


Another One

by Typosmyown



Category: One Direction
Genre: AU, Abuse, Character Death, Childhood trauma leading to mental illness, Come-play, Double Anal Penetration, Graphic Sex, Harry’ POV, M/M, Mental Illness, Rape, Self-Harm, Suicide Attempt, Tongue Fucking, disgraceful reference to caking, if you’ve read me you know me, nipple-play, self-play, still adding tags, still writing shameless smut
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-04-14
Updated: 2019-01-13
Packaged: 2019-04-22 16:26:35
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death, Rape/Non-Con, Underage
Chapters: 73
Words: 228,346
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14312637
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Typosmyown/pseuds/Typosmyown
Summary: Harry works as a prostitute. Not the everyday kind, but the kind whose clients, mostly men, pay very well for. So why does he want to spend his entire hard earned savings to save the wealthy boy with the cerulean eyes?





	1. Chapter 1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Encounter  
> ***

Harry walks into the restaurant, one of London’s finest, and the maitre’d snaps to attention.

It’s not that Harry is the wealthiest man in town. No. He’s actually barely “man” given that his 18th birthday just past a month ago. It was notable because Niall, of all people, brought him a cupcake. Harry looked at this amazing, beautiful buttercream cupcake and could think only one thing. 

How can someone go to the finest bakery in London, buy a cupcake big enough to feed four, give it to someone for their birthday and yet somehow get a cat hair on it?

Well that would be Niall.

Harry thanked Niall. Offered it back. Niall promptly ate it. Had two minutes of pleasant conversation with Harry and then left. On his way to collect a lost kitten he thought he knew of needing rescuing, or so Niall said, something like that. 

That was Harry’s eighteenth birthday. The story of his one and only present because when you’re someone like Harry, nobody really thinks of you as a person...having a birthday. Or feelings. So this made the cupcake from Niall a remarkable thing because at least Niall gave Harry thought. 

Not the kind of thought typically directed at Harry.

And yet there was another present that came to Harry that day, February 1st, Harry’s 18th, about a month ago. 

It was a smile. Harry remembers because just like today he’d come to this restaurant, Payne’s, at lunch to meet a client. Frequently this was Harry’s thing. More often though, he picked this restaurant, ever since what happened on his recent birthday. 

... 

Harry had arrived, the maitre’d directed him to a secluded table. His client arrived on time, they always do when the can only get Harry for lunch and something brief after. Harry and his client ate quickly...they had details, d e t a i l s, to attend to. Afterall the client, older gentleman, had to be back to work in 90 minutes and a wife and kids to get home to later. This was his only chance for what Harry offers.

So there was Harry, and his client, having lunch at this exclusive, posh restaurant when passing by their table was an acquaintance of Harry’s meal ticket déjour. The passing man, also arond fifty, clearly wealthy, well dressed and rather austere made the point to briefly stop and speak with Harry’s client. Their conversation coded. It’s content of no consequence to Harry so Harry’s attention drifted.

From his lunch, the table, Harry’s attention drifted landing where it would take over in Harry from then on leaving him feel something burning into him that has no rest...

It happened with the smile. Yes. The smile. On Harry’s birthday. Given freely, for no reason. Just a smile.

Oh, but the giver. He was a boy about Harry’s age. Smaller. Chestnut hair. Blue eyes.

No, wait. Not blue. 

Cerulean, yes they were like the sea.

This boy, the one walking into the restaurant following dutifully, almost hidden, behind the austere man gave Harry this small, warm smile just seconds before he was swept away from a brief stop beside Harry’s table as the short, coded conversation between the two older men came to an end. 

It’s the first time a smile had ever taken Harry’s breath away. Harry was about to stand and introduce himself to the lad when the austere man suddenly moved off. In retrospect that was for the better, Harry thought, because it would be in bad form for Harry to introduce himself to someone so attractive when out with a paying client. Always his job is, along with the sex, to be discrete. Discrete is hard enough when you look like Harry. Sex on legs, long hair, dimples to die for and the smile that melts the polar ice caps.

But on Harry’s birthday his own smile was trumped in Harry’s. It was overshadowed by that boy’s. The boy Harry discovered is the son of Austere Man. After that day Harry made it a point to learn more about the boy. He’d learned a little from frequenting the restaurant. Things like, much like Harry, the boy was only seen at the restaurant as an Arm Piece. Unlike Harry, Harry since learned, was only, or always, seen with his father, Mr Autere Man, but when his father brought him it was definitely for d i s p l a y. Austere Man was hyper aware of eyes on his lad. 

Of course. Why not display him, use him for attention, when you have a son as pretty and vexing as the boy is. The first day Harry saw him, Louis had done just that, vexed Harry. By the end of his lunch, Harry had noted without drawling attention to his interest every other detail he could about this boy.

Louis was more than pretty. The way his mouth was shaped, his cute nose, playful eyes, completely insanely pixie like hair wasn’t all that was attractive about him. He moved with purpose. From the tiniest detail, like how he sipped his tea, to the way he walked, he moved like he had a gift of motion. Harry knows something about motion. Sex is motion. It’s all about rthym. Balance. Pressure points. Release. 

This boy, the one who was the son of Mr Austere, he moved like sex. Smooth. Harry caught sight of that when he watched Louis’ arse as the boy rose to go to the restroom and Harry got all of a few fleeting seconds of a glance at the lad’s insanely, girly, plump bum.

Standing now before the maitre’d Harry blushes because it hits him every time he’s scheduled for lunch here it takes Harry a minute to ask the maitre’d in a causal, not obvious way as to whether Louis, and his father of course, because Louis only accompanies his father, are by chance dining at Payne’s today. Or perhaps coming soon? Harry hopes he doesn’t sound weird in his ask. He tries to play it casual. Frankly he knows he’s not doing this well because he’s been making his visits to this restaurant far too often lately and on every occasion he’s asking for the same information; are Mr Austere and his son Louis planning to dine at Payne’s today? 

Harry just gets the query out when he looks across the restaurant. It strikes him. 

Cerulean eyes making a casual scan across the room meet his. It was likely an accident but nevertheless the boy smiles instantly upon seeing Harry. Like a jolt Harry’s body tingles. Harry returns the smile. He’s stopped from taking the overt step of making his way toward the boy’s table when he feels a hand on his back. Harry turns. It’s his client. Another man too mature, too self impressed, too whatever but before Harry can react Harry rethinks. This wealthy man, his client, and the sex Harry will have with him, is what has brought Harry here, not the lad with the pretty smile and the cerulean eyes. Turning back as the maitre’d makes haste to take them to their table, a place unfortunately far from Louis’, Harry sees Louis has gone back to his conversation with the austere mister. 

Okay so it’s not his birthday, Harry thinks. But if Louis would just smile at him again it would feel like it could be.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It’s typical day of business for Harry only difference is he wonders about the one with the cerulean eyes.  
> ***

Harry leaves lunch which they finished in an unheard of speedily amount of time. He is with his client and they walk back to the client’s office where in an expansive board room they do it. 

It’s fast. It’s kind of raunchy. It’s easy money. 

Harry leaves the client’s workplace looking like the “consultant” his client introduced him as when they headed to the board room after passing the stare of the receptionist. Harry usually gets the women starring dumbstruck. Today is no different. Another thing Harry always knows about is how to prepare for these office-setting fucks. He’s done them countless times before. More and more he worrries less about the little things, who cleans up, because, well, because Harrry is earning top dollar. So when they are done Harry simply leaves. The fucking client can clean up the mess. And when a client, like on this day, asks if they can “barter” a trade for Harry’s service, well no, they can’t. Harry’s beyond charity now.

Today the client tries for the barter because he’s gotten addicted to Harry. Moneyed or not he’s worried about his expensive habit. It’s funny because on his knees, sucking Harry off, is London’s most newly famed investment consultant and company CEO. He’s promising Harry, with Harry’s permission, he can invest Harry’s pay for these services that he wants to expand going forward, and in turn Harry’s money will grow exponentially. 

Harry grabs the balding man’s tie. He pulls it tight. He threatens in a deep growl that he won’t accept such an insulting offer. With the man’s face becoming red from suffocation Harry knows this dominance turns this pathetic man on. He releases and waits for the begging that always comes after he makes the terms clear. Harry may sell sex but no one controls him.

“I’ll take my pay in cash, you pathetic scum. Or I’ll charge you double if there is a next time, it’s double, and still not giving you what you want! Hum?” Harry releases the tie completely only after his impact has the client weeping from the client’s tiny cock. Despite Harry’s mannoyance with his the man has got his penis one in one of his own hands because Harry tone makes him more urgent. The kneeling client’s other hand was on Harry’s dick as he was bobbing on Harry’s very endowed cock. Weeping also erupts from the client’s smallish, unimpressive eyes. Eyes of blue...not cerulean. Not spectacular. 

Harry let’s the man whimper and weep. He needs this. Like so many powerful men, Harry knows the client needs this. 

***

When Harry leaves a few minutes earlier than the allotted time he was booked for, 90 minutes including lunch, he leaves with double the money. These business men. These rich, intelligent, arrogant, powerful business men. They are all the same. They’ll take what Harry gives. They’ll pay more. They’ll beg for him again. 

As he’s walking from that score on the sidewalks of London in its poshest district he comes to a cross walk where a light pauses him.

Looking over to the window nearest he sees an avert. The latest showing by Zayn Malik is debuting soon at a local gallery. Harry notes the date and thinks it’s a night he’s booked. It occurs to him to not be conflicted about not being there for his long time friend, Artist Zayn, because Harry’s client that night is an avid art collector. Likely they will go to Zayn’s opening. After they will get a late dinner. Later yet they will fuck.

This agenda would likely go well for the client. Something about things-Zayn stirs Harry’s arousal. His perfect face? His tiny booty? His artist dramatics? Maybe it’s just that Zayn is more than hot he’s actually very, very sweet and sort of shy. He’s also total fucking wreck with people interactions and this makes Harry feel drawn to him. 

The light switches Harry is free to walk but as he steps from the curb it occurs to him how thoughts of Zayn are not giving him the usual rise, zero stiffening in fact. It’s the boy with cerulean eyes that has stolen the place of Zany's effects on Harry. 

Now Louis. Wondering what assets Louis has, as Harry walks on. This makes him harden. Good thing. Harry’s just gotten a text from a client with “an emergency”. 

This is a client located only a few blocks away. Is Harry able to come buy now? It’s an emergency! 

Harry stops to text back a reply. “On my way. I’m going to take extra for this you know.”

The reply comes back immediately. “Yes, yes, whatever you say. Just bring that mouth of yours to me! Please! Before the office staff gets back! We worked through lunch to finish a project on deadline so I gave them all a late extended lunch break to compensate. Only really, must admit, it’s been too long, I need you!”


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Harry’s preparing to meet a client when Liam’s timing for an invite affords his meeting Louis.
> 
> ***

Harry has to be crazy. Liam wants him to meet at the park at 4PM and Harry has a client at six. He’s just showered, combed out his long hair when Liam phones.

“Harry, it’s Li”, Liam says as if Harry doesn’t see his name on caller-iD or just wouldn't know Liam’s voice because they’ve only been friends forever, but whatever. “come on out, just for a quick bit” Liam rambles on giddy with exuberance, “got news to share.”

Harry huffs and puffs. Stalls. Basically the thing is Harry was out longer than he should have been the night before with a massive wanker. He’s not sure but he thinks his arse might never recover, why did he decide he’d bottom for that guy again? He knows better, but last night was not a client. So Harry took it. And he’s suffering. But god oh mighty the guy pounded his arse so hard he almost forgot... the cerulean eyes. The smile. Louis. The boy he’s yet to hear speak he just certain that when he finally does it will be the death of him because everyrhng about this boy seems...home? 

Tonight his client, however is not an arse-pounder. She, that is she, is a lady, her late thirties, maybe forty, quite fit and one of the few women Harry will fuck on a regular basis. She’s also expecting him to pick her up at five and they will collect her friends, drive the city in the chauffeured stretch car she has picking them up. Drink champagne. Go to the clubs. Harry will do his moves. Her friends will suffer in envy. 

You see unlike her, the friends she’s invited are all married early. Money into money marriages. They all have kids. Demanding husbands too. But she...she has Harry. And he grinds against her arse like a dream. She will have her driver get the sadder-life choice friends home to their babes and papas while she, she has Harry for the night.

His lips. His body. His charm.

So Harry can’t be late for her; she puts a lot of expectations in one evening with him. “Liam, brother, love to, can’t though. Work at five.” 

Harry looks at his Rolex. No he can’t. He is touching up the details on his appearance when Liam says the one thing that compels Harry.

“Okay, I get it. But Harry, I got it!”

Harry almost doesn’t hear the hint. He’s about to say something ordinary like “okay bye”, “another time”, “sorry mate, not tonight”. Then he gets it.

Liam has been this amazing guy, working class, smart, but none of the advantages. He’s struggled. Failed a lot. Worked through a few. Work. Yeah, that’s really it. Liam never does this...invite friends for a brief face to face with good news. No Liam is the type to leave his first job of the day and go to his second. If job one makes him late and he gets docked at job two he doesn’t explain, complain or cry. He does his work. Then he goes to job three.

Right. Liam is a worker bee.

Not only does he worke harder for less pay than anyone Harry knows but he helps others. He has the biggest heart. You see that on his face. The way his eyes are soft, their brown like comfort of chocolate. His voice soft.

Harry can’t be sure but he thinks just maybe Liam is a saint.

So the “it” Liam refers to when he says “I got it” is one thing.

Liam got his scholarship and is heading to a medical education program that puts him on the path to a dream of his life to be a doctor.

Not just any doctor. Liam is a rescuer. He wants to do children’s medicine, the rough stuff.

Realizing this is the call’s purpose Harry snaps out of it. He stops fussing over his Steve McQueen suit and how his arse looks in the mirror wearing it and reacts like he should.

“You, you, you...got it!”

“Yeah, I did. Can you believe it! Harry, I’m finally going somewhere. No more working three jobs, I mean not immediately of course, but soon! No more living with four roommates, again...eventually. But soon Harry. Soon I will help make the world a better place for kids, helping kids....”

There a pause. Liam’s excitement catches Harry in it and he too feels what he guesses makes Liam hesitate. Liam gets a crackly throat sound out of his way and plows on. “Harry what if I help with advances for treating what killed my baby brother! What if, if....”

Harry can’t help but to laugh. He’s not being insensitive but he knows exactly how jacked up and excited Liam is because Liam has always turned a negative into positive. He doesn’t mourn his baby brother like most would with regret. Liam is strong. He celebrates. He will be a great pediatric doctor. Revolutionize medicine.

Harry’s so excited for Liam’s passion he looks at his gold watch again and grabs his phone. His hair is not perfectly groomed, the lady likes it to be in a neat pony tail until they hit the bed, but he’ll go with his hair as is. Better to meet Liam on the cusp of a great tomorrow.

***

A park? Liam wants to meet at a park. When Harry gets there he’s got maybe ten minutes to be with Liam before he picks up the client in her car and they go together to collect her friends. He’s already nervous about time.

Liam sees him from afar and waves. He’s got an ice cream cart. Fuck. Saint Liam has an ice cream cart. In the park. He’s celebrating by giving out free ice cream to random kids! Really?

Harry strides up. He’s casullay looking around maybe because he is wearing a fucking designer suit in a public park full of kids and some footballers so he is conspicuous looking for the park in his attire. But whatever.

“Liam!” Harry shouts, open arms for a hug.

Liam looks up for a handoff of an ice cream cone to the last of what was a line of kids and considers, probably by body language, hugging the welcoming Harry but he averts last second. Liam realizes he has ice cream stains on his white apron that would transfer to Harry who is in a silk, designer suit.

“Really Harry, are you working all night tonight mate?”

“Yea,” Harry says. “Five. Client at five. Or her car is picking me up, I go to her office, then her friends. She wants to show me off.”

Liam looks down at his cart. He turns some of the little remaining ice cream before closing the top of it and addressing Harry.

“Harry. Can’t you quit this? Tonight. Now? Just put it aside? I know it’s a lot of money but Harry. Harry...”

“Haarrrey?” The voice says.

It’s not Liam’s, this echo of the name.

It’s not any voice Harry has ever heard before but it’s echoing Liam saying Harry’s name and extending the name like the name is butter. Something to be savored.

Harry, or ” Haarrrey” , and Liam both turn to the speaker of the name with the distinctive-sounding voice.

Standing there looking at the two of them holding the hand of a small girl with a bloody knee and barely dried tears is a footballer. The girl is maybe about four years of age. Holding her hand is actually ...

Louis. It’s Louis having just spoken Harry’s name as a question, making it buttery-sounding, savored when he held it in his mouth.

“Hi Louis” says Liam matter of factly like he’s known Louis, cerulean-eyes Louis, for years so this is an unexpected encounter. Quick to assess damages Liam glances at the girl and says, “Need some ice cream?” Meanwhile Liam’s acting like the way Louis was saying the name of Harry was like it was a game. 

The girl, bloody knee girl, looks like Liam in fright even though he is to offer to her a scoop of ice cream in a sugar cake cone. He’s doing this without a word from her and no making eye contact but she still is very shy and uncertain of him. The smal girl buries her head into one thigh of Louis’ white football shorts , because fucking-aye, Louis is wearing soccer clothes, and this girl, all of four maybe doesn’t know his thighs are the personal zone, or that they look like ...

Well.

Harry is done. He literally can’t speak. Liam proceeds to make the exchange to the girl of the cone which she is afraid to take but Liam passes it in stride to Louis, her champion, whose thigh she’s hiding her face against until Louis offers to pass it on to her.

Once the cone is in her hand she also looks to have lost some of her fear but she scowls back at Liam like he might have handed her poison in a frozen concoction. Diminishing that is how Liam and Louis keep talking casually while Bloody Knee Girl works out her demons. All the while Harry stands there, mouth agape, in some state of ataxia.

It is Louis. The boy he’d stalked at the fine restaurant while at “his work” with billionaire clients who before now Harry was only an occasional patron of a reknowned restaurant. That was before he discovered Louis frequents there, not this sporty sweaty Louis but a Louis who dresses like an avant-guard model while sat at luncheon or dinner with his wealthy father.

But now in this city park, with Harry’s watch alarm sounding because he has to leave for a night of fucking some woman, here is that Louis. He’s got a little girl holding is hand which, frankly makes him somehow sexier than shit. She trusts him. Maybe that is it.

He’s so appealingly sweaty. Of course. He’s been playing a game. The park has three games running on three different pitches and clearly Louis is on one of six teams. His hair is pulled back away from his face; he’s got a hair band on. Harry can really see Louis’ features. The mostly white team clothes Louis is wearing stick to his body here and there so Harry can see the shape of him better too. His thighs....just stop.

“Just stop” Harry hears. He realizes he is drooling and he said that audibly, though to himself, as Louis has squatted to be eye to eye with the little girl. She was suspicious of food from strangers and even though Louis assured her that Liam is a known friend to him still she refuses the ice cream.

The drooling Liam notices, accuses Harry of, though he too speaks about it so quietly as to not disrupt Louis’ touching interaction with the girl.

Drooling came over Harry more though because Croutched Louis has just taken a lick of the girl’s cone to demonstrate that it is indeed safe-to-eat, no poison. 

“Charly,” Louis says as he passes the ice cream he just kitten licked over to her, “baby, I promise you, it’s safe. Li-Li wouldn’t poison children. He loves all of them.” Louis head turns and he smiles at Liam. 

Fuck.

It’s the birthday gift smile Harry dreams of that Louis makes for Liam as he looks at Liam in his ask. “Isn’t that right Li-Li?”

Liam is assuring the girl this is the god’s truth. Does she want sprinkles? Liam asks her when Harry’s phone goes off. He’s ignored his watch alarm, his 10K watch’s alarm and now his client has been informed by her driver that he is late to the car and what is he doing she shrieking into the phone.

Harry is about to have his neurons explode from all the conflict. It looks like Bloody Knee Girl is settling into eating her ice cream being properly assured at last, Liam is about to introduce Harry to Louis. Or Louis to Harry...fuck...Louis has stood up hand reaching out and smiling at Harry...oh .god...the birthday smile...when...

Louis looks away. It’s a sound. Harry doesn’t not know what the sound is. He thinks it’s a whistle. Sort of a dog whistle, is it not? Yes? No. Maybe. But no.

One thing for sure is Harry reaching for Louis’ hand, as Liam is saying to them each of their names in a manner of introduction. Harry also sees how the little girl taking note of Louis’ body language as Louis goes rigid, controlled, none of things stop when what happens next happens.

Louis pulls away. His hand never gives to touch Harry’s. His smile becomes a cloud, he forgets about the little girl, he turns away, he runs.

As he runs off Harry hears the phone in his suit blowing up from messages, an angry client no doubt, the little girl screams after Louis because he’s leaving her and nothing registers of these noises at the moment because all Harry does register is the delightful bounce of the fleeing boy’s bum as he makes his hasty retreat. Louis gets to street side where without looking back he gets into a distinctive French blue Bentley. The car drives off.

 

In his ears Harry hears the small child cry. Harry almost feels like he could join her.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Louis’ interactions with two children, Charly and Rupert, at the park gives Harry an entirely different view of the Louis mystery while his good friend Liam tries to dissuade Harry’s peaking curiosity.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Lol I was editing this as fast as I can as ten people were reading it! Thanks for the interest!
> 
> ***

“Looo- wee!” The little girl keeps screaming even after the blue Bentley disappears down the street. The phone in Harry’s pocket keeps vibrating like the frustrated client is calling anew over and over again, Liam just stands there looking terrified about the abandoned little girl when a boy, about eleven comes to get her in Louis’ absence.

“Charly, I know, I saw, Louis had to go. Sorry baby, can you let your actual big brother help you now?” The boy takes her hand and smiles at the two young men. “Thank you Liam, for the ice cream. Mine, and hers, she’s too shy these days for manners.” 

The politeness of the boy is wonderful. Harry thinks it will serve him well. After all when Harry started his profession he was about that age and it began from his being polite boy like this one. No family, out on the streets Harry had one skill. He was a polite boy. Unfortunately or fortunately he had many other assets. All of them his beauty. But this boy, Rupert, Harry gets his name by introducing himself as he’s going to ask this boy what else he knows about Louis, is everybit as polite as Harry was as a child and appears to have a family to love him as evidenced by how he clearly loves his little sister. People born into loving homes grow into loving people in life.

“So Rupert, your terribly shy sister, she is not afraid of Louis. How does she know him?” Harry asks like doing it cleverly enough to not sound like fishing even though he can feel Liam looking at him like Liam isn’t sure Harry should be asking about Louis. 

Harry is sure the boy will give an answer something like how Louis is a teacher, it is a profession that just suits Louis, or he works as a nanny. Yes that is less common for young men than young women but there was just something about how Louis is with kids that makes him seem like he’s born to it. 

“He’s around sometimes, plays footy when he can. My and my friends have gotten so much better since he helps us a lot. My sister, she’s always been shy but she just fell in love with him because he acts like a toddler most the time.”

The little girl is looking at her brother like she adores him. She whispers something that her brother has to bend down to hear. “My sister wants you to know that Louis sometimes does funny puppet shows. She wants you to know he’s very funny. Talks in voices.”

Harry’s heart is beating like it’s pulsing blood for the first time in years. Is that a fucking joke? Louis, sexy, sporty, bouncing-bum-Louis, who is also pretty-fucking-model-Louis is also....amature puppeteer in his off time and kid’s coach? 

“So is he, does he coach at your school or something?” Harry’s next question has Liam platently intensifying his stare at Harry’s unusual and ill-hidden interest.

Rupert laughs. Scoffs a bit, answers. “Who Louis? Louis Tomlinson? Work? Funny. But no. Louis doesn’t have to work, did you see the car that picked him up? Besides he’s never been to school, I don’t think. He’s not even eighteen yet either, isn’t he seventeen Liam?”

Liam nervously packs up the icecream cart he’s gotten on loan. He’s now getting a razor stare turned back on him from Harry who all of a sudden finds out that there’s this world people live in including his good friend Liam where they all already know this new obsession Harry’s just met. How can it be that Harry and Louis have been in the same part of town, sharing the same friend and all this time he’s never seen Louis until so recently?

Liam’s voice breaks nervously. He answers only after the boy excuses himself and his sister because his friends are calling him back to their side of the park.

“Louis is seventeen. That’s right.” Liam answers uncomfortably without eye contact. 

“Doesn’t go to school?” Harry’s tone is taking an edge to it.

“Nope, not since he was about Rupert’s age I think. But he might have private tutors. He’s very witty and smart.”

“Doesn’t need a job, so that kind of old money wealthy?”

Liam begins to seem highly nervous. Harry’s tone, Harry’s interest, the inquisition getting to him. “Harry, he’s not the type.” Liam answers.

“Not the type?” Now Harry’s got an uncomfortable feeling coming over him. “Not what type? Not the type to work? Or...what the fuck does that mean Liam? Not the type?”

Liam is winching literally when he speaks. They are such good friends and now Harry has put Liam on the spot. Liam, Harry’s biggest advocate for Harry being to good for what he does is going to say the thing. And this one. It’s going to hurt.

“Not the type to spend money on...” Liam doesn’t say ‘the-likes-of-you’. “...he, um, he, he doesn’t even like sex probably.”

Harry feels the knife go in. “Oh, So the thing you’re saying is he doesn’t have to spend money for sex, right? Of course. Look at him and you see he’s too beautiful to need to pay for it. People stop talking when they see him for the first time. I saw that on the day I first ran into him. I was at your uncle’s restaurant, Liam, he was there. I watched him while I ate with a client. Anyone who came passing by his table dropped their jaw and stared. They stared like people stare when they want something. You know I know about that better than most. But what you meant to say what because you see I’m curious, what you meant is that he doesn’t like sex with men, right? He’s straight and I’m gay. He’s rich and I’m a prostitue. I get it Liam.”

Harry turns to leave. He’s now terribly late. His friend just said all the things that hurt only when they are said by a friend. Liam calls after him says things shouting after Harry as Harry storms off like ‘it’s not like that’, ‘don’t go’, ‘come out with [Liam] for more celebration’, but Harry continues walking off with an angry carriage to his stride.

***

It’s hurts so fucking much that at 4AM, his client asleep after hours and hours of sex, Harry wants to call Liam and pretend they didn’t have that bad exchange. 

He starts to call Liam from the bathroom having slid from bed so not to wake his client but he stops. 4AM on Saturday morning Liam is getting up so he can go to one of his jobs. Orderly at a hospital. He’ll work there until noon. At noon he goes to his other job at the place that details cars if he got a shift because it is the job that actually pays the best hourly rate believe it or not. And most days if it’s not a class day at Uni Liam finishes his day at the restaurant that his uncle owns. His job at the restaurant is a floater. He does whatever his uncle needs. Bus-boy didn’t show up? Liam is going to be busing tables and washing dishes. Waiter has the flu; Liam is waiting tables. His uncle needs accounting or inventory done? Liam is bright, he’s studying premed and business administration so accounting is easy for him. 

Liam is a saint. He’s never mean. He’s never slighted Harry for being what Harry is.

Harry should apologize. He should. But why did Liam get so bothered by Harry being attracted to Louis. In the past Liam has said he’d like to see Harry got to school, stop working the demoralizing thing he does, make a career in anything respectable, meet a nice man, someone his own age, fall in love. Marry. Have kids.

Louis is Harry’s age. He’s respectable. He is clearly crazy about kids.

So what wrong with Harry just at the very least wanting to know a few things about Louis?

Harry gives up considering calling Liam. He goes back to his money-bed and slips in beside his client. She’ll want a good dicking when she wakes. Probably two. He’s got to get in the mood.

Laying on his back his arms up across his face he feels tears. It hurts. He tells himself it’s just a fuck for a lot of cash but it hurts. He wants the life of respectable work. Marriage. Kids. A daughter as cute as that one with the skinned-knee today.

The way the little girl tucked her face into Louis’ tan, full, tan thigh as she gripped on his sorts showing more of how firm and muscular they are. The image seeps into Harry’s mind.

That’s all it takes. Harry immediately has an image of Louis running off, his booty bouncing visibly outlined by his white shorts. What would those full cheeks feel like in Harry’s hands?

Harry’s client will wake happily now. His fantasies have made the sheets tent over his pelvis as his erection is strong. It’s so strong Harry knows he can wake the sleeping now and his client surely won’t retain any anger over his tardiness yesterday.


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Liam’s backstory. Niall’s introduction into the story. Everybody [knows] Louis apparently.

Harry goes by the restaurant because he’s hoping the blue Bentley is there. It’s not. 

He shouldn’t be here anyway, he knows Liam is at Uni. He’s not going to be able to casually scope out information from anyone esle at the restaurant about the Tomlinson’s dining frequency. As a hired escort, he himself frequents this establishment because of its highly discrete practices. This works well for Harry. Nobody bats an eye if a man is with Harry one night and the same man is back the following night with the wife. The man may even be sat at the same table on consecutive nights, the client may have ordered the same wine for Harry one night that he orders for his wife the next. If a waiter was to overhear the wife ask her husband what’s good on the menu because she knows he frequents the establishment with business associates and Harry’s client lies to her, “Can’t tell you sweetheart, haven’t been here for a while,” never will the waiter reveal the secrets. 

That’s the thing about this place. It’s one of the finest because it’s made a reputation for excellence in both cuisine and confidentiality. Harry knows this comes from Liam’s uncle’s ownership and his high standards. Harry also knows that it’s got to be painful for Liam working here knowing Payne family history, how convoluted it is. 

Years ago the restaurant opened with two brothers at the helm. Liam’s father, the most reknowned, chef in the fast paced world of fine dining was the head chef. Liam’s uncle the business manager. It was soon the only place for the wealthiest to eat. Liam was a child when it opened, his younger brother born a year before the opening, the family seemed to have it all with the establishment’s smashing success. Restaurant life is however, a sub-culture world. Like carnival workers, prostitues, a subculture only those in it understand the challenges to take kind. Sure the money can be great for the select few successful restaurantuers, but the hours are long, the adreline always fueled by the pace and the demands of being judged every minute of a dish that can go off wrong if one minor thing isn’t right. Most people who are chefs burn out within a few years of success because it’s a cycle. The cycle becomes a master. This is why many people who are chefs are overweight, from lack of time to rest and exercise. Many are also then forced to lean on drugs to get them through the bump of energy needed any given day. 

This is the story of Liam’s father. Liam’s baby brother too, an innocent victim of the subculture life. Liam’s dad on a binge of drugs made a fatal error. The infant died. Liam’s mother was hospitalized in an institution afterwards. The strain of enduring the futile two-day struggle to save her baby’s life left her emotionally vacant. Liam’s father was forced out of the business, accidents or not, he was never seen by his family from the time of the tragedy because the uncle insisted he leave, accident or not, he was bad press. Rumors circulated he’d moved to this place or that place but he could not be forgiven by the family. Liam’s uncle took in his nephew, gave him a home. Going forward from that the uncle a man who was always rigid, strictly business, became relentlessly so. Liam began working washing dishes by thirteen. He rearely saw his mother and if he did it was an empty experience because she didn’t know him after her other child’s death. The baby’s death. Liam used it to fuel his goal to be a pediatric doctor in trauma units.

Standing around outside the restaurant Harry reflects on the tradgedy of Liam’s life and how it’s what binds them as friends. When Harry became a street orphan, was his situation that different? Has he ever tried like Liam to turn the bad into his shield for doing good? How can he justify being mad at Liam when Liam is simply doing what he has to given his own life hardships. Maybe Harry should forgive Liam that it’s ingrained in him by his uncle be discrete. Work hard. Don’t tell stories about others. You don’t know about their life. Liam hasn’t got it in him to talk about the negatives. 

Harry decides the best thing to do is to loose the anger and go to see Liam. What the hell, walking to campus might give his an idea of what way he can better himself. With his earnings he can afford to pay for his education. He even knows one of the school’s chancellors. Knows the man in-that-way, the way that obligates the man. He might help Harry with admissions if it guarantees the secrecy of how they are acquainted.

Harry is just deciding he might be able to do this and stop looking for Blue Bentleys when he sees Niall, odd Niall doing, well, something ...odd. Niall is between two brick buildings that are nice office buildings, on his knees looking under some pallet that has stacks of cardboard for waste collection on it. He’s talking to someone. Someone under a pallet? 

Harry stops. He has to ask. “Oi! Niall! What are you doing? Don’t most leprechauns know to look for gold under rainbows?”

Niall gets up, dust off his knees and strides to Harry. 

Talk about weird lives. Harry knows Niall’s has been unusual in some ways too. For the most part Niall never shows it in his disposition because he’s always gregarious and laughing.

“Harry, great! You’re here,” Niall says like they were expecting each other to meet. “Give me a hand will ya?”

A hand with what, Harry’s not sure because Niall turns to go back to the pallet giving Harry’s arm a tug to force the issue that Harry’s got to help him. Standing beside the pallet Niall gives instructions. 

“Okay so we both need to take an end and lift this up and away from the side of the building.”

What? Harry isn’t dressed to do labor. Neither is Niall but, like always, Niall is wearing nice clothes under a duster, or Australian style long rain coat. Harry doesn’t know that he’s ever seen Odd Niall around town without the distinctive coat.

“Wait, Niall, first two questions. Why would I do that? I’m not one for getting my hands dirty. Two, why are you mewing, you’re mewing, why?” 

Niall pulls a face, nods to the bulky thing he’s asking Harry to help him lift and says, “Help and all will be revealed.” There’s more mewing sounds and what odd for Harry is how the sounds seem to come from Niall’s coat. Harry makes a grumpy noise but he gives in. Together the boys lift the pallet. As they set it down Harry sees that under the pallet which provided shelter is a clump of rags on top of which are two tiny kittens. They are not old enough to be without their mum for very long. Niall picks them up, both fitting easily into his cupped hands. He proceeds to open one of his large pockets on one side of his duster plop the kittens into the pocket. Then he turns to show Harry the pocket on the other side of his coat. Lifting the flap of the pocket to reveal it contents Niall shows Harry he’s already got two other tiny kittens in the large pocket on that side of his coat. Right. Mewing noises.

Your kidding. Harry thinks.

“Found the mama dead on the road over there. When I picked up her broken body I saw she had full teets like she was nursing. Two of these poor little things had made their way crawling out, maybe because mama had been gone too long. The other two are mush littler, too weak. Especially this carmel-colored one. ”Niall changes focus to the other pocket, the one where he just put the two kittens Harry just helped him retrieve.

“I already got a name for that one. Gonna call him Louis because he’s tiny, cute, got the right carmel-color in his fur,”

Whatever Niall was going to say next is cut off. 

“What the fuck do you mean going to call it Louis? It’s tiny, it is cute, it’s got the right color in its fur? Fuck, are you saying like Louis Tomlinson is ...tiny? Cute? His hair full of those of highlights that makes his fringe simply killer when they get in his eyes? THAT LOUIS?”

Harry’s shouting has Niall astonished. His eyes widen. He hestitates a second as Harry bends over putting his hands on his knees becasue if he doesn’t he’ll fall down on them. Does everybody know Louis? Harry can’t breathe.

Niall comes to him outing a hand on Harry’s back and rubs it while speaking softly.

“I don’t think he’d take it as an insult. If it helps I’m naming the brown one Liam. The black one Zayn and I’ll save your name for the little one with green eyes that was still snuggled down there in the nest with Kitten Louis.”

Harry vomits. It’s not a lot, but he vomits enough that a little stomach content his in the back of his throat. 

How can Niall, a relatively new resident to this part of London, also be acquainted with Louis? Acquainted enough to call him things that define him. Tiny, cute, Carmel-colored fringe?

Niall gets Harry to stand up and come with him. Kittens in pockets, they walk together as Niall assists Harry who admits he feels suddenly light-headed. The world Harry knows has completely turned upside down.

“Are you okay Harry? Do you want me to help you? Are you meeting with someone, er...your...um...date?”

Harry can’t fucking believe Odd Niall, who knows very little about him is being simultaneously this sensitive, thoughtful while acknowledging Harry’s place around here in this decidedly kind sort of way.

“No, no, not meeting anyone. No, um, no date. No why...”

What Harry means to ask is why is Niall being so nice. He forgot to finish because he almost switched mid thought to ask how Niall knows Louis. But Niall interprets the question as it stands differently. “Why? Because I was working on this kitten predicament and I saw you. You were standing around like you were waiting for someone. Everytime when you go to that Payne’s restaurant you go there with someone, a man. Or. Men. Lots of different men, you know.”

How does Niall have the time to know this? What does Niall even do? Why is he always around, clearly enough to know a lot of people and their habits, why?

All these questions want answers but before they can be asked Harry wants to know the pressing question. “Niall, you wouldn’t by chance know where the blue Bentley is right now would you? Where Louis is?”


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Get to know Niall as he reveals some of Louis’ story.

Niall and Harry walk a little ways. They come to a car. A very nice car. Not a Bentley. This is Niall’s vehicle. It’s a Ferrari. Opening a door passenger’s side Niall says “Get in.” Once Harry does Niall plus four kittens from his two pockets and plops them in Harry’s lap. They immediately mew their protests and wiggle to find comfort among each other’s company.

Niall gets in and starts the car. As they drive he seems to have a certain route which he takes purposefully. He talks filling a void. After some turns that make no sense he announces, “Okay from what I’ve seen on my outings we’ve covered the usual places that the Tomlinson’s go if they are dining out. No Bentley. I guess they are home tonight for dinner.”

Outings? “Niall what do you mean by outings? What do you even do, by the way?” 

It’s never occurred to Harry to give much thought to Niall. He’s too young for the type who usually hire Harry. He never acts like a wealthy person. He seems to easy-going. He seems too unguarded. And yet here he is driving his car, his very expensive car, around for Harry’s benefit. So what is Niall? Other than odd.

“What do I do? My family is in banking. So I do some classes at Uni, I help out with the business a little. But my passion is animals. I want to be a veterinarian. Not a thing that resonates at home. So for now I do this.”

“This? This, what is ‘this’?”

“I roam this part of London, it has many good restaurants, that attracts strays to the waste. My focus is on the stray cats that are Momma cats, their kittens. I rescue them, get them medical care, find them homes. I’ve been trying to get to these kitten’s mother for days. One of my friends who works around here tipped me off there was this pregnant cat who stopped coming. He thought she’d had her babies. I knew she would be hunkered down in some birth nest around here. Wish I’d gotten to her before a car did.”

Niall looks at the kittens who are mostly yawning and sleeping in Harry’s lap with the purring of motor soothing them. Harry’s warmth comfort too. “Liam, Zayn, Harry and Little Louis will be fine at least.”

Niall’s story has Harry forgetful of watching their route but he’s familiar with itonce he looks around. Many of the wealthiest live in this district. Niall turns his car onto a road Harry knows. They come up on Zayn’s house, his father’s home that is. They pass it. When they come to the grand-gated front entry of the house next door to Zayn’s Niall stops. He leaves the car where from the street you can see the manor. It’s lux. 

“Tomlinson’s. Home of Hathaway Tomlinson and his son Louis. Hathaway, you should know, because he works for many of the people you go with. Also he is the shrewdest barrister in all of London. He’s a widower. Louis’ mum died when he was about eleven. After that Louis was removed from the private school and became home tutored. He was seen out very little for years. Seems like when me family moved to town the shift had occurred. Now he’s out a lot with his father. But he still has a mostly sequestered at home life. Shame, he’s socially brilliant. Although he gets really excited when he’s around crowds so usually he gets too loud. Playful. He loves kids. Dogs. Music.”

Harry looks at the stone work of the manor and tries to read more about Louis in its edifice more. He remembers how Louis was the first time he saw Louis at the Payne’s restaurant. Harry doesn’t stop studying the house as he speaks. “Loud? He didn’t seem loud when I almost met him last month at the restaurant. He was bashful-like. Delicate. He was like a doll, almost. He made the tiniest movements at the dining table like he was a marionette. Loud? I don’t see that.”

Niall starts to pull away from the entry of Tomlinson’s as he disputes Harry’s point of view. “Harry, he was with Hath, Hathaway. His father has an effect on him. He’s controlled, measured, like a doll. Like you said. But I can tell you, that’s not Louis. See him out at the park playing footy and he’s relentlessly bold, pushy on the field, mouthing off. He talks shit an delights in unraveling the other players with his wit. The only time he gets flustered in a game is if anyone else who’s all-alpha pats his butt. Then he goes all giggly, blushing and soft.”

Niall has stoped his car at the next gate to the manor on the other side of Louis’ house. The automatic gate engages and opens. They drive in. Oh. Harry gets it. Niall and Zayn are both neighbors of Louis’. And all this time Harry has known them he was unaware of this creature named Louis.


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Harry walks into Payne’s restroom where he overhears hate-sex that reveals the nature of the relationship between Tomlinson father and son.

When Harry gets home he’s given no thought to how the face on Niall’s father fell when he saw his son had a new, unexpected friend over to their home. Harry, the Sex-on Legs protstitue everyone wants, is obviously known to Mr Horan. Clearly, also Mr Horan, is impervious to Harry’s brand of charms. No civility in his reaction to Harry, Horan simply wants Harry out of his house. 

Summarily dismissing Harry from the presence, it’s a sign that no son of Horan’s is to be with the likes of Harry. No Son of Horan is even permitted in the curtesy of driving Harry, the-sex-for-hire, home. No. 

“Get a car for your arse with your own damn phone” Horan says to Harry with spit flying as he orders Harry to the door, his utter disgust over Harry in his house overwhelming him, “we don’t invite y o u r kind into our home.” 

Why, Harry ponders, reflecting back on the evening at Niall’s house before his eviction, before Mr Horan erupts into the room, spews hatred at seeing him, why did Niall get so closed mouthed about Louis? On the drive home Niall was very Niall-like. 

They had been playing FIFA and Harry wanted to know more about Louis. Niall ignore him and focused on FIFA. 

Harry was quite awful at the game. 

Maybe that was because Harry kept asking about Louis instead of focusing, not even trying to win the game, but all the while Niall did keep giving Harry weird nudges whenever Harry asked him things about Louis. In the three hours they gamed Niall only said one thing to all of Harry’s Louis-questions. 

The one answer Niall gave? “Louis is really good at this game. Like really good.” 

Niall said this as he nudged Harry again, his head nodding toward something off to the side. 

Was Niall trying to say something important? 

Once at home Harry rethinks the several hours at Niall’s that passed before Niall’s father put an end to it. Harry shares a flat with another prostitue, a female. She’s home so he goes to his room where his phone pings. It’s a text from Niall explaining.

“I’m sorry Harry. My father is such an arse. I told you this... we, me and him, don’t see things in the same way. I want to be a veterinarian. Not a banker. To be able to be just me. I’m not allowed to be what I want, not now. Maybe someday. But you should know, if you don’t already, when you’re with the men you date, in homes like mine, surely most of them have security cameras. My dad has them everywhere here. Also my dad, Hathaway Tomlinson, Mr Malik are all huge homophobes. Arrogant. And they golf together a lot. They talk. They share ideas about their fortresses, their security systems, and they have probably talked mostly about their sons over everything else. Our weaknesses. They might all know something about you.”

The next text from Niall comes before Harry can reply to the first.

“There’s more...”

“I’m okay where I am with my family Harry, but... Someday he’ll be gone. I’ll do my life in my own way. For Zayn it’s the same, beside Zayn is cool. He’s got so much money and fame coming in on his artistic talents that his dad can’t force him into a mini-Malik mold. Zayn can be An Artist. Mr Malik has too much to brag about letting Zayn be who he is. But Louis, it’s just recently, when I moved next door to him that something changed. So Zayn said when I was trying to figure that family out. Hath has clearly got some plan for his son, like he’s seen a glimmer of how wicked smart his kid is or something. I guess Louis wants something else. Me and Zayn don’t know what it is exactly that’s changed recently but Hathaway has let Louis go out more. So there’s that. But Harry. The worst, I can’t tell you. I can only tell you that when they, our fathers, go golf together, that’s when Louis sneaks out to the park for a game of footy. Me, Zayn, the Tomlinson’s driver, coordinate it. Hath doesn’t know. He thinks he’s giving his son free time but he has no idea how free Louis is or he’d freak...”

Again the next text seems in que before Harry can reply.

“If I was rude while you were here about your questions, it’s because probably right now my father is reviewing footage of us. There was a camera in the game room. He’s looking at footage for anything. If you’d said the wrong thing, too much about Louis, he’d immediately pick up on your interest and go tell Hath. Hath will take it out on Louis.”

Hath will take it out on Louis. That’s it. Harry seizes his phone a retreads all the texts before saying his reply. “Thanks Niall. Delete those texts and don’t have me in your contacts.”

“Way ahead of you buddy.” Winkyface and a heart follow. 

This isn't the first time Harry is wipped from existence on a phone. And now Harry got a burning reason to talk to Liam. If Niall knows this much so does Harry’s best friend who has known Louis for years. So does Harry’s other good friend Zayn, though admittedly, Zayn lives in a metaphysical, non-verbal world more than the spoken one.

***

Three days of Liam not answering Harry’s calls has Harry extremely frustrated. The meager text replies from Liam about his work not giving him a chance to get back to Harry is annoying and seems shady. But that’s not Liam.

Finally Harry decides if Liam’s got that much extra work it’s got to be at Payne’s, the restaurant, because restaurants get staff problems easier than the hospital or the auto detail place. If that job is the barrier on having really important conversations with an exasperated friend in need then Harry’s going to get bold. 

How does he arrange to coincidentally go to the restaurant? Step one, text a client that has been begging for any booking iin Harry’s busy schedule and make a pitch. “Take me to Payne’s for their finest and some expensive champagne and I’ll give you a night you’ll never forget.” 

Harry knows this is unrealistic, not the procuring the date, but the getting them into Payne’s on a weekend, no advanced reservation. But he also knows this client has the resources; tiny dick, huge bank influence. 

It’s three texts replying offering Harry other fine dining options and Harry refuses them all. He makes it clear. “I got others who will make dinner at Payne’s happen for me. My lips are about to mouth theirs if ....”

The phone rings. It’s his tiny-penis-huge-bank influence client. “No! Harry, no! Please! No. Give me a minute. Let me see what I can do. I’m sending a car for you. Meet me at Payne’s. Please. That mouth of yours, please, let it be mine.”

Harry gets to the restaurant. As he approaches the entry he’s passed by an older man and his date, or wife coming out of Payne’s. She looks mad. The man is begging for his companion to understand. Harry hears enough of their conversation to know how things went down. “Marsha, I’m sorry. I know we’ve planned tonight for months, just sat down. But you need to understand the man who came to the table is our money sweety. He is our money! He holds in his hands our financial future...” they get into a car before the situation of power can be described more but Harry knows his client got their table out from under them. 

Once inside Harry is not surprised to see his client standing there eagerly waiting for him. From the entrance Harry can see there is a flurry of activity by waiters at a table that looks mostly untouched though they appear to be resetting it. The maitre’d tonight, Liam, as luck does or does not have it, comes to Harry’s benefactor and says “Mr Anderson, if you and your guest will, wait one minute please, your table will be ready.”

Liam follows this with a sheepish-look at Harry. He tries to act like he’s less familiar with Harry than he is. This is customary when Harry is with his work but this time it hurts a little. When Mr Anderson gets distracted by a message on his phone, maybe from the couple he pushed out are asking for clarification on what happened, Liam takes advantage of the distraction. He leans into Harry whispering in passing.

“You absolutely should not be here.”

Harry smirks. He then goes toward the men’s room saying to his client he’s going to wash his hands. His client nods as he’s on his phone listening to what can only be a complicated conflict he’s cause at any expense for sake of seeing Harry.

Harry is about to enter the men’s room when Liam breaks form for his role as maitre’d and says forcefully enough for those around to notice. “Harry no! It’s out of order! Um, just wait, a few minutes!” Heads turn to look at Liam’s atypical, loud behavior. 

Harry smirks again. He flips off Liam in a swift move that only Liam sees. Harry steps into the room.

A restaurant like this alway has a palatial bathroom. This one is the gold standard of that. It’s walls, ceiling, floor are made of marble. It’s got chairs for lounging. Usually it has an attendant there, oddly not tonight. Very odd. The attendant is about a thousand years old and reliable because at his age what else does he have to do other than sit here and wait to hand people fresh towels? He’s also a person Harry genuinely likes because he’s never said or acted toward Harry like Harry is a whore. Nope. He treats Harry with the respect as any other patron and he kindly calls Harry “son”. That is unless another patron is using the men’s room then he goes to calling Harry “sir” which is the standard practice. 

What is the out of order that Liam referred to? There’s nothing unusual. 

Oh, or is there?

You would think if persons were fucking in one of the enclosed stalls the attendant would be essential to standing outside to send away patrons. That how it’s worked at these nicer places for Harry when a quickie is called for. But no Payne’s employee is keeping anyone out, unless that was to be Liam’s job.

Harry stands at the sink. Washes his hands as a way to politely announce to the couple in the stall that he’s in the room. Harry’s hand-washing goes unnoticed by them. Must be too quiet to hear over their noises.

Visible to Harry through the reflection in the mirror because there is a foot of gap at floor and stall wall is one set of feet still clad in shoes, surrounded by pants bunched at the man’s ankles. The walls of the stalls are granite and solid. It’s good because this fucking that’s happening in that stall so intense. It sounds like it has the all the hallmarks of hate-sex.

Harry notices another thing about this pair. Fingers are griping the top of the granite where the side wall of the stall ends. Based on that, and that there are only one set of feet on the floor. Harry knows the fuckee is being held up against a wall, not bent over, this pair is probably face to face. Harry personally likes the bent over, traditional way, but not when facing a toilet, so. To each his/ her own.

Each thrust the Standing Man gives his partner he announces by doing a guttural sound first, which is a sure sign of how hard he is fucking the ever living hell out of his prize. After his grunt he accompanies his trust with a pulse of words.

So it goes. From Standing Man, the guttural noise, then he grows, “Fucking tight as shit, always so tight,”

Next thrusts starts again with a guttural noise, follows with, “little thing so wet with me fucking your pussy,”

Harry hears that disrespectful narrative, he treats this as another day at the office for a prostitue such as himself. He adjust his suit, his tie, he slaps on some of the expensive cologne Payne’s has sitting on the sink for patrons to use. He shouldn’t feel about this pair like he does but he actually enjoys that there are men who like to fuck women like this guy is doing. It’s a twisted emotion, but Harry has been on the receiving end of brutal sex enough that sharing the load, literally, amuses him. He continues to linger purely for enjoying what Harry knows must means he’s a little broken to view someone else’s disadvantage as his amusement. 

Another thrust after the guttural noise. Standing Man must be pounding like one massively forcible, brutal guy. He sheds light on why. “..followed his eyes as he went to looking longingly at your pretty mouth,” 

He growls more words on the next thrust, “got an idea, he did, that maybe your pink lips on his cock would be good,”

The next words, thrust, follows quicker than previous, “you gave him a fucking smile!”

That statement seems to snap the cadence of the thrusts into another gear. The way Standing Man said “you”, dripped with his distain about a smile. 

The fingers holding the top of the stall disappear verifiying that the Standing Man is clearly doing the Fuck-of-Fury. Maybe she, who Standing Man is fucking, has to hold onto Standing Man differently? The sound of them fills the room with anger-vibe such that Harry has to consider, maybe he should actually step up to help her? It’s clear she has released the wall which helped her with the aggressive style of dicking, but did she give out because she is completely wrecked and he’s still not stopping? 

Standing man’s feet positions shift around confirming that he’s got his lover being fully held in his arms. Clearly he is too anger driven to stop himself, not until he comes. He takes her from wall to wall, even slamming her back against the door a trust or two. This is unbridled hate sex, violent, unforgiving. 

Harry about to say something to stop this intensity when he hears the noises that say the Standing Man is finally coming as he’s perhaps muffled his face against her probably limp body. Maybe this is helping his hold so he can do his nastiest, likely spilling deep in her. His next words make Harry freeze.

Stopping Harry in his tracks are the words that follow the sound of Standing Man’s moans as he ejaculates. 

“Tiny boy. Tiny. Yet your bum is so full and plush, it is the only thing I have to struggle to hold easily about you in two of my hands. Cute, pixie that you are, you make them come to you. They want your milkshake. Your lips...you had the audacity, you smiled at that man. You smiled and he couldn’t control himself, he touched your carmel-colored fringe right front of me, right in front of my face, in front of the entire restaurant cause he couldn’t resist his burning desire to have you.”

Tiny? Plush bum? Cute pixie? Carmel-colored fringe...Louis?

Harry runs into one of the other stalls furthest from theirs slamming its door shut just before bends over the toilet and vomits.

The fucking is over and the Standing Man’s focus is restored to normal. The boy, it’s a boy, not a woman, whimpers softly. Do they both hear Harry now that the deed is done? 

“Shhh. Pussy boy.” Standing Man says confirming he’s aware they were not alone and in so confirming the one who was holding onto the stall wall for as long as possible while being fucked is a male.

It’s quiet as Harry tries to hold back his nausea. Then Standing man speaks. “Hello?” 

Harry is vomiting again. Not like he did earlier with Niall but like actual vomit. 

“Our sir, apologies, for our behavior, I’m sure you have found my activities here unsettling. I assure you though, really. It’s okay. Just taking care of my little cock-loving whore. Whores don’t matter. He allowed another man to look upon him and smiled. Allowed himself to be touched by that man, not his daddy.”


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Harry lingers after the assault on Louis hoping to make a connection until rain forces him to leave with nothing more than sorrow.

Harry has no chance of stopping his body from purging now. Clearly Standing Man only thinks the person, Harry, who he doesn’t see but hears, became sicken in disgust over discovering people in a classy restaurant having sex in a men’s room. If only he knew what Harry knows. How may times Harry has fucked, been fucked in a bathroom. Men will fuck anywhere given a chance, classy or seedy if they want it bad enough.

As Harry’s sick again he hears their door unlatch, they seem to move to the extensive counter/ sink area. Harry isn’t hearing anything from the bottom, the boy, but he hears other after sex sounds. He hears sounds of clothing rustling and shuffling, some water running, towels tossed into the hamper like someone is cleaning and dressing someone. The silence from the bottom is disturbing. 

Harry is at a point of only able to do dry heaves when the door opens to the men’s room and two voices join Standing Man and the bottom. Both are familiar voices to Harry because of his frequent patronage at Payne’s. Liam’s Uncle and the men’s room attendant have entered.

The uncle speaks first. “Tomlinson! I told you you were not to do this shit in here again! I told you when you came in earlier and said your parking spot out back was taken that we would have the offending car towed, to be patient. I told you that the attendant would see to the valet moving your Bentley from the patron parking to your spot for you.”

The attendant speaks next, “Sir your car is ready whenever you are, right where it’s suposed to be.” The way the old man speaks is respectful and has none of the frustration of Payne’s voice. It’s also clear he’s not giving any consideration to a scene that most would call terribly wrong. 

Standing Man, or Hathaway Tomlinson, gives a flippant retort. “Kind late Payne. See the guy sat at the table next to ours tonight decided he fancied my son here, touched him on the face, right in front of me. The taste of your food went dead to me. You guaranteed not to interfere if I never took this approach in your bathroom but you failed to keep your bargain tonight. After that man touched my property, I had to act.”

The attendant says something about gettting some ice, “...for the lad” but Hathaway shuts him down.

“No need. I’ll put him in the car. He’s not going to sit for days now anyway. He’s not going back to the table with me. He’ll sleep me off. Send my plate back and see to it that I get a fresh meal. I’d like to send the touchy bastard at the table next to me a clear message when I go back to finish eating.”

This has Payne objecting. Not about the plate, they were taken Payne’s tells him. Hath can have a fresh meal, Payne adds, “but we’ve had enough unreasonable disruptions caused by our clientele tonight. A regular chased off another guest for dinner tonight, it’s was a less regular patron who apparently did it only to demand take that table for he and his date. To make it worse he turns out to have shown up wth that leggy escort, the one with the berry lips and the long curls. Adding to the carnival of chaos, the escort then completely disappeared on him so now the patron is publicly fuming at his table where he is sat alone. It’s ruining dining experiences of those around him. At this rate I’m going to be comping more diners that I get paid for! So being the great Hathaway Tomlinson or not, you are not having a conflict with another patron. Not in my establishment. Not tonight! Now get your son off my counter, take him out through the back and if you stay on to dine, be a gentleman.”

Standing mans’s son? It sounds like within a minute everyone has left except the attendant. Harry hears him cleaning up from the assault. Harry steps out of the stall. 

Seeing how he looks the old man immediately slides a heavy, ornate chair over to Harry directing him to sit, calling him “son”. 

“I’m sorry, so you heard all that? Did he see you when you came in?” Harry appreciates this kindness. He sees his reflection and knows he looks unuaslly pale and not fit. He was gorgeous when he walked in, something about so much unsettling exposure has him ruined.

“No, they were in a stall when I entered.” Harry says laying his hands over his face and feeling sick again. “So that was father and son? Really? And this sort of thing goes on and nobody speak out?”

The old man hands Harry a cool wet towel before he goes on cleaning up. “Son, you of all people know someone being rich doesn’t make them above acting like filth. Someone being educated doesn’t make them right.”

Harry is shaking when he hands the towel back to the old man. “Thank you for your kindness. Sort of don’t believe a boy that rich, delicate, seems sweet too, could be abused and no one says anything to stop it. What about Liam? He must know.”

The attendant looks scared to say anything about Liam, the owner’s nephew. What should he say? He chooses to shake his head and make a ticking noise. 

Harry sits in silence then for a minute or two before he asks. “So can you have Liam tell my date I had to leave because of a sudden virus, something like that. Apologies, I’ll call and reshcedule? Oh, and also, can I leave out through the back? It’s not good for my business to be seen looking like this.”

The attendant nods. He offers some unsolicited advice. “Yes, I can do that, and you can leave through the kitchen, but son, you deserve a better business than this plan you have now. Go on, I’ll see to it that Liam gives the message to the gentleman.”

***

Harry slips through the kitchen. He’s sure his client is furious at this moment but he can’t care if it’s awkward for Liam. He so mad at Liam he can’t image anything other than the emotion of rage.

He steps our th back door and takes two steps down the back stairs before he sees it.

The fucking blue Bentley. It’s in this rear lot which is reserved for employees but the spot is marked with a sign bearing two words; “Reserved”. “Tomlinson”.

Seeing the car dampens Harry’s anger and he runs to it with a surge he can’t define filling his senses. The car is naturally dark. It’s night, the lights in the rear lot are fewer than public parking.

Harry tries to open the rear door but all the doors are clearly locked. There is a form laying on the back seat but there is no movement as Harry pounds on the window. Harry feels the seams of the windows in case one is open a little. He tries opening the trunk. He’s not sure you can access a car’s interior through a trunk but he saw that in a movie once. The entire time he’s saying “Louis” hoping it’s soft enough to not draw attention should a kitchen worker step out to put a bag of trash in the bin, but loud enough make Louis wake.

Louis doesn’t stir.

Harry uses his phone flashlight to shine in. Louis remains deathly still. He doesn’t flinch with the light. He just stays in a tiny ball looking a lot like those little kittens that Niall saved. Harry stands there and he cries. It’s maybe five minutes of crying before he realizes he’s crying for Louis and for someone else too.

Himself. 

This has never happened before. Not since he went to the streets. Not once did he ever cry. Not about the homelessness, the suffering of missing his family, not about the first time when a man took him because he was a “street rat”, nor about after that, the first time he gave himself away to a man for a single plate of food. The closest Harry ever came to crying before now was for his roommate. She had a thing go bad with a client and nearly didn’t make it home because of her injuries. Taking care of her for the days, the week to follow, made him cry for her. But since he’s only seen Louis so few times, actually, here in the dining room of Payne’s and at the park, why is Louis so profoundly important to him? Important enough to cry for.

“Louis? Louis? Please wake. Please. Let me in, no, let me take you out of there, away from here...Louis?”

A fear creeps into Harry. Is Louis dead? Why is he still not moving at all? It sends Harry back into tears as he stands there leaning on the car, face buried in his arm that lays on the windshield which affords him the best look at Louis. As if the gods feel his pain and join his sorrow a soft rain starts.

Soon Harry is soaked.

A kitchen staff steps out to dump trash. Seeing Harry as this unrecognizable figure leaning of a pampered client’s car he begins shouting at Harry. Harry is glad the rain makes him hard to recognize, but this does force him to go home. 

He walks. It’s a long walk.

He’s ruined 800$ shoes. His silk shirt will be fine, the suit he’s not sure. He doesn’t care. He goes to sleep with a restlessness that only lets him go when it’s nearly morning.

***

Harry sleeps for two days. Somehow he missed several calls from Liam, starting the night at the restaurant when Louis was assaulted there. By the time the call was made to Harry it’s clear it was when Liam would have just left work. Harry missed many other texts from Liam too in his sleep. One from Zayn too. Also missed? Several clients calls and somewhere on the order of twenty messages in both formats from Charles Anderson, the man he made get them a table at Payne’s only to ditch.

He tries Liam first. No answer.

He calls Zayn. No answer. Zayn at least quickly texts back the why with two explanatory words “wet paint”. Harry knows what this means. Zayn cant stop mid-painting no more than Harry would be able to pick up mid-fuck. Work is work.

Finally Harry decides to call Anderson. Anderson picks up first ring. “Styles you owe me. Owe me big.”

Harry uses his deep, sultry voice in these situations. He knows it’s effect on them, the desirous. “Oh I know, I know, don’t worry. I got a big one for you.”

“Shut it Harry, I don’t want your tricks! You don’t understand what I did to have you the other night? What I did and the trouble it made for me! Put important people out of Payne’s so you can have a prime rib and champagne and I never even got you on your knees for me!”

“I was sick. You don’t want me like I was. I know how you want me. In those pink undies with the lace cutting into my hips while I f u c k y o u, your nipples pinned with clamps so it pleasure and pain. All that after I’ve sucked you hard so you squeal for it when I plow into you because you can’t wait anymore. Then when you come you want to rip off my panties, tie my hands with their spreads and suck me off. I know, I know. You want it like that.”

Harry knows he has the man hard by his dirty narrative. Anderson can’t ever decide if he wants to be fucked or be dominant, but he’s basically an easy job. 

“I need you here, now Harry. In my office. Forget the panties. I want to be in that tiny hole of yours, fucking you. And...I want you raw.”

Harry sits up straight. “I don’t do raw. You know that. You want me to come to your office? Fine. I’ll be there in 20.” Harry’s voice deepens more. He doesn’t like threats. “Now you listen since your being a dick. Look for me to be wearing a suit jacket, and those panties under it and nothing else other than stelletos, but I’ll have a box of condoms in my hand. Use them or get nothing.”

Harry hears a whimpering noise. It would be the sound of negotiations won by Harry. The response comes in a voice with concession and pleading. “Be here in twenty. Wear clothes for god’s sake. I got people here, a barrister coming to deal with the problems our meeting the other night at Payne’s made for me.”

*** 

Harry arrives to the office building that houses many investment firms, a few law offices, Anderson’s wealth management firm. Harry takes the elevator to the floor of Anderson’s office. He walks in to reception where the two women working the front are set well back because the entry space sets the stage for what kind of money the client’s serviced must have. With so much space the couches and chairs for waiting clients are well out of the path to the receptions desk. Harry walks with purpose maintaining eye contact with one of the women. Both are stunning looking. Both never take their eyes off Harry though, because he’s far more the beauty than they. 

At the desk he runs a hand through his long hair for effect as he leans on the desk which has one woman’s jaw dropping. It also has his slightly less-buttoned sheer shirt pull open more, allowing his long necklass to secure the women’s attention on his chest, some tattoos, his skin, “I'm here for Mr Anderson. Harry, Harry Styles. He’s expecting me.”

It takes a second for one of these receptionist to snap her gapping mouth shut and speak. “Oooh, okay. Um, but can you wait? I’m sorry but his counsel just stopped by, it’s a crisis. Can you wait a few minutes for him? Please.”

Harry is chewing gum and he pauses before answering just for effect because now he feels they are both staring at his lips. He wants to give them that moment before he’ll smile and oblige. “Sure, for you, I can wait.”

The women blush. One of them drops her coffee she was just starting to sip. The other woman jumps up to grab a box of tissues to stop her coworker’ spill from flooding everywhere. She is flustered by how they are falling over for Harry so she directs Harry with a gesture. 

“Have a seat? Please”

Harry smiles at them as he turns aware they will immediately check out his arse, but then...

...turning to the seating he discovers he’s not alone in the waiting area. 

On a couch, paused in reading a magazine, looking small and fragile is none other than Louis Tomlinson. Louis was watching Harry the entire time Harry unraveled the two women’s composure. Being so quiet, and ...tiny, he had gone unnoticed. When Harry eyes land on him he smiles. It’s a differ than the smile Harry’s seen before, it’s a sweet smile, but very demure. Nothing like the cheeky smile Harry got when they encounter each other at the park. It’s not a freely given smile like the first one he gave Harry the first time the saw each other at Payne’s. 

No. It’s controlled. Very measured and restrained..

“Harry?”

“Louis?”

Harry hasn’t a clue how he got to sitting beside Louis. He thinks he floated there. He is however sat right beside the one he’s been seeking in this of all places, the reception of a wealth management firm. 

Louis’ smile was pulled back by Harry being in such close proximity. Further showing his trepidation he’s turned his eyes to his feet looking at the magazine the fell to the floor between them. He makes no move even to pick it up. Instead he tucks his hands between his knees and closes them on his hands. On his face there is a dark bruise on one cheekbone. Harry knows how that bruise happens. It’s from taking a hard slap. Harry’s guess that happen the instant that Louis was behind the doors of the men’s room at Payne’s before he was assaulted sexually by his father.

Louis rocks like he knows Harry is studying the bruise. He doesn’t make eye contact though, he just states his lie. “Took an elbow to the face playing football.”

Harry’s sure the playing of football hasn’t been a thing. Can Louis walk normally yet? Maybe, but not pain free.

“So at that park, the same one as the other day then? Did you see our friend Liam?”

More nervousness seeps from Louis. “Different park, haven’t seen Liam since that day we met when he had the ice cream he was giving out to kids.”

That statement was started into with a vague, non answer. It ended with another blatant lie since Louis had to of seen Liam at Payne’s. Liam was maitre’d. Louis was eating when a man touched him. That’s when he was pulled into private by his father and raped. Louis doesn’t know Harry was there in the very room, clearly, and yet he’s so nervous it’s oozing off him.

Harry sits back thinking if he crowds Louis less Louis might relax a little. “So you know Louis, technically we have never properly met. We saw each other last month at Payne’s. We started to meet at that park when Liam broguht the ice cream, but technically we’ve not really met.

It’s then that Harry extends his hand. Louis sees it and his eyes widen but he smiles and pushes on rather than withdraw. He stops staring at his feet turning to look at Harry. To Harry it’s like next couple seconds are in super slow motion. Louis keeps his eyes on Harry, the smile Harry made him give by this ploy has induced crinkles around Louis’ cerluean eyes that sparkle with the idea of Harry’s point of view. As Louis’ hand goes to accept Harry’s the sensation must be somewhat like the electric connection it makes in Harry because with their touch Louis looks at their hands while his other hand goes to cover his mouth like he’s astonished by the feel of this touch.

Eyes darting back to Harry’s he says, “Nice to actually meet you Harry, your, your hand is so soft.”

Harry wants to say how Louis’ is so delicate, tiny, but he knows the two women are watching them. He doesn’t want to be seen as flirting with Louis. 

The wisdom of that is brilliant. In response to nothing Harry had yet to detect Louis suddenly pulls away and jumps up to stand. All that sparkly, pretty glow that was between them evaporates. Louis’ face goes concerned and he gets more distance backing away from Harry. The voices announce who it is before the two men become visible. Walking out from the back offices is Harry’s client along with Hath Tomlinson who Anderson is seeing to the front as they are still in conversation. Louis looks around while looking down, he seems to want more space between he and Harry. Harry gives him that just seconds before two absorbed men look up from talk to see the two of them. 

Hath stops. He’s arrested by Harry’s presence. It’s not the normal arrest Harry creates in men. His glare at Harry says he’s immediately disatisfied a man in so close to his boy.

Hath is tall, big in stature. He’s takes vet few strides to cross a large space because of his imposing stature. He snatches Louis by the bicep when he closes the gap and sets himself between Harry and Louis studying how this effects Harry.

Harry stays his ground, stays chill, finches not at a very decidedly non verbal alpha male territorial display intended to threat.

Anderson is catching a note of some drama. How could he not? As Hath stares down Harry, his hand fisting Louis’ bicep tightly such that Louis caves a little to that side while keeping quiet, Anderson clarifies. “Barrister Tomlinson, I see that your son Louis has met my...”

Harry gets a chuckle out of this, Anderson’s what?

“...my um, my my new intern. Right. Harry here is, is...my new intern.”

Harry has no idea how anyone will believe he is an intern. Sure he’s dressed nice. But business nice, no. Getting laid nice? Yes.

Hath hasn’t loosened his grip on Louis. Louis goes to put an hand on Hath’s to try to loosen it and he actually starts to tear unable to loosen the grip.

“Intern? Is that what we’re calling them now?” Hath scoffs staring at Harry until he’s finished the insult. Then he looks at Anderson, “Keep hiring ‘interns’ like this one and you’ll be hiring me to clean up your mess at work just like the mess I’m fixing that you made at the restaurant the other night.” 

Hath jerks on Louis so that he pulls Louis off balance. Louis yelps. It makes Hath set an arm around Louis’ waist to keep Louis closer still to him but free from the bruising arm grip. They exit. 

The two receptionist are puzzled. Keeping quiet about the weird exchange. Certainly all of what they saw, heard, will make for office gossip. Anderson looks embarrassed. Maybe because he lies badly. 

Harry keeps driving him his status as not anyone’s whipping boy. He has to keep his clients begging so they don’t expect they can treat him like Hath treats Louis. “Well boss, can I call you that, where do you want me to start working under you?” 

That odd phrase should cement the gossip.


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Enters Zayn whose gallery showing gives Harry his first glimpse of Louis since the asalt at Payne’s.

Harry’s not looking forward to his evening. 

His booking? An Italian art collector with demanding Middle Eastern and Asian clients who have deep pockets. Their arrogance rubs off on their collector for hire so he can be a brute when he feels like he’s not going to make money. He buys a night with Harry even if he doesn’t know when or if he can afford another one. That makes this night a risk. The client will really need to buy the right pieces.

Getting confirmation from Giovanni that it’s Zayn’s latest opening they are attending, as Harry hoped, changes the outlook for Harry. It’s much improved. Harry knows if Zayn’s opening delivers something like Zayn usually does, Harry’s client should acquire the rigth art for his clients. In turn Giovanni will be content that he will make big money, he won’t be a total prick, or want to treat Harry like Harry is his bitch.

Typically Harry doesn’t care if the client wants him to top or bottom, just as long as there is respect. Giovanni is just moody and unpredictable. 

***

Entering the gallery a transformation is instant. Energy of the creative infuses the air. Music pulses, not like at a music club because Zayn’s style is more nuanced. So is his music at his openings. Lights are amber, soft, but revealing on the individual art pieces.

People are standing around, cocktails in hand are, as a rule, the people at the opening are gorgeous. Harry’s sure many of them are simply friends of a Zayn’s. One reason Harry never pursued Zayn for a anything beyond friendship is that he knows Zayn’s type. It’s not Harry.

Within minutes of entering the gallery Harry is already earning his keep. Eyes are on instantly directed at Harry. Women and men alike. This makes Giovanni stay close though the man has work to do giving focus to each piece of Zayn’s art. It makes an impression on him as well when Zayn breaks from a crowd around him when he sees Harry. 

Zayn goes right to Harry, boldly calls out Harry’s name, hugs Harry like the best, oldest of friends. Without looking Harry knows this makes impact on his client. 

Having much of Zayn’s time, with many others wanting to talk to the artist is a challenge. Giovanni decides to wander around and look at the art to take a proper inspection of Zayn’s work while Zayn engages many fans as he remains in place hanging on Harry like Harry is a convenient prop. 

Once Giovanni leaves the room where Harry and Zayn are to go into the next room of the formal gallery space Zayn pulls Harry aside, like totally aside. Zayn ditches everyone else, clearly his plan, reason for keeping his arm over Harry’s shoulder is to get Harry alone. He takes Harry into a room off of the formal gallery room. The small room appears to be an office, or, maybe an overflow space because it’s a total mess.

Alone together Zayn drops his artist persona.

“Arreh, mate! Been too long! Glad you made it.” Zayn hugs Harry again more fully, slapping Harry’s back before he steps back and takes a deep breath to take a good look at Harry. 

Harry was agreeing about the “too long” comment before he gets that this isn’t random urge to slip away from the crowd for a brief bromance. “..so, good showing, good crowd. Models everywhere,”

“Yeah, s’its good, real good. Got two pieces sold already and the opening isn’t even an hour into the night. Harry, I don’t ask you in here to tell you how I’m doing. Liam spoke to me...how are you?”

“Me? Great, really great. What does Liam have to do with anything?”

There’s a knock on the door. A knock and then it opens a little with out wait. Niall sticks his head in. The always gregarious one says “You two need to be alone in here or is this possibly a three way?”

Zayn laughs at Niall and pulls him in, closing the door after quickly looking to see if anyone has noticed where the three have disappeared to. Once Niall is in the room the mood shifts. 

It’s less rainbows and butterflies. More like parent teacher conference at primary school.

“Did you tell him?” Niall asks Zayn.

“No, just s’bout.”

“Tell me what?” Harry asks. Suddenly he’s at the wrong party he thinks, because this is odd. Even for Odd Niall. Who, incidentally, is not wearing a duster over his clothes for once. Harry thinks this is the first time he’s seen Niall without the coat other than when they got back to Niall’s that night and were playing FIFA.

“Harry,” Niall says like he’s about to say something awful. “Louis is here,”

Both of them are prepared to stop Harry from bursting out of the room as he jumps to move saying “Where?” 

Harry makes for the door. They are able to stop him.

“Wait, Harry, wait,” Niall says. “Listen, Liam told us about what happened the other night, at Payne’s. You need to know. It will happen again, Hath, him, like at the restaurant, if you go bursting out of here, decide to be fawning over him with googely-eyes and all that. Harry. You have to keep your distance.”

Zayn nods a rapid agreement when Harry looks to Zayn with disbelief like how the fuck can Niall be saying this. Zayn lights a cigarette which is Zayn’s go-to under stress. Who really gives a fuck because it’s clear, Liam is not alone; Niall and Zayn have the same picture of Louis’ abusive situation and the same acceptance.

“What!?!” Harry hits a wall with fist. “What? Are you saying? Keep my distance? Or what? Or he gets raped in the bathroom and nobody cares to speak out? Is that what you’re saying? Really?”

“It’s not like that Harry,” Niall calls to deaf ears as Harry bolts from the room. Zayn trails Harry with a desperate sounding “Wait, Harry, wait!” He is cut off before he can pursue Harry by a crowd that swarms him a upon reappearance.

With blood rage in his eyes Harry makes his way through the crowd, the gallery. There are a series of rooms, so the overall space is segmented like a museum. In his recklessness he knocks into a roaming waitress with a tray of champagne. Her initial anger is erased immediately when she sees how beautiful the careless offender is, but Harry doesn’t stay long enough after causing the spill to hear her offer to bring him something “special” when she goes to get refills for her dumped tray as if she was at fault.

Making it to the last room of the chambered gallery Harry stops abruptly. Arrested. There in the back of the room, a smaller, quieter room of art, is Louis. Louis is standing with three young women. Like so many girls here, the women, in their younger twenties, look like models. While the women are talking animatedly Louis looks to be listening to them with a bemused expression as he sips his nonalcoholic drink. Even beside their beauty Louis is, in his own right, the most stunning piece of art in the entire gallery. 

His hair is styled into a messy look so his fringe has maximum playful effect. The bruise on his cheekbone has diminished, though Harry can’t tell from this far if it’s because of makeup. For certain his cheekbones look highlighted, so perhaps he has some touching up to hide the blemish. His attire is perfect for his shape, it too, like his hair playful; a mix of casual and posh. 

He’s wearing tight, skinny, black jeans. The hem is rolled showing that his feet in his leather dress shoes are sockless so his ankles are exposed. It’s arousing to Harry to think about naked ankles, at least Louis’ ankles being bare. Of all things, Harry imagines he’d even like the chance to kiss Louis there. 

Also mixing formal and casual is how Louis has paired a very non traditional, but tailored suit jacket with a tee shirt underneath. The cut of the jacket can only work for a person with Louis’ shape; his curviness, a tiny waist, a full booty make the jacket work on him unlike other men. The color of the fabric of the jacket is amazing for Louis’ skin tone. It also ties in the brown dress shoes and the black jeans because it’s black with a tiny shimmer, or cast of brown that only strikes you in the right lighting. But what makes the entire thing is the tee shirt Louis is wearing. Louis’ jacket isn’t buttoned, it reveals the deep red tee with a loose neck style. So it is that the shirt reveals one thing more alluring than Louis’ bare ankles. 

Exposed collarbones. 

Harry knows more than a few things about dressing to look like sex without looking cheap. Louis standing across the room in his androgynous mix of feminine and boyishness dress is the epidiamy of how to wear expensive sexy attire discreetly. His look compels other’s to come into personal space. Maybe touch even, just to use feel to assess if this pixie is real. 

Verifying that effect, two of the women with Louis are constantly touching him in that way people do when they have sexual attraction to someone. It’s probably just like the type of thing that some man did in front of Hath thereby setting off a rage, but obviously Louis isn’t the slightest flustered or concerned by these girls patting him, or letting a hand linger on him a second or two longer than normal. He’s just amused at their banter. Sipping his drink. 

Louis is taking yet another sip of his drink when he looks toward Harry seeing him for the first time. That’s it, their eyes set exclusively on each other’s and Louis smiles. 

It’s the birthday smile. Cerulean eyes delighted. 

Harry heart skips a beat. He is about to go forward when Louis nonverbally directs him. 

Louis steps back with one small step as his eyes divert to the side of the room, a place somewhat distant from his spot and where Harry is currently standing. Harry follows the direction. It’s Hath that Louis directed Harry’s attention to. Hath is standing off a way from Louis and the young women talking with, as luck would or would not have it, Hath is talking to Harry’s client, art collector Giovanni Labruska. 

Harry looks back at Louis and Louis nods. Like to say, “You got that?” Louis’ don't-come-to-me suggestion is soothed by another smile for Harry. Seeing Louis smile at someone other than the three blathering women cause the to pause their conversation to look at who has Louis’ interest. They see it’s Harry, their mouths drop, they turn back to Louis in what can only be a flurry of “Who’s that!?” 

It appears Louis shrugs an “I don’t know.” The women go back to chatting after another quick glance at Harry. 

Harry knows Louis won’t give him an opening to join the four even though his guarded glances stolen Harry’s way scream he wants to, to know Harry more, it’s a risk he can’t. 

If Harry can’t go to him, he can’t come to Harry, Harry has a bold plan. 

Harry strides up to his date making his reunion with Giovanni a blatant statement that they are “a date” as it shocks Hathaway for a split second. Giovanni doesn’t object to Harry’s overtly couply reappearance. Harry knew he wouldn’t. If he wanted to hide his orientation he’d maybe not bring the most distinctively eye-catching beauty he could to escort in party to be sure people noticed them. 

Giovanni has no sooner begun introductions than Hath interupts, “Introductions not necessary, we’ve met, haven’t we? How is that internship going?” 

The word “internship” is said with maximum effort to make the effect that Anderson’s lie was a bad covered what Harry does for him. It’s so laiden with distain that Harry can’t resist shoving back, not be trumped by Hathaway’s game. 

“Working under Anderson can be a pain in the arse, but I’ve had worse. Are you, by any chance asking because you’re looking for...an intern. For under you, I mean?.” 

It’s a direct hit. Hath’s face gets red. Harry’s delighted. He doubles down. 

“I could work, under you any night if you like.” Harry made sure to anuciate “under you” the exact same way Hath said the word “internship”. He gives absolutely zero fucks how much he makes Hathaway angry at him. Maybe other people can tip-toe around Hathaway, but Harry can’t. Not when Hathaway is doing what he clearly has been doing to Louis.

Tension is high, Giovanni thinks Harry is just seeking more business when Louis comes to join them. Harry sees him first so Harry gets a smile, shy, but warm. When Giovanni and Hath turn aware Harry’s look at Louis has lost the smile. In its place is some blank expression. 

With Louis coming to join them Harry can see that for sure the bruise is ever present, made-over. It makes everything about Louis’ delicateness more pronounced. He slides close to his father and looks at him to read the man’s disposition. 

For a split second Hary regrets spinning up Hath because the elevated discontent he made is detected by Louis immediately because Louis has a tellingly-strange body language, like when a dog submissively hangs their head to the side until the alpha accepts them without aggression. 

The regret is tossed aside because Giovanni being a presumptive brute, arrogant, talking without thinking, blurts out his assumptions. 

“Oh, I see Harry your out of luck here, Mr Tomlinson has his own twink it appears.” Giovanni’s happiness for his failed cleverness isn’t ignored; simultaneously Louis gets rigid, Hath gets even more red-faced. 

“Twink?” Hathaway spits, “sir, I don’t believe you’ve met my son, Louis, Louis Tomlinson, who’d I rather not have deviants like yourself labeling.” 

Hath takes Louis by the arm, again far more aggressively than needed. “Come, my son. Better I get you home.” 

Harry wants there to be something to stop them. If he could only study Louis from afar for the whole night. If he could know that what happens at home won’t be what Louis suffered the other night...if. 

...if he could only understand, as Harry trails them making a slow passing through the crowd he has all these questions while Louis, dragged behind Hath by one hand, uses his lack of need to look where he’s going to look back and find Harry fighting his way through what is a very packed crowd at art the gallery opening of Zayn’s work to follow them. 

And Louis does it. He again fives Harry that smile. His free hand makes a hand gesture. It’s “slow-down”. Or something like that. Harry shakes his head “no”. Another gesture. Oh, he gets it. Stay. Yes. Harry thinks it’s stay. Don’t follow. 

Harry is ready to run over anyone with that because no, he doesn’t want to stay. Watch as Louis is drug away. Taken home for who knows what. When Harry is about about to push on ahead through the last of the thickest grouping of gallery patrons he is grabbed by someone. 

. It’s Niall. Niall and two pints, both brimming. How the leprechaun can mage to not spill a drop among all these bodies is amazing. But he does. 

“Arry, hey, mate, where you going?” 

Harry looks outside just as a blue Bentley pauses just off the pedestrian walk in front of the door and both Hath and Louis take the back seat. Like that Louis is gone. Harry turns back to Niall. “He’s gone. Niall, Louis is gone. I was trying to go after him. Why did you have to stop me?” 

Niall looks maybe somewhat hurt at the harshness to Harry’s voice. Niall’s hurt is gone in a split second as his face brightens with a thought. Can Niall say anything to make this better? Harry wonders as he hang on a tread. Really...like what? 

“So he is, but Harry what were you going to do? Can’t confront Hathaway and make it better for Louis. Or do you want to make it worse? But you know what you can do, mate? Meet me at the park tomorrow.” Niall says turning to walk away form Harry, back into the thick of the crowd doing an incomprehensibly good job of not spilling a drop of his two beers. 

Harry shouts to Niall over the noise. “And do what Niall? Help with more kitten rescues?” It’s more primadona than Harry meant before it left his mouth, but it’s out. So. 

Niall makes a face at Harry in his brief turn to reply. “No. I was thinking we could watch a game. Seems golf is on tomorrow and s o m e o n e will be at the park, he’s playing football. I’ll text you times, Princess, and don’t be such a twat next time.”


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After the game at the park Harry meets “the boyfriend”.

Harry has only a few hours of sleep when he gets a text from Niall because the latter part of his evening with Giovanni was...rigorous.

“Awake Princess?”

Harry throws off his bed covers, replies with a sudden wakefulness. “When?”

“Tee time for them is eleven. Me, Zayn and the fair Louis will be at the park minutes after they go to the golf course, meet us there about 10?”

***

Harry isn’t sure what to wear to a park. He actually can’t remember being at a park, like during the day, as a chosen activity, but then there were sometimes early on working as a prostitute, when he was new, that he sucked off men in the park. That was always after dark. 

Arriving before ten, he finds there Harry finds there are several football games on-going. Families with kids, pets, blanklets spread out everywhere littler avainlbe green space. Baskets of food being are shared. It’s so very Pleasantville, so to Harry it feels sort of odd. 

And yet very comforting. He’d like to be one of those families. Sharing baskets of food, maybe something he baked himself, for his partner, their children. Maybe they would have a big, fluffy family dog, like the curly haired black one with the white markings that runs past him as it’s pursuing in play by a boy calling out “Buddy, come, let’s play frisbee!”. 

Making it over to a pitch at the northwest pitch, which is where Niall said Louis team is playing, Harry regrets his clothing. He’s in casual jeans - stylishly ripped out at the knees - a short sleeve, button down shirt with a floral print so that he can have a little chest exposed by leaving at least one too many buttons strategically undone. Aa black fedora and dark sunglasses complete the look ting in his black paddock boots, designer made, of course. Is the fedora too much? He wonders. 

Before he can rethink his clothing he hears Zayn call to him. “Aarreh!”

And Niall shouts, “Oi!”

Both are dressed very casual. Simple shorts and tee shirts. Suddenly Harry really regrets his fedora, but Zayn and Niall treat him like what he wears doesn’t matter, it is a park for fuck-sake, not a fashion show. They lead him to where they are wanting to sit. Other friends of Louis’ teammates are on this side of the pitch. Everyone is friendly upon meeting Harry. Nobody seems to care that he looks a little like a fashion-fan more than a sports-fan. They are genuinely nice. Suddenly Harry feels like this is what life is like among normal people. People who didn’t grow up on the streets but the kind of people who live in houses or not, do normal things, have normal jobs and friends.

After introductions Harry instantaneously picks out Louis. The game hasn’t started yet. Players are warming up. 

Louis is clearly the smallest one on the team. Also the one who has the best flexibility. His pregame stretching makes Harry hard. It’s when the team takes the field Harry shuts down his erotica fantasies that absorbed him while watching Louis stretch. He scopes out how Louis is as a member of a team.

Simply stated, Louis is a magnet. Anyone making a good play wants Louis to be a part of that recognition, his teammates all want him to see or acknowledge their playing. Indeed Louis’ teammates can’t seem to resist touching Louis if they get his attention when in close proximity. Someone is always petting him, patting his bum, slapping it whenever an occasion arises. Louis always giggles and goes about like their touchiness with him is nothing extraordinary. Zayn and Niall with their eyes on the pitch constantly while they talk never give an indication this favoritism-petting of Louis by his teammates is unusal. 

There are a couple other things Harry notices as he intently watches the game. Given that Louis a defensive player, one would think he’d maybe be less significant to the team, but no. It seems Louis has a tenaciousness and a wicked sense of timing so he’s pivotal in plays. He even makes a goal. Everyone has clear respect for his skills. At times even the opposing team will give him a pat on his arse, because they have to admit, he’s good. Really good. He manuvers well like he knows how to use his body perfectly. It’s a struggle at times for Harry to not take that thought to the extension of what kind of lover that would make Louis, you know.

Hours of watching the games has Harry drawling another conclusion. With Naill and Zayn busy in conversation about Uni stuff Harry has time to notice everything. Louis’ team is captained by a large, very affectionate with Louis, offensive player. The guy is built like a rugby player. Tall, muscular, blond, very attractive. Any chance he has the players change out he puts an arm around Louis. He and Louis give off a very couple-like vibe throughout the game. As he leads the team to a win, this captain looks to Louis over all others for celebration. Louis reacts by his turning to Louis when the get the winning score with open but taking a running jump into the captain, the two of them having a two-some moment where the guy has Louis in his arms as he spins Louis around before Louis drops to his feet and the entire team coalesces into a mass, team hug.

The team disbands after some team-to-team congrats. Notably the opposing team players have a fondness edge in their passing exchange with Louis. 

Louis looks good coming off the field. He looks relaxed, like he’s spent the day at the beach because his tan skin has extra color from the heat, the sweat he worked into. Like the other day perspiration has his clothes sticking to his skin in alluring ways making his curvy form very noticeable. He’s got his fringe pulled back with a wide hair band again so his features are highly visible. For certain the bruise Harry assumed was masked by makeup is indeed still present. 

These are not the only things that are obvious. As Louis comes toward his three friends his movements are linked with the team captain. In fact the tall, handsome specimen of masculinity has an arm around Louis the entire way which he only slips into a hand-hold just a second before he and Louis greet Zayn, Niall and Harry. 

Harry is grateful he’s wearing dark sunglasses. He wouldn’t want anyone to see what is in his eyes. Having to be false most of the time for what he does for work, Harry has himself well-trained to restrain emotions. As team captain drops Louis’ hand extends it to shake Harry’s it’s essential the guy not see the daggers in Harry’s eyes. 

“Aiden, I’d like you to meet my new friend Harry, Harry this is my boyfriend Aiden.” Louis says all smiles. The smiles Harry thought were just gifts to him? Well that’s his mistake, it appears never so were they meant to be as Louis is doing them for this Aiden fellow. 

A sucker punch would hurt less. 

Harry takes the extended hand which is sweaty. It occurs to Harry instantly the sweat not just Aiden’s but some Louis. Another sucker punch sensation rips at Harry’s core. It’s more knife like than the first. 

Louis’ two admirers assess each other after the handshake. Harry’s poker face holds, his deep voice stays smooth and deceptive of his pain at this meeting. Aiden’s face shows he has a curiosity about Harry; he’s trying to work out by Harry’s body language. It’s not the usual one. No. Aiden isn't wondering if Harry is, a whore for hire. He’s most likely, Harry expects, wondering if Harry is an interloper after a piece of Louis’ ass. 

Harry gives no clue. “Helluva game. You killed them.” Harry goes to the easiest type deflective conversation. Sports talk. 

Aiden eases up his scrutiny. “We get a hundred times better whenever Louis can come play. He’s our secret weapon.” Aiden gushes over Louis. With his rave he casts a big, prideful smile at his best player and pulls Louis into him, arms all over Louis, enveloping Louis easily, raising Louis off his feet a little. It’s love and admiration so great Harry can almost see mutual heart emojis coming off of them floating up into a blue sky like bubbles drifting up into the atmosphere. How nice. They are in love. 

Zayn and Niall remain unchanged through all of this. It’s clear this is A Thing. Louis has a boyfriend. A big, handsome, ripped, adoring boyfriend and everyone knows this. 

Harry can’t grapple with how he feels betrayal, but he does. As soon as he gets that feeling he grasps that he has no right to feel this way. He really doesn’t know even Louis. He only knows Louis is sporty, yet sweet. Great with kids. Quick-witted and insanely flexible. He likes being physical. He makes friends easily. He also has a powerful father who sexually abuses him. Friends who know this. And a boyfriend. 

That part puts Harry emotions into an entirely knew frame. Resentment. Harry resets how anyone can call themselves a boyfriend, much less any kind of friend like Zayn, Niall and Liam claim to be while standing to the side as the abuse goes on. A powerful feeling fills Harry. A feeling that he needs to take Louis away from all of this, all of them, friend even, and have Louis be treated as he should be.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> They are going to be back at Niall’s house in the next bit. Decided to add another chapter rather than be long between updates, so this cut here in the story is shorter. All the plot thickens in the next bit so it needs to be written right. Hope you enjoy this. It’s had little of my signature smut so far but that is coming. The bad and the good. 
> 
> ——Comments? You’re all such a quiet bunch? I know it’s a commonly written theme, but come on. Speak, even if critically. Am I doing this alright?
> 
> Oh, and I hope you recognized the dog featured. Park-dog is based on real-Louis’ dog, I should get a bone for that one maybe...


	11. Chapter 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Harry is invited to the circle of friends at Niall’s house where Louis shares a little of the story of his life.

Harry can’t belief he accepted the invite to go with the four lads, Zayn, Niall, Louis and this Aiden, to Niall’s house for some gaming except, yes actually, he can because Louis invited him, giving him the smile. That Smile. 

He’s regretting his decision as the four walk to cars, Louis being half-walking, half-carried by the way Aiden is continuing to keep Louis collected into him with arm around Louis’ waist though it’s placement is nothing like Hath when Louis was ripped from Anderson’s office the other day. Aiden’s way of taking Louis with is nothing but lovingly. The hand goes from Louis’ waist to hip, slipping sometimes a bit to his backside, but staying PG. At intersections, waiting for lights, the unbearable Harry witnesses escalates. Aiden kisses Louis on one flawless cheekbone, or Louis ‘ temple while his fingers carress near the bruise on the other cheekbone. He clucks out his doting questions, is Louis icing that area? Did he use up all the Arnica cream Aiden bought him for alleviating bruising? 

It’s sweet. It’s sickening Harry. 

They get to a parking garage, Zayn jumps into The Ferrari with Niall. Harry follows Louis and Aiden, still not sure he’s comfortable with the emotional abuse he’s subjecting himself to by witnessing the dream couple, but okay. He’s subjected himself to worst doing what he does. As long as Louis gives him more of those smiles. ...Like a panting dog Harry will follow. 

Aiden drives a Land Rover. The top of the line Land Rover. In the very back he throws his and Louis’ gear bags. He offers Harry the back seat. Harry notices behind that seat along with the soccer gear is a plethora of other sports gear. It seems Aiden does many sports. Nothing cheap. There’s a snowboard and boots. A saddle and riding boots, helmets. Aiden is in two words a Fucking Stud. 

They get to Niall’s house where Niall waits for them keeping the gate open until Aiden pulls through. 

Once they’re all inside Horan Manor it’s Niall who clucks tender concern for Louis instructing Louis to get a shower right away so if the three golfers are coming back sooner than expected Louis will appear to have been doing nothing unusal like being out at a park with friends playing football. Louis asks if his supply of clothes he’s got stashed at Horan’s for these occasions is holding out, Niall assures him he’s got enough. Or he can take some of Niall’s. 

Louis pulls a face at Niall and says something about not wanting to get leprechaun cooties from wearing Niall’s. It’s all terribly cute and clearly a routine among friends. 

As Louis is about to sprint off for a shower Aiden stops him. A hand gently, not like Hath again, catches Louis by his delicate wrist to pause him. He puts Louis back against the wall, very gently, again nothing like Hath did at Anderson’s office. Keeping Louis pressed like so against the wall Aiden kisses Louis. 

And oh what a kiss. It sucks all the air out of the room. When he’s done Louis looks weak-kneed. 

Harry knows something about kisses like that. 

When Louis runs off to clean up Aiden turns to Harry with his lips red from the kiss and, once again, this causes Harry the feeling of another sucker punch. Phantom or not Harry believes soon he’ll suffer internal damage the pain becoming too real. 

With Louis gone, Zayn’s and Niall get a game started. It’s clear now. Harry is being interviewed for membership into this pack. Oblivious to Harry and Aiden the two friends get competitive and loud like to give Aiden and Harry privacy. Maybe just provide some supervision in case a fight breaks out. 

“So boyfriend?” Harry asks with a little change to his voice that suggests he’s gutted. 

“Yep,” Aiden answers while making sure to measure Harry’s countenance. 

“How um, how long?” Harry’s gets the question out without any facial changes, doing a better job of reining in his heart ache like he’s asking about nothing particular significance to him. 

“Thirteen. I mean I was thirteen. Louis just was eleven. But don’t get me wrong. I didn’t touch him or anything. I mean like, like, you know, touch, touch him. I told him I wanted to wait until I was fifteen. I wanted him to be old enough, wanted him to have his first, first...wet dream. You know. And he was small. We fooled around some though because I wanted to make him feel good. Special. But he was, he’s, he’s still small.” 

“I was eleven.” Harry blurts out. He doesn’t know where it comes from,but it guarantees effect. Harry goes with it. He dials back the outburst and takes amore causal tone. “Eleven. The entire thing awful. It happened in an alley. I’d been on the streets for months. Giving blow jobs. Getting blow jobs if that how they wanted it. I wasn’t really ready but you know. A boy’s got to eat.” 

After that honesty there’s several minutes of silence between them. Aiden probably did t expect this much...honesty. He probably is wanting to be compassionate about Harry’s misfortune. 

“So boyfriends?” Harry repeats breaking the silent, awkward standoff. 

“Yep. Boyfriends. Since he was eleven. Six years now and counting.” Aiden senses Harry’s a little anger that started just then and its rising. The big question is coming. Aiden is standing his ground. “Counting, and counting down.” 

Harry snaps. “So for six years you’re allowing your boyfriend to be assaulted by his father, you and do his other so-called friends!” 

Niall and Zayn’s heads snap around to look at Harry’s outburst but Aiden doesn’t flinch. He puts a hand up like to say, “Chill, I got this.” The two turn back to their game leaving Harry’s outrage to Aiden. Aiden chooses words to deflect the accusation deliberatively. 

“I heard you were at Payne’s, the last time Louis was there, when Hath...did that. I guess you’re in our club now because you didn’t break the code, after that you respected Louis at Zayn’s opening at the gallery and didn’t make him suffer. He trusts you, Louis, does, he r e a l l y t r u s t s y o u.” The way Aiden slows down the words “really trusts” is notable; Aiden and Harry are in the thick of it now. No turning back. 

“I don’t know that. I don’t know what he feels.” Harry gets his words to have a snarky edge like when someone is angry and not sure what responsibility they have for making the conflict. “I’m not sure he’s even real for fucksake.” 

Harry throws his weight back into his chair when he realizes he was aggressive leaning into the conflict. His body giving a clue he could snap. Meanwhile Aiden stays purposefully, measurably relaxed. He’s not flinching. Moral high ground? How? 

“Oh he’s real alright. He’s the most real person you’ll ever meet. And sweet, loving. Kind. Generous. Playful. He loves kids. He’s great at reading people, you know, intuitive. He wants to be a teacher someday. And Harry, he’s also extremely determined. Determined to be free. He gave me his heart and I gave him my promise; we will be together. I believe his father can’t stop his decisions when he’s of age. We don’t have a stinking paper saying this but from when I turned fifteen, he was thirteen, we took an oath before I touched him that way. Liam and Zayn were there. In our eyes we are married.” 

“So until then you let your lover be raped, beaten, sequester in a gilded cage, used at the whim of a monster?” Harry snaps, jumping to his feet. It’s the idea of Louis in a committed relationship that drives the reaction almost as much as the abuse though Harry might not even know that about he’s own reaction yet even though he’s stating how can the assault can’t be let ongoing. 

Harry’s animated stance brings the other three their feet. 

Is it going to fists? Niall and Zayn fear it is. 

Aiden makes one last attempt to shut Harry down as he step up too closing the gap between them. He reads Harry’ s anger, he stays resolute, firm calm. Later Harry will realize how this calmness helps when the problem is someone like Hathaway Tomlinson. 

“Harry, don’t you know? The decision is not mine, it’s not his friends either, it’s strickly Louis’...” 

“I don’t believe you!” Harry shouts his anger has it him visibly trembling with the rage. Harry’s face is red, his fists clenched , “what kind of a person does that to themselves, chooses that for themselves? I was at Payne’s that night! I was in the men’s room...so you tell me what kind of a person does that to himself? Let’s his father use him like that! Fucking hell! I chose the path to fuck for money, it’s not pretty but it’s a business. My choice! I make money, a lot of money, I can buy whatever I want, go whereever I want. If the buyer wants it rough I make the decision about my body, me, myself! If I decide to go that way I make them pay for it in spades! How is Louis capable of choosing to do this?” 

Harry is about to got off more on Aiden when he’s arrested by a voice that interupts. The voice falters but it completely arrests the voraciousness of the impending fight. 

“Don’t judge me”, Louis says. Louis is standing there. He’s in sweats and an oversized hoodie. The ill fit of the garmet makes him look smaller than it would if he wore his correct size. He looks soft too, like he should be cuddled. He smells clean. His adorable look is only diminished by how he’s looking stressed and tired, not the happy ball of energy he was earlier on the pitch. 

He slips in between Harry and Aiden giving Aiden a push, like for putting distance between Aiden from Harry, Louis electing to move the one of them that he is most comfortable touching. 

“Don’t judge me, Harry.” Louis repeats, his voice is nuanced with sorrow. His softness gives Harry the impression like Louis was just beaten, broken. He looks at Aiden who’s eyes look at him with a knowing sort of understanding, “Aiden, give us a minute.” 

Louis pulls Harry by a hand to an outdoor balcony off the game room. Stepping outside, Louis closes the door behind them. He turns to Harry but is looking down like he’s shamed by what he heard Harry say. He repeats for a third time in a voice almost a whisper, “Don’t judge me, please Harry.” 

Harry’s eyes close with disbelief. He begins to talk because he can’t believe what Louis just said. Harry is also pressing his eyes closed by necessity to try to keep tears from flowing. It was the most beautiful thing anyone has ever said to Harry since his streetlife began. 

“Louis, you’re probably the only person who’s ever said to me, those words, don’t judge me, to me. I mean really. You know what I am, what I do, you have to? And you just said to me that me, a whore, has privilege to make judgements about you? Judge you? That’s, truly unbelievable. Astounding? What do you think you are? Do you even know?”

Louis is looking down when Harry’s eyes open to hear and see the answer. “I’m a whore Harry. But unlike you, I don’t get paid for it. I’m not valued. I, I am nothing. Not according to...”

Now it’s Louis who has tears. And unlike Harry he can’t bury his tears behind pressed eyelids. His whole body seems to cry. His hands go over his face and he shakes. Harry can’t have this. Harry is to Louis in a flash. A dream fulfilled, this beautiful thing in his arms. His lips shouldn’t but they find Louis, not to be disrespectful or presumptuous, they simply kiss over Louis’ hair, which smells amazing Harry notes as he kisses over Louis’ head, trying to hush him while his deep voice rumbles sweet assurances against Louis’ hair. 

It takes several minutes before sobs subside. Become sniffles.

Fuck, Harry thinks. Even the sniffles are an elixir drawling yearning in Harry for Louis. 

A few more shudders ripple off Louis before he seems ready to speak. Harry wants to keep the hold he has on Louis tight, their bodies pressed together as one but he has to release otherwise Louis’ face muzzled in Harry’s chest won’t let him speak.

“It’s okay Harry. I’m okay. I know I’m nothing, now, just his pussyboy. It’s okay. Soon I’ll be whatever I want. I’ll be legal age, finally be able to go anywhere, anything, with anyone. I won’t have his money but I don't care. He can’t buy me. He owns me now. But not forever. If I don’t take his money he has no claim on me. That’s the plan. That’s why everyone is turning away when you think they should speak out. It’s not much longer Harry, I turn eighteen in December. I can leave here forever. Aiden and I can get really married. He’s loved me through this all. He’s never abandoned me. He’s never robbed me of my dignity. He even gives me complete, unwavering trust when he fears it could be the death of me to stay here a single day longer. It’s very hard for him, to be silent. For Liam, Zayn, Niall too.” 

Louis looks harry in the eyes and the crying has given him yet another different way of looking stunningly beautiful. It’s not his model look like when Harry first saw him, or at the gallery. It’s not his sporty sexy look like on the pitch. It’s a vulnerable kind of beauty. 

The tip of Louis’ nose is red from crying. The shade of blue of Louis’ eyes changed color from the tears, the redness creating a different contrast to their blue. Cerulean is replaced by a more pale Sapphire shade of blue. He looks fragile. Like if Harry touches him he could break just as the slightest touch would dissolve a snowflake. Harry steps back. He doesn’t want this idea to be reality. Is Louis going to vanish? Dissolve?

Giving Louis space allows Louis to go on. “He, Aiden, has got to know you Harry, like I think I do. Aiden isn’t stupid. But he wants you to know the stakes being friends. The risk for me. You see the last time someone liked me as, um, as you seem to he made the mistake of touching me. It was here, in this house years ago. The family who owned this house before Niall’s had a son two years older than me. Aiden’s age. Robbie. They were friends actually. I always thought Robbie was nice. I don’t think he was gay. After it happened I came to believe maybe what he did, maybe it was because he was just so curious. And he didn’t mean anything, and Robbie knew I liked boys. So one night he decided to feel me, up. It made him go too far. I didn’t want him to but I wasn’t going to fight him either, risk making any noises that alerted anyone, his family, Hath. They came to find us when we didn’t hear them calling us in this huge house. Robbie had me pinned under him on the floor, his pants down, he was making me swallow his dick. They found us like that. His parents, his sister...and Hath....”

“Hath nearly broke his neck before his parents could separate them. It made a big mess for their family from then on. After that Hath also decided I made Robbie, them ...them being other boys, come to me. He says my mikskake makes all the boys come. Like the song. He made our ‘father and son time’ much worse after that. Much,much worse. Aiden, Liam, Zayn, Niall too, when he moved in next door, they all tried, try to make sure no one gets too close to me. Even a look can set Hath off. It’s doesn't always work, their protectiveness. Hath still gets ideas unprovoked, that I’m some vixen, some....”

Harry can picture it. Louis pinned, a bigger, stronger boy pushing his dick between Louis’ lips, making Louis choke. Louis afraid to scream out for help. Making himself accept that. Harry knows that experience. He shakes of the relatablity of the experience and asks, “So then what? Whatever happen to Robbie, he was raping you, what happened to him?”

“Hath broke the family. He kept saying as he threw a rage that he knew I was the tease, everyone knows I’m gay, I seduced their son, I want it clearly, that kind of stuff. He was more enraged though that they thought their son was good enough to have his use of me. Taking out his anger on me wasn’t enough for Hath after that night. He went after them. He’s the most powerful barrister in all of London Harry. He can do anything. So he does. People fear him. It’s only Aiden who doesn’t. Aiden loves me enough to take the risk, so long as he doesn’t give a Hath clues we are together. He won’t cause me to suffer.”

Louis repeats that Aiden loves him a couple times. It’s like it’s unbelievable to Louis; he has to say it over and over again like to convince himself. For yet another time Harry’s body feels the sucker punch.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sort of brief update again, I know, but segways nicely to use the continuation of this reveal as the story gets more intense. Thank you for reading and dedicating next update to SmartGreenEyes! Thanks for the encouragement!


	12. Chapter 12

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The scene is even worse when Harry encounters the Tomlinsons at Payne’s five days after he was invited into Team Louies.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Be aware, many typos, still editing. Also, I don’t personally do types of games that are not done on horseback so I’m quite awful at them. My use of FIFA in the story is probably terribly flawed; this is a work of fiction, forgive me. This chapter dedicated to SmartGreenEyes.  
> ***

Harry has many questions, so many more, yet he doesn’t want to extend what is clearly severely painful for Louis to share. 

He pulls back from Louis, seeing how protectively, Aiden is looking out through the glass door, considering coming to join them, as well as in part just to see all of Louis, read his stamina. Louis seems to be emotionally exhausted.

“Okay then. If I am to be part of the circle, how do we proceed? Am I allowed to speak to you ever if Hath’s around? If you’re at Payne’s do I run interfence? Like keep men from noticing you? Because can do that, I can get men, even diehard hets to look at me? What do I do to be part of the team? Do we have a name for us, like are we the Louies? What do we call ourselves, Team Louies?”

The ‘Team Louies’ suggestion makes a small smile form. 

Harry’s heart soars. He made that. That smile is all his.

“Um, just stay casual. We’ve crossed paths so he has an idea about you, it’s not good. If you want, it would be if nice you could save anything else for when Hath is out of range. He’s so volatile. It got better for a while, but...ever since...”

“Ever since what?”

Lips release the words and regret strikes Harry. The smile leaves, the emotionally drained look returns. Before Louis can say more Aiden sticks his head out. “Hey, Tomlinson, Niall beat Zayn and I just beat him. You want to try to beat me in the championship?”

Louis lightens immediately at the game mention, “Sure, but don’t you think Harry should try? Aiden verses Harry!”

***

Later when Harry gets home he’s in disbelief that he could ever like a game such as FIFA, or be good at it. Given the beating Niall put on him when they played the game at Niall’s the first time it’s still inconceivable he won a game. 

Of course Harry beat Aiden only because Louis was coaching him, giving Harry constant tips, directions. And the part that made the entire thing awesome was during this coaching Louis had be very close to him, their bodies in contact much of the time. It was wildly amusing to everyone how Louis was loving getting Harry to beat Aiden. Naturally, that meant Harry was in the last game against Louis, a game in which Louis took Harry down in record time.

Nevertheless the game was amazing. So infused with a lightheartedness from the experience was Harry that he almost didn’t mind seeing the way Aiden got to kiss Louis when the word came that the three golfers were heading home signaling the fun for Louis needed to come to an end.

Harry gets to bed after first texting Liam. “Hi Liam. I’d like to apologize. I understand better now. Not everything, but more. I’m now an official member of ‘Team Louies’. Do you think you can trust me to behave if they’re at the restaurant sometimes? I promise I will behave.”

He hits send then gets an idea to sway the plead. “Oh, and I met Aiden. He seems nice. Looks a little like another Hemsworth.”

Suddenly a text reply comes up. “Aiden is great. He loves Louis more than anything. Yes, to the heads up.”

The text had a smiley emoji at the end of it. 

***

It’s five day before Harry gets a text from Liam. Not that he hasnt gone past Payne’s, even if out of his way, everyday because Liam’s schedule at the restaurant is irregular.

The text reads. “Hath is here. He’s dining alone. He doesn’t have a driver today. Louis is sitting in the car. 

Harry runs out of his flat forgetting he’s got wet nail polish. Who cares. 

Harry gets to the restaurant, he doesn’t see the Bentley in the patron parking lot so he starts to walk around to the employee lot behind Payne’s only to have Liam come out of the building, waving to suggest he come through the front entrance. Payne’s has many tables, it appears Hath is on the east side of the restaurant. Liam takes Harry around a big center partition which is a bar that dissects the floor space, on the west side and to the kitchen. They walk through the kitchen to the back door. At the back door they talk. Liam’s uncle is off so Liam is acting as manager on this night. Liam’s interaction with a known “escort” is not a concern among the kitchen staff.

“Hath came in alone. About 30 minutes ago. I was stepping out the back door to toss something into bin when saw that his Bently is there, noticed that Louis is sitting in the back. I don’t like that, not at all. I can’t get anyone else on the phone and I shouldn’t be letting my eyes, ears off the staff, we’re too busy. So I called you. Go check on him. Please. Something doesn’t feel right.”

Harry leaps to the task. Approaching the car he sees Louis is in the back seat, sitting there alone, staring forward like a manikin. Harry knocks on the window which makes Louis levitate in a startle. Seeing Harry he signals, go around to the other side, that side being the far side of the Bentley from restaurant back door. Louis unlocks the door. Harry slips in.

Louis breaks into tears, hands covering his face, but not before Harry has a good view of a new bruise, much like the old one, only it’s on the other cheekbone. His jaw has one too. His neck is littered with dark spots. He was choked, obviously. He’s dressed in baggy sweatpants and a tee. He looks like he hasn’t slept or showered for a couple days. Harry gets the scent of something, Hath maybe. Harry know the smell of Louis from the other day, both sweaty Louis and clean Louis. This has the scent of a man’s endeavors. 

Harry arms envelope Louis and he holds him. Louis just cries. Getting his breath doesn’t happen with ease. He goes on saying nothing just crying for what feels like eternity. 

Calm happens slowly. Like Louis runs into such emotional exhaustion he has nothing left.

Harry’s got Louis held into his chest and it’s only after a long while that Louis speaks. 

“He’s gone.” Louis offers up. “Aiden is gone.”

Louis is crying again. Harry shifts, gathers Louis’ face in his most gentle touch, hands framing Louis face. “Gone? You mean he, he left you?”

Louis gets more emotional. He’s got to hurt to cry this hard. He’s also thrashing a bit, like his pain is so intense his body can’t house it.

“No Harry! He didn’t go away, he’s gone! He’s dead!”

Harry grabs Louis back into him because he’s afraid Louis could quite literally expire from his hyperventilating-like heaves. Harry’s in shock over this. How can young, virile, fit Aiden be dead? It was just five days ago he was alive and healthy, in love, planning to elope with his beautiful lover. How? When? 

Harry hasn’t gotten answers when he sees Liam at the back door of Payne’s. What’s he doing? Why is he waving a white dish towel? It occurs to Harry almost a second too late that the behavior is a sign, a signal. Hath’s coming. 

Harry hates giving up Louis. “Louis, I gotta get out, Hath!” 

Louis goes rigid and sits back in the seat looking frozen as he resumes a stare. Harry opens the door, slips out, softly shuts it. Because he hears footsteps coming fast so Harry can only leave exit the car and stay on the ground next to the car, on its far side and hope he will not be seen. Slink away as opportunity allows. 

Hath opens the back door on the other side. He must not like discoverying how Louis is looking like he’s been crying. 

“Have I not told you again and again that if you continue to cry over T H A T I will take it out on your arse!” 

Harry’s gripped with fear. He got Louis in further trouble by the simple act of sitting with him causing an upwellling of grief which clearly Louis is required to hide. 

“I want to take you out, but you have to appear to be something other than a whoring twink. Fine, you wanna cry over dick, you force me to have to pound that unnatural desire out of you.” 

Harry hears sounds like clothing being fused with. Probably one noise is the sound of a metal belt buckle hitting the pavement. “Face down, Daddy has more of his dinner coming, has to make this fast.” 

The wrestling starts. Clearly Louis didn’t move to present himself fast enough for Hath. Harry hears Louis’ wordless distress as he’s clearly trying to fight, Hath’s cursing Louis as he must be putting Louis down on the seat, probably then easily disrobing to access Louis’ bum given Louis’ attire. 

Is he really going to fuck his son right now in parking lot between his courses of his fancy meal? 

The next sounds must be made by slapping Louis’ bare arse. Louis makes muffled protests. He must already be bruised there by the evidence Harry noted elsewhere, his face, his neck. Could he even possibly be prepared for more of this? 

No sooner does Harry ponder that than Hath delivers the answer. 

“Pretty sorry that you failed to choose to put those fingers of yours to use while I was dining as I instructed you. Looks like nothing has been in your little hole since I pounded you last night. Can’t my little pussyboy do as I demand? I don’t know how you twinks prep yourselves so Daddy’s cock doesn’t hurt you, that’s your job. I tell you to do that, but no, you frequently choose to ignore me. Yesterday, I said you had to clench on Daddy’s cock or I’d have to fuck you again, later, harder. Did you obey me? Yesterday? No. Today? No. Loves taking dick so much princess but expects his Daddy to make it right for your whoring need?” 

Harry is perplexed by Hath’s brutal, convoluted thinking. He can’t believe this. Nor can he sit here in hiding any longer and not stop this. Louis has one less person to help him now that Aiden gone, Harry can’t risk Louis loosing another, not when Harry’s still not sure how Hath manages to take things so far, powerful barrister or not. 

Harry gets to his feet. He’s not seen because Hath has his focus on his son under him, a hand making Louis’ left cheek part. His right hand on his dick as he’s bringing the head to Louis’ body. Clearly, his intention is to push ahead, fuck Louis raw, no lube, not even spit, no prep whatsoever, a reality which Louis is being blamed for. Harry walks around the Bentley, beside the open door, where bare-arsed Hath is positioning to breach his son, Harry interrupts. He makes a throat clearing noise. This brings Hath snapping to pull away, stand, turning in a rage. 

Harry gives a casual smile. His face hides his loathing and hatred. “You know I’m pretty sure if you’re wanting that twink of yours to do for you what? Was it ‘clench on Daddy’s cock’? You’re going to have to get him ready before you fuck him. Too painful and he’s not going to be able to come for you, that is what you meant by clench, isn’t it? God he’s such a gem too, bet he’s beautiful when he rides daddy. I’d take proper care of him if I had that as my bottom, really, really good care.” 

Hath’s rage is challenged by the unorthodox approach. His erection is as red with its heat for Louis as his face is red with anger for Harry disrupting the rape. 

“So it’s the Intern, Paul’s intern, here to give me advice, is he? It’s Harry right? Harry Styles, who I understand is an ‘Intern’ at a number of hig profile businessmen’s offices. That’s the term now in the Harry Styles private men’s club of sex for hire. So tell me Harry, how so popular, do you go both ways?” 

The opening is perfect. Spurred on by catching a glimpse with his peripheral vision of Louis moving ever so slightly, pain clearly suppressing Louis, Harry pushes on to do the unthinkable. 

“Pretty much I offer a full-service Internship. I’ll do Daddy’s part like Paul usually wants a little of. He’s interesting though, Paul likes his Daddy in lace panties, pink ones. He’s got some seriously unique kinks. Mostly though I get clients who want a bottom, you know that’s one reason why I would take care of this one. Can I tell you how many times I’m sat here over dinner at Payne’s with a client who is begging for what is going to happen later when he finally fucks me and suddenly my lips, my beauty doesn’t keep his attention. And who are they captivated, salivating looking at? Everytime is your twink. They get embarsssed if they realize I notice their distraction. I don’t mind, I guilt them later and make them pay me extra for the insult of their distraction. In a way, I’d say your twink has already made me a lot of money. Maybe I should repay his Daddy for the additional income?” 

Harry knows he has Hath with all the imagery because Hath is standing there listening to every worded is saying, picturing Harry’s narrative in his mind. Vividly. Also Hath has not lost one bit of his arousal. His hand is actually on his dick as soon as Harry says ‘other men want Louis’. The problem, right now for Louis, as Harry knows from his personal experiences is that Hath’s dick is needy, rigid. Hard as hell. It’s all way too much for Louis. Harry will do anything to stop this rape from happening, even if it means inserting himself into the sex. Can he take Hath at this high stakes game?


	13. Chapter 13

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Harry gets himself inserted into Hath’s newest assault in a failed attempt to do an intervention.

They leave the parking without Hath finishing his meal or paying. As they drive to to Tomlinson manor Hath calls the restaurant, speaks to the manager on this night, Liam, agrees to have a bill sent to Hath’s law office. Harry does his best to ignore the idea that Louis is lying on the back seat maybe hearing them, maybe not able to hear enough to understand Harry’s playing a game with Hath as they drive. Hopefully, Harry is saved by the fact Louis is far too weak from grief and abuse to be cognizant of their conversation. 

They pull into the residence, the one sat between Zayn’s and Niall’s family homes where Hath stops at the front entry. The full-time driver for the Tomlinson’s, as it appears from his attire and manner, meets them, opening first Hath’s door than the back door to access Louis. 

Harry steps out, goes around to where the driver is leaning in to collect Louis from the car.

To Harry it seems that this is not the servant’s first time seeing something like this between father and son. He acts accordingly. Harry also notes as the robust, older gentleman driver leans down to scoop Louis up that around the neck of the driver of the Bentley, hidden by his formal driving attire, including a tie, there is a whistle hanging from a string. Harry’s seen that kind of whistle before. He thinks he’s heard it too...likely the first day at the park when the blue Bentley came to pick up Louis. The purpose of the whistle? Likely to coordinate in order to get Louis home before Hath.

Walking up the steps of the entry, Harry turns to the driver, who has Louis in his arms. Louis is limp. Hath is unconcerned. Harry goes to take Louis from the driver. As he does he says loudly enough so Hath can hear him, “How about I take him from here, thank you.”

What Hath doesn’t hear is the words Harry says as he leans in when they exchange Louis, “You help him?”

The driver says “Yes, sir.” Is seems like an answer to Harry’s saying he’d take Louis. Harry knows it’s the answer to the question of who is on Team Louies at Tomlinson Manor. 

Once Harry has Louis in his arms to carry his heart melts again. Louis is so light. Soft and firm depending on where a hand is. He’s also lifeless, probably because he’s suffered years of abuse, he’s grieing over the death of his love/ boyfriend/ unofficial husband. He knows what’s coming from the history with his father. Does he know Harry enough to know to trust; trust Harry when Harry is going to be touching him?

***

The master bedroom is larger than most homes total floor square footage.

Harry gently puts Louis down on the bed. Hath seems doubtful now that he has a well known prostitute in his home. His son, the objective, compromised.

It is easy to remove the few pieces of poorly reapplied clothing from Louis. When Harry does this he sees the ravages of the past five days. They are hard to ignore. Louis has marks everywhere. More on his hips, pelvis, upper thighs Harry gently parts Louis’ legs, and it’s clear. Ravage.

Hath had been directing a few of his staff about incidental, nothing sort of things, as they entered the home as Harry follows him upstairs. The staff is behaving oddly, in that they acted like they where unaffected by Harry carrying in Louis, Louis nearly lifeless in Harry’s arms. Thier reactions, lack thereof, suggest they’ve seen it all before. Somehow they haven’t been able to, or tired, to stop it. Maybe for years. Now in the bedroom Harry goes into to overdrive to defend Louis.

Charm. Harry goes with Charm. 

Harry smiles while looking Hath straight in the eyes selectively removes a few bits of his own clothing. Shoes, his jacket. His shirt. He likes that Hath inspects his body from a distance. It’s curious though how Hath can keep maintaining he’s not into men with the way he’s looking Harry over, but then Harry has countered that in men who don’t know themselves many, many times before. 

Hath takes all his clothing off. He’s a big man. Almost odd for being Louis’ father. Harry sees nothing of Louis in him. On the drive Hath’s erection has waned significantly but now it’s beginning to harden once more. Maybe anticipation for Louis. Maybe seeing the beauty of Harry. Hath gives himself a lazy sort of hand-job and sits on his bed to the side of where Louis lies. 

Louis is still giving no indication of wakefulness. Harry thinks that could be better, or not. He gently turns Louis over to lie him face down. Taking a breath and hoping his perfomance is being maintained as believable Harry instantly feels heartbreak seeing the bruising on Louis’ backside. Maintaining an illusion in the worst of settings is simply part of Harry’s line of work, Harry’s hands take hold of Louis’ round, bountiful butt cheeks. He parts them. 

His breath catches. Hopefully not so notably and yet before he can get himself under control a revealing “oh my god” slips from his lips. He covers for it. He doesn’t want Hath to know it’s because of seeing the bruising there, around Louis’ tiny entrance. While the expression was in part for that appalling reason, it’s also for another reason; his reaction to seeing all of Louis, even the most intimate parts, as beautiful as everything Louis. 

“He is is simply the most beautiful, bottom in every way. He’s so unimaginably perfect. Pink, tiny hole, surround by these full cheeks, simply sensational. If I had this, I’d do him right so everytime he comes exactly when I say he can. I’d always have my dick in this tiny thing when he comes, or my finger in this treasure, or my tongue, something so I could feel his body working for me. Clenching. For me.” 

Hath seems fully aroused now that Harry’s going on about how special Louis is. He asks, “How do I make him do that? Can you show me?” 

Harry goes bold. He drops off his pants in flash before setting his hands on Louis’ bottom again to part cheeks. His mouth goes immediately for the pretty little puckering of pink. Harry starts devouring Louis’ body making the effort deliberately super wet and sloppy sounding. Gradually he incorporates some soft kisses, licks, nibbles around the pink treasure, on each cheek, over the entire bum. He uses a wettened fingertip to play with the puckered flesh. Whenever he puts his mouth back over the hole he again makes the loud sounds again, eating out this body like Louis’ hole is life sustaining. It’s very loud, very slurpy and in his enthusiasm Harry can’t stop his own moans. His own body responds. 

Maybe Harry’s moaning makes this so, he doesn’t realize until Louis begins moving that Louis is making a change from unconsciousness to wakefulness. Harry’s sure he feels Louis quiver a split second before Louis whispers “Aiden” with the name muffled on the bed he’s face into. 

That is all it takes to make Hath launch into act, grabbing Louis by his hair, Hath roughly pulls Louis’ head up from the bed and threatens him. 

“Say that name ever again, even in a dream and I will break your pretty jaw! Aiden’s dead you whore, he was never going to marry you!” 

Releasing Louis with a violent fling. Louis makes an dazed attempt to lift his head, one disoriented passing glance around. Just as he sees Harry, not Aiden, he drops his head, begins convulsing sounds, shaking mixed with tensing up. Harry makes a subtly reassuring caress by letting one hand run up extending along Louis’ back, giving a few pats before returning his hand to the bum cheek and beginning his efforts anew. 

Louis goes still. Mostly, Harry knows, clearly Louis is trying to repress his shaking. This is not good. He’s been through this kind of thing too much. Not for just one time at least, maybe for six years. Slowly Louis gets calmer, his body yielding to Harry’s efforts renewed, his fear, shakes reducied he becomes more tuned to some degree of pleasure. By the time Harry has gotten his index finger working just a tiny bit into Louis, Louis seems let this be Pleasing. At least for Harry it’s become very much so. Harry can make his tongue push through the rim in the most minute measure. Louis’ body responds. He even makes his pelvis angle in a tilt like he wants more of Harry. 

By the time Harry has one finger able to go as far as his hand allows Louis is making rapid little breaths like the feeling is so good. He says nothing though. His body just keeps giving tiny clues. He rocks his pelvis making his entrance prone for more. His thighs begin to tiny shudders when Harry strikes a sensation in Louis that is just right. One finger hits the right spot.harry knows it. Louis is afraid to reveal it and still his body softens. 

Harry keeps expecting some more outbursts from Hath, but he catches sight of Hath giving himself a good hand job while watching this in fascination. 

Once Harry works two fingers deep into Louis he has Louis getting up on his knees, back arching, breath coming in shallow, rapid gasps. Louis is in a word gorgeous. He’s perspiring, he’s doing such a presentation with his bum up, his curves being emphasized by his fluid arching position. Harry would be kidding himself if he said he didn’t want to fuck this body, but how could he? 

Harry pulls his fingers out and resumes eating Louis out. His tongue makes it as deep as it can before penetration is restricted by lips at the gateway to the rim, a rim more pliant. The newest penetrating licks into Louis make Louis moan. It’s the first sound of overt pleasure Harry’s heard from him. Perhaps Louis shouldn’t have. 

Hath rips Harry away, pushing Harry roughly. Harry begins to protest as he sees Hath turn to pull Louis back to him, swiftly penetrateing Louis in one hard-driving, bottoming penetration. 

Harry’s shouted words, “No wait! Should let me do him more on three fingers first!” The outcry goes unnoticed as Hath drives into Louis again and again while cursing. 

“Fucking pussy boy so loves feeding a whore, ass eating whore,” 

“Can’t resist having his body fucked by men, even another whore,” 

“Give yourself to any man when you’re just for me, I am your daddy, me!” 

“I try, try to fuck you enough to fucking pound the gay out of you!” 

Hath is giving it so hard to Louis that he has to grip Louis to keep him from being pounded into the bed under them making it a challenge for Hath. At last Hath snatches Louis up as he positions himself siting. He puts one arm around Louis to keep Louis positioned as he trusts upward into Louis. Feeling his own urgency, clearly, he grabs Louis’ member in hand and begins pumping roughly. 

His commands begin to sound like pleads, probably because Hath is getting close. 

“Come for Daddy, come for me, fuck slut, come for Daddy,” 

”Daddy wants his pussyboy’s clench, makes Daddy so alive!” 

Harry is mortified at how brutal this is despite his efforts to avert this kind of thing. He actually hopes Hath would see his body and want him instead yet seeing how Hath is an obligate-gay for his son, Louis alone his obsession, Harry wants to soften this. 

From other experiences, Harry knows that Louis needs one sensation of tenderness. He needs it before Hath turns to anger again. 

Eyeing Hath to montior his reaction Harry takes Louis’ dick from Hath’s hand as talks softly to father and son. “He’ll come for Daddy, right, won’t you Louis?” 

Louis eyes that have been shut since Hath shifted him into his lap open. They’re not cerulean, they are the sapphire color; gorgeous but pleading. Harry gives back to Louis in one brief look of what assurance he can before he begins a wordless comfort as best as he can. 

Harry sinks on Louis’ dick. He gets several inches down, that’s all it takes, before a spurting sensation and a salty flavor fills Harry’s mouth. 

Hath must go off too, lead by Louis seated on him, the desired pulsing of Louis’ orgasm giving him the elusive clenching rim on Hath’s dick. Hath shouts out his orgasmic revelations, something with “god” in it, something with “Daddy” in it, something about his (Louis, but not that name), “gets him (Hath) off so much more perfectly” when Hath’s boy “can come on Daddy’s dick” like this.


	14. Chapter 14

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> When Hath finishes in Louis this gives Harry a chance to linger with Louis under the guise of cleaning up the mess. Louis tells Harry how he learned about Aiden’s murder.

Hath deliberatively extends dumping his seed in Louis as long as he can. He makes unnecessary trusts. He makes the most overtly manliest-sounding guttural grunts like he owns this, as if what he made this orgasm happen. He clearly wants Louis’ body to go on doing this thing to his “most powerfull body” that his pleasure is feeding off of. He even makes a slip about his needs, an accidental whining sound, when Louis ceases orgasming, that clenching feeling in Louis’ body Hath is obsessed with, ending too soon. Unceremoniously, Hath tosses Louis aside when Louis can’t extend Hath’s pleasure anymore. 

Meanwhile Harry is still kneeling just off the bed where he had been sucking Louis’ dick to make Louis come hoping that would ebb the intensity of Hath’s ravage of Louis. Harry’s erection once hard, induced many minutes ago when Louis was his to pleasure, has waned. Harry realizes this is because of his own part in this for the things that had gone wrong. He made Louis feel good. So good that once Louis mistakenly allowed a moan to slip, because Harry’s effects upon him, the brutal assault by Hath took over regardless of Harry’s hopes to stave it off. 

Harry is a seasoned whore, but this? This, this is too much even from Harry’s experience to take in stride. 

Hath and Harry maintain a long, hard look after Hath is done with Louis. Perhaps Hath is hopeful. Maybe he thinks Louis can be made to come again for him if only Harry would make it happen by sucking Louis off again. Make it possible for Hath twice. Hath regains his disagreeable disposition quickly when it occurs this is totally unrealistic as he and Harry continue to stare at each other. A wrecked Louis is sprawled between them. 

”Get this twink off my bed before he dribbles on it. I’ve got court tomorrow, I can’t be bothered with him. I need to sleep in a clean bed.”

“Dribbles? Your own cum, offends you? Sure I’ll take him from your bed, but where is his room?” Harry’s asks happy for any exit that involves bringing Louis. 

“Down the hall,” Hath adds, waiving off Harry, completely disinterested in the condition of his son. Hath is only concerned for inconveniences, not concerned that they are caused by his acts of molestation. 

Harry gets his clothes from the floor of the room in one arm, then uses both modestly loaded arms to pick up Louis. Harry tries to be as gentle as he can picking Louis up because Louis is clearly obliterated.

“Um, can I clean up, me, do I clean him too before I leave?” 

Hath sets a glare on Harry. “Have a shower, clean him off if you want. Don’t mistake thinking I’m welcoming you to put your dick in my son. This slut, his body, it’s mine. Your whoring mouth did its job, its thing alright, but not even your fingers are to go in him again. Clean up, leave.”

***

Harry finds the Louis’ room with ease. It’s got posters everywhere of football players, an Ironman movie poster, and a number of very faded pictures of a young Louis with a beautiful woman. The woman must be his mum. They look so similar. Her expressive eyes, the same shape as Louis’ though hers are brown. All of the pictures of Louis’ mother and him are from earlier, childhood. There are none with Louis and his mum from sometime after his age ten or eleven. Oddly all the pictures are poor quality like they are mere paper copies but even still it is clear in the images that Louis was a happy child. Loved.

Harry drops his clothes and goes to a bathroom off Louis’ bedroom. Everything is the house is spacious. Same with Louis’ bathroom. Harry decides looking at a big shower and a large soaking tub to use the bath. In part this is because Louis is still nearly lifeless. It will be easier for Harry to hold him in the bath.

Harry gets them into the tub as the water starts. He finds bath salts on the side of the tub along with other oils and soaps. He hopes the salts have medicinal qualities. Louis needs that.

With the water covering most their bodies, Harry sits relaxed under Louis who Harry keeps placed on top of him. Louis head is on one of Harry’s shoulders. His lips, facing Harry’s head, look bitten. Most likely Louis cut them with teeth during the assault. His eyes still closed, his breathing is so quieted by his exhaustion that Harry has to keep watching for little signs that Louis is okay while letting him sleep in the warm, scented bath. How soon will Hath loose patience and want Harry out of the house? Harry could live like this with Louis in his arms for eternity.

Harry can’t be pressed to move this bath along quickly despite how he should while Louis sleeps like this. Peaceful. Harry hopes Louis’ sleep is an escape from reality. Did Hath become more brutal because Louis sometimes says the name “Aiden” in his dreams? As Harry considers what he’s learned, he doesn’t realize that the water begins to chill ever so slowly. Louis must become aware of that. With a sudden shiver Louis is wakeful. Tears erupt when he’s no longer sleeping. Harry keeps Louis tighter into him, giving comfort, prays the crying doesn’t bring Hath bursting in, starting a rage anew.

Getting Louis out of the water, Harry carries him wrapped in a bunch of towels to his bed. The comfort from Harry helps Louis begin to control his emotions. He must also fear what he knows; his tears incites the wrath of his father.

Harry has Louis under the blankets when Louis finally speaks. Soft, broken, challengingly. “Harry, I thought it was a dream. I thought you were him, Aiden, when I woke to such a feeling. He’s really gone though. He is.”

Louis puts a hand over his face. It’s futile. He’s making little progress in surpressing tears. “You have to go,” Louis manages to spitter out suggestions. “Go out the back, Howard can drive you somehwere. Go, please Harry, please, before he comes and throws you out. Or worse.”

Harry has gotten his clothes on while Louis talks. It’s hard to dress and leave. Louis’ voice sounds small, broken. Harry nodding his head in agreement about Louis suggestion even though he knows Louis can’t see through the hand. Eventually the hand comes away from Louis’ face. It’s such a mix a of beauty and sadness. Grief. 

Seeing Louis’ beauty in his abandonment by humanity, Harry has to ask. “Louis?” 

Harry pauses. A great fear sets upon him. “How did you hear, I’m sorry, but Louis, about Aiden, what happened..” Harry has to stop, get his arms around Louis’ swaddled body becuase Louis breaks into tears. “I’m very sorry. Are you sure? It was five days ago, he was...”

“News, news. In the paper. Report said a local man, nineteen, was shot in what appeared to be a roadside robbery when his car broke down. His wallet and phone were gone. No other details. Except the incident is under investigation.” 

Harry’s trying to understand how that could be Aiden. From that limited information how make the leap to the worst. “I’m sorry Louis. I don’t connect the dots. Ho do you communicate with Aiden, when did you last?”

Louis rolls to his back his hand over his face again. It’s trembling. Tears slip past his shield.

“Three days ago, I came into the house through the back, me shoes were dirty from kicking a ball around for a few minutes. I looked up about the laundry sink for a scrub brush and saw two black bags on the top shelf that aren’t there normally. I noticed that they looked familiar. One was my gear bag, the other Aiden’s. His even had his phone in it. How did that get in my house when we always leave my gear in his Land Rover? How does that happen?”

Harry sits on the bed. He feels heavy with the dreadful implication. Louis continues.

“I wanted to get ahold of Zayn, Niall. I don’t have a cell phone, just the house line. Hath reads the list of all calls made from or to our house number. When it was safe I went back to the laundry room to get the phone of Aiden’s to call them because I was afraid to go over next door, I was sure if Hath wasn’t home, it’d be safe to look at them again, get the phone. The two gets bags, which I put back exactly where they had been, were gone. Coincidentally Hath had left the house in the hour between when I saw them first and went back to get Aiden’s phone. When Hath came home that night he tried to make me have sex. I resisted, he acted strange.”

“The next day he brought home a paper and left it open to the brief crime report. He’d circled it. That night he raped me, beating me, for crying, for not coming when he’s in me.”

Louis ended his description of events with an emotionless, numb-like expression. “He’s gone isn’t he, right Harry? He has to be. How else would Hath get our stuff, his phone, bring in a crime report. He’s killed Aiden or he’s had someone do it for him, make it look like a robbery. It’s, itz...” Louis doesn’t get out what was likely him saying “....because of me.” He just breaks again. 

Being beside him Harry is lost. He reaches down hand hugging, half lying on Louis whose body ripples with agony, grief. 

There’s a knock at the door. Clearly it’s not Hath but it startles them both. Harry jumps, rises to stand and Howard, the driver, says, “I was instructed to take you home at this time.”

Harry leaves Louis with only a very not sexy touch, a hand touses Louis’ clean, now dry, hair a bit. Harry walks away hearing in a faint voice six last words. “Harry, he will kill you too.”

***


	15. Chapter 15

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Howard reveals a history to Harry after the failed intervention to spare Louis; how Jay met Hathaway. How they fought over Louis’ differences. How her tolerance led to a dramatic change after she died.

Howard leads Harry to the Bentley. As soon as they are in the car Harry let’s loose with a flurry of questions. Howard has many answers, no excuses. 

In short order Harry learns that Howard is the only staff still continuing with the Tomlinson family since everything changed in Louis life, at eleven, when his mum died. Up until that time the home had been a happy one. Louis’ childhood seemed perfect in every way. However, there were some other things going on in the marriage around the time of Jay Tomlinson’s death. Howard tells Harry that he began to see consistent, frequent friction between Hath and Jay. The conflict? Louis.

Howard revealed he’d never forgotten one particularly symbolic conversation between them. Often they liked to talk privately when riding in the car, usually less ears around to overhear their disputes, was better for deterring staff gossip. 

“The Misses, was not accepting of the Sir’s approach regarding the Louis. The Sir was angry that she was allowing her son to behave in a manner not befitting a son of his. She made the mistake of saying the wrong thing to counter that. She reminded him that he wasn’t refelcted on by having a son who trends to the feminine side because Louis is only his child by marriage and subsequent adoption.”

Harry sits up and shouts out a “What?” Hard to fathom or suddenly not; Louis is not Hath’s biological child.

Howard explains. Jay had been raising Louis as a single mum until Louis was two. She was working as a nurse in pediatrics at the hospital. Hath met her when some parents of a patient left her a sum of money because she had been such a great person through two years of their child’s medical struggles. Hath was the person settling up the large monetary gift from the benefactors. He fell in love with Jay at first sight. Her beauty, her reputation as being such a loving person, she was unlike other women he’d met; Jay wasn’t looking for a rich sugar daddy, she had a son to think of. That Jay had a son already was son was a bonus; Howard tells Harry he suspects Hath is infertile. They got married after a brief period dating. Hath accepted Louis as his own, insisted to legally adopt Louis to be able to give Louis his family name. Once the new family was together in his massive home Hath immediately started grooming young Louis to be a proper heir. 

Over the years the boy who was always very athletic, almost gifted at sports especially for his size, began to display some other characteristics. Jay, the one with a loving heart, a person who lived with tolerance, became more and more clear that she wouldn't have her son forced into ways of being that were not in his nature. Louis was just different than most boys. While many other boys Louis age would play soldier when there were play dates, Louis would choose to play more gentle games. Frequently Louis would be among a group of girls, playing like a girl, maybe play-acting to be having formal tea, often having a babydoll or stuffed animal in his arms. He liked to wear hats, didn’t care if they were girly hats. 

Sharing this about Louis makes Harry think back on the day in the park when the little girl with the skinned knee wanted Harry to know Louis likes to do puppet shows and makes up different voices for all the characters. Harry can picture a young Louis being among little girls his age, playing with their dolls, making up voices, causing the little girls all to giggle.

Howard continues telling Harry the Tomlinson history. Once Jay was gone everything changed. Howard took Louis out of the private school he was attending. Howard had the impression the school was too tolerant, they shared Jay’s point of view about Louis. As sole parental guardian Hath decided to removing Louis from the school eliminate Louis’ contact with the wrong type of boys. Howard explains. Jay was never bothered how Louis always giggled whenever he was being hugged by other boys. One boy, a friend of Zayn’s, a schoolmate in Zayn’s year, two years older than Louis, was particularly close to Louis. Aiden’s friendship with Louis was not only accepted, but even promoted by Jay who liked Aiden’s mum. The friendship was no longer tolerated by Hath after Jay’s death. Aiden’s mother would try to plan for the boys to get together, suggesting it would help Louis with the tradgic loss, but Hath refused for the boys to have any contact.

The events that followed, Howard warns Harry before he discloses, is more twisted. Hath had hired a slew of tutors for Louis to give him a diverse, structured and very rigorous education. From the start the team of professionals he employed included Child Behavior Specialist. This seemed odd to hire a child psychologist because in every way Louis’ behavior was perfect. He was a polite child. Well-mannered. Playful, kind, happy except for the loss of his mum. At first the staff that Jay’s death was the reasoning for the psychologist. What else could it be? The staff would soon learn.

Howard shares how the the psychologist, apparently had a set behavior he was secured to address; make Louis learn to behave like other boys. No one on staff were sure how he was going about doing this until one day when he was working with Louis in the study behind a closed door, like he always did, and something terrible happened. 

The most shocking thing imaginable played out in front of the entire staff as Hath happened to come home unexpectantly during the time the psychologist was with Louis. The discovery of the approach to the “therapy” lead to fists with Hath getting the better of the man when their fight erupted from the study.

Surprised by Hath being home mid-day, apparently the psychologist, was caught with his pants down. Literally. 

Hath burst out of the study seconds after he entered it. He was dragging the half naked man, beating him, being unpersuaded by the man’s defensive pleas. The psychologist was heard to say it was all Louis’ fault, that Louis was only going to get over being so irresistible around men if the he was broken of his deviant habit of natural seductiveness. 

Hath was totally unhinged by the suggestion that Louis creates the desire. “You expect me to believe he seduced you so you had to force him to suck your dick!”

The man was tossed out the front door, no pants. The staff were in shock. Even more so when Hath turned his rage to his son. 

Howard said Louis was standing at the door to study as the man was thrown out looking like he didn’t know what he was to do. He was partially undressed. Frightened, clearly. Silent. Eyes down.

Hath took him by the back of the neck, Howard tells Harry, “I remember thinking how the child needed his mum so much, someone to provide him comfort, assurances, but his father took him by a hand gripping hard on his neck. He walked Louis up to his room. It was many hours later when they saw Hath again, Howard said. That was the start of something new. Darker. Louis was behind closed doors for two days after that. When the house staff saw him next he was barely able to walk without pain, his face, neck, bruised. His hands had scrapes. His wrists marks like they were cut into by something like a rope. Later we discovered it was a ripped bed sheet Hath used to tie him”

Given the life Harry has come from, given his role participating in a sexual act with Louis but without Louis’ consent, perhaps even if the intention was to ward off a worse outcome for Louis, Harry’s not really able to put any of this in his already challenged mind without becoming sick. He has Howard stop the car. Harry leans out to purge. 

How could the people working there not act in the defense of the child?

Howard lets Harry ginish being sick. He offers Harry some tissues before going on further describing how person after person on staff was put in a comprising position by Hath forcing their silence. Most were gone by week’s end. All who were pushed away were so forced out by fear.

Fear of Hath. 

Harry has to ask. “How likely is it...I mean is, is it possible that Hath could be dangerous. Really dangerous, I mean...like capable of murder?”

Howard’s body stiffens. His voice drops. “Harry he’s been molesting his son since Louis was eleven. How is that not a murder done slowly? I knew what Louis was like before his mum died. I know what he was like as he was grieving her loss but had his friends, but getting imprisoned to be made into the man Hathaway Tomlinson wants his heir to be? Applying the psychologist’s “therapy” himself on the child? After the sexual abuse started, Louis been a very different person than he should be. He’s only been happy, himself, when he’s able to be among other people who accept him.”

Howard speaks with passionate about Louis which suggests that Howard is trying to be there for the boy.

“Howard, I, I’m sorry but you’re staying in Tomlinson's service. You’re seeing this ongoing routinely. How is it that Liam said, no wait Zayn said, at sometime awhile ago things got better for Louis with Hath. Like they were as awful as it could be but then got better for a bit. Not much evidence of that now. I mean, right now it seems like so much worse than anyone could ever endure. What happened? Why the car thing, I saw you pick him up one day at the park. A whistle sounded and Louis took off. Got into this car. I know he’s been out playing football occasionally. Sometimes maybe he’s at the neighbors. People, like you are seeing him through this. But still he’s in hell. Trapped, abused.”

Howard pulls the Bentley to the side of the road a second time. Not because Harry is sick.

He looks at Harry with the car stopped, his eyes watering. This shows the man’s compassion is real though it’s unimaginable. 

“Where am I taking you?” Howard asks. It’s only then that Harry realizes the late hour and he trying to think who is where now of the group of friends that he thinks he can count as Louis’. Team Louies.

Liam likely not yet leaving work at the restaurant. Niall likely sleeping; probably surrounded in bed by a passel of mewing kittens. Zayn? Zayn, being an artist, Harry knows has a habit where his creative time peaks at night. Zayn might be awake at his studio on campus.

Howard drives Harry there. Going into the art building of campus it’s so active with one wouldn’t guess it’s late at night. Artists though. So frequently art-types live on another plane, temporal included. Finding Zayn painting with music blaring Harry has never seen Zayn less concerned to abandon his work than Zayn becomes when Harry tells him everything. Encountering Hath molesting Louis, trying to intervene, the tragic news about Aiden. 

Even though Zayn has been a friend of Louis’ for years it was all too much to hear how things had recently turned worse for Louis, incomprehensible to hear about the shooting of Aiden. Zayn goes pale. He only says to Harry “Liam, we gotta go, now, go find Liam.” 

Liam is still at the restaurant. His reaction is exactly like Zayn’s. He goes pale. He looks to be sick. Harry was sick whe all of this settled in on him as Howard revealed the long dark history so he understands. Liam clearly hoped Harry had made some effective disruption in Louis’ typical fate in his father’s hands. 

Liam takes them to a isolated table away from any patrons. This is not a challenge as the hour is late and few diners remain, most guests are clustered at the bar having after dinner cocktails. At the table the three talk. Liam finds copies of the newspapers for the last five days online. Sure enough. There’s a report of a death of a young man being investigated that reads like what Hath shows Louis though the victim is not named. Then he finds in the issue of the paper a few days later there is an obituary and funeral plans given for Aiden Charles Visser. 

Only nineteen Aiden was a star athlete and a scholar. He had a long list of accolades for someone so young giving the impression this was a young man with a great future ahead of him. He was the youngest of four brothers and part of a big family that would be putting him to rest in two days. 

Heartbroken Harry, Liam and Zayn make a plan to contact Niall in the morning and together makes sure they all contact as many of Aiden’s friends as possible for attending the funeral. What about Louis? Being neighbors Zayn said he would try to see him and make a plan to bring Louis, the fear being if Aiden was killed in fowl play because Hath discovered Aiden and Louis have been seeing each other, how would they do this when it’s obviously put him at greater risk of harsher abuse. 

***


	16. Chapter 16

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Aiden’s funeral. First Louis siting since the twisted threesome.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is full of typos so might be hard to read but the update posted earlier today drops the story in a weird place so I blasted this together. It brings focus to the way the story was teased to be about Harry being our hero despite his adversities. Enjoy the read/ it will be edited over the next day before the next segment. (Aiden’s house/ insights/ clarity discovered maybe.)

The Visser family must have deep roots in London’s elite. How else would they have a family plot where they do. Harry arrives to the cementary with Liam, Zayn, Niall to find all Aiden’s, and Louis’, football teammates are arriving in groups as well. The family is clustered with the clergy who appears to be making some private comments to the family before this service starts. It’s a large extended family that is present but picking out Aiden’s brothers is easy. They stand with Aiden's parents as the clergy talks to them, each bother has an arm on a parent. Harry imagine the parents can’t possible manage without their sons support; why should they be buring a son so young?

The brothers’ appearances confirm Harry’s initial impression of Aiden as a resembling a family of Nordic gods. The three older brothers, maybe each about a year or two older in succession, look like the famed images of Thor. All are tall, well-built, striking-looking. One brother even has long hair. He could pass as Thor’s stunt double. 

For two days, since they met at Payne’s, Harry has been desperate to see Louis. Know how his is. Zayn has made it the singular focus, Niall too, as Tomlinson’s neighbors, to try to see him in the time between that meeting and now to no avail. So far Harry remains the last to have seen him. Every effort the other two boys made to get into the Tomlinson’s home has been ineffective. Zayn pestered the sponatnoues visit to the neighbors to such extend that his father even became suspicious. Why all of a sudden so pressing is it to make a social call to the Tomlinson’s? 

The best that Zayn and Niall were able to do was get a few words exchanged with Howard. Howard was already aware of the funeral. He knew his employer’s schedule and was formulating a plan to bring Louis if Hath stayed with his plans for the day of the funeral. He also had to admit, he hadn’t seen Louis either, not since the night Harry came back to the house with Hath. This wasn’t particulalry reassuring, but then the four lads talk among each other about it and hope it’s just that Louis was too grief stricken and wasn’t outside of his room, maybe to avoid scrutiny by Hath and consequently further abuse.

By the time the clerics benedictions and family bible readings had gone through most of the listings on the printed program for the funeral program, who knew religious people could be so eager to read so much of the Bible, Harry began to think Louis would not come. But then he saw it. 

Blue Bentley. 

Howard drops Louis as close to where the road through the cementary allowed him to the congregation. Louis gets out looking like everyone else, dressed for a somber occasion. Something about the way he wears the suit though, Harry’s stomach flips. 

It’s the most traditional-looking suit Harry has seen Louis wear. Being that the day is sunny, and perhaps for another reason, Louis is also wearing Aviators so he still makes his attire look fresh, stylish, almost too cool for the somber occasion.

It’s only when Louis gets closer, walking slower than normal for his enegeritic nature, that Harry takes store of another reason for the sunglasses. He’s still bearing visible bruises though they have transitioned. He must have chosen not to camouflage with makeup probably because tears would only wash makeup away. 

Louis is within ten feet from the large assembly of mourners before he looks up from his path through the grass across which he walked. Seeing the four of them he comes to them. As they welcome him in whispers he ends up in the middle, Harry and Zayn to one side, Liam and Niall flanking them. All four put arms behind anyone beside them accept Louis. He seems incapable of even lifting a finger, yet alone and arm. Nevertheless it’s such a relief that Louis is here, Harry thinks. The lack of new bruises is the only thing uplifting though; Louis’ composure doesn’t hide his pain.

As the service ends it’s expected that a procession will make a line to give words individually to family. Breaking with tradition Aiden’s mum literally bolts free of Aiden’s father and her three sons. She goes quickly to Louis. Louis was tear-free through the entire service once he got there. It was like he couldn’t have an emotion becuase there has been so much he’s vacant, devoid of reserves. His disconnect makes him so that he’s a little caught by surprise when he looks up as Aiden’s mum brings him into her in a loving embrace, hers tears becoming uncontrolled as she does this .

She pulls away leaving stains on Louis’ jacket. Her stature is half hers sons generic contribution so she’s tall for a woman her age, at least an inch or two over Louis’ height. Once she’s pulled back she brackets Louis’ face gently in her hands, “Louis, my son, my sweet sweet son. Please come stand with us.”

Louis looks shocked. He shakes his head “no”, looking down. “Can’t, can’t breathe.” He says not wanting to be rooted from his spot, maybe more so among so many people. 

She understands. Clearly. She gives him another hug and speaking into the side of his head she gives him instructions so that the other boys can hear. 

“We must have you among the family back at our home. Not taking a no, from you. The death of my son doesn’t make you less my son-in-law. Ceremony or not, as Aiden’s fiancé, you belong with us.”

She looks at the four lads bunched tight with Louis, and says, “You boys will come too, bring Louis, Aiden wouldn’t have it any other way. Please.”

One of the brothers comes to collect his mum for the retuning her to the receiving line. It becomes apparent how family-wide acceptance of Louis is because the brother doesn’t sideeye Louis. In fact he puts a hand on Louis’ shoulder before leading his mum away and he’s beautifully soft with Louis.

“Louis be with us. Please. Aiden would, we, we want you to be always a part of out family.” Aiden’s brother ends his brief remark by putting a finger under Louis’ chin. He lifts Louis’ downward directed face. It occurs to Harry that Louis’ eyes were down again like Louis fears that he bears some reason for shame. The brother, Harry will later learn, is Beck, pulls his finger away and bops Louis’ nose like he is a small child. Harry feels tears breaking. Is it for his sorrow for this beautiful family, the future Louis had? 

Or is it more than that?

Harry had no family for him. Even in Aiden’s death, Louis has the Visser family. What would Harry’s life be like if he’d have even a distant aunt of uncle?

But then again, Louis also has Hath. A father only on paper. A man who likely murdered or made murder happen. In the balance of life Harry believes unfair is common. Right is rare. But if he can do one thing in his tradgic existence that might turn his own life around it might be that he saves someone elses whose reality is, matter of opinion, but maybe, a shade worse than Harry’s.

***


	17. Chapter 17

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After the funeral Harry meets Aiden’s family, shares his first proper kiss with Louis, as the diary is discovered. 
> 
> A proposition.

Harry takes the suggestion to take the Bentley with Louis to get to the Visser’s home. Howard opens the door for them and as soon as they are in the back of the car Louis comes into Harry’s lap more or less, weeping. Harry’s got nothing to say with this breakdown, at least nothing he believes will make Louis cease so he just puts his arms around Louis, holds him, lets him cry, offers little kisses on the top of Louis’ head.

When they get to the Visser’s home. Louis has had a good long cry. It’s made his eyes that sapphire blue shade again. He seems ready to wall himself back in that tearless, emotionally frozen Louis he was at the funeral. Eyes down. He even puts the sunglasses back on. 

Inside the home it’s a smaller gathering of people from the funeral. Again Aiden’s mum, Patti, comes directly to Louis to gather him to her. She introduces herself to Harry before Louis can. Giving Harry a warm reception she then takes the two of them into the roomwhere most the food is. Telling them she needs to see why the tea cakes aren’t out yet she addresses Louis one more time before going off to see about the missing pastries. 

“You lads should have some sweets, espically you Louis. You look awful, bet you haven't eaten in days, you look positively gaunt. Now have some food and then Louis, you’re welcome to go up to Aiden’s room. If there is anything in there you want, please take it. I still can’t being myself to step in his room yet so I’ll understand if you want to stay down here.”

Patti leaves to see about the missing treats that seem unnecessary as there are no open places for more among the existing trays of finger food.

Harry begins to notice it’s mostly just family here. No friends from football. He texts Zayn and asks where the others are. Zayn replies back that they are at a pub. Beer. Boysterousness over a fallen of their year. 

Harry looks up from the text to see Louis. He’s standing by the food, Beck, the only brother Harrys met yet, is piling food onto a plate he pushed into Louis’ hands. Louis is staring at the growing mound of food like it’s repulsive. Beck is mothering him just like Patti did, telling Louis that he looks thin. Eat. 

Another Visser brother bounds over to Louis and Beck. It’s the most Thor-like double. He playfully puts Louis head in an arm lock and touses Louis’ hair rough enough to make Louis loose half the food to the floor that Beck put on the plate. This gregariously affectionate brother of Aiden’s loudly childes Beck. He says Beck needs to stop being motherly and let Louis be. Can’t Beck see he’s not able to eat? He then pulls up a stiff looking drink, scotch possibly, and a double, neat. He takes the glass to under Louis’ nose and says, “Drink this. Death is better facing with a full glass than a full stomach.” 

Harry gets the idea this brother is wild one. He also hears Beck call him Grayson as Beck says to “Thor”, “Fuck off, Louis needs to eat, he’s too young for that stuff.” 

Louis looks between them for a split second of double takes then he sets the plate down taking the drink. In one quick go he downs the entire thing. The brothers go into hysterics. Grayson seems surprised. “Shit Louis, I wasn’t serious, that was three shots!” 

It seems to immediately go to Louis’ head because he puts his hands over his face while saying. “Spinning. Room is spinning.” 

A third Visser joins the three as does Harry aware the other two have mishandled things. This must be the moderator brother. “Give him some air you idiots.” Moderator brother gets a chair as if from nowhere under Louis as three Nordic god look-alike lads guide Louis to sit. Louis instantly puts his head between his hands as he folds forward, head to his knees. 

Harry standing there gets some attention. They mix interest in Harry’s presence with doting on Louis. 

“I’m Harry.” Harry’s says not sure he can extract Louis from these three and feeling suddenly out of place at what is a family only thing. 

“Harry?” Says Grayson. Something dawns on him. He looks at Beck and asks, “Harry, as in t h e Harry?” 

Beck affirms it with a head nod while asking Louis is he needs water, or maybe something to vomit into. 

Grayson stands from where he was along side Louis’ level once Louis sat. 

Harry is immediately aware of how these boys are built. They are all so tall. Taller than him by a couple inches. Muscular. Made for battle. Feeling small, insignificant and since he was already feeling out of place Harry wonders ....why the “t h e Harry” emphasis upon hearing his name? 

Harry can only assume it’s either his reputation proceeded him, Harry the expensive escort. Or. Or maybe that he was someone whom Aiden mentions as noteworthy to his brothers even though he and Harry only encountered each other that one time, just before Aiden’s murder. 

It could also be both. They know who Harry is, his work, and Aiden mentioned him because his one time with Aiden, Louis, Zayn, Niall was unique in some way. 

“Well I’m Grayson, this is Soren, and I think you met Beck at the funeral.” 

Grayson’s acceptance with a handshake takes off the edge of discomfort but still Harry wonders. Is it one thing, the other thing, or both things? 

Before three sets of acknowledgments are finished Patti is back. With an “oh dear” she pushes into this tight group. 

“Louis, sweetie, why don’t you go have a lie-down babe. Go on.” She pulls Louis up. Her sons yield to their mother like they are still her little boy’s and not these strapping, grown men. Louis standing is unstable. It’s the grief, it’s the alcohol. It’s likely the lack of food. She gives him over to her sons, Beck and Grayson taking him in arm. 

“Get him up to Aiden’s room, will you.” She looks at Harry. “Go on. You go too. Keep an eye on him.” 

Harry gets the feeling Aiden has certainly said something to all of them. He tells her thank you, he’s not even sure for what, then he follows. The two boys take Louis up stairs. They pass several bedrooms. Seems the boys have matured out of the home. Harry asks, it’s personal but he’s curious. Aiden was Harry’s age. He can live away from home. He goes to Uni. There are flats closer to campus than the family home. Sure it’s nice but why live with your parents. So he asks. Personal or not? He does try for subtle. 

“So do you all still love at home?” 

Grayson shoots him a look. “Of course not. Aiden was the baby so we’ve all been of on our own for years. He could have been too. But Aiden wanted to save money, live at home. He had his reasons.” 

Grayson pauses looking back at Harry following them. Then like that they are stoped at a bedroom door, presumably Aiden’s because it’s closed. The others were open. Louis is grief-drunk where they brace him. Grayson has made an Assessment before he speaks again. An honest assessment. 

“He had plans to pay for his own wedding, which he insisted he do even though our family would be honored to pay for it. He lived here to help save for that. Also he thought it was better to have a safe environment, less scrutiny about his lifestyle it at a private family residence. Someplace safe. Safe for Louis.” 

With that they open the door. The door to Aiden’s sanctuary. A place he and Louis could be and not have any eyes judging them. A place of tolerance and love. Surely it was hard enough for Louis to get out all all without Hath discovery. Why else the things like a coded way of calling Louis off a crowded park like the whistle. 

The brothers lay Louis on the foot of the bed the brothers excuse themselves. Harry thanks them. Again he’s not sure for what. 

Then he looks around before looking down a a fading Louis as he tries to decide how to make Louis comfortable. Shoes. Shoes off is safe. Once their off Louis seem to snap into wakefulness. He rolls over to hands and knees on the bed the begins to crawl on hands and knees up the bed to the pile of pillows. Knowing the one he wants, Aiden’s favorite probably, he tosses a few aside until he finds The One. Content with it, he plops down on the bed with the pillow wrapped in his arms his face buried in it drinking in the scent it keeps. 

How the sobbing spears into Harry’s own heart. He goes to Louis and gets on the bed with him, Harry spooning Louis, Louis wrapping himself around Aiden’s pillow. 

Louis pushes the pillow away from him after a few minutes like its either gotten him too much more unbearably deep in sorrow or like he wants to preserve it’s Aiden-ness rather that soil it with his tears. His face uncovered he begins bordering on hyperventilating. 

Harry doesn’t know what to do...do something. 

He really shouldn’t. 

He does anyway. He kisses Louis. Soft at first. Once Louis accepts the surprise Harry drives the kiss hard, hard enough to force the pain causing Louis his problem ventilation to become destracted, weakened. It’s minute more before Harry feels Louis release. Pain pushed aside Louis goes from accepting the kiss to giving back. It’s second after Harry feels Louis tongue get emboldened to go game with his that Harry realizes he has this broken, overwrought, grieving boy getting pleasure from their kiss. 

Harry doesn’t give up. He continues kissing Louis, Louis kissing back until he feels he has to stop because Harry’s got precum making his pants decidedly wet. Harry takes Louis away from their kiss by putting his hands on Louis’ face gently making him still where he is on the bed as Harry leans back. 

Instantly Louis turns his head into the bed under him and begins crying through his spoken thoughts. 

“How is that possible? How is it? How is it that you kiss like him? So much like him. How is it that you eat me out like him? So much I thought I was waking to him? How was that even possible? What are you even? It’s like you’re an angel he brought to me because he knew he was lost.” 

Harry knows for a fact no one has clever called him an angel. Complemented him for his kiss, his body, the sex? Yes. But has anyone ever considered him as an angel incarnation made by their lover for them in their time of need? No. 

Harry can’t answer because just like that Louis is asleep. Exhaustion taking him. 

He shifts so Harry thinks he’s more comfortable dispite his tailored suit and tie, but he keeps sleeping, wrong clothing or not. It’s likely it’s exactly what he needs. Harry spends the next hour watching him sleep and memorizing every single tiny detail. Harry’s favorites? Hard to say. 

The lashes, the insanely thick eyelashes? Yes. His lips. Maybe, at least now that Harry’s have met Louis’, the lips could be a favorite. His skin? Oh sure. It’s so flawless under the bruises. Just to make sure it’s not a canvass but actual skin which should have marks of some sort he has these few and far between freckles that make a constellation of sort. After over an hour of indecisiveness about what feature is his favorite Harry gives up on that. He begins to look around Aiden’s room. 

Aiden’s room is full of trophies and awards. He’s a specimen to behold in every picture of victory. Every award for merit or achievement. 

The most abundant thing that fills the room is favorite pictures. More than other subjects he’s collected memories where he’s in them with Louis, or just Louis; Louis on the pitch. Louis with their group of friends. Louis at a pool. Pool Louis is a a particular paradox to behold. Bronze skin, muscular legs. That, with a tiny chest and the smallest waist. The twink form supreme which Harry had exposed before him that night when Hath let Harry come along. It’s dizzing to look at Louis now with the bruises because it freshens the image Harry has burned into his brain of Louis’ body. 

There are also many pictures of Louis in closeup where anyone who knows lovers would know these are photos of special moments, the after time that comes when a lover is soft, dreamy contented. There’s nothing hinting pornographic about the pictures just the impression of taking a snapshot of Louis after being lovers. The emotions captured by Aiden’s photos of his lovers cause Harry to shudder. Aiden should not have died. Not for loving Louis like he did. Not for promising Louis a better tomorrow. 

Harry realizes he has been drawn into the pictures examining them close. He’s incidentally leaning on a chest of drawers so he can see the tiniest details. Behind him Louis is slumbering with soft breathing. Harry wants to let him be peaceful like that when he realizes that in leaning, to look at the photos his hand is resting on top of a book which is on the chest of drawers. It’s a leather-bound book with a cover that looks worn from years and years of use. 

He opens it randomly to some page in the middle because its cover bore no markings but it’s worn condition made it compelling. 

Handwritten on the page is an entry. It has a date at the start of the passage. Aiden would be fifteen. Louis thirteen. “Was our first time doing the whole, big thing today. Was so worried it would hurt Louis to take all of me, or bring up the pain of his sexual assault at home but it was incredible!!!” 

Harry slams the book shut. It’s a diary. His diary, Aiden’s, and in it is the story of them.

Perhaps Harry slamming the diary shut is too loud because Louis sits up suddenly, stark awake. He’s sitting on the bed and shaking for a few seconds before he suddenly takes store of where he is. He looks around shaking more, his eyes settle on Harry.. 

Harry’s worry? That Louis will see in his hand is the violation. He’s taken a glimpse of that which is not his to take. 

No Louis doesn't register the diary under Harry’s hand. He simply looks at Harry like Harry might have hope; like Harry might hold some promise. 

That’s right. 

Harry wants to believe. He could be an angel. 

Clarity building Louis assesses things getting his bearings. “I fell asleep?” 

Harry shakes his head. 

“It’s afternoon?” 

Another nod from Harry. Harry tries not to think too much about how newly woken Louis looks like a child younger than seventeen. Entirely too pristine, pretty, perfect to be this abused, grieving tragedy. 

“Yes”, Harry answers. 

Louis jumps up. Off the bed, pacing around. Shaking, his behavior indicating he’s frightened by the hour. 

Harry is about to stop his frantic pacing when Louis stops and says. “We have to go. Now. I need to be home before he is.” 

Harry nods again. He holds in his hand the diary. Louis still hasn’t noticed. Luckily as Louis begins to frantically look around his movements are so lacking composure he doesn’t see how Harry drops the book onto a desk when he has his back turned. When he turns back his eyes land on the diary immediately, his desperation once heightened, abates. Seeing the diary Louis siezes it. 

Saying to Harry, unaware Harry picked it up, read a singular sentence, “Thank god. Here it is. Let’s go.” 

The book in one hand, Louis takes Harry’s hand in the other. They open the door as Beck is about to knock on it. 

“Louis,” Beck says softly realizing how Louis was likely just sleeping as he seems still sleepy, much like a child who should be cuddled and put back to bed. 

Acknowledging Harry with a nod he moves to direct. “...Louis, Howard came to the door. He wants you to come now, go quickly before your father gets home.” 

In the Bentley Louis doesn’t crawl into Harry’s lap like he did earlier. Rather Louis sits in his own seat, the book in his hands, staring at its cover, void of expression. He’s clearly working out his emotions, putting his mind into a framework, a framework for going home to his horrible, unforgivable step father. 

“Howard? Are you going to go pick up Hath after dropping Louis off, how does this work?” 

Howard shakes his head no. “I don’t drive the Sir everyday. He’s got several motor cars. I’m gong to get Louis home, best be quick though. So I was actually going to drop you in town before we turn to go to the manor, if that’s okay? Otherwise you could wait in the car. Once Louis is home, Hath gets back, he’ll usually send me out for something, catering. I could drop you anywhere you’d like then.”

“Thank you Howard. I’m not going to risk giving Hath any chance of accidentally encountering me, better drop me anywhere along the way to the house. I can manage.” Harry looks over at Louis who’s cocooning himself more and more into an emotionless capsule. “Just take care of Louis.” 

Louis snaps to look at Harry. His face vacant except for a hint of furrow in his eyebrows giving a hint he’s fearful. “Harry, can you take this for me, keep it with you. Please. I can’t risk him finding it.” 

Louis pushes the diary to Harry. Harry can tell he’s regretting it’s distance from him the second he does that. 

“Sure Louis. Of course. Do you want me to give it to Zayn, or ...” 

“No! Just keep it. You know if the Malik’s or the Horan’s get anything like that they go directly to him. I trust Zayn and Niall but their fathers are homophobic arses. That’s why Zayn’s parents split up. Me friends are doing like Aiden was, living at home until I turn eighteen just to be close to help me when they can. Both would rather live around Uni, Zayn would like to live full time with his boyfriend, but they’ve been staying in their father’s houses next door, all so if I could try to see Aiden, they’d help me like Howard does. Just keep this for me. Please. It’s...it’s Aiden. Or it’s least all I have left of him now.” 

Harry shudders thinking of this. “Of course I will. Anything Louis, anything.” 

Louis appears to be giving something much thought. Is he going to say something about reading it? Like don’t? What he says goes to a completely unfathomable direction. “And for earlier. In Aiden’s room, thank you. Thank you for that. I don’t understand it but I liked it.” 

Harry’s astounded. Louis is thanking him for taking liberty to kiss him? 

Before Harry can put thoughts into words Howard pulls over. It’s the intersection where anyone going to the Tomlinson, Malik, Horan neighborhood would have to make a turn. Once the car is stopped Harry gets out. He thanks Howard. To Louis he says “Louis never old you have to thank me, particularly someone like me, for anything. Ever. Just be careful.” 

Once the car pulls away Harry watches it for the entirety of the time it’s in view. Then looking down at the diary for a second he gives thought to the implication of holding it in trust. He’s walking for perhaps a minute before a car pulls over like to see if he needs a lift. 

Harry gets this a lot. He’s had people set a patch of rubber screeching to a stop for him without him even appearing to hitchhike. Something about his looks compels them. This car is going the opposite way he wants to walk so he’s ready for the proposition. It’s an Austin Martin so the driver potentially has correct financial credentials. The driver must have reached over to open the passenger door wanting to be not subtle at all. A voice calls to him. 

“Intern, would you care to get in?” 

Harry takes a few steps to the car. He leans over the open door letting the diary-holding hand rest on the roof of the car while he talks. Prostitue or not, he doesn’t get into a motorcar, even a nice one, without negotiations first. Besides this is no normal negotiation. When he heard the moniker of “Intern” he knew this is one of Hath’s other cars. 

“What do you know, so now Hathaway Tomlinson is looking for and I n t e r n...funny that.” 

Hath snorts, “Right, get in. I have a proposition.” 

Harry gives this great consideration. As soon as he joins Hath in the care he regrets it because Hath actually gives the diary more that a passing glance. Maybe it’s just because it’s odd to see a person Harry’s age, so formally dressed, like for a attending a funeral, and carrying a book while just out for a casual walk. But Hath dismisses it as he starts to drive once he asks Harry where Harry would like to go. Harry’s says Payne’s because he’s not going to give this guy his address, not the guy who has been molesting his step son for years, a guy who most likely hired a hit on his step-son’s fiancé. 

They drive. Hath describes the “internship” specifications.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Do we want to see what is in the diary?


	18. Chapter 18

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Twisted proposition from Hathaway.

Hath takes the long route from they intercepted each other to Payne’s. Harry’s not bothered, he’s encountered this behavior many times before. This “internship” position description is a longer discussion Harry assumes than a simple ten, fifteen, minute discussion. Harry knows this puts him figuratively in the driver’s seat on negotiations. 

“So I’ve been thinking about you since the other night” Hath leads off. He realizes how it sounds and hard-corrects to clarify. “Not like thinking-thinking about you! I’m not gay,” 

Right. Harry is thinking now, he’s thinking, “not gay. Just a monster, being gay is okay, but right. You’re not gay. Just a child molester so that is okay. A murderer, most likely that too, but gay? No.”

“I mean, I’m not gay.” Hathaway explains. “Louis is. And after his mum died I tried to get him help. No Tomlinson has ever been, or ever will be, gay. Homosexuals are deviants. It must be stamped out. You need to understand I loved his mother very much. Too much. I saw the way Louis was becoming. Other lads his age all wanted to play war games, with swords. Not him. No. He was gentle, soft, too kind. He liked the sports, was, is very good at them, but after, when he was younger, if left to his choice he be sitting with the girls having tea, swinging, blowing bubbles, anything other than hitting and being hit like lads like to do . By the time his mum died he already had your type coming around him, lads a few years older than him. They smelled it on him.”

Hath turns again taking a route adding time for this conversation. His perspective on this is crazy to hear. Harry listens in silence. What does Hath want?

“So that’s it really. His smell, I mean his scent. The first time that I touched him, after I came home where I found him doing something for pleasing a man, Louis on his knees, at eleven years old for God’s sake, so his deviancy was strong, I didn’t realize how it would make me feel...to touch him. He smelled like Jay, certainly he looks like her, I threw him down to spank him and, god, he felt like Jay. I couldn’t resist squeezing him bum, the scent of him, the feel of him. I had to taste him...but no not like you did, not the gay thing. I kissed him. He tasted like her, like Jay, so much his mother’s son. I capitulated. I gave in to my needs, a man’s needs...you understand this wasn’t a gay thing, I’m no homosexual, I just need him. To be her.”

“Oh god how he fought me. I had to tie him, beat him, still he fought. Finally, at least I’d found a way to bring out his warrior side. You wouldn’t know this to look at him but Louis is fierce. He’s got a lion’s heart. He’s quick. He’s strong for his size. But he’s just unwilling to be a man. Men look at him and if he finds them attractive he blushes. A beautiful girl can try anything and he’s cold to her. Not interested. He responds only to men, Harry. He responded to you, your gay thing.”

Harry squirms in his seat. He notices Hath finally turns back like he’s about done and he’s going to drive directly to Payne’s. Harry can’t wait to get away from this. Diary intact. He does his best to put on his game face. Hath believes Harry is immoral because he sleeps with men. Harry can use this to an advantage.

“So here’s what I want from you. For your i n t e r n s h i p. I want you to come when I call and get Louis ready for me, like you did that other night. I don’t know how to explain this but I thought, at one point I was getting him over wanting dick. You see until he was about 13, he always just took it, his body didn’t respond well, he’d hurt for days and days. Then, puberty maybe, he got the changes and he also began to respond. He seem to cry less when I got in him, he would endure it and the thing happened. Suddenly I find he’d get me off so much better, his body milking my pleasure when he came. This got me confused, but I knew if I just fucked the gay out of him, he’d come around. About fifteen he flipped again. Not back to crying, he’d take it, oh he’d take it good. I’d get exhausted, fucking him so long, but he wouldn’t give me that type of orgasm that as his father was for me to have from his gay ass. That’s until recently he’s been like this, on sometimes, off at others. It’s like he’s trying to manipulate me. I don’t know what he’s doing, I suspected it’s him getting with someone, I don’t know. He’s got me spinning. I’m afraid, he gets me so crazy, I might accidentally hurt him too much. I could have an accident.”

Hath pulls into Payne’s and stops the engine. Looking Harry in the eyes he is direct. “Do you understand me Harry? I don’t want to lose him. I need to have him. He is my Jay now. He’s got her beauty, he’s got her body, well a boy version but he feels, smells, taste like her, his skin it taste like hers. I need to have him. But if he denies me. I could go too hard on him. Are you willing to come when I call and make him do what I need. You’d be helping him.”


	19. Chapter 19

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Harry gets a call for his “internship”. After, Harry is supposed to only stay get Louis to eat. This turns into Harry’s first violation of The Rules as he goes 69. Otherwise known as a lovers’ misunderstanding leads to passion.

Harry has been proactive since the interview for an “internship” with Hath. He’s put his clients on notice, alerting them that he might do an alternate date with them if an emergency arises. It’s been a week since Hath and he talked internship and Harry’s schedule has gone on uninterrupted. He’s also gotten to “pest status” with Zayn, Niall and Liam. Following the proposition, which he’s shared details of, they too are greatly more concerned particularly because not one of them has had even a single glimpse of Louis.

Harry’s gotten so anxious that he walks around his flat with the diary in hand and tries to resist discovering more about Louis. He always does respect the book, but his dreams don’t resist. They go hard in for Louis-fantasies. Even if Harry has spent hours with a client, topping or bottoming, he’ll come home, his body spent yet he will find he’s getting hard in the shower because he’s thinking about Louis. He wakes during the middle of his sleep having wet himself from his Louis-dreams. If Hath has anything right in his sick, sick way of thinking it might that Louis is an addiction. Once infected by Louis, he’s impossible to give up.

So Harry waits.

When the call comes Harry is fortunately free. He’s also caught in a weak state because of the long wait. Harry had just opened the diary and read its beginnings.

………………………………………………… 

“DearDiary...is that how I call you? I don’t know. It’s me, Aiden. Guess you know that because you are my diary. Maybe we can skip introductions from here on out because this seems weird.

Why are you here? 

That’s a long story. You’re just empty pages so maybe you have time to listen to my thoughts.

My mum said I should keep a journal because I wasn’t sure I could talk to her about this. Maybe not my father yet either. She said not to worry when I told her my fears are embarrassing. She said my brothers won’t laugh. Or tease me. Or anything like that either. She wrote in her card to me on my thirteenth birthday when she gave me this diary. She said that it’s time for me to learn to think about what kind of man I want to be. Isn’t that funny? A man. Me. Sure I’m getting bigger, things happen with my body now that are new. Odd, the changes, but she’s telling me I have choices about my manhood. She’ll love me through it all. The family will. My job entering my teens is to learn to make smart choices.

What are choices, smart or not? I guess they began a long time ago. Other lads my age started acting like girls who they had always played with from when they were babies are now weird to be around. Because girls are different than us. Apparently that’s stage one of gender identity awareness, my mum tells me. Now I really see it. The girls used to be friends, just like us. We played the same games, we liked the same things. Now we and them are different. My friends get these ideas. Ideas like girls have bad things, cooties. We lads need laddy-time, away from girls. Always from their cooties. The thing that makes me different is that is I don’t see girls different. They are still just, friends. My best lads say it’s supposed to be weird with girls-or- we will be trapped by them. They want us to marry them so we can kiss them and that’s ick, kissing, yuk. The weird thing is the other lads my year may act like they think girls are freaks but it’s not that. Some of them talk about how girls make a feeling in them that is oddly scary, and at the same time oddly wonderful. 

Not me. Me? My wonderful feeling: 

Here it goes. I like LT. That's right, LT, the tiny boy whose two years younger than me. He’s like the size of a peanut. He has blue eyes that sparkle. He giggles with his hand over his mouth like a girl and that makes my stomach into butterflies. When he talks his voice is high, he’s young so, the little kids all have higher voices but his is distinct sounding. I hear him on the yard when we play at recess and he’s loud, high pitched. I can’t stop looking for him becuase we don’t share classes so I need to see him on the yard. Sometimes I sit and watch him. Sometimes I don’t even want to don’t play, not even a football, with my best friends. 

But yesterday LT began playing football on the school team with me, my friends, my year. He got us all turned around. He was sassy and fast. The grown ups said we had to be gentle playing with Little Kids but LT got put into our group because he’s too good for his year’s team. We could be rougher, if he wanted to win a spot of our team he had to earn it. He didn’t mind it at all when we were rough with him, he liked it even. He talks like he’s this big person but he’s just tiny. Seems like we adopted him today. Then. It happened. 

Last night I woke up with a strange feeling. I didn’t know what it was. I went to as Beck. He let me crawl into his bed thinking I had a bad dream. I told him the feeling I had and he was quiet for a long time. I almost was asleep whe he wanted to know what I was thinking of when I had the strange feeling. I told him, LT. This boy with sparkly eyes. A pixie voice. A Peter Pan. Beck knows LT because our mums are friends. The T’s have been here in our house many times. We go to theirs. Beck was quiet for a really, really long time after that and I was afraid he hated me for telling him how LT made me feel. When he spoke he said I should write to you. Like mum said. He said I’m too young to understand chooses. Choices, again choices. What does that mean. Then he said go to sleep and started snoring.

So help me diary. What is this thing happening to me?”

………………………………………………………………… 

Before Harry can get to the next page his phone buzzes, the number gives id for Hath Tomlinson. 

***

Harry gets a cab to Tomlinson’s. He’s alerted Zayn, Niall, Liam he’s going there. Since Aiden’s murder they are all coordinating next level on planning to protect against the worse. Besides, Harry reminds himself, none of them has seen Louis since he day of Aiden’s funeral. Not even Howard. 

This is clearly not a situation to trifle with. Not with Harry having a confession from Hath shedding light into the root of the obsession Hath puts blame on Louis for. It’s Hath’s badge of righteousness to molest his step son because Louis is gay, a sub-class, an immoral in Hath’s mind. So the group of Louis’ friends try to prepare for every contingency. 

The plan for Harry right now? See Louis. See if he’s okay. Get Louis through the night. Get evidence of what is going on, maybe. Leave Louis better than Harry finds him. Walk out with any information that undermines the hold Hath has over the powerful who surround Hath some of whom must be turning a blind eye to a long running abuse.

Harry’s prepared...

...until he arrives at the manor, walks into the master suite that Hath, dressed only in a silk robe, leads him to.

Standing in the bedroom beside the bedpost, a silk scarf tieing him there with an impossibly tight knot, is Louis. He’s dressed in silk too. Just a pair of pajama pants. They are too big. They hang low such that the transition from his tiny waist to his ample bum is seductively emphasized. 

His bruises are faded, no new ones, which is the best thing Harry can process when he sees Louis tied, as Harry wonders how this situation can be anything other than crazy. Harry’s first impulse, call the police; go to a bathroom taking Louis with him, lock the door, call the police. 

But Louis sees its Harry with Hath and his reaction destroys all of Harry’s logic. 

Louis turns his head like a puppy trying to understand a challenge upon seeing it’s Harry. His hair is perfectly styled into this pixie pan ideal, his body half-exposed is sensual, bruises are muted so his bronzey-color is nearly pristine. He looks sexy as fuck tied, Standing there in silk, nearly naked. Harry fails to think of the run to the bathroom with Louis option before Hath strides to Louis and takes control in the room.

Hath cuts the silk freeing Louis. “See, I brought you this. My pussy boy’s linchpin.” Hath says to Louis. “He’s here to do that thing to you that you twinks like. Make your tiny hole just right, you’ll sit on Daddy’s cock, ride me until I can’t take it any longer the way your sinful body makes me need your whoring cunt to drag me into your sin. Harry will suck your pretty little prick. You’ll cum for Daddy making me cum. Daddy will fill your hole. Who knows, I might even let this whore eat my cum out of you, you’d like that wouldn’t you. His tongue in your sweet, sweet hole. Making your walls cream. Cream like a girl. Hum?”

 

Harry sees it a split second too late. Louis turns his glare sharp on Hath. He sasses. “I won’t, you can’t make him!”

It’s like lightning and thunder. Speed, the loud crack, the sound like a thunder clap. 

Hath hits Louis. The strike sends Louis tumbling. Harry’s on Louis before Louis stops his roll but Louis is dazed to a point he’s not reacting to Harry. His head lolls, his eyes are open but they don’t blink.

“Fucking hell, shit bag! Don’t touch him, you promised you wouldn’t hurt him if I came, fucking shitbag!”

Harry tires to gently to get a reaction from Louis, a red bruise forming instantly where Hath struck him. Hath paces back and forth. 

“Bitch youre only here to make Daddy’s twink cum. Not to renegotiate. If he sasses he gets a beating. He refuses, he gets a beating. You want it to stop, then you make him want to ride my dick. Maybe you do your internship really good and someday I’ll give you a bonus. You might get to fuck my cum from his sweet whole after I’ve filled it, maybe while he sucks my dick with his pretty mouth. We both get off happy.”

Harry gets a tiny bit of bile hit his throat with that. This won’t end. Not with Hath being this monsterous. Right now Harry can only do one thing. 

He picks Louis up. Louis is vaguely conscious. Harry puts him on the bed. He rolls Louis belly down. Pulls off the silk pj bottoms and marvels struck breathless at how perfect Louis is. He starts his undressing himself wanting only to make this good for Louis. Better than the last time. 

Much of what Harry does starts the same as before. His tender kisses, nibbles on bum, sloppy licking over a, as of now, pristine pink, tight hole. It hasn’t escaped Harry noticed that while the bruises have healed, Louis is also much more thin. At the funeral he seemed gaunt, Aiden’s family noted. As Harry works more into eating Louis’ arse, he realizes his hands run up above waist to feel more of Louis’ body that his fingers suggest Louis is more thin than Harry remembers. Louis has lost much weight. Fast. It sickens Harry. 

Harry stops. Looks around at Hath who’s behind them, standing with his robe open his hardon in his hand, wanking himself. 

“I need to kiss him. You agreed, anything I need to do, anything without fucking him, or his fucking his mouth, but anything else, to get him prepped, right? I need to kiss him, please.” 

Hath grunts but nods yes. “Sure, Intern, you can kiss him. If kissing your beautiful mouth makes him cum for me. Be my guest.” 

Harry rolls Louis to face up, lips meeting Louis’ so soft at first he’s not sure Louis would feel it. Slowly he works his way into more firm, tongue licking at Louis’ mouth without penetrating but like he’s asking. Louis opens his eyes. Hath can’t see this from his stance behind them.. 

Indescribable is Louis’ look at Harry. Cerulean eyes light upon Harry giving him a feeling of floating into some perfect world. Louis says nothing he just penetrates his gaze into Harry’e eyes. Harry fills the void of this unspoken place. 

In a whisper he says, “Louis? He’s only making me if you don’t want me.” 

Louis accepts Harry’s kiss that follows more engaged. He takes the first breath on the change to whisper, “You’ll die too.” 

Harry silences him as Hath comes to the side of them like he’s interested. This makes Harry kiss Louis harder, as if to show Hath he’s only toying with Louis as foreplay as he adds a hand reaching to take ahold Louis’ penis roughly. Louis is flaccid. Not surprising. Harry breaks the kiss and slides down to suck on it. It’s little effort before it’s success. Harry pops off leaving Louis bearing a semi. Showing this to Hath with a contrived smirk Harry returns to kissing Louis’ mouth. Hath walks back to behind Harry. Harry feels Hath’s stare on his bum. He wishes Hath would use him instead of Louis so he brings his bum up making himself more tantalizingly prone. 

Kissing Louis is something Harry supposes will get shut down soon. This occurs to Harry as he’s got Louis breathlessly being engaged with this. Before long Louis responds to Harry bringing his hands into Harry’s hair, his pelvis up to rut against Harry’s body above his. 

Becoming impatient, Hath slaps Harry’s arse, “Get on with it.” 

Just a split second after breaking the kiss, before Harry rolls Louis to face down, their eyes look into each other’s for a brief commincation. Louis’ eyes are a deep, deep blue, like the darkest of sapphires. They convey his arousal, his feelings about the kiss; maybe something about the way Harry kisses is similar to Aiden, like Louis said befor, or so it seems because Louis wants to hold this connection. 

Hath brings this to a stop, “Whore, I said get on with it. Get your filthy mouth to work.” 

A slap on Harry’s arse follows the cursing directive. It’s a strike made harder on Harry’s arse than the first. Harry tries to act like he’s not into this tenderness of the kissing Louis by responding with jerking Louis to lay backside up, pushing legs apart, pulling Louis roughly back to him before gripping Louis’ bum roughly fondling, then parting cheeks, spitting on his hole. It’s all for show. Harry’s aware his moves were not so rough as they looked to The Watcher. His intentions are to deceive Hath. 

With cheeks held parted by his hands he delves in. Wet, loud, sloppy licks trade with kisses, nibbles too as he makes suggestions about Louis’ taste, the fullness of his arse, the pretty pink color of his perfect little hole. After he gets Louis sensitive with his mouth his fingers join. There’s more talk of Louis ‘ tightness, his rim, how it “is so tight”. 

Like the before Harry has Louis yielding, tilting his pelvis to position himself prone, his hole wanting Harry narrates to Hath as it changes with time. How Louis taste is the next narration Harry shares with Hath in a filthy descriptive when Harry is finally able to lick his tongue into Louis after some fingering. 

”He so loves getting his hole tongue fucked, just like he did before” Harry says. “See how again he responds to my tongue on his walls, it makes him come up on his knees, thighs sensitive and quivering, his hole gives minute changes, tiny puckers.” 

Despite Harry’s intentions are playing Hath by the nasty way he speaks about Louis, Louis can’t stop the feeling Harry’s unmaking in him. 

Louis moans. 

Hath nearly jumps in to take Louis but Harry blocks him. “He’s not had my fingers enough. You agreed he’d be yours when I say he’s ready or you!” 

Hath scolds, “Get him there. He’s moaning like a whore on one of your fingers. If comes on your finger I’ll take it out on both your asses!” 

Harry focuses. He gets two fingers in Louis and he’s careful not to bring them close to Louis’ sweet spot. He’s challenged; Louis is pushing himself onto Harrys fingers, tilting himself to get there. Harry’s mind keeps saying the thing Louis confided the last time they were together. His brain says for Louis this feels like it’s Aiden, not Harry, doing this to Louis. Aiden’s kiss, Aiden’s mouth, Aiden’s fingers. 

Harry pulls his fingers out wanting to eat Louis’ more tongue-welcoming hole. His tongue has bearely had more that a few penetrations when Louis gasps the worse of all words. 

“Ohhh, ah-Aiddden.” 

Harry’s not sure, did Hath hit him? Or did he throw him? 

He’s not sure. When Harry’s head clears he’s hearing Hath slapping into Louis like he’s being whipped by the devil to make the boy bleed. Harry gets up off the floor, shouts at Hath, Hath stops. He breaks off and stands maybe only to push Harry and bring his complaint. 

“Bring that mouth of yours to where it’s useful whore!” 

Hath picks Louis off the bed where he was face down, taking Louis into his lap. He’s gets Louis impaled fully on his cock. One hand he holds Louis on his lap wrapping that arm around Louis’ torso, the other goes to Louis’ throat dangerously tight as he commands Harry. 

“Bring this cunt to orgasm for me, bring him for me now. I’m aching for his pussy to clench on my dick, when he rides me, ride Daddy clenching good and long.” 

Harry not sure Louis is capable; Harry goes down on him nevertheless. He got Hath’s upward thrusts working against him like Hath is sloppy in his trust because he got a building, a stirring in his core. Harry’s sure Hath’s going to come without Louis ever getting there because Louis is so empty from all the battering he was taking when Hath dazed Harry. Hath’s begins to exclaim, saying he’s coming as he curses Louis with all the worst of slurs about Louis when Harry feels Louis’ hands grip in his hair as Harry gets the first mouthful of Louis’ salty cum. 

In the course of Louis’ orgasm Hath becomes delirious. He shouts his pleasure. “Oh fuck yes mypusseyboy! Daddy’s little cunt! Can’t get enough dick in his boyhole, yeah, fucking ride Daddy, ride.” 

More or less that was the basics Harry got between guttural noises from Hath that indicated, late to start or not, Louis was pulling more pleasure from his twisted molester stepfather. 

Finished, Hath has Louis off his lap before Harry is prepared to move. Louis lands laying in a twist makes it most obvious, Louis looks very much thinner, his body undernourished. 

Harry’s just siting on the floor still dazed as Hath stands up, takes a step into Harry’s space, pointing to comment on his upper thigh. 

“Lick this clean, Intern.” 

Harry doesn’t want to. He looks at an unmoving Louis. 

“I said lick this!” 

Harry still doesn’t move. This infuriates Hath. He kicks Harry in the center of the chest and turns back to Louis. 

Flopping Louis onto his back, Hath straddles Louis, starts to shove his dick, satiated but not flaccid into Louis’ mouth. Louis doesn’t react. He lays there as Hath made him. 

This has Harry acting. “Wait! No! Got me dazed is all, you hit me. Of course, let me have some. Boys like me love licking Daddy clean.” 

Hath laughs. “Do you now? Fucking street whore. You’re pretty, give you that. My dick doesn’t need your trash mouth. Maybe my son wants it, just like he wanted...” 

Hath stops. He was about to say Aiden. He stopped. Maybe he thinks Harry didn’t know the name. Surely though, Hath is trained enough to avoid linking himself to people who’s deaths are under investigation. Instead Hath changes the subject, he doesn’t violate Louis’ mouth. He gives Harry directives. 

“Get him out of here. Clean him up, get him to eat some food for fucksake. He’s wasting away. Make him eat. Do whatever it takes as long as your dick isn’t in his hole. His pretty entrance is for his Daddy’s cock only.”

*** 

Getting Louis from the room to his own, into the bath Harry does just the same as he had before. He lets Louis sleep on his chest until the water feels like it’s turning too cool. Taking Louis swaddled in towels he puts Louis under the covers without waking him. What did Hath mean by “get him to eat”? The last time Harry was here Hath said to clean up and get out. Does he expect Harry to wake Louis and eat in the middle of the night? 

Harry decides sleeping Louis is too precious and it’s too late. Breakfast would be reasonable in, say, six hours. Taking a leap that is quite a risk, Harry slides into the bed beside Louis. He no sooner has settled next to Louis than Louis snugs himself into Harry’s body. He turns onto his side so his face nests against Harry’s neck, buried in hair. He slips one arm over Harry’s chest and a leg over Harry’s legs. It’s like Harry is Louis’ giant stuffed animal. Harry listens to Louis’ breathing while letting one of his hands run over Louis’ skin. He doesn’t realize he’s sleeping over until it’s a hint of daylight that wakes him. 

It’s early. The boy wrapped around him hasn’t moved. It’s sweaty where their bodies meet. Harry makes a simple move to slip away from Louis just a tiny bit. He doesn’t want to wake Louis so he moves in tiny increments. Letting himself have a few minutes to wake slowly he enjoys studying Louis. 

Honesty he doesn’t understand how anyone can have such thick, long lashes. They fan across Louis’ skin leading Harry’s eyes to study the fabulous cheekbones, so fabulous they should be featured in magazines and painted on billboards. Sadly one has a sore-looking red bruise. Harry fights an urge to kiss that. He should have perhaps iced the spot while they had a bath. Louis’ lips are parted and he’s breathing through his mouth. Harry could kiss him with his mouth like that, lips like one who is expectant of a kiss. 

Leaving fantasies aside Harry slides across the bed slowly until he’s out of it. He was told to make Louis eat something. Feeling cavalier about the risk to himself of being in Tomilinson Manor Harry wanders out of the room. It appears the house is empty. Making his way down the hall he passes Hath’s room. The open door reveals the room is vacant probably Hath is already off to work. 

Harry wanders through the massive home to the kitchen. It’s enormous. His flat could fit in the kitchen, twice! Making himself at home Harry begins to rummage for eggs, milk, flour, sugar. He also finds plenty of fruit, some sausages, cheese. 

An hour later when a plump older woman enters the kitchen she finds Harry wearing an apron pulling muffins from the oven, a tray set up prepared for tea, poached egg, sliced cheese, a bowl of assorted mixed fruit with a hint of cinnamon. 

“Well who do we have here? Has the Mister given me my leave?” 

Does she really really think Harry is the new cook? 

“Harry laughs. “Please excuse me, Ma’am. No. I’m Harry, and not the new cook. I’m just making breakfast for Louis. Mr Tomlinson said I should get him to eat.” 

The woman looks relieved, though understandably confused. Harry couldn’t possible look like a cook, but he’s got a warm smile for her and the effects of it make the woman blush. Still curious about the stranger in the kitchen she asks without asking. 

“Yes, yes, Louis hasn’t had much an appetite. Poor thing he moaps around like he’s lost his best friend. Hardly eats enough for a bird to live on...are you by chance here about that then, are you a friend or a psychologist?” 

“A friend. Just a friend.” Harry realizes the lie isn’t perfect. Louis doesn’t have friends who come here. 

The woman keeps studying Harry. He keeps smiling at her to break down her reserve. Harry’s smile always has that effect. Sooner or later everyone warms to him even those who would like to judge. Harry’s dimples and charisma in combination? A killer combination. 

Setting aside her curiosity, the cook snaps out of questioning and accepts this. The water for tea begins to boil, setting off the whistle from steam. “Well if your taking that tray up to Louis might needs some linens. The Mister likes a neat house. Not sure he approves of breakfast in bed, but if you can get Louis to eat, what he doesn’t know won’t hurt I guess.” 

With linens over his arm, a full tray in hand, Harry makes his way through the house managing to avoid spilling even a teaspoon of milk he’s brought in case Louis takes tea with it. The thing that is funny to him is that Harry is excited to learn all the type of ‘little things’ about Louis. Does Louis like milk in his tea? Sugar or Honey? Maybe nothing? What is his favorite fruit? Is he a fan of poached eggs or does he like them some other way. Even more amusing to Harry is how he’s not sure why any of things should matter to him becuase he’s never felt this way about anyone else before. 

Before having met Louis Harry’s really only ever been concerned himself with the little things about people that make him money. He knows every kink, every trigger, for every client. He couldn’t say he knows a single thing mundane about any of them like how they take tea. With regard to Louis these types of things are important. 

Harry finds Louis as he left him. Sleeping. He’s shifted to his tummy, that is the only change. 

Setting the tray on a table beside the bed Harry whispers. 

“Louis?” 

Louis shoots up. He’s awake in a fright, positioned siting with his legs folded under him with a frantic, wildness to his face before he realizes he’s just in his bed. A breakfast beside it. 

And Harry. 

“Harry?” Louis asks getting off the bed and taking ahold of Harry. Maybe he needs to get a grip on Harry because Harry could be a mirage. “What are you doing here? How can you be here? You can’t be here!” 

Louis sounded frantic in his quesions. He looks around fearfully without his eyes settling anywhere. “You can’t be here!” Louis says again verifying his fear is for Harry...Harry’s safety. Did Aiden ever sneak in to Tomlinson Manor? Wake Louis with breakfast in bed while The Barrister was at work? 

Harry smiles at Louis and puts his hands on Louis’ cheeks. “It’s okay. I made breakfast. I was told by him last night to make you eat something. So I made you this. After I let you sleep, sleep here with me. Safe” 

Louis isn’t wavering. “But you can’t be here! He’ll, he’ll...” 

Harry has Louis in his arms interrupting Louis’ panick. He makes his hold firm and comforting. Louis is nude, Harry’s attempt to comfort must be warming for him because he presses back harder into Harry letting his face be buried in Harry’s chest, quiet for a minute. Harry hushes him. Kisses the top of his head. 

When Louis speaks again he seems ready to cry. “You have to go. If he finds you’re still here, he’ll kill you.” 

Harry pulls back to enable his fingers to cup Louis’ chin to make Louis’ look him in the eyes. There it is. Cerulean looking at him. Fright in his eyes, but beautiful to the core. “Okay, I’ll go before he knows I’m still here. First, you eat. Looks like you’ve not been doing that much. So you eat. I’ll watch. When I think you’ve had a proper meal I’ll go. And don’t worry, if he comes home before you finish breakfast I’ll leave through the window. In my occupation it’s a frequent exit strategy so I’ll be quite fine.”

***

How could eating be so pretty. The way Louis eats can only de described as pretty. He takes small bites, he keeps his mouth closed, he takes tiny sips of tea with his pinky finger pointing away from the porcelain cup. Simply stated he’s the most delicate kitten when it comes to his food. Several times Harry has to push him to take, just one bite more. It occurs to Harry it must be hard for Louis to eat because he’s done so little of it lately, since Aiden’s death.

Harry finds a way to keep Louis from unhappy thoughts by talking football. Louis loves Harry’s stories of how abysmal his skills were as a kid at the sport. Or any sport. Louis suggest it translates to Harry’s establishes FIFA talents. 

When Louis has finished much of the food that Harry made it’s been two hours. Two hours with Louis laughing a fair amount and Harry living in a feeling of suspended reality, like this could be real for him someday. Harry wants to ask Louis questions. Questions whose answers are probably in Aiden’s diary. He’s afraid to pry. He knows it will make the crinkles around Louis smiling face disappear. It will make his appetite go away. It might make tears, cerulean becomes pale sapphire. 

Harry just can’t. He knows he must. 

“Louis, you’re sure about the gear bag?”

Did Harry just sucker punch Louis? Louis face goes pale. He drops the tea cup on the tray amazingly not breaking it. His eyes begin to get wet.

“Oh no, no no, Louis, no. I mean by asking just that I’ve seen Hath two times, rice he’s hit you so hard you go semi conscious. I only wonder if he’s maybe made your reality and the nightmares into one, that’s all. Are you sure, sure about the gear bags, the phone.” 

Louis is shaking when he says to Harry with clarity in his voice and a sharpen sass to his expression. “He’s dead Harry. Dead. He was shot, in some suspected random robbery roadside. Sure, maybe a drug addict on crack would take his wallet and his phone, sell the phone or trade it for drugs, but why would his and my gear be taken too? Why would the fear be here one minute and gone the next? Do you think Hath scares everyone into submission by being nice? Do you not know how dangerous he is? Aiden knew. He was smart. I don’t know what happened to tip my father off, but someone did something. How smart are you Harry? Is it smart to be here? It will get you killed. You should leave!”

Louis’ anger rose as he chided Harry. Harry couldn’t care fault him. Tiny fierce lion. How could he? 

Having not dressed before he ate Louis is sitting there naked which means Harry can see Louis’ body is adding hyper breathing to developing more nervous, then hidden shaking. The entire time he is trying to verbally slap Harry down for questioning his cognition Louis is shaking more, his breathing becoming more rapid. Louis is so depleted by all of the abuse and his lover’s death he’s got no reasources to fall back on.

Harry can only offer what he knows. He seizes Louis which nearly sends the tray tumbling as he pushes Louis down to kiss him. Kisses not gentle, not doubting, but aggressive and purposeful. He puts himself on Louis amaking them centered on the bed as he tries to strip away with his passion every barrier Louis had put up against him by the offense of questioning. 

At first Louis was surprised and not receptive but it’s seconds, a minute at most, before Louis is kissing Harry back. It’s the passionate kiss of a lover’s quarrel. Some anger, some need. Certainly some yearning. By the time Harry sort of releases Louis from under him Louis is sporting an erection. Seeing it, Harry simply can’t resist because when Harry sees Louis hard, Louis also sees Harry sees him hard; Louis tries to put his hands over himself and hide his excitement with anger directed at Harry still in his eyes. Harry gets Louis’ hands away from his prick, pins Louis’ hands, kisses Louis roughly more. Louis bites Harry’s lower lip when Harry removes his tongue from where it was forcing Louis’ submission. In turn Harry bites Louis on the skin just under a collarbone. Louis yelps it makes him grind his pelvis up against Harry clothed body, on top of him and whine. 

Taking clothes off fast is an essential skill Harry that exceeds at. Again, occupational expertise. He gets them off without ever breaking from taking the anger drive stare from Louis. It’s doubtful Louis can interpret the extent to which the return stare down fromHarry is pure passion. Maybe mixed with a little regret for hurting Louis by the question about the gear bags. 

But once his clothes are off Louis’ eyes go to Harry’s erection. When he looks back to Harry’s eyes his anger has softened. There’s hunger in its place. 

The struggle begins again. This time it’s for rights, right to have control. Harry has the idea from Aiden’s diary about how little Louis toyed with the older boys; that’s in his head as he finds Louis has him all turned around. He also recalls Hath’s remark how fierce, strong for his size Louis is. With struggle, Harry gets Louis’ hands pinned. Given that Louis dick is porperly erect, posting straight up without assist Harry puts his mouth around the pretty staff and sinks. 

Harry’s pretty good at doing this with no hands. He knows all the tricks. He sinks a few times making Louis writhe. Harry comes off Completely a few times and licks the prominent vein underneath. He rapidly licks at the base of Louis’ cock, letting his tongue lap Louis’ balls. He momentarily wonders if Louis is shaved at Hath’s demand or if this is Louis’ choice as many bottoms prefer. Letting the question go Harry gets his tongue to lick over Louis’ entrance despite Louis being backside down on the bed. Licking there makes Louis writhe more. Louis tries to twist free. Harry stops licking. 

“He said nothing in your body, but didn’t say a thing about something of yours in mine.” 

Like that Harry goes for dick again deep throating Louis, making him pant. 

“Harry, Harry, don’t let him find you here...” Louis gets out between gasps and pants. His body is giving him away. He’s glistening, he’s quivering, he’s desperate in every measurable way. 

“Gotta stop saying that.” Harry growls. He then kisses the divot where thigh interacts pelvis. Louis begins squirming again like to get away. Not that he’s giving up. 

“Gotta make me, make me, try to make me shut...” 

Harry gets himself spun around over Louis like only the pro he is could do so adeptly. He gives Louis one second of eye contact, no words just goes ahead with his cock in hand putting it at Louis’ lips. 

Oh god...when Louis flashes a new look from those cerulean eyes. Determination, then he opens his pretty mouth allowing Harry to slide himself in. Once Harry feels his knob hits back of Louis’ throat he goes down on Louis. 

Harry doesn’t have to hold Louis hands down anymore. He can tell by how actively Louis is doing this sixty-nine with him Louis is wanting it. Louis is mewing through his handling of Harry’s length. His hips undulating with Harry’s bobbing on his dick. 

Harry pulls back his cock from Louis’ reach several times hovering in a plank pose over Louis to pause their action. He does it because he simply wants this to extend forever and he’s so close. Several of theses pauses extend the pleasure only to the extent that it’s painful to be so close. So when Louis begins spurting in Harry’s mouth when Harry’s takes him again, Harry makes his best effort to satiate Louis by staying on him through every last drop before he springs back stealing his cock from Louis to shoot his cum over Louis’ body rather than force him to swallow when he’s under Harry. The strength of the ejaculation is so intense that his cum misses Louis’ upper body completely hitting Louis’ pelvis. 

“So good Louis. God you’re so good.” Harry’s says bending down with a shuffle back so he can kiss Louis’ lips. 

Louis ends the kiss, “So please Harry, please go now. Go before he finds you.”


	20. Chapter 20

The first thing Harry does when he leaves Louis is call the other lads. They were all waiting with nerves on edge. Relieved Harry’s okay they are no less concerned for Louis. Lots of questions when Harry tells them what transpired including the one contentious question Harry had asked Louis, is he certain that Louis believes Aiden’s things were there at his house?

As Harry makes his last call to the three friends, to Niall, Niall invites Harry to come on a mission with him. Rescues. Harry decides to do that because he’s not sure he wants to go home. His heart tells him he should run back to Louis. Instead he helps Niall.

Several ‘kittens’ later Harry leaves Niall’s house where they’ve put the newest feline arrivals in a safe room, one that’s smaller and quiet, but Harry cannot simply go home. 

Harry calls up a former client of his. 

Ben Winston, a detective, former client now dating a woman. Apparently, to Ben, Harry was “just a phase”. Or at least Ben says that about his past encounters with Harry despite how much sex, (A LOT of sex) they had. Before Ben fell in love with his current woman partner, before he gave up hook-ups with Harry, Ben and Harry always had a lot of fun so they’ve remained something like friends. Hush hush though. Few people want to be openly friends with Harry.

Harry and Ben agree to meet for a late lunch at a local pub. At lunch Harry gets the polite conversation out of the way first. Ben does a lot of blathering on about his lady, plans to marry her, surprising her with a ring soon, that kind of stuff. Then when all those mundane things are shared he gets to the root of this meeting. 

“Enough about me Harry. I’m sure you’re not looking to go ring shopping with me. So what’s up? This has to be more than a casual call. Are you in some trouble?” Ben is sincerely concerned because he has had to investigate at least one potentially unacceptable client for Harry based on a hunch Harry felt. As it turns out Jarry was right. The man seeking Harry’s “services” had a long history of violence. Ben may be in love now with a woman; he still cares for Harry. 

“No. I’m not in any trouble.” Harry says. “A friend is. And the thing is, what is happening to him is well known among a circle of his other friends but everyone avoids making the abuse stop. It’s been years of my friend, a minor, being raped by his step father. As if that’s not enough the one person who was going to help him get away from the abuse when he turns eighteen was recently shot in a random roadside robbery. My friend thinks that the shooting was a deliberate act of murder, perpetrated by his stepfather. He said there was evidence in their house.” 

Ben sits up, leaning into talk quietly. “Your friend needs to call the authorities for his safely and if there’s evidence of another crime report that too.” 

“I know, I know. I’m not sure why no one whose known about his abuse at home has not done that already. I think it’s fear they haveof somthing but I’m not sure how anything could be more frightening than the hell my friend is in now.” 

“So this guy, the abuse step father, he’s powerful? Who is he and who did he potentially murder?” 

“Hathaway Tomlinson. Aiden Visser.” 

Ben chokes on his swallow of beer. “Tomlinson? You said Tomlinson? Wow. Didn’t see that one coming. Tomlinson, The Hathaway Tomlinson, likes boys?” 

“I’d say he likes one specific boy. His step son. Something he said about how Louis, his stepson, suggests that Louis reminds him of Louis’ mum, his wife who died about six years ago. Add to that how he has a weird disconnect about sexuality. He claims to think gay sex is deviant, but he’s been trying to ‘fuck the gay out of Louis’ for years. I was just with them last night. Hat has asked me twice now to come be with them because he’s got this special kink where he’s not satisfied with just fucking his stepson. He wants Louis to come when he’s fucking him.” 

Ben shake his head. “This is one twisted shit. And you said other people know about this, for years, but don’t stop it because Hathaway is, well Hathaway Tomlinson. Most powerful litigator in all of London. Sure he’s got clients that include powerful men in government, lawforce, judges. Hum. Okay so who is this Aiden Visser? The family name sounds familiar. How does this Aiden fit in?” 

“Aiden was in love with Louis. They had been at the same school as kids, until Louis’ mum died, Hath withdrew Louis after her death. Sequestered Louis at home. Before that Louis and Aiden were friends. Apparently there were some times when some of the people who knew inthe early stages of the abuse who would help get Louis and Aiden see each other. Aiden planned to marry when Louis turns eighteen. Last time Aiden was with Louis, the day I met him, was the day before he was shot in a so-called roadside robbery.” 

Ben eats some more of his food, gesturing for Harry to go on with this story. 

“I met Aiden at a park. Aiden and Louis were playing football with their team which Louis likes to do if he can sneak out to join them. Afterwards we went to a friend’s, hung out. Aiden was clearly trying to figure me out. You know. People always wonder. What I saw that day was were two people, Aiden and Louis, totally, completely in love. The next time I saw Louis was five days later. He’d been beaten by Hath, trying to refuse Hath, he told me his boyfriend was shot, he believed it was his stepfather’s doing. It’s a long story but that was also the first time, the first day, Hath hired me, a linchpin he said, to intervene in the sex. To make Louis do it the way he wants it. It was after the deal was done, Hath asleep in another room, Louis told me Aiden’s belongings were in their house for a short time. Before Louis could do anything with the belongings it seems Hath took them somewhere. Louis warned me about my safety, about Hath, before I left. “ 

”Last night was the second time Hath brought me in to ‘make Louis do it rgiht’. Again, when me and Louis were alone, after the assault, Louis warned me before I left. He’s the one being raped, beaten and he’s warning me!” 

Ben nods. He doesn’t say anything for a minute. He stares at his beer. Singnals the bartender for another round. “Harry, Hathaway is very well connected. If he wants you dead, anyone dead, he’s got the right people to do his bidding. I’m understanding people of a certain class, vulnerability, being afraid to come forward. I see that all the time in my business. But this Visser kid, how old was he? I think I saw the incident in the reports because I read all that stuff, but that kid went through the same school as Hathaway's, that family has to have money too. The boyfriend had to know how things were.” 

Harry ignores the implication Ben made of how easily Hath could have Harry killed. Harry is just a whore, it happens commonly it’s his type. Harry sticks to the question Ben has about people bienv complacent. It is what bothers Harry too. How do all Louis’ friends say nothing, Aiden saying nothing, getting himself killed in the process. 

“I don’t know why people are hushed. Aiden was nineteen, but the way. My age. He is from a very very nice family. They know Louis, they adore him. They clearly have money. I know they have no idea about the stuff of Aiden’s that Louis found at his house after Aiden was murdered. I was with Louis, he only saw them at the funeral and I was with him there the entire time. Louis wasn’t even hardly functional he was so, so....devastated with grief. He didn’t have a chance to tell them about Aiden’s things. All he did before we had to get him home ahead of Hath so Hath wouldn’t know he was at the funeral was to ask me to do something for him which was a complete surprise. Aiden’s mum said he could take anything from Aiden’s room. We left the Visser home with Aiden’s diary. As we drove away Louis said that he wanted me to hold onto it for him. Keep it safe.” 

“You have the dead boyfriend’s diary? You’ve read it right?” 

Harry scoffs. “No! Well, I mean only the opening page. I can’t violate Louis’ trust. All I read is how it started. It sounded like Aiden was coming of age, getting the idea he doesn’t like girls in that way other boys do. He describes how Louis, who he describes as a peanut and a pixie, makes him feel. He has his first wet dream because of Louis. It sounds like his mum gave him a journal because she was allowing him the freedom to go at his pace like only the most supportive mum on the planet could do. I stopped there with the first page because I think I need permission.” 

Ben gets animated once the beers are set infront of them and the bartender has walked away. “Harry, read the damn diary! I give you permission! Fucksake Harry. How can you not go to the last page and see what he said? Maybe he wrote something to suggest he was in danger!” 

Harry gets a bad feeling. “Oh god, what if your right?” 

Harry jumps up. “I gotta go,” he takes a step before Ben stops him. 

“Wait, Harry, wait. Sit back down. Finish your beer. When we leave, get the diary, read the last few pages. You won’t be betraying Louis’ trust. Hell I’d read the entire thing. In those pages Aiden might describe the rationale behind all the silence. Maybe the mum isn’t really dead. Maybe Hathaway has her locked in the basement or something.” 

“You’re not making this any easier Ben. There isn’t a woman in the basement for six years, Hath’s a pervert, a rapist, a child molester, a murderer. He’s not stupid.” 

Ben waves off the point. “You’re right. He’s legendary in court. Very smart. He wouldn’t keep her in the basement...he’d keep in in the boathouse.” 

Harry laughs becuase Ben is being ludicrous to take down the tension, clearly joking. Somehow though when they finish lunch and part Harry makes a call immediately to Zayn. Has Zayn ever been in the Tomlinson basement? Yes. Okay...do they have boathouse? No. Okay. Harry feels better but he’s anxious to get home now and do his homework. Meanwhile Ben is going to look into everything that he can on Hathaway, Aiden, anyone of interest. Harry hasn’t even turned the key to his flat before Ben has a text to him. 

“Left you and went to check public records. Jay Tomlinson died six years ago. Cause of death cancer. Appears it was rapid onset. Surviving her is a son, Louis William Tomlinson and husband Hathaway Tomlinson. Don’t go to the basement. Or the boathouse. In fact don’t go there again if he calls you for service. Let me do some work.AND Read the Diary!!!” 

“PS sorry to shout but I make a living snooping. I don’t understand how you haven’t. Well accept I’ve never seen you in love before.” 

Harry looks up from his phone as he opens his front door, so Ben thinks this is love, that Harry, the sex for hire, is in love. Okay Harry shrugs, don’t have to be a p.i. to work that secret out. Why esle would Harry do anything to have Louis trust?

Harry goes to the diary as soon as he’s home. He opens the worn journal to the last entry.

…………………………………………………  
“Today was another day closer to me and Louis being forever. And it was a Team day, which I know Louis loves. For me any minute I have with Louis, even among other people, is a dream.

Today was rather interesting. 

Coming to watch with Zayn, Liam, Niall was this guy Harry Styles. He’s called “sex on legs”. I’ve heard about him from the lads before but not met him until today. Mmaybe I could have been more polite at first, but let’s face it, he was at the game for Louis. I mean he dripped with it. 

I can’t imagine why a guy like him would choose to do what he does. He seems smart. Since he seems to have Louis as a friend I decided to trust Louis. I always do. 

We ended up back at Niall’s playing FIFA. Harry was really horrible. Louis began to coach him to make sure he could win. That is such a Louis kind of thing, stirring people up for th fun of it. Once Louis insured Harry was the victor over me, of course, he then obliterated Harry in the final game. The infatuation Harry has with Louis was so obvious but oddly I kind of like him anyway. 

Maybe it’s that Harry is ridiculously beautiful, not like Louis but in a different way. He has green eyes, long, dark hair with silky-looking curls, the most sensual mouth. His legs go on forever, thus the sex on legs name. The other thing about him is that he has the prettiest smile becasue of his insanley adarable dimples. He smiled a lot at Louis. A LOT. In his eyes you could see if Louis said a harsh word to him he’d die right then and there, but he likes Louis’ playful way of trash talking him. 

I’d like to be able to hate this new friend of Louis’ but I really can’t. Beside Louis doesn’t need any more jealousy in his life.

…………………………………………………… 

Harry closes the diary. There it is. The last entry is about him. Aiden’s thoughts were how attractive he thought Harry is, he considers Harry smart. He didn’t miss a thing about how Harry’s into Louis and yet he said he likes Harry anyway. He completely trusts Louis. 

Harry texts Ben. “There is nothing in the last entry about Hath.” 

“What does it say?” Ben asks back. 

“It’s about me actually. He describes me. He said he likes me even though he could tell I was lusting for his boyfriend.” 

“What’s not to love about you, Harry?” 

Then Ben sends another text before Harry can reply as if the question is rhetorical. “Go through the last several days, weeks, of entries. See if Aiden mentions any direct contact with Hath or anything odd, or threatening directed at him.” 

“Okay,” Harry writes. “But I feel like I’m violating Louis’ trust.” 

“I violate privacy everyday in my work.” 

Harry considers the Ben’s direct statement. It’s just a job to Ben, sifting through people’s private lives. Given that sex is just a job to Harry, what’s the difference? 

Opening the diary again, Harry reads.


	21. Chapter 21

Harry goes to the second page which opens with Aiden talking about another wet dream incident. It’s an embarrassing thing that happens at school when he gets an erection that his altheletic shorts don’t conceal. Both things, the incident at school and the one in his bed, happened because of Louis. Aiden realizes he like boys. Louis...well Louis, he loves.

He writes next in his diary about this new coming of age problem and how he talks about it with his brothers. They give him advice. He thinks they understand the problems are not trigger by girls. At least he's sure Beck knows, but the whole thing about Aiden’s dynamics with the older brothers Harry finds amusing. He’s not sure if the brothers are pranking their little brother or if they are inexperienced. Given they are all minors, all still living at home, Harry’s not sure that they know the world, the street life, the seedy side. To Harry it’s a brief moment of amusement to see what life in a family with four boys might be like if you’re lucky to have a loving family. 

Then Harry skips ahead to where Aiden writes something about Jay Tomlinson. It’s no longer amusing. 

…………………………………………………

“When Jay and Louis came over today me mom and Jay were talking with heads together, very secretive whispers, more than normal. Why? It was obvious that Louis’ mum was upset. I asked Louis if he knew why. 

He said his parents have been fighting a lot, about him, an AWFUL lot. He said his parents try to hide their fights by only talking about some things, about him, when they are away from the house. Usually they take the car. 

I can tell Louis is bothered by being the problem but he didn’t want to talk about it. We went out in the back of the garden out of view from the house to lay in the sun together. It’s become my favorite thing to do, lay on the grass with Louis and look at the sky. I always get to hold him close, hug him. I like to kiss his head and smell the way his shampoo mixes with his scent. It makes me get those feelings. I like these feeling more and more.” 

…………………………………………………

Harry reads several more entries about Aiden hugging Louis, kissing his head, cuddling together. They all seem so sweet. Harry gets so lost in the innocence of it that he can also smell Louis himself as he reads and become part of a fantasy. It’s all so very innocent even though it’s clear Aiden has a stirring feeling in his body. It’s rapidly approaching a time when he’ll need some way to release the feelings. 

There are several entries about Patti suggesting her son talk with an adult about what boys needs to do as they mature, to be safe. She even suggests that Aiden could talk to Jay becuase Jay is a nurse. Aiden then writes an incidental comment, Harry almost over looked it, about Jay. Aiden writes that Louis says his mum has frequently been not feeling well. Harry knows this is the horrible beginning of a fateful end. 

The most common entries are to follow are mostly about football-Louis. Aiden describes every great play that Louis is a part of. He shares stories about other teams that don’t take his team’s small player seriously, until it’s too late, becuase Louis is just that good. Harry gets a good mental picture of tiny Louis, eleven years old, running around with a bunch of players who are thirteen, fourteen, and causing them fits. There’s one entry about a team they play a second time in a semifinal who have a team-wide plan to take Louis out because of their size advantage over Louis. This was apparently a bad idea becuase Aiden and Louis’ teammates put a big hurt on the aggressors of the apposing team after the game. 

More entires follow about Louis’ worries about his mum not feeling well. At last there is the big moment. The change. 

…………………………… ………………… 

“Today Louis came over becuase we had no classes. School had conferences. Louis looked worried when he came to my house. We went to my room because he didn’t want to play and it was starting to rain too. Beck teased us when we headed up stairs together. He said to ‘leave the door open’ and thought he was really funny. 

Louis came in my room behind me, closed the door, then just stood there against the door looking lost. I asked if his mum was better, was she more sick. He said yes. Just standing there, back pressed against the door, looking a little lost. 

I felt helpless. After a minute of him just standing there leaning against the door he asked me if I would kiss him. I went to him, to kiss his forehead, and he lifted his face so I kissed his lips. 

After we kissed we just looked at each other for a minute more, and then I kisssed him again. I tried to kiss him like people do who look like they know how to kiss. My kiss made him whimper in a wonderful way. I had to pull him into me, hands going all over his little body, his bum. He made another whimper noise. He kisses me back harder after I squeeze him bum. 

That made me get the change in my body, like it’s never never been before. It hurt it was so hard. I walked back away from him just staring at him. He looked different, flushed. He kept biting his lower lip standing there like he didn’t know what to do after he did that to me. Louis watched as I went to sit on my bed and tug at my shorts that were bulging. 

Before I could say anything he came onto the bed crawling up to me, bringing himself right over me, curiously looking down at my bulge. He asked me if he could see it. Maybe I should have ran to the bathroom. Instead I pulled down my shorts. I can’t beleive that was me, my body. Louis maybe didn’t completely know how he affects me, just him, Louis does this to me. He asked if he could touch me. Maybe I shouldn’t have said yes. 

His hand took me and he squeezed it. My body spilled instantly with his little hand there. One squeeze, he made me shiver and ripple with pleasure. My toes curled. My body electrified. 

I’ve never made a mess like that before. Never has anything made me feel like it did then, Louis did that to me. After I felt stupid doing that all over his hand but I wanted that feeling again. I want the feeling Louis makes in me. I know he’s too young but he wasn’t afraid, or bothered by it. Maybe he’s young but maybe it’s okay to want that with him, maybe? I dont know if I can tell ny of my brothers about this. Soren has girlfriends, three of them. Maybe they do stuff like this. I don’t know what to do.” 

……………. ….……………………………… 

Harry’s able to understand Louis and he share a thing that is not true of every person when they are just eleven. Both knew they were not like other boys. Harry probably could not have survived in the early years on the street if he didn’t have some sense of who he is. He’s biology written clearly in his mind. So it must have been with Louis. 

The next entries are a lot of Aiden’s fantasies. He’s discovered he can picture Louis sitting on his bed, taking his penis in one small hand and it makes Aiden come everytime. The next significant entry is Aiden’s description of an argument between his mum and Hath. Aiden writes some of the key points in exchange. It must be traumatic. He writes the events in very broken script. It’s hard for Harry to decipher, basically, he get the idea that their fight was about Louis and Aiden spurred by Jay’s downturn in health. 

Jay was going to be admitted at the hospital for an indeterminate amount of time. To help Jay’s family in this difficult time Patti wanted to facilitate Louis spending more time with her family. She kindly pointed out that Hath, being obligated with work, wanting to take time to be with Jay, how he wouldn’t have time for the boy. For Louis. Patti wanted to support Louis in the difficult dats ahead by keeping him in his regular schedule of school events and activities. Also, Patti misjudging Hath’s disposition about Louis’ friends, mentioned how there were signups starting for the city league football teams. Patti wanted to offer getting their boys to the qualifiers, the practices and games that would surely follow. Patti advocated to Hath how it would be good for Louis, being with other lads on the pitch like a normal boys, destructing him from the concern of his mum being ill, to have time with the same friends he played ball with for years at their school. 

Aiden writes how Hath was adamantly objecting, blaming the Visser family for being bad influences on ‘his son’. It’s the first time Aiden hears Louis’ step father say things like this, although he knows his mum and Jay have been talking about this dispute between Jay’s view of the Visser and Hath’s for a long time. 

Harry can practically feel in his own heart the hurt that thirteen year old Aiden must feel when he writes the next bit about the fight Patti has with Hath. 

Aiden writes how Hath tells Patti that he’s never going to allow Louis to play on a city team. He’s had it with other boys being touchy with his son. His son is ‘a Tomlinson’. He will act ‘accordingly’. No playing sports where boys get to pull his son into their bodies, pat his bum, make him giggle by hugging and petting him. Aiden is certain enough of Hath’s words “...make him giggle, being petted, like some cheap whore” to use quotations on those words. 

Next Aiden writes in this entry that Hath tells Patti how he’s already informed the school that Louis is not going to be on the school football team anymore effective immediately. Louis can no longer go to practices after class or games on weekends. He will go see his mum at the hospital. Patti is distraught for Louis. She makes a plea that Louis could do both, that is the sort of thing Jay would want for her son, as good friends Patti sincerely offers that she is willing to help with all the logistics. Hath is not moved. 

Confession over tears, Aiden writes next. Tears over what Hath says next written in his diary is redundant because the pages, the ink, has watermarks. Hath let’s Patti know effective immediately he is also forbidding Louis from seeing Aiden. Ever. If Jay does not recover her health, he will be making changes to Louis’ schooling. Best private school in London or not, he won’t have his son being touched by a perverted class of people. 

The diary records this is when the boy’s Soren and Grayson come home. They find their mum in a heated aurguement with Hathaway, she’s very upset. Hathaway is shouting at her. The brothers literally toss the imposing man from their home. Aiden is both proud of his brothers for protecting their mum from any disrespect and he’s something like mortified though he uses different words to describe his emotions because he’s just learned he won’t be able to see his boyfriend unless it’s in passing at school. If Hath has his way, that will end too. 

Heartbreaking is all the entries to follow. Jay never comes home. Louis is pulled from the school. Aiden wrote how in the weeks leading up to these events he hadn’t seen Louis smile ever. Louis looked beyond the ability of his thirteen year old boyfriend to describe. Louis is a child who is both broken-hearted with grief over his mother’s death and his isolation. Harry knows something about feeling that bad. It’s a dark place. 

By the time Aiden is beginning to get occasional secret rendezvous with Louis through Tomlinson’s neighbors, Zayn, and new to the community, Niall, Louis is approaching twelve, Aiden has turned fourteen, the changes in them are striking. Aiden is gaining height in leaps and bounds. He describes Louis as frequently looking frail, like he’s a fraction of the spirited, playful boy he was. He also always has bruises. Aiden list every one he sees. Always these encounters are arranged on the sly. Zayn and Niall seem to know something that Aiden doesn’t at the point of these entries. Aiden writes how he wants to take Louis aside from Zayn and Niall and talk privately, but Louis pushes back on that and Aiden can’t figure out why.

Nearing Christmas, Louis birthday coming up, Aiden goes on for several paragraphs how the help of Zayn and Niall got them together. Aiden has a present for Louis. He knows Louis plays piano and has formal instruction regularly but he prefers playing guitar. Aiden also knows Louis has been trying to sort out the notes to a song by Green Day on piano so he can try it on guitar. Aiden gives him a sheet of the guitar chords for ‘Boulevard of Broken Dreams’ . Next Aiden breaks into a confession. Louis gives him a present, “for Christmas”, too. 

……………………………… ……………………… ……………………………………… 

“Louis said he had something for me too. He set the sheet music aside and said I had to kiss him first. Oh how good it felt when our lips met. We’ve gotten to where we know what to do when we kiss. Louis gets me hard in seconds. This time when I pulled away, I knew he knew I wanted his hand to touch me, just that one squeeze like we’ve done before and everytime I spillover his hand. 

This time he looked at me like he’s got something in his mind, mischievousness. He didn’t get ahold of me straight away. He reminded me it’s almost Christmas. He’s got something for me. As I watched he looked me in the eyes and his face went to my body while he stared at me. I didn’t know he could look like that. I felt nervous. He stuck out the tip of his tongue while he stared and did a tiny lick on my thing. It made my pelvis jerk. Before I could say I dint know what made him do that he put his hand loosely on me and his mouth took me. His eyes closed, his cheeks hollowed and he sucked. I didn’t know it could be so intense. He had me in his mouth and he was so pretty with his cheeks hollowed, how I wish I could have warned him but I made him drink some of me before he coughed and pulled me out. My god he is so beautiful and sweet. His first words were “Merry Christmasas he wiped my stuff from his face. I couldn’t do anything but laugh because I was giddy with how good he made me feel in every way, some unimaginable Christmas present.” 

……………………………… ……………………… ……………………………………… 

Harry reads many more entries about their secret rendezvous, the intimate encounters. Louis is twelve. He’s grieving over his mum. He’s lonely. He’s beaten and raped regularly. It’s really hard for Aiden to reconcile but he respects Louis doesn’t want anyone to intervene. Harry can’t fathom how Aiden hasn’t revealed this to his parents. He can’t fathom how Zayn or Niall haven’t either. Harry reads on. 

……………………………… ……………………… ……………………………………… ……………. 

“Its been almost a year of the stuff his father does to him. Louis is beginning to remember more when it’s done. Remember what is said to him. He used to black out I think becuase he had no memory, just woke with the pain, remembering only what he did before his father began the assault. Today he told me the most word for word, detailed story about the last time. 

Me and Louis were laying together in the park on a blanket just talking. The game he’d snuck out to join in was over for hours but we were still there because he had a long time to be away. My mum brought cupcakes. Everyone on our team had left but we were here waiting for Louis’ driver. Louis still wouldn’t agree to let my mum take him home. What if Hath came home and saw us in passing, Louis says. He’s afraid and only trusts Howard. 

So today there we were laying there under a tree. Looking up at a pretty special sky. I could tell Louis had been used only a few days before. He had some of the usual bruises. If his shorts raised a little, I could see the inside of his thighs were purple. Also once the other lads left he was quieter than normal. That means he’s really hurting. 

Out of the silence he said it was bad. Meaning the last time. Then he told me. He said his father had him filled, was doing to him the most rough he'd been. He was mad, more angry than normal. Louis wasn’t sure why. It got so Louis couldn’t help but cry because his father was sweaty, the sweat hurt him, Louis, down there. He wanted it to stop but his father kept slamming himself into him. Then his father said something over and over, something like this: 

Louis said he heard it clearly when his father stopped the pounding while he spoke. Louis’ face was in his hand, fingers burning into his jaw with the tight grip for making Louis look at him - I can allmost see some bruises there where the fingers might have been - his father told him: 

‘Too much for you? Yeah, becuase boys aren’t supposed to be fucked Louis. A woman, your mum could take me, all of me, she never cried. Tomlinson men don’t take dick, my son doesn’t...you learn to be a man, go and have your first girl, I’ll stop pounding your arse. Sweet as it is.’ 

After Louis repeated his father’s words to me as well as could remember he rolled over to look at me. Being his sweet self he said the strangest thing given that he’s being raped at home again and again. He said something like how would he ever do that to someone? He doesn’t even like girls that way, so he wonders how would he do some thing that is only supposed to be for people who love each other?”

……………………………… ……………………… ……………………………………… ……………………… 

Harry closes the diary. It’s enough misery for now. He goes and makes some tea. While he is putting the water on he’s frustrated. Why does Louis refuse help?


	22. Chapter 22

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My manipulation plot point might be weak, shame, but hope you enjoy.

The Visser house is a flurry as the eldest son is about to move to his first home away from home. The four boys are in their family room/ game room with other teens. Patti is having a party so many many friends are there. Aiden is in a funk because he’s not seen Louis for awhile. The other lads are happy because their are many pretty girls to socialize with. This adds it Aiden’s dark mood. 

When the party is done the boys promise they’ll clean up the game room which has many dishes and debris on every available space because the youth at the party were a bunch of complete slobs. Besides the older three Visser boys have had it with their youngest brothers sulking. 

Harry reading this in the diary, sipping the last of his tea his tea, is caught up with fascination becuase Aiden writes how they are all ready to get this hell Louis is in over. Something about Sore leaving makes it like he’s ready to make a man’s decision. “Against the wishes of children”, as he refers to Aiden and Louis, or not. 

Aiden writes how he pleads with his brother. He and Louis have talked. They are married in their eyes. Louis is his. He is Louis’. When Louis is eighteen they will get him free. 

But why is Louis refusing help? Why wait? What power does Hath have over him? This is the question Harry has and at this time in their relationship so do the older Visser brothers.

Aiden finally confides it’s something to do with Jay. The boys can’t understand this, it’s clear in what Aiden writes. They point out it’s not like Hath can bring her back. She’s gone. 

According to the diary reasoning with Aiden about removing Louis from Hath’s control doesn’t work. So instead they gang up on another subject to try to help their brother in hopes it also offers Louis some relief. Does Aiden know how gay sex works the brothers ask him? Aiden describes how painful it is to have three older brothers prying into what he and Louis have done. More so when they find out Aiden only kisses and cuddles Louis, fondles his bum, but learns that Louis is giving their younger brother head routinely. Beck is particularly off put because he admits, he’s still a virgin. Soren admits he’s never had a girlfriend who would do that. They only give him hand jobs. Of course Grayson has had it all. Of course Grayson would. 

This apparently lead to a decision. As Soren is the oldest. Now legal age, he is elected to go to buy some “educational materials for their baby brother. If Aiden plans to have any sex, maybe he should know a thing or two for Louis’ sake and for both their protection. 

Several days later Aiden’s diary entry is about the box of condoms and stack of gay porn magazines his brother put on his bed in plain view while Aiden was out playing football. Aiden describes being made mortified that their mum could have easilty walked into his room while he was out and seen the stuff. Their mother’s acceptance of his sexuality or not, it’s entirley too embarrassing his writes. But then Aiden admits when he reads the magazines, studies the pictures, he finds the magazines entlightening. If Louis is ever going to feel good during sex, he’s going to need a few things to prepare him. Aiden is grateful his brothers are helping even if they kind of do it in a wanker-like approach.

The next series of entries are a lot about Football. Specially the rare times when Louis is able to get to to the pitch play. Louis remains ahead of his team in many skills. Plus he does this sass, trash talk, mental games on their opponents. He always gets under their skin. It’s more and more physical now in the teams games because boys are at the age of having sexuality become the thing they think about. Louis works it. He flirts with the most heterosexual boy on an apposing team just to annoy them. He wins over the undecided boys with a smile. Oh and there’s the other thing. 

Louis has no stop in energy. So even well into a game if some players are getting tired, Louis is not. If it’s a lull In the game he’s frequently seem gigging around, dancing of sorts. He doesn’t tire. Another thing he does. He sings. If the play is stopped and it doesn’t involve him Louis is singing. It’s like a Siren call. Drives the lads insane. They love it, they hate it. Sometimes teams break into a fight. It’s Louis. He’s mind fucking them. Aiden loves it. After the game Louis is back to his sweet sweet boyfriend. It’s there is any way possible he’s also on his knees for Aiden. 

Aiden is writing in his journal about Louis thirteenth birthday. There’s been some build up to it because previous entries indicate that Aiden and Louis have that age as when Louis might be ready. It’s clear that going back to when Jay was alive the mother both impressed upon Aiden that while they accepted the love between the boys, that they would ask that Aiden, being two years older respect the wish for intimacy to wait until Louis was proper age. This is what the entry Harry is reading is about. 

Turns out age thirteen and prospect of anal fucking is not the only thing pivotal in this entry. 

………………………………………… 

“I’ve been carrying the sheet music I got for Louis’ thirteenth birthday with me for a month hoping I’d see Louis. It’s been maddening how irregular the Tomlinson house staff and tutor’s schedules have been. We’ve had every plan to be together next ruined. I hope today getting together at Zayn’s can happen. 

Louis has been wanting the music to ‘Iris’ by the Goo Goo Dolls. It has something to do with Jay. I promised him I’d have it for him by his birthday. Since he always wants to give me a nice present too I said I’d like him to give me a piece of what’s in his mind. I want a piece of his fear. It will be two years in March since this terrible life for him began and still I don’t know why he begs me not to say anything. My brothers are right that I have to keep asking. I feel bad being pushy because he gets panicky, he goes jittery and he breaks down in tears. Hath will take her away. It doesn’t make sense. She’s dead. Jay is dead. There’s not much more away than that. So today, I’m giving him the music. I think these songs he wants are prophetic. I read the lyrics, I think about how he won’t ask his music teacher to get him them. There are secrets in them. Louis knows all the words and he can play the tune he’s taught himself by ear on the piano, but he said he doesn’t like to do that because the entire house hears him at the piano. It is a grand piano in the great room, so yeah. He wants to play the song on guitar where he can be alone. But when he sings this song, the others he keeps secret, he cries. I know because he’s done them for me. He’s told me his secret is written in the lines. What does that mean? Today I’m going to find out. 

I’m also wondering if he’s changing yet. The last time we were together he was still lagging behind. When I was thirteen I had hair growing places. He still is sleek as a little boy. I thought with him being molested, his body would change, but Beck has done some research for his classes on the subject of abuse. He says it doesn’t work like that. Louis hasn’t had an oragasm. He can’t. Beck thinks it because he’s too young developmentally and he’s being raped. I promised his mum when Jay was alive that me being older would not do anything with Louis until he was ready. Beck thinks the changes should start soon for Louis, I’m hoping today to see changes. It as much as I am hoping to learn about the secret.” 

………………………………………………………… 

Harry breaks into nervous sweat reading. He goes to the next page. It’s written on Christmas Day. 

…………………………………………………… 

“I gave Louis the music. He was so happy. He immediately wanted to be together, kissing, all that. I pushed him back, sat him down, he tried to play wrestle, I made him stop which actually made him mad at me. I realize I was pinning him, he hates that. It’s like at home, his father. He actually started to cry when he couldn’t get free from me. I had to switch to holding him and apologize, promise I’d never do that again. After that he wanted to just cuddle and kiss. To give me ‘a present’. As much as my body wanted his hands and his mouth on me making everything so electric I knew I had to know why, he won’t let someone help him get free. 

Maybe because I scaredhim with the restraining, he finally told me why. Every picture of his mum in his room, in his house is a poor copy printed on cheap paper. Even the ones in frames. Hath made the switch. He took originals, all of them put the paper ones there in their place. The paper ones fade eventually. If Louis wants them replaced with new paper pictures, he has to “be good”, or they fade away. 

Hath also has letters and notes that Jay wrote each day to Louis after she went into the hospital. She’d write them apparently, leave them for him to find beside her bed in case she was asleep when Louis came to see her after school. Louis didn’t know about them at the time because Hath took them before Louis came. Later Louis found out about them because Hath showed him one before he took it, to lock it up, with the other, all the actual photos of Jay. 

Louis can recite the one note Hath showed him that she had written on her death bed. Hath said it’s a shorter note because as she got weaker she was too tired to write much. 

“Baby everything is made to be broken, this includes me, but not the love a mother has for her child. You son, my love for you, it’s is eternal. This will not be broken.” 

Hath showed this one to Louis, told him he keeps it locked, with all the pictures of her. He told Louis that he can’t have access to them without his guardian until he’s eighteen. 

Louis said after he saw the note he wrote down her words, word for word to remind himself of them so he’d feel better, but one time Hath walked into his room, found it. He beat Louis. Louis wrote down her words again, hid it. When it was found, Hath beat him again. This explains why when I told Louis I keep a diary, he said if he did that he’d be killed. Diaries aren’t safe, only songs. Secrets written in between the lines.”

…………………………………………………… 

Harry closes the diary. Louis trusted him to take it. It’s all he has of Aiden. He’s not allowed any of his comfort of his memories of his mum. Harry’s seen the pictures of Louis and his mum in Louis’ room. They are a little faded, he now recalls, it’s just a detail he’d never given thought to. But how sadistic is this psychological abuse? 

Harry calls Ben.


	23. Chapter 23

While Harry is talking with Ben his phone gets a call from Liam. He lets it go to voicemail. Once he’s done speaking with Ben he listens to the message. 

“Hiya Harry. Got a glimpse of the reservations at the restaurant. Not sure but I think I might have seen that Hath has a reservation down. When I’m there next I’ll let you know what day, I think it’s several days out, maybe even sometime next week. I was busing tables today so I didn’t really have a reason to be at the maitre’d station.”

Harry calls Liam immediately hearing the message. Liam answers, the background is noisy. “Harry, hey, how are you?” It’s clear from Liam’s that ask Liam is distracted. 

“You’re at work?” 

“Um, hum,” Liam says with a strange slur in his reply. 

“Okay. Call me when you know, no wait, Liam, when you go to the restaurant put me down for the same day, time if there’s an opening. Table for two and then text me the details. Make it a table as close as possible.”

Liam agrees, his affirmation comes out somewhat slurred too. Harry’s on their connection for a split second when someone else is heard in Liam’s company speaking to Liamin the background. “S’up with Loverboy...”

The voice was Zayn’s. Liam was with Zayn. He wasn’t at work. Was Liam stoned? He couldn’t be. Liam is never inclined to be inclined to be inebriated, stoned, any of that. Liam is always about being all about healthy first. He sure sounded in the brief call like someone who was ....stoned. Or similarly placated. Harry doesn’t think about it more. He’s got other concerns. 

***

Harry specified similar reservation time which he gets notice in a text. Liam also says that Harry and “his guest” will be seated thirty minutes after the Tomlinson’s reservation. That’s all Payne’s had available for a table on the same side of the restaurant as the reservation Hath made. 

Ben has also been busy, Harry learns. Ben reports he’s got a list of possibilities on the securing of documents that require a guardian be present unless a person is eighteen that he says he will share with Harry. Ben also has gathered a list of names of persons he believes Hath has used in the past nefarious purposes like leaning on people to influence court cases. Hath has a lot of these resources. 

Ben warns Harry. Stay out of contact at all cost with the Tomlinson’s unless Hath initiates it. Louis is obviously in danger, but his allies are more so. Harry doesn’t mention the reservation he’s made to stalk Hath and Louis at their dinner at Payne’s. Oh, and Ben inquires how’s the diary reading going? Any other big enlightenments? Ben emphasizes how the diary is now evidence in a murder so maybe Harry should lock it up when he’s not reading it. Ben also makes a few suggestions for Harry to bury the ability of a snoop like himself to get Harry’s address. Ben is worried Hath doesn’t leave any thing to chance if he’s gone on doing to his son like he has and taken it to the next level. He might already be looking into more about who Harry Styles is, his vulnerabilities, Ben supposes.

Not fifteen minutes later Ben calls Harry once again. Ben’s worry got the better of him. “Harry, I got a better idea about your safety. Look I got you a new flat for temporarily. It’s under my name. It’s big enough that your roommate can live there too. I decided it’s best you both be off the grid in case this gets dicey. You don’t have to pay for the flat either. I’ve used it before for situations that were risky. It’s a safe house. You’ll like it.”

Harry feels better that Ben is looking after him and weirdly worse because all he can think of is Louis. “Ben, that’s um, really great of you, you, you do know I can pay for things myself, right? You don’t need to do that. I got money saved.”

“Right, says the guy who sells himself for sex. You know what Harry, you quit doing that type of work you’re doing, when you do, we will talk about things like what you can, can not afford. For right now I want you safe. I can float this expense. It’s the least I can do for being a scumbag enough to use you as prostitute. You were...like what? Sixteen? It’s all shades of grey on morals and ethics but Harry it’s not much different for me being an adult having sex with a minor, whether or not they are getting paid....or not. Or even just that it’s an adult, with a M I N O R! it’s wrong. What Hath does, it’s the worst type of thing, but any adult with any minor, it’s all bad. Inexcusable. So I’ve got this. You can move in to the safe house later today, if you’d like, and please do. Don’t leave your flat mate at the old place. It’s not safe for her if someone comes looking for you. I’ll text the the address to you and the name of the property manager. She’ll expect to hear from you. Be safe. Stay away from Louis unless Hath books you. When he does we’re putting a tracker on you.”

***hours later.... 

Harry likes the new flat. His roommate loves it. It’s furnished nicely, has a kitchen full of amenities so all they needed to bring was their personal items, some food. She is out getting groceries to make a celebratory dinner. Harry’s reading on in the diary. He's gotten to where he knows why Louis decides to stay with Hath. Hath has Louis’ mum’s last words, her pictures, all hostage. Louis can access them at eighteen, Hath told him.

Harry’s discovers in reading that story unfolds as such:

Louis had been seeing his friends, Aiden, as occasions arise. He loves music, prefers guitar, plays piano too because he has a music tutor. He uses songs as comfort, Aiden discovers. Aiden, the patient boyfriend agonizes with the situation Louis is trapped in, he gets Louis guitar music as the simplest way of giving Louis relief that he will accept. 

Aiden also repsects wisdom he remembers from when Jay was alive, wisdom echoed by his own mum too; both women emphasized that the two boys need to be older for it to be consensual between them to be sexually active with each other. Because if that maternal wisdom Aiden still isn’t comfortable pressuring Louis despite its clear how Louis puts Aiden’s dick in overdrive. Fortunately, for Aiden Louis likes to give head. This is how they’ve been adjusting to Aiden’s maturity and Louis being not there yet. 

Beck, Aiden writes, is becoming interested in a career where he’d be helping victims of abuse has learned a lot of stuff about how Louis’ brain can be so muddled. Beck’s knowledge is practically university level because he’s so driven with his passion for helping others. It’s clear that it’s his way of processing his brother’s dilemma, his brothers boyfriend’s hell.

It’s midway into Louis’ thirteenth year at this point in the journal. The Visser boy’s openly refer to Louis among each other as their little brother’s boyfriend. They tease Aiden about buying Louis a ring. Aiden says he has. Well it’s a secret ring. How has Harry not noticed? When Harry reads on he learns how Aiden tells his brothers that he’s made Louis a thin cord-rope ankle bracelet to wear symbolic of a ring and not something triggering Hath’s rage, it floods Harry’s brain with the realization that he has seen it. Louis wore a thin rope, not more than a fat string around his ankle when Harry was with them. In the diary Aiden says it’s blue, like the color blue of the Mediterranean Sea, or Louis’ eyes. The thin rope on Louis’ ankle now is color-faded. It’s worn, almost looks a nondescript tan shade. Harry remembers in the bath both times he glanced at it and wondered since it was so worn if he should cut the ragged thing off. Harry’s glad now he didn’t.

The next gripping diary entry comes in what Harry almost skipped because it was about a game of football. Aiden writes a lot about football. Fortunately Harry didn’t skip the entry. 

…………………………………………………

“I was suspended from the team today. Most of us were so not sure how that is going to work for up coming games if most of us are suspended and we can’t field a team .

It began with Louis showing up. He had bruises again when so I was worried. I wanted him to not play. I could see some on his neck. His arms. I knew there’d be more places we couldn’t see them. He looked tired so we all told him to sit out. But the team we were playing is such a bunch of wankers. We needed Louis’ quickness. He came into the game when we were down, losing. 

Sure enough he spinned the other team up. They made mistakes. We tied their score. They could feel the tide shifting with this little player, number 17, mixing them up. They got angry and angrier and angrier. These lads were big too. We joked that they had to have submitted fake birth certificates to the league. They couldn’t be our age some looked like they belonged on teams of 17-19 year olds. And then we have Louis, younger than our players by two years. Players can come up from younger year, like Louis, not the other way. Our opponents seemed like much, much older. It was scary having Louis on the pitch with them. 

All hell broke loose when Louis made a score on them as a defensive player. Drawling a penalty or not, the one biggest player decided to run over to Louis before we could react. He pummeled Louis into the ground. Louis was dazed, laid out on the grass just trying to breathe I think. The hit left Louis laid out so his shirt was raised up. His torso exposed. Everywhere there were purple bruises. The twat who put him on the ground began laughing when he saw them, straddling over Louis, putting his hands on Louis, putting his fucking hand on Louis’ face to make Louis look at him and his other hand tugging on the top of Louis’ shorts all the while he laughs, saying Louis is such a pretty little twink and should he want to play with the big boys, then he should expect to get some heat. Or meat. I’m not sure which he was saying. I think one is as bad as the other, his fucking hands all over my boyfriend! 

Our teams collided right there where Louis was being.... whatever that was. We all tried to get Arse Number One off of his fondling Louis while punching anyone in the other team’s colors. I accidentally hit a coach, it was a mess.

When I finally got to pull Louis up from the ground he immediately started puking. Howard appeared through the crowd of us players and coaches in this mayhem. Our coach insisted Howard take Louis to hospital immediately. I was allowed to help Howard take Louis, because our team knows. They know what me and Louis are. 

Once we get to the car Howard says he can’t take Louis to the hospital. The hospital will call Hath. We take Louis home instead. The entire way he’s just sick. We just get Louis is in his bed before Howard hurries me out of the house. He opens the trunk of the car and tells me to get in. He’s standing there having just shut me in when I hear another car pull up next to the Bentley. I hear Hath. He speaks with Howard, Howard says he’s not picked up the items yet that Sir wanted so he’s leaving to do that. Once we’ve gone through the front gates Howard pulls over and gets me out of the trunk. 

I have never been so scared in all my life. Not for being in the trunk on a hot summer day, but for Louis. Me and Howard agreed when he drove me home, never again will he bring Louis for a game when Louis has been beaten that badly. Basically Howard didn’t know how bad it was. Louis is always pretending to be so tough.”

………………………………………………………

Basically Harry could have walked away from the diary at that point being made ill reading the passage about the bad day on the pitch. The entry that follows keeps him engaged.

………………………………………………………

“Zayn and Niall are the best friends ever. Or maybe Liam. No really all of them. Which friendship act do I journal first?

I have had such ill feeling since the day of the game. Howard actually stopped by my house while I was at school the next day. My mum was home. He only said to tell me that he, Louis, was okay.

And then I had this call from Zayn and Niall. Could I come to Niall’s house? It’s imortant.

Since it was Niall’s house, not Zayn’s I was wondering encaustic Niall has been weird lately. Don’t get me wrong, I like the kid from Ireland. He’s been strange though. He’s really gotten into cats. It was dogs and cats but now he’s mostly into cats. What fifteen year old lad is like that? 

I go over, we go to the basement. We play some games. Zayn is wondering if his new friend Liam is going to show up. I haven’t met Liam yet but they say he’s cool. Zayn looks funny when I ask him what Liam is like. I’m pretty sure Zayn has a girlfriend, at least at school he’s got a girl hanging on him. It makes me wonder though. Zayn acts like hies hiding something when I ask more about Liam. Meanwhile Niall snorts at a lot of what Zayn says. Liam is really fit, I get from the comments. He runs track at his school and he boxes. He wants to be a doctor. His uncle owns that famous restaurant, Payne’s.

It’s after Niall’s dad announces he’s going out that we go outside. We walk around the garden until we come to the back. Or it was the side, I donto know. The homes in their neighborhood are on wedged shaped grounds. I do know the tall, stone fence is the line between the Horan’s property and the Tomlinson’s. There we talk. Niall points at the stone hedge. He asks what I think?

Of what? I mean it’s a stone wall. Seems like some new planting’s are there. A bird bath too. It looks nice but what the fuck?

Look closer they say to me. 

At what? I think.

Then I see it. 

There’s a grate. At the base of the stone work, like a repair is made to the old stone fence, there’s a grate.

What is it?

Niall tells me. 

He was up in the tree that grows on his garden here to pull a kitten back that had climbed it when he saw a team of gardeners working for the Tomlinson’s. The stones at the base of the hedge were eroded, a little opening had formed. They were to patch it. Niall, Niall the kitten collector, asked them if they could possibly help him. He held up a kitten and told the workers how he is always loosing kittens to the Tomlinson yard. He knows Hath will drown them if they stray over there, he doesn’t even dare knock at the front put door and ask to have entry to find them. Would the workers mind putting in a secret passage, just a small one. Just big enough that a boy his size could slip in, collect his cats?

This was a month ago. Apparently the workers did as Niall asked. They put in a metal grate, that looks quite decorative, but it’s blended into the work so it looks old, original. In front of it on the Tomlinson’s side they put new plantings so the entire thing is hard to notice. The work was finished yesterday. 

I guess big-hearted landscapers care more about kittens than one would think. Niall said that he and Zayn offered to pay them themselves for keeping this secret, for the kittens sake. Either the men thought two teenage boys couldn’t have more than a small pittance or they were just kind. Niall said the men made some remark like ‘Tomlinson won’t know the difference, frankly they preferred kitties to his arrogant type.’

Niall hands me a key. He says th grate is locked. If discovered Hath will never know about keys because it will seem to be there for so long. 

He tells me next....Louis has a key too!”

………………………………. ………………………………

 

“Liam. What can I say? He’s this friend of Zayn’s and Niall’s. We finally met when I went with them to a party at a friend of Liam’s. Liam is not at out school I only knew a few people there. This was a different crowd than my usual group. The party was crowded, lots of ...stuff, drinking. And stuff. I was enjoying getting to know Liam. His sports are track and boxing so he talked about that. I talked about football. He’s very fit, nice, soft brown eyes. He seems so serious though, serious for someone who’s fifteen; I made me think how he’s the opposite of Louis in many ways. I think they’d hate each other at first if they met, then they’d become best friends because Louos would mess with his serious side until he wore Liam down. 

After a while Liam drifted off in this crowded party. Next thing I knew Zayn wandered away too. After awhile, I asked Niall if we could go, it was late, but he was kind of into this girl he was talking to so he said later. We had to wait for Zayn. After a while longer I went to look for Zayn. He wasn’t on the main floor of the house so I went upstairs.

Upstairs there were lots of couples doing things. I went down the hall there was this friendly lad who asked me if I was lost. I must have looked like I was. I said I was looking for Zayn. He said Zayn was in his room at the end of the hall. This I thought meant there was a group of people, maybe I should have knocked but...

...there was Zayn. And Liam. 

I was about to back out when Zayn said to stay. They were totally naked. Zayn was giving Liam head, having his hand on his own, giving head and wanking himself. It was a shock. 

Pretty much they both began to laugh at me about being embarrassed. At first it was uncomfortable but then it turned when they said they were just talking about me and my boyfriend, I didn’t know Liam knew Louis. He says he doesn’t know him well, just that his father handles legal affairs for his uncle’s business. And that he knows what Zayn or Niall tells him about us. Like , is it true that are we both still technically virgins? 

It was weird to have this talk with lads my age, them both into each other, both sporting erections AND ALSO SINCE WHEN did Zayn become gay. I kept wondering. (On the way home he said he’s not gay, he’s bi. ) 

I got, defensive. Very defensive. I don’t like being made fun of, I have three older brothers. But Liam and Zayn were cool when they saw I was mad. They told me to relax. Liam said to ‘not be so serious’. Liam, the seriously serious one! They said they were actually talking about us becuase of worry for Louis. It would be better, they told me if Louis were ‘taken care of properly’. 

Not sure how it happened. Maybe because I said I did some reading but I still am very afraid of hurting him. Louis, he’s so small. And so...

This is how I get a full demonstration with Liam taking the role of the top, Zayn being bottom. They even, well, it’s better to only confess that I considered Liam a very, very good friend now. I’m excited to see Louis next time. When we can be alone I’m going to try to finger him. Maybe I can even find that place in him, his sweet spot.”

………………………………. ………………………………

Harry closes the diary. Seems Zayn is more complicated than Harry knew, though he frequently wonders if his intuition is true that Zayn is bi. Now he knows. And Liam? The sneaky, sneaky lad. It was Zayn who was with Liam the last time Harry called. Here all this time Harry worried Liam was all work and no play.


	24. Chapter 24

Harry is glad to get back to reading when he reads it’s soon after the grate installation that Aiden is starting to try to be more active sexually with Louis. They see each other at Niall’s as often as they can. Aiden has Louis’ schedule with tutors memorized. They work around that, around Aiden’s school hours, practices, games. For awhile Louis is playing football less. Both Howard and Aiden must be holding him back from what Aiden writes. Aiden describes for two solid pages evey aspect of how hard it is to be firm with Louis when Louis wants something Aiden isn’t sure he can handle. It gives Aiden an appreciation for how annoying he must be as the youngest brother who want to be able to do what they can before he’s old enough.

It’s come out in the diary that the day Louis played with all the bruises was a game following the event of it being the anniversary of when Hath and Jay were married. Their anniversary is when Hath has the greatest wrath. Louis, like always, tried to refuse him; more than any other time Hath is violent then, at the anniversary. Aiden writes that he knows Louis hears the most ugly, twisted things from Hath when Hath bundles his desire for his wife, Louis being a poor substitute. 

Because of the particularly bad beating, the access to each other at Niall’s garden, Aiden gets more prompts from their friends, take care of Louis. For Louis’ protection he needs to learn how to be properly prepped. 

It’s also noteworthy, as Harry read that they all began to call Louis “kitten” when they speak about him, in code, if it other ears might hear them as illustrated one day when Aiden was over at Niall’s to see Louis but Mr Horan invited some people to come over impromptu. Being a nice day this group of people meandered out into the garden. As Niall went to look for “kitten”, so he told Aiden, it meant he was going to go alert Louis to stay in his own garden. Mr Horan has, by this point in the diary, gotten used to his son being weird about cats. He hates it but Mr Horan believes that can make his son into his image. Harry reads this and understand while it’s not as bad as Louis life, it’s shades of grey, same expectation by these men, Horan and Tomlinson. Make their sons into their image. This binds Louis and Niall together.. 

Then there is successful progression. Aiden describes:

………………………………………

“Louis crawled through the grate today and my god he’s was beautiful. He’s eyes had that spark like he was waiting for this day as eagerly as me. His hair was styled all messy and not. He wore a simple tee, sleeveless and shorts. I could see much of his body because the shirt was too big, had cutouts at the arms. It barely covered anything. AND THERE WERE NO BRUISES!

The way he crawled through, like a cat, mischief in his eyes, he stayed on hands and knees as he made his way to me waiting for him on the blanket. I knew I was in trouble. Crawling into my lap, pushing me back to lay on the blanket he kissed me. I can’t even remember how we got so in time when we kiss, but we are. He was writhing on me as he kissed me. My tongue going into his mouth made him moan, I rolled him off me, me on top him. There I ran my hands over him. Each touch seemed to make him more wiggly and excited. 

I asked him. ‘How long since he touched you?’

‘It’s been ten days. He’s busy. Barely seen him.’

We went back to kissing. By body responded so fast to being with him and Louis giggled feeling my erection pressing into him. He broke our kiss and told me....

‘Make me hard like that.’

I was suddenly dizzy. I pushed his shirt up so I could see him better. I pulled his shorts off, he had nothing under them. There he was. Almost naked for me, so pretty. Pristine. No marks. No bruises. He has a big freckle, or mole on the inside of one thigh. I sucked there, pretending I made that a mark. I would never though, what if I was discovered. He gasped and his hands went to my hair. He said ‘more please,’

He may have looked the most beautiful I’ve ever seen. I made sure to kiss him all over. He wiggles a lot. With his shirt pushed up I can see his belly move with every breath. He holds it sometimes. He breathes fast sometimes. He asked me for more. 

I might only know what makes sucking off someone good because Louis has been my only experience, him taking me into his mouth, but I have been reading too. I tried to do like the magazines said. It did make him moan like crazy and wiggle so much I nearly had to pin him. No, I said to myself. Don’t ever pin Louis. Remember the last time. Remember on the pitch when the player was ontop of him. 

My best made him sort of a little bigger. He was not really hard though. I think he actually was frustrated by me being clumsy compared to him. Maybe I’m thinking too much but he’s so small. And still so ....not like Liam and Zayn. Or me. We all have hair places we didn’t before. Our voices have changed. He’s still....

After awhile he gave me a shove. Hard. He had some tiny stiffening but not much like an erection should be. So he shoved me. Pouncing on top of me he began rubbing me through my shorts. My dick was of course hard already. His hand with fabric between us made me feel the need in a infuriating way. My hands found his bare bum and began playing with his arse. I wanted to see it, what’s between the cheeks. Where his father has been. But he had me/He always does/ Louis has me hard so fast and it hurts. 

Sliding away from my hands Louis freed me from my shorts and begins to sink his mouth onto me. Like always he makes me squirt the first time we do this so quickly. By body electric with the feel of his mouth. How does someone do that so well? 

He’s made no mess, except a little that gets in the side of his mouth that he wipes away, but mostly he’s swallowed every drop. He even looks at my spent dick and he looks hungry for it. He likes to lick the slit after his done this just to tease. Prick tease. I read that. And I’ve heard my brothers say that about random girls. I guess it’s true too that Louis is a prick tease for me which makes me hard again. He actually makes me feel so good doing what he does that I want to make a baby with him. I asked Beck about this once he says it’s not a real thing, mpreg. But since he’s into all that stuff about development and such I asked him, maybe someday? I want to make a baby with Louis.

It’s what I was thinking when I did it. I lost it. I flipped him off of me, careful not to pin him I put him face down, spread his legs and pushed his cheeks apart with my hands. 

Oh my fucking god! 

How does his father get himself in there? It’s got to be the smallest, tiniest, pinkest little thing. I mean it is so small. 

He laid there while I sat between his spread legs his bum in my hands keeping him exposed for several minutes. He didn’t speak. He laid there. Waiting. 

I let him go, rolled down beside him and pulled him to me hugging him, kissing his head. My hand rubbing him to soothe him. 

We were quiet. Then he asked. His voice wavering like he was afraid to ask. He asked me something like. “He says I’m made like a whore. Did I disappoint you?”

I could stop it, I cried. I cried and he got worried. What an awful reaction from me, I know now. He was pulling away, pulling on shorts and panicking. I had to bring him into me a try to hush him before he got away, back through the grate.

I told him he was not like a whore, he’s like perfection. Nothing is prettier than him. All of him. Down there, his entire body, his face, his heart, his spirit. I made him stay with me and let me cuddle him. We cuddled, we kissed. We fell asleep there on the blanket, the sun making us warm. And when we heard the whistle, Howard calling, we sprung apart and Louis quickly disappeared. Through the grate disappeared my precious kitten.”

……………………………………………

It’s a little painful for Harry reading the next series of passages. Aiden failing at being a lover that Louis wants, though Aiden’s heart is in the right place. It does occur to Harry that in his own case he was on the street servicing men because he had to. He didn’t have anyone, no tender to a fault Aiden to look after him. Harry had to learn fast. It was about survival. With Aiden, it’s that he’s so protective of Louis and Louis is so advanced on being useful to ‘his master’ that Louis has developed skills beyond his years. Still, Harry aches for them. He sees who Louis is. Who Aiden is. They love each other. 

He catches himself in tears over their mix-match. And then it occurs to him. Louis is really all too psychologically abused.

There’s more entires in the diary about on-going secret rendezvous between Zayn and Liam. Over time Aiden writes how Niall gets more into doing his cat rescues. Aiden sprinkles in bits about being a tender lover but mostly how he is on the receiving end of things. It seems most of Louis’ pleasures come from time on the pitch. Aiden also describes many a puppet show which Louis does at the park. Small children delight. He’s very creative improvising with whatever he has from among his crowd of kids. Parents are frequently as captivated as their children. 

There another special guitar music request for Louis’ birthday. And he’s coming into his fourteenth year. His Keepers of the Grate are in their sixteenth year. Niall could be going to Uni early, instead he’s doing more prep courses. It’s a conflict betwen he and Mr Horan motivating this choice and some decision on Niall’s part to guard Louis. Liam is doing some courses part time at Uni. He’s also working two jobs, saying he needs a third to make it. Zayn is breaking ground with his art career. They are clearly all sheparding Louis, staying with him despite their feeling about his decision to seek no outside relief. 

Harry reflects on where he was at sixteen, when Louis was fourteen. In Harry’s sixteenth year Harry was already making an insane amount of money. He had established an investment portfolio to grow his wealth handled by one of his clients who has a particular kink that Harry masters perfectly. Meanwhile, the same year, Louis, the son of this respected wealthy barrister, might go a week, ten days, a month, if he is lucky, without being raped. Raped or not, Louis doesn’t get paid. 

Back to the diary, year fourteen, Aiden writes how Louis has several, close calls on being out, away from home. He’s had one tutor get very suspicious when he goes outside. Louis was using the grate. The tutor is so much so suspicious as to look for Louos, not find him on the grounds, alert Hath to Louis’ behavior. Louis gets off from trouble by saying he was only outside playing around with balls. He suggests that the tutor was too fat to walk the entire garden, must have missed seeing him. Aiden writes how the ruse is both clever and a dangerous double entendre about ‘playing around with balls’; this excuse was conjured at a point where Louis is doing some new things to Aiden which involves the way he takes Aiden’s balls in his mouth...

Harry finds he’s hard reading about new skills Louis is gaining. Then he realizes how it must be happening, and Aiden writes this assumption too, that Louis is learning by forcebly doing these new things with Hath too. Like that, one thought of what Louis was living with and Harry’s dick goes soft. 

Another anniversary comes. It’s brutal for Louis. Aiden angonizes because he doesn’t see Louis for weeks after the date. It becomes too much for Aiden. He, Niall, Zayn make an eleborate plan. They get Howard involved. It’s a one time deal. Howard helps by getting all the staff into an emergency meeting in one wing of the mansion. The boys sneak up to Louis room. 

They find Louis sleeping there. Sleeping, or unconscious. He’s got wide gauze wraps around his torso like he’s healing from something bad. Waking him, even the slightest, is hard. On the beside stand are many, many bottles of pills. 

Even when Louis wakes, only slightly, he doesn't even speak when he sees his friends. He just cries. 

As time ticks down until the staff will be once again moving around the house, two of the lads sneak back out of the house leaving Aiden behind. Aiden can’t leave. This is the worse he’s seen Louis. Aiden stays. He crawls into Louis’ bed. Sleeps with Louis through the night. When people come to the room at various times, a nurse, a maid, Hath, Aiden is quick to be on the floor hiding under the bed.

It’s dicey for Aiden sneaking out the next morning. He has to get Howard’s attention without being discovered so Howard can take the security cameras off line for him to get out. Aiden makes it back to the grate only to find Zayn and Niall spent the entire night waiting at the grate unsure whether to wait for Aiden there, go to get him, or call authorities....

Two days later a note from Louis comes to Aiden via Howard.

“Aiden my love, was that really you? Were you here? Or am I just so dumb with love for you and full of drugs that I can’t see what’s real from what’s not? If that was you please don’t do that again. He will kill you. Please don’t come. Meet me on Tuesday after you done with school. Bring the blanket. Please, Aiden, please. Don’t come here again. But thank you if you were really here.”

……………………………………………………………………

By fall it’s becoming hard for Aiden and Louis to meet outside in the garden even with extra blankets. Aiden will be turning seventeen soon, Louis fifteen in December. It’s troubling Aiden that Louis isn’t yet requesting any sheet music for his birthday. Aiden knows the songs that Louis likes to sing when they do their thing and have their time lying there in the back of the Horan’s property, cuddling, Aiden having been pleasured, sometimes multiple times depending on how long they have. 

Aiden talks around with rambling about whatever until he gets to the point. Louis begun doing this thing where he runs Aiden’s erection between his bum cheeks that he's slicked with whatever Aiden brought. It’s insanely intense for Aiden, he says even without being inside Louis. According to Aiden that even if he’s already been sucked off twice so he’s sure his body can’t do it again yet when Louis does THAT. Well, sure, Aiden finds he can come a third time because Louis’ body is that special. Just watching him rutting himself on Aiden’s member is sexy as hell. 

Aiden knows Louis is tempting him by this non-penetrating dick riding, but Louis still looks preadolescent. His voice still much the same. Although one time Aiden thought he heard a crack. Louis’ body is still sleek. 

On this day which Aiden writes about, it’s the day before Niall birthday, 25 September, they are together on the blanket just talking about Niall’s party the next day. 

Louis tells Aiden that thinks he’s allowed to come to the party because the Horan’s invited families to the party, not just Niall’s friends. This means that Louis will be there if he’s “good”, Hath offered. His father will no doubt watch him like a hawk, Afterall it’s the Horan home, once another neighbor’s house, where Hath found a boy shoving his dick down Louis throat. It’s a memory so burned into Hath’s memory that he persuaded Mr Horan to install the same in house cameras and security he has. They will be watched even if Hath is not in the same room. Aiden reveals his parents and Beck are coming with him. Aiden’s parents haven’t seen Louis accept on rare occasions, fleeting since Jay’s death. The fight Patti had with Hath still burns her to the core. 

Aiden writes how suddenly Louis changes the subject from the party to be as direct as he can be with Aiden. Aiden writes “direct” underlined thee times. All caps. Then he seems to quote Louis word for word.

‘Aiden, he’s gonna fuck me when he gets home today. He’s going to make me feel him. He’ll say something like so I don’t forget who I belong to, whose whore I am. He’ll not hit my unless I fight him because he won’t want to be embarrassed in front of important people like the Horan’s, the Malik’s men with proper sons. But trust me he’ll fuck the hell out of me. Make me straight! I can hear him say it. Fuck me straight.’

Harry realizes Louis words sunk in so deep. Aiden can write them in quotes, this is a big development.

Sure enough Louis says more as paraphrased in Aiden’s diary: he needs Aiden to prep him. Louis says he knows Aiden can make him feel less pain if Aiden would just....

Louis asks for fingering. One. Two. Three. Just loosen him some, because soon, Hath will be home. The fucking will begin.

Harry’s is having a hard time understanding how a gay kid, seventeen, whose seen what, in Harry’s professional opinion is the most fabulous gay arse ever, can be stopped doing just fingering when this is his boyfriend pleading for it. Then again Aiden is a protector; he loves Louis so much he gets lost in it. Harry gets that. 

Aiden probably has performance anxiety. He describes how he tells Louis he wants to. He gets mad at himself for letting Louis down. He said he told Louis that he was just confused. 

That’s when Aiden says Louis does the thing. He sits legs folded under. Thighs spread. His bum about a foot above the blanket under him. He takes some lube to his fingers and stares at Aiden as he puts slicked fingers between his cheeks. He’s rubbing over his entrance. Staring at Aiden like a challenge. Aiden finds his thoughts all pop from his brain as he watches stunned, Louis with his body so perfect, his thighs firm, tight, holding himself there as he.... 

Aiden next writes that he swoops onto Louis. Knocks him back. He tries to kiss Louis but Louis slaps him lightly to make Aiden refocus. Demands. Louis demands. It’s in quotes again, so Harry knows it’s pretty close to word for word.

‘Aiden, I need you to do more than fucking kiss me. You’re the only one I want. I want that cock of yours in me. Don’t know how to eat me out, fine, get those fingers inside me, mine aren’t doing it. Finger me, scissor me, fucking dick me until you can’t anymore! If you don’t he will make sure he’s made me sore! Please. You won’t hurt me, he will.’


	25. Chapter 25

It’s a little painful for Harry reading the next series of passages. Aiden failing at being a lover that Louis wants, needs, though Aiden’s heart is in the right place. It does occur to Harry that in his own case he was on the street servicing men at the age Louis is in Aiden’s narration. Harry was not doing this by choice, same as Louis, because he had to, same as Louis. Harry didn’t have anyone, nobody, nothing like the tender-to-a-fault Aiden to look after him. What would his life be like if he had that? Instead Harry had to learn fast. It was about survival. With Louis and Aiden, it’s that Aiden is so protective of Louis and Louis is so advanced by being useful to ‘his master’ that Louis has developed skills beyond his years though he’s younger than Aiden. Still, Harry aches for them. He sees who Louis is. Who Aiden is. They love each other. 

Harry catches himself in tears over the mix-match of alouis and Aiden. And then it occurs to him. Louis is really all too psychologically abused. He doesn’t make rational decisions. 

There’s more entires in the diary about on-going secret rendezvous between Zayn and Liam. Aiden finds their secret amusing. He’s not sure how Liam likes it when he sees Zayn with girls. More and more girls are becoming a thing with Zayn as his artist reputation grows. 

Aiden writes how over time Niall is getting more and more into doing his cat rescues. 

As Aiden writes about private encounters with Louis he sprinkles in bits about being a tender lover but mostly how he is always finding he’s on the receiving end of things. It seems most of Louis’ pleasures other than sucking off his boyfriend come from time on the pitch. He dominates on the pitch, as with Aiden in private, although Louis clearly has submissive in his role when with Aiden. Harry’s experience tells him Louis is meant to be a power-bottom. 

Aiden also describes in painstaking details like only a teenager in love could of many a puppet show which Louis does at the park. Small children delight. Louis is very creative improvising with whatever he has to use as props from among his crowd of kids. Parents are frequently as captivated by his little plays as are their children. Harry finds that despite intricate descriptions, and a shamefully in-love way of lauding Louis’ talents by Aiden that he too as a reader is engaged. Why isn’t Louis able to do things like this? Clearly he is gifted working with children. Why won’t Gath give him any freedom? 

There another special guitar music request for Louis’ birthday. And he’s coming into his fourteenth year. His “Keepers of the Grate” are in or entering their sixteenth year. Niall could be going to Uni early, instead he’s doing more prep courses. It’s a conflict betwen he and Mr Horan motivating this choice and some decision on Niall’s part to be a secret guard to Louis. Liam is doing some courses part time at Uni. He’s also working two jobs, saying he needs a third, according to the journal to make it. Zayn is breaking ground with his art career. They are clearly all sheparding Louis, staying with him despite their feelings about his decision to seek no outside relief. 

Harry reflects on where he was at sixteen, when Louis is still only fourteen according to Aiden’s diary. In Harry’s sixteenth year Harry was already making an insane amount of money. He had established an investment portfolio to grow his wealth handled by one of his clients who has a particular kink that Harry masters perfectly. Meanwhile, the same year, Louis, the son of this respected wealthy barrister, might go a week, ten days, a month, if he is lucky, without being raped. Raped or not, Louis doesn’t get paid. Or respect. 

Back to the diary, year fourteen, Aiden writes how Louis has several, close calls on being out, away from home. He’s had one tutor get very suspicious when he goes outside. Louis was using the grate. The tutor is so much so suspicious as to look for Louis, not finding him on the grounds, she alerted Hath to Louis’ behavior. Louis gets off from trouble by saying he was only outside playing around with balls. He suggests that the tutor was too fat to walk the entire garden, must have missed seeing him. Aiden writes how the ruse is both clever and a dangerous double entendre about ‘playing around with balls’; this excuse was conjured at a point where Louis is doing some new things to Aiden which involves the way he takes Aiden’s balls in his mouth...

Harry’s dick gets slightly hard reading about new skills Louis is using on Aiden. Then he realizes how these skills must be developing, and Aiden writes this assumption too, that Louis is learning by forcebly doing these newest things with Hath too. Like that, one thought of what Louis was confeonted with and Harry’s dick goes soft. 

Another anniversary of Hath and Jay’s union comes sometimes midway into Louis’ fourteenth year. It’s brutal for Louis. Aiden angonizes because he doesn’t see Louis for weeks after the date. It becomes too much for Aiden. He, Niall, Zayn make an eleborate plan. They get Howard involved. It’s a one time deal. Howard helps by getting all the staff into an emergency meeting in one wing of the Tomlinson mansion. The boys sneak up to Louis’ room. 

They find Louis sleeping. Sleeping, or unconscious. He’s got wide gauze wraps around his torso like he’s healing from something bad. Waking him, even the slightest, is hard. On the beside stand are many, many bottles of pills. 

Even when Louis wakes, only slightly, he doesn't even speak when he sees his friends. He just cries. 

As time ticks down until the staff will be once again moving around the house, two of the lads sneak back out of the house leaving Aiden behind. Aiden can’t leave. This is the worse he’s seen Louis. Aiden stays. He crawls into Louis’ bed. Sleeps with Louis through the night. When people come to the room at various times, a nurse, a maid, Hath, Aiden is quick to be on the floor hiding under the bed.

It’s dicey for Aiden sneaking out the next morning. He has to get Howard’s attention without being discovered so Howard can take the security cameras off line for him to sneak out. Aiden makes it back to the grate only to find Zayn and Niall spent the entire night waiting at the grate unsure whether to wait for Aiden there, go to get him, or call authorities....

Two days later a note from Louis comes to Aiden via Howard.

“Aiden my love, was that really you? Were you here? Or am I just so dumb with love for you and full of drugs that I can’t see what’s real from what’s not? If that was you please don’t do that again. He will kill you. Please don’t come. Meet me on Tuesday after you done with school. Bring the blanket. Please, Aiden, please. Don’t come here again. But thank you if you were really here.” He signed it love and a smiley face./p>

……………………………………………………………………

By fall it’s becoming hard for Aiden and Louis to meet outside in the garden even with extra blankets. Aiden will be turning seventeen soon, Louis fifteen in December. It’s troubling Aiden that Louis isn’t yet requesting any new sheet music for his birthday. Aiden knows the songs that Louis likes to sing when they do their thing and have their time lying there in the back of the Horan’s property, cuddling, Aiden having been pleasured, sometimes multiple times depending on how long they have together. 

Aiden talks around what he really wants to say, “runaway with me”, with rambling about whatever until he gets to the point. Louis, meanwhile, got naked, begun doing this thing; Aiden’ erection was being made by Louis’ hand on it to slide along between Louis’ bum cheeks that he's slicked with the lube Aiden brought. It’s insanely intense for Aiden, it’s also a new thing. Aiden claims he says something about that to Louis; how it is a new thing, and even without being inside Louis, it’s crazy intense. According to Aiden that even though he’s already been sucked off twice by Louis, so he’s sure his body can’t do it climax again, yet when Louis does THAT. Well, sure, Aiden surprisingly discovers that he can come a third time because Louis’ body is that amazing in what it does to him. Just watching Louis, a delicate hand holding Aiden’s dick there, rutting himself on Aiden’s member is sexy as hell. 

Aiden knows Louis is tempting him by this non-penetrating style of dick riding, but Louis still looks preadolescent. His voice still much the same. Although one time Aiden thought he heard a voice-crack, Louis’ body is still sleek. 

The next entry that Aiden writes about is later in September, the day before Niall’s birthday. Aiden and Louis are together on a blanket just talking about Niall’s party the next day. 

Louis tells Aiden that thinks he might be allowed to come to the party because the Horan’s invited families to the party, not just Niall’s friends. This means that Louis will be there if he’s “good”, Hath offered. His father will no doubt watch him like a hawk. After all it’s the Horan home, once another neighbor’s house, is the site of where Hath found a neighbor boy shoving his dick down Louis’ throat when Louis was eleven. It’s a memory so burned into Hath’s memory that he persuaded Mr Horan after the Horan’s bought the home to install the same in-house cameras and security Hathaway uses. 

Aiden writes how then quite suddenly Louis changes the subject from the party to be as direct as he can be with Aiden. Aiden writes “direct” underlined thee times. All caps. Then he seems to quote Louis word for word.

‘Aiden, he’s gonna fuck me when he gets home today. He’s going fuck me hard, make me feel him for days. He’ll say something like make my arse burn so I don’t forget who I belong to, whose whore I am. He’ll not hit me, unless I fight him, because he won’t want to be embarrassed in front of important people, neighbors, like the Horan’s, the Malik’s, men he’ll say have proper sons, not a faggot like me. But trust me he will absolutely fuck the hell out of me. To make me straight! I can hear him say it, how he will fuck me straight.”

Harry realizes Louis’ words sunk in so impressionable that. Aiden can write them in quotes, this is a big development. Louis is standing up for what he needs, even though it’s maybe not what he should do which would be to go to the authorities.

Sure enough Louis says more as paraphrased in Aiden’s diary: Louis says he needs Aiden to prep him before Hath gets home. Louis says he knows Aiden can make him feel less pain if Aiden would just....

Louis asks for fingering. One. Two. Three. Just loosen him some, because soon, the raping will begin.

Harry’s is having a hard time understanding how a gay kid, like the tender Aiden, whose seen what, in Harry’s professional opinion is the most fabulous gay arse ever, (Louis’) can be stopped doing just fingering when this is tender-Aiden’s consensual boyfriend pleading for more. Then again Aiden is a protector; he loves Louis so much he gets lost in it. Harry gets that. 

Harry’s experience tells him that Aiden probably also has performance anxiety. He describes how he tells Louis he wants to. He gets mad at himself for letting Louis down. He said he told Louis that he was just confused. It’s clear Aiden is afraid.

That’s when Aiden says Louis does the thing. He's miffed at Aiden. Hes not giving up. He sits legs folded under his bum about a foot above the blanket they are on. Firm thighs spread wide. He takes some lube to his fingers and stares at Aiden as he puts slicked fingers around back to between his cheeks. He’s clearly rubbing his slicked fingers over his entrance. Staring at Aiden like a challenge. Aiden finds his thoughts all pop from his brain as he watches stunned, Louis with his body so perfect, his thighs firm, tight, holding himself there as he.... 

Aiden next writes that he swoops onto Louis. Knocks him back. He tries to kiss Louis but Louis slaps him lightly to make Aiden refocus. Demands. Louis demands. He’s doesn't want kisses. It’s in quotes again, so Harry knows it’s pretty close to word for word.

“Aiden, I need you to do more than fucking kiss me. You’re the only one I want. I want that dick of yours in me. Don’t know how? Fine, afraid to eat me out? Fine, at least get those long fingers of yours inside me, mine aren’t doing it. Finger me, scissor me, fucking dick me until you can’t anymore! If you don’t he will make sure he’s made me sore! Please. You won’t hurt me, he will.”

…….………………………………………

Aiden writes how he’s overcome with the unspoken call from Louis; Louis’ actions saying, ‘fine, be a coward, I’ll do it myself’. So he takes Louis to place Louis on tummy down, legs spread again. 

Before Aiden can part Louis’ cheeks Louis puts own hands on to his bum, he pulls cheeks apart. Once again Aiden describes being struck my the perception of this tiny, little thing. 

He puts lube there, on his fingers too and rubs one over the puckering of pink. He begins to feel like he should do it more, more faster, pressure. Moving to do this rubbing more quickly when Louis says something that Aiden’s quoted which makes Harry burst out in laughter because of its blatant, demanding directness.

If Harry hadn’t had the experience of being in Niall’s house gaming with the lads he wouldn’t know how funny a smart arse Louis can be. He’s very witty. Very quick. He has a dry humor and abundance of sass. It’s clear it’s with sassy frustration that Louis spoke to Aiden. 

So Aiden chronicals. ‘Aiden, are you trying to finger me bottom or are you thinking if you do that hard and fast enough my arse will light your finger on fire? Do you honestly think you finger is a match stick, cause you won’t get a flame out of my arse no matter how hard you rub it!”

Apparently then Louis slipped his one hand to touch himself showing Aiden how little circles around the pink was a nice thing to do. Delicateness was preferred. By working up to only putting a pretty small bit of a finger on the opening and press in slightly was nicer than....how do Louis say it, light a fire with furiously rubbing his arse. Harry’s not sure he’ll ever forget that one.

With incredible detail from the journalling Harry reads how Louis practically coaches Aiden evey step of the way as Aiden gets one finger going in, eventually two, by the time he makes three push through Aiden is describing a whole new world to his senses and he’s fighting conflict because his own body is more aroused than he ever thought it could be. 

He writes, ‘...by this time wasn’t sure who was sweating more, me or Louis, but when my third finger was in there, after the scissoring him with two, I was beginning to bubble precum from my slit. Jeez, the way Louis looks sweating, wiggling with my fingers making him like that. He’s moaning, saying more, keep my fingers in him. I twisted my fingers with three pushed in as far as I could making attempt to do like he said when I hand one, then two. And I must have done something just right. He jerked his bum up and arched, moaning like more than ever. He put his hand under him, seeking his dick with it. I decided to pull my fingers out and put him facing me. He whined but when I rolled him over his hand was on his first ever AMAZINGLY BEAUTIFUL ERECTION! 

I was officially impressed. I mean he’s a small person, but when we finally got his dick to be happy, he was just beautiful. I see he too has been getting beads of precum on his slit. I kiss him. I tell him he’s beautiful. He is absolutely perfect. Then i couldn’t resist, I lick the head of his pretty dick making the slit clean, he moans and raises his hips, shaking a little. He’s got this desperate look on his face, he nods like he’s hearing me ask, do I put my fingers back in? 

Sliding them in I do that thing where I try to curl one when I feel something I might have not felt before. Barely distinct but firmer. Brushing over it makes Louis jerk. His thighs guiver, I brush the spot again and Louis becomes unraveled. His hole spasms on me, his thighs shake, barely able to breath he begins shooting cum. Because he’s still got his hand on his dick it goes straight up in the air like popcorn. Staying with my fingers in him makes me follow his lead, my orgasm slamming through me like it’s never before. 

Maybe I should have removed my fingers before Louis began laughing. His laughing made me come down slow though, because it’s one of my favorite sounds so it’s sustained me. Sure enough Louis was surfacing back in reality ahead of me and as soon as that happens he’s back to sassing me.

He said ‘so I guess now that you finally got in there I’ll never get you to leave’.

What a sassy, sassy little twat. He’s laying there, his skin shimmering in sweat, splattered in cum, his cum, mine, looking like an ad for cake fights and he’s sassing me? How could he be any sexier? I kiss him. Pressing him under me our sweat making our mess plastering us together and I just keep kissing him. I try to make it like it must last forever because it occurs to me what he said. What he knows is coming later. He’s going to be raped. His dad is going to make him take it hard, harder enough to be sore so Louis won’t think of being this gay siren whore that his father claims he is, calling men too him. I’m pretty sure I’ve heard many, many of my mates say they think Louis is sexy. They admit if they had to fuck a lad, he’d be their choice. Never has this made me mad. Not at them. Certainly not at him. He can’t help that he’s made like he is. Many times I’ve heard Zayn talk about people like Louis are rare. Someone who’s looks make anyone with a dick want to fuck them. He’s said he’s got this new friend, some professional escort he met who came to his art show with an art teacher everyone knows is gay. The escort Zayn says is crazy kind of beautiful too, not like Louis’ but in his own kind of irresistibly sexy. Especially this escort’s mouth. Zayn said that before he went on to say he had his hands full with Liam. Of course Hands-full was a reference to Liam’s big dick. And yet as I write I reall how it looked when I saw Louis’ hard, fully erect. He’s his own kind of perfect. Okay I probably should stop writing now because this entry has me needing to go wank off. I can’t wait for tomorrow. Seeing Louis among people. It’s always great when he’s with friends. I just worry if one thing happens, what if some friend of Niall’s makes a mistake, innocent or not. Louis will be punished. Sending him back through the grate today was insufferable. I’m still not showered because I want the smell of him on me. I want to sleep tonight with the dried residue on me. Dream it. Relieve every sensation. I love him so much.”

……………………………………………………………………

*** 

………. ………………………………. 

“It’s September 26th. Niall’s birthday. I had to wait hours.....

We are home now, what a party! My god when I saw Louis arrive I was breathless because he was insanely beautiful. I couldn’t believe it when he walked through the door. Louis looked not only completely unharmed but actually like he was sparking with happiness. I knew by the way his eyes met mine and slipped away like I was a stranger, that he was staying safe, not doing anything to call out wrath. Niall went to greet him, moving in to hug Louis like he was doing with all his guests instead of being hugged Louis handed Nialll a wrapped gift, deftly avoiding a hug by doing so then looking at his father like for approval. 

Hath did approve. That’s when I noticed Hath was standing with a hand on Louis’ lower back, looking at his son not only approvingly but almost doting. I was shocked. It wasn’t my imagination either because Beck and my mum both looked at me and back at them, then at me like again, as Beck said, ‘what the fuck’. 

Mr Horan made it a point to greet Hath, Niall suggested Louis join he and his friends in the game room, while Mr Horan told Hath most the parents were gathering off the terrace outside in the garden. 

Father and son separated. Hath prefaced their parting by saying to Louis, ‘Be careful.’

That got my mum seething and saying quietly to me and Beck, ‘okay so that’s the Hathaway I know.’ She strode off in search of our father and probably for a drink.

I have to describe how absolutely beautiful Louis looked. He was not only free of any bruises, walking like he isn’t sore, but he also wore attire that is very against Hath’s prescribed style of clothing. He was in tight black jeans, hems rolled, his ankles naked and exposed. His button down shirt was this pretty blue shade with tiny flowers on it. He had it buttoned all the way up and the sleeves turned up too like with his pants hems. The thing that really made him so stunningly gorgeous in the shirt was how tight, form-fitting it was. Before the part was over I heard several different descriptions when passing some one who isn’t a close friend when they were referring to Louis. I heard, ‘pretty boy in the blue shirt’, ‘the pixie in the blue shirt’...I even heard ‘the pretty twink in the blue shirt’.

Oh how the blue in the shirt made his eyes seem unreal, so intensely blue. And happy. I saw happiness in his eyes. He alway gets these crinkles around them when he smiles. He smiled a lot at the party when he got to go downstairs with the other friends of Niall’s. 

I couldn’t understand how Louis was looking completely unharmed so I would move around the other people at the party, only graze by Louis for a minute or two, trying to avoid being seen as us being close, but talk to hims in short snippets. Niall made sure we new where cameras are. Beck a few times blocked the angle of one for as much of the time he could. Basically it was frustrating but with Zayn, Liam, Niall and Beck all trying to relocate us together where we wouldn't be obvious it was okay. It took breaking story from Louis into pieces to gather what happened yesterday with Hath and I did get an explanation for the weird behavior from Hath today. 

Sadly the explanation did not include that Louis wasn’t touched. Not in the slightest. It was hard to hear this. It’s harder now to write it.

He said Hath came home and immediately came for him ‘to prepare Louis to remember to be a good son’. Louis described him as edgy, much like he is when he sees something he imagines is too gay about Louis or if he deems Louis is being inappropriately admired. Louis tried not to incite him. He did what Hath asked. 

Hath made Louis suck him until erect. He did his usual disparaging talk, saying how Louis likes dick so much or he would never do that. All the while Louis said Hath enjoyed the deep throating, he forced himself too much a few times nearly making Louis black out, Hath admitted he had to remind himself not to slap Louis becuase ‘it would be a disgrace to have to explain it at the Horan’s’. Of course he said it was Louis who made him want this gay stuff, and for that Louis deserved a beating. 

He eventually pushed Louis in a way to his liking, put Louis face down and began working his knob between Louis’ bum cheeks. Louis asked for some lotion. Reluctantly Hath allowed it reluctantly but he soon liked the feel the heated lotion. Lotion heated by his son’s bum. Louis confided he feared Hath would realize his cock got entry easier, the prepping from what we did assisting his body. No. Hath just said it’s clear Louis’ sinful body wants this, and something like ‘the desire his faggot step son makes in him is because Louis is deviant.’

Once he pushed partly in Hath began his style of fucking. Pounding hard, pushing himself as deep as he can, grunting, spewing curses, blaming where blame not lie. Before long he felt his father get a slight shift in his positioning and then it happens.  


Louis confessed, tears with this that he kept thinking over and over how good it was when we were together. He pushed all the words, curses, accusation, blame, grunts from Hath away and repeated in his mind, “Aiden is fucking me. Aiden is in me. This is not happening, it’s Aiden, not him.”

Like that, the mantra he repeated in his mind combined with the shift Hath made inside him pressed a perfect place, just like my finger and Louis began to come to orgasm. His second one in his life, a lingering effect of orgasming because of me. 

He said he realized it was coming, now that he’s had his first he will never forget the first flicker with it. He said he was mortified, because his father was in him, not me, he began crying while his body just gave to it, before he could think he felt the wetness of the cock in him spasming with his body. He began to hear how greatly his monster of a father was pleased by this new thing with him while buried in him.

After Hath pulled his dick out, having stayed in him the longest of time he did the unthinkable. Louis felt himself being lifted gently, put in his father’s lap. Hath kissed his shoulder and petted him. All the while he said, “Daddy’s never had his body swept away like that, never.”

Louis told me he waited for the hitting, punching, blaming. It didn’t come. Instead he laid Louis down back down and looked at him. After a minute he said, ‘you’re as beautiful as she was. Every bit. Different color eyes, but so so beautiful like Jay. If you were her daughter this would be okay. But daddy still has to fight this, your effect on me, on men. It’s wrong. It tonight I’ll let you be just this time.’

We had to separate after this part of the rape story, for a little. To look not to get close again. Our friends saw how Louis was upset. Next time we grouped up we talked about how creepy it is, that if he had married Jay and Jay’s child was a daughter, Hath would still do this. We were curious if he recognizes his confession. He’s a predator, plain and simple. 

After another brief separation for appearances he told me what happened after. Hath did nothing but be kind and gentle. He sent Louis to bed with no harsh words. In the morning he was pleasant. Louis said that when he dressed for the party he was thinking only of dressing for me and worried he’d get trouble for what he chose when Hath saw him. When he walked out, for a split second he saw Hath’s eyes darken like a growing rage was impending. Instead of brutality that Louis knew would come Hath like his rage fade, said Louis looked nice. As they walked over from next door Hath kept his hand gently on Louis’ back, at the small of his back, like lovers do. 

But this time at the party people were turning the music up. Dancing. Not me. I just tried to stay out of view of cameras. Louis got bumped into really hard a couple times. One time Beck jumped in to pull Louis off the floor. I saw them whispering and Louis looked up at this tall, wide armoire. The Horans have a house that has vaulted ceilings on every floor. Sure enough Louis had asked Beck to help him get up there. There goes my brother lifting Louis up to what became his own, private dance floor. 

(Side note: not sure if Louis should be dancing on a “stage” dressed like that. I’ve seen him do many little dances for a few seconds on the pitch, celebrating when we’ve scored, or just to mess with other teams, but fuck-me he moves like....) 

The dancing went on for a while. I was enjoying standing by myself upmagainst a will just watching Louis having fun. Being himself. Carefree. Then I saw Beck do a head nod to the stairs that lead down to where we are partying. Hath was coming downstairs to look for Louis. He looked like he was worried and it occurs to me Louis wasn’t on camera being up there on this tall armoire. Hath must have checked monitors that are on the middle floor, off of the kitchen of the Horans. He didn’t see Louis. Or me. He came to see what we were doing. I know this is the case because my mum said Hath went into look at the mintors many times during the party and one time he came enraged. Went to see with the kids, we, were doing.

Entering this dance party scene, I see Hath first make out where I am. I’m back to the wall, actually right beside, and out of view from a camera. I’m alone. He then scans for Louis. He looks upset, maybe becoming angry. Then maybe because someone looks up at Louis, Hath spots him. I see this mix of emotions cross his face. Relief, confusion, almost a bit of anger forming at which point I’m ready to intervene. Beck too. But then his face goes strange. He pushes through the crowd of Niall’s friends going to the armoire. Me and Beck close the gap. Anticipating we need to stop something violent. 

Louis became frozen still as he sees Hath. Crossing his face is fear. I just wanted to protect him. What was happiness is not terror, I know he’s feeling it. 

The music is stopped. Niall is aware in this instant that we might have let Louis step over the line. With everyone stopped from partying there is all of us waiting for what is going to happen. Friends of Niall’s who don’t know Louis or his father are drug into a climate that has changed. 

Hath goes to the armoire. He reaches a hand up offering it to Louis. Louis looks like he’s gone pale with fright. His father though seems very, very calm. He speaks softly. “Son, come down from there now, please.” The fucking Bastard said “please”! I felt chills run through me and bile hit my throat. 

Louis sits, feet dangling over the front of the armoire, he slips from the it, his father making his landing soft with a gentle assist. Hath says to him with everyone still watching them, many, like me, mortified at what might happened because we made a mistake. Then Hath says something to Louis softly again like ‘maybe you should come with me.’ 

That was it. Hath made Louis leave the room where all the people close to Niall’s age are hanging out. He lead Louis from the room by doing that thing with his hand on Louis’ back....like lovers do.... I could do nothing. I wanted to go beat the life from this man, this rapist, this monster. 

I was sure he’d immediately take Louis home, beat him, rape him. Instead I found they went upstairs and Hath made Louis stay by him. He mostly kept his hand on Louis’ back. Sometimes it was lower than it should be. His fingers had to be resting on the upper part of Louis’ bum. Louis looked nervous, timid. He barely made any attempts to smile even when other older people were politely talking to father and son. Louis stayed walled into his place. He must have been thinking how bad it would be when they got home. 

Meanwhile my mum couldn’t stop glaring at Hath. My dad told her to let it be. She glared at him. That made her very mad. Being our mom, fiery, kinda no man’s weaker half she went to Hath and launched into her suggestion. It’s nice to see Louis, she said. He’s missed at school...I noticed she didn’t say football. Oversight or purposeful? She said something like we should get the boys together, Jay would have wanted that. 

Hath snapped at her. He got that same thing about him as the one time time he and mum fought after Louis’ mum went into the hospital. He stiffened up and told her that what Jay wanted doesn’t matter now. Louis is his son, not hers, not anyone else’s. He’d do with Louis as he saw right. My father came over telling Hath to calm down, Patti was only suggesting it’d be nice for the lads to get together.

It was tense for some time when Hath decided enough of that and he took Louis by a tight grip on his bicep and said they were leaving. 

I was too frightened for writing anything in my diary, anything about tonight, until just a bit ago when Niall called. He said Louis called him, Hath allowed it, for him to say thank you to the Horan’s for the invite to the party. Louis then whispered before he got off the phone quick. ‘Please tell Aiden that he’s not raging. He’s being nice. I’m fine. Please, please Niall, tell Aiden that I love him.’”


	26. Chapter 26

Harry feels the frustration for Aiden and Louis when he reads how the approaching winter months make their rendezvous on the Horan’s grounds more challenging. Niall invest some time in making a gardener’s outbuilding useful for them to alleviate the challenges. Niall’s improvements in the structure go unquestioned by his father as Niall says he’s making it into a shelter for stray cats. “Better to have fewer cats in the house”, Mr Horan agrees. 

Whenever they can, Louis and Aiden try to hookup ahead of times Louis suspects he’s very likely to be wanted; he’s learned the signs. It’s always bittersweet, Aiden writes about being with Louis and doing what they do, “in part because it will help reduce Louis’ suffering when Hath takes him, but the sweetness of prepping him leaves me when he goes home and all I have is the bitterness sending him off to suffering.”

Aiden routinely journals how he pushes aside the horrific situation, focusing instead on how much he is loving discovering what he can do to Louis’ body, learning new ways of making Louis feel good, hoping it sustains Louis through the abuse. 

Aiden particularly likes a technique where he keeps Louis in a state of near orgasm for longer and longer amounts of time before letting Louis come. It was in some of the materials Beck brought him to read, come play. Aiden is finally feeling like he’s got some expertise growing. He’s definately feeling keyed in to what Louis needs. He never does come-play with Louis when Louis is really anxious or just needs to be quickly prepped, gotten off. As always, never does Aiden do anything involving restraining Louis.

By this time Aiden is also wanting to do more adventurous things than using only his fingers. He writes he’s not sure why with Louis asking for him to put his dick to use that he’s still hesitating, cautious, but Aiden fears it’s not right to put his rather large dick in such a small person, maturing sexually or not. He makes the excuse to Louis that it was a promise to their mothers years ago to abstain until both of them were mature enough for sex and he says Louis is still, “very childlike” for fifteen. He describes instead of “that” to give Louis another form of pleasure that he thinks can’t possibly be harmful. 

*** 

…………………………………………………… 

“And oh my god”, Aiden writes, “the way Louis became when I did my first try at licking him open. He became positively a mess, a beautiful, sexy, sexy, sweet creature. He made the most sinful sounds. His moves, whether it’s deliberatively or involuntary body reactions, it’s now clear to me it’s like he’s made for being unraveled every minute of every day just for the pleasure of seeing him made into such a mess. Maybe this is because he’s getting curvier, developing more into a mature body, but fucking-a he’s beautiful when he’s teased to the point of breaking. I put my fingers back in when he wanted to release, making him shudder just with the anticipation while I held him suspended there until he couldn’t take it any longer. This made him come so hard, so long. I so pray that the good feel we make in him, he takes that in his mind to use later, makes it so Louis is able to fantazise through the horror that maybe the dick inside him could be mine not really that of the predator.”

……………………………………………………

Several diary entries describing their sex in great detail has Harry horny. As he has no plans within client he goes to a club looking for a hookup. Inside the pulsing venue sex is in the air, Harry gets a drink and begins to scan the crown for a candidate. He wants to find someone with a booty like Louis’, mostly this means look at the women, but he’d rather not go that way because Louis is not a girl. 

As he scans the room....is that....Zayn? With Liam? Yes, yes it is. Liam is behind Zayn, Zayn grinding his bum into Liam’s pelvis. 

Harry watches them for a while. This is not helping his urges. When Harry gets to a point he needs to do something for himself quick he decides to order drinks to be sent to Zayn and Liam. He pays for drinks, tips the waitress very well to see the drinks over to the cozy couple as soon as they come off the dance floor and give them a message. 

Harry almost wishes he could wait to see their reaction to his teasing but he really has to go. Go home, read more of Louis with Aiden and just wank off by himself. It’s still days away from the reservation Liam made for him when he can hopefully see Louis. Maybe get the invite from Hath to join them. Maybe. But Ben has said to stay away. It’s not safe. Harry has to. He’s addicted to something about Louis. Oddly as he wonders what it is that is so appealing he has an image of the curvature of Louis’ ear. Having Louis laying on his chest in the bath following the two threesomes, Harry’s made a study of the cute way Louis’ ear is shaped. He’s brushed his lips against Louis’ ear as he drinks in how Louis smells. As he walks he thinks about that. Louis ear. How can something as ordinary as an ear be so sensual? 

*** 

……………………………………………………… 

“I’m back from being with Louis on the precipice of the Jay-Hath anniversary. It’s always been the darkest day of the year. However since Louis has been able to orgasm while the monster is inside him it’s been much less a nightmare of a routine during the rape and in general, day to day stuff. Hath takes Louis out more, let’s him dress as he wants, doesn’t snap at the smallest of things he deems ‘too gay or seductive’. It’s like how he was at Niall’s party. It’s disturbing but he’s less brutal. How will the changes impact this anniversary? I can only hope Louis makes it to Niall’s tomorrow and I can find out.” 

……………………………………………………… 

“June 8. No Louis today. I’m devastated. I should never let him go back. But if I try to stop him, restrain him, he’ll breakdown. How do I stop this?” 

…………………………………………………… 

“June 9. I ditched today so I could wait at Niall’s. Louis came. He was fine, very tired. He told me he wasn’t beaten like normal for the anniversary because the first time the monster went in him he was able to come. And the second. After that he couldn’t. The bastard made it a point to do it in him again and again. Hath would come each time he fucked Louis, each time taking him longer. He was disappointed Louis couldn’t orgasm for him after the first two times being fucked, but he seemed to accept it. In total he did his thing in Louis five times over the course of the night. Louis slept after that for an entire day. Exhausted. Sore. 

Louis said he just couldn’t keep the fantasy of being with me going in his mind. He tried, unable to anymore when he got so seeped in the scent, sounds, touch of Hath on him, in him. It was exhausting. He prayed it would turn to beating so the dicking would finally stop. 

How are we going to do this for another two and a half years? All we did today was lay on the blanket in the back of Horan’s garden cuddling and kissing, Louis sleeping much of the time. Sleeping but restless. God I love him so much. I want to take him far away. Marry him and make my life, being the source of his happiness. I want to make a baby in him. A baby for him to love and to love him like only a child can love their parent. Why can’t we run away? That’s right. He still says he needs something of Jay’s. The child loves the parent.” 

…………………………………………………… 

*** 

Harry is reading on. He’s about to a turning point, he thinks. It sounds like Aiden on the verge finally allow himself to fuck his lover who is desperately pleasing for it. 

Harry stops reading just for second because he has a text from Ben. It’s captivating what he sees of it on his phone screen “I got something. Hospital record. Louis Tomlinson...” states the message from Ben. 

Harry opens it to read on. “... brought to hospital, age sixteen, for accidental fall at residence. Substained numerous injuries. Concussion, sprains, bruises. When I saw lab results ordered before treatment one thing that is clear, the hospitals actions don’t align with a brief official report entered when the ambulance came to the scene. 

Harry calls Ben. “What’s up?” 

“Okay so last year there was an emergency call. Authorities take incidents in that part of town seriously because it’s weathy families so when the ambulance was dispatched so was an officer. There’s a report of his statement but no charges because it’s ‘accidental’. In the statement Hathaway claimed the fall, down a set of stairs was precipitated by his son, a minor, retuning home with friends, drunk. They had been out drinking. His father states in the report at the scene that he suspected his sone was doing ‘other things’ too. What he means by ‘other things’ becomes clear when you look at his injuries. It’s a nice way of saying Louis was being physical with his drinking buddies. Of course no friends were there for anyone to speak to, Hath claims he doesn’t know the boys, they all ran off when Louis fell. And convenient way to imply they are bad people.”

Ben goes on. “So when you go to the records of injuries, you and I both know full well how he got them. I mean the fall is different, it’s what lead to a concussion and might have made Louis badly injured enough Hath feared he’d killed him, but here is what makes the demonstrable challenge to Hathaway’s statement. He said Louis was out with other lads, minors, dinking. That Louis was drunk, appeared to be doing all sorts of immoral things along with drinking. Okay so when the hospital reports on his blood work have no mention alcohol or other substances in their analysis, there’s a conflict in the evidence with Hath’s statement. Furthermore, there’s no chance the hospital would treat a head injury the way they did if Louis was drunk. Alcohol would compound the danger of a head injury.”

Harry restates the significance of meaning back to Ben. “So Louis wasn’t out, he never goes out with friends, he wasn’t drinking therefore if he was pushed down the stairs, Hath is caught in a documented lie.” 

“Well we don’t know if he was pushed. He might have been fighting his father off and fell. Anyway it’s a start.” 

“This is sill huge. Really hug, isn’t it Ben? How, I’m curious, how’d you get those records?” Harry’s asks. 

“The domestic report by the officer is in public records, lots of research of who, where, when for activities that were not deemed criminal but took officer time. That’s where I found the first lead. The medical records I got from a friend of Jay Tomlinson. Jay might have died years ago but her coworkers who were working with her back then all remember her fondly. Lou Teasdale, senior nurse now, considers Jay a mentor becuase Jay was experienced when Lou just started, Jay took Lou under her wing. Lou remembers young Louis vividly. She was working that night last year when Louis was brought in. Having not seen him for years she was more interested in his case than she would normally be. She said nothing seemed right about the situation. Hath acted strange. She tried to be friendly while he waited for doctors to treat Louis, she suggested getting together with them, later sometime after Louis was on his feet, because Jay would like that, and he cut her off, was quite strangely rude. She said it wasn’t that he was worried for his son either, she knows how people are when they are sick with worry. It was different. When I came asking about the case Lou gladly went and found, copied the files for me. She actually pointed out that she always thought his injuries were disturbing. She interpreted the records for me; the significance of the statement I had from the accident report and how that doesn’t align with the medical treatment is irrefutable. She also thinks there should have been consideration for alarm over sexual activity of a patient below the age of consent. The doctors who treated Louis were declining to speak to her at that time when she brought up those concerns to them, you know privacy issues, but a fellow nurse also working that night with the team that treated Louis said she heard the doctor in charge inquire with the father, suspicious of the injuries. Hathaway said something to placate the doctor like ‘let’s keep this hush, but my son is into that gay stuff, he likes it rough, he does this all the time, I’m trying to break him of it’. It sounds to me Harry like Hath successfully used his reputation to spin suspicion away from himself.” 

“This Lou Teasdale. She’s a former friend. Do you think I could talk to her? I mean she’s been carrying this suspicion for a year.” 

Ben can't hide his concern. “No Harry. You stay out of this. She’s given me all the information. At the right time we will call on the actual nurse who Lou said knew there was an issue and the doctor who spoke to Hath. Lou wasn’t on the treatment team. Her giving me the documents puts her at risk for breaking laws but the information of the actually relevant witnesses to question about this is in my portfolio. We are building something here, something to take Louis out of the hell he’s in, forever. Got to do, you do yours. How’s the diary reading coming? Go to when he is sixteen and see if there’s anything about this event. It happened about this time of year, June. June 7th. He was admitted after midnight onnJune 8th. I want to know what Aiden said about the days leading up to then and just after. Read. Report any details relevant to my investigation. We will get Louis out of Hath’s domination Harry.” 


	27. Chapter 27

Harry’s looks at his calendar once the call with Ben ends. Fucking fuck! Sure enough the date of the reservation at Payne’s is June 7. June 7! The anniversary. It just now occurs to Harry that this is the day, still several days away, that Hath becomes the most monstrous...

The diary chronicles over the years it was the anniversary that was always the worst day for Louis. Hath would rage in his grief and need for his wife. It was always the most brutal day of the year until, at 15, when Louis had begun to give his father heightened pleasure, by orgasming when being raped because the assault was being made muted by Aiden’s love, his prepping Louis’ body. Harry understands now more than ever; this is why Hath brought him in to their house on both occasions only because Harry made Louis come when Harry sucked him off. Louis had lost his connection to Aiden. Harry was a surrogate. 

All of this is aligns with is what Louis’ friends said before Harry got into this with Louis so deeply to know what is the reality of Louis existence is like. 

Historically things were always very bad for Louis. He was way too when he was first forced into having sex. Things got better eventually, Harry knows now this would be about when Aiden began prepping him, helping Louis to suffer less. Better sex for Hath meant he began letting Louis get out more. Hath became less easily provoked. All of which is because Louis was able to orgasm during rape by virtue of shear determination to put his mind someplace in a fantasy. Close out the monster, imaging he’s with his lover. 

However last year June 7, Hath came for Louis at sixteen in a rage. There was a renewed struggle, for some reason. Louis fell, or was pushed down the stairs. 

Considering what Ben just told him Harry is at a loss what to do. Read? Really? Just read? It’s now June 3rd, Louis is seventeen, the assaults have been uneven over the last year. Harry gathers this without reading all of the diary basing this on what he’s learned in knowing Louis in this short time. Being invited into the twisted assaults on two recent occasions it seems like everything sexually with Louis is not so consistent, not enough to Hath’s likening. So how can Harry stay out of this and just read? How can Harry possibly wait to see Louis next only if Hath calls on him? Should he call Ben and tell Ben that he has a reservation along side of Tomlinson’s for June 7? Ben won’t like it. Not since Ben is trying to rewrite his relationship with Harry and being all protective. 

With frustration and concern unresolved about the upcoming date, Harry skips from the precipice of reading Aiden and Louis going rapidly, at long last, into Aiden fulfilling Louis’ request for Aiden “to give a proper dicking” to read about June of last year. It’s not what he wants to read, he wants to read about nice sex between two loving people, maybe get a glimpse of Louis being properly cherished, but no. Homework read about June last year. Thanks Ben.

*** 

………………………………………………

“We has a wonderful day together. With us both pretending for each other that we are brave enough for Louis to go face the monster. It’s a silly game, all this pretending.

We both know it’s not working. It’s like the better the sex we share becomes the harder and harder it’s getting for Louis to do that one thing his father, the child molesrter, rapist, wants out of him above all else.

He wants Louis to come when he’s got ‘Daddy’s’ dick in him. Hath is no longer content with when Louis sucks his dick to make him hard, even if he comes down Louis’ throat, like he usually always does. He’s not content if he comes in Louis by his first penetration becuase Louis feels so good, which he also usually does, Louis says. No, now he’s always chasing The Big One. He always wants the feeling of Louis coming on his cock, Louis’ walls pulsing on his cock making it more intense, longer pleasuring the monster. Like an addict, Daddy as he calls himself when he’s doing this, has to have it from his.....fill in the blank for all the slurs he uses for calling Louis.

Louis just can’t make it happen so much anymore. He tries to hold me in his mind to endure the rape, painting beautiful pictures of us to survive the misery, but Hath isn’t the same as me, so Louis slips sometimes. And if Louis doesn’t give what Hath needs Hath is getting more violent, again. 

What will happen tonight? My heart is breaking.”

……………………………………………………………

“It’s 2AM. Niall and Zayn called. An ambulance was at Tomlinson’s. It’s Louis. Liam is on his way to the hospital now since he works there part time, he’s going to dress like he’s showing up for work, key in, and see what is going on. I’m sitting here with Beck, he’s telling me to hold on. Louis is tough, Beck says he knows Louis will be okay.

It’s 6AM. Naill and Zayn are going to the hospital. So are their parents. The neighbors are all gossiping about the emergency at the Tomlinson’s. Zayn says he’s seen Liam stealthy skulking around the wing of the hospital unit where Louis is trying to get into Louis’ room. Liam hasn’t approached them to relay anything because their fathers are all there too, consoling with Hath, whose acting like he’s all concerned and wondering how Louis slipped out with some ‘troublesome looking young men’. 

We all know it’s a lie, but it’s a lie for appearances to the neighbors, the doctors, nurses. Then making it worse for Louis, Zayn said his father is buying the lie. Malik claimed to have seen Louis around the city park a few times. This we know could be true, Malik has never said anything about spotting Louis out before. Tomight promted him, because of Hath’s false accusations so Malik wants to believe Louis has been sneaking around. It’s sounded like Zayn, from what he said when he called to update me made sure he disputed his father so everyone would hear them. Zayn tried to at least deflate his father’s damning admission by talking about how bad his father always is at thinking all white people look alike. He points out that his father always gets Louis and Liam confused as illustration when the only actual feature they share is young, white males with brown hair but even that is different. Louis has Chestnut highlights, Liam is darker brown, Zayn said. Never mind they look absolutely nothing alike. Sounds like Zayn was beautifully publically dismissive of his father’s mental acuity. Meanwhile I wait. How is Louis? 

9AM. June 8. Louis is sleeping. Liam called he said Zayn and Niall were on their way to mine, Beck has fallen asleep in my room after I got a call from Liam and calmed a tiny bit. 

Liam said it wasn’t easy to get in Louis’ room. Not until things settled. There was a nurses-aid who was with Louis, watchful because of Louis injuries. Liam used the fact that the aid was at the end of a thirty hour shift to bring him coffee and offer to sit for a few minutes in Louis’ room while the guy walked off some fatigue. The chap was very happy to get a few minutes to stretch, drink some coffee. Liam made a quick look at the charts. He says Louis has a concussion, bruises and sprains. His hands have bruises like he was really fighting off the assault. He’s going to remain under close watch because of his head injury. 

I asked Liam more about how he looks and Liam said ‘don’t ask me that.’ 

All I want to do is kill Hath. At this point I don’t care if I go to jail forever. I want to kill him. It sounds like the lads are here...” 

…………………………………………… 

*** 

Harry reads next about the days to follow. Aiden just writes the date of each day and that Louis is not home yet. Then the date each day after Louis is home. Aiden hasn’t seen him though. Hath is letting Zayn and Niall visit during this time when he is home. They do then bring news to Aiden. Following each day they visit Louis, Aiden has a note for Louis, Louis sends Aiden a note too. Louis’ notes are never replying to Aiden’s questions; they are something like song lyrics, they say nothing of his abuse. Never do the visiting friends respond to Aiden’s query, how does Louis look? They avoid the question. Louis must have made them swear to be hush. Aiden is mad at that but also eternally grateful for their friendship. It’s fairly obvious that even when Louis can resume rendezvous, he won’t do it until he’s free of signs of his horrible experience. The day when they meet up again in Horan’s garden comes three weeks after the terrible beating. 

*** 

…………………………………………… 

“Louis tells me today he’s gotten all turned around in his head. He knows he has to put me into his mind for enduring the abuse, but when he does that he is experiencing a narrow window of fantasizing that before the horrible reality pushes me out. He’s left with the monster raping him. Worse yet if he tires to hold me in his mind too much he makes a very dangerous mistake, like he did that night; he might have said my name when he’s being fucked. That’s when Hath lost it. He became massively enraged, violent. Raging about my name said. I asked how Louis fell down the stairs, he said he can’t remember anything about that either. 

After this revelation, I made sure we did mostly cuddled and kissed. I swear he looks more delicate every time I see him even though I think he’s hit his maturity in stature and build. It’s like he’s settled into the most wonderful mix of feminine and boyish beauty. Shapely boy arms, strong boyish legs, but a waist and a booty like a girl. His torso says twink, he’s got like no chest muscles so it emphasizes his prominent collarbones. He has this tiny poof of a softness to his belly just below his belly button, it is simply a place of nirvana to nuzzle and kiss. I like to do this until he can’t stand it, it always makes him hard. Overall he’s just insanely pretty. His eyes, his lashes, his bone structure and then there’s what maybe me alone has seen because The monster doesn’t do gay stuff - by that I mean prep Louis - and between those full cheeks is his tiny pink flower of an entrance. I did make sure to eat him out today and make him come with just that, nothing ever inside him other than my tongue. When he’s ready, maybe not for days or weeks, but when he is, I’ll make sure to fuck him nice and slow like he likes. But not today, not even if he could have asked. I’m just glad he’s alive and I want to kill Hath. I’m not sure, but I think my brothers might help with that. Grayson, being the tallest of us, passing Soren, older or not, has mentioned he’s available for painful murder should I want help.”

…………………………………………………

***


	28. Chapter 28

Harry’s finished the diary by the time he leaves his flat for a job with a client over lunch. This client always schedules two hours about mid day with room service delivered at the luxurious hotel of th client’s choosing. He selects one of London’s finest. The client, a regular with Harry, now living in Geneva, always hopes to get in his time with Harry when he can. Even if he has to schedule his meetings around Harry’s availability. Harry was “busy” on this night. It’s June 7th. So they met at this exclusive hotel.

After their two hours together Harry is leaving the hotel walking past the lobby as he heads from the elevators to the street entrance. On one side is the reservations desks off to the other is a great room, once a ballroom where lunch is still being served. Live music is played. Something soothing, classical, it sounds like a violinist accompanied by piano on this day. Harry’s glad it’s soothing music because he’s a nervous wreck counting down the hours until dinner reservarions at Payne’s. Harry still has to confirm who he’s going to be bringing with him. He’s still not decided whether to inform Ben. So.

...so he steps out of the hotel with the door opened by a finely dressed doorman. There, parked off to the most privileged spot, is blue Bentley. Howard is there standing with a valet they are chatting and smoking.

Harry approaches. Howard sees Harry and steps away from the valet to greet Harry. Awkward politeness then the question, what are you doing here they both ask the other. 

Harry says he was meeting with client. Howard says brought Louis and Eleanor to perform. Louis and Eleanor? Who’s Eleanor? 

“Go look. You see. She’s playing the violin. She’s Louis’ music tutor. They play here occasionally as part of his training, go take a look Harry. Sir isn’t here, he’s out of town.” 

“Wait. He’s out of town?” Harry asks. The reservation at the restaurant, Harry can’t fathom, how can he be out of town? 

“Yes, yes, out of town, he gets back in a couple hours. So go on. Take a look. It’s not going to harm anything. Well as long as you don’t make Eleanor jealous. She sorta has a crush on Louis. Poor thing.” 

Harry almost trips over himself in his haste. Which one is poor thing Harry isn’t sure. 

Entering the large room, busy with people having luncheon, there off to the side on a raised floor is a grand piano. At it sits Louis Tomlinson. Beside the grand is a young, attractive woman, the tutor Eleanor. She’s maybe twenty, if that, with long brown hair that she’s styled for suitable to blend with her formal, black dress. She’s playing violin and has a crease in her forehead conveying her passion for her music. Louis is wearing a black tuxedo, white shirt, white tie. His hair, by Harry’s take, is far more stylish in an art-novo quiff-manner than Harry thinks Louis likes, but it’s still beautiful. 

As they are playing Harry finds his way around the room, passing off the maitre’d by saying he’s looking for someone, he doesn’t want to interrupt the diners or the music. At least half of it is true. 

After a few more songs, the crowd gracious in their applause, the performance wraps up, Harry observes how a few patrons seem to go immediately to this Eleanor. Clearly she has a following. Louis it seems wants to dart out of the room as fast as he can. He’s said something to Eleanor as he leaves, who nods dismissing him. Louis heads to through the lobby to the restrooms. 

Harry follows. 

When Harry enters the men’s room. Louis is at a urinal. A man is in a stall. The man comes out goes to wash hands. Harry holds back. When the man leaves, Louis turning to use the sink he gets a startle as he’s destracted trying to zip his fly and he suddenly senses a presence. 

With a jump back Louis shreeks, ends it with “H-H-Harry?”

Harry hasn’t ever felt this. 

This.

He startled Louis. And oh my god how Louis looks. 

He’s frightened at first but his face lights when seeing it’s Harry. Oh how it lights. Like Aiden wrote about in his diary, crinkles around Louis’ eyes...

Suddenly as Harry steps in to Louis, compelled by Louis’ delight, Harry is almost subconsciously, aware of how he’s taller, broader, and frankly just ...okay lost for wanting properly descriptive words, the Louis in front him is this adorable pixie. Something of an enigma. He’s pretty, yet tough. Witty, clever, sassy, and oh fuck, just pretty. Harry looks at him, suddenly the distance so closes between them. 

Harry is befuddled. Closes. Why? Why are they close?

“Hi.” Louis says. Only it’s not like just a simple “Hi”. It is the kid of “hi” that hangs in the air, makes one want to hold it in their ears. Maybe too much because they want to hear it again. 

And Louis is smiling. Harry knows the kind the of smile. He just can’t believe it placed on him when Louis must still be greieving Aiden.

Harry is about to step back. Realizing his imposing overshadowing stance, when he finds his waist has these hand slipping across them. His space invaded. And it’s Louis who pulls them together. A kiss made. 

It’s not any kind of kiss. Louis body went into his; a thigh between Harry’s legs, their contact running from torso to knee, Louis keeping them locked body to body as he imploys a kiss made firm and deliberative. 

Harry simple melts. His hands foe to cup Louis’ face he walks Louis back until a wall stops them as he makes Louis back to it. 

Once the need for oxygen overpowers them they break apart. How did this happen? 

It seems both are startled now by the compelling force that overlook them, but the way Louis is looking at Harry’s mouth assure Harry that the breathtaking kiss is what Louis wants to fall back into. Standing there where Harry has walked him back into a wall he has no sign of wanting to be anywhere else, not bothered by his confinement. To certify this Louis rises on his tippy toes, goes in for another kiss and this time it’s with tongue. 

The second kiss Harry manages to find himself breathing through, a good thing because it’s one that seems to go on, which as for Harry, seems to block out any need for anything else but this kiss. Eventually they do pull apart. 

Harry is thinking of a funny quip to make when Louis makes all thought disappear by saying to him the weirdest post-kiss comment anyone has ever made. “Is it safe?” 

Harry at first is thinking his meaning refers to their kissing in the restroom and then he realizes Louis wants to know the diary is safe.

He doesn’t step back because he’s likening this being close and apparently so is Louis. Louis’ hold, hands on Harry, remains.

“The diary? You mean is the diary safe? Yes, yes it is.” Harry replies. He’s enjoying having Louis keep arms around him.

Louis asks, “Have you read it? I mean it’s okay if you have, I would, I mean if I were you.”

Harry’s not certain he wants to admit, but then Louis says he would, so there is that. “Yes, but only the parts about football.”

The witty reply is success. Louis laughs. He laughs and begins to kiss Harry again while he’s still amused. This melts Harry who finds he’s positively overtaken in a feeling of bliss caused by the sound of Louis’ laugh in earnest.

When the kiss makes Louis whine, wiggle a bit where he is confined, Harry pulls away. Louis looks most decidedly like he was well and properly kissed. His lips are brighter red, his face flushed slightly and his eyes say that he wants more. They are also looking Harry up and down like he’s drinking in all of Harry’s beauty. Harry knows a lot about this look yet somehow it’s different when it’s Louis.

“Shouldn’t you be going? You’ll be missed?” Harry says. He state this because he can feel how much Louis wants more.

“Missed? Oh, by Eleanor.” The way Louis says that sounds dismissive. Like Eleanor is a complete afterthought. Surely though, if Louis excused himself after their performance to use the men’s room, it would be odd if he wasn’t back soon. 

Louis continues without explanation. “Give me your phone please.”

“What?”

“Your phone.”

Harry hands Louis his phone. As Louis enters a number he steps away from the wall and manages to slip off his tux jacket while trading the phone from one hand to another. Laying the jacket over the wall of one of the stalls he steps up to the sink looking at the reflection of Harry behind him by using the mirror as he speaks to the person he’s called.

“Howard, hey. Um could you maybe tell Eleanor you came in the restroom and I was in here getting sick?” There’s a pause when Howard is obviously saying something. “Yeah, just tell her I was nauseated and I don’t want to risk being sick in the car. I need time to finish, you know something like that.”

Louis ends the call. With Harry standing behind him, Louis facing away but looking at him in the reflection it occurs to Harry how clever Louis is. He’s just bought them time. Motive is implied when Louis slips the braces that were under his tux jacket off his shoulders to let them dangle. The effect is both suggestive and seductive. With them dangling down they remind Harry of woman’s garter, belt and silk hose. Noting also how the straps also drawl attention to Louis’ bum and thighs completes the image because with Louis standing with his back to Harry as he faces the mirror. It’s impossible to not see how beautifully fitted the pants showoff Louis’ shape. Clearly Louis is aware of this. He most rightly observes the way Harry can’t stop looking at his bum. Maybe that’s why he’s so forthright.

“I mean if I were you,” Louis says like they are still having their oringal conversation only, nothing about Eleanor waiting for him or about how Howard took care of that, “I would have been reading it. Surely you must be curious about things. Things other than football.”

Louis stopped talking but he hadn’t stopped fiddling with his clothes. He stands there, letting implications linger as he undoes his tie, unbuttons on his shirt that he’s pulled free from the waist of his pants.

“What I’m saying is that I know it’s really not right of me to come on to you, I mean, you were here for work right? And I know you expect to get paid for things, but maybe, maybe if that way that you seem to like me makes it perhaps okay that I proposition you. Maybe it wouldn’t be so bad if I asked you to let me make you hard and asked you to fuck me, even though I can’t pay you, right?”

Finishing the awkward ask, Louis turns so he looking straight at Harry. In his face is hopefulness an perhaps a small bit of anxiousness. 

It’s the most insanely bizarre situation Harry’s ever faced. Countless times Harry has had people ask him for it for free. Many, many times he’s has people want sex with him who he’s been attracted to such that it’s almost too bad that they have to pay. Never before has he ever even conceived of this combination: a person too pretty to ever need to barter for sex, and wanting it for free and knowing, probably, Harry’s read the diary, and maybe even if not has some clue why Louis wants to engage Harry in sex. Taudry sex in a men’s room. 

And it’s June 7th.


	29. Chapter 29

June 7th. 

Harry has read the diary. Page to page.

He knows what is the significance of today. He knows what happened last year on this date.

Louis is in front of him beginning to loose the flirtatious confidence he had. It’s clear. Harry realizes the waning of Louis’ brief, overt forwardness is because Harry, the prostitue, is still hanging back from the proposition. Has Louis ever had to ask for attention before? Harry doubts it. 

Harry runs through his mind the nature of their kiss. By his measure of accounting Louis had some seriously intense fire for it. Even as Harry walked Louis back into a wall it was Louis being assertive, passionate. Their kiss didn’t feel like Louis hadn’t been wanting to do it. It felt instead like maybe Louis had his own fantasy of it, a fantasy he held for some time.

This assesment must take longer than the split second Harry thinks it’s taking because suddenly Louis is frantic, moving hastily, closing up his shirt, turned away to redress. Painfully, Harry realizes, Louis is looking quiet distraught because of the hesitation.

Trying to recover Harry slides up behind Louis standing now facing the sink. Louis gets his shirt buttoned enough to look like one might imagine a shirt would be if one undid it just enough because as the false excuse that he was sick in the bathroom deemed appropriate. 

The braces are still dangling, Louis’ tie is still laying on the counter of the sink. The tuxedo jacket still laying over the toilet stall wall. Louis is looking more flushed.

Is it an embarrassed flushed? Is it anger? It certainly is improbable that Louis has the feeling that his proposition to Harry is accepted.

No. Louis is clearly hurt, maybe confused. Louis acts like he’s been rejected. 

Harry steps tight behind Louis putting arms around him making Louis stop all the hurry to dress. Pelvis pressing against Louis’ arse, Harry hopes Louis can feel the stiff member where Harry’s body meets Louis’. Harry’s arms make Louis’ captive. Lips go to ear, that curvature Harry was dreaming of not too long ago. Lightly tongue licks there just ever so slight before Harry puts teeth on the curvature just enough to warrant an unspoken “listen to me”.

Harry murmurs in a low growling tone. “Propositioned? Propositioned me, like you don’t realized being alone with you is my fantasy, don’t mistake what I’m saying. Let me make you feel like you deserve, sweet creature. You have to know it’s true, with me pressing against your sweet arse, m’already hard for you.” 

Harry begins kissing Louis’ head on the side where his lips are, heighten by the fragrance in Louis’ hair. Harry still has Louis caged in his arms. His lips run downward taking a path to leave their offerings along the place where jaw meets neck, then lips delicately travel neck heading for shoulders, for collarbones. Somewhere in all this Louis shirt came unbuttoned again...did Harry do that? 

Louis is pushing his bum back more into Harry’s pelvis. Harry loves the way Louis begins bending ever so slightly in response to how Harry has him trapped. How does Harry’s hands, free from unbuttoning, activity make it so one hand has a nipple between pinching fingers, Harry honestly doesn’t know, but he has it. He pinches. He twists it. Louis moans for him, pushes his bum to press harder into Harry.

Like that Harry has one hand holding the nip to do the teasing more while the other hand seems to find itself pushing gently on Louis’ back guiding Louis as they both shift so Louis is bent more forward, over the sink. Harry’s groin is still pushing against Louis’ bum though their shift allows for Louis bend..

Harry is suddenly bothered by the unbuttoned shirt. He needs it away. Keeping Louis prone he strips it off. 

That’s good because Louis is now half-naked. His skin gorgeous it’s so amber and pristine. There’s not a bruise or mark of any kind on him.

But there is this other clothing. It’s suddnely offnseive to Harry. Abandoning nip-play for a bit Harry unfastens and brings down Louis’ pants. By this time, seconds maybe that are suspended in some slow action animation by Harry’s perspective, Louis begins to speak. 

“Maybe you haven’t read the diary. Maybe you think my role with him is my twisted little kink. It’s not. I assure you. Maybe you don’t know how massively attractive I find you and without my, my...well maybe you could just fuck me anyway.”

Harry snaps. He pulls Louis up and around to face him so he can kiss Louis. It is the kind of kiss that has maybe a slight hint of anger but mostly passion. 

It’s okay if Louis thinks Harry hasn’t violated the privacy of the diary but how can Louis possibly think Harry would think so low of him as to believe what happens with Louis and “his Daddy” is a Daddy kink of Louis’ choosing?

Once Harry has kissed Louis so hard to convey his drive for leaving Louis breathless again, Harry spins Louis back around, chest down, bum out and puts himself on his knees.

Harry says, “I’ve been here before,” 

He parts Louis’ cheeks, “confronted with this beauty,”

He licks, kisses and nips, “wanting to make you pleased, wanting for cock,”

He laps over Louis’ entrance making it as wet as he can, “and don’t need from you any explaining.”

As Harry begins to really get into this roughly licking into, bringing Louis’ acceptance fast.

Louis moans. He pushes himself back onto Harry. Harry slicks Louis with some lube he has in a packet, because of course he was at this hotel with his essentials for the business, then nips a cheek ever so slightly making sure to not leave a mark. Who knows what night happen later tonight.

With Louis’ making his pleasure audibly apparent Harry makes his first finger insertion invasive. 

It has Louis coming to lift up a bit before returning to prone. All the while Louis makes comments under his breath that are becoming naughtier by the minute. 

“My god”, Harry thinks, “this might be too hot.” Harry’s challenged when one had makes a drop to his own pants to make a release for his own engorged penis.

Louis blunders when Harry makes a second finger push into him. “Might want to act like we don’t have all day.” Louis mumbles, speaking about the need for haste in disjoined words strung between heavy breaths. 

Harry makes sure that Louis knows this is not the right thing to say because his slaps one bum cheek with one hand while making his subsequent driving of two fingers perhaps a little forcibly into something still so small, so tight, but Louis acts like he likes it. He moans, presses on the fingers. 

Harry wonders, with Louis’ urgency for this if maybe Louis is a accustom to like things that, for most bottoms, might seem still too tight.

Harry might have had three fingers in for perhaps thirty seconds when Louis becomes very demanding.

“Make that tool of yours useful, again, we might not have all day.”

Louis might be right, the music tutor, Eleanor might send into the men’s room someone to check on Louis. Harry stands up, lines up, pushes himself in being none to gentle. As he quickly slides in a few inches Harry, the professional, becomes unhinged. He intended to stop there, ignore Louis’ attempts to rush, make this gentle and give Louis body time to adjust but instead Harry sort of loses it. Harry rams his cock deep in one swift penetration after he’s made an insertion past the tight rim. The compulsion surprises Harry about himself; it’s just that somehow Louis does this to him. Louis sort of coos like he’s glad for having this kind of fast and furious dicking so with that Harry begins setting his rhythm. Whenever he pulls mostly out, stopping to look at how perfect his length looks just the last few inches being encolosed by Louis tight walls, the way his bum, so round is sinfully pretty with perspiration rising being filled, Louis reacts in protest with little desperate noises. He wants Harry back to stuffing him deep. Harry tries to take it nice and tender in the force of his penetrations, enjoy seeing how nicely Louis body takes his, but Louis continues to encourage him for making this hard and quick. If Harry fucks punishingly hard Louis says “yes, yes, like that”. If Harry stops, like when he’s mostly exposed his considerable length, Louis makes an exasperated sound suggesting frustration. 

My god, Harry thinks, resisting falling into Louis’ bidding might be the most challenging sexual act in Harry’s professional experience. He wants this to take all day and maybe all night, because with his cock buried in Louis he feels like never before, it would be nice to do this slow. Harry, the sex on legs for hire, feels out of his element. It’s so intoxicating that he’s really not able to set the pace and stay focused. No, what he really feels, really, really wants is to simply take Louis away. Run away together. Never to be found, never to be seen, to be someplace alone together in secret. Somewhere completely safe. That way they can be slow with this. Afterwards they could sleep together for an entire night. Maybe stay in bed for a week. Only straying out of bed if the need for food to sustain the body demands.

“Such a fabulous arse, so full, sensational, hole so tight, hot, sweet creature.” Harry says. 

Louis hums a bit with the pace Harry has achieved. He also continues to want something more from Harry. Lifting himself on his toes now and then such that he’s making the angle shift the effect makes it harder and harder for Harry to not get swept away. 

Harry could come at any second when sudenly there’s a sound at the door to enter the men’s room. Someone is coming in. Harry pulls out. Louis seemed unaware of why, makes a protest, but Harry collects Louis in his arms, takes them to a stall. They are inside the closed space when some voices suggests it’s not one but two men that have entered. The men make use of urinals and keep engaged in their conversation clueless despite Louis’ tie and jacket in view. 

In the stall Harry is facing the toilet like one would do to urinate. Seeing his feet positioned as such it would surely appear. He’s set Louis facing him with Louis’ feet on the seat of the toilet which is sort of a challenge as Louis still has his pants around his ankles. They stay quiet. Louis is hanging on Harry’s torso because he’s keeping his legs bent for to be hidden. 

Harry’s arms are around Louis’ body with Harry’s forearms crossing over each other behind Louis in an “x” so Harry’s arms support Louis’ back allowing Harry’s hands to cup under Louis’ bum to support his weight. There stabilized, Louis entrance is proximal to Harry’s fingers so as they stay silent Harry slides a couple fingers into Louis, just to give Louis more torment. 

Seems their short time fucking has Louis more stretched but he still feels incredible, so tight, so hot. For sure he likes Harry’s fingers teasingly filling him in the wait, because Louis begins nibbling on Harry’s neck, sucking skin some making Harry want to whine. Was that intentional counter-torment? Harry wouldn’t be surprised. He’s aware how Louis like to mess men up; like Louis did to Aiden during intimacy, other players on the pitch. Seemingly Louis is taking Harry’s fingering as a challenge and he wants to play hard in turn. 

A minute later the two men are gone. Harry makes Louis reach for the top of the stall walls to hold on to while he proceeds to pull the silk blend dress pants of the tux over Louis dress shoes, he’s wearing without socks, leaving Louis with not a thread of clothing remaining other than ironically shoes. For a fleeting second or two Harry wishes the shoes were stilettos; his image, Louis’ legs and bum would be beautifully accentuated by the look of them. 

Letting that idea drift aside Harry moves to shift Louis’ body making it so he can slide his cock to the wet entrance, his knob making pentration more smoothly, allowing himself to resume fucking into Louis. 

My god how it also seems that Louis likes having his hands holding on top of the stall wall on either side giving him freedom to move. It’s immediately making Harry have to fight to decide how to dick Louis. Worse yet for Harry mastering Louis is how Louis makes use of his legs taking them to wrap around Harry’s hips to completely engage in riding Harry’s cock to his own liking. 

This has got to be the best fucking Harry has ever had. Louis toying with Harry, sometimes preventing him from driving deep by squeezing to stabilize keeping Harry at bay, other times pulling to bring Harry in,perhaps making Harry be caught buried deep. Louis is also making full use of his arm strength doing work so his pelvis can roll any degree as to tilt as he likes with Harry being not much more than a tool like Louis said earlier. Louis controls all this while he sometimes kisses Harry like, damn, the boy whose first everything are most likely with solely Aiden, has made a great kiss an art. And he bites. He licks, usually after he bites, but most importantly he seems to know his way around the art of dick riding. 

Harry. Harry the seasoned prostitute, 19, doing this since he was eleven, thousands of partners, is being properly out fucked by this... a mere seventeen year old, one-chosen partner man-child. Twink. A sheltered abuse victim. 

Building pleasure bubbles up so fast, so strong Harry barely has a chance to murmur his warning, wanting to spare Louis’ body a mess. Why didn’t he use a condom? Maybe it’s because he likes bareback but knows better sensation or not in his business he never does this, but what the fuck. He thinks he says that he’s going to come, maybe, but he does just allow himself to breed Louis with his determinedly forceful last series of fucks driving each as far as his impressive length allows. The orgasm begins to ebb just a little, Harry considering sliding out to finish Louis off with his mouth when Louis starts to shudder. 

“Har, Har, Har-rey, hold me.” Comes out shakily from Louis’ mouth as his whole body trembles. His hands leave the stall walls, holding instead tightly onto Harry. Quivering ripples though him as he ejaculates with his dick bewtten them. Harry gets a glimpse of why Hath persues Louis so. Louis’ body orgasming on Harry’s cock maybe the most distinctly magical sort of sensation Harry’s had in his eight years of constant sex. It drags from Harry a little, mini, second orgasm. 

It must be exhausting for Louis having been hanging there during sex. Louis stays latched onto Harry. When Harry must begin to extract them from the stall Louis whines. “Maybe we could stay there all day. I might not be ready for what comes later just yet.” 

Harry’s mind has cleared. Louis’ maybe not just yet, but it’s Harry who makes a blunder now. “Your dinner reservation is for only six hours later...” 

The statement makes Louis come out of post-organic bliss, into instananeous clarity. 

Harry hardly sets him down before Louis is suddenly devoid of all cuddliness. “What? How do you know that? Why do you know that? You can’t, you mean to tell me he’s already invited you to be with us tonight?” 

There fear in Louis voice. Harry shakes his head wanting to explain, Liam tipped him. Harry doesn’t know about the reservation because of Hath, but Louis continues with his voice strained, his panic obvious. “You can’t be part of it, invited or not, you can’t. I won’t let you, even if he wants that, it’s not safe...” 

Louis is standing there in nothing but shoes. His hands go to Harry’s face, fingers tracing dimples, sweeping across lips, they give away his fright because they tremble ever so slight. “...it’s not safe Harry. He will kill you.” 

How can Harry explain this? No, fuck that, how can he aboandon Louis to this? He can’t. 

“Louis I wasn’t invited by Hath. After the last time I saw you made sure Liam would tell me the next time Hath makes any reservations. I’ve needed to see you, to make sure your okay. And I’m sorry I’m just not that strong. I did read the diary. All of it. Every last word. I know everything. I know about when the neighbor boy forced himself on you, the psychologist doing that too, the difference between your mum and Hathaway’s philosophies about having a son whose gay. I know how he thinks he’s can fuck gay out of you. How when he started doing that he finds he likes it, a lot. How he blames you for making that desire in him. He has hurt you for years starting when you weren’t even mature enough to be touched. I know how Aiden looked after you. Made efforts to get things better. You got older, Aiden stayed true to your needs even when you pushed him before he thought you were ready. I know how when you became mature enough to orgasm there was a sweeter time, sweeter for lack of a better words, because Hath got really drawn into sex with you more intensely. He was kinder to you because he likes doing it with you so much, but there’s always a risk of this new problem; he wants the way you make him feel when you come if he’s in you. You can’t control the risk you’ll not come, or try too hard to think of Aiden and you let it slip. Like when I was with you. He gets violent when you don’t come on Daddy’s dick. He get nicer when you do. He’s most violent if you maybe slip and say ‘Aiden’. In the last two years that’s big the problem. You really love Aiden so much, you can’t continue do it for Hath. Louis I know how bad it is if he beats you now. He’s nearly killed you at least once. I know what today is. I’m not letting you be alone. He taking you out tonight to celebrate his anniversary with your mum, how much more than completely sick is that? It’s beyond the pale. I won’t be letting you be alone. It won’t happen again. Do you think...let me ask it this way. Louis, do you think that Aiden would have let a prostitute who obviously has a thing for you, come into your circle, like he did if Aiden didn’t have a premonition that something could go wrong? Why would he do that? You haven’t seen it, that he was maybe worried what happens to you if something happens to him? Louis, Aiden knew I was into you. And still he lets me be part of your circle of friends? Why? Don’t you think he was dreading June 7, today?” 

Before Harry can get his arms around Louis, Louis begins to tear. Harry can’t tell because Louis’ eyes begin to change color, the investable sign of the effects of crying. It breaks Harry’s heart. This feisty little thing he was just batttling for control with during sex becomes a distraught mess without a spilt second passing.

Harry tries to take Louis in his arms but Louis begins pulling on his pants, his shirt, while pushing Harry’s hands away. 

He rants about Harry’s attempts to comfort. “Stop it Harry, don’t touch me, don’t! I don’t want you, you can’t see me there tonight, you can’t, get way from me,” 

It would be hurtful except Harry knows Louis doesn’t mean he doesn’t want Harry. He means he doesn’t want Harry at risk. Before Harry can call Louis on that and assure him, Louis continues, “he will kill you Harry. You can’t see me, not tonight not ever! This was a mistake. Get away from me!” 

This is when a man comes into the men’s room. Hearing Louis say “get away from me” the man steps in. 

“Hey, what’s going on here?” The man intervenes. He gets between Louis and Harry. He turns to Louis and speaks softly to him. “Are you okay son?” 

Louis looks at Harry with a searing glare like Harry is some low-life whore. “Yes.” Louis says. “I will be if he leaves me alone.” 

Like that Louis grabs his jacket and tie leaving Harry, impeded by this man, probably leaving the men’s room looking as awful to Eleanor as he should if he was in the men’s room because he was sick. 

Harry tries to pursue, the man grabs his arm. “Boy, you leave him be. He’s a pretty thing, I know. Mighty tempting by the way he looks, so sweet the way his playing is, everything about him so delicate, but he’s not for you. Leave him be like he asked.” 

Harry can only put his hands up in a gesture like he’s yielding. The man doesn’t trust him clearly because when Harry leaves the men’s room the man accompanies him without using the facilities. Out in the main lobby Harry sees Eleanor take Louis’ hand, the other carrying her violin case. She looks concerned. She believes he was ill. They go out the front doors together as Eleanor looks to be doting on him. 

As Louis steps out the door he glances back. He looks directly at Harry’s eyes. His expression says it all. Stay away. 

*** 

Harry gets home feeling like a whore on a new level of worthlessness. The way Louis reacted made him feel unlike he has for years. He knows Louis is afraid for him. Hath is unpredictable. Harry could be in serious danger. It still hurts. But he can’t stay away. 

He also can’t call Ben. He should. He doesn’t. But Harry is not stupid. He calls Caesar instead. 

Caesar, whose real, name is Stanley, likes being Caesar. He’s got the look, very handsome in that Roman sort of way. Tall, built, all masculine. He’s actually the hired muscle Ben uses sometimes. He also cleans up nice. He’s old enough to be a person of means who would hire an escort. He’s also very handy in these kind of situations. 

Harry explains to Caesar only what he needs to about things. No big long story. Nothing too compromising. He asks Cesar to strictly avoid letting Ben know about the date. Harry hopes that should Ben need to be involved Caesar can make this happen but not until Harry thinks it’s at the point they need to include Ben. All Harry wants is to see Louis. Keep him safe. He’ll risk anything. Damn Louis’ request. 


	30. Chapter 30

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is very dark. Added tag. Double pentration by that warning it’s meant the act is not with Harry so, that. Also comment please. I know it’s seems stupid how far the monster is getting. Just a fiction. Shameful fiction.

Harry and Caesar arrive to Payne’s for a reservation that is 30 minutes after the Tomlinson’s. As they are lead to their table, right next to Hathaway and Louis’. Harry follows the maitre’d close enough to come suddenly into view, which he knows Louis catches sight of, despite the way Louis pretends to notice nothing. Louis simply sits across from his monster step father listening to Hath talking about himself as he’s drinking wine. They have appetizers on their table. Louis appears to be barely touching anything. 

Louis might be ever so subtly acknowledging Harry as he and Caesar as they are seated, but Harry can feel his turmoil pretending to not care.

Once Harry and Caesar sit Harry takes stock. 

Obviously Louis showered once he got home. He would have needed to. His hair is now styled in a messy, fringy, casual look. His suit is cut like it was custom designed for Louis’ body type. The jacket is shorter than most men’s wear. It has a flare off the waist that can only work if you have Louis’ curves. The look is complemented with a shirt that has an unusual cut for wearing with a suit. Basically Louis’ look implies a lot.

Harry’s glad of his own choice to wear a sheer floral shirt under his jacket. He knows the need for having it mostly undone is senseless, but given how he and Louis parted today Harry likes the idea of reaching into his shirt to play with his three necklaces in hopes it reminds Louis of the nip-play that made Louis moan. He knows Louis will be watching him with peripheral vision. Harry plays this.

After several minutes, appetizers ordered, drinks delivered to Harry and Caesar, Hathaway notices that Harry is sat at the table closest to them. Hath was lively with talking to Louis when he first sawHarry. Hath does a double take, then boldly stares at Harry until Caesar stops mid-sentence to ask Hath, is there a problem? 

Hath looks at Caesar with consternation, answers “No, no problem.”

After that through Hath keeps checking on Harry’s table in abbreviated glances. Cesar cast a glance now and then at Hath as if to say ‘step back arse’, meanwhile Louis never looks at the table where Harry sits. Instead Louis remains almost like a marionette. Each move artificial in its guard of emotion. The better Louis is at ignoring things like the way Harry overtly flirts with Caesar the more it digs into Harry’s core. 

Harry’s psyche is ripped completely when Louis reaches over to pat the top of Hathaway’s hand as if to say IGNORE them as he says to Hath loud enough to make sure Harry can hear, “They really do let any filth in here, don’t they father?” 

Hathaway nods his approval. Gives his son a proud smile. 

If Harry hadn’t read the diary he would throw out all signs that Louis is in a sick, twisted place. Harry would absolutely hate Louis. 

That Louis is clearly forcing a narrative to suggest to Hath that Louis thinks the least of Harry, is well, brilliant, yet it’s engaging Harry’s determination to rescue Louis all the more. Afterall it’s fucking June 7th! It's literally going to take the tiniest of a slip on Louis’ part and Hath will be on him. Why is Louis doing this alone?

***

Hath and Louis have finished desert. The check is on its way to their table. Harry is uncomfortable about what to do when the bill is left to Hath but then Hath signs for the bill, excuses himself to go to the men’s room. Harry almost turns to tell Louis to run away with him right then until Harry sees how Louis is unrelentingly closed off. It hurts Harry. Harry rises, he sort of leans over Louis as he cuts close by the Tomlinson table because he’s a little angry at Louis for being so fucking independent, perfecting falsities better than him, but he does something he regrets as soon as it leaves his mouth. 

Harry growls, “Going to see if I can get a gig with Daddy for later”.

Louis snaps, finally looking at Harry. Cerulean set on Harry’s green with such fear in his eyes it should be enough for Harry to indeed grab this boy, pull Louis into him and literally run away. Instead Louis begs, “No! No, Harry, no! Please!”

The please was more like a “pleeeazzze”. It was desperate, sincere, full of fear. In that one word it said he cares. Like a lot. Like Harry is everything he cares about not what might happen to himself. 

But Harry smirks, he brushes Louis off. Harry’s actually a little too hurt himself by the way Louis is resolved to do this night alone. Stubbornly, Harry gives no ground. He goes to the men’s room. Leaving Louis to wonder, obviously completely distraught alone at the table.

 

*** 

Hath is washing his hands when Harry enters the men’s room. Harry nods at the attendant, Harry goes straight to the sink. He only stands there and adjusts his look, using the mirror, preening in a slightly obvious way to bait Hath.

“I see you’re working tonight.” Hath says. He’s intending look like he doesn’t care but failing a little with it. Harry knows he’d rather not be looking at Harry’s eyes which meet his using the reflection of the mirror. He’d rather let his eyes look at Harry’s body, the shirt making it tempting.

“Oh him, yes but I could easy put him on hold.” Harry says.

Hath snorts. “Jumping to conclusions aren’t we?”

“Well, it’s just that you seem to be a man that likes guarantees. We know what my mouth guarantees from Louis, don’t we.”

Hath turns and sizes Harry up. Then he scoffs. “This is a special occasion. I think we’ll keep it among family. Besides you seem to be getting too eager. Like eating that boy’s ass more than most, I’m betting.”

Hath walks out leaving Harry. Harry is in disbelief. Harry follows. As soon as he’s in view of their table, following not far behind Hath he sees what Hath must see too which has them both speeding their pace through the restaurant.

Maybe Harry should have been more specific about Louis with preparing Caesar for this rouse. 

There at Louis’ side, his chair moved so he’s sat close next to Louis’, showing Louis something on his phone, is Caesar. Louis looks amused at what is on the phone. For the first time since Harry arrived to Payne’s Louis is animated, the bright-eyed, lively person he should be, not some marionette on strings. The thing is that Caesar is also sitting so his arm is on the back of Louis’ chair. While he’s not touching Louis, indeed Louis seems unaware of the arm, it looks very cozy. Caesar is too close. Innocent or not, Harry knows Hath won’t see it in a good way. 

Hath reaches the table and practically pushes Caesar chair and all over to extract Louis who he grabs by the arm like Hath did that time at Paul Anderson’s reception. instantaneous, Louis is frightened. He didn’t see Hath coming. The grip is clearly harsh, exaggeratedly rough. Caesar barely has his feet under him as his chair is in a bad place. He doesn’t see reason for the rudeness.

“Excuse me would be nice, perhaps, I was just showing a meme, dogs playing with soccer balls, he said he likes football, dogs...”

Hath has jerked Louis to his feet, away from the table. His face is red and he spits as he cuts off Caesar. “Should think your date would be slut enough for one man in one night!”

Hath turns, bumps hard into Harry as he drags Louis along by the arm, Louis winching like he’d done in the Anderson reception when Hath took him away forcefully like this. 

Harry has a moment hesitation before he addresses a confused Caesar. 

“I said not to engage them unless I told you to! Fuck!” Harry’s words have everyone on this side of Payne’s staring. They we’re already watching the bizarre exit of two patrons, but now it’s got all eyes on Harry and Caesar. A couple waiters are coming their way probably to ask Harry to refrain from his obscene use of language. 

Harry raises a hand to signal to the waiters he’s got it, no need to tell him, to keep it chill. He pushes Caesar’s chair toward their table, lowers his voice. “Caesar, seriously? Memes? We were gone for a minute, a minute. Okay, so, give me your keys.”

Caesar is confused. “What?”

“Your car keys, give them to me quick, call a cab, get the tab paid and call me once your in the cab, you can catch up.”

Caesar is handing over his keys, nodding, possibly realizing he’s made a mistake that maybe he’ll understand later as it seems Harry is going to follow the subject of interest..

Harry is just out of the restaurant when he catches sight of the Bentley’s tail lights taking a turn off the road that Payne’s is on. He rushes to get Caesar’s car. Once he’s driving he turns where the Bentley did, speeds up to try to get a look ahead through traffic.

The slope of a hill the road takes allows him to see ahead at one point and he spots the Bentley. It turns, Harry thinks it taken a right some ten street crossings ahead. He’s not sure, he tries to weave through traffic taking several risks to speed up and close the gap. When Harry gets to the road he thinks the Bentley took, he’s confused. The direction is going to s seedier part of town. This is section of the city is familiar to Harry. When he was first on the streets this is where he ended up. It’s where there are more street people and those down on their luck that other parts of the city. It’s not a place to cruise around in your Bentley. Most murders an violent crimes happen here. It’s almost a no man’s land in London.Harry’s got a sick feeling. He hasn’t been here since he was a struggling street orphan, he’s swore he’d never be back here or any place like it.

He goes past several cross streets before he tries to begin a patterned search. There’s no missing that car. Even in the distance, the dark like it is now, many street lights out, the Bentley is distinctive. He gets a call from Caesar. Harry pulls over and answers. He tells Caesar the neighborhood he’s in. That he’s looking for their car, a Bentley. Caesar directs his cab to head that way. Harry can’t give his a specific location because he’s still searching.

When they conclude their call Harry sees the Bentley off ahead as it makes a crossing of a street in view. Harry drives off in pursuit.

Harry’s making progress to catch up when the car in front of him makes a turn crossing in front of an oncoming car. They don’t collide, unfortunately the car not in Harry’s lane makes it into a street light post instead, takes the post out knocking into lanes of traffic such that all cars, all lanes, both crossroads have to stop. 

Harry’s quick to jump from his car, verify no one is hurt. It’s clear the car hitting the post was barely working so one more dent in it is not an issue. Basically, as Harry knows from when he was living in this part of London when he was eleven, very little is working, unless it’s a prostitute, or a drug dealer. This applies to vehicles too. Harry is quick to suggest with many drivers out of their cars, traffic stalled by the post obstruction, that they work together to try to move it allowing at least one lane to clear. As they do this Harry is encouraged to see that the Bentley has pulled over up ahead. It’s two blocks away. While Harry is combining effort with several other men, ignoring the two women prostitutes who’ve come over to him, specifically because he’s not dressed like one of there’s, they thinks he’s a legit, proper success, ironically, unaware he’d started selling himself not more than a block from here. Harry ignores all of that, everything around them other than trying to clear his route while he watches the car. 

The Bentley is pulled over along side the side walk. Harry can see it well despite being busy with lifting a long thin narrow light post, doing this task with people who work together as well as if they were assigned to herding cats. There is a man leaning against the Hath’s car, like the man is conversing with Hath. Is Hath lost? Did he actually take a wrong turn and has been driving around sort of lost finally stopping, maybe asking for directions? Why not use his car’s gps, or his phone’s? 

Harry hopes Hath isn’t looking for something else. Once the light post is moved. He’s glad like everything here in this part of town, that was so badly made as to be light, just awkwardto manage. Still the Bentley remains stationary on the side of the street Hath is seemingly having a long chat with a local. Harry can see nothing detailed about the man beside the car other than he’s not small. He’s wearing a hoodie with the hood up. 

Harry doesn’t hestate once they’ve gotten a lane clear. He runs to his car, gets around the bottleneck, accelerates toward the Bentley. 

At this time the man on the sidewalk gets into the Bentley. It pulls away. Harry in pursuit following the Bentley the rout Hath takes makes a few more turns. Harry’s is approaching them enough to slow down to actually stay less obvious when the Bentley turns once again, coming to a stop. Engine off. It’s parked in some dark alley. 

Harry’s not sure with th last few turns they made what precise street they are on, but he gives Caesar a call to say he’s a couple blocks off of the last intersection he was sure of. Tossing his phone carelessly onto the seat bedside the driver’s Harry gets out of the car giving Caesar no time for finishing issuing caution or any questions. 

Louis has just been pulled from the back seat of the car. 

Harry’s heart is racing. Hath has drug Louis from the back seat. The man in the hoodie has gotten out of the car too. Hath is having some trouble with Louis who is fighting him. That is until Hath hits Louis so hard that when Louis is struck the force makes him spin a semicircle with the momnentum as he takes a second hit falling against the car, face first, before falling to the ground next to car. 

The hoodie man comes around the back of the car looking down at the fallen Louis, Hath is growling something at crumbled Louis when Harry appears there to the surprise of Hathaway. 

“What the fuck!” Harry exclaims not sure what else he should say. 

To his surprise his voice has Louis moving. Kind of shakily, but pushing himself off the ground Louis looks up. 

Harry’s heart falls. 

Louis has a nasty bruise from where he was struck by Hath. His flawless, perfect cheekbone there is red. On the other side of his face, likely where it hit the edge of the trim at the window of the car, is a bruise and a cut, it’s bleeding. 

“No, you can’t be here, I don’t want you...” Louis’s words kind of crumble. Was he going to say “I don’t want you here”? Or was he going to say “I don’t want you killed”? Harry can’t tell because Harry is gabbed by Hath and the hoodie man whose has got a grip like an iron vice. 

Harry gets shoved in the trunk. It happens so fast he barely hears the pleas from Louis over the struggle to resist the two men but Louis is pleading for Hath to let Harry go. 

Harry’s barely gotten over the sticky wicket he’s in, being put in a trunk, before the men have got Louis up by the sounds of his struggle, he is pleading on and on for Hath to let Harry go, repeating that Harry doesn’t mean anything, the man (Caesar) in the restaurant doesn’t mean anything. 

What follows is the sound of fabric ripping, is the sound of Louis being pinned on top of the hatch of the trunk. But the conversation about getting his pants down it’s clear the fabric ripping was his clothing on his upper body. Now his pinned so close to Harry and impossibly out of reach. Harry can’t beleive this. He can’t be more distraught and helpless. He would hit the interior of the trunk, struggle to make noises of alarm but it’s only going to impact Louis. Furthermore, in this part of town a grown man could be spotted shoving his dick down the throat of a child of just eleven in plain view, broad daylight, and no one would care. Harry knows. He was that child. 

Harry can only hope Caesar gets here quick. Cabbies don’t like coming to this part of the city. No one of respect does. 

Harry gets the idea of each action outside the trunk as if unfolds. 

“Get this on, don’t want any diseases.” Hath says. Harry assumes there’s a condom. It’s confirmed. 

“I didn’t say I’d wear a stinking glove.” 

“You’ll wear it. You’re going to like this a lot. See this, see how round and full his bum is, see this, this, it’s a pretty tight little thing. Going to make you feel like one hell of a man being in there. Going to make you see God. Get this on, wet him with some of that. Unless your like that gay whore in the trunk and would rather bury your face between these beautiful cheeks.” 

Louis pleads change. “Please father, please. I was being good. Please. He only was showing me pictures of dogs. He wasn’t touching me or flirting with me, please.” 

Harry hears what might be someone slapping Louis with a pretty slick hand because it has that type of sound. 

“Son, because he was with a whore, he clearly didn’t have altruistic intentions about you. Stop being so naive. He had his arm around you. After his first course with the whore he’d probably be glad to have desert on you, eating out your arse, fucking you with that slut doing his thing to your pretty little prick. You want a hulking man like that in your pussyboy hole, I’ve brought you one. See how you like it when this should be our night tonight of all nights!” 

Louis pleads. “No, please. I promise I’ll come for you, for Daddy. Please don’t do this, send him away, let the whore go, please.” 

The hoodie man interjects. “So what about me? Seems I was promised. I am going to get mine.” 

Louis seems to be struggling on the exterior hatch of the trunk as he negotiates. “Please, Daddy let me suck him off, then make him go. Open the trunk, let him go. At home, once we are home, alone, I promise, I’ll do it just right. Please.” 

Harry hears a strike. It’s sounds horribly hard. Louis goes quiet after a noise like the hit was debilitating. 

“See there you go again. Such a cock slut you’ll suck any dick. Should you offer to suck cock? No. Save the whore? You should worry more about how to save yourself.” 

Hath directs the hoodie man. “Get that dick of yours in him. I was sure you have something bigger than that based on your size but get to it. Don’t wait or be nice about it. Just fuck him right hard. I’ll keep him still, should you want to use your hands to separate his perfect arse, so to enjoy seeing his hole take you. Wish you had more than a paltry six inches though. Might not be enough dick to fuck him good, hard and right before his Daddy.” 

The man might have been offended by the disrespect of his size but he clearly was rendered quickly unaffected. 

“Oh, my fucking god, my god what a tight, tight ass. So...” the man’s stops because his sounds are no longer like words. Seems the penetration has begun. More and more he sounds to be giving it, as Hath directed “good, hard and right”. 

Harry know from the heavy breathing, guttural sounds the man is feeling lost as he’s raping Louis all the while Hath seems to be helping pin Louis on the back of the car, adding to the pain. He tells Louis, like he’s always done, that Louis makes this happen. He brands Louis every name for being obsessed with gay sex. He probably has Louis in pain from some other manipulation in addiction to the rape because Louis barely makes a whimper. 

The man says something about “making Louis’ legs wider”, he’s pausing because he’s getting close. Needs a new angle. 

“Move your hands. Let me hook my arms under his legs make his spread wider. Want to be buried with nothing in my way before I come, damn this fucking glove, be so good to breed his perfect hole. Breed him deep, buried deep.” 

Hath being the slime he is has to take pride in Louis’ body. “Buddy your cock isn’t big enough to bury deep in his hole. He’s been taking Daddy’s cock for years. Big, fat, long, daddy cock. He’s rightly perfect at it. Go ahead though, you try to get yourself in so you like. Finish in him and if you got anything left we might take this in a way you’ll really like.” 

Harry hears the shift. The man likely has Louis lifted arms hooked by elbows letting him spread Louis like he’s in the splits. Even a smaller length of dick would get a crazy pleasing feeling like he’s got Louis impaled deep. Harry had it like that over the years more times than he can count. What Harry would like now is if fuckeing Caesar had gotten here way before this point, before anyone touched Louis. 

When the man comes he screams and moans. He makes it known he’d like to be continuing to fuck Louis, all night he quips. 

Harry has numbness from being confined that ache now but it’s nothing compared to the aching pain feels experiencing Louis’ suffering like this. Louis has to hold on. Harry so filled with fright for Louis he’s not really thinking how this will end for himself tonight. 

*** 

Harry not sure where Louis is laying after hoodie man leaves him. Hath continues to chid Louis like Louis has some awareness. This verbal abuse suggests that Louis is at least partly conscious despite the rape and the beating, but Louis isn’t giving any indications. Without seeing Louis, Harry can only guess that Louis is too practiced at this. He’s staying submissive. It’s past the time of a fight. Begging is nothing to Hath, to this other man. 

Hath, it sounds like, eventually decides to newly position Louis back on the hatch. He says to his cohort rapist, “Get standing here. Right beside his face. Stick that pencil-dick of yours in his mouth. He’ll suck you back to life. Guarantee it. Then get another condom on.” 

So Louis must be laid out now on the hatch so a man standing beside him can be sucked off. 

Where is Caesar? Harry wants to start pounding in protest but his limbs are numb. 

It seems like Hoodie-man is receiving some good head because he says the type of things Harry’s hears so often. About how good it feels. How Louis looks so pretty doing that. The usual smarmy stuff when a sub is being forced. Meanwhile Hath signals his intentions. 

“Sweet hole of yours should be still so tight, hun, since our friend here isn’t so big as your Daddy. What do you say we get him in there again soften you up more since you like being a whore to so many. Somehow Daddy’s not enough, want the man from diner tonight, that whore Styles, want two at once tonight?” 

“What?” Hoodie-man seems slow to catch on. “Two at once? You mean us? Both of us? He seems sort of small don’t you think?” 

“Didn’t invite you for doing thinking did I? Believe I know what my slut of a gay-arse son likes, what he can take. Stop dicking his mouth. It seems easy your stick is hard enough to slide a new condom on it.” 

It sounds like as the man puts on anouther condom, Hath moves Louis again. Hath orders. “Sit back again the boot of the car. I’m going to set him on your lap facing you, lube him. You get your dick in his hole first, see to it you have him tight up against you to control him so I can get my dick in. Need my hands to double stuff him even with your dick no bigger than a pencil. He’s going struggle at first to take both of us. Should give you a great buzz though, isn’t that right sweet pussyboy. Daddy’s boy loves getting his hole filled with the big ones.” 

Hoodie-man gets very animated in saying what he feels is so good when he must have again penetrated Louis, still solo. He seems happy to say this, soon after saying he’s ready. Is Hath sure about this? Louis seems still to be so tight he says. Harry’s trying to conceive how Louis would ever manage this if they hadn’t been together hours before. Would that be enough though? 

“Let’s take away this top layer of clothing too, boys look so good being on dick when we can see all of them, such a perfect Twink.” 

Hath’s statement proceeds Hoodie-man gaining perspective. “Perfect Twink alright, damn he’s a pretty little thing, best fuck of my entire life. Should you need a third again I’m so right with this. Gay stuff or not. He’s gorgeous...” 

The man shuts up, a reaction to Hath who must be putting his cock into Louis too since the timing of Hath saying to him “shut up” comes slightly behind Hoodie-man sounding lost in pleasure cause he sort of moans and gasps. Louis is silent. Hath is saying something to Louis after he begins pentration because it’s hard to hear, seemingly like he might be talking while nuzzling on Louis’ skin like the words are just for Louis. Whatever he’s saying it can’t be nice so Harry’s anguish grows even more.

Hoodie-man sort of brokenly gives out descriptors of the intensity, of how awesome way this feels for him, he says something about how the big dick driving the penetrations is insanely arousing being tightened by Louis’ hole, how it’s sort of crazy good sharing the twink, something about how he would want to share the twink again. 

“Anytime” Hoodie-man says, “he is all in”. 

This gets another stern “shut up” remark from Hath as both men try to spill their thoughts between their moans, grunts, calls to god, swearing at or name-calling directed at Louis with the occasional comment thrown in about how beautiful or gorgeous Louis is, how Louis is so good at taking their dicks.

Harry’s certain when finally one of them says he’s coming that it’s Hath though it’s that announcement strained by the overriding orgasm. It sounds like Hath chooses to fill Louis while he and the other man are still deeply buried in Louis. This does something that Hoodie-man likes. Does Hath step away when he’s done? It sounds like that as Harry hears Hoodie-man shift, shift although he must be holding onto Louis, moving. 

“He’s so light this twink sure can take dick, so light, gonna cum again, cause this fucking cock sucking princess is so good,” he says with his own destructed, drawn out speech challenged by orgasm building, “wanna shoot my load on his twinky chest,” the man stops talking, a noise suggests that he’s making use of the hatch of the car to to put Louis on as the man must be stripping off his condom to make good on his desire to ejaculate on Louis. “My come never looked so good, so good as it does on such a pretty twink, gotta do this on a regular basis...” 

“Don’t get your hopes up.” Hath says again sounding annoyed with the third partner. “And if you’re done get that nasty spunk of yours off him.” 

“With what? Didn’t leave the flat with a baggies of wipes, besides he’s got your spunk dripping from his hole.” 

“Do I care if you have to use your precious clothes, just get your mess cleaned up.” 

Harry hears sounds like Louis is getting placed in the back seat after the back door of the Bentley opens. It’s a second before he hears confirmation, Hoodie-man like he said, laid Louis in the seat and hasn’t left him. Sounds like he’s, to Harry’s dismay, licking Louis clean, some “mum” noises make a picture Harry would rather suppress. Hoodie-man is making a meal of his liking with the business of making Louis less coated in come. 

“Might be I never knew I tasted so good, maybe, or maybe this twink has skin as sweet, sweet as his hole, so good.” Hoodie-man punctuates the sentence with some more noises, some like sucking which seems to have no effect on Louis for sure it goes over some line with Hath. He slaps the top of the car over the back seat. 

“I said, get your spunk off him, not to suck his nips, I don’t want a trace of you lingering on him anywhere.” 

“Sure, I get it. But you’re going to come calling again I gather, next time your pretty piece of arse gets too troublesome, or what was it you said when you approached me for help, he needs punishing, be nice if we come to a long term arrangement Tomlinson.” 

Harry’s surprised that Hath introduced himself to some random he picked up on the street, obviously from an undesirable part of town as a throw away one time deal. 

“I never said my name is Tomlinson. Never said my name, his. Not once.” 

“Should know I might have cased the car when you told me to get in. Might have seen the paper on the center council with the name. Hathaway Tomlinson. Kinda sounds like the name of a person who wears designer suits and drives a Bentley. Bet this thing you do is some dirty little secret. Your son? He doesn’t look like you, but that doesn’t matter. Bet he’s got stories about how his Daddy uses him. Bet you’re going to be looking for another partner another night to make his, you say his punishment, just right. I’m in. That’s all I’m saying. I’m not saying a word to anyone as long as I get to do this again.” 

Harry’s thinking this guy, pencil dick, while obviously not endowed, he has balls, figuratively. Before anything else is said there’s a loud crack. 

Harry is certain as the local city sounds of traffic, sirens, dogs barking in the distance continue but conversation stops between them because it was the sound of a gun firing, a body falling. Harry’s got no reason to feel anything but hatered for the man, but still. A bad situation for Harry’s prospects has gotten worse. What of Louis? Is he even marginally conscious? When Harry’s mind goes to ask what’s taking Caesar so long it tales a split second for Harry to realize he’s thinking about Caesar as Caesar’s voice he hears. 

“Hey! You there!” It sounds like Caesar saying this as he is running. More dread occurs to Harry. Not until it is too late. 

The gun fires again.


	31. Chapter 31

Harry hears Hathaway enter the car, he starts the engine, drives off. Maybe he’s on his phone, but Harry can’t hear well now that the sounds are muted by the engine. He’s got a feeling of being ill; he’s responsible for Caesar’s death. Like a dumb arse he left his phone on the seat of Caesar’s car. Would Caesar’s car still be there? Harry didn’t take the keys as he just ran to Louis’ defense. Would the bodies be discovered soon? Would Ben be notified? Why would he though because Caesar has many people he does his work for. Caesar followed Harry’s request to avoid alerting Ben so far as Harry knows. So assuming Hath is driving to a part of the Thames where he can murder and dump Harry, how long before Ben sees a death report on Caesar, or a missing person report on Harry? When they stop will he [Harry] even be able to move to try to fight should Hath elect to get him out before he dies in the trunk? Or does he intend to leave Harry in there for days you? 

So many questions. Also so much pain from the tragic events, from being so confined.

Harry decides that it’s Hathaway's estate they enter when he hears an electronic gate. He hears the engine of the auto take on a different sound as he assumes indicates that Hath has pulled the Bentley into a garage space. Wise. Less likely for someone on staff to see him removing anyone from the car. He must be planning some way of delaying Howard coming upon Harry in the trunk. At least he’s not murdering Harry immediately and dumping him in the Thames. 

What can Harry possibly do? 

He hears Hath get out, the back door open, Hath takes Louis.

Being abandoned Harry is certain his death is being well planned. 

***

It’s got to be the brightest light he’s ever experienced, or so is the illusion when the hatch of the Bentley pops open waking Harry from pain-induced slumber. Harry’s eyes adjust as he’s about to scream for his life when he sees a figure come into view. It’s Howard.

Howard reaches in to help Harry exit the trunk. Actually, Howard has to do it all the work of extracting Harry because nothing of Harry’s, not his arms, legs, anything work yet. In a second or two the pain and tingling begin to mix. It’s a terrible sensation. It’s a relief, though. He’s alive. Harry breaks down. He’s made a terrible mistake, many of them.

“He’s killed people, he’s killed two men. Last night, or yesterday, what day is it? When he took Louis out the night of the seventh he stopped in a bad part of town after they had dinner at Payne’s. I was at the restaurant. I thought I could get into things with Hath and make it safe for Louis. It went horribly wrong. Hath picked up a man after leaving Payne’s, he was very mad, they drove to an alley where he, and this street trash, raped Louis. He shot the man afterwards, then he shot another man, my accomplice, Caesar Brinkley, who was coming to my aid to help stop the assault on Louis. Hath shot them both Howard, and in Caesar’s case, it is all completely my fault! I stupidly followed, I didn’t call anyone else for help, I thought I could protect Louis, but all I did was get a good man killed!”

Howard still has a hold on Harry. He’s trying to give Harry some assist in circulation restoring and offer support with soothing rubs. He takes in the earful of information with a pale look, distressed, but comforting Harry. When Harry can take a seat on a mechanics stool beside the wall of auto tools and auto cleaning sundries Howard responds. 

“I wasn’t supposed to be here today but when he dismissed me late yesterday, giving me today off, it’s June 8, by the way, the events you talk of happened only last night, but when he gave me some time off today it didn’t seem right. I know what June 7 is, how he becomes. He said he wanted to have the car himself to take in for service, he would do it he said, which was the thing that isn’t right. I always take the cars for service if I can’t service them myself here. I know for a fact this car had service two months ago. It’s the car I drive most often, almost exclusively. It hasn’t got a service problem.”

Where Harry is sort of sitting, leaning off to the side correcting a bit gives indication his limbs are cooperating. Howard moves off to get some water for Harry.

Harry thanks him for the water, drinks an entire bottle, accepts another which he drinks half of before continuing. 

“Somewhere in an alley are two dead men. In the house Louis is not much better, perhaps. I heard all of what they did to him with him used right on the hatch of the car with Louis directly over me. Where is Hath now? We have to get Louis help.” 

“The schedule I have for him says he’s flying out of London later today. He’s not here now because not all the cars are here. The roadster was parked beside the servant’s entrance of the house and it’s gone.”

“He must have gone to get something for making me disappear, maybe. Or maybe he’s making sure his trail of bodies is cleaned up.”

“Hardly think that he needs to cleanup his own messes. He’s got people who do that sort of thing. How about we get you out of here to safety, then we get the proper people involved. If there is still evidence to be discovered, we need that acted upon immediately. Tell me the location where this happened and I’ll call in an anyomous report.”

“My phone, my phone and Caesar’s car are there, near there. If not stolen yet. I left the car, keys in it, because I just ran into the alley when I saw them pull Louis out from the back seat. Hath hit Louis so hard the first time that it made Louis slam up against the car too. He only became slightly able to shake off the effects of the two blows because he was trying to plead for me, my safety, promising to make good for his monster father back here.” 

After sharing this account Harry gives Howard the approximate address. He quickly says he’s got to call Ben too. He explains to Howard how he got Caesar involved. They are in conversation about this when the arrival of an unfamiliar car at the Tomlinson home puts them on alert. 

Howard takes Harry exiting the garage through a side door, go around the outside of the garage staying out of sight as this person whose driven up, parks, comes to garage, not bothering to go to the house. 

Harry whispers as they watch the man enter the garage like he knows what he’s doing, “Who is that?”

Howard whispers back though certainly neither of them can be heard from where they observe the stranger. “No clue. But he’s acting like he has purpose.”

Sure enough the man goes to the Bentley after getting Howard’s key for the car off the key rack. He’s taking the car so it becomes clearly Harry and Howard. He’s got a directive from Hath. Go to the Bentley. Take the car, Harry. Getting rid of Harry is a hired job apparently.

“Son, this is too dangerous. We have to get you to safety. Now.” Howard says once the stranger drives away with the Bentley. 

“Okay, yes, but I’m not leaving here without Louis. He has to need medical attention. He’s coming with me.”

Howard nods. Harry knows this means Howard has to risk getting the security cameras off, going in among house staff on a day he’s supposed to be given the day off. Any little variation from Hath’s plan and they could be discovered. Harh alerted. Harry isn’t going to budge on this though. He’s not going to leave Louis linger in what could be terrible suffering. 

***

Howard has the staff sequestered with him before Harry goes in search of Louis. He’s making up some thing to tell the staff about a great surprise plan for “the master” so as to make it seem legit to be secretive about their meeting. Howard can’t have anyone tip Hath off he’s here on a bonus day off. The plan seems to be working despite the fact no one on staff would classify Hathaway Tomlinson as a boss you would choose to plan a nice surprise for. Whatever. Howard is his longest standing employee, they go along like sheep blind to the oddity. 

Security cameras are also off thanks to Howard. This is unnoticed by the staff. Staff gathered with Howard still means Harry has only minutes to gather up Louis, go through the grate to the Horan’s property. There Howard will have them intercepted, get on with advancing the word out about the two dead men, send out sometone to intercept the Bentley, secure arrest of an accomplice in crime.

Harry knows it’s going to be hard for him even after hearing what he did, to actually discover Louis’ condition. 

When he gets to Louis the word “hard” probably doesn’t even describe the meaning of the impact of seeing Louis.

Louis is laying in his bed looking the worse of Harry’s fears. Louis likely had been washed off. There are ice packs placed like they once were affective in soothing bruises but now they are just room temperature, gel-bags of debris lying, in his bed not in place like they were much comfort. As his injuries have basically gone untreated. He’s left unconscious from them.

The first two strikes Harry saw, one from Hath’s fists and the resulting impact against the car, are purple. They are joined by bruises from the other blows Harry only heard but didn’t see. Louis has massive bruises on his back, his hands look bruised, probably from fighting, his arms, wrist particularly, his neck, his pelvis and hips. His thighs too. He’s breathing oddly, like it’s taking effort. He’s totally unconscious as Harry whispers to him. 

There’s no response. 

Harry makes sure to swaddle naked Louis gently in a sheet trying not touch anything that looks tender. Slipping through the side door with limp Louis in arms Harry is relieved to be out of the house unseen. He makes it through the garden to the grate. The grate is unlocked, he slips through, reaches back hoping it’s not too much stress on Louis bruised form to pull him through he grate using the sheet as a gurney. 

Getting Louis back in his arms he stands, starts walking. Harry’s stays along the outermost edge of the garden, sees the drive path to the home in sight when he is stopped. 

“So what the hell are you doing?” 

Harry turns. It’s Mr Horan. 

“I’m, I’m, I’m Harry. Um,” 

Horan doesn’t look happy. In fact he’s got a hostile posture and an angry flush to his face. 

“I know who you are. I remember you. The whore, Styles. How could I be so stupid though? See I had my doubts since sometime about a year ago when something bad happened to Louis. That pile in your arms is Louis, right? You see when Hathaway told us neighbors the scene that played out with the ambulance coming to get Louis it was the result of something he’d been trying to deal with for sometime. His son, has this thing for sex with men, he likes the rough stuff, anything where he gets dick up his ass. Seemed slightly hard to fathom, for sure Louis always had me convinced he was a nice lad, though probably gay. But then awhile back I discovered that grate between me and Hathaway’s grounds.it got me thinking. Hathaway said Louis has sneaked out. He never knew how. And now I see you, you got this battered Louis in arms. Bringing him back are we? So would that mean you’ve been his pimp? Pretty hard to come up with any other explanation.” 

Harry’s is unsure which point to dispute first when he hears Niall. 

“Helluva bad mistake,” Niall gets out before Harry can argue. 

Horan has his phone in hand to call Hathaway, Niall is contradicting what of the exchange between his father to Harry he’s heard. Harry’s standing there holding Louis having no real clue how this will sort out. Niall comes up with a point that is clearly irrefutable as father and son shout over each other, “Harry’s got no way to get through there without a key! He was going to Louis’ he’s coming from it! Back at the house Howard had gotten the grate unlocked, Harry’s getting Louis away because for once and all, the man whose been getting to Louis is his own god-damn father!” 

Horan shakes his head “no”; he looks a little less confident but he stays on his phone. He gets a connection, it’s clear by his message voice that Hath didn’t answer. Horan tells him what the call is for. “Hathaway I got that Styles slut here. On my grounds, got your son in his arms, seems like something is going on that you should know about.” 

He ends the call and Niall is more furious with him, “You want to know something? You want to know why I stay here? Why I don’t go on off to Uni full time, be the man I want to be, my career path, my life, my choices? It’s because of Louis. Louis’ father. Louis being trapped here at his home by a man who rapes him repeatedly, beats him! Leaving here means leaving Louis to this fate!” 

Like that the sound of a car gives Harry dread until he turns to see it’s a Land Rover, not a roadster. Liam and Zayn do a hard stop when they see this group. Leaping from the car they come to gather Harry and Louis. Niall lets his father have one last piece of his mind as he turns to join them. 

Loading in the Rover, Liam is driving, Zayn in the front seat. Harry and Niall take the back seat with Louis laying on their two laps. Leaving him unbelted is the only option Harry let’s Niall know, “...trust me you really don’t want to see what’s under this sheet.” 

Discussion clarifies the timing of this rescue. 

Howard. 

Howard got ahold of them. He gave them little information just the urgency of the brief call, it being essential that Harry get their help, he and Louis get beyond Hath’s reach. 

This gives Harry hope that this means Howard got ahold of the authorities too but doing all this while he was keeping staff distracted. Zayn phone rings. It’s Howard. He’s finished with the staff meeting, he has given an anonymous report of the murders, but he’s concerned because he’s gotten confusing information on the whereabouts of Hathaway. The schedule was for him taking a commercial flight later in the day, just a one night stay planned to accomodate business early the next morning in Paris. Howard is confused though; it seems that Hathaway got a private charter flight scheduled. It’s time, destination is unknown he recounts to Zayn. All that he can verify is the charter company said the plane is ready and on standby, so was the message left at the number of the Tomlinson residential phone. 

Zayn has to leave everyone hanging while he gets the implications from the meaning of all of this. When he is finished speaking with Howard the four of them come to the meaning. Where Hath is will be crucial to where they take Louis. Getting him medical help is essential. If Hath is floating around somewhere unknown, what is the threat possibilities to his intervening? Is he going to stop his string of crimes before he gets to Harry? Cause further harm to Louis?

As they get to where Liam would turn to go to the hospital Zayn gets another call from Howard. The mystery man has just gotten back with the Bentley. He put it back in the garage and left. 

This can only mean Hath has gotten notice that Harry is not where he’s supposed to be. Go someplace that no one will expect, is Howard’s advice. Just let him try to discover where Hath is. 

Harry’s head is spinning. Louis’ head, shoulders are in his lap. Niall has the leggy part of Louis, between them on the seat is Louis’ bum. Through every facet of his transfer from his bed Louis fully unconscious. He needs medical attention. 

Harry about to suggest his safe-house flat Ben provided when Liam says something that has Harry’s head spinning more. Maybe what Liam says shouldn’t be a surprise. Afterall Harry knows Liam and Zayn have a secret Ziam thing going on. Maybe that’s why Liam is driving Zayn’s Land Rover like he does it commonly, a vehicle way beyond Liam’s “I work three jobs t make ends meet” lifestyle.

“Zayn. Think we should take Harry and Louis to ours. I’ll get my friend Dr Peter to come by, we’ll get started looking after Louis, let the whereabout of Hath become clear. What’d you think?” 

“Sounds like a plan.” Zayn says to Liam. Then he looks in the back seat and says, “Let’s go to me and Liam’s?” 

What? Me and Liam’s? “Ours”, Liam said? Like Ziam is not only a thing, it’s a share the car and have a secret living arrangement kind of thing? 

Niall looks as surprised as Harry when they make eye contact with each other before looking back at Zayn. Niall jumps on it. 

“So you two have a thing? Like roommates? Like secret roommates?” Niall asks with trepidation in his voice. 

Zayn sounds very casual as Liam resumes driving, taking a different direction than toward the hospital. “Yeah, like roommates. We were going to tell you sometime, but like for now, with us all living formally at home, to be around for looking after Louis, it was something we didn’t want to seem like we are selfish about, occasionally we just need to be together. Basically we only use it to...um, to be together.” 

Niall seems trying to process. Harry, because of hearing and seeing the signs, is bomb proof about this. Besides his moral standing is such, nothing bothers him when it comes to what people like, unless it’s non consensual or underage...like for Louis. 

So Harry jumps in. 

“By ‘be together’ you mean fuck. You two like to fuck.” Harry smiles. A thing he hasn’t done for hours and hours, having a funny almost sort of curiosity he doesn’t stop, throws the questionout there. “Just curious, lads. Who tops?” 

Harry has to remember this reply forever it’s so chill. 

“We kinda share that.” Liam says. It’s like he’s telling someone about something as trivial as a game of Mario Cart. 

So chill. 

So unexpected from Mr Straight Liam. Apparently not so straight Liam. 

This makes Liam hot in a way Harry has never considered Liam. Of course Zayn has always been appealing to Harry. It just never occurred to Harry the girls Zayn entertains are part of a false image, part of his artist creativity. A way to say he’s not into dick, but all this time here are Harry’s good friends Zayn and Liam in a relationship. Something where they share a car Zayn pays for. Share a flat. Go to clubs where they think no one will know them.

As Niall still tries to get his mind wrapped around this, Harry’s ready you move on because he’s still got Ben to connect with, the guilt of Caesar’s murder and above all Louis. Louis looks so pale and battered and just needing some care. 

“Hey, Liam, Zayn, can we just get the doctor, Dr Peters, right away? I’m kinda worried ...” 

“It’s Peter Morgan, Dr Morgan, and yeah I get him as soon as we get to the flat. He’s actualy soon to be official doctor in residence at the hospital, he’s a newly minted physician. Only a year ago he was a scrub like me. We’ve worked together. I like him a lot. He’s also gay, so there’s that. I mean, he’s going to understand about Louis’ needs and not be an arse to anyone, none of that, I mean.” 

Once they have Louis slipped into a nice comfortable bed, Louis so pathetic looking with his bruises, his breathing still so unsettling, Liam has Peter on the phone, Harry borrows Zayn's phone and goes to another room to call Ben. 

Ben answers like a person would if they know something is terrible wrong. He’s just waiting to hear from Harry. 

Harry tells him everything in an immediate information dump, his emotion overwhelms him and he’s hard to understand with his breakdown of tears, remorse, regret. 

Ben gets to him, “Harry, Harry, okay stop, listen, listen to me. Caesar is not dead, he’s at the hospital, Hath didn’t kill him. The prognosis is good. I got to the alley where this happened within maybe minutes of when Hath left. Caesar will be okay. He’s not talking with anyone yet, but as soon as he can the entire thing will come out. In the meantime where are you, did you say you got Louis to the safe house? Is that where you are?” 

“No, some secret flat my friends, and secret lovers, Zayn and Liam are sharing. Niall is here too. He got into a fight, argument with his father when I took Louis out through the Horan’s. Horan called Hath. No answer, but Hath knows Louis is gone. The cleanup guy who took the Bentley for dispatch of me knows I was gone. Gonna have some young doctor friend of Liam’s do what he can for Louis. He needs hospital I fear.” 

Ben gets the address of the from Harry. He tells Harry it’s probably best to stay there. As soon as the authorities talk with Caesar, or ballistics can confirm the possibility of the man in the alley and Caesar were shot with the same type of weapon as Aiden, there will be an order issued for Hath’s arrest. Harry can bring Louis to the hospital, by Harry’s account of the events it will seal the information that is needed to finally bring down this villain, powerful man or not. Harry got Ben worried withnthe second flight prospects. Sounds like Hath is a runner. 

Harry gets into bed next to Louis after the call because he wants nothing more that to wake Louis, see Louis smile, or even as that is unrealistic, just see what color his eyes are. Cerulean? That is a good sign. Pale sapphire blue, somewhat concerning. 

Peter arrives, Liam brings him to the room where Harry’s in bed bedside Louis, nails at the foot of the bed, Zayn’s across the room on a chair looking like he’s agitated because he’d like to be smoking. As Louis continues to breath rapidly, they all are relieved. Peter sets down a pair of suitcases he has that are marke first aid. He introduces himself as “just Peter”. “No really,” he says, just call me Pater. Still getting used to this whole doctor thing.” 

He seems calm about Louis. Liam alone can pick up that Peter is not really calm, being friends, working together for sometime Liam senses that Peter has his game-day face on for the benefit of the audieance. Harry, inparticualr seems incapable of being sat more than inches away from Louis. His face drought with worry. The more Peter sees the injuries the more he says less about his examination. Everyone sits very quiet so Peter can assess heart rate, blood pressure, all the vital signs. When he comes to some conclusion he says he needs help to softly roll Louis to his belly. He want to examin another thing. 

Confronted with Louis bum side up sends Peter off his stoic professionalism some. He sort of holds back from starting his exam. 

“His father does this to him? Liam says this happens somewhat often. Is that true?”

“It wasn’t just his father last night. There was second man. The man started with Louis. After the man got off once, Louis’ so called father, stepfather, did it with the other man in Louis too. It seemed like it was the first time Louis has been raped like that. Usually it’s his stepfather alone. He doesn’t ever do it nice though. Even when he’s chasing having Louis come when he’s in him, he hardly contains his rage that Louis is gay. Probably the only nice thing he did was he made the other man wear a condom. He’s a complete monster. He flipped into this rage solely because Louis was looking at my date’s phone when we came back from the bathroom.” 

Peter is taking it in. He’s eyeing Louis with a weird mix of emotion that he is clearly not wanting to give alarm by sharing. 

“From what Liam said I’m gathering this is the offense for which your date got shot and you shoved into a trunk?” 

Harry nods. It still haunts him how foolish he’s been. He’d rather not give out information that he’d been with Louis hours before. How Louis warned him to stay away. Harry’s got enough guilt. 

Peter nods back to Harry before he gets back to his exam. He goes to part Louis’ bum but the plush bottom is so bruised he takes a measure of care he seems unsure how to approach. Niall has turned away. Zayn is just looking out the window. Only Liam stays collected, his deameanor in his training, essential to his ultimate goal. 

Liam is about to offer assist. Harry interjects. 

“I can part that for you if it helps. I’ve been with him before.” Harry’s says ignoring mentioning it’s all business anyway in his world. Accept no. With Louis it was never business. Even the money that Hath left laying there when Harry helped father rape son there was no pay that Harry left with. Harry wonders now if that was in part his downfall. Was that a sign Hath took meaning in? He hired Harry to prep Louis. Eat him out, suck him off, whatever, just make him come. Harry refusing the pay did it say something to obvious? It sure would explain the reaction in the men’s room at dinner. Harry the gay whore has a heart. In it he has a special place for Louis. 

How could Harry be so brash and stupid? 

Harry puts his hands on Louis’ body pulling cheeks ever so softly. Peter looks a tiny bit more concerned. He takes a deep breath, reins the emotion in and begins a very, very delicate exam. He gets his conclusion suddenly, or so it seems. Once he sits up and back he says to Harry to help gently roll Louis back over. As soon as Louis is placed Peter starts an IV. He says only, “I’m getting him on fluids. Going to infuse with this pain medication, fever reducer, because he’s got a slight fever. Maybe you’ve noticed. I’m also adding some antiobiotic.” 

Peters confidence of an approach is reassuring but he’s got this other side of things that is alarming. Harry’s asks “Should we cold compress the worst of the bruises or something?” 

“You could do that, yes, I know the surface bruises look horrible, they are. He’s got the worst of the damage, I fear, internal. He’s got to have a surgeon soon. I’m just taking the edge off with this, he spent a night left without care. Why not let me take him to the hospital?” 

Liam steps in. “We got to do that. Looking at what Peter has found, this is a mistake. Harry, you can stay here. Zayn and Niall will keep you out of harms way while we get Louis taken care of. It’s likely Hath can’t risk being around like nothing has happened. He’s got people though who do his dirty work. We don’t know who they are. You are at risk. He probably doesn’t know Caesar survived, but we know he knows you’re alive. You got Louis out of the house. If Louis goes into the hospital and you’re there you’re a sitting duck. There are too many people at the hospital. Too easy to slip in unnoticed among all the activity. You’re better here.”


	32. Chapter 32

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is short. Since I have a suggestion that an update is deserved “soon-ist” this is all I’ve got. Sort of a cliff hanger of a break, but it is a new read/ bad cut, but new.

Harry is escorting Louis to the doctor again for what they hope is his final follow up visit. Harry looks over at Louis sitting in the seat beside his noting that Louis is particularly, disturbingly, quiet. When Louis feels Harry’s focus on him he looks to Harry. Louis gives Harry a warm smile. Harry can see through the smile that Louis is hiding; he’s worried. 

Ever since the terrible events leading up to Louis stay in the hospital Harry looks for the most minute changes in Louis’ that are indicators of his wellness, his mood. His outward bruises are gone but Louis still has the dark circles under his eyes even now weeks after he was released from the hospital. 

Harry returns Louis’ smile. He remains positive. 

Louis turns to look back out the window of the car, seemingly needing to be alone as he frequently is, deeply lost in his private thoughts. Harry let’s him be. Louis has been more fragile since the horrible experience that hospitalized him. Under his eyes he constantly has these tell-tell signs of his status. Harry doesn’t need to be a doctor to measure his fitness. Harry would like to see the dark circles go away permanently; their color are a constant indicator of how Louis doesn’t ever really sleep well since the assault. 

It might be because of the strain of knowing his step father successfully left the country getting to Greece on a private charter ahead of the authorities apprehending him. Extradition is pending but not probable to happen anytime fast. This has left Louis in a state of limbo, a level of constant fear and uncertainty, since it has become clear that leaving Louis beside was never Hath’s intent on that fateful night. 

When two men associated with Hath in his crimes, the cleanup crew, entered a plea bargain to hope to lower their future trial sentences, they shared information of the plan. One of the men was sent to the alley soon after Hath left the alley with Louis and Harry. The other man was the one who Harry and Howard saw take the Bentley. He had been assigned that night to take Harry from the Tomlinson estate, do away with him. Once it became apparent to Hathaway the next day that he had a trail of crimes whose discovery was looming his plan to leave for Greece taking Louis with him by private charter was altered to simply fleeing. 

Since then court actions to freeze Hathaway’s assets in London didn’t afford Louis protection from the possibility that Hathaway would still make an effort to follow though bringing his son to Greece. Hathaway’s wealth was clearly seeded in multiple banking institutions throughout the world. 

This is why Louis isn’t sleeping well. The toll, constant fear, leaving him drained. Harry has taken to protectively watching Louis by being with him almaost constantly. If, for some reason Harry can’t be with Louis, Liam, Zayn, Niall like to be with him even though he is now living at Aiden’s house. Patti petitioned to get guardianship for the months remaining with Louis classified as a monitor because with no known surviving family for Louis to live with, her argument for this arrangement was persuasive. It probably didn’t hurt that her husband, a British Ambassador and a man of considerable influence, worked to see this happened for Louis. To Aiden’s family he is still the person their son, brother, meant to marry.

Harry struggles with how much he would like to know if Louis is comfortable living at Aiden’s but it’s impossible to get questions about this out when Louis seems to push Harry back from this subject like many other subjects always leaving Harry with questions unanswered. Harry doesn’t want to risk making Louis suffer more emotionally with prying. Demonstrative of Louis’ emotional state is how he had yet to open Aiden s diary even though Harry has returned it to him when Louis came to live with Aiden’s family. Harry knows this to be true because the diary still sits in Louis’ room, once Soren’s, with the string around it tied exactly as Harry left it when he brought it back to Louis after Louis’ release from the hospital. 

With the smile Louis just gave to Harry, Harry has all he needs to be strong, to do like all the medical and psychological professionals suggest when Louis’ long history abuse was revealed. Let Louis share his thoughts as he feels ready. Is it difficult to be living in Aiden’s home environment where to loss is so evident? Harry would like to know. He doesn’t ask. Instead he tells Louis how he feels; he’d love to have Louis living with him someday soon. So much so that by 5PM June 9th, Harry had radically transformed his life. 

He’d let his roommate know he wasn't coming back to theirs. Instead he is moving into a new flat near Uni where Harry is hoping to enroll in classes in the next term, to start a new life. He let his clients know, effective immediately that he was no longer in the business of “escorting”. 

Finally he once again hires Ben. This time it is for a special project given that the business of exposing Hath for his crimes was not their problem anymore. 

The secret assignment that Harry has asked of Ben is to find Louis’ biological father. Find the man and learn what kind of person he is. Harry won’t let Louis be bound to another monster like Hath. He needs to know how a man who conceived a child with Jay could leave her and child. Harry was left. It’s a scar that never heals, but maybe with Louis it’s not the same tragedy. If only Ben can verify that he is a good man. Harry will take things from there. 

Harry’s hopes are that with luck this man will be someone who can offer Louis some connection to his identity, maybe offer him love, acceptance and even emotional support. A small bit of his identity might be nice too given that in Hath there is none of what is Louis. This is all Harry wants for Louis from his biological father because Harry has every intention of supporting Louis in other ways. Financially Harry wants to set Louis free from Hath’s wealth. It can stay tied up in litigation with Hath’s fugitive status for years, decades. Harry will be able to take of Louis just fine. 

Harry’s long career as an escort has secured him a considerable wealth. He’s had clients, like Paul Anderson, who are investment gurus, who’ve made his hard earned money make him more money. His plan was always to retire from his work by thirty. While he’s quite a bit shy of that age by more than a decade Harry’s wealth has been well accumulated in the eight years he’s been banking it thanks to the incentives that come with a motivation these mostly male clients had because of their yearning to please Harry. 

This is why Harry talks to Louis about the future. Always about the future. If all Louis can give him is a smile, never his thoughts, the smile is enough to says he trusts Harry, than Harry will be fine with that. Louis’ fear of Hath abducting him might wane in time but for now all Louis’ friends, Harry, Liam, Zayn, Niall, Aiden’s parents and brothers, his football teammates, all of them have Louis’ back on keeping him safe. 

And Harry, Harry has plans. One piece of them he is wanting to show Louis when they leave the doctor 

*** 

Harry getting anxious. It seems this last exam is taking a long time. Usually Patti comes with them and now Harry’s wishing she was. He thought it was convenient that she was obligated to another appointment which allows Harry to plan a nice surprise after they’ve finished however, thatnwas before this exam started to take too long. 

When a nurse pops out to ask Harry to come back, it’s really concerning. 

Is everythignal right? Harry asks. It’s taking so long. 

“Join the doctor and Louis.” The nurse says showing him to the exam room door. 

Harry enters the room. The doctor is seated on a stool. He nods to Harry and keeps talking soothingly to Louis. Louis looks gutted. His face shows he’s been crying. His hands are shaking with tissues clutched in them. 

Sitting their on an exam table, wearing only a hospital type gown that opens in the back he looks small and exposed. Vulnerable. Shaken. Harry’s fearing the worse. Has the doctor found reason for ongoing concern? Can all these weeks of Louis’ tarnished appearance been something medical not the psychological? 

Harry swoops to Louis, enveloping him in arms. Louis saturates the spot on Harry’s shirt where his face presses. The doctor stands finishing his softly spoken words. 

“I’m so sorry Louis. Sorry. There are some things a surgeon can’t fix. Sometimes we make mistakes too.” 

With that the man nods at Harry again. He slips from the room. 

With the doctor gone Louis starts sobbing anew.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay so that was a bad place to leave this, €¥?


	33. Chapter 33

Harry confines Louis wrapping Louis in his arms, placing kisses on the side of Louis’ head, he can say nothing. He’s sick with fear. How horrible could it be? Did they miss something? Were the signs of something worse evading the doctor for all this time? 

When Louis stops crying so hard, after he blows his nose, his eyes settle on Harry’s. “I just can’t believe it,” he says with his voice raspier than normal. 

What? Permanent damage? The exam found something new lurking? He’s dying? What?

Then Louis lets his hand open. Sorting among the wad of tissues stuffed there in his hand Louis separates from the tissues the beaten up, thread-bare in spots faded to bland canvas color anklet he always wears. 

“He was finishing and right as he said I could get up so we would talk some more he just snipped this off like that it was as if Aiden was gone all over again.”

Harry is sure he pulled a twisted face like only can come when there is a convergence of something intensely sad to hear but so much not the worse that ones brain makes weird things happen. Harry almost laughs but he chokes instead catching the fact that to Louis this is still a connection to Aiden that he carries everywhere. He’s lived with it for so long he doesn’t seem to recognize it as not integral to him. 

Pushing his relief aside Harry rests his hug, pulls Louis tighter into his chest, kisses his forehead. He wanted to go for lips but this is about Aiden. It would be shallow to press things. 

Reassuring Harry’s comfort is accepted. Louis nuzzles his lips on Harry’s skin in the little space where neck and lower jaw meet. He kisses Harry there. It’s nice. Harry immediately gets a little stiff. 

Louis is naked under the hospital exam gown. Harry's hands can’t find any reason to not use the open back covering to his benefit of feeling skin. Louis’ skin is one of Harry’s most cherished things to just sit and admire. It’s such a bronzy color that looks even more spectacular when his body is sweaty or a flushed with hint of rosey-glow like when he orgasms. Harry would like nothing more than to start at the newly bare ankle, kiss the violated area making it delight with the tickling nature of the touch of his lips, then slowly work his way up. Once he got to the thighs, Harry would linger there on the inside where it’s so tender and sensitive and make Louis writhe offering promises of what he would do if Louis would just stave off coming for a little while. 

Or so this is what Harry would like to do. 

What he does though is what he’s been learning to do anytime Louis is dealing with trauma. “What can I do for you? Would you like me to find someway to make it go back on? I wonder if we could get someone to properly attach some of those little metals clasps on the ends, you know?”

Louis pushes Harry back a bit so he can see Harry’s face. Louis looks astonished. All the pain he was shrouded in vanishes. He holds up the tattered thing that’s not much more than a string looking at it like it’s that metal ring it was meant to be once Louis turned eighteen.

“You think there is someone who could do that?” Louis asks looking so hopeful Harry knows he doesn’t care what it takes he will find someone who will do that. It may seem trivial, but to Louis this matters. Louis still can’t bring himself to read his lover’s diary, but he needs the thing that represents their history. Their commitment. 

As for right now all Harry cares about is his role in keeping Louis safe and emotionally stable. “Yes, Boo. We can do that. I can find someone. All you need to descide is what clasp you want. Do you want white gold or yellow gold?” 

Once Harry asks the question he wonders where the pet name came from. It just slipped out of him like he’d been using if for years. Louis doesn’t acknowledge it. He just looks at the tattered rope with a much more serene calmness blossoming on his face. 

On the question he turns to Harry. “I don’t know. What do you think would look best?”

Harry has fantasized about Louis, his skin, that way it would look in certain settings or articles of clothing. He’s had many a dream where Louis is this slave in Ancient Rome, himself the lord. In his dreams he pictures Louis wearing a short frock so his ample thighs are exposed. Always it has a neckline that is loose, revealing. He imagines the sides of the garment are cut out so that much of Louis’ body is revealed. Maybe occasionally the fairly revealing attire shows the occasional glimpse of Louis tiny nips in the course of the movements Louis makes when serving his master. All of this fantasy attire Harry dreams of Louis wearing has gold trim. This because it’s what would emphasize Louis’ honey skin tone. 

“I think maybe yellow gold.” Harry says.

Louis looks at Harry. Harry’s hands bearing multiple rings. His half unbuttoned shirt revealing his three necklaces. All are silver-tone. 

Louis looks at the rope. Staring at it like it’s new, fascinating he decides. “You like white gold. It looks great on your skin. I think I’d like the clasp to be white gold, like you would wear.”

Harry gets a shock. How can Louis be this adorably sweet? It’s in someway important to Louis to connect this extremely meanful thing from Aiden with Harry now. Harry’s heart feels like it could burst. He gives Louis a big hug, and with it this time, he allows a kiss to happen.

Louis melts into Harry’s kiss. Minute later Harry feels like the slight stiffening is reaching a point that if this kiss doesn’t stop he will have to bring up the simple gown and get into Louis. This makes him break off the kiss.

“So property violation put aside for a minute what is the word on you’re recovery? What does the doctor say?” 

Louis lays back on the raised exam table. The pinkness of his nose from crying so hard is matched by the pinkness in his cheeks from the kiss. His lips are now red from being kissed. Seems when he reclines his position shows his body has the same response from their kiss as Harry’s. 

Harry’s been in many sinful settings doing various sorts of sexual things and so he wonders why this should be any different? 

Seeing the look on Louis’ face when his hand slides down to touch himself through the fabric of his gown it seems like Louis is on the same page. Like a complete slut Louis begins to play with himself while he relays to Harry the report. “He says I’m very healthy looking in there. He’s concerned about my sleeplessness, so he set me up with more sleeping pills, but my report is good. I can go back to all my normal activities.”

The implication about “activities” is written on Louis’ face as he slowly wanks his shielded cock, staring Harry down. When he licks his lips that’s it for a Harry. 

Harry launches back to his side. He bends down over Louis with a kiss that is none of the soft, tenderness of the one they just shared. No. This one is direct, forceful, full of drive to take Louis’ breath and make him pay for being such a tease. 

While they kiss Harry takes the robe up and over Louis’ head because his back is on the ties. 

There he is. Laid out for Harry his erection prideful in his hand that returned to it immediately when Harry disrobed him. 

Harry likes the kinkiness of the setting. He wishes the table had the stirrups like the OBGYN tables do. Oh well. With no subtly Harry moves to the foot of the table, puts Louis’ legs over his shoulder so he can bury this face between the legs and lick into Louis. 

Initially there’s a hint of something medicinal. Not long after Harry invests in this the taste goes away. Harry likes how Louis responds to getting eaten out. It’s got his back arching, a hand busy with his erection while another keeps him stable because Harry’s got him so worked up. Staying quiet is a challenge. Louis seems to want to say something when is rapid breathing is interrupted. 

“Gonna put something in there soon?” Louis gets that out with some difficulty. His cock has precum beading in the slit. It’s clear to Harry if he so much as worked even one finger into Louis he could most likely have Louis coming. 

“Dr Styles need to make his own prognosis. He thinks his lovely patient can come is any second, untouched by dick. Hum, should we find out?” 

Louis gasps a “but no” which Harry knows means not “no” as in “no”. Rather it means “no” to doing something other that putting more than the tip of a tongue in him. The problem is Harry’s been savoring the time when he can finally maybe have sex in a proper way with this boy. The setting, while an interesting kink, isn’t the sweet lovemaking environment Harry saw in his dreams. 

That’s why protest brushed aside Harry sinks on Louis, adorably needy prick and sucks him into orgasm. Louis is practically coming off the table by the writhing action Harry elicits from him, his hands offering him no stability because they are gripping Harry’s head of curls as he moans “oh yeses” ever so softly as not to give their behavior away. 

Harry loves the taste of Louis, just Louis, no medicinal hint as he swallows every last bit, lips secure on Louis until Louis is clearly too sensitive. As soon as he pulls off Louis pulls him into a kiss. The kiss not a soft as their first here, no as passionate with need as their second. It’s somewhere in between. 

“Thank you, so good, thank you.” Louis says. He looks incredibly grateful. Placated. Also like a person who was emotional like he was when the doctor left so with any luck they won’t leave the exam room looking like boys just having had sex in the exam room. At least Harry hopes for that as he gets around to getting Louis’ clothes from where they are in a cubby of his personal affects. 

Louis seems content to dress slow. He makes it a point to kiss Harry’s hand evertime Harry serves his butler role of assisting him with handing him each piece. Completely dressed Louis stops Harry before they exit for one last kiss as they stand at the door for several long minutes leaving the words expressed between them in the form of their kiss. 

Louis kiss says “I trust you. I’m grateful. I need you.” 

Harry’s says “I will always protect you. I’m grateful for you too. I need you too.” 

Afterall Harry thinks a lot about how he and Louis are both sort of damaged people. Some huge differences by the individual nature of hardships they’ve faced, but somehow this makes them an affective couple. With Louis, Harry has no judgement.

*** 

Louis and Harry leave the exam room to find waiting for them is Louis Teasdale. Lou, who Louis has never met, has been following his recovery. In the first few days following Louis’ admission she met Harry, and the other members of team Louis, Aiden’s family. She became well acquainted Harry in the many hours Harry spent over many days because they shared interest in a great many things. Besides, Harry wanted to learn about Jay from this woman that Ben found was mentored as a new nurse by Louis’ mother. 

“Harry!” Lou says in an exicted, warm greeting. She says that while moving to greet him but the entire time she is looking at Louis. 

Harry hugs Lou. They both have their bodies turned a bit toward Louis. After Harry kisses her on the cheek as they part Lou turns quickly to address Louis. 

“Louis, it is so nice to finally meet you. Again. I mean I knew you when you were a child and I’ve been around the medical campus thorough your ordeal. How are you love? I heard this might be your final visit to us?” 

Louis has some understandable shyness with what he has been through but he smiles at Lou. Tells her he’s good. His hand slips into Harry’s. Louis tells her that Harry taking very good care of him. There’s an entendre to his words but he remains very much politely discrete. 

Lou checks her watch like she’s only on break from work. She’s wearing her hospital ID card so this seems true. Pulling out an envelope from her clipboard she speaks with a rush to her cadence. “Louis I would love for this to be not so brief. But since I have to get back to work maybe we can meet again another time. I do have something for you that I want to give you today. When I was first made aware of your being here, for treatment, I’ve been looking for something I think you might like to have.” 

With that Lou opens the envelope. It’s a 5x7 inch photo that Lou pulls out. Or photos. The top one is a group of people, hospital staff. She hands the photos to Louis. 

“This is a photo of my first year as a nurse here. It was to be our unit’s staff photo. You know, just our team for patients and families to show who was working in that unit. Your mum was in charge of the neonatal crisis unit nursing team. She was my mentor. Taught me all the important things that school can’t prepare us for. Your mum was not only lovely on the outside everyone who knew her thought she was an angel. On the day of the staffphopt you had been brought to work at the end of your mum’s shift. Your sitter was sick. We had this photo taken of our team. But if you look closely....” 

Louis and Harry both do and immediately see the funny thing. 

“you’ll see this little boy peeking out between his mum and me.” 

Louis looks astounded. Harry watches him and isn’t sure if he’s going to cry again or what. Lou continues. She directs Louis to look at the next picture by pulling away the first one. 

“And that’s not all. I had the original image blown up. See? There is just you and your mum. But Louis there is more,” she says again pulling away the top photo. 

There featured in the next picture is just Jay and Louis. It’s clear it’s taken at the same place in the hospital. Jay is in her scrubs, wearing her id. Her hair is pulled back like it was proper for a working day. Crouched down to be the same height for the photo as her small son, little Louis appears to be no more than four. He’s adarble. He’s wearing a white shirt, blue shorts, suspenders, knee socks with his shoes and a cap. Mother and son are all smiles. He looks to be the happiest child on earth. 

“You see i went to the original photographer for permission to alter the staff photo. It’s a thing here we can’t reproduce these. Part of our contracts. We can use, distribute, alter without permission. When I explained to him the situation. Why I wanted this, he told me he and a couple more ne did of just you and your mum. To quote him, he said ‘he was captivated by this beautiful angle of mercy, your mum, and her sprite of a child’. He took these of the two of you after he did our unit’s photo, I’m sure you don’t recall. We thought you would like to have them.”

Louis looks at the last remaining unseen photograph. It’s of mother and son again. Jay is still crouched but she and Little Louis are looking at each other. In their faces it’s pure love and laughter like they’ve just had a little joke between them.

Lou has to leave Louis, to get back to work. She likely feels bad because she’s leaving Louis a sobbing mess, due to overwhelming gratitude for the amazing gift. Louis was instantly choked up within a split second of seeing the last two photos, so much meaning in them he couldn’t prevent himself. Harry has to take the pictures and put them aside for sake of not having tears ruin them. Harry has to let Lou know that they will be in touch with her again soon so Lou can share her Jay-stories with Louis when she’s not on the work clock. 

It’s been a rollercoaster of a day for Louis and the time is not yet noon.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I channeled a reference to a favorite fiction of mine for the fantasy in this update where Harry drifts into dreams he has about being the governor in Ancient Rome with Louis as a slave. If you haven’t read ‘I Hunger For Your Beautiful Embrace’ yet you should. In fact read all the author’s fictions!


	34. Chapter 34

Once Harry and Louis leave from the appointment Louis calls Patti. Then he calls Liam (and Zayn), Niall, some of the friends from football. The latter are very excited that his might mean Louis will be back playing with them, maybe even joining in practices because he’s not forced to sneak around since he’s living with Aiden’s parents. When Louis gets off the phone as Harry is driving he gives Harry feedback on the various people’s responses to the news. The footballers have confided something poinent. 

“...they said they really want me back as soon as possible because it’s been so hard loosing us both. Aiden and me. They have something planned for me, they hope I like it.” Louis says. Then he is curious when he realizes where Harry has driven to. 

No longer on the phone Louis recognizes that Harry has taken them to the part of London with the most exclusive retail. In fact they just passed by the elite hotel where Louis and Eleanor had been playing on the fateful day of the anniversary.

“Where are we going?”

“Well it sounded like Patti wasn’t home yet, so we’ve got some time. Let’s do a couple errands.” Harry says parking. 

He gets out, goes to get Louis’ door. Louis let’s Harry's hand assist his exit. It’s not like Louis is still troubled with recovery but there’s something about this romancy-stuff that Harry likes doing. Louis let’s Harry like he likes it too. 

They have short walk to the entrance of one of London’s finest jewelers. 

“Let’s see about the repair, shall we?” Harry says as he opens the door for Louis just before the doorman does. Louis lights up like a child at Christmas. 

They are in the store for less than a second before a woman salesperson swoops to greet Harry. Harry introduces Louis to her. “Bethany, I’d like you to meet ...” Harry pauses and pushes the words out with a prayer it will be okay, “Louis, my boyfriend.”

“Boyfriend!” Louis shouts inscanely loud as he throws his arms around Harry as if this is news to him. News he’s thrilled about. How loudly he screamed that has everyone in the post store, employees and customers alike, looking at them. 

Bethany seems unfettered. Like she knows Harry. His work. His orientation. Confirming that is her reply. “Like I’ve been saying all these years sweetie how you deserve someone special. Looks like you’ve found that. And such a pretty thing too, sly devil. Now your holdout makes sense. Nothing but the finest for Harry’s Styles. So, Louis, what are we shopping for? Something for you, something for Harry? He’s still got one or two fingers that aren’t adorned. Rings by chance?”

Her innuendo isn’t subtle. She walks them back along the rows of glittering gold and diamond inventory in well-lit glass cases. Going behind one that is her usual station she smiles with a smirk at her own assumption.

Harry gives the answer. “We have have a project with something special that was given to Louis. It needs a very delicate touch to repair.” Harry looks at Louis. “Go ahead. Show it to her. Bethany won’t bite.”

Louis takes the pathetic looking worn rope from his pocket and puts it on the glass. In this setting it looks utterly ridiculous. He seems embarrassed. It telling by the way he doesn’t look up at Bethany once he’s revealed his treasure.

Harry boldly goes on. “Bethany this was from someone special that Louis lost. It’s been a anklet he’s been wearing for years. Recently he was, um, in the hospital. This doctor cut the anklet off not realizing its meaningful value. We were wondering if someone here could attach gold clasps to the ends so he can wear it on his again.”

Bethany looks at Louis. He’s still embarrassed, it’s evident. 

“Oh, I see.” She says like some idea is blossoming in her head with the hint about hospital. She’s got a clue who Louis is. It’s been in the paper. London’s finest barrister evading the law wanted for multiple crimes including two murders, attempted murder. Dark secrets not reported about sensitive issues revealing nothing only because another victim of abuse that is a minor, the narrister’s own son. 

After a few seconds of reconciling the oddity of all of this Bethany snaps into her very professional mode. “Of course we can do this! For sweet Harry, especially, we can do anything. Okay so let’s make a few decisions,” Bethany says. She transfers the worn piece to a velvet pad like it’s a precious family heirloom not some tattered rope. 

Once she’s done this Louis looses some of his bashfulness. 

He stops looking down. 

He looks to her.

Bethany returns his eye contact. It strikes her as Louis’ loss written in his eyes impacts her. “Sweetie”, she says speaking to Harry while still staring at Louis, “I’d like to see you wearing one of my custom made pieces with a gemstone the color of your Louis’ eyes. I’m going to have to search for just the right stone though. Maybe a Beryl in the color of aquamarine, or is that, no, that’s not quite right. There’s something elusive about the color of Louis’ eyes. It’s not exactly aquamarine. Maybe a little like the sea, the Mediterranean Sea.

Louis blushes at the compliment. Harry pulls Louis into him with one arm around Louis’ waist Harry teases her. 

“Bethany is always like this Louis. Next thing you know she’ll be making you a matching ring to the one with a stone your eye-color that she will tell us is inspired by my green eyes, isn’t that right Bethany?”

“Yes, Sweetie. I’ve got the perfect Chrysolite gem for Louis to wear when he needs to stare at your eyes of green if you're not right there in front of him when he has need. It’s from Peridot Hill on the Egyptian island of Zabargad. It’s a very, very nice stone. Very rare. I can price that for you along with this if you like but to find the right Louis-blue? I’m going to have to think about that for a bit. His eyes are not a shade of sapphire, though I can see undertones of those colors in them.”

Setting to work Bethaby brings out some trays of clasps, white gold clasps as Harry asks for. She’s got all the options of the pieces she needs to seal the ends in a gold crimp for them to choose among. They select a style they like, Louis gravitating to a look more sporty to Harry’s preference of something with more flourish. Louis shyly brushes off Harry’s suggestions. 

Bethany observes this all as she analyses Louis. Eventually she asks Louis to sit on a chair so she can see the fit she trims the ends, before they go to select the clasp to use since the metal clasp additions will require sizing the rope down as they add length. 

As she is sat at Louis feet with him on a tall, director’s style chair, she looks at the fit when suddenly another idea occurs to her having watched Louis and Harry interact.

Bethany goes around the display to get out another tray of closures, explaining herself. 

“You know we have these unusual, charm-like closures. I’m getting a very eternity knot vibe from this rope you’ve brought. I want to show you these other hook and eye style closures. There’s one, it’s nautical, Louis how do you feel about something nautical? I know that Harry would prefer butterflies, but what do you think of this?”

Removing one select piece from the new tray of distinctive closures Bethany sets down on the velvet pad a hook and eye closure that has an eternity knot for one end, an anchor at the other. She shares her perspective. “I think this will really set off the natural beauty of the rope.”

Without batting an eye she actually said that. Not to be a smart-ass. Or sarcastic, but like she is really into this project so much she identifies the battered rope as having “natural beauty”. 

Louis sits staring at the eternity know and anchor closure his eyes begin to fill with water. 

He looks at Harry, tears of happinesss. Then to her he says, “It’s perfect. I mean, maybe too perfect.” 

When Louis looks back at Bethany she says, “Ah. Now I’m getting a sapphire color from your eyes, not any sapphire, but something like Indian Sapphire because it’s a tinge on greener side than other sources. Those eyes of yours sure are pretty. So you like the nautical? It’s not really sporty like you first said, although sailing for sure can be considered sport, but I thought you might like it with the rope.”

“It’s perfect because it ties together two people in this one thing. The rope was from my first boyfriend, my former fiancé, he’s dead, and when he gave it to me I wasn’t supposed to be with anyone. And since he’s been gone Harry has become my anchor.”

Bethany is now tearing up. For certain this is the victim the papers didn’t detail. He’s about the sweetest thing Bethany has ever seeen and he’s beside, he’s also boyfriend to one of the most beautiful people Bethany has ever met. Bethany knows about Harry well since years before she moved into her high commission job she too was a person who worked the streets. She has been Harry’s friend since he was about twelve, Bethany being sixteen when they met by virtue of shared life style. Always from the beginning Bethany has pulled for to get off the streets, find love.

“Okay so then we all agree? Then I’ll just do a proper measurement before I trim the ends of the rope for accepting the clasp. We need to make sure the fit is right for how tight you want this anklet to be when the eternity knot and anchor are included.”

While Bethany measured the fit Louis blathers on happily to her. He actually reveals thing Harrys never heard like how since he met Harry he dreams of merpeople and the sea. He imagines a ship in a storm and Harry rescuing him from the waves that try to drag him down. The metaphor of Hath as a storm is remarkably obvious. Harry’s heart beats hard for the love he feels of being so regarded. 

Louis is delighted when Bethany tells them she can make the item up this very day; they can pick it up later before closing. Harry inquires the price and she brushes him off. “Let’s just have this one be on me. Besides Harry, I believe I’ve already made my fortune on you based alone on the rings and necklases your wearing on your person right now. This will be my pleasure to do something so significant for your pretty boyfriend. Just you keep me in mind when you want those wedding bands. Blue and green stones. Both in white gold, or platinum maybe?”

By the time they leave the store Louis is so happily chattering about the anklet he’s almost floating. Harry has to admit the sound of Louis’ voice when he’s light and free like this is like music to him. That’s precisely why he stops dead in his tracks when they walk by a music store with guitars in the window.

Harry pauses. Louis realizes this afterwalking on for a second and turns. Harry asks. “Louis, don’t you play guitar?”

Louis joins Harry looking at the guitars. “Yes, but I stopped.”

Harry knows this. It’s in the diary. No more guitar music for Louis’ birthday. Aiden never knew why. He used to buy Louis sheet music for guitar every year. 

“Why? You play piano beautifully. I would love to hear you play the guitar too.”

“He, my father, he busted my guitar. Obliterated it. Told me if I ever played the guitar again he’d break my fingers next. Told me no son of his was going to turn into some meaningless purveyor of bad music like some twinky boybander. He really freaked out the day he did that. Said boyband looks and guitar playing was a bad combination. Bad more for me because it makes boys want me. No more guitar after that.”

***

An hour later Harry and Louis leave the music store with a new guitar in hand. Harry had to make Louis try about every guitar in the top quality of the store’s inventory, in part because he’d never want to stop hearing Louis play if he knew how good Louis was before. How could Hath be so cruel over something so innocent?

“Where to next?” Louis says as the set the guitar on the backseat of car, Harry seeing Louis to his door to the front seat. 

“Would you let me show you my new flat? I’ve asked you before and you’ve always said later. So would today be okay? We have time.” 

Louis doesn’t say “no”. What he does say indicates he’s not sure. He says only that he’s hungry. 

Of course, Harry reasons in his head. The left the appointment at nearly noon. The went to the jewelers. The music store. It’s nearly 2:30. 

Harry doesn’t explain. He just drives. 

As they approach campus housing Louis gets fussy in his seat. “He’s on to me.” Harry thinks. 

Sure enough Hary pulls into his new residence parking, Louis knows this is not what most students have. Harry’s is slightly off campus. Mostly students who live there are people...well like Louis would be if his father set him up...are privileged. 

Harry cuts the ignition. Gets out. Goes around to offer Louis a hand out. 

Louis accepts. Louis is still braced. Harry is not sure why Louis hasn’t once wanted to come with him to see where hArry lives now that Harry has been with Louis nearly every moment of every day since the .... when it’s been Harry’s catalysts to make massive life changes. 

Transformative. 

*** 

Harry opens the door to his flat. 

It’s impressive for a student residence. Harry goes in ahead of Louis and immediately begins moving things out of the way. Things from the remodeling. Paint cans, drop cloths, ladders...it’s clear while Hary has been living here he has also been remodeling. Or, as Louis learns, while Harry scrambles to move things obstructing Louis’ first viewing, someone hired is doing remodeling. Here and there are articles of furniture covered in protective cloths, some wrapped like they are new. It’s clear when the housing is finished it will be very nicely furnished. 

Harry makes his way to the kitchen which is off the main room, open to the living space. It’s appliances are so new, they still have stickers on them of warnings, operations manuals and such. Harry opens the refrigerator and begins pulling out cheese, fruit, things for a simple midday meal. 

Louis looks around from where he is still at near the front door like he’s afraid to enter.

“So you’re really doing this? Starting over. Uni. A new life in...what are you going to study? Louis asks standing at the door, back to it like he’s afraid.

Harry starts his answer, “Not sure. Business maybe. Maybe study business, because I’ve been doing that basically,” and when he sees Louis is stuck at the door like he’s afraid to enter Harry waves him in, “come on Louis. I make us some lunch then give you the tour. This is the last room to get finished. I’ll show you the parts that look like it’s a home.” 

“A home” is diberative. Harry wants to say “our home” but today is the first day he’s taken a risk of claim, by calling Louis “h i s. boyfriend”. Would it be too far to say “our home”, like they are more than roommates, they are lovers or even something more.

Harry suddenly decides to tour Louis around the apartment, the two bedrooms, a bathroom. He notices how Louis looks at everything, even the smallest, with fascination. It occurs to Harry Louis is taking away from the details of how Harry has decorated the rooms,down to the color towels he selected, the fibers of the bed linens, the little things about a person that you don’t know until you see their home. When they are about to go into the hall from the second bedroom Louis stops Harry by catching Harry’s hand. He turns Harry to him and to Harry’s surprise Louis lean into a kiss. 

It’s a kiss like Harry’s dreamt of for many months. It has the intention of saying want, it not like when Louis was pressed to want Harry back in June when making use of Harry might be a helpful thing to prep him for what was likely to come later. 

No. This is a kiss that says “I want you because I choose you”. Harry moans for the feeling of being seen for who he is, not paid to be and yet wanted. 

Louis has Harry hard from the kiss alone. Harry’s hands go to Louis’ perfect bum, pulling Louis into him and up a bit further fueling Louis becoming more passionate in kissing Harry, needing conveyed. Harry doesn’t know how it happens but his back hits the wall near the door with Louis taking to nearly climbing onto him in their rising passion, then Louis weight shifts, Harry turns and the lack of support behind him makes Harry take a tumble back so he ends up falling on the bed with Louis who comes with him, onto the bed such that Louis is over Harry. 

Once Harry is under Louis, Louis parts from their kiss. His eyes look dark, he licks his lips while looking at Harry’s and has some ideas in his mind based on his mischievous raise of an eyebrow. 

“Has this bed been properly christened?” Louis asks with a Darrick g look to the bed they are on. He lets his hands roam down Harry’s torso, his fingers quickly undoing button after button. 

“It’s new. Not christened.” 

Louis says “not yet” just before leaning down and sucking on one of Harry’s newly exposed nipples. Like that Harry is arching into the pixie prone over him. Louis leaves one nipple to go to the other. He first licks this once, suckles it, leaves it with letting his teeth graze on it so the tease sort of hurts. Harry loves it. As he is unlikely able to be saying that since Louis has him mute by leaving nipples to kiss and suck on skin alone collarbones, neck and jawline. 

Harry relaxes into lettin Louis have his way. It’s such a turn on how bold Louis is being. 

By the time Louis has Harry’s moaning into another kiss, Louis is making undone the closures on Harry’s jeans. Harry begins to feel the destraction from the kiss as Louis’ hand slips under his boxers to begin playing over Harry’s very firm, yet pinned, erection. 

Having Louis’ hand laying a pattern to its strokes over Harry’s cock has Harry arching for more. Moaning let’s Louis know he’s melting into this. Louis leaves the kiss to let Harry share his intentions. 

“Like to lick this, suck you off, let you get like Dr Styles made me today. Would you like that, Dr...Styles?” 

Louis smirks before nuzzling Harry’s neck, leaving tiny kisses between sucking marks, like he loves how each one leaves goosebumps in their wake. 

Harry’s gasps out that “Dr Styles would love that.” 

With lightening speed Louis withdrawals so he can pull Harry’s pants and boxers down. He leaves them around Harry’s legs somewhere between knees and ankles, likely because Harry still has shoes and once the jeans and boxers were pulled lower than crotch Harry’s erection was sprung enough For Louis to take hold of it. It is strikingly hard when it springs free, fully standing straight up all it’s easily more than eight inches. 

Harry would like Louis to get out of his clothes but instead he gets Harry in hands and gets to licking Harrys length. It’s a long run to lick Harry Styles. Harry likes watching the way Louis’ tongue looks on his dick. How Louis delicate features accentuate his mass. He knows he’s going to like even more to have those pink lips around his girth. 

Pretty soon Louis parts them just enough to put a small part of Harry’s knob between them but not properly in his mouth enough to be hidden. 

“My god, Louis, pretty doesn’t begin...” Harry gets out before Louis makes this smacking sound as he makes his mouth leaves the knob briefly before allowing Harry to have more that where just a part of the head is making contact in his lips. He makes this pattern of putting Harry’s knob in his parted lips like one would do with an ice cream cone a couple more times making Harry crazy for more. Must he be suck a tease?

“Please Louis, more please, don’t be a prick tease,” 

Louis makes a “humph” noise while reaching up to twist a nipple with his fingers to silence Harry as he does what Harry asks simultaneous to the nip twist. Harry has his senses exploding with the mix of pain and pleasure as Louis finally puts all of Harry’s cockhead in his mouthed he did the punishing twist. 

It’s “aaahs” and “ooohgods” as Louis gets into a roll going on giving head. Louis, delicate alouis gets Harry’s cock as deep as about anyone Harry has even known. Given that Harry has been with way too many people it’s inconceivable that Louis maybe the best at this ever is nothing shy of it’s maybe remarkable. Whenever Harry gets a little worried Louis will choke, Louis eases his concerns eased by coming back up after each deep throat to alternate into doing this thing of giving Harry this pulsing sucking action with basically just Harry’s knob in his mouth has he sucks on it in these pulses. 

Harry’s view of this cock-sucking perfection forces his to make a comment despite his need to pace his breathing between his “Aahs” and “Oohs”. 

“Fuck sake Louis, have you any clue what your cheekbones hollowed out for sucking my cock makes you look like?” 

Louis uses Harry’s comment as a reason to break off what he was doing, only to give Harry a smile and a wink before turning his head to make a new kind of pleasing sensation. This new thing Louis does by orienting his mouth so he puts only a part of the cock, it’s underside along the vein, between his parted lips sideways like it’s an ear of corn. Flesh only partly pushed between pursed lips Louis mixes sucking skin along the vein with doing some playful pressures with his tongue making swirls against the skin. Doing this from the base of vein all the way up has Harry almost ready to come we’ll nefore. Louis goes up half his length nearing his knob. As soon as Louis gets to the knob his licks into the slit with the swirling like motionleaving Harry with his toes curling inside his shoes because it’s sending a light Eli g bold sensation down Harry’s spine. 

Louis is about to resume fully parting lips go back to sinking Harry deep into his throat when Harry has to talk again because just the pleasure alone of watching how pretty Louis looks giving head is orgasmic.

“God you’re so gorgeous, gorgeous...” Harry gets out before Louis goes down on him again. 

There it is. Orgasm. It’s hits so hard Harry couldn’t even try to give Louis the option to avoid drinking his cum. Louis gives no sign of displeasure. He’s got his eyes closed so his full thick lashes fan over the unfortunate dark circles under his eyes though even these reminants of his abuse can’t diminish his beauty. Does Louis stop sucking as Harry comes, or give into assisting this orgasming with his hand alone? No. He takes every last drop. Doesn’t stop until he knows Harry will suffer if he stays, then he pops off, using the back of his hand to wipe his mouth. Following this Louis makes the slowest path of kissing skin pelvis toward torso, torso to neck in a traveling series of kisses purring about how beautiful Harry is. How much Louis loves pleasing him. 

Louis calling Harry beautiful is probably the first person from whom the comment matters.


	35. Chapter 35

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is me trying to write fluff again with a warning that the pre-fluff inspiration is from art by Karukara. If you know the Karukara piece with Louis on his knees, banana in his bum, you know my fascination with that imagery which is in the opening of this update. Thanks Karukara!  
> ***

Harry can’t believe how effectively, once they sit down to eat this very late lunch how it is that Louis being like this. Yet he can. Louis is clearly choosing to make him suffer; this will teach Harry not to say “no” to Louis again...ever. 

This is because following the blowjob, which led to Louis wanting “to christen” the bed in the other bedroom too, Harry made a mistake, he said “no”, they should eat something. It seemed at the time to be a quite harmless mistake, afterall Louis had looked so tired, emotionally frazzled, all day. Harry thought Louis needed to have just a little lunch given that it is about three in the afternoon and Louis had nothing since breakfast. 

For Harry there was also something else, a little concern for Louis behind the “no”. This is an odd to development in Harry which Harry himself can’t understand this thing came over him after his mind cleared post-orgasm. 

Harry wonders, is this new feeling perhaps because of seeing Louis’ hands, small, gripping his girth, Louis’ face looking delicate against his rather endowed cock while doing his sinful blowjob that lead to a sudden, new reality? Is this why as soon as Louis suggested they have sex in the other room too, that Harry got a weirdly uncomfortable feeling. It’s lost on Harry the irony of this when it happens to him; it’s almost like the way Aiden wrote about when younger Aiden chronicled in his diary about Louis wanting sex with him when he, Aiden, thought Louis wasn’t physically ready yet. Maybe Aiden wasn’t so wrong Afterall back then? 

At the time Harry was reading in the diary about the evolution of their sex life, Harry was harden by his time on the street, and he thought Aiden was overly cautious, kind of crazy to pass on giving what Louis wanted whenever Louis wanted it from him. Why is it that same type of feeling are occurring to Harry about he and Louis now? Maybe it makes no sense given that the doctor approved Louis “resuming activities”. But what are normal activities? Did the doctor mean sex too?

So here they are. Eating their salads that Harry made for them in Harry’s flat. Louis is punishing Harry by doing deliberately strange things with the food. Suggestive things. It began while Harry was preparing the salads. 

Louis wanted Harry to avoid cutting the cucumber, yes, leave it whole, put it in his arse. Bananas, the same, an unpeeled banana, of course. In general if there was some perversion that could be made to happen with an ingredient, Louis was asking Harry to do it...or Harry could simply fuck Louis, so Louis says. 

By the time they leave the flat Harry is dizzy trying to think of where they can go to dial back Louis’ adult humor which is relentless. The anklet was scheduled for pickup between five and six, they’ve got time. 

“How about we go to the park?” Harry suggest. Yes, the park. That’s a very child-forward place. Children would make Louis stop his tantrum based torment of Harry for being conservatively protective about sex with Louis.

They arrive to the park. As soon as they do they see a group of lads finishing up from football. The group is the players on the team that was Aiden and Louis’. They spot Louis. Immediately the team swarms him. 

Once much joking to cover emotions has passed the new team captain, once Aiden’s role, gets his gear bag saying something that has all the other guys hushing like it’s momentous. Everyone listening to him he removes from a side pocket what is a jersey, team colors, as he makes a somewhat formal sounding announcement. 

“Louis. We all have had a hard time with what it means for us to loose our teammate, our captain, our best player, well after you Aiden was our best. And mostly it’s been hard because more than that he was also our good mate. With what you’ve been through we’ve tried to think of what we can do, something symbolic to be like a memorial. We came up with this.”

The captain, a lad name of Nathan, tosses the jersey to Louis. 

Louis holds it up to look at it. 

On the back the jersey is like Louis other ones except for one change. Tomlinson is still across the back. It’s not like Louis can do anything about that now even though everyone might know he’d like to shed the name.

Under the name the number is no longer Louis’ traditional number 17.

In its place it reads “28”. 

Aiden’s number. 

Louis just stares at it. He doesn’t react at first. Harry isn’t sure if Louis is happy or freaked for a few seconds as Louis is stuck frozen-like looking at it with zero reaction. The lad next to Harry thinks he needs clue Harry into the significance, “Twenty-eight was Aiden’s number. We thought if Louis couldn’t have the family name we could at least give him Aiden’s team number number.”

At last Louis reacts. He suddenly hides his face in the shirt with it balled up his hands. His entire body begins to tremble. Harry leads the move by the group to come around Louis in a mass group hug. Everyone isn’t sure if this is putting Louis through some pain. Thar surely was never the intent. 

When Louis finally lets his hands down it’s clear he’d been made to come to tears. Harry ends up being the only one hugging him, having Louis wrapped in his arms still not sure what the thoughts are that Louis has about this. The team is still around them and talking in whispers like they realize they may have fucked up badly. 

Harry presses Louis for insight. “Boo, at you okay? I think they meant it as a loving gesture.” 

Harry sees their heads nodding “yes”, still they look mortified at causing Louis pain, when Louis pulls back from where his face was buried in the shirt, by his hands, against Harry’s chest. 

“It’s just so incredibly nice...” Louis gets out as he continues crying. This brings everyone back into a second mass-group hug. Every person on the team needs to get a hand into the center of the circle to touch Louis, give him a pat, ruffle his hair, anything to say how much he means to them. 

This has Harry much relieved. It’s such a rollercoaster of emotions. More than he was certain about this earlier when he denied Louis sex Harry is now convinced Louis is very emotionally delicate. Harry’s glad he used restraint when Louis wanted Harry to fuck him. Maybe for awhile, doctor’s approval or not, Louis needs to heal from the scars and be liberated from the fear of Hath. Only then can they have sex when Harry knows Louis isn’t masking tender emotions. 

*** 

By the time the team leaves them Louis is all happy and giggles. This transformation because eventually the team got around to asking Harry if Harry wanted to come play a little football with them, just during their practices, just for fun. One of the lads kicked a ball up to Harry as they were offering this. The ball hit Harry in the face because Harry has zero ball handling instincts, “at least with footballs”. 

The tag on the comment was made by Louis, referring of course, to Harry’s “other ball handling skills”. 

Now that the team is gone, time still to spend before going to the jewelers Harry is wondering what to do next when a few little girls scream “Louis” running up to see him. The next thing Harry knows he’s among a small group of others, little children and their parents who are watching and laughing at the inpromtu sock puppet performance Louis is putting on at the children’s request. “It’s been so long” the children say as the plead for Louis to do this until he agrees, some parents concede, giving up socks to the cause. 

Everyone watching Louis do a make-shift show are quickly enthralled. The only one more delighted than the children by the silly story Louis makes up about his sock critters is a Harry. Critters describes the puppets because one sock given to the cause by a dad had two holes in the heal. After much poking fun at the man for being too busy with important things to buy himself new socks, Louis made use of that particular sock to make the critter have two fingers for ears so to suggest the puppet was bunny-like. 

In fact Louis used this puppet creation to segway into incorporating a song. A kid’s song. Harry didn’t know it before but the obviously children do. 

Louis begins by having the maroon color, sock with toe holes that his fingers are popping through say to the other sock puppet “You know what? I think I’m a bunny,” 

The other sock puppet says in a squeaky, child-like voice, “What?” 

“I think I’m a bunny.” Says the character of Sock Bunny. “I think I’m a bunny.” States Sock Bunny again followed by Louis beginning to sing “I thinks I’m a bunny” three more times in character of Sock Bunny. This has the children screaming with excitement because it’s some song they are clearly very familiar with. 

Then Louis other sock-hand does a contrasting child-pitched speaking voice to aurgue to differ, “But you’re not a bunny, you’re a monster,” 

“I think I’m a bunny!” Sock Bunny sings his insistence. 

Child Sock aurgues logic. “You’re not a bunny. Bunnies aren’t purple,” insists the Sock Bunny which leads to a series of back and forth on that subject between the two puppets. 

“I think I’m a bunny,” 

“You’re not a bunny.” 

“I think I’m a bunny,” 

“You're not.” 

“I think I’m a bunny, I think I’m a bunny, I think I’m a bunny, I think I’m a bunny,“ 

“No, you’re not.” 

“I think I’m a bunny,” 

“I don’t think you’re right,” 

“I think I’m a bunny, I think I’m a bunny,” 

“You’re not a bunny!” 

Louis hands do a flourish to signal that he has opened up the song to the audience who know the next words, a chorus. All the kids and a few adults join in to sing the next part. “You’re a monster, you’re a monster, you’re a monster, monster, monsterrrr,” 

Back to Louis he says, “but I might be a bunny, you know I could be a bunny, yeah, I think I’m probably a bunny, ‘cause you know I got these long ears you know, sometimes I like to have a carrot or something,” 

As Harry is delighted watching this the ‘carrot or something’ has him blush because yes, yes, Louis did suggest back at the flat that Harry should use a rather long, fat carrot to...um... right. Back to lyrics of the song Harry, tells himself. 

Once again Louis throws the song back to the audience for a chorus. It’s a different chorus. The crowd sings “Fury and, fury covered with purple fur, fury and fury covered with the color purple,” 

Louis takes up with their line singing “fury and I think I’m purple,” at the end of that chorus befor taking back the lead. 

Next Sock Bunny says “Okay so if I’m not a bunny than what am I?” 

Harry’s mind has an immediate answer. He’s fucking adorable, Louis that is, not the puppet. But Louis doing this little musical play with socks for all these people is totally, unbelievably adorable! Why has Hath not ever realized that? It’s so innocent and Louis is thriving on it. The kids, the adults thriving on this too. 

Child Sock squeaks in frustration, “But you’re not a bunny, you’re a monster!” 

Sock Bunny says, “Yeah, yeah, I know, I know you keep saying that, but if I’m not a bunny than what am?” 

“You’re maybe not a bunny but you got to not care about that.” 

“But I do care about that” Sock Bunny says then Louis begins to have Sock Bunny sing “I think I’m a bunny” 

“Please don’t say that!” Shouts the Sock Child, “You’re not a bunny! 

Everyone is laughing at how good Louis is doing this battle of wills between the pretend bunny-monster puppet and the all to reasoned-child character puppet. 

Sock Bunny repeats again and again and again in song that It thinks it’s a bunny. Following that Sock Child states, “You are definately NOT a bunny!” 

“I think I’m a bunny, yeah!“ 

“No, you’re not a bunny.” 

The audience picks up their part without need of a cue, singing, “You’re a monster, you’re a monster, you’re a monster, monster, monsterrrr,” 

After the crowd sings that part Louis makes his Sock Bunny suggest without song “You know maybe I’m a really special kind of bunny, one with purple fur, long purpley ears, and you know just an overall good disposition and everything, you know,” To finish this he once again sings, “I think I’m a bunny!” 

“YOU ARE A MONSTER!” Shouts Sock Child before the knowing audience repeats in song the part about “fury and purple”. Louis joins them in song the final repeat then takes it away singing, “fury and I think I’m purple,” 

It ends then with the disputing Sock Child giving up apparently, hugging the Sock Bunny. Needless to say the audience is crazy with applause. It was like to these families who have seen Louis do this sort of thing before think he’s some kind of a rock star. Harry needs to break up the request for Louis to do another song as it’s after five. Louis has about ten kids piling onto him laughing singing bits of the Bunny Monster song to him, pleasing for more. Some parents are trying to put their very affectionate kids in check who are all over Louis as they wrestle with him on the grass where he had someone’s buggy as a stage, but Louis being swarmed by kids is the most happy Harry’s seen him since maybe before Aiden was murdered. 

Harry let’s parents break up the mayhem, thank Louis, after the crowd thins Harry gets Louis’ attention about the time. The last few children are parted from Louis by parents who say they should go. Louis looks at Harry with a sparkle in his eyes that says today the world is hopeful. There’s nothing of what Hath did to him. It’s such freedom from the suffering it almost has Harry wanting to take Louis back to the flat and have that go around at christening the other bed. 

A text from Patti to Harry’s phone suggest that will have to wait. “Louis isn’t answering his phone. Presuming you’d might like to stay on for dinner when you lads get back, so please do. Will you be long?” 

Harry texts her back. “At the park. Saw the old team. Louis wasn’t answering because he just was doing a puppet show here. Did you know how beautifully he sings? We’ll be back around 6:30 or 7. Thanks for the invite...again. Need me to pick up anything?” 

Patti replies no, “but we have a surprise planned to celebrate his wellness checkup. Be here at precisely 7 please!” 

*** 

Maybe Louis didn’t notice extra cars parked around when they got back at precisely 7 because he couldn’t stop looking down at his ankle. Harry isn’t bothered by the quietness Louis displayed when they drove back because he knows Louis is amazed at how perfect the restored anklet is better than Louis imagined. He’s happy. He’s almost completely free for the first time in years. 

They get out the guitar, go in the front door and dim lights go on full and a room of people yell “Surpise!” 

Patti has arranged a surprise party to celebrate the good news. The house is decorated with balloons, streamers, confetti is shot, a big spread of food is strung throughout the house. Present at the home is all the team that Louis and Harry saw earlier, obviously they were going to give the jersey to Louis at this, and the various other friends, Liam, Zayn, Niall and the three brothers as well as Aiden’s parents. 

Grayson, as per usual has to give Louis a welcoming when it’s his turn that is physical, hair ruffling, almost too rough though Louis likes it, also as usual with the two of them. 

Before Harry can ascertain it’s source a glass of champagne is put in his hand. It may have been by Soren who also comes around to Louis when everyone has finished their hugs and short greetings and five Louis a small pour glass of champagne. 

Champagne in hand, Aiden’s father gets everyone’s attention for a toast. 

“Friends and family, as we raise our glasses in celebration of the good news about Louis’ health, I want to also share some other very good news,” 

Harry closes his eyes and prays as the toast is being made; please say Hath has been brought to justice. Please.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The song ‘I Think I’m a Bunny’ is by Todd McHatton. 
> 
> If you don’t know it go to YouTube and view the video. If after that you don’t see how Real Louis would absolutely do something for Ernest and Doris is like described with fictional Louis using this song then I will give up ever trying to write fluff! 
> 
> This is a complete work of fiction and by referencing these artists I do don’t suggest they endorse this work.


	36. Chapter 36

The toast begins with Harry so hopeful, he stares at Louis as the cause for celebration is shared.

“...so today I got a letter from the Univeristy regarding a meeting last week where me and several of the tutors who’ve worked with Louis over the years in which we were advocating for his prospective acceptance to enroll. The letter says that the admissions believe that they can welcome Louis to begin courses in next the term. In fact based on Louis’ compositions that the one tutor submistted they are considering Louis for a merit scholarship...”

This is great news. It’s not the news Harry was hoping for. Looking at how Louis is accepting to pats of the back from friends with a smile but not exuberance it’s clear Louis is disappointed too. Hath is still at large, maybe able to drag on successfully avoiding extradition for years given his wealth and skill in legalese. 

Harry circuitously works his way around to Louis where some of the conversation with him and friends after the toast is to inquire what he might want to study. Harry hears Louis say he was expected to study law but he was intersted in education, maybe literature, he knows he’d like to work with kids.

After what Harry witnessed today in the park it is clear that Louis belongs with children. He’s gifted with children.

Several hours later, Harry’s heard the same questions repeated. Same answers. Soren, Grayson and Beck seem as much like proud parents of Louis on this occasion as do their parents, at any given time one member of Aiden’s family is next to Louis, an arm around him with loving admiration and doting encouragement dripping from them. Under the surface of happy about the news Harry senses Louis is terribly worried. Several times Louis looses his train of thought like he’s thinking of something else.

By the time some people are leaving Soren and Grayson suggest Beck either have them drive him to his flat of he stay the night in his old room because he’s been drinking sort of heavily compared to most other guests. Louis is sitting on a couch between Zayn and Liam. This is the first time he hasn’t been flanked by one of the family. It’s looks like the two secret lovers are having a serious conversation with Louis. Maybe they too see his slightly diminished happiness for the academic news.

Hearing Beck has decided to stay at his parents because he doesn’t live near his brothers, doesn’t want to inconvenience them, Harry offers to drive Beck home. The question asked, how much has Harry been drinking?

Harry admits, he’s had quite a few too. With this Soren says that perhaps they both should be driven home or there are several rooms in the large house, just don’t drive.

***

In the middle of the night Harry wakes. He takes a few seconds to recall he’s not at his. He stayed at the Visser’s. He’s got a headche from the alcohol so he gets up, pulls on some boxers and goes to see if there’s anything in bathroom he can take for his pain. Since Louis came to the Visser’s to live he been sleeping in Soren’s former room, unable to go into Aiden’s. Beck was sleeping in his old room leaving Harry with the use of Grayson’s former room. 

As Harry walks down the dark hall he passes Beck’s room. It has a door partially open, some dim light is on, like Beck was suffering the same drink induced dehydration or headache too, maybe restless as well. 

However as Harry passes the open door he sees that there are two people in the bed. It’s Louis and Beck. 

Harry stops. He’s hard to see because it’s dark in the hall, but sure enough Louis is there; Beck appears to be holding him. Harry’s sure his back is being stabbed because he feels such pain at this sight. This is when Beck gets up, he was sleeping nude too so there’s all of his glory to see. He seems to have a semi, this gives Harry more phantom pain. Are Louis and Beck?

Surprisingly Beck reaches back to the bed to gather Louis in his arms finally giving Harry some clue of the nature of things, “Sorry Sweetie, maybe let me take you back to your bed now okay. I know you think I smell like him, but this is not a healthy thing. Maybe I can tuck you in with Harry.”

Harry is standing there in shock when Beck comes out of the room carrying a sleepy Louis in his arms. 

“Harry?”

“Beck.”

Beck has no sign of this as odd. He gives clear indication its not awkward for him by simply pushing Louis into Harry’s arms. As they exchange Louis who stays very sleepy or asleep, Beck downgrades the situation from what Harry thought it was. 

“You take him, will you? Can’t have my baby brother’s fiancé getting in my bed and cuddling with me like that. It’s weird. I’m not even into guys but he makes straight seem stupid when he presses his little body into a guy. You’re into him, aren’t you giving him some?”

Now that Harry has Louis in his arms he hasn’t got is a clue how to say this. He isn’t “giving Louis some”. Earlier today he developed his first case ever of not being able to perform THAT with Louis and refused him. 

“Give him some... you mean dick?” Harry isn’t meaning to be so obtuse but he’s got an annoying feeling that Beck would be happy to bend that straight lifestyle for Louis because that semi says it’s not weird the cuddle, it’s arousing. But Harry got to admit. He has guilt and his own issues. 

“Yeah, bro, what wrong with you? Haven’t you been into him like forever? You do know Aiden was totally aware of that, how Harry Styles the gorgeous, well hung escort had huge heart of puppy love for Louis, bigger than his huge dick. Why else would he bring you into this horrible life Louis has been stuck with. You do know we all know, me, my brothers, my parents, my, Aiden’s teammates.... question is why is Louis sneaking into my room when your right here near by?”  


Harry hasn’t got an explanation for that. Or does he but he’s embarassed to admit it. He put Louis off. Louis didn’t like it. Just like Louis didn’t like it when a very young Louis thought he was ready more from Aiden, but Aiden was afraid Louis was too young. 

“Just not sure it’s really safe.” Harry says. 

Beck gets an exasperated tone. “It’s called a condom. Don’t you buy those by the ton?” 

“I’m not in that business anymore, and yes, I did buy them by the ton...it’s just for me, us, right now I’m afraid he’s too delicate right now too. Louis wanted it when we were alone earlier but I wouldn’t do it. I think, I...think he’s still too fragile. You know Aiden went through that with Louis too. He wanted to take it slow. In that way me an him are the same we both have fears about hurting Louis.” 

Harry’s worries he over-stepped things by comparing himself to the deceased brother. Aiden lead a stellar life. He was a person of many accolades and far too promising a young man to be murdered. Harry. Well Harry is just a retired whore. 

“I’ve heard this before. Aiden always wrestled with the conflict, the difference between what he thought was best for Louis, and what Louis himself wanted. But I know since Louis came here to live I got to know some about you. Louis told me the most explicit details of things. How his father got you involved. How careful you have been with him. How when you kiss him, or do whatever he kinda feels like it’s Aiden acting through you. He told me he was afraid having you around would get you killed too. I think he’s getting confused by feelings about you when he still loves my brother. And he’s constantly afraid Hathaway has a way to get to him. Or you. Tonight my mum made sure he took a sleeping pill. He hates doing that. Don’t know why. So he came into my room to talk until he fell asleep. All he did was talk about you. How wonderful you are, how gorgeous. How lovely you were today doing these nice things for him. Spending money you shouldn’t because you wanted to make him feel better. So Harry. It seems he needs you. Just take care of him, will you.” 

With that Beck goes back into his room. Before he closes the door Harry gets a great look at all of him. These Hemsworth clones, very, very nicely built. 

When Harry gets Louis into his bed he’s tempted to do it with Louis even though the sleeping pill has taken full afffect and Louis is beyond waking. He doesn’t. He trusts his instincts. 

*** 

When Harry wakes with sunlight brightening to room he extracts himself from the bed cautiously as this involves slipping free from Louis’ arm and leg that are laying across him. At some point he became a body pillow to Louis. He’d love to stay there to watch Louis sleep but he has to pee and he’s not sure how Louis will feel being in the bed other than the one he chose. 

Closing the door to Grayson’s room quietly to not wake Louis, his clothes in one hand, Harry goes to the bathroom. Clearly Beck is up and he’s just left the bathroom because it’s still warm and steamy. 

Wanting to put on fresh clothes Harry decides he’ll, shower back at his. He dresses, goes to the main floor where Patti has got food cooking, the smell of coffee and bacon waft through the air and he’s unable toleave without saying thanks. He joins Beck and Patti in breakfast after the good-morning greetings are exchanged. 

Did he sleep well Patti asks. Teasingly Beck echos, “Yes Harry, how was your s l ee e p?” 

Patti gives her son a cross look and kicks him slightly under the table. 

“Good, I slept good. What’s going on with Louis though? He’s always tired, last night Beck said you made him take something? He left his room, Soren’s room. Slept in mine.” 

Patti seems undaunted by this. “So the doctor sent the report over to us from yesterday. It said he was still concerned that Louis isn’t sleeping. Last night I made him take a half dose of a sleeping pill. Louis finally gave me an explanation why the push back on taking them. Apparently when he’d gone to the hospital the time before, back when he was sixteen, they sent him home with some sleeping pillsto help get through the first few roughest weeks. From that he has a bad history. That monster would go after him in his sleep. He’s afraid if he’s soundly sleeping he’ll wake to that. It’s quite frightening to think of, but then Louis said he is even afraid of sleep that’s not induced. Poor thing. I think he likes to have someone sleeping with him to keep him safe.” 

*** 

Harry gets a call from Louis when he’s back at his flat having left after breakfast with Patti and Beck. 

Louis sounds is so very worried when he calls. 

“You left this morning without saying goodbye...” it’s an open-ended statement. 

“I did. You were still sleeping. Surely Patti told you I’d call later. See what you’re up to.” 

“So you’re not mad? How’d I get in Grayson’s room?” 

“No, I’m not mad. Why would I be mad? Beck brought you to me when you fell asleep.” 

“Oh. Okay. I’m so can you come by later? I mean soon, or I can come to yours.” 

“Sure, of course. I just got home so I’m going to shower. Then I’ll come get you or hang there. Whatever.” 

Louis says okay but he still sounds sadder than Harry likes. Harry assures him. “Louis you know I can’t blame you for being afraid of being alone. Or needing a warm person next to you, right? I don’t own you.” 

“Harry you’re amazing. And I don’t want just any person next to me. I may have been a brat yesterday when after the thing I wanted another thing. I know everyone probably thinks I’m mental as fuck with everything that’s happened. But with you I feel like we have this connection. Like we both had crappy experiences starting at about the same age and so we can understand each other. I went to Beck’s room last because he smells like Aiden. I miss Aiden’s scent. He feels like Aiden. So if my eyes are closed, it feels like him. Their voices are very similar. But Harry when you kiss me, it feels like Aiden, you touch me the same way. You, well, when you do things to me like he wrote you a manual of how to make me feel good. I’m not saying this because I want you to be like him in all ways. I like how your are different. I loved his body, but I have to say I hint yours is incrediable. Perfect. If you make love to me it won’t be the same, it will just be Harry. How Harry feels. Not some mix of Harry and Aiden. I want that. I want you Harry. I’m sorry I got in the wrong bed last night. I was being a twat. Pissy, immature twat. If you come see me today I promise going forward I’ll try to keep my sass on the pitch and out of our relationship. Promise me you won’t keep me on a pedestal where you eat me out or suck me off.” 

“Okay. Promise. No eating you out or sucking you off on pedestals.” 

Louis laughs. The sound of it frees Harry of all concerns. He promises he’ll come to the Visser’s once he’s freshen up. 

*** 

On his way back to Visser’s Harry goes by Ben’s office. His first question, how is Caesar? Ben reports that Caesar is good. Like everyone he’d love for Hathaway to be brought back to the UK, other hand that he’s okay. Lucky to be alive, embarrassed he was so stupid as to run in to a situation that he should have used caution. 

“Harry I’m sure you’re visit is for checking in on the special project. I haven’t got anything. Conclusive but I did find one thing promising. Given when Louis was born, the 24th of December I looked back on where Jay was ten months before that, where Jay was living, working, associates. What is interesting is that she was doing some humanitarian work in Africa. She was with a charity group who had me doctors and nurses, various people helping in a region that had no services establish a medical center. She worked their as a volunteer for four months. During that time she would have conceived. She was working with many groups, charity alliances. The group she was with has no one on their roster who fits the bill for a father. Now I’m trying to get the other organizations to give me names of their staff and volunteers who overlapped while Jay was there. Sooner or later we will find him.” 

“How long will this take?” Harry asks. 

“Don’t know. Organizations don’t give this information out without a reason. I try to get someone who has the data to give to me for a price. We don’t have a legal reason to ask the court to demand it. So with the group Jay was with I found an older woman who I told a tragic story to about Jay and the child born out of wedlock. She went for that and after wouldn’t take the bribe. Sometimes people want to help. They just need a reason why.” 

Ben offers more assurance. “We’ll find him Harry. Once we do we will learn why the lack of support. Did he know? Maybe not? Was he a good man? What if he wasn’t, what if it was rape? There are a lot of what-ifs. For certain we don’t want to cause Louis anymore harm by negative associations. Be patient Harry. There were many groups overlapping on this project while Jay as there. I will find him. For now you try to look after Louis. It’s not likely Hathaway is going to come back and turn himself in. I suspect he had connections in Greece. I wouldn’t give him any leeway that he made that exit with some assurances.”


	37. Chapter 37

Harry arrives back at the Visser home. Patti answers the door. 

“Back so soon! Louis will be thrilled. He looks better today. No so much puffiness under his eyes. He spent the morning telling me about your little surprises yesterday, the jewelry store, the music store. In fact he’s out back in the garden with the guitar, go, go join him,” 

That is no sooner said than Patti realizes something that she adds, “Oh wait, Harry. I almost forgot.”

She gets her handbag and begins to search. Finding what she searches for she turns to hand Harry a set of keys. “Since you’re here so much I thought it would be easier to give you a set of your own keys to the house. This way you can come and go as you like. I know Louis says you have a new flat and it’s every nice but might as well have freedom when it comes to seeing Louis here. I’ve given you keys to all the exterior doors. The blue one is for the front door. There’s a security code for the alarm system. It’s the same code at every door. Usually we don’t use alarm system much, but with Louis here, that monster on the loose, you understand. The code is simple, 0201. Got it?” 

Harry laughs. “Yes, yes, 0201. Who put that number in?”

“Louis. We had Louis enter a number he could easily remember.”

After that Patti shoos Harry off. Before Harry gets out the back door he hears the sound of the guitar. 

Giving his heart a flutter Harry makes he’s way to where Louis is sitting, guitar in hand. He’s concentrating so he doesn’t see Harry until Harry is nearly upon him. When he does he stops, looks up, and yes, “fuck” Harry thinks. Louis looks beautiful. Refreshed. 

Patti is right his eyes look the least shadowed underneath that Harry has seen since before the hospitalization. His smile that he’s greeting Harry with is t h a t smile. The one for Harry. 

“Hiya.” Louis says. “This guitar is awesome, really really nice. Better than my broken one actually. Thank you again.”

Harry sits near Louis as close as the guitar allows. He enjoys looking at all the little details about a rested Louis. Louis follows Harry’s “you’re welcome” with his thoughts.

“By the way, I can pay you back for it. Patti told me today they’ve set up an allowance for me so I have my own money to spend. So I can pay you back,” Louis stops the tuning related fusing he was song while he said that to look Harry in the eyes directly, another smile, a ‘Harry-smile’, he continues, “or, or I can take my boyfriend out for dinner...”

Louis blushes when he suggests this to Harry. Once again Harry’s heart seems to flutter. Louis has to be the cutest thing ever in his suggestion of paying for a date. 

“You want to take me out? On a date? And pay for it?” Harry’s almost laughing. It’s so sweet. And romantic. 

“Where would we go? Payne’s?”

“Where ever you want Harry. I’d go anywhere with you.” Louis says that and is playing a song on the guitar now. 

Louis doesn’t say it but Harry knows Louis’ playing so he can use the song as an excuse to look at the neck of the guitar instead of Harry’s eyes. Louis doesn’t need to look at the guitar to play it. His fingers know where the frets are, what the chords are. He’s more than proficient at guitar. He’s just not proficient at being freely independent to make plans like normal seventeen-year-olds do in the free world. He’s never had an expense account. 

“Louis I think the allowance is meant for other things, don’t you? I don’t need you to pay for us to go out. Listen to me on this Louis. I haven’t been a fool with my money. Sure I wear designer original suits, shoes, expensive things. Do you think I pay for these? My clients did. My jewelry, Bethany was sweet to say I’m her best client but do I pay for these? No. Furthermore, Louis I never spent a dollar that I didn’t put exponentially more into my investments. I’m not poor. I’m retired from the other work. When I resume my career after my studiesi will still have money to live off of. I going to be fine. We, we Louis, you and me, will be fine.”

Louis is playing the guitar and not looking but his body reveals him. His face flushes. 

He doesn’t stop the playing or risk to look at Harry. Harry senses that Louis can’t. “Okay but I still want to take you out, like a proper boyfriend. Beck said he can get me a fake id so I can order Champagne. Or something. But we can’t tell his parents because they only want ‘their boys’ to drink at home in their house, company until of age. It’s an ‘Ambassador-thing’.”

Harry laughs at this. “Is he really an Ambassador?” 

Louis looks at Harry’s face, his lips, then away quick like it is too intense to do this for long. Tellingly, Louis licks his lips like he might like to have kissed Harry. “Yeah, I know. They joke, Soren, Grayson, Beck, that they think their father might use ‘Ambassador’ as a cover and he’s a super elite spy, like MI6. It’s the only explanation for how he is always so chill, about everything.”

With that Harry and Louis both laugh. Then Louis plays the guitar with full attention like to take the conversation opportunity down. 

Harry leans back and listens. He knows this song. It’s by The Script. Louis plays it beautifully.

***

Harry stayed on through dinner having spent most of the day getting to listen to Louis play guitar, alternating with the two of them sharing their thoughts with each other about Uni. Louis has an apppoinment to meet with some professor of literature the next day. The professor is interested in Louis’ aptitude in writing which he described in his review of materials from the tutors as “keenly creative”. Also the professor is the individual in charge of the English Studies Department Merit Awards to incoming students. Harry offers to take Louis for the meeting which Patti accepts because Louis also wants to go by the park after, maybe play some footie, and she has a busy afternoon. 

*** 

The next day when Harry arrives to take Louis, using his key for the first time to enter, chuckling at the fact they Louis chose his birthday as the alarm code. Once in the front door Harry finds that Louis has already sat beside the front door both his guitar case and a new gear bag with his football gear. 

Patti passes through the main room on her way from kitchen to her home office. Seeing Harry is there she says good morning, “and last time I was upstairs Louis was still getting dressed. I think he can’t decide what to wear.” Her tone suggests she’s got some humor about this having raised four boys. Her next statement confirms it. “People always think girls are trouble when it comes to attention to their appearance, but I think boys can be just as bad sometimes. Be a dear Harry and see if you can’t help him out. My husband suggested he dress like he’s going for a job interview and that has Louis totally freaked out.”

Sure enough based on the number of clothes laying on the bed, half of them inside out from being tried on and then hastily removed, it’s clear that Louis is having a fit. He’s got jumpers (too hot for late summer), jackets (some too trendy), shirts of all sorts everywhere. The only thing he seems settled on his his choice of pants. He’s wearing a dressy looking pair of black jeans that fit his body very tightly. For the most part Louis is topless, because he’s either putting on or stripping off a nice looking pullover, which is how Harry finds him stopped with it just on his forearms as if he’s still considering whether it’s right or not.

“Can I give you a hand?” Harry says. God, he thinks. Why does Louis’ bare chest always stike him as so ideally twinkish. It’s architectural perfection when Louis’ collarbones are exposed. His little torso has some ribs that show making him a delicate looking thing and with such small nipples his form just screams suck on these please. His these shoulders say kiss us. Bite these breasts between kisses when lips are roaming along the transact of this body.

Seems like Harry can’t control himself because before Louis has finished saying “Hi Harry”, Harry has used Louis’ arm-trap created by the shirt to simply push Louis back onto the bed, coming over him such that his pelvis makes the arm-trapping shirt a very effective one. Thus pinned, Louis can do nothing but take it as Harry begins his fantasy. Kissing collarbones, little nibbles on breast before sucking on a nipple, making Louis wiggle under him, giggle and sort of fuss about it too because finding the right clothes has him frustrated. 

Louis tries to express this but Harry’s mouth travels up his neck nibbling over skin, along his jawline with nuzzles and then in for a deeply tongue-invested kiss until the small form under Harry surrenders and kisses back. 

Once Louis is passified by all the kissing Harry slips back and off him stripping away the once arm-trapping shirt and says, “So what’s the problem? If you want to impress go as you are. Sort of wish we had time to stop and get you a nipple piercing that would perfect the look, but this is good, really good.”

Louis throws a shirt from beside him playfully hitting Harry in the face.

“Some help you are. It was suggested I dress like for a job interview but I’ve never had a job. Or an interview. The jumpers are too hot. Same with a suit. Sort of don’t want to walk across campus looking like some nerd from Department of Mathematics. So do want to help or continue to suck marks into my skin so I’m sure to make a bad impression?”

Harry extends his hands to lead Louis off the bed. “I’m sorry Boo. Let’s have a look shall we?”

Harry begins to search through the closet. He wonders. “Where are your other clothes? I saw you in this shirt one time, it’s was very pretty on you. A blue one...”

“These are new.” Louis says. “I haven’t been back to the house since you rescued me. Patti and me went shopping so everything is new.”

Harry searches on. He finally sees something he likes because the cut of the button up short sleeve shirt is very Louis. It’s more fitted than most menswear. He pulls it out. “Try this one.”

Louis puts the shirt on, begins buttoning it. Then rolls the sleeves a couple turns so it makes a cut on his biceps which emphasize the sculpted nature of his arms. “Is that too casual? If I do that?”

“No, no,” Harry says as he proceeds to finish buttoning the top most button, “but the look needs something. What shoes are you wearing? And a belt? Do you have shoes and belt that match?” 

Louis reaches in the closet to get a pair of brown dress shoes. They are nice, but Harry doesn’t see a belt so he picks along some things that are in the closet from when Soren was still at home. It’s a mix of things, likely from when Soren was young that never got passed on. Harry sees some braces, black. Perfect.

“Okay try these.” Harry starts to dress Louis with them, he finds himself attaching them at the back where he is confronted with the well fitted shape of Louis’ bum in the jeans. “Oh god Louis is the professor in for some wet dreams.”

“Harry! Stop it! You’re not making this better. It’s like an interview. About merits of my academics! I’m not trying to date him, just impress him I can be a good student. Are you fucking crazy? Not everyone is gay you know.”

Harry sits on the bed a smirk on his face. He so likes the look of Louis especially now that his face is flushed even though it’s because of rage. Harry can imagine Louis being bent over a desk, where Dr Styles becomes Professor Styles and he “assesses Louis’ merits”.

“Louis, calm down. I’m fucking with you because you’re going to be fine. Just fine. And don’t worry if they don’t give you a scholarship. I can help you with paying for school.”

Louis turns away to look in the mirror. “First, you don’t have to keep trying to pay for things for me. And secondly, you think this looks okay? Really?”

Harry stands again and slips Louis into his arms. “Simply perfect.” He sort of can’t resist. He has to add. “But are you going to wear your hair like that?”

This sends Louis into a fun-loving fight where he grabs as many clothes as he can from the discard pile on the bed and begins throwing them all at Harry. 

***

Louis chose to wear the shoes with no socks and the hems rolled so his ankles show. It does sort of send a message about his sexuality. Harry sees the way other students they pass look at them. It’s summer session so most of the students at the campus are serious students. The type who stay for summer internships, research, extra classes so they can get through school faster than their peers. 

For these serious, delicated student-types to take note of them says something about their appearance. Just to remove any doubts, Harry’s hand seeks Louis’. Slipping the small one in his Harry discovers Louis has sweaty palms. He’s nervous. 

They find the office with no problem because Harry has been learning campus since he’s enrolled for the fall session. He doesn’t want to seem lost on his first day. When they sit outside the professor’s office in awaiting area while he is in a meeting with some other student Louis starts to nibble on his fingernails. Harry’s has just told Louis to stop it, that it’s a bad habit that Louis probably picked up from Niall, when the door opens. A young woman student is saying thanks to the professor for his help as she exits the office while the man steps to the door to invite the prospective student, Louis, he expects to meet with next.

The professor and Harry both get a surprise. It’s evidenced by how he sort of drops off the name as he’s saying “Louis Tomlinson...” and studders out the name “...Harry?”

Harry stands as does Louis. Louis sees how the two know each other. He sort of looks questioningly between them because while Harry seems like normal Harry the man sort of blushes and looks somewhat nervous, surprised. He introduces himself to Louis. 

“Mr Tomlinson, I’m Professor Doran. Please to meet you and discuss your application to the school.”

Harry makes a funny smile. He’s chewing gum and unlike Louis he’s made no effort to dress exactly proper. He still carries himself as the escort with his sex-on-legs suggestive style, his shirt unbuttoned more than buttoned. His skinny jeans ripped with the emphasis for showing his nice legs, his small but perky bum.

“Doran, is it Professor? Funny because back when you were a regular the name was always Stone, wasn’t it. Tomas Stone. So is it Tomas Doran or is the first name an alias too, P r o f e s s o r?”

Harry notes this makes Louis distinctly uncomfortable, the professor too, but Harry kind of finds it humorous. People are always so embarrassed to be who they are. Like many other former clients of Harry’s, Tomas always paid in cash, even for their expenses out like at dinner or a hotel he used the untraceable form of paying in cash. So the lie about his name is no surpise. 

“Um, yes, it’s Tomas. Tomas Doran. I’m sorry to have deceived you but I really didn't think it mattered. What did matter was that the word didn’t get out. Me. With, um, you.”

Harry does the biggest fake smile and takes a seat again. “Don’t sweat it. I figured you were married or something. Your behaviors fit that. Besides, most men don’t want to be seeing me at the office, it’s a career breaker. I get it.”

Louis looks a little ghostly pale from Harry’s bold disrespect but the professor gives him an invitation to join him in the office. As soon as the door is closed Harry gets out his phone and flips through the roster of professors and other teaching staff. He looks up Doran’s accolades. A man as successful as him should be careful. He could have a lot on the line. 

About 45 minutes later Louis opens the door. He’s got papers in hand a small book. He looks happy like it went well. Doran comes through the door too and has got a more composed presence. 

“When you get that read, give me a call and we’ll meet again. I’m really impressed Louis with your writing style. It’s prose that reads like poetry, or song lyrics. I think you could have a real future in literature. But let’s have a meeting after this book is read. We will talk through your interpretation of it. This will help me know if your foundation is a good as I think it is.”

Doran turns to Harry who’s stood and moved to the direction of the waiting room door. “Harry, it was a pleasure to see you. Surprising, but a pleasure. So are you still...”

“Givng head and getting fucked by men for a living?” Harry says boldly again. “No. No. I’m with one person now.” Harry puts his hand on the small of Louis’ back. Louis looks at Harry like he’s not bothered by Harry’s brutal verbal abuse because things went well despite the awkwardness of this encounter. “In fact I’m enrolled for classes here starting this fall. Maybe I’ll see you around.”

The professor sort of blushes and cast his eyes down for the escape of the effect of Harry’s comment on him. Louis gives the odd exchange an end by thanking the professor again, a handshake, then a goodbye. They get out of earshot when Louis gives Harry his thoughts.

“Cocky much Harry? Couldn’t let that last one go by?”

“No. No more than I can let it go by that I was right about you are going to be giving some professor wet dreams by just the looks of you. I bet you if he could have, he would rather give you a good dicking on his desk rather than homework to read. In fact I’m so sure that’s why I messed with him. I know he’s going to give you a wide berth now because he knows I will out him if he doesn’t.”

***

Louis is in hysterics reading short, randomly selected, passages of the book as Harry drives them toward the park. It’s hilarious because the main character in the book authored by Doran is a guy by the name of Stone. Only in the book Stone is the man’s first name. It’s still very amusing. Louis leaves Harry feeling like this another reason for them to make such a great match because in the limited read, here and there thought the book Louis gives Harry opinions he’s gleaming from being in the author’s head based on his writing. Louis has intuitively dialed in on Doran’s nature. This is remarkable because while Doran was successful at hiding his identity, he never was able to hide what kind of person he was. Louis can glean all that with reading a few passages here and there from in Doran’s work of fiction.

When the two near the park Harry suggests they have lunch first. He likes a bakery near there that has nice breads so they eat there, more details of the meeting with Doran are shared before they are on to the park.

It’s a fairly hot day. People are enjoy being out in the sun. Many of the kids at the park are wanting to play in sprinklers for the grass more than the structural gym apparatus park designers created for their play.

Harry and Louis find a place with some shade. Louis sits on the grass, gets out his guitar, which he’s brought along with his gear bag. 

Louis is playing softly while Harry is talking about a variety of things because Harry knows Louis is doing this sort of warm up thing he does when he’s trying to decide what he’s going to play first. It’s partly tuning the guitar, partly dabbing through some play list. He doesn’t have any sheet music with him today so Harry knows he’s going to play from memory. 

This playlist Louis pulls together Harry is memorizing too. At least the list of song titles. Later he wants to research the lyrics of each if he doesn’t know the song and analyze each song for significance. If Harry doesn’t know a song he asks Louis what it’s titled when Louis is done. In the course of playing a few things happen.

First Harry learns Aiden was a huge fan of nineties music. Much of Louis’ influence in what he plays is based on the songs Aiden liked. Secondly there is a swarm of kids forming again; this will clearly be an ongoing problem with being at the park where Louis is known and a kid-magnet. Louis is prodded by the children into playing songs they like, kids songs, and soon these groups of kids who change as time passes and some have to go have taken over Louis’ music direction. Louis likes it. Harry loves it, because Louis is singing. He also is treated in witnessing Louis’ silliest side as Louis often changes the lyrics deliberately to put the children into laughter.

The last thing Harry witnesses is a creepy thick guy. 

Loitering around in the park is this man, dressed like he’s not ever been to a park and for some reason he seems to be hanging around the perimeter of where Harry and Louis are. At first Harry noted he was strange because of his attire and his behavior was not typical of someone there to enjoy themselves. Then he disappeared, but a little later Harry realized he moved. He seemed to disappear again but only to be relocated again always not that far away, always not fully in view but where he can see this group of children with Louis at its center. 

Maybe it’s about the children. Harry thinks he could be one of the children’s fathers. Perhaps stalking his family to stay out of sight because his actions were peculiar by nature like he was not to be seen. By the time Louis decided to halt playing to the disappointment of the crowd, Creepy Thick Guy was again not In view. Harry’s relieved. He’s still not sure why he even noticed the man.

Louis gives Harry the guitar case as he grabs his gear bag so he can go change. Some lads have begun to show up across the green and it looks like a little informal game, or practice, is in the making. Louis heads off with his gear to a men’s locker room to change. Harry goes to put the guitar in the car, afterwards he goes to the locker room.

When he enters the locker room Louis has stripped down to just his underwear. The fitted type boxers look so nice on his full bum. Harry’s thinking about going for a squeeze before Louis gets more clothes on when something gives Harry a start. 

Off in a corner sitting on a bench, clearly sitting there for no reason other than a partion blocks Louis from seeing this person, is Creepy Thick Guy.

It’s obvious Louis isn’t aware of him. There are two doors for the locker room, he might have come in one without traveling past Louis but what is alarming is how Creepy Thick Guy he has a view through a set of mirrors to watch Louis withou Louis knowing. Harry feels the hair on his neck rise.

Harry tells Louis to get dressed while blocking Creepy Thick Guy. With his back to the man Harry hears the door on the far side of the locker room open and close. Harry decides not to say anything to Louis, making an excuse about hurrying Louis to get dressed for sake of keeping Louis unaware of the treat.

“If you don’t hurry and cover yourself I’m going to have to make you very late.” Harry says finding a place to kiss on Louis shoulder. 

“Feel free to make me late as you want Harry.” Louis says. “And sore too.”

Harry peels back. “Soon sweet cheeks, soon.”

***

During the play, a very informal game as there are fewer people than is required to field two full teams, Louis is happily bouncing around. Any chance he has to mess with someone he does. His mates mostly pat his bum, putting aside any real frustration even when it seems like he’s monkeying with them just to make the entire idea of practice useless. By the time they wrap it up everyone is making a plan for going to have post-practice pints. 

Might as well have a beer, Harry decides when Louis asks Harry about whether he wants to. Besides. Harry was watching two things during the practice. He watched the team. And he watched the Creepy Thick Guy. He was back. Like with the guitar playing Louis, the football Louis has the man’s disturbing interest.

Harry’s quite concerned. He’s texted Ben five times about it. Nothing back from Ben yet so going for a beer to see if this bloke gives up stalking is a good idea. Better than leading him to the Visser’s or his flat. 

***

The pub they go to is Niall’s favorite. Harry almost expects to see Niall there when he hears an Irish accent as they enter. It’s not Niall. The group claims a table in the back where there’s room for everyone. It’s by some pool tables. 

When the waiter brings some beers and waters everyone wants to order some food. Harry and Louis are going to dinner not so long off so they are just having a drink. A beer for Harry. Water for Louis. The writer realizes he forgot menus. Harry gives him the chance to circulate the remaining drinks by saying he’ll grab them from the bar at the front of the pub. 

Going to the front Harry gets a handful of menus and a look at none other than Creepy Thick Guy. He’s sitting at the bar. 

Harry gets back to the table to find Louis has moved. He is sat between Nathan and a guy named Cole. Cole is new to the team. He seems to like Louis a lot. He laughs at everything Louis says which is telling. Everyone asks if they should shift so Harry can get to sit beside Louis but Harry says no. What Harry doesn’t say is that he wants to sit where from the back room of the pub he can watch Creepy Thick Guy.

Harry does exactly that. He studies the man when he can. 

The guy has the look of a shadow. He’s nondescript. He could be anyone or no one. He’s thick. By that Harry notes the guy is not as tall as Harry, but he’s got a massive neck, weight in his core like the kind of weight that is for hand to hand strength. Everything about him says he could put another man down with his fists. Also it’s very clear now. He’s following Louis. 

Louis who is sitting among the lads having fun. Feeling happy and free like he deserves. There no Blue Bentley waiting for him to rush him home. There’s no abuse imminent, impending pain on his body. Just a perfect day. A promising tomorrow. 

Harry sees Louis steal a sip of beer first from Nathan’s pint, then Cole’s. They each slap his hand. Cole is learning Louis is part secret weapon and part mascot. Everyobody loves Louis. The way Louis’ team looks after him, even like not letting him drink alcohol, it’s adorable. Is it held over habits from when Aiden was The Protector? Or just that they know Louis is small, younger, tough on the surface but really a kitten. 

The food comes to the table. As the waiter sets it down Nathan uses distraction to snag Louis’ headband off his head that was keeping his hair up, away from his face during the game. In retaliation Louis dumps some sauce they brought for Nathan’s chips into Nathan’s lap. Another player defends Nathan by throwing a small piece of his bread across the table to hit Louis in the face. Louis gives him “the look” and a finger and everyone on the team exclaims “Ah, ah, ah! Don’t cross the Tommo! Lest he is small but he is Mighty!”

Everyone laughs. 

Life should be like this, Harry thinks. He also thinks that he and Louis really are a lovely match. Though it’s for different reasons, neither has had enough of like like this. Louis turns eighteen in December. Harry twenty in February. How different would they be if their teen years had been like this. Like a dream.

He knows he loves Louis like he’s never known anything else in this world. Did Aiden feel that too? How then was Harry appointed to this relationship by Aiden’s acceptance? Did Aiden know he was in peril? Was there a Creepy Thick Guy stalking him before he was murdered? 

Harry gets out his phone. Still no text from Ben. He has got a message from Patti. “Harry, Louis hasn't gotten back to me. I think he’s still getting adjusted to having a phone. He forgets to check it. I’m so anxious to know how it went earlier and what time you two will be back. Also Grayson is coming over. And he’s got a new girl, wants us to meet her.”

Harry gives her a reply. He’s sure to be subtle but he says quite specifically, because he means it, “...if the scholarship doesn’t meet my standards, if I think Louis isn't going to be treated properly, I will cover his education expenses.” 

Harry doesn't say in the text to Patti that he knows the professor, that he knows the professor is gay, that he likes pretty boys. Specifically that the professor likes bottoms. Harry stated only that he is going to look after Louis through it all. 

Harry hits send. The text thought-bubble goes on for a long time like Patti is reading his message and trying to know how to reply. Harry feels bad; texting is a shit format for context. This was a bad call for sending a message of significance. 

The reply comes. “Aiden would have wanted that. Harry you have a lovely heart and worldly intuition. See you later, P”


	38. Chapter 38

When Harry realizes the time, it’s approaching dinner hour, they leave the pub. He’s sure Louis has been sneaking sips from Nathan’s or Cole’s beers but Harry didn’t pay much attention to that. Instead he watched as the Creepy Thick Guy who left the pub right before Harry decided they need to go in order to get back to the Visser’s before they miss dinner. 

Louis is so gleeful as they leave about another really good day that Harry’s worry caused by Creepy Thick Guy is unnoticed by Louis. So goes unoticed by Louis how radically illogical Harry’s drive route to the Visser’s. Harry does this to be certain that they are not followed. 

Arriving to the house they enter; it sounds like, given how late they are, that the others are sat already for dinner. The surprise is on Harry and Louis when they walk into the dining room. 

There with the Ambassador, Patti, and Soren is Louis’ former music tutor, Eleanor. This is Soren’s new girlfriend.

Eleanor is lovely in her greeting of Louis who she hasn’t seen since early June. It is obvious that during the delay in Louis and Harry getting back to the house for dinner near there was this discovery of this connection between Louis and Eleanor. 

Soren addresses this recent discovery in his greeting of Louis and Harry.

When Soren leans in to hug Louis he whispers so quietly that only Louis and Harry can can hear him, “I had no idea before tonight that Eleanor had been working as one of your tutors. I hope this is not a problem for you Louis.”

Louis looks a little taken back but he recovers and polite as they join dinner table. Harry notes immediately that Louis remains somewhat quiet. 

By the time the dinner is nearly done it’s clear that both Louis and Harry may have eaten too many snacks at the pub. Their appetites are off. Louis merely plays with the food on his plate, pushing it around like his mind is somewhere else as he barely eats anything. Harry at least has presence of mind enough to be courteous and thankful for the dinner Patti made.

With the main course of dinner ending, a strange uncomfortable note in the air, Eleanor must come to a decision. She obviously decides to set the situation straight. 

“Louis,” Eleanor says, looking at Louis before she looks around at her boyfriend first, then his parents, Harry last before looking back at Louis, “I want you to know how sorry I am for being such a complete idiot and not seeing what was happening when I was employed at your home. I’m really, really sorry. It was inexcusable...”

Her comment seems fair. He apology sincere. Eleanor looks at Soren like to ask for his support. He nods, yet Soren stays sat back, he lets her go on if she so chooses. 

Eleanor looks distraught. She chooses to go on. “...But the point is, um, I want you to know that I would do anything to help you now.”

Louis’ disposition seems a little closed off to Eleanor's apology. Harry thinks that it’s because it might be painful for Louis to see her. Her or anything attached to his life since Jay died and he was alone with the monster. 

The painfully sensitive subject gets artfully switched by Patti who uses the convenience that everyone is waiting to know about the details at the meeting Louis had at campus. As Louis shares the details it is notable that he doesn’t ever look at Eleanor. 

At one point Eleanor must decide to try again to make amends. She takes a new approach. One based int the potential for Louis to have merit schloarship she goes on and on about how Louis’ skills in music are such that he should really consider a major in music. “In fact” she offers, “if the recommendations from tutors have been acceptable for the admissions requirements maybe I could speak to someone at the music department at university on your behalf too.”

Everyone receives her offer as the genuinely positive thing except for Louis. Harry notes how Louis does a little nervous rocking in his chair while looking down at his plate, not at Eleanor, while he dismisses her suggestion. 

“I’m not very good in music. I don’t think it would be my first choice of studies.” 

While everyone scoffs at the deprecating statement, throw out their examples about Louis’ talent to prove his statement to be far from accurate as they all know is the case, Louis just repeats. He’s not that good. 

Patti offers a compromise suggestion. “Louis keep all your options open. You don’t have to declare a major at the start. Many people desde once they get a term or two into school and have better idea about their options. If Eleanor wants to advocate for you, you should consider it.” 

Harry notifies how Louis says “okay” to Patti. He still doesn’t give Eleanor even a glance.

Harry’s thinking about any excuse he can create to get Louis away from what is an uncomfortable place when the Ambassdor decides he’s going to give his wife a hand with the dinner when he sees Patti starting to rise was like to start clearing the dinner plates in preparation for desert. 

“You let me take this, my love. You’ve done enough making such a fabulous meal. Why don’t you visit with our guest more. I’ll clear the plates and get the desert. You do want your usual coffee with that delicious looking cake you made, right?” 

This sweetness between a couple married so many years is not an act between them, not a show put on for impressing the new girlfriend. Troy Cisser is genuinely in love with his wife of many years. Troy begins by taking the plates from the ladies first as he requests, “Harry, give me a hand will you please.” 

Once they’ve cleared all the dirty dishes Harry puts some plates in the dish washer while the Ambassador gets out some desert plates then goes to start coffee. “Harry, I get that you’re as surprised as we all are to learn this girl is someone who is less than well received by Louis. I wanted to talk to you about something else regarding Louis, privately. It’s come to my attention that someone is skulking around where they should not be. Are you aware of this?” 

In the short time Harry has known Aiden’s father Troy Visser is a person who is always lost in his work-bubble-of-oblivion. Always working. Always relying on his very capable wife deal with all the life, family stuff, while he seems hardly ever aware of things outside of his work. Work which he never discusses. This though, this is telling that some of his bliss-like lack of awareness is an act. 

Harry’s glad to have him ask because Harry would love to know who this Creepy Thick Guy was, why he was following Louis, yet with the surprising insightfulness and uncharacteristic question, Harry’s first response is not about the creepy man. 

“What kind of ambassador are you?” 

Troy does a odd laugh. Then he asks another question. “Harry the man who survived after he was shot that night, he works for this man Ben Winston. Someone who is an associate of yours I believe. Is he doing something for you? Regarding Louis?” 

Visser knows all this. How does he know all this? Where the hell is Troy the ambassador to? Mystery Land? All the questions spin around in Harry’s head. 

“Wait. What? I thought you were, weren’t you...um, I thought you asking about someone who was following us today. What are you asking about Winston for?” 

“So Winston is a private investigator. He’s going deep into some history on Jay’s background. He’s got nothing to do with the man you saw today. That’s my doing. I’m sorry if he was indiscreet. Does Louis know?” 

“Does Louis know what? About the man today or about Ben’s project for me? And what is the story with the man today?” 

“Does Louis know you’ve got an investigation in process?” 

“He knows no more of that than he does about being followed. How does an ambassador get so flush on all these activities surrounding Louis? Where exactly are you the ambassador to? And what’s with the Creepy Thick Guy? I hired Ben to look for Louis’ biological father. I guess I’d like to know what the story is on that man.” 

Troy dodges the ambassador question. “I got a few connections. One of them said there was a communication between Hathaway, who is still in Greece, and someone here. It guaranteed that someone was going to make contact with Louis today. I went ahead a sent out a, an associate, to give Louis some protection. I gather you realize he gave up shadowing you and Louis about the time you had to get Louis home. Since the protection was there maybe he kept someone else away, if as you suggest, he stood out to you maybe he was too obvious to the threat.” 

“Oh he wasn’t obvious to anyone other than me even though he sort of stood out at the park. Very creepy standing behind trees, dressed wrong. Got me really a fucking worried when he showed up in the locker room when Louis was changing. Then he was at the pub. Alone. Not drinking a pint or anything one goes to a pub to drink. When was he first following Louis?” 

“Door to door, more or less. He followed you to the university. Bakery, park, pub where he got a text from me saying to leave since I presumed you would be coming here. He was to do a sweep of the area to see if anything seemed suspicious before you left.” 

Harry laughs with a scoff. “Suspicious, like a fucking creepy man coming everywhere we go.” 

The coffeemaker beeps signaling the brew is ready. Harry gets the plates for the cake. As Troy suggest they talk about this more later because Patti calls innto them asking if everything is okay. 

Returning to the dining room with desert, Harry gathers Louis’ frosty reception of Soren’s new love interest is still holding.

Louis’ demeanor still strange Harry takes a piece of cake for passing to Louis, swiping off some frosting to dab it on the end of Louis’ nose. 

Louis laughs for the first time since he saw Eleanor. Whispers to Harry sat beside him, “For that Harry, sure hope you know you will be needing to lick some frosting off something other than my nose later.” 

Harry smiles. A fantasy couldn’t be any sweeter.


	39. Chapter 39

As the hour grows later Harry would like nothing more than for Soren to take Eleanor and leave. It’s not that Eleanor is totally unlikeable but it’s because the presence of this young woman is nails on a chalk board to Louis even though he keeps it to himself. 

Soren and Eleanor finally leave after some lingering at the front door where they make plans. They'd like Soren’s parents to come over to Soren’s flat so Eleanor can cook for them. She claims to love cooking and Soren says she is quite the chef. 

Harry and Louis are in earshot but not in sight of them. Louis pulls a series of funny faces through the conversation they overhear which shows his distain for Eleanor. Harry can hardly contain his laughter as Louis’ is none too kind when he has the freedom to react naturally. 

Once the new couple is out of the house Patti offers Harry the option to stay over. He and Louis are in the living room, sitting on the couch. With the offer Louis encloses Harry arm closest to him in his arms hugging Harry’s limb, dropping his head to Harry’s shoulder, “He will stay, won’t you Harry.”

Harry agrees. He notes it looks like Troy wants to talk with him more. He too wants closure to their conversation.

“Harry”, Troy says going toward the kitchen, “why don’t you and I finish the kitchen cleanup. We should have a little talk.”

Louis laughs. “What talk? Are you having the talk about sex, a lecture on what to do so I don’t get pregnant or what?”

Troy laughs at Louis’ humorous suggestion. “But of course. But no.”

With that Harry goes with Troy. They no sooner get into the kitchen beginning to take care of desert plates, saucers and cups and get back to their interrupted conversation. 

When it’s finsihed between them Troy has a full disclosure of what Ben is looking for. He agrees the sensitivity to the findings is essential. He tells Harry he might be able to help. “You know. Being an Amabssador and all”. Harry is pretty sure he saw Troy wink. “I do have connections so if the problem is getting lists of personnel from various organizations, it’s easier for me to seek that information.”

Also concluded between them Creepy Thick Guy, or Walter, will stay on call. For now. Harry feels okay with this, particularly when Troy gives him a number to contact Walter at.

When Louis walks in to the kitchen they stop secret conference. Louis was on his way to shower before bed since he was still in his clothes from playing in the heat earlier and feeling post-play scuzzy. 

Louis goes to shower, Patti comes in, the conversation goes to Harry’s sleep over.

***

Harry accepts the offer to stay. In fact Harry gets a little talk from the Visser’s about he and Louis and sex. Obviously is not the safe sex talk. It’s more of an acceptance that the two of them have both had so much in their lives that’s wrong. The Visser’s want Harry to know their home is a safe place for them and place of no judgements. Just be careful with Louis, they gently warn. He’s still very fragile and it’s clear he still mourns for Aiden. The entire family does. 

As Harry heads upstairs to the floor of bedrooms he is impressed at how remarkably loving Aiden’s parents, brothers, are. How understanding and compassionate. It’s makes him get a feeling that comforts him; Harry imagines his family would have been like the Vissers. Or so he wants to believe.

Harry doesn’t go to the room he was using the last time he stayed over. He goes to Louis’.

When Louis comes to the room he’s got just a towel around himself, his dirty clothes in his arm. He sees Harry laying on his bed and Louis has an instantaneous broad smile.

He drops his clothes. 

Then his towel.

Harry lays there saying nothing while a hungry look grows on Louis’ face. His eyes stay on Harry’s hand.

Harry is lying there naked. His hand is pumping his dick. His dick is strong and stiff with his arousal and anticipation of Louis.

Louis comes to the foot of the bed. Doesn’t hide his interests as he licks his lips as he begins to crawl up from the foot of the bed to Harry, over Harry with his legs straddling on either of Harry’s. 

Harry has nothing to say. He just smiles. He loves the way Louis’ eyes show his hunger. His lips get one last wetting lick before he makes Harry let his hand take over and then Louis starts to lick Harry’s knob leaving conversing out of the equation. 

Like always, Louis has Harry body tingling wanting more. By the time Louis is focusing on sensitizing Harry’s entire length Harry is enjoying the rather sloppy sounds Louis is making such that he wants someplace for his mouth to be too.

“Louis, Louuuiissss,” Harry gets out with some strain since he’s really only capable of moaning. “Swing around baby, swing ah, ahh, ahhround,” Harry gets stopped by a few extra distracting seconds of nirvana but pushes his idea on. “Swing around so I can have you in my mouth.”

Louis pops off, switches his straddle position to sixty-nine over Harry. Harry’s face meets Louis’ very happy erection indicating his enjoyment was true. 

Harry loves this being about to have Louis’ cock in his mouth or balls, his hand working the fullness of Louis’ arse, fingers finding his tight hole and teasing over its puckering Harry knows without seeing is always so pink, so perfect. 

Harry gets his fingers wet with a quick visit to his mouth to coat them in spit and the he returns to arse engaging in some aggressive attempt to insert one into Louis who has gotten sloppy in his handling of Harry like Harry is getting his attention split from pleasing Harry to being himself overcome. And sure enough, a tight, strained insertion or not, as Harry gets his lone finger in food a deep and presses where only a person as experienced as Harry might so deftly manage, Louis goes off coming with his cock in Harry’s mouth. He has to give up on Harry’s suffocatingly, large member to moan through his orgasm. Harry doesn’t mind. He imagines if Patti and Troy are upstairs they might hear them, again Harry doesn’t mind. He just swallows Louis down and imagines how great this would feel Louis clenching on his dick like he is now on one finger. It’s what drove Hathaway mad for having Louis. Not to say his madness was justified, but Harry can understand how Louis body makes one so full of the ideal of want.

Louis comes down from his orgasm with Harry giving him assist to lay on the bed, Louis going to one side of Harry, his chest side down his orientation still his head toward the end of the bed where Harry’s feet are. But Harry gets off his back and turns so his direction is facing the foot of the bed as is Louis’ with Harry now coming to straddle over Louis between his legs.

Louis responds to this by lifting his pelvis, making splendid arch in his back, positioning his bum so it’s up from the bed under him prone, presented for Harry to breach. Harry begins to slide his cock between cheeks slick with sweat, simply enjoying how the fullness of Louis’ bum, the heat the fullness makes is sort of perfection in itself since it too is likely enough for someone to come. 

Sure enough without ever penetrating Louis Harry starts to come. Louis sort of moans his frustration, surely he was hoping for the ever elusive dicking he so desires from Harry.

Harry enjoys his rutting against Louis, fucking against this plush bum being offered for him, splattering his jizz up Louis’ back, his hair too, and staying with this orgasm because despite Louis’ protests that are become more lucid, Harry maybe thinks now is not the time. Tonight is not the night. 

Seizing Louis in a hold as he comes down to collapse and lay upon Louis, snuffing out Louis’ protests. Harry simply explains his words sort of muzzled by his face pressing to Louis’ hair. 

“Sweet creature. Something so special should be more ceremonial, sorry. Saving that for sometime. Special.”

Louis so pinned is not beyond his protests being made know. Now it’s not whining or moaning with deference. It’s direct, unapologetic Tommo. “You’re a fucking twat Harry Styles. I don’t even like you anymore.”

Harry let’s a little laugh out. 

“And you’re always so cute when you don’t get your way. You’re like this tiny little lion prince, demanding so sure you’re so strong when you really are this delicate pretty thing. So precious you should be pampered properly before anyone plays with you. Maybe after enough pampering you can have it on you terms Little Prince.”

Louis huffs, sort of fakes trying to push Harry away. Yet easily gives up when their shift after some mild wrestling brings them into a pleasant shared hold. Harry’s toes of his left foot finds the ankle on Louis’ leg that has the anklet. Harry let’s Louis know his foot play is deliberative. He kisses Louis’ hair leaving it to Louis when to resign to offer him lips for a proper kiss.

***

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It was horribly cold and raining this morning so my appointments started canceling. As one by one fell through it allowed me to sit, write, drink coffee...and so hope you like this. Please comment, thanks for kudos!


	40. Chapter 40

Over the next couple of weeks Harry takes Louis to a two more meetings with Professor Doran. The first was for Doran and Louis to talk about the book, Doran’s book, which apparently Louis does exceedingly well at impressing the professor because the follow up visit is to unofficially let Louis know he will have a merit scholarship award. Each time they go to campus Harry dresses in expectation of seeing Doran to be a reminder of Harry of the past. Harry makes it a point to look like sex on legs just to be a thorn to Doran. 

Harry also makes it a point to be quite overtly affectionate with Louis when they are at Doren’s office and to see to it Louis has some visible mark on his neck that can’t be ignored as if to say “Louis is claimed”.

Another thing Harry continues is to, more or less, live at the Visser’s. The Visser’s host a birthday party for Liam that Louis and Harry plan with Harry surprising everyone more than the party surprises Liam when Harry makes from scratch an absolutely phenomenally complicated, extremely delicious five layer cake. 

Most of Harry’s daily routine surrounds being available to escort Louis anywhere Louis needs to go, whether it’s to meet up with their friends or play football. On occasions of the latter Harry notes how the new guy, Cole, has a growing crush on Louis though he seems also to be straight, at least Cole has girlfriend, Sara, who frequents the team’s games. While Cole is not as great a player as Aiden was nevertheless with Cole joining the team and Louis back to playing they are doing far better than they were after Aiden’s death and while Louis’ was out because of injuries. 

More and more frequently Eleanor is mentioned around the Visser home. She and Soren are becoming a very serious item. The occasional mention of Eleanor wanting to help Louis with getting some opening at Uni by being in the music program gets a polite but consistently disinterested response from Louis. Harry agrees with Patti that Louis is a gifted musician but Harry knows it’s an annoyance for Louis to have the young woman tutor brought up. Louis doesn’t offer explanation so Harry respects his privacy. 

Every so often Harry and Louis go to Harry’s flat where Harry plans what things to buy for decorative touches. This usually entails them spending hours looking a magazines and ordering things online. Usually also there is play since they are alone. Always it’s the kind of play that leaves them both satiated and at peace; never the kind Louis wants though because Harry continues to hold off from anything with Louis involving more than Harry’s mouth on Louis or Harry’s fingers in him. 

More and more Harry feels like Aiden’s sense of caution was inherited by him like some spiritual transformation occurred. 

One evening when Louis is out with his teammates Harry opts to meet up with Liam, Zayn and Niall. Harry shares this odd Aiden-transformation, it’s roots, with Zayn and Liam as the three of them hang out at a pub near where Louis and the football team are. Harry is comfortable with Louis out in public without him only because Harry enlisted the services of Creepy Thick Guy, Walter. 

“So you’re saying all this time since the green light on Louis being healthy, all these nights you’ve been sleeping together, not once you’ve done...it?” Zayn asks in disbelief. “Mate I saw how much you wanted that arse when he was with Aiden. What is wrong with you? He’s yours now!” 

Harry swallows a huge sip of beer. Shakes his head in his disbelief of himself. 

“I don’t know. I’m wish I could explain it. At first I thought it was just because I needed to give Louis have more time, just to be on the safe side. After a while I realized my concerns were a lot like when Louis and Aiden began doing more things when Aiden thought Louis was still too young, meanwhile Louis was wanting more from Aiden. Aiden worried he’d hurt Louis. He wrote about it a lot in his journal. Recently though I realize my caution with Louis is more than a physical precaution because, you see, since I returned Aiden’s diary to Louis he hasn’t read it. The diary remains tied with the ribbon I put around it, sits there untouched on a chest in his room at Visser’s.” 

Harry let’s the implication sink in. Zayn and Liam look at each other. Liam inquires. 

“So your fear is even though Louis clearly wants you, and he made the anklet into a Aiden-Harry hybrid symbol, is that he has unresolved feelings?” 

“Yes. Going back to when I was brought into the thing Hath was doing to him, to be this trigger to make Louis participate like Hath wanted, it was clear that Louis would basically do something where he’d go to this other place as he was being raped. In his other world I would become Aiden. He said something about Aiden the first time then. In his imagination when I was making him feel good it was as if Aiden was there, not me. It makes me wonder. If his eyes are closed he can imagine I’m Aiden. I know he feels the differences when his hands are on me, we’re built so differently. Aiden was far more Thor-like. But I don’t feel like he’s reconciled his emotions about Aiden’s death. If Aiden were alive tomorrow, would Louis choose me?” 

Liam jumps in. “Harry he knows the difference. Eyes closed of not. Also I think the way Louis made you a part of his and Aiden’s keepsake is so beautiful. He can’t look at the diary, okay, so what. I don’t think that’s a reason to avoid giving him more during intimacy. He’s a person whose been denied much of what is compassion and love since Jay died. Aiden was the only true love or source of tenderness that he had. Now he has you. You need to be responsive to his needs. If I were you and he asked me to fuck him, I’d do it thoroughly so that for days after he couldn’t walk, that little waddle he gets after a good dicking would be so pronounced the entire world would know.” 

Zayn agrees. Harry tries to feel better about prospects of more with Louis, but he doesn’t really think he can. Harry decides to simply change the subject. The conversation turns to more focus on what’s ahead for Zayn and Liam. Both are looking forward to classes starting in the fall, Zayn got a new opening around the holidays, Liam is still juggling three jobs. When Niall arrives to join them he’s got his duster on. No one else in the bar can hear it but from his pockets are the mews of tiny kittens, the reason he’s so late. 

Niall explains the obvious, adding “I thought it was the pub down the street, must have gotten your text mixed up with Louis’. Made the mistake of going there first. Louis said you were here.” 

Niall orders a pint, continues on. “Mate, that new guy, Cole isn’t it, he’s got his arm around Louis making a pretty big fool of himself too.” 

“What? Cole is doing what?” Harry gets up like to leave but Niall grabs Harry’s arm so he has to stay. 

“Be chill, Harry. Louis knows how to handle himself. Besides his mates see what’s going on. They are all giving Cole a lot of grief. One of them, Brian, he’s right defensive I think, said to Cole that ‘Cole’s getting Aiden’s “position” on the team only refers to the play on the pitch, not off it. And that he, Cole, might want to get his hands off Louis before some one sees it’. And then everyone realizes I’ve walked up to their table, hearing this, and Nathan says, ‘Just like that Cole. You see? Heya Niall, Niall as in best mate to Louis and his b o y f r i e n d H a r r y’.” 

Niall directs Harry gently to sit again offering more assurance, “So, Harry, I think the team has got it. Okay? Sit back down, sorry I said anything, let me buy round for all of us since you’re protectiveness is gonna make me finish this one awful quick.”

*** 

Harry leaves Zayn, Liam and Niall as soon as he gets a text from Louis saying “We’re done, you?” He sprints to the pub down the street. He enters passing Walter who doesn’t make eye contact but says to Harry “You okay to drive?” 

Anyone watching wouldn’t see that Walter spoke to Harry. Harry’s says “Yes” to which Walter says, “Okay still will be following you to Visser’s”. 

Harry strides to the back of the pub. Louis is there with about half the team who haven’t left yet. Cole appears to have left. Harry wished he could have confronted Cole so he could set Cole straight on boundaries. 

Upon seeing him, Louis gives Harry the brightest smile and gets up. When they meet Louis kisses Harry quite passionately. Harry can taste his kiss indicates Louis, underage or not, drink. In fact he’s had more than beer. There is a hint of something else. Smokey. Like a lowland scotch on his breath. 

Harry separates Louis from him to look for signs in his eyes of his condition. Louis teeters a bit. Harry makes his stance stable, asking “Louis, are you knackered off your face?” 

Louis laughs, doing the adorable little gesture he usually does when he laughs. His hand goes over his mouth with the back of his hand to his lips. It’s pretty darn cute and sort of gay, but all Louis. He leans into Harry. His hands on Harry’s chest. “Mumhum, maybe some tiny bit tipsy. Mostly just...” 

Louis lifts his face to Harry. He kisses Harry again. Louis leaves the kiss with a whisper, “...mostly just need this.” His hand rubs over where Harry’s dick, firm from the first kiss, “Need this in me. Good, long and hard.” 

Harry is crushed. On one hand he wants to sweep Louis up. Go to their flat. Do as asked. It his head the voice screams. “He’s mourning. He needs time. And he’s drunk.” 

Harry takes Louis with an arm around the waist saying bye to the few teammates before they meander through the pub which is at capacity so it’s nearly standing room only. As he heads to the door he passes Walter who follows a bit behind them while on his phone as to look disinterested. As they are leaving Harry notices near the front of the pub sat at a high top table for two is Cole and his girlfriend. Harry hadn’t noticed them when he came in to get Louis. Sara sees Harry coming through the crowd with Louis in tow she waves. Harry and Louis are about to pass out the door when Sara calls out to them, waving them to come over. 

“Louis! Harry!” 

Harry turns to the couple though he’s aware Louis pulls away. Resisting is ineffective. Tipsy Louis has no choice but to be led by Harry because of the arm hold. 

“Hi Sara,” Harry says politely. Coldly, Harry says, “Cole.” 

Sara is smiling broadly. To Harry’s surprise she is eyeing Louis with a funny look, not an expression like a normal person in a normal relationship with their boyfriend does. Sara’s mouth, the lip-licking, the way her hand moves as she touches herself, these are tells. Harry, a prostitute, can read tells-of-desire better than anyone. 

She boldly goes on with an explanation. “You’re such a pretty pair.” Sara looks at Cole like for a cue, then gets directly to a proposition. “So me and Cole want to know if Louis would maybe join us. Or both of you. If you like. I mean we originally though just something with sweetcheeks Louis but seeing how Louis told Cole a firm “no” earlier maybe we could go a different way.” 

Louis begins pulling away from Harry like to leave. Harry is riveted because he’s got a problem with Cole since Niall shared the events of earlier. Harry wants to know exactly what Louis said no to. 

Harry giving faintest interest gives Sara confidence. She sits up so that the effect of her very voluptous torso is more pronounced like that, and her beauty, might influence Harry. 

“I frequently like to spice things up with me and Cole. For the longest time it’s been my dream kink to see my Cole burying himself in the arse of another, a, actually, a pretty little twishish thing while this twink is, is you know, got face between my thighs, doing, you know, taking me there with his mouth while I lay back, watch my Cole fuck him. You see when Cole fucks me I can’t see him properly. I want to see him driving in from a fresh perspective and it’s not the same if it’s another girl. Additionally Cole has never been that good at cunnilingus. Your Louis has got such a pretty, pretty mouth, bet he knows how to use it, being gay and all. And having been getting to know you when we’ve sat at the games together, I decided when Louis said no to Cole that maybe he would reconsider if you too, Harry, joined us. Why stop at three when four could be more fun. I hear that you are huge. How about you bring your pretty little twink and I’ll make it worth your while. We’ll make it a foursome. Louis eats me out, Cole fucks him, I’ll suck you’re massive cock, we can film the whole thing. Sort of make two fantasies one if I add you into the mix. What do you say. Louis tells Cole you’re some kink of exclusive now, the two of you. Is that true?” 

Harry looks at this very pretty woman. He’s seen prettier. The orgy? He’s done weirder orgies. It’s just this is so offensive. Louis has his hand in Harry’s gripping it. He’s pulling Harry. 

Harry stays cool. He’s had every proposition in his years of subjecting himself to the abuse of his profession. It’s just this one is personal. 

“Sara. I’d like to just leave it at saying ‘no’, accept you’re boldness is particularly offensive for some reason. I’m not sure what Cole sees in you. Don’t either of you ever speak to Louis again. Don’t look at him. Don’t even speak of him to others. Don’t think about him. He’s not a toy Sara. He’s a person, he deserves respect. Attractive comes from a beautiful heart. You should work on yours, yours seems dark and rather ugly.” 

Turning on his heal, Harry leads a very exit-ready Louis which is delayed only by Harry saying one last thing to Cole, “Teamamte or not that applies to you too. Not going to tell Louis who he can and can’t talk to on the pitch but you’re on notice. If you so much as pat his bum for a nice play I’m taking you down.”

Getting home to th Visser’s Harry gets Louis right to bed. Louis is clearly more enibriated than what Harry first thought because, while Louis falls asleep fast, the sleep is restless like Louis might wake to be sick. 

Hours later, about 4am, Harry wakes which is odd because Louis is finally restful or so Harry thinks until he reaches for Louis. 

Harry finds the side of the bed where Louis was is empty. Harry gets up, goes to the bathroom because he hears water running in the shower.

Opening the curtain of the shower ever so slightly as he calls Louis, Harry is met with the unexpected. 

Louis isn’t standing showering as is normal. Rather Louis is sitting in the tub. The warm shower spray is missing him more than hitting him. This might be why Louis looks cold; he’s trembling slightly.

Bleary-eyed, like maybe he’s been crying or perhaps being ill from drink, he looks up at Harry and begins to cry fully upon seeing Harry. Like he is still perhaps drunk. Or worse.

Harrry turns off the water before bringing Louis out from the shower wrapped in a collection of towels. As Harry gets Louis back to the bed he’s reminded of doing something like this long ago after Hath had gone at Louis. It’s heartbreaking to have Louis acting this way. 

Harry has to ask.

“Louis, what’s going on? Were you sick? Are you ill, are you okay? Is it...”

Louis hasn’t words. He gets more upset, his body shakes, he gives into more tears, almost heaving a bit from his guttural turmoil. Harry gathers Louis in his arms and just holds him, asking nothing more. Harry gives Louis a series of kisses on the side of his head. Harry’s got a haunting suspicion that th stupid girlfriend Sara hit on a nerve that triggered something. This is alcohol mixed with trauma reopening what was scarred wounds.

Harry wakes to a Louis with a hangover. Louis has a headache, he’s terse. Even after Harry gives him pills he’s complaining about being uncomfortable and grumpy. Harry gives him space. He goes to his apartment, showers there and changes. When he gets back to the Visser’s it’s noon. Louis is still sleeping. Harry and Patti talk in the kitchen. They are joined by Soren and Eleanor who stop by. Eleanor says she will be playing some more dates at the nice hotel and wonders in Louis can accompany her on piano. Harry uses this as an excuse to go check on Louis.

Louis is still sleeping. Harry doesn’t attempt to wake him. He decides Louis won’t want to do that anyway so he returns to the kitchen where he tells Eleanor it’s unlikely and anyway Louis is still sleeping.

After Soren and Eleanor leave Harry asks Patti if she likes Eleanor. Her answer surprises Harry. He thought Patti likedher a lot. 

“I like that she makes Soren happy. She just isn’t what I’d call his type.”

Harry stops his gossiping there. He knows of the brothers Soren is the oldest but the least gregarious. He lacks the edge that Grayson and Beck have that gives them such charm. Aiden was by far the most competitive and the only one who had a long term relationship even though he was the youngest. 

Harry’s about to go see if Louis is awake when Louis comes in the kitchen. He looks aghast with his fatigue still evident and the effects of alcohol leaving him drained. In his hand is his phone that he’s once again tersely sounding as he’s speaking to someone. “I don’t give a fuck, actually. No. I’m not going to be there. No. Too bad. Bye.”

Harry and Patti look shocked. Who was that?

Louis tosses his phone on the table. “Nathan. I’m late for practice. He’s put out.”

“You don’t look up to playing,” Patti says. “You want me to make you something?”

“He’s a little, um, got too much drink last night, hun Louis.”

Louis goes to the pantry and pulls out some digestives. The box of wafers is empty though. The frequency of visit from the Visser son’s means the pantry is raided regularly. Though they are grown lads they still do teen boy things, like leave the pantry stripped bare and not tell their mum. 

Patti leaps to her feet and says, “Oh, so my remedy for that is blending a raw egg with a large glass of orange juice and a single scoop of ice cream.”

Good intentions aside, Louis hears her remedy ingredients and it sends him running from the kitchen to the nearest bathroom to be sick.

“Oops.” Patti says. “Guess it’s too early for that.”

***

Harry has to get accustom to Louis since the bad night of drinking. Louis won’t talk about it but he stays terse and has constant friction with anyone from the team who calls or anyone who asks why he isn’t playing football anymore. It comes to a point where Harry has to intervene. He calls Nathan. He gives Nathan full disclosure of what happened at the pub, with Sara.

Nathan makes a decision. “It’s about time we got an explanation what’s going on. I thank you for that Harry. It’s easy enough to tell Cole to leave his girlfriend at home if that will get Louis back. But will that be enough? Will Louis come and play along side Cole? We got playoffs coming up. We need him. If I got to decide, Cole or Louis, I’m going to go for Louis. Do I need to let Cole go? If I do he’s going to get picked up by another team. Louis is going to still see him. In that case they’ll be on the pitch at the same time. Aiden will be offense for a team we play against. Louis is defense, so.”

Harry ends the call with Nathan agreeing to tell Louis the options. Ask him to come back. 

***

After a few weeks of play the team is in the playoffs. Louis it seems puts his frustration with the sight of Cole into his aggression on the pitch and his sharpness of tongue. He gets his team into a couple squirmishes with other teams along the way. He kind of sets it up so Cole gets in the center of the conflict. Harry gets the idea of how bad it is to make an enemy of Louis.

By the time Niall’s birthday comes around Louis is hanging more with strictly Harry, Zayn, Niall and Liam and never with his teammates off the pitch.

The team makes it to the championship. Louis makes an amazing defensive score that should have lead to the team winning the game when Cole blows it when he and the other offensive players takes the field. In the end Harry feels that Louis may like that Cole cost them the game more than if they had won. 

With classes starting at Uni, Harry let’s concerns for football be put aside until the next season. Louis relationship with his teammates will surely heal as it’s clear after the last game the team loves their little Louis. He’s like life itself. Cherished.

***

Leaving Louis for much of the day for classes is a new thing Harry is having an adjustment to. He knows that Troy has Walter shadowing Louis so if Louis is to go out when Harry can’t be with him there’s protection. Hathaway remains at large. Harry let’s assurances from the Visser’s that they will look after Louis comfort him as he begins to try to focus on his new life. 

Harry as a student gets a hard slap in his first week.

Core curriculum requires Harry take certain assigned first year courses regardless of major study. Harry gets a pro-test back from English class and his marks are deplorable. The professor writes extensive comments with an indifference to any attempt at kindness. He evens comments how little faith he has for Harry’s future as a student, “given these marks of this simple pre-test assessment of abilities I doubt the student can ever achieve a level of work in keeping with the expections for this course. I strongly recommend the career path of housekeeping or food service.”

Harry goes home to his flat after reading that. He doesn’t call Louis. He’s about to go to bed in his rarely occupied flat when Louis texts him. 

“Where are you? Want to celebrate your first week as a student.”

Harry texts back ignore that Louis has sent him a picture with the text of his erection that he has made a smiley face on the head of with a permanent marker or something. 

“Nothing to celebrate Louis. Tired. Decided to sleep at mine tonight.”

Louis texts back a picture. He’s remade the mouth of the face from a smile into a messy frown. 

Louis follows that with a text. “I’m proud of you. Love you. Sleep well my collegiate love. Miss you.”


	41. Chapter 41

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Typos....ug.

A few weeks into his courses and Harry has gotten more feedback on his work from professors of his other classes. 

It’s not good. The only professor who gives any indication Harry could pass in his course is in Maths. Harry’s glad he’s got this one subject sort of okay. Harry’s always been interested in finances. He’s always been good with numbers. Basically though, Harry fears he could flunk out of all the other courses by midterms. He’s doing so badly. 

Worse than that is how Harry’s gotten only to see Louis very little. 

Louis always let’s him off easy when Harry keeps telling Louis by phone that he has “too much school work” or “is too tired” to come over to the Visser’s but Harry knows, even by phone, the sound of Louis’ voice, Louis is hurt. The idea grows in Harry’s mind that Louis is feeling like Harry is ghosting him. 

This makes is very hard when Harry calls-off at last minute a long planned date night, the one Louis has been wanting to do with him paying for everything like a proper boyfriend. 

Harry’s excuse. He has a paper to write. It’s for the prof who postitlively shredded Harry’s acedemic performance at the start of the term based on a course pre-test. Harry has no choice but to put Louis’date plan on hold in order to write an essay as Harry that prays his first officially graded work for the harshest professor will impress the man. 

By the next morning Harry has been up all night. At least his essay is done. He leaves his flat for school with a message he just deicovers since his singular focus had been writing focus. It’s from Louis. Louis message brightens Harry’s mood from thedread he has about turning in his essay. .

“Have time for lunch with me today? Patti is bringing me by campus to fill out some papers for registrar. Miss you.”

Harry texts back a meeting place, making sure to also let Walter know where they are going incase Patti intends to drop Louis off leaving him wandering around the Uni district alone. 

***

Arriving at a cafe just off campus for lunch Harry is in a horrible mood as he waits for Louis. He has only now right before lunch gotten back another graded assignment. It’s from a different course than the one he spent the night preparing his essay, but the assignment is basically now a giant mess of red marks. 

The worst part is this is a class on ethics; Harry has always felt like he should do well in that course. He just doesn't understand how he could have done so bad on a simple one page position paper. In fact the comment from the prof uses those exact words in his written comments. “...in short Mr Styles I’m assuming your performance suggest you just didn’t understand the assignment. Perhaps the next time you will actually apply yourself, read the instructions.”

Harry has such frustration over his last class in the morning that he doesn’t realize Louis has walked into the restaurant until Louis is standing beside him at the table. Harry looks up and he’s stunned by the beauty of Louis’ smile, the color of his eyes, his eyes having that cerulean shade to them and the smile like the one Louis gave him their very first time they saw each other at Payne’s the day Harry’s obsession for Louis began. 

Louis leans down and kisses Harry then sits across from him.

Both begin immediately nervously talking over each other admitting how much they’ve missed the other. It makes them laugh at themselves. Promptly a waiter comes, pours water for them. Gives them the list of specials. Louis begins peppering Harry with questions once the waiter leaves. Pretty much Harry feels like Louis is trying to make sure it’s the school work pulling Harry away, not a new world full of exciting and intriguing people. Louis is asking indirectly if Harry has found someone else. 

Harry tries to explain his absence. “I guess Uni is much harder than I thought it would be. I keep thinking I’m getting it when I’m in lectures but it’s seems I not doing so well with my assignments compared to others. My first few marks have been brutal.”

Louis brings his hands across the table to touch Harry’s. It’s then Harry realizes he’s doing a nervous thing with his hands. Spinning a ring on one finger. A leg under the table is bobbing, unconsciously expressing anxiety as his jitters make the water in their glasses ripple. 

Before Louis can respond the waiter comes to take their order. Once he leaves, Louis’ hands lingering on Harry’s increase the pressure comfortingly in contact with Harry’s. Louis speaks deliberatively low and soft. It’s a tone that soothes Harry’s angst. 

”Harry you do realize that while you’ve been living on the streets, living by your smarts, you have also been missing all the regular stuff other people get when they are in school like children should be, right? That doesn’t change the fact. You are very smart Harry. It might take time to learn the game of education.”

“Education is a game? Last time I checked it was necessary thing, not a game. Not like football which is a game.”

“Oh, but Harry education is a game. And hey, football is necessary, but just like football the rules are important. If you like the game, play it right, it becomes easy. You remember when we went to Professor Doran’s office and he sent me away with that book of his? His ego was so obvious that he picked that book, his own work of all things to test me on. And remember how I looked through it and without reading the entire thing got a good read on his need to put himself in the story? Well see here is the thing, they say every author should write what they know. From experience. But what they don’t say is how much is the author or a person like Doran kind of shows his hidden side in their story. Doran shows his true self, his desires. His bias. Ever teacher does that to with the focus on the content in their classes. Harry, it doesn’t matter the subject. You find what they like, they show you how they evaluate your efforts, you use that when you do work for them whether it’s on a test or writing papers, whatever.”

Harry nods. The food comes. Louis starts to eat as he asks. “So tell me how bad is it. Since you make it sound like your failing in the first month of school?”

Louis looks at Harry when he realizes Harry isn’t giving a reply. The Louis gestures a “what?”

“It is like that.”

“What?” Louis says his eyes looking for what he doesn’t understand. Or maybe what he can’t believe.

It hurts Harry to admit this because his entire plan for them is for him to be this successful person in something other than sex, for him to move on in life and be Louis’ knight in shinning armor. Now he fears this is a ridiculous dream that he can’t even come close to achieving. 

“Louis the only class I have any thing other than failing marks in is Mathematics. In that I have done average. The prof thinks I can improve with more work. Every other course I’m failing in. I don’t think when you come to Uni next term I’ll still be enrolled here. Fail in my first term.” 

“Shut the fuck up.” Louis says. He seems mad but when Louis rambles on it’s clear that his anger in defense of Harry’s innate intellect. Hearing Louis maintain that he thinks Harry’s is smart makes Harry lose the nausea that initially swept over him when he mistook Louis reaction at first. 

Louis leaves his food hardly eaten like he’s disgusted by this problem and he pushes his plate away. Food is not important. Harry is. 

“Harry I’d like to see anyhing you have in that messenger bag of yours that is a graded piece of work. I won’t accept that person as smart as you, as strong a survivor as you are, as capable of navigating complicated situations like you’ve done for years when you had no one, can be failing. Show me the work, carpé dium.” 

Harry doesn’t feel good letting Louis see his vulnerable side but he pulls out some papers. Louis continues to leave his lunch untouched as he pours over the evidence of Harry’s failure. Harry searches Louis’ face for signs. He can read nothing from Louis face accept that there is a furrow in Louis’ brow. Louis bites his lips a couple time. When Louis is done dissecting the evidence he leaves the stack of papers on the table in front of him beside his barely touched lunch like he’s decided something.

“Let’s go.” Louis says standing up.

“Where? Leave? We haven’t finished eating, you haven’t had more than a couple bites, I haven’t paid the bill...leave? Go where?

“Leave your stuff here. Just come with me to the men’s room.”

Louis stands leaving their table with Harry trailing after him saying “wait” while trying to understand as he follows. The waiter passes them so Harry mentions they’ll be right back and stays with Louis.

Once in the restroom Louis latches on to Harry. His lips burn into Harry’s with the force of the kiss, his tongue leaving no confusion of his desire. By the time some minutes later when Louis has got Harry sucked into orgasm, somewhat quick infact because his intent was to make it so and leave Harry sucked-senseless, Louis has gotten out a few words of explanation between his performing this hasty, but effective, stress-reducing blowjob.

It began for them like this. An act of rape in a bathroom pulled their lives into a union that put them on a path that lead them here. But what began as a journey of happen chance has become one of intention. Neither one of them had a choice in how their sexual lives began as yet children. They do have a choice in whether they allow that past to own them.

Leaving the bathroom together, each looking a little disheveled, Louis let’s Harry lead them back through the cafe as Louis makes his advocacy for Harry’s abilities clear. “Harry, failure is not an option. I will help you the way you’ve helped me. I can see what these wankers are searching for. There’s a way people think whether it’s drafting a test or planning assignments to challenge students and you simply have to learn the game. You’re great at reading people. Bending them to you. You can do this. Let me teach you how to read their intent.”

A little later when Harry leaves lunch for afternoon classes once Patti arrives to collect Louis, parting from Louis with such pain in his heart because he loves Louis so much but he’s feeling better, almost okay despite his bleak marks. The plan they made is that Louis is going to go to the flat. Later when Harry gets home Louis will begin to help Harry learn how to learn. His goal is to become a better student. An interpreter of tests. A writer of what the audience, his professors, want to read. Harry has confidence in Louis, Louis can teach him how to do these things.

***

“It’s that Eleanor doesn’t have confidence in her regular accompanist...” Soren tells his parents, Harry and Louis. The reality is that the situation stated by Eleanor about the other pianist isn’t really accurate. 

This story is in part an elaborate rouse. Though it’s true that her usual pianist didn’t not show up on this occasion at the Visser’s, the subject turns to an upcoming commitment that Eleanor has to play at the elegant dining room of the hotel where once upon a time Louis used to routinely accompany Eleanor on piano as she plays violin. The timing this discussion is amidst a big party for Patti and Troy’s celebrating their wedding anniversary. Once it was clear that the pianist once again is a no-show Soren began discussing the problem this unrealiabity presents for Eleanor. 

Eleanor would be playing right now for Soren’s parents at this large party of family and friends, were she accompanied, however because of this type of thing, her accompanist failing to show up, Soren explains this a predicament for Eleanor to his parents, Harry and Louis. Eleanor will have to find an immediate replacement pianist for an upcoming booking because clearly the pattern of failing to show up is too common with her usual pianist. This is how the conversation turns to Soren asking Louis a favor for Eleanor. 

“...and given this is the third time he’s done this, with El booked to play at the Embassy Grand Hotel Saturday after next it would sure be nice Louis if you could fill in this one time to give her time to find someone else. You know the music, you’ve played ther with her for years, so could you maybe do this one time while she starts looking for a new pianist?” 

Harry knows Louis doesn’t want to do this favor, or anything, with Eleanor. Harry stays out of the decision because he’s privy to the backstory. Soren and Troy are planning a party for Patti on her birthday this year which falls on that Saturday. The event was all set with friends of Patti’s invited to a fine midday meal at the luxurious hotel dining room where Eleanor would be playing. Louis knows this too. Only Patti is unaware why this particular recital is so important to Soren that it goes well. 

It’s very hard to plan anything to surprise Patti because she’s normally the planner of the family, the Visser family social director. Afterall she did just host two surprise parties for Liam and then Niall, so how do they get one arranged for her without Patti noticing? This up side of the pianist ruining the plan for Eleanor to a short recital for Patti and Troy not showing up to the anniversary party is that it makes an opportunity fall into their laps of how to get Patti to the hotel without her suspecting an alternative reason. 

What better reason than to trick Patti to go to a hotel other than supposedly for a concert performed be her son’s girlfriend and, surprise, all her best friends and family are there to celebrate her birthday. Unsuspecting Patti seals the deal that Louis will fill in for this one event when Patti jumps in. 

“Please Louis, do say yes to helping Eleanor. I’d love to hear you playing with Eleanor much more than if her other pianist had made it here tonight. In fact I’m glad the slacker didn’t come. Much rather hear our Louis on piano with Eleanor than someone I don’t know. So just this one time. For me?”

The plead from Patti gets an echo from Troy. “Me too Louis. Most certainly we’ve had the pleasure of hearing you play music often but even though Eleanor was your tutor for a few years I’ve never once heard the two of you play together. I always meant to go by The Grand before when Aiden said you’d be there accompanying some violinist, never could get away from work. It’s a funny coincidence that now Eleanor is dating Soren and an opportunity comes making it a special treat. And the date is Saturday October 10th. That’s Patti’s birthday. I always like to take her out for lunch on her birthday, or dinner, so this would be perfect.”

Louis blushes, or at least he flushes a little red, his eyes close and agrees with a “yes” that has a boarderline hiss to it like he hates this idea so deeply and is suppressing it for Patti’s sake. Harry’s sees this. He also notes how everyone else is oblivious to Louis’ reluctant disposition. Planning a party as a surprise for Patti is all they are thinking about as the convenient opportunity arises to set up the party as a complete surprise. 

Once Louis agrees he goes back to a game he was playing with Niall before he got drug into this pianist-problem. It’s crowded where Niall and Louis are so Harry seeks out a less popular area of the house. He finds Liam and Zayn off in a corner looking like they are trying to not look intimate but failing miserably at it. Harry settles in with them. The three talk about Uni. Liam’s has perfect marks across subjects. Zayn work is more subjective but of course he’s excelling, of course, as he is a commercial success withou even near finishing his degree studies in art. How is Harry doing, they ask since it’s become known to Harry’s closest friends he’s been trying to make up from a failing start. 

“It’s good. M’good, or maybe might say just getting better. My papers and essays don’t come back all red. And Louis has me helped me work into a solid grade in maths by teaching me how to take exams better. I don’t know to do the simplest questions first and get into a rhythm, get my nerves calmed then work on the harder questions. I always just went in order. He also taught me how the review question can tell something about how the exam questions will be focused. Never knew those things but Louis has helped so much. I might even make it to slightly above average in all my classes by end of the term. Maybe. We’ll see, Louis is such a good teacher.”

Zayn and Liam congratulate Harry like he’s earning high honors. In some way that’s true, since Louis began tutoring Harry it’s been an uphill struggle. Adding to the huge challenge is how since Harry started so poorly underachieving he has to prove himself over and over. Some professors are suspicious of his turn around. The lads know Harry and Louis work together everyday. Louis reviews all the materials for all of Harry’s classes, spends hours getting more materials as needed from the library to help with Harry’s deficits while Harry’s atending the formal class. For every class and after each day of lecture Louis reviews Harry’s notes and points out ways to take better notes. Louis even makes practice tests and quizzes for Harry to project what Louis thinks might be tricky perils professors might create just to throw students off. It’s day after day of this. The are sometimes at Harry’s flat, sometimes at Visser’s. They work late so often that, despite their desire for each other, they simply fall asleep having exhausted themselves or are easily satiated with simple cuddling, kissing or a quick hand-job. On occasions where Harry gets through a challenging assignment, does it well, or get a kind remark in a class debate from the professor, Louis gives Harry “treat” of his choice. Most times Harry asks for a blowjob. Sometimes he likes making Louis perform, getting himself off while Harry watches Louis, because Harry is simply too tired, too content to watch. Occasionally Harry selects the treat of eating arse and subjecting Louis to fingering him into a mess. Always continuing to annoy Louis, Harry refrains from givng into fucking Louis properly. 

That issue continues because of the Aiden-caution thing which still plagues Harry. The book. Aiden’s diary. 

It remains tied in a silk ribbon unread by anyone other than Harry and Aiden himself.

How can Louis be so strong and determined that he will fight the university system to help his boyfriend be triumphant and yet so soft and fragile he can’t really face the loss.

It’s a mystery.


	42. Chapter 42

Harry walks out of his last class of the day in the Friday before the surprise party feeling great about himself. In class, for the first time, he positively smashed a class discussion. The prof acknowledged it. The other students gave him credence. Another student even scurries to catch Harry’s attention stopping him as the class exits. 

The student is one Harry knows of since he is a friendly chap who is quite popular with the girls. His name is Brad.

Brad ditches the two girls from class who where exiting class with him to order to purposefully intercept Harry. 

“Hey bro, that was brilliant in class today, positively brilliant.”

“Thank you.” Harry says enjoying that his classmates are responding to his improvements even though some of his professors still have their reservations and skepticism. 

“Wanted to let you know,” Brad says as he’s being distracted by the girls who left class with him. Two of them behaving like their parents would likely regret, trailing behind Brad and Harry acting like they are in heat. “I’m having a party tonight, thought maybe you’d like to come. There is going to be a lot of girls coming, not like regular girls, but .g i r l s.” 

Harry stops walking, turns to look at Brad. “Thanks. That’s not my thing. Not single.” 

Brad looks slightly hestitant before he retracts. “Okay. I guessed. You’re gay? And married maybe? All of those rings on your fingers yet none look like a wedding band throws it off.”

Harry looks at his hands. He thinks about the anklet Louis wears and it’s symbolism. Many different types of things can be symbolic. 

“Gay yes, but not married. Working on that with someone, it’s just that he’s still getting over someone he lost so we are going really slow. Also he’s only seventeen. Had a rough childhood.” Harry says like his childhood was anything like normal.

Brad shakes his head. “Harry... the girls are going to be heartbroken. You have noticed, I’m sure, how most the class just stares at you? Women. Men. You could have your pick.”

“The One I got at home is top shelf, n’all that. Besides Brad, it seems like you have a huge following of your own with the girls. Thanks for the invite though I really appreciate it.”

Harry turns to walk away when Brad calls after him. “Harry, you should still, boyfriend or not come. It will be fun. Besides I’m curious what the lad looks like if he’s got you hung up on him, you’re so perfect and all...” Brad winks before he adds. “I’ll make sure we have plenty of beverages for the under age kiddies so whoever he is he won’t go thirsty. Bring him.”

Brad and Harry part with Brad letting Harry know he’ll text Harry the address. 

Harry gets the text immediately. He also gets one from Louis. Louis knew today Harry would get back a paper that Harry turned in on Monday for the Ethics class. Louis wants to know when Harry is leaving campus and if he got his marks. 

Ethics was the corse in which Harry started out the very worst. The one with the prof, Professor Miller, who shredded Harry and questioned Harry’s ability the most harshly. On every occasion since Harry began improving in Ethics the professor has called into question the reason for Harry’s change in performance. Basically this implies Harry is cheating; someone else is writing Harry’s out of class assignments for Harry. 

The Professor Miller has gone so far as to add to his disbelief in the positive change as real work by Harry by telling Harry that when they do work in class Harry better be able to show that his works is consistent in quality with the out of class work or it will surely prove Harry is using someone else’to write his papers. Having been disparaged so blatantly, Harry makes it a point to speak in class as often as he can like Louis has suggested that he do so in that is class participation Harry’s shows he has his own ideas that he can support in public debate. 

In Harry’s messenger bag is the latest paper graded with high marks and one thing written in red at the bottom of the paper. The word “Fabulous!”

Just that. Fabulous. In big letters. In red. An exclamation mark after it. Underlined three times. Miller was greatly impressed.

Harry can’t wait to show this to Louis.

Maybe they should celebrate. Maybe it’s time for Louis to go to a party that doesn’t have their same set of friends or Aiden’s family but new people. Afterall, Louis is going to be a student in the new year, isn’t it time he get a broader picture of the student life?

Excited to see Louis with the good day of classes behind him, evidence of it in his messenger bag to share when he gets home Harry stops his stride across campus to pull out the returned paper for Ethics. He snaps a picture of it so Louis can see the hand-written comment by Miller at the bottom of the paper. “Fabulous!” 

Fabulous is correct. It will be fabulous to take a might offf from studies. All the extra work they have been doing has made little time for Harry and Louis to have much fun together. A party might be just what they need. 

Harry puts the paper back in his bag. He texts Patti and tells her he’s going to his flat to hang there tonight with Louis sleeping at his for the night since they are going to celebrate some good grades he just got today. Patti replies immediately and says they should take a break for a night or two. She’s proud of them for working together and so glad for Harry it’s helping. “Be safe” she says. 

Harry has a fleeting idea from that how it might be that Walter, aka Creepy Thick Guy, might be known to her. 

Harry takes liberty that Patti seems like a really cool sort of mum. Not prudish. Not judgmental. Hell she backed Aiden on a gay relationship that began for him at thirteen with a boy of only eleven. To amuse himself and leave implications out there he texts back, “No worries. We have protection.” 

This leaves it for her to decide. Does Patti assume Harry means condoms? Does Patti know about Walter? 

Thinking of Walter, Harry next texts Walter. 

“On my way home. Going to take Louis to a party later tonight, leaving about 10-10:30, Uni friends.” Harry also includes Brad’s address in the text. 

Walter replies back. “Will give myself a break for getting dinner once you are back here to your flat. Will come back over to yours again by 9:30, follow you lads there.” 

Harry laughs a little. In all this this time since Walter began tailing Louis the one thing Harry has learned about him that Walter rarely engages Harry when they pass like he did the one time at the pub, concerned if Harry should be driving. In fact Walter once scolded Harry for acknowledging him when they were in public. Harry meant to exchange information. He thought it was essential. Walter implemented a no speaking with, no eye-contact rule saying it is vitally important that he [Walter] be like paint on the wall. Nothing to notice, or to talk about. Invisiblity. It’s his job. It’s been four months since Hath left having left Louis hospitalized though his plan was to leave the country ahead of his arrest, with his son his prisoner, his son his sex-slave to keep. Hath hasn’t been brought back to London to face his crimes which ontop of Louis’ long abuse at Hath’s hands the crimes includes two homicides, an attempted third, and probably countless other crimes. 

Harry been playing it all very safe with Louis. Both in his physical contact, or not, and social exposure to strangers who could be agents for Hathaway. This is why they have rarely gone anyplace when away from the Visser’s other than Harry’s flat, Uni, the library, the park, the music store. Their outings are also usually day time hours. Even if meeting friends like Liam, Niall and Zayn the gathering is usually scheduled right after work/school. He and Louis are home, usually to the Visser’s, early evening. This Uni party is a new thing. It starts late. There are many strangers. The neighborhood is more traditional diversely populated persons than Harry’s more up-scale district. Diverse means a strata of risks. Additinally likely, there will be drinking. Loud music. Lots of people. Many, many unknowns. 

***

Harry enters his flat to the sound of music playing. Entering the living room space he sees that Louis has his guitar. He is seated on the couch playing. 

At first glance Louis appears to be doing so completely naked. Catching sight of Harry standing there, Louis stops, stands, lets the guitar fall away to land on the cushions of the couch.

Suddenly Harry realized that Louis is not nude. 

No. 

It’s worse.

A skimpy thong Harry bought for himself to wear to amuse his clients is the only article of clothing Louis wears, if one can call something so minimalist “clothing”.

The pink thong is shear in the front where it’s tiny allotment of fabric barely would cover even a petite, thin, 5’6” female supermodel yet alone Louis. His dck, even flaccid sticks out to one side.While that is itself adorable and delicious enough this is made even more scrumptious by the narrow straps that go around the hips digging in to his form. They are barely 3/8 of an inch yet the way they cut into the flesh on Louis’ hips as they disappear from front view in this perspective has Harry weak. How well the singular step of the back would be buried in his lusciously full bottom where maybe a section of it ribs over Louis’ similarly pink hole.

Harry realizes that he has his mouth open. He might feel drool pooling. He deliberatively uses a hand to raise his own lower jaw then the same hand does a signal to tell Louis to “turn-in-a-circle”. 

Louis obliges. A smirk on Louis’ face says he likes Harry’s disarmament. 

On my fucking god, Harry thinks. 

It’s unpresedented. Louis turning slowly revels how the garment, which fits snug even on Harry’s less curves hips, cuts into the smooth tan beauty of Louis’ buttocks, its grip accentuating the how it must be know that god made Louis’ bum for mortals to worship. And, yes the fabric disappears because Louis bum is so damn full.

Louis, the demigod of sinful seduction. 

Harry doesn’t like that a thought like that overtakes him. Isn't that too, too, well too “Hath like”? 

Or is it that it’s just too impossible to resist this, Hath-like impulse, or not.

Harry looses himself to the impulse. He swoops across the room picking Louis up. Carriing Louis he tries to kiss him. Despite the attempt at passionate kissing Harry has to purposefully miss Louis’ mouth as he speaks too. He mixes talking and kissing and sucking Louis’ neck, shoulders, very relentlessly trying to take in all of Louis in one while doing multiple things almost clumsily carrying Louis. 

Harry sees the breakfast bar, the place he made Louis first meal here in his flat, it was a salad he recalls, and he sets Louis down there where that ate. His own clothes come off so fast Harry’s not sure even how they disappeared. He heard some ripping. Maybe that. Oh, and Louis giggling as Louis lays back on the counter, bends a knee, arches his back and let’s a hand float to Harry who, of course, has an erection.

Undressed Harry climbs up in the counter straddles over top of Louis, let’s himself kiss Louis again. This time he tries to be more detailed. Tongue in mouth give this a good strat because Louis moans into it. Harry’s mouth shifts away from Louis, moves as Harry finds places to nuzzle, marks are left a few places along with a bite or two. Meanwhile Louis lays under Harry, on a hard, cold counter. He doesn’t mind the cold; Louis is moaning, laughing, arching, writhing and...

Being Louis, talking if he can, in filthy directives. 

Just that alone has Harry’s slit gleaming. 

Harry moves to up on his knees, his cock in hand as he inches toward Louis’ face making use of Louis offer. Louis puts one hand with Harry’s cock-guiding hand to bring Harry’s cock to mouth. His other one plays with one side of Harry’s arse. 

Louis maybe has Harry between his lips just, just a tiniest of bit barley allowing Louis do do anything to it before Harry snatches his dick away. He jumps off the counter and sort of roughly yanks Louis so Louis is feet on the floor bent over the counter. 

Louis seems happy to take this sudden change. It’s clear he thinks he’s found the trigger, the thing that makes Harry finally cave. At last, Louis must think, Harry is going to fuck him.

Louis boasts. “So I brought a few of my clothes over, was putting them away with yours. Found you have this drawer full of these things. Not sure pink is my color but I know it’s your favorite. Thought we could celebrate properly your academic successes.”

Harry probably shouldn't have slapped Louis bum so hard. It makes Louis jump and it leaves a very red mark. 

Fuck no apparently he should. He should because Louis said “Yes, hard like that. Fuck me hard. Slap me, slap into me.”

Harry always been sure he can handle sex. Any situation. It can take and give it however the client wants. This...

This is different. The talk was boarderline daddy-talk like the kink Harry has fulfilled a thousand times. Sometimes he takes “his” daddy. Sometime he “is” daddy. Age is not a variable. Gender either. 

When Louis talks like this though... the diary unread...it’s just.

Harry pulls back. He steps back.

He stands four feet back and looks a Louis bent over for him. Body beautiful. Begging.

Louis looks back to meeet Harry’s eyes.

“So, you going to punish me for wearing this thing?”

Harry heart drops. His dish throbs. He confused. Hi mind says his lover is so messed up he should be taken care of by people who know more than Harry. But Louis puts his hands on his cheeks parting them. Harry can see the slick. Louis has prepped himself. The fucking Pixie is planning this and is determined. He wiggles his bum with his fingers strained to pull his ample cheeks. Even though the thong crosses over the pink entrance Harry can see the rim is a little red like Louis has sued his time to make himself properly ready. The pink thong is the color of Louis entrance when he’s fresh untouched. His rim is now what is more berry like when he’s been warmed and or fucked.

It’s a siren call to Harry. 

He steps forward and with Louis gasping “yes, at last!”

Harry sort of stops at bobbing his knob there alternating with a finger feeling a shallow penetration in Louis seeking answers about Louis condition for such a quick commitment to dicking. Louis is over the moon with encouraging for Harry to “get to it”. 

Harry gets his knob pressed so he’s almost putting the entire head of his cock into Louis’ hole p, more than he allowed himself into Louis mouth senconds ago, when Harry just stops. 

Harry pulls his dick away. Louis start to raise and protest. Harry shuts him off by pushing him down somewhat hard and starts to rut himself between cheeks, the thong string burning against his skin as he keeps Louis shoved into submission as he violently fucks the flesh outside of Louis’ body. It takes seconds, a minute at most, before he shoots his loadover Louis who is swearing at him with curses quite nasty and cruel. 

Louis doesn’t shut up when Harry rips him off the counter he was bent over to once again position Louis laying on the counter, back down, face up. Harry shoves his dick in Louis’ mouth, silencing Louis’ curses, forcing Louis to clean him before Harry grabs Louis dick which has no entrapment from the flimsy garment which allows Harry to engulf Louis dick while leaving him in the thong, knowing it rubbing against Louis’ entrance adding to how Louis is getting the wrong kind of friction on his precious spot. 

It’s a maddeningly rough, fast blowjob. 

By the time Harry has swallowed every last drop Louis is sobbing. He’s stated clearly he didnt want to come like this. He wanted to come with Harry deep in him. 

Harry feels so badly once he’s finished Louis off. So he does the only thing he can do. Damage done.

He scoops Louis is his arms and takes him to a bed. There he wraps Louis into him, under covers and stays holding Louis like that while Louis swears at him more and curses his existence.

Louis doesn’t hate Harry as he states. He just hurt. He also falls asleep. Harry knows Louis falls asleep after he’s been exhausted by emotion and something like what they did. It’s sort of his m.o. 

Harry let’s him sleep. 

A few hours later Louis wakes. He has Harry staring at him. He stares back for a couple minute before he speaks. He keeps it brief.

“You’re a fucking wanker. I hate you.” Louis says. It almost sounds like he means it.

“I know. I mean, you’re right about me being a wanker. I love you too. You want to go to a party tonight? Someone in my class today invited us. Should be fun.”

Louis’ face changes from frustrated to filled with excitement. He jumps up, out of bed, finds a cloth to wash off the dried, sticky mess staying in the pink thong, grabbing clothes and in seconds he’s dressed. A minute later he’s sculpted his hair into a messy, fringy perfection and he’s all smiles. 

Harry is still on the bed amazed at this. In a split second Louis went from sullen anger to lit up. How quickly, when motivated, Louis can reinvent himself. 

Louis realizes Harry still just laying there smiling at him. 

He asks. “What are you doing? Aren’t you going to dress? We should go right? So who is having this party? Where is it? Oh, can you wear that shirt I like? The one that shows off your nipples?”

Louis chatters happily the entire way to Brad’s. When they park Louis goes suddenly quiet. He sits unmoving to exit while Harry prepares to get out. Harry wonders why when Louis confesses. 

“Harry this is the first time going to a party where I don’t have Aiden’s family, my usual friends around, just all new people. I mean unless you count the times when he would take me to something like an art opening, you know like that time we went to that opening of Zayn’s. I’m kind of nervous.” 

Harry gets out of the car. He goes to open Louis door. Pulls Louis up from the seat with a gentle hand. Letting the door shut beside them Harry presses Louis between him and the car. His hand lifts Louis chin. There lips meet in a gentle kiss with a lightness of tongue so to give an impression this pause before joining the party is meaningful. 

“They will love you, Louis. Everyone always does.” Harry’s says. Then to take the serious edge off he adds, “Especially when you wear those skintight white jeans like that, tee shirt showing your collarbones. Irresistible.”

*** 

Harry was right. Everybody loves Louis. Brad is a great host. Brad introduced them to a lot of people before he lets them go on in their own likening. Harry knows a good many of the party-goers from his courses. He’s got to admit it’s nice being in a party of young adults who give no thought to his sexuality. He’s got no shame from being an escort plaguing him. He’s among peers which include many other young people who prefer non traditional gender norms. Pretty much the party is a perfect way to embrace the total experience of university life. 

From the beginning Harry puts boundaries on Louis and drinking. Louis pouts but accepts what ever drink Harry hands him. Brad passes by a few times and asks Harry if they still have enough “juice boxes”. AnytimeHarry goes to get a drink thinking he’s left Louis in innocent company he comes back to find some new person is having a drink of Louis; that is to say the men who like boys are on Louis like he’s honey. It happens always because Harry gets delayed; he can’t seem to shake the women who seem to see him as something to devour too. 

All in all to going okay though. Harry and Louis go to where the people are dancing for one dance. That’s all they do. One. 

One dance and it’s clear anything more is going to escalate the urges of those who want to drink Louis or devour Harry. Harry decides it’s better to be where people are more the chatting party types than the dance party types. 

Being in a less ear-pounding loud music area Louis is pulled into a game. Two other guys, three girls and Louis play spin the bottle. Louis has never done this. Harry protests when he hears what they’ve decided, but Harry yields when he’s properly destroyed by everyone around the gamers as well as Louis and the other five of the infamous drinking game. 

Soon it becomes apparent the biggest concern to Louis safety is not the chance of having too much alcohol, because he does take tiny sips of pressed to drink as Harry warned him to do, but rather it’s the problem of his attire. 

Seems that Louis being on the floor as this circle of six are, has an interesting effect. Adding to the seductiveness of his collarbones all exposed and tempting is the combination of the fit of his skinny white jeans and the pink thong he never changed out of. 

As Louis sits his legs folded under it’s almost too lovely how his thick thighs look so lush and succulent. However when he rocks forward to spin the bottle his shirt rises up some. This exposes where his jeans end. Their white contrast against his golden skin and their cut, a low waist fails to cover the thing like side straps of the pink thong cutting into Louis’ hips. 

Partiers standing around this circle on the floor get repeated exposure to Louis, the pixie, with a pink thong being an unintentional tease as he plays this stupid game. There was one guy in particular who tried to snag Louis earlier while Harry was getting drinks and delayed who is noticeable afflicted by Louis’ inadvertent teasing. The guy, who Harry learned is graduating the next term, with honors, very popular with girls, ironically named Aiden. He has to be 6’4 at least and apparently bi, but only rarely going for boi. Tonight it was clear he was all in for Louis. 

Retuning with drinks Harry finds Louis is not where he left him but off to the side of the room. Back against a wall. This lad, Aiden was leaning with an arm on the wall over Louis’ head because their height difference and he seemed to be fairly entertaining because Louis was all smiles and laughter. Harry seeing this, it striking him to intervene firmly is what brought Brad to Harry’s side. Brad was alerted by a transformation is Harry’s demeanor that implied a fight, he lessens the prospect by revealing this history on the Aiden leaning into Louis and assisting Harry in going to them, separating Louis by slickly introducing Harry and Aiden while adding to the introduction, “this is Harry, Harry Styles, boyfriend to Louis who you are trying to impress.” 

Brad’s intervention stopped the fight that was going to happen had Brad not been so adept at this sort of conflict. Fight averted, Aiden alerted, it didn’t stop Aiden from appearing to find himself contantly in proximity of Louis contantly for the rest of the night. With the game of spin the bottle and Louis looking so ripe for the banging, Aiden was full on having his fantasies and not giving credence to a gentle warning Brad made earlier.boyfriend of not, This Aiden wanted to be into Louis. 

Harry is about to get into another little chat with This Aiden when he hears the truth or dare question which is repeated because it seems Louis is sort of conflicted to answer and afraid to drink. Or maybe he’s just afraid. 

The three girls are laughing. Harry’s brain tries to catch up on the question that has Louis pausing because Harry was pretty much focusing on this Aiden. The girls taunting gets more of Harry’s focus and he turns away from what was to be his approach to have conflict with This Aiden. 

The girls talk over each other as they laugh and taunt. 

“What the matter Louis?” 

“I don't think he liked the question, look at his face.” 

“He really didn’t like the question? Good one though.” 

“He said he’s not a virgin,” 

“And he’s into like how many different things, did he answer to already, that are like totally illegal in most countries?” 

“He’s got at least five by my count and this is the question that stumps him!” 

The girls all laugh at how they got Louis speechless after he’s reveal so much so far. The girl who asked the challenging question leans in and lowers her voice. “Last chance Louis. Answer or drink. Did you ever have sex with a woman? Hum, twink or not? Sex, you and a girl. Did it happen... Anything that like sex. Fuck, cunnilingus, we’ll leave off getting head from a girl that’s too boring, but have you fucked, eaten out, or hey, been pegged by a girl? Truth or dare.” 

Harry knows the look on Louis’ face. It’s that dazed expression he gets when he’s with The Monster. It’s some abuse coming fully and fresh before Louis like he’s back in the moment. 

Laughter from the idiots in the game drounds out everything after Louis gets out what is a broken sounding faint response. 

It’s a “yes” from Louis’ lips a fraction of an instant before Louis folds over falling forward. His faint is taken a humorous sign of his drinking for the cause. 

For Harry the awareness is different. It’s meaning is significant. From the diary there is no mention of it, but from Louis’ lips full disclosure at least once he’s had some sexual encounter with a woman. 

*** 

It’s the surprise party for Patti and the event was so very important for Eleanor have Louis come to play so how can she be late? Soren has brought the news with all the guest having just surprised Patti. People who are guest of the hotel, local patrons here for lunch, or those who are party of Patti’s birthday affair are all expecting this Calder-Tomlinson recital and where is Eleanor? Why would she possibly be late? 

While everyone is wondering why and Soren at a lost to explain based on the cryptic message from Eleanor, one thing is certain to Harry. He can read Louis’ reaction. Louis isn’t unhappy about this news. Everyone else is wondering what to do except Louis. He’s sitting off at the piano acting like he’s bored to death giving no signs that it bothers him if part of the plan for Patti’s big day goes badly. A reaction that who be unexpected given how Patti is the closest thing to a mother Louis has.


	43. Chapter 43

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Lots of song lyrics reading to sort though. The songs do relate to the plot. You might want to listen to the song’s if you wanna playlist to get a feel of things as you read. Forgive the randomness of the year of each song’s release relative to the story. This is very AU given that at this point of our story Louis is in the fall of his seventeenth year, Harry nineteen, Eleanor 22....this remains a work of complete ludicrous fiction. Forgive the errors.  
> ***

The Dorchester at Royal Hyde Park and Mayfair with its palatial restaurant, ornate rooms, so many mirrored walls accentuating the lavishness of its every element from the smallest detail to the grandest was where Troy and Patti had their wedding reception years ago. Troy’s promise to Patti is that upon their thirtieth anniversay he will book them the penthouse suite of The Dorchester which is a crowning jewel of five-star, world class luxury with its rooftop garden. The rooftop garden is exclusively for the penthouse guests to use. Its view of the park which extends from the garden giving the effect of an infinity of green out the penthouse door. 

The dining room option, of which there are many in this hotel, where preparations were set up for Patti’s surprise was the largest one. Many hotel guests and regular London patrons were also dining at the venue because of its advertised attraction. This made it very easy for Patti to be totally surprised when she arrived. Occupying several tables in one section of the room her dear friends and her sons waited to surprise her. Many Londoners were familiar with the recitals given by Calder so Eleanor had a bit of a following. Upon seeing her organized group of friends Patti comments that his explains the real reason Eleanor made such a fuss recently about needing Louis being there. It’s was a ploy. 

However after minutes tick by. The time the music was to start passes with with Eleanor a no-show while people are being served their lunch in a room devoid of music. Harry lingers around the raised floor area where the grand piano sits. Louis on the bench waiting for Eleanor too. Louis is simply giving no interest in anything as he seems absorbed in thoughts. Off on the side of the room where the group of invitees to Patti’s luncheon are seated most the Visser’s, Patti excluded, are up on their feet moving to away from the tables some to some conversation with a couple of the hotel staff. It’s apparent that there is some discussion of what to do as music is expected to be played, but there is still no Eleanor. 

Harry notices that the Dorchester staff, Troy, his three sons all begin glancing in Louis’ direction; the discussion looks to be about formulating a plan. The way the hotel staff and the Visser men are looking at Louis Harry’s sure they are certainly talking about asking Louis to go it alone until Eleanor arrives. The way Louis is in his own little world and not his normal sparkly-self has Harry concerned so he decides to see what is up with the group formulating a plan to deal with Eleanor’s delay. 

Harry walks by some tables with random lunch patrons who are not part of Patti’s guests when he is stopped by the sound of a familiar voice calling his. Harry is surprised to discover that it is none other than his Ethics professor, Professor Miller, who called his name. Seated with the professor is a woman about his age, attractive, smiling warmly at Harry. Harry becomes derailed from going to check with Troy and the others as he greets the professor, the man who has been Harry’s worst academic nemesis. 

“Professor Miller. Hello.” 

Professor Miller has the friendliest smile Harry has ever seen when he politely stands, shakes Harry’s hand. “Good to see you. Mr. Styles, I’d like you to meet Gerina Poust, she teaches in the music program. I was just telling her I’ve had this student in one of my classes who has made this most miraculous academic transformation. Quite remarkable. And here you are.” 

Gerina shakes Harry’s hand. “Good job young man, it’s not easy to impress stuffy, the legendarily demanding Professor Miller,” she says as she winks at Miller like she’s giving him a hard time playfully, “he’s so staunch in his rigorous expectations. I must thank you for giving him some student to be positive about, usually our dates are ruined if we talk about work it becomes full of stories about how this student is dreadfully dim, or that student doesn’t know how to write a complete sentence, on and on he goes into his rhetoric about the deficits of the youth today, how your generation doesn’t know how to work hard. But I understand you’ve been working very hard, you’ve made some massive improvement. How did you come into your rhythm with the studies? I understand you went from failing to a recent posting an excellent mark in a Ethics. If you have any secrets I’d like to share them with a few of my students who struggle with books, papers and all, though I’d say our format of assessment and testing is very different in the music program.” 

Harry looks over at Louis who is now surrounded by the Visser men and the two Dorchester staffers. Five men are discussing something with Louis. Louis who looks diminutive and a little uncertain about whatever they are saying to him. Harry assumes they are suggesting for him to begin playing without Eleanor. 

“I’m getting tutoring. It’s helped immensely in all my courses. Ethics wasn’t my only rough start.”

“So you have a tutor assigned from each department of studies?” 

Harry almost blushes. “I’m actually working with a tutor from outside the Uni.” 

Harry’s effort to not say too much about the subject makes the tutoring sound very intriguing. 

“You mean one of those learning center services?” Gerina asks. 

“No. Um, actually, Louis over there at the piano, he um, well see we are, um together. Louis has been being educated at home with all private tutors for years. Since he was eleven. He’s sort of good, really good at stuff, school stuff. He’s been helping me.” 

Gerina looks over at Louis. She looks back at Harry trying to reconcile the unexpected. “Louis Tomlinson? The Louis Tomlinson who is performing with Eleanor today? I read in the faculty news that he is name as a recipient for a merit scholarship from the Department of Literature. He must be a bright one. That he’s not going to be coming to the music program is a disappointment. Or at least I assume he’s not perusing music because I would have seen his application to the program.” 

Miller jumps in. “Your are saying your tutor, Louis, is not even at university yet and his yet he’s helping you that much?” 

Gerina takes the pressure off Harry. She takes her partner’s hand and pats it as she begins to explain. “Darling, surely you of all people must have read that stuff in the paper about Hathaway Tomlinson, you know the brilliant barrister. Got himself in trouble. It’s pretty obvious, we’ve come here for lunch before to get to hear Eleanor play and Louis has been accompanying her. He’s Hathaway’s son. Any son of Hathaway’s has got to be quite gifted. No doubt his father hired all the best private tutors for him. I recall years ago when Eleanor graduated I wrote her a recommendation for a position tutoring a child in the Tomlinson family. I’ve never made the connection that would be Louis. Anyhow that was manybe four years ago, I think Eleanor applied to replace a tutor for the family. No doubt if Hathaway paying for someone with qualifications like Eleanor’s he’s hired all the best teachers for his son. What surprises me is that in your ethics class, that professor Miller here hasn’t assigned your class an essay of something to do with that situation rumored about the barrister. It seems pretty shady to me from what the papers say. Wouldn’t you agree Harry, since you and Louis are, how did you say? Together?” 

Harry genuinely blushes. “Yes, on both accounts. The situation is shady. Was shady. And yes we are like, together-together. I’m actually here today because Louis is playing with Eleanor for a kind of surprise for his guardian. She is sitting over there with that group that’s at the tables reserved for ‘Mrs Visser’s birthday’. She came here only hoping to hear them perform together. She didn’t realize a lot people would be here to surprise her for her birthday. Eleanor is late though.” Harry pauses, he’s curious, should he ask? “But did you say you wrote Eleanor a reference after she graduated. How old is she? I thought she was only a few years older than me.” 

Gerina gives a look like she is searching her memory. “Oh goodness, lets see. She’s about twenty two I guess. She was a child prodigy. She came to university early. Talk about a family with a shady past, that girl needed to be away from her home life. While she was here she lived with another professor in the music department who has two daughters about her age. She is very talented, gifted, and I like to support her because I think if she were more...well, let’s just say she’d be pursued by all the best symphonies if things were different. Her family history has made some things hard for the girl. I thought the tutoring privately was a good fit for her disposition. When I’ve heard her and Louis play here on previous occasions she seems to have taught him well.” 

Harry would like to get more information on what Gerina didn’t say about Eleanor. If she were more what? Harry doesn’t ask because he hears piano. Louis is beginning to play as the group who was talking with him achieved their goal of having Louis give the crowd some background music. Harry excuses himself and goes over to the tables where the Vissers are. He sits beside Beck in Soren's empty seat while it appears Soren is in the lobby, on the phone, probably trying to reach Eleanor. 

After a piano concerto Louis gets a mic stand and moves it to his side. He politely gets the attention of the diners. 

“Excuse the interruption. I apologize for the delay of Miss Calder. I’ve been asked to play for you what I can in her abscence. I think I’m going to skip playing what Miss Calder intended for you in case she makes it here timely enough for us to do those arrangements with violin and piano properly. So with your permission I’m going to use this opportunity to play some different pieces, I think Mrs. Patti Visser, celebrating a birthday today, will recall as her son’s favorites.” 

Everyone dining at the Dorchester becomes quiet as Louis begins to play a song. Harry knows it from Louis frequently playing it on guitar. The song is not a classical piece. It is a song called ‘Boxes’ the Goo Goo Dolls. When Louis begins to sing Harry instantly sees the effect on people, mostly the effect on the people invited to be with Patti. Many of Patti’s friends stare at her as Louis sings. 

“I need a family to drive me crazy, Call me out when I'm low and lazy, It won't be perfect, but we'll be fine, 'Cause I've got your back, and you've got mine, You got mine,” 

The impact of choice of song has Patti pushing her plate back and sitting up straight, eyes wide open. She puts her hands over her mouth. She’s riveted as Louis sings on. 

”We'll have tiny boxes for memories, Open them up and we'll set them free, There'll be bad days and some hard times, But I'll keep your secrets, if you keep mine, You are the memory that won't ever lapse, When twenty-five years have suddenly passed, Wherever you take me, it's clear I will go, Your love's the one love that I need to know, Your love's the one love that I need to know, Take my picture and then you laugh, Keep your memories, but don't live the past, I'm looking forward to the best days we will have, You are the memory that won't ever lapse, When…” 

As Louis is mostly finished performing this song Patti is moved to tears. It must be bittersweet for her. She has to know the song was special to Aiden when he was alive and the song has new meaning for those who knew him in his death. Grayson and Troy sitting on either side of Patti are softly rubbing her back. She has tears streaming down her face. The emotion is intense but the general crowd unaware of its significance. They are simply seduced by how beautifully Louis plays the song and his soothing voice that is perfectly suited to the particular song choice. Louis has a raspy quality sometimes when he sings. Harry himself is living the rapture because this is so lovingly beautiful and simultaneously sad. 

Louis begins playing another song that has a very distinctive piano opening. As soon as he does Harry knows it’s another Aiden playlist. Another guttingly emotional song. 

Louis sings “We'll do it all, Everything, On our own, We don't need, Anything, Or anyone,” 

With the significance of the first fifteen words Patti simply lays her head on the table, her plate aside, as this next song clearly digs into her heart. Hearing it Beck and Grayson seem to be fighting the tears too. The sting of what Snow Patrol song, ‘Chasing Cars’, meant between Aiden and Louis grips the family. Soren is still in the lobby, by phone trying to reach Eleanor. Troy is sitting there with his family listening intently, trying be stoic. 

Louis continues. “If I lay here, If I just lay here, Would you lie with me and just forget the world? I don't quite know, How to say, How I feel, Those three words, Are said too much, They're not enough,” 

”If I lay here, If I just lay here, Would you lie with me and just forget the world? Forget what we're told, Before we get too old, Show me a garden that's bursting into life, Let's waste time, Chasing cars,” 

“Around our heads, I need your grace, To remind me, To find my own,” 

”If I lay here, If I just lay here, Would you lie with me and just forget the world? Forget what we're told, Before we get too old, Show me a garden that's bursting into life” 

“All that I am, All that I ever was, Is here in your perfect eyes, they're all I can see, I don't know where, Confused about how as well, Just know that these things will never change for us at all” 

“If I lay here, If I just lay here, Would you lie with me and just forget the world” 

Troy gets up from the table when the song is nearly over and walks purposefully through the room of people eating lunch to say something to Louis. When he finishes a brief chat with Louis, Louis looks back to where Patti is and he makes this gesture with his hands. A prayer gesture. Then he speaks into the mic. 

“It’s been suggested I play something that would make my—would—be—should—have—been—future—mother-in-law less sad. I’m going to have to switch, if you’ll permit, to guitar for this. Oh, and I will need some accompaniment.” 

Harry is sort of not sure who Louis is expecting, Harry looks at Beck like he’s expecting Beck might be called upon when Louis says the surprising thing. “Since I happen to know somebody here knows all the words to this song, sang it in the shower last week, I’m going to insist Mr Styles come up here and help me out. Harry, please?” 

Louis’ eyes, piercingly cerulean meet Harry’s with some wicked determination. Harry is so startled that he slips off his chair where he was sat at the table beside Beck. Beck stands to pull the strangely suddenly awkward Harry up. The group of party invitees all turn to look at Harry with expectant smiles on their faces. They have no clue how nervous Harry is like he’s never been before. They seem to thinks this is planned for this birthday person, Patti. Beck sort of pushes and drags Harry until suddenly Harry finds he is standing beside Louis with Louis adjusting the mic for Harry, plugging in the cord for the amplifier to his guitar like this is one big practiced event. Harry is sort of regretting they brought the damn guitar now. Sure, they had to bring the guitar because Louis came from Harry’s flat with it because after this performance he was going with one of the Visser’s back to the Visser’s home ahead of Harry to help with home birthday preparations for the just family gathering later. Family-Visser which now seems to include both Louis and Harry. Meanwhile Harry’s assignment was to be picking up the cake when it’s ready and bring it there. 

Harry looks at Louis when Louis has stopped fiddling with the guitar. He nods at Harry as the only indication that things are set. 

”Why are you doing this to me?” Harry asks. Self conscious, Harry feels very self-conscious. Funny that, the escort who can walk anywhere dressed like sex is actually nervous. He feels more naked than he’s ever been and not in a good way. Louis isn’t nervous in the slightest. He’s the most like himself he’s been all day. 

Louis’ smiles a very smug-pixie smile like he’s completely enjoying this as he gives simple advice. “Sing this exactly like you did in the shower, sing it for me, me only, and it will be fine. Your voice is to die for. Patti wants something less sad. My voice is not right for this. Yours has that perfect deep, growlie, sexy-thing to it. And if you forget a lyric, just make shit up. That’s what I do.” 

Louis starts playing. Harry knows the song. He’s learned it from Louis playing when they are alone and Harry’s doing his school work independently. Another Aiden favorite, the song is the ‘One Headlight’ by the Wallflowers’. It’s lyrically sad but overall more uptempo than the other two songs Louis performed alone. As the guitar leads off Harry’s pretty sure he doesn’t remember singing it in the shower but then he does know the song has been stuck in his head for sometime so maybe he was singing it without recalling that at the time much like how people can forget talking to themselves. 

Harry immediately regrets some of the lyrics as they come in the opening of the song. “So long ago, I don't remember when, That's when they say I lost my only friend, Well they said she died easy of a broken heart disease, As I listened through the cemetery trees, I seen the sun comin' up at the funeral at dawn, The long broken arm of human law,” 

Lyrics like “lost my only friend, died, cemetery, funeral”... didn’t Troy just ask for Louis to do away with the sad? 

Harry goes with it though, he almost changes the “she” to “he” but then that would make it more like this is another song about Aiden and Harry just stays with the lyrics sort of hoping it skews away from that interpretation. 

“Now it always seemed such a waste, she always had a pretty face, So I wondered how she hung around this place, Hey, come on try a little,” with the start of the chorus Louis leaves his spot off to the side of Harry, stepping in and leaning so he picks up singing with Harry. It’s electric. Their voices in harmony. 

“Nothing is forever, There's got to be something better than, In the middle, But me and Cinderella, We put it all together, We can drive it home, With one headlight,” 

Harry is so elated by how this feels, he sees the reaction from the dining lunch crowd, part of Patti’s group or not ther air is filled with this energy of something great. It’s delayed that Harry realizes that as Louis started sing with him, there is a third player joins them on this song. No, not Eleanor. Unexpectedly, Professor of fine music, Gerina Poust, took up playing the piano. The original by the Wallflowers track has a keyboard so the addition of the Pinang gives the presentation greater authenticity. It’s then also, a keyboard in support, that Louis switches from playing strictly the song’s rhythm on his guitar to do more more lead guitar applications after he takes one quick look back at Gerina, giving her a smile for joining in. 

With the next verse Louis leaves Harry’s side to force Harry to again take it solo. Harry never considered how much he does sort of sound like the Wallflowers lead singer. Harry also kind of likes that they’d got some of restaurant patrons on their feet so they can see this trio more from the back of the large room. 

”She said it's cold, It feels like Independence Day, And I can't break away from this parade, But there's got to be an opening, Somewhere here in front of me, Through this maze of ugliness and greed, And I seen the sun up ahead at the county line bridge, Sayin' all there's good and nothingness is dead, We'll run until she's out of breath, She ran until there's nothin' left, She hit the end, it's just her window ledge,” 

Louis, who had listed away from the mic as Harry took the verse with such perfection, comes right back to Harry’s side by the transition to the chorus, leaning in again to harmonize with Harry for the chorus. Harry loves how it sounds when they sing together, voices blending, so perfect because Louis’ voice is so different than his own. 

”Hey, come on try a little, Nothing is forever, There's got to be something better than, In the middle, But me and Cinderella, We put it all together, We can drive it home, With one headlight,” 

It is clear people watching are unaware they've never practiced this. Once again Louis leaves Harry to cover the verse. 

Harry likes that this time he has the presence of mind, some subtle, growing confidence so he feels comfortable enough to turn toward Louis and just sing to him like lovers do; like Louis said when he drew Harry into this. “Well this place is old, It feels just like a beat up truck, I turn the engine, but the engine doesn't turn, Well it smells of cheap wine, cigarettes, This place is always such a mess, Sometimes I think I'd like to watch it burn, I'm so alone and I feel just like somebody else, Man, I ain't changed, but I know I ain't the same, But somewhere here in between the city walls of dyin' dreams, I think of death, it must be killin' me,” 

This performing begins to feel good to Harry, almost natural, now that he lets himself enjoy it. What he loves most is how Louis is looking at him like he is everything. Him. Not Aiden. Harry himself is everything to Louis in this moment. 

Final chorus. Louis comes back to Harry at the mic. Leans close. Their voices marry one last time to finish the song. “Hey, hey hey come on try a little, Nothing is forever, There's got to be something better than, In the middle, But me and Cinderella, We put it all together, We can drive it home, With one headlight” 

The crowd lets loose with raucous applaud when this tune ends. From the lobby and other smaller Dorchester hotel restaurants, pubs, more people are flooding into the room to hear what is not like typical Dorchester mid-day entertainment. It’s becoming standing room only in the room. 

Louis seems totally at ease with this. It’s like at the park. People come. He gives a very directed, applause over to Gerina before turning away from her, back to Harry who he gives a different signal of appreciation. Louis just licks his lips. It’s subtle. Only Harry would know it’s suggestion. Oh how Harry wants Louis like Louis is implying. Letting Louis use the mic Louis addresses the crown about this unexpectedly, untradional concert-like thing that happening. 

“I’d like to say thank all of you for tolerating our diversion from the music planned. Now that I have a couple friends here to help me I’d like to do a song for Ms Patti Visser. Her son Beck’s favorite. Oh, and it’s a bit faster,” Louis hands Gerina some music from his open guitar case. She must know it because she waves him off with a nod “yes”. 

Harry wishes Louis would give him a clue what is coming next rather make assumptions but it only comes in the form of the staring rift on the guitar. A very happy go lucky opening leading into the song ‘Every Day’ by Sugar Ray. Louis leads off singing. “Every morning there's a halo hangin, From the corner of my girlfriend's four post bed, I know it's not mine but I'll see if I can use it for, The weekend or a one-night stand...” 

Louis steps back leaving it clear Harry needs to go next. Like they’ve reheased this Harry gets the next word out right on beat, “Couldn't understand, How to work it out, Once again as predicted left my broken heart open, And you ripped it out, Something's got me reeling, Stopped me from believing, Turn me around again, Said that we can do it, why’ know I want to do it again,” 

Equally seamlessly, like its rehearsed, they take the chorus together, which is no small feat; it requires two for the overlay of the lyrics. “Oh (Every Morning), Oh, (Every Morning when I wake up), (Shut the door baby, don't say a word), Oh, (She always rights wrongs, she always rights), (Shut the door baby, Shut the door baby,” 

Louis is giggling at what he can see is Harry's flat-out stunned disbelief they pulled the challenge off but they did. Harry repeats the verse Louis sang the same as from the opening letting Louis continue to giggle his way through trying to not loose his way in his playing guitar because he’s having so much fun. Louis love games. 

”Every Morning there's a heartache hanging, From the corner of my girlfriend's four-post bed, I know it's not mine and I know she thinks she loves me, But I…”

The song, Every Morning, ends with the large dining room packed full with people. The hotel guests who were there at the start are joined, almost overwhelmed, by other guests who were in other dining rooms but were drawn in. Even persons who were passing through the lobby saw a buzz of activity came in to see what is up. Some of those who are watching, the younger people, were dancing too. Many of those dancing are young women, nearly all overtly captivated, taken with Harry. 

There’s a large applause and a huge delay with it after Every Morning. It’s likely Louis doesn’t see, not Harry either, that Patti has come up, though it’s a struggle to get through the crowd to the raised floor where Louis and Harry, a piano with Gerina remaining like she’s waiting for what Louis throws out next. Patti does a signal for Louis to come to her. He leans down and she whispers something. Louis looks at Harry with an uninterpretable expression then back to Patti and nods yes. 

Louis said something to Gerina. She has his phone on the piano with her and she give a few first notes a try to which Louis nods so it’s clear she’s working this out but not familiar and going to try her best. With Gerina set to accompany Louis steps over to Harry. “Not sure you know this one. I’ve been working on it. Patti requested it because it’s not a song influenced by Aiden. She remembers me Aiden talking about me, my feeling, why I wanted you to be my friend. To me Aiden was always perfect. But sometimes we need someone who is not. Maybe if you’re like me, Broken, you need a person who is a little damaged too. So this is a little something about you to me.” 

Harry doesn’t have a chance to process “about you to me”. He kind of gets that Patti has heard this song when Louis has done it before. She and Louis have discussed it. Discussed how it has something to do with his feelings about Harry. Harry is still constantly trying to understand how, when, why back when Aiden was alive it became acceptable from Aiden’s point of view for this professional escort, who’s gay, to be a friend with Aiden’s boyfriend when it was clear the escort had eyes for Aiden’s boyfriend. Maybe this explains some of that. Harry sits on the edge of the piano bench as to not interfere with Gerina playing but to see the screen of Louis p’ phone which displays what Gerina is using to do the music. 

The song, Louis is correct, Harry doesn’t know. He will forever after though. 

Louis puts his guitar down. Signals Gerina, she begins playing. The song is titled “Broken” by Lovelytheband. It’s relatablity Harry hits Harry like a meteor. The song is about wanting love; how one wants for another who is broken like the them. 

“I like that you're broken, Broken like me, Maybe that makes me a fool, I like that you're lonely, Lonely like me, I could be lonely with you,” Louis sings. He stands there with one hand on his torso like he’s reminding himself to use his diaphragm so his voice will be stronger. Louis voice, though is fraility, as much as the lyrics make his efforts sting Harry. 

Harry isn’t aware but the words sung next are rewritten. Louis leading the story to his own personalization. It’s something vague to a general audience but Harry knows what follows “I met you one day, at the park,” is a story of them, swith Louis slicing out original lyrics about a trust fund baby and a Brooklyn party just like how he told Harry to do when Harry sang ‘One Headlight’. In Louis’ case his words are deliberatively rewritten. 

Harry will also learn later how Louis altered only few words in the next two lines original, “These aren’t my choices, this can’t be my fate,” before doing a complete flip on the song’s original point of view and the gender. What is not lost on Harry with about “choices” and “can’t be my fate” is the way that is a direct reference to it’s not Louis’ choice to be used by Hathaway. No, no more than it can be his fate to have the abuse continue on. 

“He grabbed my face and that's when I said, I like that he’s broken. Broken like me. Maybe that makes me a fool, I like that he’s lonely, Lonely like me. I could be lonely with him. There's something tragic, but almost pure, Think I could love him but I'm not sure, There's something wholesome, there's something sweet, Tucked in his eyes that I'd love to meet.” 

The sting of the poignancy created by the lyrics travels through Harry’s entire body. How strong Louis is to say something so personal. So vital. Vital to his potential for happiness such that he’s shared this, or Aiden did with Patti. And this song, this one is about he and Harry. 

Heart pounding in his chest like it might burst Harry listens as Louis stills the room with the emotion. “Those weren’t my choices, That can’t be my fate, He grabbed my face and that's when I said, I like that he’s broken, Broken like me, Maybe that makes me a fool, I like that he’s lonely, Lonely like me, I could be lonely with him, Life is not a love song that we like, We're all broken pieces floating by, Life is not a love song, we can try, To fix our broken pieces one at a time, I like that he’s broken, Broken like me, Maybe that makes me a fool, I like that he’s lonely, Lonely like me, I could be lonely with him, I like that he’s broken, Broken like me, Maybe that makes me a fool, I like that he’s lonely, Lonely like me, I could be lonely with him” 

Once Louis is finished he sort of stands there his eyes closed his face directed downward. Harry thinks he sees Louis shudder. And like that Louis wheels around. He gets his guitar, he gives no indication to Harry or Gerina. Instead he starts playing again. Harry is reeling of the implications of the last song. Maybe he’s. It ready to leave it yet because it was painfully true. Harry, working as a prostitute is indeed broken too. He’s just always lived with denial of it, but the idea of that is pushed aside quickly because it’s not long before some people catch on the the tune being something by the band The Script. 

The song? 

The Man Who Can’t Be Moved. This time Louis leaves almost every word of the lyrics intact except the pronouns “she” are changed to “he”. Louis has the song nearly done with Harry perplexed if this is another cooped as a song-of-them or if it’s one of the Louis-and-Aiden song’s because the “street corner” lyric doesn’t exactly fit either from what Harry knows. Before Harry can think of this more he sees Louis, song nearing its last run of chorus looks at something in the room that makes his expressive eye brows furrow. 

Harry looks to see why. It’s Eleanor approaching. She is having a hard time getting through the now packed crowd of people in the restaurant. The sight of her makes Louis rigid. Harry can’t be sure why, but with Gerina’s comments Harry is certain that it is not happiness to see Eleanor on Louis’ face. 

So Harry leaves the bench where he was next Gerina who was only listening somewhat enthralled with Louis it seems. Harry goes to Louis’ side. 

Louis smiles a tiny smile as he’s singing and gives Harry room to slip beside him at the mic. They finish the chorus, the part that essentially requires the affect of two voices for a cover to mirror the original. Harry at Louis side. Eleanor turns and withdraws when she sees Harry beside Louis. Her pulling away allows Harry loose himself in the song because of how he likes their voices blending affects him. Louis must too. He even nudges Harry to take the lead to finish the song with him singing the echoing support passages. 

Harry sings, “'Cause if one day you wake up and find that you're missing me,” Louis echos “(find that you're missing me)”. 

This approach to the cover continues. Harry leading confidently because the response of the crowd takes Harry to where Harry is no longer nervous. He’s actually excited and enjoying this. Louis is effervescent when Eleanor slips away and he can focus on having Harry join him. Harry thinks Louis is proud of getting him to reveal this talent that Harry himself never realized he had. The pride in Harry shows in Louis’ eyes that sparkle, his smile for Harry that he struggles to sing through as they finish the song together. “And your heart starts to wonder where on this earth I could be (where on this earth I could be), Thinking ' maybe you'll come back here to the place that we'd meet (to the place that we'd meet), And you'll see me waiting for you on our corner of the street, 'cause if one day you wake up and find that you're missing me, (I'm not moving) and your heart starts to wonder where on this earth I could be, (I'm not moving) thinkin' maybe you'll come back here to the place that we'd meet, (I'm not moving) and you'll see me waiting for you on our corner of the street, Going back to the corner where I first saw you, Gonna camp in my sleeping bag I'm not gonna move” 

The swelled crowd brought into the restaurant by this performance has even the lunch patrons joining in an applause when the song ends. Soren has made it through their ranks. Harry and Louis only notice this when Soren comes to Louis side of the raised floor to speak with Louis. Louis has to put his hand at his ear to hear Soren as the people applauding are so loud. Louis looks displeased with the private tête-a-tête-à-tête. He does nod at Soren then he talks intothe mic. The crowd hushes immediately. 

”Thank you for that reception. I’ve just been informed that Ms Calder is here. I’m going to take a minute to compare notes with her about what we will play for you. It appears we have about twenty minutes more in the time we are expected to fill so excuse me for one minute and we’ll be back.” 

Soren is waiting for Louis. Harry searches the crowd for where Eleanor is. Most of the people who made up the standing room only audience for the impromptu mini concert are leaving with Louis announcement so it’s hard to see who is where. Those who stay are the people who were at the lunch time venue for the classical offering sanctioned by the Dorchester. Harry tries to stay focused on Louis, being lead by Soren, occasionally stopped by people who a new fans, when Gerina distracts Harry. 

Gerina is all smiles. “Mr Styles you are going to have to come by my office next week and meet with me. After what I heard today I insist we discuss you’re career path and what you hope to achieve at university. Why are you not in the Music Program? With a little voice training you could have a great future. What are you studying anyway?” 

Harry can see Soren and Louis slip out into the lobby. Eleanor is standing there. The trio of Eleanor, Louis and Soren are being bombarded it appears from this distance with people wanting to still talk to Louis. Harry would like to be there but Professor Proust is giving him no opportunity to join the three. He stumbles over his words at first. 

“Um, what? Oh, what am I studying? I’m interested in business and finances.” Harry starts to leave with that. Gerina doesn’t pick up on his distraction. 

“I’m sorry, business? Isn’t that a snore. Son I think we should talk. You could do a business degree with a music emphasis. That would be smart.” 

Gerina is starting to say more but Harry sees Louis is being moved away from the high foot traffic area like it’s an attempt for to stop the flow of exiting fans from diverting the conversation away from what Eleanor and Louis need to discuss. Harry says he’s sorry, can they talk more later and excuses himself so he can see Louis. 

For some reason everything is coming together in Harry’s mind. The way Louis is around Eleanor. The way he a l w a y s is around her without reason. Without reason? Or...and then Harry thinks about the party. The reaction of Louis in the spin the bottle game when questioned about sex with a girl. The way Louis was when Sara and Cole suggested a group sex thing thing. 

A sick feeling overtakes Harry. He too gets stopped by “fans” when he leaves the formal dining room entering the expansive lobby area where many people who invaded the dining room for hearing he and Louis are lingering. He tries to politely brush them off like he did Gerina as he goes toward Louis with Eleanor. Soren is off to her side listening. It seems they are still being interrupted by the fans. Standing near one of the many elevators when the door opens, Eleanor and Louis step in though Louis is sort of pulled in by her. Soren stays at the lobby side of it seeming to suggest pesteringly determined girls from sticking with them. 

The door slides shut. Harry’s approach is more determined with Louis disappearing from his sight. Harry refuses to acknowledge any fans plaguing him. Soren sees him and smiles and he is sending away the persistent fans girls. 

“Harry, got some kind of following don’t you two! Wow, great job.” 

Harry thinks only of Louis. He ignores Soren’s glee. The sick feeling deepens as Harry sees the lights above the elevator indicate the floors the elevator slowly passes. “Where are they going Soren?” 

“Just taking a ride up so they can talk uninterrupted. She’s really really upset to be so late. She wants to make sure they have a good plan so few songs can be maybe the best to select to do so she doesn’t get in trouble with this. She’s worried about loosing the gig. These girls are sorta making that hard and she can’t waste more time.” 

Soren says that as Harry sees the elevator doesn’t stop until it goes to the rooftop floor where it’s penhouse guest only. 

“It’s stopped.” Harry says. 

“Okay. So they’ll be right back. Why so intense Harry? Not used to you being like this.” 

Harry repeats that it’s still stopped as he signals for one of the concierges in the lobby who he can see across the way since most of the crazed, fan-girl like types have thinned out from the lobby space. The concierge comes to them politely asking how he can be of service. 

“Excuse me. If the elevator is stopped on a floor does that mean the people are making it stay stopped there?” 

The concierge sees the light is on for the penthouse. “But of course. Someone has the door open. Someone riding the elevator is staying in one of the penthouses, I presume?” 

Harry’s concern grows. “What do you mean? No. Neither of them are hotel guests. The two people on this elevator are here was playing music for the lunch guests. They only went up the elevator to get a private moment, to have someplace quiet for a minute to sort out what to play next.” 

The concierge looks baffled so does Soren now. 

”Sir,” the concierge says to Harry, “the only way the elevators go to the rooftop floor is if the persons in the elevator have the security code for the top floor. All other guest can’t take the elevator up there.” 

Harry is about to ask about why then is the elevator on the penhouse floor if only Louis and Eleanor entered it when some security personnel and another suit wearing concierge or manager suddenly come to the row of elevators. Some alarm is sounding. The elevator next to where Soren and Harry is taken by them as yet another guard shuts down the remaining elevators units. 

The concierge they were speaking with gets distracted as the guard says to him ignoring he was talking with Soren and Harry like this is critically important, “Emergency practices. No guests to go up any elevators or stairs until we clear the roof.” 

The concierge seems confused to his meaning. “Clear the roof? What do you mean clear the roof?” 

“Overide that elevator that’s stopped up there so it stays put at this point. Safer that until we assess damages. Some idiot just landed a small helicopter on the garden of the one of the penthouses.” 

The concierge looks astonished. “There’s not landing pad up there.” 

The guard says, “Well there is now.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Playlist:  
> ‘Boxes’ Goo Goo Dolls  
> ‘Chasing Cars’ Snow Patrol  
> ‘One Headlight’ Wallflowers  
> ‘Every Morning’ Sugar Ray  
> ‘Broken’ Lovelytheband *but try an acoustic version to get the right effect.  
> ‘The Man Who Can’t Be Moved’ The Script


	44. Chapter 44

The idea of some emergency happening at the hotel becomes obvious when outside the Dorchester emergency responders from three different groups of public safety, law, fire and medical begin filling the streets. Drawn into the lobby by this activity is Troy followed by Beck searching for Soren, Eleanor, Louis and Harry. With the street filling with these public servants, Troy’s demeanor changes from curious to concerned as soon as he gets sight of the hotel securty activities at the elevators, the presence of Soren with Harry with a security guard, but no Eleanor or Louis. The rapid onslaught of emergency personnel entrying the hotel hastens Troy’s pace to Soren and Harry. Likewise the serenely calm lobby is suddenly a place of chaos.

A fire official accidentally bumps into Troy hard as he scoots to the hotel manager in a rush. Troy is not frettered; he just greets his son and Harry with his traditional unflappable calm, despite this blooming chaos, metering his emotions in Troy’s practiced sort of way.

“Where are Louis and Eleanor?” Troy asks.

“Elevator, they went up a couple minutes ago. Only the elevators are all stopped now because someone landed a helicopter on the roof outside one of the penhouse suites. Apparently even though there is no landing pad.” Soren says with a strange look on his face as he adds. “Louis and Eleanor took this elevator up. Their elevator has gone all the way up to the penthouse floor even though we’ve just been told that the access to the roof suites is by a private code only.”

Troy turns to Beck. “Go tell your brother to take your mother home, immediately. I want you to then come back, stay with Harry. Soren, come with me.”

Troy walks toward the main reception of hotel where staff are a flutter of activity with there being many coordinations executed between the outside emergency responders and the hotel’s own personnel. Harry overhears one fireman’s radio as he passes Harry. The radio gives a report from someone that the helicopter appears to be stable, apparently as seen by an aerial view of the Dorchester. The person saying, “...stable, siting right on top of the garden patio. Damnedist thing.” 

It looks like despite the expectation that Troy would be no one of consequence to the hotel he has the detracted attention of some hotel staffer, a manager, amidst the calamity as Troy is also using his cell phone while taking with the Dorchester manager like they are in three party conversation, Troy, the manager, the person on the other end of the phone call. Beck appears quickly back at Harry’s side, the distraction of this allows Harry to take notice that Grayson is escorting his mum as instructed. Patti is looks worriedly back over her shoulder to Harry and Beck as she’s lead by her other son out the exit with some of her friends in tow. So much for a great birthday, Harry thinks. Meanwhile back over at the main reception the man who was talking to Troy comes to the elevator with Troy and Soren where Harry and Beck remain waiting, the elevator that Louis disappeared into. 

Most of the traffic of Bobbies or firemen have gone up stairswells so the lobby is temporarily less congested and slightly less impossibly loud although meany guest who were dining in the various restaurants are confused about how to get to their rooms s the elevators are shut down. At the elevator that Eleanor and Louis took the security guard is still standing it’s Harry and Beck when the manager, the one Troy was speaking to, instructs him. 

“Overide this. Put this one back online, bring it down.”

The security guard inserts a key. Next he inserts a second key into another port. The lights switch to indicate the elevator is now heading down. 

Harry is sweating nervously as the unit starts it’s decent. He realizes that Beck is rubbing his back. It is Soren’s face that says it all. It’s a mix of hope, fear and confusion.

How can an elevator seem to take so long? Even when it reaches ground floor it seems to sit stagnant with doors painfully slow to open. 

The door does open.

It’s empty?

No.

Sitting on the floor, legs bent, her on knees, long brown hair fallen over her legs so the cover her effect over her lower legs with a few fingers sticking out make it look like Cousin It from the Adam’s Family, all hair and feet, is Eleanor. Only Eleanor. No Louis.

Soren rushes in and grabs her. Hair falls way as he makes her stand, her eyes are closed by choice as her face shows some strain. She has a cut on her cheek like she was hit by something. Soren yells. “What the fuck have you done! Where is Louis? What did you do Eleanor, what did you do?”

Distracting them is the sexurity’s chatter on the guard’s hip secured radio. It says the worst. There’s static then the repeat sounds more clear so Harry, Soren, Beck, Troy the Dorchester manager, the guard all hear it, “Repeat, it’s off the roof. The chopper has lifted off. It’s heading south east.”

When they hear this Harry, gentlest of souls, fills with an urge to strike Eleanor. He is not alone in the urge. Soren almost reacts to put Eleanor into the wall. It’s Troy who takes her from Soren’s hard grip and passes her over to the security guard with Eleanor staying in this weird eyes-closed, slightly wobbly, trance like she could faint or she fears to see those around her. 

She stammers her claim. 

“He said he’d take me with them. He said he wouldn’t hurt Louis. He promised, but he lied. It was a lie! Maybe if Louis had stayed calm, not panicked as soon as the door opened. It was like Louis knew when he saw the ‘P’ for penthouse.” 

Troy has this inexplicable command over the situation. Whatever he said to the Dorchester manager it’s made him alpha. “Secure her, the London City Ploice need to speak with her, but first let me get a few things clear.”

Troy takes his phone out. He tells someone more than asks, but tells them in away, “You are tracking that helicopter that was perched on the roof of Dorchester.”

He must have confirmation because that’s all Troy says before he turns to talk to Eleanor with haunting calm. 

”Clearly Hathaway Tomlinson was staying here. Had this planned before, so when you conveniently skipped perfoming at our house for the party, made it imperative, that orchestrated mishap did, that Louis, only Louis, would be able to bail you out by performing with you here. All planned so that Hathaway would be here waiting staying in the penthouse. You had the code for the penthouse floor. Were you up there with Hathaway earlier when everyone was waiting for you or were you just told to be late, play the damsel in duress so you had a logical a reason to be alone with Louis, to bring him up to the elevator, to penthouse to Hathaway. Did Louis see you use the code? Oh, but then the double cross, the scourge Hathaway, decided only to take Louis, to leave you behind.”

Eleanor finally opens her eyes. She nods. “Yes, he’s been here for sometime. I’ve been here to see him in the days leading up to plan. I had the elevator code. Louis didn’t see me enter it because Louis won’t look at me. He called me a serpent of the devil on the way up, before he even knew what was coming, like he sensed it somehow. Hathaway promised me earlier he would not hurt Louis but Louis fought him from the instant the door opened. That got Louis slammed into the open elevator door pretty hard, twice, until Louis became docile. I begged his father not to hurt Louis, that’s when he hit me. Said my use was done, enjoy prison. I swear, I never meant for Louis to be hurt, again, he promised me we could go to Greece together, the three of us. He promised we could try again, me and Louis. He wanted to make me Louis’ wife, or so he said. Maybe it was all a lie.”

The Dorchester manager seems confused. “Hathaway Tomlinson. The barrister? The documents we have for our penthouse guest is another name, not Tomlinson. He had identification in that name, credit card, everything...”

Troy huffs like being duped is beneath him. “Secure her.” He says to the manager and Dorchester security guard before he turns to leave, “Lads, we have a chopper to find. That thing can’t be taking them as far as Greece.”

Beck stabilizes Harry because suddenly Harry knees are feeling weak. At least he’s feeling the weak-knee faintness as a contrast to a blackened-rage feeling in his core where his heart should be. He’s not sure which is strongest because he got waves of emotions ebbing and flowing. The thought of Louis again....in Hathaway’s control. 

Soren can’t let it be about Eleanor. He was a pawn. A convenient idiot to put Eleanor into the family so Louis’ moves could be follwed and manipulated. Hathaway and Eleanor used the anniversary and Patti’s birthday to snare Louis. Soren starts to leave but turns at the last second and lashes out. 

“You’re so much worse than a snake, snakes are just creatures of the earth that do their creaturely tings. You, you, your like Louis said, something from hell. All that shit about your horrible home life as a child, how abusive your family was, it was a lie. Look at Harry, was his life any worse? And what has he done? Betrayed people? No. Used people? No. No wonder that monster of a step father lied to you about bringing you with them, your even too worthless for his taste! Be made Louis’ wife? Louis was to married, in spirit, to our brother, the brother who your monster dream father-in-law murdered at nineteen for loving Louis! Aiden’s blood is now on your hands too!”

Beck has to leave numb-legged Harry to get his brother in an entire body wrap like he fears Soren will be violent with Eleanor in his understandable breakdown. Soren is beside himself with his anguish. Now he and Harry both have Beck leading them away. They follow Troy outside. Among all the emergency vehicles with lights on, traffic a mess on the thoroughfare, they are met by Walter, who is standing all chill where regular pedestrians are being directed away by uniformed officers. Somehow Walter has some pull or clearance.

He offers Troy some information. “Chopper has changed directions. We have two, maybe three ideas of its destination. We’ll have someone heading to each. It’s a very small craft. Had to be to land up there on that small space, some kind of talented pilot too but it’s not going too far before they have to transfer.”

In his numbness Harry’s is thinking “‘Ambassador’ Visser my arse!” Harry is also thinking how he is so grateful though still so terribly scared for Louis. 

They make it to a SUV Harry has seen before. Walter’s. Walter and Troy take the front. The three young men the back. Harry’s heads is swimming in confusion, hints of nausea. What is happening right now to Louis?

*** 

It would be later they would know what happened in the helicopter when the authorities take statements.

The pilot of the helicopter would say he thought the floor (landing pad) was looked odd as he approached. He didn't know at that time that although the client had told him the Dorchester had redone one of their patio gardens on the roof, converted into a private landing pad, that of course turned out to be not true. Only when the rails of his helicopter touched substraight did he realize it was a made for this one time, ploy to getting the helicopter to land for narfarious purposes. He heard sounds as he landed that he knew immediately were not at all good. It would be discovered that the circle with yellow rings was a synthetic overlay. Underneath it was the beautul garden with its flowers, potted shrubs, small statutes, a paradise on the roof where panthouse guest were to take their leisure in complete privacy. Most the features where obliterated when the craft landed, but then it was too late for the pilot to undo the mistake. 

Also too late for the pilot was the possibility to back out of the contract with the client as it quickly spirals into something dreadful. From the US, the pilot had many years experience of flying the massive choppers in the military. As is common for many former military, the man has a history of costly medical problems from his long service. US veterans affairs being what they are, “thanks for your service, health care...no not for you...good luck begins for change in the street corner”, so he’d already spent the deposit on his contract for this Dorchester client on some of his long overdue bills. He claimed to question the client about the sketchy landing platform, the nature of their deal, intending to decline to see it through. However the client replies shrewdly. He poses the question; does pilot really want to break their contract? If he does fine, the Dorchester guest says. Oh and yes. Return immeditaly the $100,000 deposit. Or finish the job and get the $900,00 balance when the destination is reached. 

The pilot admits he looks at this man in his fifties, his stern, hard edge. He’s leaving the hotel with no luggage only a kid. The “Kid”, the pilot described Louis as because he was unsure of what age the boy withthe client was. He describes how the boy was wearing a suit, or maybe a tux, he was not very lucid as he was held in the client’s arms. The pilot admits he regrets staying with his commission, but he has to. He needs the money. 

They enter the chopper. The man buckles the boy. The boy becomes more aware of his surroundings, starts cursing. As the pilot engages take off the boy becomes very animated. He tries to free himself from the seat belt but the client, he takes some straps, binds the boy. The boy’s curses are replaced by the clients. The pilot recalls the verbal exchangepretty weel He States because it was so twisted. 

“Your gay arse has been practically living with that gay whore, at that family’s house, your new gay lover worse than the one before! This one is a total whore! Living in sin with his dick in your hole every damn night while you’re his cunt!”

The pilot says he hears ripping. His mirrors show the client has made much of the boy’s clothing ripped open exposing the boy’s body where seat belt strap allows. The client body blocks much of the pilot’s view but he was able to guess that the man “is on” as much bared skin as he can reach. The pilot hears more horrible abusive rhetoric. 

“His dick in your pretty mouth, making you swallow his cum...”

“His cock buried in your tight boihole while you enjoy coming riding on his dick...”

“I see proof on your skin, his marks he’s left on your body, he’s been sucking his brand on you. First it was that gay Visser lad that you bent over for, now this whore Styles, you just can’t resist being a willing slut for cock like his...”

The pilot’s statement reports that thinks at that time the boy must have tried again to defend himself by biting because something makes the client choose to assault the boy with his fists. The next time pilot reports that he can see the boy, he notices the boy’s face is bleeding, the boy’s head is lollying to the side some, the client seemed to be unfastening pants as much as he can, hands in pants. When his hands go into the boy’s pants, the boy jerks aware of his surroundings again. He shrieks, he is hit again. After that blow the boy is still. 

This, the pilot says in his report, is when he realizes easy money is never good money. There is no such thing as “easy money”. He’s made a deal with the devil.


	45. Chapter 45

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> First the VERY IMPORTANT thing is NEW TAGS - Suicide Attenpt / Self Harm - should be new cautions to forewarn.
> 
> Also there is a pleasant surprise buried in this nasty chapter. See notes at end. Anyone who wants to know the pleasant surprise but can’t read a chapter with the new tags could just read the end notes and you’ll get a spoiler of the good stuff without exposing oneself to the harmful stuff. (I can also create a faux chapter that only has that part of this chapter in its entirety cutting out the harm stuff for anyone who wants that, so just ask if you need that from me.)

By the time Harry was figuring out what Troy was doing on the phone, in commincation with some person who was helping track where the helicopter was going, his phone was buzzing with texts from Ben.

“Harry, sorry to not get back to you lately but about two weeks ago I found him. The father. Thanks to the lists from Ambassador Visser.” 

“Once I had the lead on which NGO had likely candidates, I researched. Found him about a month ago. Investigated his character. Got an idea of what might have gone on between him and Jay before I tried first contact with him” 

“Met with him several times over last two weeks. Nice guy. Really really nice guy.” 

“Never knew anything about Louis. Has an idea why Jay never told him. Regrets that, very sad to learn she died so young, leaving the child. His child. His only son.” 

“Now we should talk before you tell Louis about this. The guy has kids. All grown. Louis’ older sisters; Charlotte, Felicity, Phoebe and Daisy. He and the daughter’s mum are divorced.” 

“His name is Daniel Deakin.” 

“I’m sending you a photo of them. They all are so excited to meet their brother, the girls always wanted a little brother.” 

The photo comes to Harry. It shows this beautiful family. A nice looking man in his fifties, four beautiful young women. They look like Louis. Harry holds in his hands the prospect of great happiness for Louis while in Hath’s hands hold Louis’ fate.

Harry can hardly type his reply. “Turns out Eleanor meeting up with Soren Visser was a plant. Hath has abducted Louis. I’m with Ambassador Visser right now madly driving through London like he’s gone all superspy. He is trying to catch them before they leave the country.”

“What?!? How???”

“Eleanor and Louis were at the Dorchester to play for the lunch crowd. Apparently Hath was staying in the penthouse under an alias. El took Louis up to him. They used a helicopter to exit from the roof, it’s now heading out of London. I think we’re in pursuit...maybe, idk.”

“What? The Dorchester doesn’t have a helipad...”

“Right, like someone said when one landed up there, ‘it does now!’ Clearly Hathaway was planning this for some time. Months of preparation even, since he put Eleanor into the Visser’s lives about the time he left London.” 

Harry doesn’t call Ben and talk live about this even though he needs Ben’s support because he mostly wants Troy to have no distractions from what is a multi person hunt to follow Louis by Troy’s ‘ambassador friends’. Also Harry doesn’t want to burden Soren more about being duped. If only Louis had said something, Harry thinks. It’s become clear to Harry the sexual encounter with a woman was indeed with Eleanor. How does Louis keep the pain all inside? 

It hits Harry. Aiden never wrote about this. He must have suspected. Louis wasn’t giving up the story but Aiden saw it in subtle signs. Suddenly Harry realizes his holding out on doing things with Louis like Louis wanted was intuitively brilliant. The spirit-like Aiden possession that has overtaken Harry isn’t a curse, it’s a blessing. Deep in Louis are wounds and these wounds haven’t scared over, they are still raw. Being patient, against Louis’ demands, difficult as it seems is what Louis needs. Thank god for the ghost of Aiden. 

Another text from Ben snaps Harry from his interlude. It says, “What can I do?” 

Harry texts Ben to say everything he’s heard Troy say. Even if he doesn’t understand it. He piles information over to Ben. Harry just can’t stand the sinking feeling in his heart every second that continues on. Where are they even going? Exchanges between Walter and Troy are few and hushed. Mostly Troy is on the phone. Orienting some plan, a plan to get Louis before the plan Hath has mapped out is executed.

***

The sleek private jet that the helicopter took its two passengers to at a small airfield had a crew of three waiting for them prepped for the urgency of their departure. 

When the small chopper lands the owner of the jet appears from the helicopter to transfer aboard the jet. In his grip he has a companion, the son, they were informed he was in London to collect. The lad, in his teens is wearing only pants. They appear torn at the waist. It takes some effort for master to make it to the waiting jet because the boy is not cooperating. The copilot assists them up the stairs while disregarding the condition of the younger passenger hey are taking on as he is instructed by his employer. 

The attendant for the cabin during the flight is a woman wearing a tailored flight attendant suit like the major airlines would require. This crew were hired for their professional detachment after careful screening by Hathaway Tomlinson for persons of the right character. Or in this case the right character flaws. So while the chopper pilot was not at all comfortable with his situation for such a lucrative earning, this crew was selected and prepared for it.

The selection process was one of the things that would be revealed when later the three would face charges in court for attempted human trafficking. Most of the information about what happened between receiving their two passengers and their arrest would come from the woman attendant. 

Hath’s jet is designed with a combination of seating in traditional forward facing seats, several rows of them so the jet could seat ten in that configuration. Behind the rows of seat was a sort of open floor plan with plush seats and tables arranged in a lounge-like setting. This section included a full kitchen, including bar. This space behind the rows of seats would be where, The Master, as Hathaway expected his flight crew call him, would take the boy he gripped. No sooner did they close the craft door than the struggle between master and son intensify. 

It was short lived as the boy was struck, apparently not the first time from the looks of him, and subdued. The Master put him on the floor while the two pilots took their places and the attendant, said she in her statement, offered assist to The Master who only wanted from her a small travel bag he’d left on the jet from their flight in the week before. 

She gives it to him. From it he takes a pair of hand cuffs the he attaches one cuff on the boy the other cuff to something secure. The only thing he can find to latch the cuff to is something under the back side of the seat in the row closest to the lounge area where the boy is on the floor. With him bound, The Master instructs her to go sit up front, saying he needs nothing else from her other than to letting the pilots know they are ready to go.

Inform the pilots she does. 

She relays to the Master the pilots just learned there is an incoming flight. They are told by the tower to hold.

The Master seems dissatisfied. He leaves the front seating area, pacing in the lounge area near where his son on the floor. The attendant says the boy was strangely quiet until something happened to set things off. She didn’t witness what started conflict but the sound she heard, what she saw next, suggest that when The Master got near his son, the boy must have struck out, likely he kicked his father. This initiated a rage.

She heard The Master collapsed down on the boy, maybe because he was hurt by the kick, or had his feet taken out from under him, or maybe it was just because he was retaliating. 

Retaliation was several hard sounding blows, she didn’t dare look back from where she sat in a seat cleaset to the pilots, bedsides this was unfolding on the floor behind the several rows of forward facing seats so the squirmish was obstructed. Aside from that she was coached for this duty. They were to take The Master and his son back to Greece. The son’s situation was not theirs to meddle in. This is essential for their nice security deposit of 100K each for the work to be paid in full for an even easy one mill. 

She did hear the start of the strangely sadistic talk.

“Should mind you manners. Since you want my attention let’s see what we have here shall we?”

It sounded like the son said “Cyanide pills perhaps.” It was hard to hear him but the attendant in her statement repeated she was pretty sure the son said “cyanide pills”.

The next sound was the sound of zippers like The Master was getting something more from his bag. Following that there’s the sound of fabric ripping, as The Master growls at the boy.

“So willing to replace one faggot for another to make sure you always get a good dick. And this new one, he's nothing more than a lowly whore. Let’s see how he has left you, Eleanor told me you two seem to be together all the time, constantly, every night, so let’s see how he left you when he fucked you last. Was it last night? This morning? Your tiny pink hole always lingers with the sign, it shows when you’ve been pleasingly fucked by its inviting shade of red. Let’s see this boihole of yours.”

Sounds of struggles with the boy saying “no, no, no...” subside when a couple slaps subdue him. 

The Master talks in a more of a cooing sort of way. 

“Oh sweet god, your so beautiful. For so long Daddy has missed this, the sight of you, your luscious thighs, your bum so beautifully made for cock. So sinful how tiny your hole is. The look of it now, looks like the whore hasn’t had you lately, so your Daddy is going to get you when your are so pleasantly tight.”

Some muddled noises follow then the boy speaks in a pleading sounding way. “No, no, never again, you make me sick, sick, he doesn’t touch me, he’s not like you, stop...” 

Somehow the sounds become clear indications for the attendant to drawl conclusions about what is going on behind her. She hears squirting like the sound of lotion extruded from a tube. The Master words certify his actions. 

“While in Greece Daddy made a study of some things. Brought in some boys for his research. Wanted to do you right when I got you back. Want you coming sunk on my cock without any gay whore joining us to screw things up. Now see how nice this is, Daddy slicking your tight little body.”

Words from the boy sound spat out with venom.

“You admit you want boys now, it’s not because of me, it never was, you’re twisted, you’re...”

His words are shut off. The attendant isn’t at all sure why. She hears whimpers. Some rustling of a struggle. The Master seems to win. He sort of comes up on his knees to look over the rows of empty seats between them to speak to her. “Shouldn’t we be going?”

She checks, the pilot’s say more incoming traffic. When she relays this she sees that the upper part of the Master body is unclothed. She assumes he’s completely naked. For certain he’s hovering over the boy. He seems to take the news of delay in stride. Something about his face suggests he’s absorbed with his son. His words confirm.

“Always so good taking Daddy, so good. I only use other boys while away from you for practice, so this time Daddy makes you come all by himself, no whore.”

She hears a new slight struggle between them as the boy protests. A new sound is added; she knows to be like a vibrator. She hears more narration. 

“You should be prepped better than Daddy has done in the past, so this is for you, work your little hole so it hurts less than when I enter you. Should have done this all along before, so you’d be soft for me.”

The boy starts to speak. His hushedness seems odd. The Master supplies why.

“Should I stuff this pretty mouth of yours till you can’t breathe? Would you rather I choke you silent like I used to do while I stick my dick in too hard, too quickly? Should you stop fighting and let me work you open slow and nice like the Greek boys showed me, hum? Which should it be?”

The lad has difficulty saying what sounds like “Should stop, not getting me ...”

He ceases speaking with a yelp. It sounds like the vibrator is sunk in him like The Master is no longer being gentle. The boy makes sounds like he’s getting some unpleasant sensations and struggling to suffer it. 

They should be in the air. The attendant says at this point she used the disturbing thing on the floor behind her as a reason to see why they are not. They’ve taxied but she learns taxing took them away from the tarmac where they were originally met, but once again incoming flights take priority using the limited runways. 

She turns to take her seat and in her standing positions she sees The Master has stopped using the vibrator. She can tell by his body that she can see in part, he’s positioned like he might be pushing himself into the boy. On his knees, his face determined, red, fuled with anger and lust. So few words slip from the boy, “you’ve taken enough from me...” before he’s silenced the boy, perhaps hushed by the choking threatened. 

She sits quickly. In her statement she says she next hears the sound of slaps. Not the hitting kind but the kind made when one body slaps with another. It’s seems fast and punishing. Again The Master supplies why.

“So tight still, so so tight, hot. Hot, tight cunt. So perfect. Fabulous. Your Daddy asked for the best of their boys, all of Greece couldn’t give me one boy so perfect as my son. Ride the shit out of my dick, those boys would, and never, never, felt like this, not even with their best. Daddy’s boy, so fine, so pretty, tight....”

After an extensive amount of time with the sounds of the boy being molested The Master must decide to shift.

“So do it for Daddy, do it, pussyboi...cum for me I know you can. Come on, all you have to do is what you always do, call out his faggot name, Aiden, or call out for that whore, whoever you want to pretend is buried in you now with you stuffed so full! Go on, let yourself go, get yourself off on Dadd’s fat dick.” 

The boy doesn’t give any sounds of being compliant. The Master gets more animate. He’s huffing like he’s short on time before he responds to his pleasure in taking his son raw on the floor of his 00K jet plane while his hired people do their jobs, ignore his brutal assault. 

“Go on now, cum for Daddy, call out his name, any name, as you fantasize making your boihole squeeze me into .....you do it, maybe I’ll reconsider the hit ordered on your whore boyfriend before it’s too late. Or stay like this, like you don’t feel me, make me send him to the same gay maker I sent your Aiden to!” 

The attendant said maybe that was the point it was too much for the son. She thinks, her statement says, it must be then the threat to the son’s boyfriend, seconds after she heard her sadistic employer’s body giving to it’s rush of pleasure, that she hears his reality hitting him of where he’s gone. 

He’s gone too far. He’s hardly shaken his body’s response to the brutal raping of his son when he realizes his son has decided where the end is to be. 

The Master comes to his feet. His naked form ruddy and sweaty from exertion, his dick still hard though hanging to the side it’s condition spent. His face, contrast to his larger mass is blank and white. He tells the attendant who admits she senses alarm, “Get first aid! Now!” 

Her reaction is swift. She to his side before he can remove the handcuffs. So together they see why the carpet floor of the aircraft is reddening, stemming from someplace under the seat where the son was cuffed. Seems the entire time The Master was fucking his son, blackmailing him for barter on the life of some “whore boyfriend”, the son was using the sharpness of the metal frame under the seat, where steel meets steel. Nothing is meant to be against it that is flesh, so the boy was using a raw unfinished metal edge as a razor. 

The Master absorbed in his pleasure and his rage, never realized the red stain growing as he continued his rape while the son made his choice. Death would be better than enduring more of this. A life without love. 

The attendant acted to apply pressure. They positioned the boy so his arm was above his heart. The wrist he’d sliced multiple times trying to find the place to end his misery was draining him. As they face the uncertainty of the time the boy has if untreated the aircraft once again started to taxi. Faced with the unexpected Choice of self-sacrifice, The Master humbly says “stop”. 

***

*** 

Harry has no idea what this building when they pulled into the multi floor garage attached to it. Unlike most businesses it had no signage. Walter drives them up until they reach the top floor. At the top level of the parking garage sits a black helicopter. Unmarked. Shinny clean. Like the building that is their destination this chopper seems designed to be non-descript. 

There is a pilot waiting. He starts the craft before Walter stops the car parked. As soon as they are not in motion, Troy jumps out while telling Harry and his two sons, “Come on the, let’s go.” 

In a few seconds the four of them are in the helicopter that has seating for six as it begins to loft as soon as they are buckled. The pilot has an ongoing conversation that he alone can hear from inside his headphones. He says something to Troy. It’s short, almost cryptic. “Airfield. Diverted incoming traffic has held them from departing.” 

“Held them from departing?” Harry says to Soren and Beck. “So does that mean they’ve stopped him?” 

Troy turns to look back at Harry. “Yes. We’re going to intercept them. They switched from the helicopter to a private plane. It’s stuck in traffic. Traffic we made. We’ll be there soon.” 

Soon seems an eternity to Harry. The sight of a small airport sends a new rush of emotion over him. He sees in their approach there are a number of flashing lights like all sorts of emergency equipment have descended on a relatively small airport. It seems that of all the various aircraft on the grounds one jet in particular is the one of interest. 

“That’s them.” Troy says back to the three lads as he points out the window verifying Harry’s suspicion. 

Harry looks at the Visser boy’s. He sees on Soren’s face his continued anguish. 

*** 

Somehow Harry becomes numb when they are on the ground amidst a swarm of people, some armed police, airfield employees, emergency medical personnel, because he hears someone saying “We’re sending a team of EMTs. They've asked for immediate medical assist. Someone on the plane is in serious condition.” 

Four men wearing light jackets and SnapBack style hats, that have the universal symbol that identify them as medics have gear in hand, moving from an ambulance to approach the jet. Troy goes to intercept them as the move through the crowd so Harry follows. Harry doesn’t hear what the leader of their medic group said to Troy as there is so much noise with all the congestion of vehicles, aircraft, people on radios talking to other people. 

Compelled to get to Louis from Harry mouth comes the strangest demand. “I need to go to with you. It’s Louis. I have to get to him. It’s Louis, I know it is. I have to get to him.” 

Troy and the others are stopped by his unrealistic demand. There are a number of police near where the crowd of people end at the closest point to where they stand back from the plane and he he is this, this...this gangly lad who need to be here at all is worthless in this hostage scenario. All he can think is how it’s obvious whoever goes forward past this police line is going to board the plane for the emergency. Harry has to be among them. 

Troy starts to say something very softly, kind, it’s obvious when he says “Son,” so soothingly. Harry won’t hear it. He interjects. 

“No. I’m not staying here. I’m going to him.” 

One of the medics starts to explain. The words “time is of the essence we were told”, does nothing to dissuade Harry. He latches onto the arm of one medic, the one who seems hestitant compared to the other three who are most determined to get to their call of need. Harry says to the young man he’s grabbed ahold of, “Please. Please, give me your jacket and hat. It’s my boyfriend, I know it’s him, he needs me.” 

Everyone starts to argue with Harry as the jet door extends out and is lowered down. At the top of the steps a woman waves them to come. In that second Harry again says “please” this time tip his hands on both the young medics arms, desperation in his tone of voice and his eyes. 

The young man strips off his jacket hands it to Harry. Hat too high Harry uses to stuff his long hair that he’s quick to twist into a pony tail and then a wound knot so he can hide it by shoving it under that ball cap hat. Like that he takes the folded gurney which the young medic was carrying and he follows the other three. 

Stepping inside the plane the team moves to where the woman points. In the jet behind several rows of seats where the sitting arrangement becomes a comfy loung are two pilots kneeling down along with Hathaway Tomlinson and a fourth person sprawled on the floor. 

The men are on either side of Louis, one compressing his arm the other was doing something that Harry wasn’t able to see because Hathaway is there, half-naked speaking with them until he sees the EMTs. 

A very lifeless looking Louis is slightly covered, not so much that it covers that he’s completed naked, his body shows he’s suffered a battering. 

One pilot moves aside leaving the one who holds Louis’ arm so the EMTs have access. Hathaway steps back to give the four of them more room. They see signs before he explains the emergency to them. “Seems like he’s sliced himself so he’s...” 

The head medic snaps into action as does a second. Hathaway hasn’t seen Harry is there as he’s staring at his son. His face distressed. 

Harry knows from the blood on the carpet and the way the medics deiscuss his critically faint pulse this is as severe as it could be. They displace the pilot who was doing pressure as they have a turnicate established. Asking Hathaway “Blood type?” the third EMT is ready to relay back to someone at their ambulance as his radio in hand suggests, “Wer’re gonna need to start plasma stat,” 

Next that EMT goes on relaying more from the other two who are securing Louis so he can be moved. One of them strips the gurney from Harry who is standing there immobile with shock. They set Louis on it with ease. He seems the tiniest thing Harry has ever seen with his frailty, proximity to slipping away evident in both his appearance and this team’s efforts to do things quickly. The EMTs stand, the pilots had slipped up to the front of the plane where the woman attendant stands shifting awkwardly like she knows she bares some responsibility. Harry is the last of the four who reaches the open jet door to head out when he’s quite literally ripped from his skock-like stupor. 

The three actual EMTs had just gotten Louis to the runway level with the last of third just leaving the lower steps, with Harry behind him just preparing to descend. However when Harry’s lead foot touched the first step down coming from the plane all of a sudden he was jerked so hard from behind that he fell backward. Harry and the assailant both landing back inside the plane on the floor. As Harry fought to break free both a pilot and the attendant acted to close the door. 

Suddenly it’s Harry who is in the jet. A pilot along with Hathaway wrestle him into submission though this takes considerable effort. Once Harry thinks he felt something hit him hard, like not a person but something meant to break his resistance and he sees the attendant has some fire extinguisher in her hand and he feels some funny warm sensation like where she struck he’s bleeding. 

He sort of gives into the setting him in a seat, strapping him in as it seems like the aircraft has started its powering up and taking the runway. Harry is sure this will come to no good end for him yet he’s aware he’s screaming and it’s not for concern for his fate but that he can’t be taken away from Louis, not by Hathaway, not even by death

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yep, I did that. I made Louis’ biological father Dan Deakin. (Troy Austin is too creepy for me to make a bad guy or even the biologically logical father because he deserves to not have any connection to Louis. He abandoned his son and the mother of his child. The nerve of showing back up when his kid is famous.) 
> 
> For sake of the plot, I made Louis’ sisters, Lottie, Fizzy, Daisy and Phoebe, all older. I know this doesn’t work from the standpoint of how all those girls look just like their mother, not at all like Dan. Clearly Dan’s two children with Jay look unusually for Jay’s kids a lot more like him than her. Go with it please. We will just ignore that the four older girls look too much like Jay and pretend (fiction) that their appearance comes from Dan even though by genetic print it’s clear. Jay always makes insanely beautiful babies, usually with her excessively, soulful, large, expressive eyes. This is my fiction; you can make yours better. No reality here. (Except Larry.)
> 
> Hope you will love how that fictional family with Louis unfolds in the story’s happy leg coming up next. Comments?


	46. Chapter 46

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I give you our hero Harry.

*** 

Realizing that the plane was powering into more speed, the runway, like Louis, is quickly slipping away, Harry pushes against the strap that is around his torso that is pinning his arms to his side so tight that he can’t free them. Is this how they were intending to strap Louis? But then something happened, something that lead to Hath’s immediate assault taking Louis even before the jet left England. 

Harry shouts at Hath. 

“The one thing you couldn’t plan for, Louis’ determination! How did he get to cut himself? Did he decided no more, to try take his life rather than submit to being yours again!” 

“How could I know there is some really sharp edges under these seats? How could I know he’d do that, he’s never been like this before...” 

“Yes, yes he has been like this, hate for you, disgust for what you do to him all in the name of fucking the gay out of him! And Eleanor, you made him have sex with her didn’t you? He’d rather go to his grave than be with you!” 

Before what is unfinished between them the jet which seems nearly to speed such that it will lift goes out of control as a sound like an explosion occurs such that the jet dips violently to one side. It’s engines are cut though their loss of power doesn’t stop some inertia from letting the jet swerve on in some path initiated with the loud noise. 

The jet’s wild careening motion does something so that Harry becomes able to side the wrapped nylon webbing strap that bound his torso up, his hands free, before Hath or the attendant realize. His freedom attained Harry jumps with a bound to strike Hath. Like the attendant, he grabbed the handy small fire extinguisher using it to crack Hath across the face causing immediate ghushing of blood from an obviously broken nose. 

To the attendant he bluff swings at while yelling at her to “Sit. Stay.” He makes sure Hath knows he’s ready to blugond him again though it’s clear that Hath tearing eyes from the broken nose make his vision very much impaired. He’s imbolzed with the pain.

The engines of the jet are powered completely off. Harry glances out the window to see flashing light of an array of emergency vehicles. This plane is grounded. It’s occupants aren’t leaving the country.

After the pilots have open the door, lowered the stairs, Harry leaves quickly. There is a mass of police to deal with those on board. 

Harry sees the cause for the failed takeoff. One of the jet’s tires is flat. It’s probably that it was shot. Harry wonders if there was a scene with Troy Visser, surely not Ambassador Visser but something else, was racing along side the plane to fire a one in a million shot with the motion of a car making such precise aim unlikely, but the question leaves his mind instantly when the medics great him, taking him to the ambulance, asking him questions applying aid to a place where Harry is bleeding. Why is the ambulance still here? 

Harry is probably too filled with adreniline and ongoing stress to realize he asks this aloud. The questions he’s answering as the medic check his eyes for signs of complications, takes his pulse, and so on are ones he makes no note of. He can’t fathom why the ambulance is still there, where is Louis.

The young medic, the one who let Harry assume his place and so enter the plane supplies answers.

“We sent him by air-amb. Chopper unit. He’s likely at the hospital as we speak. The local facility isn’t as good with that level emergency but the crew who took him are the best. They have or will have him stabile, there safe, very shortly. Once we’ve checked you over you can go join your friends who are waiting. Their chopper is right back over there.”

Harry is vaguely aware that he sees Hath, the two pilots, the attendant being escorted away in cuffs. He’s aware the shock of all of this is making him woozy. Mostly he’s aware he needs to be with Louis. The medic wants him to drink something. The cool water feels good going down his throat and Harry is aware he’s drenched in nervous sweat. The young medic doesn’t seem to mind. After the hey finish carrying for Harry the young medic takes Harry through the assortment of emergency responders back across some distance toward the black helicopter. Beck comes to meet them taking Harry who only then realizes he’s been leaning on the young medic, like a person does when they have no strength left in them.

Once in the chopper, buckled, it lifts, Troy says, “Son, we’ll be to Louis soon.”

Son. Harry likes the unofficial adoption by Aiden’s family. He wonders how different his life would be if he had his family, if they’d been people like this.

Waking as the chopper lands Harry realizes that he fell asleep in the short time it took to transit from the small airfield on the outskirts of London to central city. Their landing site is at the now too familiar hospital, one Louis has seen entirely too frequently in the past.

*** 

Several hours later the Visser family, all gathered at the hospital, are able to see Louis. He’s asleep. He’s a mess. Patti says what started as the best birthday has become the worse. It’s only then that everyone realizes they forgot about her cake. Harry is sure that his phone, which has died sometime with lack of charge, will have multiple messages from the bakery wondering if he’s still picking it up, but of the group he’s not the one who seems to feel the worse. 

Soren. Poor Soren. Even the sight of Hathaway in cuffs can’t change what he feels his naivety, his being a pawn, has brought upon Louis. 

When the hour gets very, very late, Louis still asleep, everyone decides to leave for the night. Everyone except Harry. Harry has to stay by Louis’ side. It’s early the next day when Harry’s commitment to not leave Louis is rewarded. In a jolt Louis wakes. 

Unfortunately it’s waking in a fleeting state of panic until he hears Harrrys voice. The fear is replaced with steaming tears when he realizes that he’s away from Hathaway, hurting but safe. For the first time that he is safe is a guarantee. Filling Louis in on what happened after he faded from loss of blood, Harry is aware he never did find out who stopped the jet. Funny thing is he guesses it was Troy. 

With a nurse checking in Harry decides to give her space as she is giving Harry’s a funny look. He realizes how much of a mess he must be for being in the same clothes for 24 hours, through so much adventure, blood on his shirt, it’s ripped a little too. He decides to take a quick exit for going home and freshening up. Leaving the hospital he runs into Liam, Zayn and Niall. One of the Visser’s told them every detail of what happened. He’s relieved they will be there with Louis so he can take more time. As he walks past a news stand enroute home he sees the front page of the papers all have the same story in bold headlines. 

They state in a wild chase that began from the roof of the Dorchester the arrest has been made of famous London Barrister Hathaway Tomlinson on multiple charges as he attempted yet another crime in a brash plan to abduct his own son. 

Below the headlines is a picture of Hathaway. The sight of him makes Harry want to burn all the papers, burn them like it makes the monster itself go to ashes. 

*** 

It’s a couple hours later when Harry returns. He has a box of pastries, assuming the other lads will be there still, some flowers and a nicely brewed cup of tea from the finest tea house in the area in a travel cup. Fine tea will have to wait, Louis is sleeping again so Harry prompts the lads to help themselves to pastries leaving the one most cherished by Louis at his beside pastries. He goes in search of a coffee machine in the hospital. 

He finds this trauma ward of the hospital has free coffee for visitors in its waiting room remodeled since Harry was here last. This offer of free coffee and cookies is new since the last time Louis was here. Perhaps someone got the idea that when people are waiting on pins and needles as their loved ones are in dire straights it’s nice to offer them free coffee and some extra comfy chairs, a cookie or two. Harry is sort of checking out the other new aspects of the lounge as he collects coffees for himself, Liam and Zayn. In doing this he notices a man who sits in the waiting room looking out of place. His body language is off. He seems uncertain of himself. Restless. He’s wearing a suit like maybe he was at church and in hands he has a newspaper. It’s folded but he’s looking at it with out opening it to read, then looking around again at everything and at nothing, very stressed. 

It hits Harry. He’s seen this man before. In a picture. Before Harry makes a fool of himself he pulls out his fully re-charged phone, looks at the image sent to him by Ben yesterday. 

It’s the same man. 

Tenuously, Harry says to the man, “Mr Deakin, Mr Daniel Deakin?” 

The man is startled. “Yes?” 

Harry sets the coffees back down, steps toward the uncertain Dan Deakin. “We’ve not met, but I have this picture of you from Ben Winston. I’m Harry, Harry Styles. I hired him to find you, I’m, um, I’m with Louis.” 

Dan shakes the hand in greeting that Harry offers to him. Was Harry clear in how Harry said that? Was Harry supposed to be so direct about things? Ben said to take this slow with Louis, but here’s this man who’s newly discovered his relationship to a child he never knew, in this hospital with coincidental timing, so when would it be right to disclose about Louis’ sexuality? 

Louis’ affiliation is what was theoretically so unacceptable to Hathaway. Will Deakin accept the person he is? Never again is Harry going to tolerate Louis going through any pain for being who himself. So as the implication is out there, he and Louis are together in that way, Harry stands up straighter and waits Dan’s response. 

“Harry Styles. Yes. I’m aware Louis is in a relationship with someone, a young man. The person who enlisted Winston to find me.” Dan says with more nervousness. Harry is about to think this was a very bad idea to introduce himself as a lover except that it seems obvious Dan isn’t sitting here in this waiting room like it’s a randomly place. He here because he’s seen the news. What happened to Louis yesterday brought him here. Before Harry can further overthink this Dan continues on. 

“I realize I shouldn’t be here. I know Ben said he’d get a meeting arranged at a time once, my son, Louis is prepared. I know you were just learning he found me, right, you were just informed by Ben, right? So I know it’s not my place to be here, but I couldn’t keep myself from coming...I needed to come. I need to know how he is?” 

Harry has an overwhelming urge to hug the man. He has revealed that he is not uncomfortable with his of his son’s sexuality, rather Dan is only worried that he’s overstepping his place. All it takes is Harry putting his hand on Dan’s shoulder as he tells Dan he’s welcome to be here before they do hug. Dan gets teary-eyed, states that it’s really, really nice to meet Harry, can he (Harry) just share how Louis is doing. 

Harry gives Dan all the details he knows. This looks to make Dan more nervous, restless. His responding confession Harry understands. 

“I want to kill that man, that monster. I don’t understand how this could have gone on so long. He’s the devil. I don’t even know how a person so loving as Jay could have missed the signs that in his heart he was dead. How could she have married him? She was so perceptive and only loving and giving.” 

“Would like to have known her.” Harry says of Jay. “I’m guessing that when you meet Louis you will see a lot of Jay in him. Louis was her everything from all I’ve heard. And Hathaway was not only deceiving her, he had everyone else fooled except a small staff he molded to his will. To the outside world he was this legend, the most feared and respected barrister in all London. If you would like I will take you to Louis now. He is sleeping. He’s actually been awake very little. I think it would be okay though I should warn you, he’s really quite hard to see like this. It would be less a shock for you to wait some days.” 

Dan looks optimistic at the prospect of seeing his son. He almost smiles. “I would really like to see him now if you think it’s okay. Ben told me that Louis doesn’t know about me yet, but if I could just see him for a second. Please. I never should have been absent from his life. Even if now is a bad time, I’ve got seventeen years to make up for. I want to be prepared for when he is awake, for when he is ready. I need to be a father to my son.” 

Harry and Dan walk into the room where Louis is sleeping. Obstructing view of Louis is the three lads who are standing together all looking at Zayn’s phone as he is showing them some images of something he’s working on. Harry hands the two them coffee who wanted it proceeds to introduce Dan. 

“Yesterday while I was with superspy Visser on a hunt to catch up with Louis the news came from Ben. He’d found Louis’ father. I’d like the three of you to meet Dan Deakin, Louis’ biological father. Dan, these are three of Louis’ best friends, Niall, Zayn, Liam.” 

Harry let’s them have the usual sort of exchange which occurs when something so groundbreaking happens. Meeting Louis’ real father is an unexpected surprise. When the greetings ebb, the three part from their position and Dan gets his first look at his son. 

His face first shows his massively empathic pain for Louis’ state. His hand actually covers his mouth for a second. Next he visibly gains his composure, shakes that sicken feeling off, and goes to a chair right beside the bed, the same chair that Harry slept in all night, and he sits. He is trying to see his son through the bruises and swelling. Feeling embolden with need his hand goes to the top of Louis’ hair and a few locks of hair entertain his finger with his tenuous approach to touching Louis being tender-soft. 

The four friends see Dan is fighting tears. With respect they say nothing to disrupt what must be a hurricane of thoughts in Dan’s mind. The regret he wasnt the father to his son so this happened. The anger for the violations Louis has suffered. The urge to murder the perpetrator. The love he must feel because he asks with such softness, “Would it be okay if I touch his hand?” 

Harry takes the hand on the arm Louis didn’t cut, hands it to Dan. This puts Dan in open sobbing. This brings a passing nurse into the room. Everyone in their signals it’s “okay”. They stay repsectully silent. She mentions only about the pastry, “Too soon for that lads. He’s going be off food for days, poor thing, some tea might be nice but he will be nauseated.” 

After some time Dan tells his impressions. “His hair is the exact same as Jay’s. Same brown with some hints of red. His features so like hers. The shape of his eyebrows, that’s exactly like Jay’s. I see so much of her beauty in him. His hand, it’s like her’s; delicate like made from the wings of angels. His sisters, my daughters are going to love him like nothing else. I can see it now, the twins, will be fighting over him. Fizzy will have to rescue him from their doting over him.” 

With Dan envisioning a time like he described in the future his face lightens. His voice fills with something that is not sad. He continues, his audience of four silent though their hearts fill with joy for this discovery Harry has brought to Louis. A loving father. 

“Their about his age, the twins, Phoebe and Daisy. You see me and ther mum were separated. Seperated when I met Jay. It’s actially the separation that led to me going for a spell to Africa. She wanted me as far away as possible. Peg and I had been on bad terms for years. We had our two girls. Charlotte, or Lottie, our first, and Felicity, who we call Fizzy, our headstrong second child. I always wanted a son. Peg didn’t want more than two. And we were lucky to have the two girls but Peg didn’t feel that way. She hated mothering. Lived for the freedom to have her own independence. She said marriage was a cage to her. Children the chains that bound her. She blamed me for ruining her life by fathering children. So I couldn’t give her enough space. She filed for separation. Said if I wanted to understand her prison sifferage I should not see our girls until out divorce was final. That’s why I took the job in Africa, figured if she didn’t want me to see my girls I’d have to put an ocean between us to make that possible.” 

“I’m an engineer so I went to do construction over there with some local people for new clinic to treat the rural people. That’s where I met Jay. She came in with a group of doctors and nurses as we where finishing the project to get the system working and train local medical specialist. She was so young, so vivacious, like the sun when she came into a room. So positive. And, god she was so loving. The medical people worked long hours and yet Jay would spand most of her time off work being with the village children. She spoke of children like they were priceless, every single one of them even if th were sick or just temperamental. If she wasn’t doing her nursing work she’d always be in a groups of kids play acting, making them laugh. Unlike Peg, Jay was a natural born mother.” 

Dan is only looking at Louis’ hand as he tells the story of he and Jay, all the while holding the bruised hand is the stars to him he’s so absorbed. He doesn’t see how in the description of Jay in a group of kids has Harry trying not to cry; it’s exactly like Louis at the park. Dan continues. Harry and the others are riveted. 

“I fell in love with her. From home I heard from my wife that I was not wanted back. She hated, blamed me everything. So one night, I know it was wrong, I let me emotions get to me. Jay never knew I was married. I’m sure if she did she wouldn’t have been with me. She was so young, I was so in love...” 

Dan seems to jump ahead. Apparently want to and wanting not to indulge in his passion for Jay. “When I left Africa we’d been together intimately only just that once. I got back to England went home to my family. My wife, Peg, met me at the door. Pregnant. She was pregnant again. Apparently our last time together she conceived. The exact thing she resented the most about marriage. I’m not sure how she conceived. She’d said she was using an IUD since she hated being a mother, but there she was. Pregnant again.” 

“By the time the twins were born we were only still living together because of four young ones despite her telling everyone we were separated and I was only there because she needed more than a nanny alone to manage the burden of our four children. I worked long hours, we relied heavily on our nanny for the best care of the girls because, new babies or not, Peg was rarely home with them. When Ben approached me the first time about Jay, about Louis, it brought back an old memory I’d never given much thought to about some woman who came by one day while I was at work not too long after the twins were born. The nanny casually mentioned that some pregnant woman had came by the house while the twin were sleeping. The woman said wanted to see me, it was urgent. Before the nanny could give her my work number she left suddenly. The nanny assumed it was because the Lottie and Fizzy stopped their playing were fussing, fighting having naps, that’s when the twins woke and began crying. She assumes the woman who was very big with her own child, was maybe aware she was disrupting a busy home with very bad timing. The nanny said the young pregnant woman, hearing their were more children, babies, appeared to change her mind about wanting my contact number at work and just left with no explanation of why or what the urgency was that brought her to my home. I never gave that strange visit any thought. Had no clue who the young woman, heavy with child was. I certainly never guessed it was Jay. Not until Winston contacted me. I swear I never knew Jay returned from Africa, pregnant with my child, but must have been her that day, looking for me. Until she realized I had this family already. Thank god Ben found me.” 

Dan has caused the four friends to lose themselves to tears. That was Jay’s fateful decision. Her choice to not disrupt what she probably believed was a happy family. If only she’d realized. 

“Had I known, if I had only known. I was still married but that doesn’t change what I would have done. I would have been a father to Louis, a proper father. I would have paid for Jay’s living expenses so she could be a mum to him. Full time. I know how hard she worked and how much her work meant to her, but she could have had an easier life. Me and Peg did eventually divorce. When the twins were three. I would like to say it’s without me having faults but I never forgot Jay so in a away I was no more commited to Peg and our marriage than she was to me or her daughters. But to have been able to be father to Louis...”

By the time a nurse comes in again to check Louis the room of guests are all wiping tears. The nurse verifies it’s not that Louis’ condition is the cause of it. A she checks Louis, Dan seems anxious for her to leave so he can once again sit by Louis and take his hand again. This he does as soon as she is gone and he shares more of his thoughts. 

“I assume behind those lids he has Jay’s soft brown-colored eyes?” 

Niall giggles as Harry answers. “No, no he’s got blue eyes. Blue like the sea, the Mediterranean Sea. Sometimes though they look the exact same color as yours actually. It varies with his mood, or it seems like that.”

Before Dan’s curiosities can go on Troy and Patti come into the now crowded hospital room. Their surprise about this unexpected guest becomes transformed readily once they learn who Dan is. Dan is greatly appreciative to learn of their long standing continuity in Louis’ life. By the time some hours later everyone except Harry leaves the room the decision is made for the Visser family to get together with the Deakin family sometime soon, before Louis is released from hospital. 

Harry’s privacy with Louis is interupted a few times by a nurse before the doctor comes in for his exam. The doctor doesn’t make Harry leave. It’s the same doctor who treated Louis the last time therefore he’s very aware of Harry and Louis’ connection. Harry likes the young physician and senses the man feels the same about him. He’s exceedingly gentle with Louis even though Louis is asleep the entire time. It’s good though because the doctor has to insert something rectally for treating Louis to ward off infection. It’s then that the added kindness the doctor takes becomes revealed as he works he confides when prompted by Harry’s thanking him for his overtly tender care. Care he could leave to a nurse yet he chooses to allot his time for himself to do everything the doctor explains why. 

“...see I have a little brother who is, you know, like you and him,” the doctor tells Harry, “though he would hate to hear me call him ‘little brother’, but I mean he is gay. I don’t see him very often because our work schedules are crazy. He’s a medic, not in London central but he lives close enough I should see him more than I do. I guess I would see him regularly if he’d come to family gatherings, but you know. He’s uncomfortable doing that. My parents, our parents, very traditional, they sort of accept it sort of don’t understand. I guess they think he’ll grow out of it. Sound familiar? Seeing what your Louis has gone through, I think, how this could be my brother. I would never let anyone do harm to him. At least for Louis here they have finally arrested that bastard. Now all we have to do is get him well and make sure you look after him.” 

When the doctor leaves Soren comes in for a visit. He was waiting outside the door to the room until the doctor finished. Harry sees immediately Soren has the lingering hurt from bringing El into their lives. Harry and Soren talk about this while Louis sleeps. When Soren eventually leaves Harry hopes he can feel better. There was no question in Harry’s mind that Hath was shrewdly playing on Soren’s weaknesses. Such a good looking man but in a family of four gorgeous lads, Soren, though the oldest never shined with the girls like his younger brothers. Even Aiden had repeated pursuits from women despite his status, almost like the girls wanted the challenge. That is until they saw his boyfriend. 

Several hours later Grayson and Beck come in. Somehow when they are together they always seem to bound with playful energy like a pair of oversized Labrador Retriever pups. They lighten the room with their brotherly competitive banter. When they leave it seems too quiet. 

With Harry alone in the room again Harry realizes Louis is breathing different. It’s the only warning that Louis is waking. Wake he does once again it’s with a startle. Pain and panic overwhelm him and Louis is not able to loose his fright as quickly as Harry would like because he’s in such a wretched state. Harry sends a signal to the nurse station and they are quick to assist, to change the setting out the drip of meds so to sooth Louis but this doesn’t stop Louis from transitioning from writhing pain to an onslaught of tears. The entire scene has Harry ill from it, too much in love with his partner to see him like this, too much in love to shield himself from it a leave the room momentarily, as one nurse suggests until they stabilize Louis. 

The young doctor comes to the room, one of the other nurses must have sent for him. He assess Louis with Louis in this traumatized wakeful state, decides to alter the meds completely. In time Louis settles down in to a near slumbering state. The doctor decides they should stay with that new cocktail of meds, some pain reducer, some sedative something else Harry didn’t understand. 

Alone with Louis in the room Harry sees in Louis eyes that though he’s awake he’s sort of not there. It doesn’t stop Harry from sitting as close to Louis as he can. He allows his head to rest on the side of Louis’ bed so their faces are close enough to nearly touch as he starts to tell Louis everything that comes to his mind that is pleasant and peaceful. His soft, deep voice comforts Louis. Soon Louis is back to sleeping. Harry, stressed, tired and hungry now too, drifts off as well. He’s woken at midnight when a nurse comes in sliding a big, stuffed chair she’s swiped from the nice newly remodeled lounge. With her, assisting her, is Niall. On the chair he’s got some boxed take-out food Harry can tell by the delicious aroma. It seems Niall was on his way to bring this to Harry when he stumbled into the nurse dragging a big comfy chair to this room. 

The nurse explains she’s been in a couple times to check on Louis and seeing Harry sleeping there, his head awkwardly cocked to the side, looking like it will cause him pain for days to follow she decided to rectify the situation. Niall confesses that he was with Liam at dinner and wondering if Harry was going to feel comfortable enough leave the hospital to eat or not. By late night Niall decided a day without a filling meal was doing no good for Harry and in turn not going to help Louis either. 

The nicety of their actions hits Harry in the morning when he wakes early with Louis fussing the cause. Louis settles quicker this time but he remains in the state of somewhere between wakeful and sleepying for a much shorter time before succumbing to sleep. 

Harry is still in his clothes from the day before. It’s Monday and he should be off to his morning classes, but he’s sure he can’t leave Louis, when Liam comes in. He’s dressed for work at the hospital. In hand Liam has coffee, a muffin, that is still warm, and some clothes. They are Liam’s own but he’s brought them for Harry. 

Harry eats first then changes as Liam explains. “My shift starts in three hours. I’ll stay here, you go to class. When I need to start my shift Patti will be here. She’ll stay the rest of the day. So you should go home, after class, take care of yourself and come back whenever you want. Oh, and the nurse that brought you the chair last night left you her number. She has the late shift tonight too so she says to call her if there is anything you want her to bring you later when she starts her shift at eleven. Zayn is coming by at ten, he’s got a thing tonight so he’ll be here after that. So it’s all covered. Off you go to class. Louis will be upset if you let this cause those grades you’ve been working on drop down again. Go make him proud.” 

*** 

Harry goes through the motions in his classes. That is until he walks into Ethics. Professor Miller is there early. That’s a change from the professor’s usual routine. Profession Miller typically walks in right the second the clock hand indicates class starts like he’s a eterial being, above his students, never one to waste extra time of his on them. Soon enough Harry realizes Miller is only in class early to see Harry before the other students arrive and are seated. 

Miller goes to Harry. “Saturday was indescribable. Are you okay? Why are you here? Is he okay? What happened after the Dorchester?”

Harry can only say “He’s awful. Totally broken. It’s all I can do to stay with him and not let him know how it looks. That’s if he even will wake with the realization he’s not in Hathaway’s control.” 

Miller looks to be processing. He becomes less pushy for info and more comforting. “Okay so after class I’m having lunch with Gerina. Would you join us? We’ll talk over things and see what it is you need people to do. You shouldn’t let your recent effforts slide but this is entirely too much for one young man alone. You told us Saytrday he was your tutor, we can get you some extra help. Also some department admistrators might allow you to delay finals if this recovery of his is draining you as your are his...” 

A fellow student coming to speak to the professor makes him delay his words. She wants to make an apointment with him. Harry knows because he’s been there, the look on her face, she got a badly marked paper and is feeling the pinch of Miller’s style of critical motivation. Once she gets her appointment time the class is all seated so Harry agrees to meet for lunch. He has an hour between morning and afternoon classes.

*** 

Lunch with the two professors is a good thing because breaking news is that Fugitive Barrister Hathaway Tomlinson, and several others charged in an attempted abduction of the barrister’s stepson, are in court today facing an arraignment for multiple charges. It’s like a circus from the looks of the reporting flashing across all news channels. Even in the quiet dining room reserved for university professors and their accompanying guests, their is a flurry of gossip about the sensational circumstances of the story. Miller being an ethics professor has fellow scholars coming to his table to get his opinion. Without hesitation he shuns them, sending them off without comments so as to protect Harry from more drama. 

The kindness these two professors show Harry at this hard time is rewarded by him recounting every detail of Saturday for them starting from when Eleanor tricked them into giving her the chance to go into the elevator alone with Louis to how Louis was when Harry left him this morning. By the time lunch ends Harry has assurances the two will act on his behalf to get his other class professors to work with him on leeway, tutors, whatever so he can get through his term as best as possible. 

It’s funny, Harry thinks as he goes home to shower and change into his own clothes before going back to the hospital, he’d never imagine Professor Miller would be so human under all his gruff, demanding rigor. Funny how it is when one gets to know someone.


	47. Chapter 47

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this took so long. The next update might take a little longer too just because I’m so busy, unavoidably busy. I’ll do my best though.

Harry arrives back at the hospital after a brief stop at his flat following his day of classes. 

Patti is at the hospital, as Harry expected, sitting in Louis’ room. Louis is sleeping. She tells Harry that Louis was awake twice during her stay and once while Liam was there. It’s clear to Harry that she thinks this should make Harry happier. It doesn’t. He worries that Louis woke in his terrified state and without him but Patti supplies encouragement about Louis condition by saying, comparably, Louis is adjusting to the reality that he is not with Hathaway. That he is safe. Patti does also carefully admit to Harry as to not alarm him that she is concerned about Louis’ level of pain, his state of emotional exhaustion. 

Over the next couple of days managing Louis’ pain and the emotions of processing what happened are the primary drivers in his recovery. The swelling is coming down but the bruises darkened still so even though he is waking with more ease, staying alert a little longer, though it is hard for Harry to measure the improvements. 

Harry becomes a nightly guest in Louis’ room until the morning. All the night shift nurses take a liking to Harry. They begin doting on Harry das much as their patients, checking on him during their shift. When Louis is moved to a new ward with his condition becoming more fair the big overstuffed chair, one from the nicely refurnished trauma ward waiting room that Harry would sleep in, went with Louis in the move. This, the nurses said who made this happen, is so Harry still has his comfy chair to sleep in each night.

In addition to Harry, Louis’ friends and the Vissers, the regular visitors include Lou, who comes by Louis’ room before and after her work at the hospital and Dan who comes every day before work. He always hope to see Louis but still remains out of the room if Louis is awake. Even when he can’t sit with Louis he maintains he needs to be there to follow Louis’ progress. 

One morning Dan arrives very early. Harry was waiting for Patti before leaving for morning classes when Dan has a nurse go into Louis’ room to see if Louis is sleeping. He is, so Dan joins Harry in the hospital room as Harry is slowly preparing to leave. Harry has taken to a pattern of brining next days clothes with him each night, sweat pants to sleep in. He has a shower each day after classes, gets fresh clothes for the next day, before coming back to the hospital for the night. Niall or Zayn routinely bring Harry dinner although if the hospital cafeteria has anything good on hand Liam will bring something to Harry should he be at the job there.

On this morning, with Louis sleeping, Dan is exited as he hands Harry a gift box that is unwrapped, telling Harry to open it, because he wants Harry’s opinion on what it is.

Inside the rectangular box is a nice photo album. It has no photos yet, but the leather binding is attractive. Dan explains. “If you think Louis will like this style, I was thinking I could fill it with pictures. You know, so you could use this when you tell him about us, me, his sisters.”

“That’s a great idea.” Harry’s says. 

Dan brightens up at Harry’s acceptance of the idea. “Good, great. And I haven’t found them yet, but somewhere in boxes buried under other old pictures are pictures I took when i was in Africa eighteen years ago. Most of them were of work stuff, boring, but I know I have some pictures of the nursing core, the doctors and the village. I’m a hundred percent certain I have several that include Jay. I thought I would include those.”

Harry was momentarily speechless. When he recovered he stammers at first. “Y-You, you, you have no idea! That is massively brilliant! He will love that. I will talk to him about you soon so put it together with the pictures as soon as you can. I just think Louis should be a little stronger first. He still is so weak, they say he’s doing better but I worry. I don’t want to add more things for him to adjust to until he’s confident that he’s going to truly be safe now.”

*** 

The day is a hard one for Harry at school. He forgot there was a quiz scheduled in one of his classes. He tries his best; tries to use the test strategy Louis has taught him and the knowledge that the quiz only counts for very little of the total class grade so he hopes for the best.

When he gets to the hospital later Louis is awake. Beck and Patti are with him. 

The feeling in Harry when he enters the room whe Louis smiles seeing him is unbridled elation. Harry goes to Louis cradling Louis’ face as lightly as possible so to not hurt where there are bruises so Harry can kiss him. 

The kiss, the softest Harry can do, is reciprocated by Louis with Louis’ hands sweeping over Harry as if to pull Harry closer. 

The kiss leaves Harry sort of warm and tingly, he knows his stiffening in his pants is visible when he steps back. Beck and Patti ignore things. Conversation returns to where it was before Harry walked in. Why isn’t Louis starting to try to eat yet Patti asks because the nurses brought him jello and he’s not touched it. Louis blames nausea. Is the doctor coming again tonight? Louis doesn’t know. He changes the subject and wants to know how everyone else is, especially Soren.

“Soren is fine other than massive feeling of guilt.” Patti answers. 

Louis interest in Soren gives Harry the courage to indulge his curiosity. “Louis, why did you never say anything about how you knew Eleanor couldn’t be trusted?”

Harry regrets asking as soon as he sees the way Louis looks awful like he’s confronting an ugly part of his past when he thinks about the answer. “I don’t know. I wanted Soren to be happy. I thought maybe she was a changed person. People do change sometimes. I thought maybe she was in love with Soren, maybe it meant she was growing a heart with Soren the cause, and different than the person I knew.”

Patti pats Louis on a blanket covered foot. “You’re so sweet Louis. Kind to have faith in people. Soren will be okay.” She stands up signaling Beck. “You look tired again Louis. We should go so you can rest.”

She give Louis a kiss on the forehead, says she’ll see him tomorrow. Patti and Beck each hug Harry and bid him a goodnight. As soon as they are out of the room Louis works himself over to one side of the very small bed, patting the space he’s made, “come here, next to me, please, tell me about today, classes.”

Harry obliges though the bed is very tight for two. As soon as he’s settled Louis wraps an arm across Harry, lays his head on Harry’s chest as Harry talks about his day and like that in a snap Louis is asleep.

This is how Zayn and Niall find them later. Harry’s limbs are painful from lack of movement but he admits he won’t move until he has help so to make sure Louis is gently detached from him while remaining asleep. Louis stirs only slightly when Harry leaves the small bed but he settles back into restful sleep immediately. Harry has the good fortune to receive from the two lads the meal they’ve brought from Payne’s, not the usual carry out fare of most places, so Harry finds it makes his typically diminished appetite spike given the food is so very exceptionally good.

By the time the two friends leave Harry and Louis its late. Too late, so Harry decides not to look at his work he’s brought from school. Besides something in him needs to be back closely snuggling with Louis. He desides to get into his sweat pants and lay down again with Louis, tight fit in the tiny bed or not.

Louis’ breathing induces Harry into sleep. 

Hours later Harry wakes because he’s in a pool of sweat. Louis being on his chest feels searing hot. It’s a challenge to extract himself but Harry manages without waking Louis. Some dim light filters into the room from the hall. In the light Harry thinks Louis looks different and with Harry not so tight he should be less hot but after slipping into the restroom for a pee and returning Harry senses something with Louis isn’t right. 

He switches on a small light in the room. Sure enough Louis looks flushed. To the touch he still feels unusually hot, surely if it was caused by Harry sleeping by him the heat would have dissipated some by now. 

Sickening feelings override Harry. He hits the call nurse button.

The nurse confirms Louis is feverish. This onset quickly because his records show a doctor, not his usual physician, but some other doctor saw Louis earlier and had no signs of anything abnormal. 

In seconds the room has two additional nurses. They speak fast, in terms Harry sort of follows, for certain they are alarmed while practicing professionalism. One of them strips way covers to expose more of Louis, another removes the layers of gauze and wrap that was around Louis’ cut arm. Beneath the wrap the arm looks blotchy and horrid. The nurse clarified that because of his fever, but despite her attempt to put Harry at peace their exchange leads Harry to understand something is very wrong. He thinks about how Louis said earlier he was feeling nauseated, information which Harry shares with them, just before one nurse calls for the doctor on duty. 

When the doctor arrives, not Harry’s new doctor friend who always insist Harry call him by his first name, Eric, but another physician. Harry is kicked out of the room. It’s 2AM but Harry makes phone calls. He can’t go thru this alone.

It’s 6AM before anyone comes to inform them that, while it’s a setback Louis has suffered, but to be assured it’s not something the hospital hasn’t dealt with many times with complete success. The sinking feeling stirs in Harry. All he wants is to be back with Louis. He should be leaving in a hour or so for Uni but today Harry will skip classes and stay by Louis’ side. All the others decide to stay, except for Troy who has to be at work, Liam who actually has to be at his job at the hospital, so he’s still more or less here anyway. Included among those remaining is Dan.

Sometime later in the morning Dan’s face lights up as he sees someone familiar. Walking into the waiting room with a huge box of pastries is a beautiful young woman with long blond hair. Following her is a taller, equally beautiful woman with long, dark hair. The second girl has a big thermos like the tea shops let’s customers lease when they buy it full of coffee or tea. She also has a stack of paper cups.

Dan greets them. “Lottie, Fizzy, girls, thank you. Come, let me introduce you around.”

Louis half-sisters look a lot like Louis. Different sure, but the family resemblance is there. Lottie in particular is diminutive like her brother. Fizzy has a Louis-quality that registers, even in an initial meeting. She has a touch of atttitude suggesting like Louis she is an innately fierce person like the football persona Louis. Once everyone has met, pastries consumed, a notable thing slowly dawns on those waiting together. It registers that there is some sort of spark ignited between the oldest sister and the oldest Visser son.

Sitting off from the group together talking like they’ve been friends forever are Lottie and Soren completely absorbed in conversation. Similarly Fizzy and Grayson are deep in conversation but theirs seems much more like that of persons who’ve only just met and it’s not them alone exclusively; Niall is sort of chiming in a little with those two or Beck. Meanwhile the body language between Soren and Lottie’s has a palpable degree of “I’m so into you”. 

Harry smiles. He looks at Beck. Beck winks at Harry’s confirming he sees the sparks flying between them too. Maybe Soren will be okay afterall. So now what about Louis.

When Harry stops secretly watching Soren with Lottie he sees another familiar face. Eric, doctor Eric is walking toward them. With him is the medic From the ambulance that was at the airfield. The one who gave over to Harry his jacket and cap so Harry could sneak onto the jet. It occurs to Harry the medic looks a lot like Eric. It’s clear the doctor Eric Johnson is just coming on duty, also that he’s making his way to this group of Louies. 

He’s greets Harry first, then Patti, he gets introduced to all the Louies he has yet to meet by Harry. Laughing he makes a comment on how the fan club for Louis keeps growing, acknowledging Lottie and Fizzy as “new Louies”. Next he introduces his brother, Mitch. 

“I spent my day off yesterday with me and Mitch doing some overdue brother things since we don’t see each other very much given our work schedules are kind of crazy. Mitch is in medicine too,” Eric says acknowledging his brother like the “little brother” as Harry knows this to be, is an equal, a fully licensed doctor of medicine. “I came in early because someone on staff called me about Louis. Since Mitch had a role at the start of this insanity, he wanted to see how things are with Louis too. If it’s okay with the fan club I’ll leave Mitch with you all, go see what is the status and get back to you. Pretty sure Dr Spencer has things under control. Don’t expect me to be long.”

With that Eric disappeared through a door marked medical staff only. Mitch makes it a point to take a seat by Harry. 

Harry wonders if the little brother knows that his older brother revealed to Harry that he is gay. Mitch, like Eric, is a good looking chap. He’s just the type Harry would go for, if.

In a short time Harry has gotten a little of the story of Mitch’s family dynamics from the younger Johnson brother’s perspective. It paints a bigger picture of what Eric already told Harry. Harry thinks going forward he’d like to remain friends with Mitch. That’s when Eric comes back. He’s got his white doctors coat on, stethoscope dangles from his neck. He looks practiced calm.

“In a few minutes three of you can come to see Louis. We’ve moved him back to the other unit. His condition is fair, but we want to take precautions. His body is having challenges to such a great deal of trauma, but he’s a fighter. He’ll will make a full recovery.” 

The way Eric looks at Mitch after he speaks as questions start to fly tells Harry that Eric is hiding how much this trauma was giving them a run for their money. Mitch keeps his reaction stoic, ever the trained medic, no inflation of emotion when loved ones are involved. 

It’s Harry, Patti and Dan who go see Louis. Louis seems to have shrunk into a even smaller person than he already is. He’s asleep but it’s clear his darken areas where bruises are have gotten darker yet still like they are attaching themselves to his core for permanence. These blemishes make every contour greater in contract to normal. In some ways he just doesn’t t look real. Harry sits beside the bed and puts his face into it. There he remains as he cries while trying to hide it. He knows this doesn’t make it any easier on the two standing behind him. They rub his back and do that talk people do with wavering voices when they are trying to convince themselves with all the right words said. 

It is true. Louis is a fighter. 

*** 

It was said Louis release from hospital was not delayed much by his setback, but to Harry it seemed and eternity by the time the day came. He was being released on a Saturday. Harry had gone through a rough week of classes despite the assistance of some new tutors and constant encouragement by a couple of professors. On the drive from the hospital to the Visser’s, Harry wonders if could he could tell Louis that he really wants to take incompletes in his courses so that he can spend the rest of the term with his days filled with him just being with Louis. He knows Louis won’t hear of that. So. 

Meanwhile in the sear beside him, Louis sits with his leather family photo on his lap. His hands hold it like it’s cherished. Harry gave it to him a few days ago and went through each photo as he and Dan rehearsed though most of the pictures have notes with them written by the Deakins. This way if Louis turns to the page with to the funny picture of the twins with a birthday cake where one of them has frosting in her hair, the note was written by Phoebe explaining, “Our tenth birthday and Daisy decided I needed a frosting Mohawk!” 

The most impactful photos are the ones of Jay. Harry knows that sometimes Louis spends hours looking at them. Since Hathaway took originals of Jay from Louis over the years as a motivational ploy, it remains the only actual pictures Louis has are those Lou Teasdale gave him so these are significant treasures to Louis. Today new photo memories will be made. Later, after Louis is settled at the Visser’s and had a rest, the Deakins will come for a party to welcome Louis home. It will be his first time meeting Dan, Lottie, Fizzy, Daisy and Phoebe though Harry has been preparing him for it. 

Louis stays quiet on the drive until they take the second to the last turn before the Visser’s. “What do you think he did with all the pictures I had of me mum? Do you think I’ll ever see them again?” 

Harry’s stomach gets a queasy feeling. “I don’t know. I guess though they will be found. Seems like when his trial is done something will have to happen regarding personal affects deemed your own property. I’m guessing Troy will have some action taken to see to that.” 

Louis nods. He seems to drawl some strength from holding the new photo album in his hands. 

They pull into the driveway seeing signs from there that the home is decorated for Louis’ welcome home celebration. Harry parks, jumps out, goes to get Louis’ door. 

Taking Louis’ hand it seems still smaller and more frail than it should be. Louis looks up to Harry as Harry helps him and he smiles, his eyes clear and bright. It makes it easier to look past the ever-present dark circles under Louis’ eyes that the doctors assure them will fade in time. Harry stops them there and with Louis between him and the open car door kisses Louis. “Welcome home” he says to end their kiss. “Let’s begin our happily ever after.” 

Harry gently pulls Louis with an arm around his waist. It’s about time the horrid stuff be put behind them once and for all. 

*** 

After a few minutes of the Visser family settling Louis and Harry back into their home they are left alone upstairs where Louis and Harry decide to stay in what had become Louis room because, unbeleivable or not, in the short amount of time since the day had begun just the act of being discharged from the hospital and the drive home has made Louis feel tired. 

He’s got hours before other friends, the Deakins, will arrive for the official party so he lies down to take a nap. Harry lays with him too enjoying being able to cuddle close but still have a real bed with plenty of room. Not that Harry wants any distance between them. 

Somehow Harry manages to fall asleep too. Maybe it’s Louis’ soft breathing, or his scent, but it’s a couple hours later when they both wake, one inducing the other. Somehow they fall into some soft kissing. This action soon leads to some stirrings. Harry slips away to come standing, pulling Louis up. Slowly he strips himself and Louis as the walk with arms and kisses keeping them in step as Harry leads Louis moving backwards toward the bathroom. Once in the bathroom Harry starts some water to warm. He takes in Louis’ form as Louis remains quiet. It’s like they are both assessing the other since it’s been so long since they’ve been together, stripped naked like this. 

“Come on you.” Harry says as he takes Louis’ hand, steps into the shower, makes sure Louis has his support as Louis follows. How much longer would some of the signs linger? Something about Louis is sort of hard to characterize. It’s odd given that he no longer still has all of the bruises, though for sure his arm still looks a mess, and those dark circles, it’s something else. Maybe how thin he is? 

Perhaps Harry’s face gives aware his fears because Louis turns away from Harry. Puts his bum against Harry’s body and presses back into him hard. He bends forward some, it’s be perfect for doing what Louis is suggesting but Louis laughs, repositions facing Harry, kisses him hard, tongue penetrating Harry’s mouth only a short while before Louis begins kissing along Harry’s neck. Stopping to mark Harry Louis laughs as Harry’s erction is found by Louis’ hand. Louis is about to drop to his knees when Harry stops him. 

Harry pushes Louis gently to steady him into the shower wall before Harry goes to his knees. He keeps a hand steadying Louis on a spot where normally on Louis’ belly there’d be a tiny poof of extra softness. Now it’s gone, the spot is not only flat, might be called concave because Louis is too thin. Putting that concern aside Harry takes Louis’ erection in his mouth in one long slow decent of its length. 

It’s an easy quick process to have Louis coming soon. So soon that Harry nearly misses his chance to put an index finger back between cheeks to be place over the puckering entrance as to feel how it spasms too which is a thing Harry loves to feel when Louis is orgasming. Someday, he knows, he’ll feel that sensation when that entrance is filled with his cock, a sensation that must be so narcotic that it’s at least driven the man Hathaway Tomlinson mad enough for it to do the unthinkable. 

*** 

Hours later Louis is looking a mix of beautiful and nervous. Beautiful because his color seems, for the first time since before the incident, to be mostly normal. Only just mostly because Louis is still a little pale compared to his normal honey glow and he has those dark circles under his eyes. He is however looking a bit flushed with rosiness to his cheeks. His lips look deeper pink than normal. Like Beck jokes under his breath as he passes them in hurried last minute predations for party guest, “...someone appears have been properly welcomed home already,” adding a wink and a slap on Harry’s back. 

Harry sort of wonders about Beck more and more. Is Beck boarderline gay-curious? It would be usually in a family with four kids for two of them to be gay, but whether it’s that Beck is just being Beck, or that Beck is perhaps ...verisitle, Harry sort of wonders if he should try to set up Beck with someone. For a fleeting second Harry conjure an image of Beck and Dr Johnson’s brother Mitch. They would make a striking couple. 

On the subject of striking couples, Harry notices how Soren has chosen to dress particularly nice for a very casual party. You’d think it was party for him. While Louis is wearing a simple combination of a sloppy neck tee and jeans, Soren is wearing dress pants and tailored silk shirt that shows his physique. He seems more nervous about the Deakin’s impending arrival than Louis. Harry smiles. 

Most of the guests arrive early to be in place to see Louis’ reaction when the discovered family arrives. Liam and Zayn are for the first time allowing everyone to openly see them as a couple. The football team friends haven’t seen Louis at all since before he was hospitalized so they come in mass and sort of pass Louis around almost literally to make sure each one gets to hug him, pat him on the bum. Notably one member of the team is not with them. Good decision, Harry thinks. 

The second the five Deakins step into the home they adopt Louis in a family hug. All of them. Phoebe and Daisy keep saying “aw, he’s so cute!” And begin arguing over who gets to do what with him first. Meanwhile Dan seems to be trying to say something more significant amidst this but none of it can be heard by those outside their circle of love since everyone watching is either crying with tears of happiness and laughter, or applauding or saying their own thing about how sweet this is. 

***


	48. Chapter 48

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Pretty short update.  
> I wanted to post as quickly as I could. Thanks for the patience with the big delay; my girls (my students) kicked butt! (I’m exhausted, happily so!)
> 
> Promise another update soon. Thanks for reading!

The weeks that follow the welcome home party set a new trend. No longer is Louis mostly Harry’s to spend time with. Since his biological father and four sisters entered hs life Louis is in demand with them constantly. Years to make up for, the Deakins make daily plans or at least every other day plans to be with Louis. Harry finds it’s a rare thing if he gets much time alone with Louis, Harry tries to consider this a good thing since the fall season is rapidly fading, yielding to winter. With it his first term at Uni is nearly over with Harry failing to confide to Louis that he is still striving to recover his grades to where they were under Louis’ tutorage before Louis’ health became Harry’s sole priority such that his grades began to suffer again.

So it is that Harry is sitting at a table with five other students working on a group project at the library even though it’s a Friday night. Hours before this group met Harry spoke to Louis by phone and was glad to learn that Louis was going to a movie with Daisy and Phoebe. They would drop him back at the flat so Harry had hours to do this assignment with his peers. He was glad he was assigned a group of the top students in the class even though Harry knows the prof assigned him with this group of the best students in a deliberate attempt to have their academic strengths rub off on Harry’s work. Harry is the weak link. He tries not to let the others know he is aware of that. This is clealry one professors way of helping him.

The five students include two women and three other men. Harry can’t help but notice how the two women are always overtly much nicer to him than they are to the other male students. It’s based on an attractiveness thing; the girls are subtly flirting with Harry. It’s nothing new with these two girls. In class they sit together and are always competing to say something nice to Harry before or after class. Or they are always whispering to each other while looking his way.

This group of six is newly done with the assignment when the two students sitting directly across from Harry at the table looks past Harry at something eye-catching. Suddenly Louis is there standing at Harry’s side having come from behind Harry. 

Louis slaps a paper down on the table beside Harry his hand making a smack noise loud enough to direct attention from everyone in the area to this table. Although Harry’s paper is under Louis’ hand the hand doesn't cover the big red C minus grade at the top. With it also doesn’t cover a comment in red handwritting from the professor. “Please see me about this.”

Harry is sure he is the same shade of red as the ink. Louis bringing this to show it to him in front of this bright group of students is the cause. But Harry notices he’s not the only one who’s flushed. Louis who still remains a bit too thin, a bit too easy to tire, dark circles under his eyes lingering like they are his new norm, is also blushing. Only difference is that Louis appears to be blushing with anger.

“What’s this Harry?”

The students look on as Harry avoids glancing at them or at Louis like the paper is fascinating to stare at. “It’s a paper.”

“Right Sherlock. A paper. With a lousy grade an an offer from the prof, to speak to him, maybe to do it over. Did you talk to him? Or is this grade still standing?”

“Um. Well. I think, I think maybe I still haven’t rewritten it, maybe...”

“Maybe? So why then did this professor call you at the flat tonight to talk to you?”

“You’re saying he called the flat and that he told you I had a poor mark? Why would he do that? And just how is it that you found the paper? It wasn’t sitting out in plane view. Didn’t realize what a little snoop you are Louis.”

Louis looks taken back for a bit. He recovers. Harry knows the snoop comment was petty and unnecessary. He regrets it immediately. It was Louis who had turned his performance around in every class, remarkably. Even now with new tutors for each subject their efforts are less effective than Louis’. There’s just something about Louis. He has away to make things fun. He’s creative in his explanations. He frequently does things that are unexpected and they cement in Harry’s brain tricks to remember what Louis teaches him. One of Harry’s favorite “tutoring” sessions is the time Louis was quizzing him on boring memorization stuff for a class where Louis used an approach of positive incentives to keep Harry awake as they worked late into the night. As they sat tougher on a couch, each facing the other, legs extended between them so feet touched in the center of the cushions. Every time Harry got an answer right Louis tossed him a grape from a bunch he had beside him like Harry was his pet performing tricks. When Louis ran out of grapes as they neared finish, Louis started with a reward of removing an article of clothing. For the final question, correctly answered he, Louis, rewarded Harry by slipping between Harry’s legs and sucking him off. Now that is one effective tutor. There’s no one like Louis.

But here Louis is frustrated and feeling attacked. Wrongfully attacked. 

“Snoop? Well some of us don’t have the resources to hire p r o f e s s i o n a l snoops like other people do, but no I wasn’t snooping. It’s not snooping when I get enough of an idea from the professor to take the initiative to go through your class papers and find out what he was eluding to. He said he called you once before about the subject so you’d know why he was calling tonight so he didn’t leave a message other than his name. I know what class he teaches. I know what you had problems with in that class at the start of the term, as much as Ethics. It wasn’t hard to go through the assignments you did from the dates when I was in the hospital and find this paper for that course. It was maddening for me that after seeing you do so well that you later choose to sit on this mark when he’s giving you a second chance. It’s not your favorite subject, I know, but you never know what course you might want to fall back on someday.”

Harry ignores how the other students are following the conversation intently. Probably figuring out this tiny, miffed thing has been instrumental in helping Harry and is mad at Harry for good reason. Harry knows Louis is a fighter and he should go submissive to end the fight but instead he adds another insult because he’s embarassed to be exposed in front of others. 

“Since when do you care about things to fall back on? You won’t do a single class in the music program when they want you and you know you would do exceedingly well. So what about not falling back on things? Besides I have a career I can always fall back on. One phone call and an hour later I’ve made a chunk of change with a snap of my fingers.”

Harry regrets his words immediately. Louis looks hurt and shocked speechless by the remark which is not easy to achieve. He starts to speak. Steps back. Steps forward. Still speechless. Looks down at the paper one more time with his hand removed. Harry wonders what he’s done by the foolish implication tht he could resume sex for hire as if he has no obligation to Louis. 

Before he can say he’s sorry for it Louis speaks with his tone devoid of his feisty power.

“When you don’t have anyone waiting for you at home, you’re right Harry, you can do whatever you want.” 

With that Louis looks around at the five other students who are staring at this scene. He adds “I’m sorry to interrupt the studies.”

Like that Louis turns, leaving as quickly as he appeared.

Harry sits there shyly pulling open his messenger bag open to shove the offensive paper into it while ignoring that the other five are scrutinizing him. 

“So that was a roommate? A tutor? A...”

“Boyfriend. He’s my boyfriend. And he was helping me in my classes before, before, but then he was in hospital, things tanked. He’s very bossy. Anyway. Aren’t we still working?”

The two women look shocked. It’s that shock women get when they realize they don’t have the right equipment for him. 

One of the guys quickly states his unsolicited view. “Are you stupid? If I had a boyfriend, not that I’m into that, but if I had a boyfriend as cute as that, and like how he’s clearly deeply committed to you, I wouldn’t talk to him like that. Even if he embarrassed me by calling me out. What do you care what we think? Go after him, go!”

Harry could care what people think, right. So why the dick move? Harry stands, putting his stuff in his bag, makes his parting brief nod to the table as a whole and runs. Before he gets two feet out the front entrance of the library assuming Louis left that way for the most direct route to their flat, he is stoped by nearly running literally into Professors Miller and Poust who are entering the library. 

“Harry?”

Harry stops. He’s looking past them for any sign of Louis off in the distance as there are fewer students filling pathways since it’s a Friday night. He greets them, they try to converse, Harry is short. Once he’s broken off from them to pursue Louis, Gerina stops him by calling out. “By the way Harry, if you’re looking for Louis we saw him as we approached the library. He went the other way, he was running actually, toward the engineering building.”

Harry stops. Thanks her turns and runs in that direction. It makes no sense. The engineering building is not on the way to their flat. He doesn’t see Louis after his sprint of several minutes so he stops and calls Louis. Louis’ phone goes immediately to voicemail. Harry leaves a message.

“Louis I’m sorry. I’m being a wanker because I’m an idiot when it comes to you. It’s important I don’t hurt you is all. I didn't want you to know about that paper. Or that I hadn’t gotten back to the prof yet to see about what he wants in the rewrite, if I could do it without you. You know how you don’t tell me what to writ, you just edit? Well apparently that’s unique. Everyone else wants to dictate. Like you told me innthe beginning, if I don’t write my own words out of class, in class essays I’ll be shown wanton.. So I’m defensive. Then I think about it more, about how easy you made learning for me, and I don’t want to disappoint you. More than the grades on some transcript it’s your grade of me now that matters most. Next i go to another dark place. I’m piling onto the situation that you might feel responsible for my descending grades because you weren’t there for me, not that you could change that, but I just did not want you to know. This doesn’t excuse me being an arse just now. I’m sorry. So sorry. Please call me back, please. I don’t even know where you are going? Call me please.”

After leaving the message Harry takes a deep breath then goes to his app for “Find Friends”. Louis’ location doesn’t come up. It can only be that way Louis deliberately turned off the app on his phone so Harry couldn’t track him. 

Immediately Harry does a group chat. All their friends, the Vissers, the Deakins get his message. He tries not to alarm. “Hey. Just got done at the library with my group final project. Who has Louis now?” 

Some reply on the chat. Some direct. None is troubled. They all say basically the same thing. “Not with me”. Exception being that Phoebe and Daisy reply what time they dropped Louis at the flat earlier. 

Harry realizes nobody has Louis’ whereabouts. More importantly is how no one knows Louis was just disparaged minutes ago by Harry. Or that after that Louis ran off because of it. This is their first and only lover’s fight.


	49. Chapter 49

Harry leaves the campus boundary in search of Louis heading the direction that is opposite of his flat. Why would Louis chose to go here? 

It’s not where Liam and Zayn live. 

It’s not toward the nicer student housing districts. 

Indeed, even though it’s cold and people are mostly indoors, the common assumption Harry makes when he passes group after group of mostly young adults, is that these passersby are heading from or to parties as they appear to be typical age and appearance of Uni friends. Unlike the quiet library that Harry left, this environment is the norm for a Friday or Saturday night where young adults congregate; it’s lively, particularly as stress of exams is approaching, the need for escapism is high.

The need for escape.

It occurs to Harry. His mistaken lashing out at Louis has pushed Louis to seek escape too. As much as Harry wants to escape his hard life, so does Louis. How could he have been such a wanker to one who believes in him most? Harry gets a hunch of Louis’ whereabouts. 

In his contacts he finds the number for Brad whose party he and Louis attended that one time. Louis had never been to a n environment like that. With Hath so controlling of Louis’ every move it was a first to be out in the real world other than on the pitch. Harry was the cause of that adventure. He knows that Brad lives in this neighborhood. While it is in some way pretty nonsensical that Louis would return to the setting where he had that uncomfortable encounter over a game of spin the bottle Harry understands how maybe he would...escape. Afterall it was totally nonsensical that Harry threw out the spiteful suggestion of going back into the businesses selling sex if schooling wasn’t his thing. 

Harry calls Brad. Brad’s phone immediately goes to voicemail. Harry leaves a message. 

“Hiya Brad. It’s Harry. Harry Styles. Seeing if you want to meet for a drink or somethingto blow off steam...” 

Harry decides it’s a stupid message. He wants to admit that he’s only calling because he is looking for Louis but Harry stops his message there and disconnects. 

Next Harry calls ever-steady Liam. Liam is at work. He gets that Harry is worried in hearing the first word out of Harry’s mouth. Liam’s advice, call the Visser lads, Zayn, Niall, the Deakins. Let everyone know immediately Louis is having a mel5-down. Liam stuck at work and can’t help. 

Harry finds in his distraction of the two calls that his feet have made it to Brad’s flat without his brain thinking it through. By the activity at the front door of Brad’s flat it’s clear; Brad is indeed hosting a party. 

Harry enters the residence where he is instantly absorbed in loud music and a thick crowded inebriated Uni students. Several women roll themselves off their beaus and seek out Harry’s attention as he passes them, Harry ignoring them like dust. Once Harry gets deep into the flat the crowd thins some. It’s there he encounters Brad.

Upon seeing Harry Brad slips away from two women he’s sitting with. His phone in hand he greets Harry with a hug, “Harry! Hey, just saw you called, welcome, welcome, just about to text you back, drinks over there, help yourself!”

“Louis? Brad have you seen my boyfriend Louis?”

Brad looks toward the very back of the flat. “That way. Your still together though?”

Harry doesn’t even ask why that is a question Brad would ask. He moves with purpose in the direction Brad suggested to find Louis. 

In the very back room, a rear entry space more than an actual room, Harry finds Louis.

More like he finds Louis engaging in making out with a young man about Harry’s build, perhaps somewhat bigger, maybe two years Harry’s senior. Harry can’t make outall the details of his appearance because this guy and Louis are devouring each other, intensely kissing like lives depend on it. The guy even has a hand down inside the back of Louis’ pants. This is an impressive feat because Louis is in his typically very tight jeans. Nevertheless, there a large hand is, between black denim and perfect skin. In some slight way the guy is picking Louis up ever so little with his pant-hidden, arse-gropping hand which can only mean that he’s gripping onto Louis’ bum firmly to do so. 

Harry gets stopped in his approach to them by some other partying students whose jarring activities bump Harry backwards. The man making out with Louis is totally unaware as is Louis that they are going to be interrupted. Before Harry makes it to them they spontaneously shift, the guy with Louis doesn’t acknowledge anyone in the room as he makes this sudden move to force Louis to turn away from him. 

Harry gets the distinct impression Louis has perhaps just then spurred this action by bitting the man which Harry knows Louis does sometimes when he’s feistily pushing a person during foreplay. Harry clearly recalls the time in the men’s room, on June 7th, when Louis wanted to spur on Harry’s passion that fateful day so Harry would make Louis’ impending encounter with Hath not so painful later by fucking him before Hath. To deal with pain, Louis can be a source of pleasure and pain; he blurs the distinction. 

The ease with which the man spins Louis around in his arms suggests just such a nip-induced spurring; a nip from Louis and in a split second Louis is positioned facing away so his teeth can’t hurt the man he’s making out with. He’s become submissive. No longer face to face with Louis Harry can see that this guy, quite the specimen, continues his activities with Louis positioned so Louis’ bum is pulled into the dominant’s pelvis with the dom continuing to hungrily nip Louis’ neck and shoulders. 

Also now that Louis is turned away from the guy it’s revealed how is was so easy for the man’s hand to fit inside Louis’ tight jeans. The front of the jeans are unfastened. Given that Louis is repositioned the young man elects to slide his hand into the Louis’ jeans again taking a new feel of what is below. Harry knows full well from experience how the man has his hand unobstructedly fondling Louis’ dick and balls. He’s probably getting delight in how Louis is a properly groomed twink, hairless and smooth. Maybe Louis is semi hard for him. For certain it’s clear that hand-play is making Louis melt into him, or maybe Louis is making him melt because Louis is pushing himself back to plaster his full bum against this partner, Louis’ eyes are closed his head rolling like he loves the way this fellow is molesting his skin with his mouth while he plays with Louis in one large hand.

Before a moan can completely escape Louis’ mouth both the man and Louis are startled by Harry’s booming announcement.

“Get the fuck off him!”

Louis’ eyes flash open to see Harry. The man’s attention is directed to Harry, but only just a split second before Harry strikes the man squarely in the jaw with a fist strike causing the man’s head to also hit the wall behind himself. Louis is set free from the molestation. He seems shocked to see Harry. He’s speechless as he’s pushed aside by the guy as the young man Harry punched remains remarkably undaunted by Harry’s assault. He returns a punch like he has a stake in defending Louis from a wantful intruder, sending Harry backwards. Louis is lost in the mayhem that ensues as the two men, Harry and some random bloke Louis picked up, break into a major battle despite several others trying to stop them.

Brad is there before they are parted. Three people are required to pull each apart to stop the from throwing more punches at the other.

The man who was making out with Louis barks out his point of view. “Sorry lad, but late to the party means sloppy seconds is all you get!”

Harry spits back, “Not with my boyfriend, late or not!”

“Sweet Cheeks here did the invite. He came on to me! Lewis didn’t say a thing about any jealous boyfriend. Said one thing. Just lookin’ for someone with a big dick to grind on. So maybe you should tell y o u r boyfriend to get his head straight.”

Harry doesn’t know what to say to that. He seems deflated. The three people holding him back sense this, let him go, he’s bleeding a few places from the blows so he nabs a few paper tissues he’s offered by bystanders then turns, straight to Louis, whose zipped his pants, appearing throughly embarrassed, looking only down at his feet. 

“Come on Louis. Let’s get you home.”

As Harry loosely puts an arm around Louis to bring him along he hears Brad say to him, “Next time Harry maybe give me heads-up so I can advertise the entertainment, will ya?”

Everyone laughs. Everyone stares as they thread through the packed crowd. Louis seems somewhat drunken in his carriage as Harry feels him sort of slip a few times like the feistiness he had at the library is completely replaced by a deep psychological wound. 

Right.

Get his head on straight, Harry thinks. 

Louis scars on his arm are not the ones that run so deep. It’s those in his psyche that penetrate endlessly.

***

They are silent as they walk back across campus toward their flat. 

Louis doesn’t say a word. Harry doesn’t either. Louis remains in some drunken-like state though he smells free of alcohol. The only change to his scent is how Harry can smell that man’s cologne on him. The scent angers Harry as much as the image of some bloke’s hand on Louis, the asteroid-hole’s mouth too.

They enter the flat in silence. Louis pulls way from Harry and stumbles to the couch. He seems collapsing into himself more each second that passes. Harry takes Louis’ clothes off. He’s sure Louis at the library had on a denim jacket lined with fleece, one of Louis favorites, but they left that party without it. Since it’s cold out Louis even had socks on for a change. When thoroughly stripped Louis remains wearing only the symbolic anklelet. Seeing it now Harry thinks how calloused and stupid it was to lash out over a class assignment. He should have let Louis be mad at him, made the effort to make the work right with the professor, saved them both this unnecessary outburst. For sure Harry’s face wouldn’t hurt so much now.

With ease Harry scoops up Louis after he too is stripped down. Into the shower they go, Louis listless and reliant on Harry’s hold.

“I want the smell of him gone. Tomorrow we will ignore thes marks he’s made of you, or on me with his fists. We’ll try anew. I was wrong earlier. I would never do that. I was wrong to say I would.”

“Why then can’t you properly be with me? You would when I was his, Hathaway’s private whore, but now, now you want your life back the way it was before...”

Louis says something more but it’s sort of a slur of words. He’s asleep like Harry has seen before following stress overload. Harry dries them both, sets Louis in bed. He sends messages so everyone knows they are okay. After that he slips in tight against Louis wrapping him in arms.

Sleep takes Harry instantly too. In his dreams he dreams of sex with Louis. 

***

Harry wakes from his dream because of how good it felt in the fantasy. When his body’s response makes him wet the bed he instantly jumps becuase more than that sensation is the sudden reality that he’s in bed alone.

The Louis he was feeling when he came was a phantom of his imagination.

Seeing the hour is early Harry slips on some sweat pants goes in search of Louis. The flat is his alone.

He takes his phone and goes to the bathroom calling Louis as soon as he’s finished there. The phone goes to voicemail. He’s considering that he doesn’t remember Louis having his phone when he swept Louis away from the party so he’s trying to decide who to call next when at the door is a soft tap, tap.

It’s Liam. Harry swings the door open to receive Liam who also has some pastries and is still in his scrubs from hi night shift at the hospital.

“Lost someone? Again?” Liam sets down the box of goodies and shoves one small treat into his mouth. He also starts the process of getting water for making coffee.

“So your not here coincidently?”

“No. He called me at six. Like he knew I’d be leaving work then. He was whispering since he was calling from here, the number here. Said he couldn’t find his phone or his wallet. Wanted a ride to Visser’s. I took him there, he was wearing your green coat, by the way, he said nothing the entire way, just it’s not any of my business when I asked if you two are having a lover’s quarrel.” Liam assesses Harry and adds “I’d say he looks horrible but I’d say you look worse. Who do that to your face?”

“Some wanker who Louis saw fit to mess with at some party.”

“Okay so start at the beginning. What going on?”

“The beginning is when Louis was recovering, my grades began to slump. In one class the prof gave me this option to write a paper a second time and I sort of coasted on that becuase I was so far behind and just more focused on Louis. So last night I’m at the library with my study group working on our project when in come Louis. He throws the paper in my face becuase the prof called here last night after Louis go back from the movie. Louis knew which course the prof teaches so he found the paper, guessed why the prof was calling and confronted me. I was embarassed, I lashed out. I called him a snoop.”

“A snoop? How does that lead to a party, a wanker, a face full of bruises?”

“I was getting to that. Louis said I needed to have something to fall back on. Every class matters. Even the ones I don’t like but are requirements. I threw out how he doesn’t consider doing anything with music, even though he’s brilliant it’s it, and then I said something like I have a fall back. I implied I could make money in a snap anytime I wanted.”

“Ouch.” Liam says.

“Ouch, right. He did this about turn and ran out. I tried to find him, you know, ended up checking at a friend’s where sure enough, a party full of people and Louis engaging in some pretty intense foreplay. The bloke who gave me these bruises was gropping Louis basically seconds away from bending him over and fucking him then and there, room of people watching or not. I pulled Louis out of there, put him to bed, woke up alone.”

Liam puts down a cup of tea to seep for himself and Harry, sits, puts a hand on Harry’s shoulder.

“Stupid mistake but simple to understand. Since you both have some messed up history you are going to stumble into to sensitive areas. It’s a given. I think you need to go apologize, put this behind you because you were an arse, he retaliated by being a bigger idiot and your both lucky neither is hurt worse that you both are.”

Harry stares at the tea. Decides to stir the cup so the brown infuses the water quicker. States his shame. “Aiden wouldn’t do that. He’d never say anything to hurt Louis, would he?”

Liammwas about to sip his tea but he stops. Shakes his head. “Aiden is not the issue. Harry is. You, you’re the issue. You’ve got a big challenge taking on a full university load with no traditional education to prep you for the studies. You’ve been doing great...”

“Because of Louis, because of Louis Liam. Without him I’d fail practically every class. Even with the new tutors it’s harder for me. I made a massive mistake, maybe because I was sitting with the best students and I was feeling insecure before Louis walked in. When I was whoring I was never insecure. I was in control. I would never go back to do that again, not for any amount of money. All I want is Louis. It’s just I need to feel like I deserve him. Like the way Aiden did. Aiden was an top student, a talented athlete, a really good person. He was perfect. He deserved Louis. Not some street whore.” 

“Harry are you hearing yourself? This is what you need to tell Louis. Louis has always lived with feeling broken, damaged, used. Well at least since Jay died. I think he can understand you feeling insecure. I think he can love you more because you’re like him. You’re two beautiful people who the world delt an unfair hand to. I believe Louis will be as happy in life with you as he would have been with Aiden. Maybe happier. Go to him Harry. Tell him what you told me. He needs you. He’s really fucked up. He needs someone who understands what that’s like to live with.”

***

Patti Visser was finishing breakfast cleanup when Harry entered the home. She smiles warmly at Harry. “There you are. I told Louis when he showed up earlier that it was smart to leave the flat if he has the flu rather than giving it to you with finals exams coming soon but I wassure you wouldn’t be able to stay away.”

“The flu, yeah,” Harry says sounding like he’s aware Louis might have “the flu” as an explanation for his odd behavior rather than tell anyone about their fight. 

“So what happened to you? I thought you were at the library last night.” 

“Um, well I was. Until later. There was this party, this bloke was getting so, um, is Louis upstairs sleeping?”

“He is either sleeping if it’s quiet or sick, the poor thing. I woke after he came home earlier because I heard him several times going to the toilet to be sick. I left him some water and some anti fever medicine beside his bed after the second time he went to the bathroom, but no sense in him taking the pills until he stops the vomiting phase.” Patti says clearly believing Louis is sick with the flu.

Harry knows Louis sick alright. Sick with emotional anguish caused by someone being foolishly over-sensitive over deserved criticism and lashing out hen he should be grateful. Harry almost starts to confide to Patti when a phone call from Troy who is “traveling for ambassador stuff” takes her away. 

Going upstairs Harry heads down the hall passing Aiden’s room to go to the one he and Louis share. He sort of notices there are ping pong balls scattered on the floor of Aiden’s room but doesn’t give it a thought. He finds the room where he expects Louis to be is empty. He goes to the bathroom, knocking lightly, the partially open door swings reveal it too is empty.

Harry is puzzled but he thinks about the ping pong balls on the floor in Aiden’s room. 

When Aiden was in competitive ping pong as a young boy he would keep a ball from every game he won. His room had a basket full of them that from time to time the Visser cat would enjoy playing with. It was a line or two of mention in his diary. Harry’s time spent living at the Visser’s has allowed him to see the cat, now older, not as playful, decking to knock over the basket for a short bout of playfulness. Going back to Aiden’s room it becomes clear the round white balled up things on the floor are tissues. Harry spies the top of Louis’ head. It seem he is sitting on the floor in Aiden’s room, on the far side of the bed with his back up against it.

Harry steps in. Softly he says, “Louis?”

The fact Louis sits up a bit is the only sign Louis heard him because Louis doesn’t speak.

Harry walks in saying “Louis” again softly. When Harry reaches full view he gets that sinking feeling like you know you’re a total dick because sat on the floor in the dark room with no lights on or sunlight from the window because shades are pulled is Louis. 

All around Louis on the floor are tissues he’s used, crumbled into balls and in his hands is the diary. 

The diary Harry has wanted Louis to read. The one that stayed tied with a ribbon ever since Harry returned it. The one whose status of unreadable has been an indicator to Harry of something about Louis’ state. And now it’s open. In Louis’ hands. The cause, together with Harry’s words, for Louis flu-like illness.

Harry sits on the floor and searches Louis’ face which gives him no honor of acknowledgment in return. Louis’ nose is pink, his cheeks too, his shirt, one of Aiden’s, is stained with tears. Louis sits there staring at the journal like he’s trying to be still. His body gives him away, shaking ever so slight.


	50. Chapter 50

Harry goes down to the floor coming close by Louis. 

Louis doesn’t look at Harry even though Harry is only inches away. Harry feels like there is a vacuum between them as grand as all of space as it appears to Harry that Louis struggles to stop his tears, his trembling, his vulnerability. Harry’s fingers caress under Louis’ chin taking his face to lift from its downward cast. Making the softness contact possible Harry’s lips press to Louis’. As this kiss is offered the sensation of Louis’ warm tears are what Harry feels on his lips. 

Harry parts from Louis so that he can take the journal from Louis’ hands. Harry puts the ribbon that once tied it shut into the place where Louis was stopped in reading. It sure looks like from the number of balled tissues everywhere on the floor around him like Louis has struggled to make progress through the diary.

With Louis not resisting yielding the book to him Harry decides to sweep Louis up and set Louis on the bed. He leaves Louis in the shirt on that Louis took from Aiden’s closet but takes off everything else they both wear so nothing but Aiden’s sacred shirt, the first and only Louis has done this with, would be a barrier to keep their skin from completely touching as Harry tucks them both under the blankets on Aiden’s bed, caustious as it’s more hallowed ground invaded.

Wrapping Louis tight Harry lips press tiny kisses on Louis’ temple. Louis remains like a person on the verge of some breakdown; his breathing is erratic, he shakes despite the warmth between them. Harry uses his yoga breathing skills to deliberately try to lead Louis to do as he is; take slow, deep, restorative breathing. This approach seems to slowly catch on a little with Louis. As Harry continues this lead in calming breathing he can’t help, despite the darkness of the shade-drawn room, to see reminders of the thing that had him so defensive last night. It’s in this room staring Harry in the face.

All around on walls and shelves are little signs of Aiden’s prowess both atheletically and academically. As Soren said, Aiden was the best of them. How does Harry measure? 

Liam wisely suggested to Harry that Aiden might be in some ways perfect, but not in every way perfect. Not when a person has been through the things Louis has. Processing the horrible experience he’s suffered has been a black box to those who love him. Louis has steadfastly refused to go through any counseling since he was put in guardianship with the Vissers. This decision was accepted by Patti and Troy after they learned one the first incidents of sexual abuse Louis experienced was at the hands of an adult other than Hath, who was also a so-called psychologist.

“Louis I was wrong to react so badly when you came to the library. I’m sorry. Look around this room and all you see is how perfect Aiden was. Perfectly fit, perfect boyfriend, perfect student. I was embarrassed when you slapped that paper down for everyone to see. It was hard enough knowing they were bringing me along because they were being nice not because I reall deserve them as a group. So I acted out. And the one thing I know you avoid is considering a major in music when you’re so talented. I hear you writing these songs from time to time and I’m amazed. Your lyrics and brilliant. They don’t force a rhymy-rhymy thing, it brilliant. And I’m sorry for the comment about fall back career. That was really low. I honestly never thought what that would imply about us. Forgive me?” 

Louis shifts. He stays quiet. 

“He really was perfection. Aiden. So I can never be like him Louis. I’m only ever going to be this. This person who is damaged.” 

Finally Louis speaks. His voice is strained. Softly he says, “Yes, he was. But that isn’t what I loved about him.” 

Louis almost shift to look at Harry but decides not and balls himself up smaller. “Why have you never told me your story? All I know is you’ve been on your own since you were eleven. That’s it. What happened to your family? How did not one ever help you? Why would someone like you who could be the perfect student, whatever, be a prostitute? I’ve always wonder that since the first time I saw you. You don’t know when it was because you couldn’t see me. I watched you with a client from where we were and I couldn’t believe anyone as gorgeous as you could be anything other than a movie star or something. But unlike you said last night about me, I didn’t ever snoop. Aiden didn’t hide things from me. He trusted me.” 

Hum. Harry thinks we’ll this is a surprise. Was Louis waiting for this story and reading into it Harry need to keep his life private. Was private causing friction symbolic of deeper meanings. Meanings like maybe their thing was on trial, perhaps temporary? 

Louis goes on with more like he’s embolden to get things out. “He trusted me like he would tell me things. I can see now reading his diary how he struggled with what to do to protect me, yet he came through. If he where here right now he would tell me what is happening with the trial. No one tells me anything. I know people know more than what’s in the paper. I’m pretty sure it’s been discussed, but everyone thinks I’ll break apart if I know too.” 

Harry works his arms to get them better around Louis invading Louis’ ball-form bringing his arms inside the shirt so his arms share the inside of what was Aiden’s and his arms claim Louis. Then he begins. 

“I was eleven. My sister, Gemma was two years older. We event to different private schools. Both our parents were taking her from school that day to a national competition in spelling. Ironically on that day my school was trying to call my parents for a conference because I had gotten in trouble again. You’d see, your right that I can be a good student, I was then, but I also was sort of in a phase of being everyone’s hero. There was this lad at our school, small, cute, shy. He kept getting picked on and bullied because he was new and so small, delicate, pretty as a girl. I was probably not aware then that the way I liked him was different...anyway I got in trouble for a fight with two other lads. I was waiting at the office when a paddy came to the school. All of a sudden everyone was dismissed except me, the two lads I fought, the other witnesses, just me the headmaster, the school nurse came in.” 

“They told me it was a headon collision. Killed all people in both cars, I can’t remeber what they said after that. I think I couldn’t believe them. So I ran out, ran all the way home. By the time got there some people arrived like they were looking for me. I got scared and ran and ran. Did I tell you it was raining? It was raining so hard that I couldn’t see where I was. It was getting colder. I can’t tell you where I spent the first night. I know I was cold. Scared. Lost.” 

“The next day I wandered around until I found a way home. My house was locked but I found an unlocked window to the basement cellar. To be honest I didn’t know what to do but I feared if I was found I’d go to an orphanage. For several days someone would come by the house searching for me. I hid. Then there was people coming by because the house was being put on the market. By then I had eaten all the food in the house. The electric was off. I’d become good at where to hide so I could leave the house if someone came. By the time someone discovered one old window wouldn’t latch and that was repaired the house was empty, had been for a week. Bank sale sign was on the front. I was homeless.” 

“I made my new home under a bridge for a while. Eventually I found my way to a scary part of town because I could steal things, food, if I was hungry. Problem was I was getting hungry all the time. And cold. And scared would die.” 

“One night it was cold. Some man came out of a restaurant on the fringe of the part of down I stayed at. He and his girlfriend were arguing. He had a bag with food leftover in his hand. When their argument ended with her taking a cab he tossed the bag into the bin nearby. I saw him walking away so I went for it. As he turned the corner he saw me. He shouted to me. Scared, I ran. He ran after me.” 

“When he caught me I was sure he was going to take me to jail for stealing, trying to steal what he threw out. Instead he stood there gripping my arm fro a minute or two before he spoke. Was I hungry, he asked. Why was I out on the streets so late? I looked dirty he said, and cold? Where did I live?” 

“Slowly I realized he was softening his voice. His grip too. He asked me if I was listening to him and the woman. It’s the first question I answered. I nodded a ‘yes’. I had heard every word. Not that I understood them but I knew it was about stuff, like private stuff. He wanted something. She said it was disgusting. She broke off with him.” 

“He asked me if I would do something for him; my mouth was so pretty I remember him saying that. It would be the first time that was my opening. He made me get on my knees. He took it out. In the alley he made me do him. When he was finished he said I was a good lad. He brought me to my feet, gave me a handkerchief to wipe my face. We walked to the bin where he pulled out the bag of food. He also gave me some money, not much but some. He said I should clean up and I’d be worth more. Maybe he’d see me again sometime.” 

“The next couple of times I got desperate enough to try that for money I got beaten. Both men started nice with me but got violent quick. After the second beating is when I met my roommate. She too was living on the streets. We saw each other around. After the second beating I was scrounging for food through the bins and she stopped me. She took me to this abandoned building she shared with several other girls her age. She was sixteen. Had been selling herself since she turned thirteen and ran away because her father beat her and her mum. Her mum always blamed it on them, not her father.” 

“The turning point for me was when I was thirteen. I was still doing blowjobs and handjobs. My hair had changed from straight to curly. Still kept it short them. But more and more it seemed like men were looking for more from me. One day this man was wanting to approach me. They always act like they don’t notice a whore if they have a secret. This man was like that. I told him my fee. For sure it wasn’t the first time a man wanted not for me to suck him off but for him to pay me to suck me off. So that was normal, as much as you can say doing this with a child is normal. When I was fully erect, he stopped. At first I thought it was because he was gagging on me, but then he said he rather stuff that in his hole, if that’s an option. What’s the charge for that?” 

“That singular transaction transformed my business overnight. Seems lots of men want as much to be dominated, and fucked, as be the dom. But the time I was fourteen I had my place to live with my friend, just the two of us because most other girls we started out living with either got bad habits, jailed or disappeared. Meanwhile I had accumulated many nicer clothes. I made it a point that whatever anyone wants they pay for, the pay more the next time if I don’t like their treatment. I found they always pay more if their choice is between getting nothing or having me. My regulars became a standard type; successful men and women who wanted discretion. These clients offered additional perks. Investments. I took pay in investments. A woman who wants to strap on and peg me, that’s an additional charge from the regular service. Two men, naturally that’s additional charge. Someone I simply don’t like, same. Additional charge.” 

Harry pauses as it seems Louis is so quiet, still, trembles gone that he could be asleep except he wouldn’t be, so... 

“Except now you see there isn’t an amount of money anyone could offer that could make me give up what I have here in my arms. All I want, the only thing I want, forever after, is you. I want you Louis. If you will have me. I’m no Aiden. Nothing perfect about me.”


	51. Chapter 51

Louis rolls in Harry’s arms turning to face Harry. This forces Harry to pull his arms out from under the shirt. Feeling the loss of touching skin makes Harry want the closeness back but instead of continued spooning Harry is confronted by a Louis who stares into Harry’s eyes for a minute. 

Each second of the stare feels like an eternity. Finally Louis moves in to place a soft lingering kiss on Harry’s lips, the kind of kiss Harry senses has meaning beyond any words. When Louis pulls back he doesn’t say anything. Just searches Harry’s eyes more deeply.

Harry slips into being on the verge of nervousness when Louis finally speaks. 

“You’ve never talked about the thing that led to your life as it was before. My heart aches for the idea of this boy, the same age I was whom me mum died, out on the streets afraid to get help, afraid he’ll go to an orphanage. Do you know how many times I actually wished that Hath would die only so I could be sent to an orphanage? Why did you never look for other family, I mean when you eventually got some money saved? You hired Ben to find me family, but why didn’t you ask him back when he was a client, an investigator, to find if you had someone?”

“I don’t know. I was young. Foolish. By the time I met Ben I was well established. Or sort of felt like I was beyond needing help. Also, or so I thought, my life was all about how muck money can I make. Going back to the very beginning I can’t really explain how my child brain worked. I was on my own. At the very beginning, when I first ended up on the streets, I thought of going to for help from one of my friends. Problem was that most of them had parents that didn’t really didn’t like me. You see when I was little I did things, like we used to paint my fingernails, stuff like that, so I was, you know, ‘one of those’ other parents would say about me. And your right I should have told you about all of this earlier but I, I mean look around this room. Aiden. So promising. I’ve nothing to be proud of.”

“So why do you think Aiden put up no block to us being friends? Instead it is like he gently opened the door. Did he write about it, in his diary? I haven’t gotten very far this morning in trying to read. Though we never talked about you much, Aiden just knew. But why? Why could he trust you?”

Harry doesn’t know. He shakes his head ‘no’.

Louis answers for him after a few minutes of reflection. “Aiden was very smart, but more than that he always had this wicked intuition. A knack for knowing about what is in a person’s heart. He probably saw us both as two wounded souls, knew we both were broken, each of us needed someone who could understand us the way others haven’t lived with suffering can’t. I remember how he would push me and Liam to talk with each other more because Liam and I had a rough childhood. I pushed back. Got all brave and independent like a little shirt. It was like Aiden worried I’d resent what he had, this perfect family, not that I would, but I felt he had that concern.”

Louis gives Harry another brief kiss. Harry is sure Louis is being soft so to not agitate bruises yet this kiss has a minute bit of tongue teasing making Harry’s body flush with some arousal setting in, but the Louis continues. “I should apologize to you Harry for the thing at the library. I had no right to act that way. Or to run off. Or whatever. I’m appalled looking at your pretty face all battered, myself for being the cause. It actually made me sick this morning when I woke at the flat and looked at you sleeping with your face all bruised because of me. You’re...” 

Harry puts a hand on Louis’ chest. “I can’t think I have a right to be in here,” he says before moving his hand to Louis’ head, “when I don’t understand what is going on in here. I see week after week the diary was sitting untouched, the ribbon still binding it shut.” Once this is stated Harry’s hand stays there and plays with Louis’ hair. He forces the issue “We have to deal with the ghost before we know what to do next.”

“So that’s why you pull back from having proper sex with me? Because that would be really good to know. Last night when you said you’d go back to your work I had the flash of an idea. Suddenly I thought you were bored with me, need the adventure of the past. Maybe just staying with me because you feel some obligation. Maybe because it was like Aiden stuck you with me, or maybe what if the news comes out bad about the trial. Did what you said mean that you needed to be set free? So I ran away. I found myself near the place we went that time, sure enough, a party. I found the one guy at the party who looked at me like he’d fuck me in a room of people. Honestly I didn’t think you would care. I didn’t even care about myself. In an odd sort of way when you said you’d go back to escorting, more than when He last raped me, that one statement made me feel valueless. I could have ended myself. End it. Rather than lose you.”

Boom. It all dropped for Harry at this moment. The words “lose you” had no preface. Louis didn't connect them to loss of Aiden or any other torment. Louis only said “I could have ended m y s e l f, rather than lose you.”

Harry’s understanding grows like his love does too. 

He wants Louis now, unfettered by guilt of not being Aiden. Not being perfect. Maybe a little broken. Broken, which as Aiden knew in a way, was absolutely perfect for Louis. 

Patti walks along the second floor hall about to pass the open door. She stops seeing the two laying on Aiden’s bed. 

It’s a funny thing about Aiden’s room. Since his death the room remains like it was before. The door is always open. No one ever goes in. Or so it seems. As they’ve been laying together, Harry scanning the little details of the room the one thing he notices is how it’s very clean. For a room left vacant it seems to be tended, clean, though no one enters the room; at least not that Harry has seen. And now as Harry lies on the bed, he and Louis, Harry sees the surprise on Patti’s face. Is this room a shrine? 

Before Harry can think to say something to Louis about this Patti shakes off her surprise and simply closes the door. 

Louis hears that. Harry supplies the answer. “Patti. It was Patti.”

Louis nods. “See Harry, I worry about why you are with me and how they manage me being here. We never see Patti going into or coming out of this room, or anyone else in his family, and yet it’s clean. I know the bed has been changed too, the sheets smell fresh. I feel like I’m something everyone needs to shake off, like the ghost, as you said, to be able to go on with their lives.” 

This time it’s Harry who initiates the kiss. He goes in fast and hard. His tongue delves into Louis as he rolls Louis under him so he’s got Louis compressed where he can make his kiss an extension of a comprehensive holding Louis bound. 

Having a sense Louis has melted under him Harry breaks off the kiss. “I happen to know that no one wants to shake you off, no one could. Most of all not me. So we haven't seen Patti dealing with her grief, why should we? You know she won’t have you take on more suffering, why would she think she could cry in front of you and not tear into you? No one talks about the trial around you because it’s the same. It’s too risky. And you won’t seek help with a psychiatrist so where does that leave us?” 

Harry can see the wheels spinning in Louis’ mind. He can see Louis is fighting off going back into tears. He doesn’t take his weight off Louis purposefully to make sure Louis doesn’t flee. 

“I really am a mess.” 

Harry places a kiss on a collarbone which is exposed partly because of Louis’ smallness and series of shifts within in a shirt several sizes too large, “Yes. You are. And it’s okay.” 

Harry plain acknowledgment gets a snort from Louis. And a retort. 

“And your face is a mess too.” 

“Yes, but the bruises will fade,” He kisses along the collarbone dismissing notice of the marks the guy at the places made on Louis’ neck, “as will the terrible trauma you’ve suffered...” 

Kisses take over. It’s two hours later when they leave the room. Harry takes care to leave the bed neat. They leave the door open. Louis removes the bin from the room that he’s filled with the balled tissues. The shrine is restored. 

Louis walks ahead of Harry down the hall to the room they share when they are at the home. Harry can’t help but love the way Louis looks so sexy in the roomy shirt, otherwise nude. This gives full exposure of Louis’ gorgoeous thighs and ever so slight glimpses of his bum as he walks making it almost more arousing than if Louis were completely naked. Louis, oblivious to the seductiveness created by occasional small peeks of butt cheeks peeking out from under the back hem of the shirt, asks Harry about something unrelated to the heavier conversations and confessions of earlier. 

“I have this image now of the little Harry Styles with his nails painted. It’s sort of cute to think of.” 

“I have these happy memories of my sister, Gemma, painting them.” Harry’s says. “I remember I liked it when Gemma would sit down with me and do them. It made me feel special. It was something we did together brother and sister.” Louis gives Harry a bright smile. Once in their room Louis turns into Harry to kiss him. Harry let’s his hands grip the bare arse he’s been trailing and enjoys the kiss before he asks Louis for a something happy memory to share. 

Louis describes one that Harry can see as if it were played right before him. 

“It’s not what I remember but more like what me mum would never let me forget because she used to like to tell everyone what I did when I was very little. I was a toddler, I was just starting to talk in the memory she likes to share the most. She said her favorite thing was to take me out in my buggy when lots of people were out walking because she said I’d smile and wave at each and every person and say ‘Have a nice day’. She insisted not a single person wouldn’t snap into being happy because I was so friendly and it was contagious. She used to love to tell that story about me, to everyone, even after it sort of became embarrassing because at about ten, I didn’t want other lads, older than me to think of me as a baby.” 

Harry laughs. “I can totally picture toddler Louis, taking a buggy ride, telling passersby ‘have a nice day’, turning grey skies into blue.” 

“Can you? Well that’s good because there are no pictures. He took them all away.” 

Harry sits on the bed in their room and pats it for Louis to sit. “Tell me Louis. Tell me about that. You’ve said something about it before but I’d like to know more. Maybe we can find them.” 

“There’s nothing to tell. He took them to punish me. Some he’d put them back, only to take them away again. Some he would copy, he’d put the cheap paper copies in the originals place so they’d be there for me to see only shortly before they would fade all together with sunlight. He never told me what he did with the originals. At least now I have the pictures of me mum that Lou gave me and the ones from Dan. My only pictures of us remain all in me head.” *** 

By noon both Harry and Louis are properly dressed. The original plan for later in the day was to join the Deakins for dinner but instead they’ve rescheduled this as Harry sits down at the dining room table at the Visser’s, takes out his tablet from his message bag, along with it somepaper, and the massively disappointing paper he orginally wrote for his class. 

“Okay Louis. So please read the paper I originally submitted and think about what you see I did wrong while I pull up the description of the assignment as the prof sent it out. Tell me how I should approach this rewrite. I’ll try to call him, see if he will accept the paper and when he wants it done by. I don’t think I can go to Deakin’s tonight though, I still have loads of other work.” 

*** 

By late afternoon Harry and Louis have relocated from the dining room where the table is still loaded with papers spread everywhere that has been abandoned so to switch course and give Harry a working break. Louis is partly sitting on Harry as they occupy the couch. Patti walks through the room and isn’t sure if they are doing schoolwork or what because they are a tangle of two bodies, their heads are together, they are looking at Harry’s phone. It seems there is something work-like they are engrossed in on the device so she doesn’t interrupt. She sets down a tray with some tea and wafers saying nothing as she also some ice packs with them. 

“You see that Louis?” Harry says. “That’s not someone who wants you anywhere other than home. Here. Where Aiden wanted you. They love you. They are insanely tolerant of me despite me being what I was. Don’t think you should let Aiden down by giving into fears that Hath created in you. You haven’t gotten far in the diary, so I’ll tell you his biggest trouble with you was how determined you were about your choices. How even as you were the victim you were stronger than he was. He wanted to protect you, take you away from the horror.” 

Louis leans his head into the crook of Harry’s neck. By now Harry’s bruises have hit maximum. He picks up one of the ice packs, keeping his head where he’s connected to Harry, he gently lays one on Harry’s face opposite side of their contact where there is a particularly puffy bruise. Louis doesn’t say anything. He’s trying to sooth what is his fault and he can’t look at them because Louis knows this. It is a Harry who continues speaking. 

“It’s the pictures. The first time I was at the house, after the thing, when Hath said I could take you to your room, clean us up, I saw them. All faded, barely there pictures in your room, poor copies of what was. You and you mum, this beautiful woman with big, expressive, soft eyes. And this adorable kid. I knew that was you. Eyes so bright. A smaller so full of light even in poor reprints they sparkle. I get it, you need those pictures back. Even though I don’t have any pictures from my childhood what is different for me is that I was always loved by my family. I never had a person in my family who would hurt me. When I think about how Patti and Troy are about not just you but me being here I can imagine that my family too would be loving like they are. For you, for you to heal, we need to find those pictures. We will find them. I promise.” 

Louis sits up to properly look at Harry. Seeing what he did in his stupidity he moves the ice pack to a different spot, curls back into Harry trying to keep the comfort in place. Softly he says “thank you for understanding.”

Dinner hour approaches. Harry remains diligently working at the Visser’s dining room table putting together his rewrite. In the living room sits Louis. Harry can sees Louis through the open doorway that separates the two rooms. Louis is curled into a ball reading the diary. Unlike earlier he’s not crying. He’s stoic, walled off, pushing all emotions aside. After Harry picks up his mess, he sets the table for four, which becomes innneed of settings for six, as Patti informs Soren has called, “can they come by”, meaning he and Lottie. Meanwhile more pages are turned in the diary. Louis remains entranced while void of emotion as he reads.

When Soren and Lottie pull into the driveway Louis puts down the diary. Harry sets his messenger bag beside Louis. He offers Louis his hand to suggest Louis stand. 

The feather light touch tells Harry how fragile Louis is. He’s staying contorted in his emotions. It’s a necessity. The touch tells Harry how critical this is for him at this time. 

Giving Louis a small smile despite that it hurts, Harry suggest Louis come with him. They slip off into the closest bathroom where together they wash their hands. The entire time Harry hovers around Louis keeping thier bodies in contact. Harry actually extensively spends an unnecessarily long amount of time washing their hands with Louis’ inside his. As he does this from where he is behind Louis he places soft kisses along Louis’ neck as Louis seems to be staring with great fascination at their hands. Harry’s seen Louis numb from hidnig his emotional turmoil before. This composure which buries his pain is nothing new and it hurts just the same. 

Eventually, the water off, Louis looks up at their reflection in the mirror. “I’m sorry for last night.” 

He spoke so soft. Harry sort of wants to skip dinner and take Louis to bed. Send him off to sleep after some significant pandering to his pleasure needs. Let him sleep off the drain caused by confronting the reflections from Aiden which are as real as the one of them in the mirror. 

“We’re past that, remember. It’s okay. Beside I threw the first punch. It was a pretty good one too. So where are you in the diary?” 

“Where he decides to give me an actual proper dicking finally.” 

Harry acts like that’s not referencing or a parallel to the two of hem. The yearning is radiating off Louis. If it were not for dinner with the family Harry would have no choice but to take Louis right now to give him “an actual, proper dicking - finally”. 

“Ah, yes. The thing that for awhile made all the abuse more tolerable, maybe. Yes.” 

“Yes. But I don’t need to read to know what comes next. I loose my guard and give away that my heart was with Aiden, once he knew that..” 

That’s when all the tears start. Louis crumbles. In a weird mix of words and sobbing out comes something about making Aiden a target and that burden is mixed with having made Harry a mess because of his actions last night. When Harry pulls Louis from the bathroom the four people they were to have dinner with are all standing there, anguish on their faces for seeing the state Louis is in as Harry half drags, half carries Louis who’s entirely mid-breakdown. 

“It’s not flu, it’s the thing...” Patti says comprehending what is happening to Louis. 

Harry says as nodding, “Not going to eat.” 

Everyone is powerless to help. They step aside as Harry fully collects Louis in his arms, striding to the stairs, saying “Sorry”as if he should have seen this coming. The expression on the other’s faces suggest they too are very, very sorry.


	52. Chapter 52

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After Louis succumbs to harboring so much trauma Harry soothes him in the manner Louis has been pleading for.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Enjoy.  
> ***

Once upstairs Harry carrries Louis past Aiden’s room down the hall to theirs. He places Louis on the bed, removes clothing from them both and takes Louis into him to hold. Harry hears nothing from his distraught lover after some time cuddling which alarms him. He moves so he can lean over Louis, kissing first softly on Louis’ forehead, next over Louis’ cheekbones, before finding lips which Harry licks lightly before he commits to a delving, deep kiss, Harry’s tongue being desirous and lingering.

Harry notes how, as he is doing this, Louis leaves his arms laying on the bed like he can’t lift them to respond like some strange emotional paralysis is overtaking them. Regardless of paralysis Louis does develop a rapid breath, lightly responds to Harry ever so slightly returning kisses. When Harry’s mouth leaves Louis’, Louis’ hands get their lift taking Harry’s lengthy curls into a grip. As Harry kisses his way down from Louis’ neck, across collarbones, straying to nipples where his lips lap and suck, before going more south, Louis leaves his hands there in Harry’s hair. His sniffles have shifted into something a mix of a few intermittent sniffs and some elevated breathing.

The nuzzling around the junction of thigh and pelvis takes Louis into a mix of writhing from the tickle sensation to relaxing his legs to part. Between them Harry settles. He takes his time before he takes his first lick along the underside of Louis dick and balls. After the second such lap Louis is stiffening. His hands stay on Harry’s head, he lets himself breath out Harry’s name along with a “sorry”, “sorry for being such a wretched mess”.

Harry says nothing in return to that. Instead he sucks on the skin on the side of one ball while playing with Louis’ hardening prick. 

“You’re so pretty, too much so to e v e r be described as snyclose to ever being a wretched mess.” Harry engulfs a little of Louis’ knob, just enough to hold it between lips as to lick into the slit before saying more. “You’re wretchedly complicated, sure. Delightfully so. It’s a mess trying to figure you out. Yes. Massively, delightfully so. You make me be the best person I can be. Like now, I feel like a virgin on their first time right now with you; I only want to be the best lover for you. You make me a wretched mess trying to know how to make you be the person you are inside. A sweet creature.”

Words said, Harry arrests Louis’ verbal response by taking all of Louis’ length in his mouth. Louis does manage to make his protests heard when the action is reversed with Harry pulling completely off, switching to only palming Louis’ dick, as Harry says more pulling away from Louis far enough to break Louis’ hold on his hair. “Going to make you feel good, make you fully mine okay? And if you feel regret at anyt time you tell me no. I will stop. You hear me, tell me stop, anytime. I won’t take offense. I want to make the hurt go away, not the ghost. He’s got the right to live in your heart always. I think there’s room enough for us both.”

Louis looks frail with emotions. He nods rapidly like he accepts what terms Harry says. It’s a little concerning for Harry that Louis could do an about face on consistently wanting more from Harry to maybe realizing he’s not really completely over his loss or the abuse.

Laying between Louis’ legs Harry laps Louis’ balls a few times before he resumes the blowjob. Louis immediately finds a curly head of hair again for his hands. His body is quick to become wiggly. Once Harry knows Louis is feeling the pleasure fully in his core, enough to shift his focus, Harry pops off, pulls back, makes Louis roll over to face down.

Pushing legs apart, Harry looks over his lover as his hands sweep across Louis’ skin from low on bum up and over back before regaining focus. Once hands are on each side of Louis’ arse Harry pays homage. “What madness this bum of yours stirs in me? It’s absolute perfection. It’s plump and full, round and,” as parting cheeks, “a puzzle as it harbors this tiny treasure of a thing. Too perfect this treasure is for the usual terms. It’s like a flower, a pretty, pink, seductive flower.”

Harry put his lips over Louis’ entrance and sucks on it. He feels Louis body respond with the action; his arse muscles tighten and his overall form quivers because of Harry. Liking how Louis is jolted into fully aroused with the stimulus Harry doesn’t stop the sucking there until Louis by his own accord decides to lift his pelvis, his knees take him more accessibly prone. With Louis somewhat tripoded on knees and chest Harry has access to the entire playground equipment. Harry sets into licking around Louis’ entrance, over it, flicking across it. All the while Harry plays with Louis’ erction, his balls, just enough to leave Louis hard, like he is wanting more sustained friction there. 

Louis pushes back on Harry when Harry works at his tongue pushing on the entrance. This lets Harry know Louis wants still more. Harry inserts a tip of his index finger into Louis just enough so that the way his lips kiss and suck on flesh of one cheek beside the inserted finger makes Louis whine from the teasingly tormenting effect of Harry giving him so little. 

Looking over Louis before he resumes more finger play Harry is delighted how Louis’ skin is glistening ever so slight. Louis has chosen to position himself so his back has a lovely sweeping arch to it so his bum is pleasingly positioned for Harry. The arch accentuates the sculptured look of shoulders, each scapula and rib is defined as they take Harry’s eyes like steps down to examine how tiny Louis’ waist is, all this in contrast to how Louis’ hips have this ridiculously feminine shapeliness to them. 

And dat ass. A hand alone foreshadows as it softly sweeps over one side of Louis’ bum as a warning before more fingering. Harry makes sure he squirts some lube to assist as he dips one finger into Louis deep. The sensation of tight walls resisting sends urgency to Harry’s dick which is posting straight out like it’s seeking its pleasure-cove.

Harry enjoys slowly fucking Louis on one finger, seeing Louis starting to roll with it. As Harry supplies some thoughts he alternates between sticking with one lone finger slowing fucking into Louis with the alertnation of inserting two into him for doing some modest scissoring.

“Such a sweet creature. These walls of your so tight, so hot. The sounds you make when I do this, somewhere between a coo and a gasp, sends my dick into a deep need for you. I’m so hard just from the sight of your body reacting to me, sweet, sweet creature.” Harry almost slips and says Louis should have never been a daddy’s toy. Instead he decides to suck some skin beside where he’s got two fingers in sort of penetrating close to Louis’ sweet spot so they are making Louis cease moving like to keep himself very still for certainty that should either one of them move the wrong way, or the right way, Louis would surely come on Harry’s fingers. Breathing is held. From what Harry can feel Louis is so close.

“Come baby, come on my fingers, come on sweet creature,” Harry does the thing. A slight curve with his fingers so deep so proximal that Louis starts to shout and quiver. His dick shoots two of it’s coming series of spasms when Harry slips his cock to Louis’ hole shoving his knob in only so deep as to take each wave of Louis’ clenches on his shallowly inserted member. It’s an insane sensation. It’s like Louis is sucking him off it is so strong. Seeing Louis is soon to finish Harry sinks in slow and deep enjoying how the sensation changes as each inch of him gets inside Louis’ body giving Harry an ever changing sensation of Louis’ body worn on Harry’s dick. 

Louis never stops shouting until he’s done he’s last bit. Harry can tell exactly when Louis he finds awareness that he’s suddenly full, full of Harry, Harry kneeled behind him all his massive dick stuffed in, his hands sweeping over Louis, his words soft, deep soothing. Louis looks around startled almost. He expression says he’s confused to find Harry sunk in him.

“But wait, that, that was only your fingers again, was it?”

Harry strips his dick away. It comes out as hardwith need and demanding-looking as when it entered. “Yes, babe, that was only fingers. Now I’m going to give you some ‘proper dicking’”. 

Louis is so easy to pick up from where he was prone. Harry settles down on his back, swinging Louis to come sitting over him like swing a child onto the back of a horse. “You sit on this as you like, or I could eat you out first, if you rather and make you come again sitting on my face while my tongue fucks you, then ‘properly dick you’ after that.”

Louis’ hand seizes Harry’s cock. The size difference between Louis’ hand and Harry’s dick when Harry is so hard like this is somewhat incompressible. Louis hovers over Harry placing the head where it's a simple drop to consume it. Louis’ face shows utter delight. There is zero sign of the trauma that was stripping him of life a little while ago, only his delight. 

“Your cock is simply gorgeous, it’s so perfect.” Louis says sounding remarkably restored compared to earlier. “Should I ride you hard, or somewhat soft and slow?”

“Do what you want, sweet creature. It’s all yours, I’m all yours.”

“But your the expert, I wanna do this right.”

Harry ant believe these words. Expert? When it comes to fucking Louis, expertise is out the window, it’s all emotions and sensations. For sure nothing ever gave Hath the right, but the way Aiden had his reservations, his need to be gentle and slow, that’s how Harry feels too.

Louis has eyes with pupils blown wide, aftermath of his orgasm. His lips are redden from his biting of them during Harry’s finger prepping of him. His skin is a golden sheen like the gods cast pollen brought from the heavens by shimmering bees known only to their magic forests. This to highlight Louis’ beauty. Most of all though, the thing Harry is absorbed in is the heat, the welcoming heat from Louis’ body where Louis puts Harry’s knob as he hangs there hovering without commencing sitting, waiting Harry’s direction.

“Would you get on with it!” Harry says feeling like he could come from being here like this, just anticipating Louis.

“Wha-do you want? Something soft, something hard?”

“I want to see you lose yourself on me. Ride me hard like the devil is chasing you, or do it soft and slow. So long as I see you come again, so soon, so free, I don’t care what you choose.”

Smooth. It’s so smooth the way Louis drops down on Harry’s dick. When he’s taken a reasonable amount of cock Louis’ hands leave assisting the penetration to move to fan over Harry’s chest as he reads Harry’s face while taking a rhythm once he’s sat on most of Harry’s length. The rhythm at first is like ocean waves consistent in the ebb and flow. Harry realizes he’s grinning like an idiot only when Louis laughs at his face and takes a break to lean down for a kiss really careful of Harry’s bruises. 

Once Louis sits back up he begins a new style of riding. He posts on Harry hard, fast, fairly rough relying on his hands for support where they lay on Harry’s chest. Realizing Harry’s is heating up fast Louis stops. He lifts up, bends forward. So positioned he’s got only the upper three inches or so remaining in his hole. Louis is still really tight so Harry, despite his massive amount of length exposed to air, is held there which is why it’s crazy good when Louis rolls his pelvis putting an insanely stimulating sensation pressuring mostly on the head of Harry’s cock. 

Harry has to close his eyes, his hands go to grabbing Louis at the hips, forcibly he sets Louis down leaving no doubt he intended to drive his entire length deep. Louis laughs. The laugh makes Harry look at him in a flash. 

“Don’t do that!” Harry says. “God it’s crazy to see you, your tight hole filled so shallow, with you cock riding on my knob just enough to make need unbearable, an uncontrollable need to force all of me in so I can have more of you, don’t do that!” 

Louis giggles as he stays impaled as Harry made him on all of Harry’s length. “Sure, curly, shame on me.” 

Harry should feel less urgency building with Louis remaining still but it’s all a tease that comes next. Louis resumes a gentle fucking. Aware Harry is really close Louis keeps his pace slow as he starts a new show. 

Sliding his right hand to cross slowly over his own body to the left, Louis’ hand passes where his tummy being periodically slapped by his own dick as it wags forward backward as he rides Harry. Once the hand is to the left side of his body he slowly runs his hands uppward over his skin. His right hand reaches his left nipple and he makes sure that Harry is watching as he stops running his hand up to enjoy fingering his own nipple, his eyes closed. To emphasize how much he likes this self-play he holds off posting on Harry’s dick for a few seconds but makes sure to moan like his own nipple-play is more pleasure than the cock he’s fucking. 

Harry responds. One word. “Stop.” 

Louis looks down at Harry. “Sure, Curly. Shame on me.” 

Louis resumes the fucking and the fuckery. His hand moves again running up along the left side of his neck, along his sculpted jawline where his fingers find his own lips, they part, he suggest with his actions the idea of a mouth wanting to suck dick. He moans again as he takes his own fingers. 

Harry can bare this no more. Harry’s brain sends an image of himself sprouting a second cock, one massively long and fat with a giant knob. Like a serpent it finds Louis’ face upon being spawned by Harry. Louis welcomes the knob at his lips and is simultaneously filled by the two serpents that are Harry’s spawnlings. 

Harry’s vision of this fantasy almost overrides what is actually his to see before him until he sees Louis’ eyes flash open. A first splattering of cum hits Louis’ chin. 

“Yes,” Louis says as he releases, “yes, yes, yes...” Harry realizes in the instant that the fantasy serpent incarnation took over his brain the fantasy also took his body, the force, the depth of the dicking became an uncontrollably pounding harder into Louis, taking all control over this dicking away from Louis, as Harry inadvertently pounds Louis into a second orgasm. Louis’ body sweeps Harry’s with it, Harry feels himself go, his one legitimate, lone serpent spilling its seed deep in one burningly intense, long orgasm for Harry.

Louis’ last shudder leaves Louis exhausted. Louis folds down limp onto Harry’s chest, Harry’s cum flows out with Harry’s still angry-looking, red dick slipping in the shift of Louis’ body. Louis looks wrecked, so very pleasantly so. Lying there beside Harry it seems neither has any impulse to clean away the jizz from their lovemaking. Louis looks sort of natural, in his element, the perfect bottom, so painted.

Words go unspoken. Only their kisses speak. 

Louis is exhausted now in a good way, not like in the trauma of not so long before.

Harry is contented unlike ever before. He’s been sexually active since he was eleven. Thousands of partners. Never has it been like this.

Contented they sleep. It’s early 4AM when sounds in the house suggest Troy is up, propably getting ready for work, those ambassador things seem to have the oddest schedule. 

Looking over at Louis, Louis looks so much younger than seventeen in his peaceful sleep. Harry rises to go take a pee. Returns with some wet warm towels to slightly clean off Louis. He’s able to do so and shift Louis to a clean side of the bed without waking Louis. Louis only fusses slightly before setting back into peacefulness.

Something makes Harry think together up, look out the window. From the. Edroon on the second floor he can see the front entrance. There’s a car there. A man is standing at the car. He’s smoking. Troy comes out. The two men talk. The stranger gives Troy an attaché case. He finishes his cigarette and leaves after a quick handshake. 

Going back to Louis Harry desides he needs more than cuddling. 

He goes straight to Louis’ thighs. Louis is on his back. Harry parts one leg, bends it so he can nuzzle along the inside. Harry loves how firm Louis is here. It’s such a contrast to his bum and his belly but oddly just a succulent but in a totally different sort of way. He stays very directedly on the task of only soft kisses and sucking skin on one carefully positioned leg, traveling only between the inside thigh up near Louis’ bum going as low to the back of the knee. 

Slowly Louis stirs. A hand goes to his dick. He murmurs and moans as he keeps his eyes closed and lazily wanks himself while Harry makes his foreplay more searing with his mouth sucking harder on skin, occasionally nipping Louis. 

One such nip makes Louis open his eyes. 

“Fuck’, Louis says. A hard cock in hand. 

“I intend to.” 

Louis looks comfy as he is so Harry leaves him there on his back. He bets some lube, slicks himself first then sticks a wet finger deep in Louis. Sure enough Louis is still somewhat loose from earlier. 

With the finger plunged insensitively into Louis, he let’s loose another one word. “Fuck.” 

Kneeled between two legs Harry lift the one he’s been marking. Having Louis in a scissored position it’s easy to access Louis’ entrance by pulling one leg to set it on one of Harry’s shoulders letting the splits be maintained without use of hands. Harry could easily slide himself into Louis without any help except he finds Louis hastily grabs his cock and does the guiding of Harry’s cock himself while he looks into Harry’s eyes with a new wakefulness. Hungry for Harry’ cock is written on his face. 

“Fuck me hard.” 

“Oh I assure you, I have every intention of that.” 

Harry gets right to the dicking. He’s relentless at times, trying to pause only occasionally as contrast while Louis is coaching. “Give it to me,” Louis says, he wants it “harder”, “faster”, “there”, and then there is nothing more from Louis other than a lot of references to “god fucking god” as Louis is so loud as he orgasms that Harry is glad Troy left already, hopes Patti working in the kitchen downstairs, is clanking loud enough with cooking to not hear them because, jeez, Louis is quite shamefully loud. 

Louis’ body gives its last sputter which is when Harry pulls out, let’s himself come, splattering Louis again liking the caked look as contrast against Louis’ pristine golden skin. 

Not wanting to let this moment go to waste, Harry let’s Louis’ leg fall off then he flips Louis over face down, parts legs again, looks at what he’s done.

It’s not like when Hath took Louis, though then and now Louis was left gapping, the aperture of his exposure allowing one to see how red his walls are beyond the entrance, no this is different. Louis looks well used but uninjured, his hole wants to reestablish it’s tight, pretty form, pink petal entrance sealed. It begins to try to blink. Because Harry, and only Harry did this to Louis, Harry can’t be stopped plundering Louis again. 

Harry presses the full cheeks wide. His mouth goes to Louis’ spasming entrance. He drives his tongue in as deep as he can. Louis is so open that every bit of tongue that Harry pushes from his mouth can be made to drive into Louis. Harry loves how Louis lifts some and whines. It’s a new sensation and he’s loving it. This Harry knows because as Harry is staying with sticking his tongue as deep, letting it curl against the hot, quivering walls Louis makes a funny sound as he shakes, one, two, three times then gasp a totally new way. 

Being fucked by Harry’s tongue, Louis was induced to give up yet another orgasm be it a small orgasm, making it his fourth of the night, his body able to only squirt a mini sized bit of jizz. 

Harry makes sure to roll a listless Louis over before letting him resume the sleep of the after-sex bliss as a point to make Louis kiss his mouth, be invaded again by the very tongue that made that amazing little bonus thing happen. Also Harry makes sure Louis’ mouth takes a little bit of Harry’s knob just to be sure Louis has a lingering taste of both of them, to prove he, Harry too, is properly fucked. 

“Now Sweet Creature. That was a proper dicking, yes?” 

Louis manages to nod a “yes” maybe a second before he sleeps again.


	53. Chapter 53

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The problem resulting from Louis flirting dangerously isn’t over yet. 
> 
> Louis resigns to go ahead and try for another scholarship; or so Harry is mislead to assume.
> 
> ***

Harry wakes before Louis. It’s late in the morning. He goes shower, dresses as Louis is soundly sleeping, quietly goes downstairs where he finds some breakfast waiting in the oven to be kept warm. 

Harry eats then goes to find Patti. She comes up from the basement with a large box. By its markings it’s clear it’s Christmas decorations. 

“Never too early to start checking these lights.” Patti says cheerily. “I like Troy to get them up when we have a nice winter day and not wait until it’s terribly wet and cold. Usually the boys help and we make a family event of it, get it all done. Then we like to drawl names for gifts. I presume we will have you and Louis joining in the tradition. The name you draw is a secret, you play Father Christmas to one person. Saves spending lots of money when we all have so much already. Closer to Christmas we do a secret giving to a family in need. So if you have any ideas of someone whose down on their luck, be sure to offer a suggestion.”

Harry’s thinking of course the Visser family gives charitably at Christmas. He says, “That sounds nice. Thank you for including me.”

His tone indicates he feels honored and humbled. Patti sets the box down so she can rub his back with a mother-like affection. “Of course Harry, you’re family now.” She steps away, taking note of Harry bruises which have turned to look their absolute worse, “As I would tell one of my own sons I’d rather not see this sort of thing.” Patti’s remark about Harry’s face is accompanied by a gesture of her hand directed at all the blemishes from his squirmish.

“Me too, I mean I’d rather not feel this sort of thing either, but Louis really went off. Might not have if I hadn’t triggered it. You must have known it was bad when you saw us in that room.”

“It was a surprise, but then it’s expected sometime he’d have to change how he’s grieving. We all do.”

Harry nods. Then he offers to help check the strings of lights. This is how Louis finds Harry when he is up much, much later.somehow when Louis joins them he ends up getting himself wrapped in a string of lights rather than sorting them, so Patti sends them off. 

Louis and Harry are about to go to their flat when the twins come by. Cancelled plan for the dinner with the Deakins the night before and maybe some information shared by Lottie and Soren about Louis’ behavior has the girls concerned. Louis’ happy demeanor on the day following a long awaited “proper dicking” puts their concerns at ease despite the awful asortment of bruises Harry bears from the fight. 

Following a few hours of the four young people hanging out doing nothing other than talking about Uni, how it’s going for Harry and the twins, the girls leave. Soon after Harry and Louis decide to go to their flat where they intend to focus on some of Harry’s school work where he has some required materials for his assignments.

Once at the flat Louis reviews Harry’s rewrite of the paper that was at the center of their dispute the other night while Harry works on another subject’s work. Harry really wants to ignore his studies and do Louis all over again. When Louis goes to the bedroom for something Harry is about to follow for just that purpose. A knock at the door stops him. Even the split second of entertaining the thought of plundering Louis again has made Harry firm, hopefully not so much to be obvious he is thinking this as he answers the door assuming it’s Niall, Liam or Zayn. 

Standing at the door, his face littered with bruises much like Harry’s own, holding Louis’ fleece-lined jacket in hand, and a cell phone, also Louis’, is the guy who aHarry’s fought with at Brad’s party.

“Excuse me?” Harry says sharply. “What the hell are you doing here?”

The guy looks past Harry surveying the room before he answers. “Took the liberty when I left Brad’s party to take these. Promised Brad to return them to,” he says looking at the phone, “Louis, I see it’s Louis, not L e w i s. Brad gave me this address, assuming he is yours.”

Harry snatches the phone and jacket from the guy. Saying nothing, Harry starts to slam the door when the guy sticks his foot in the way blocking it open. He talks on despite that it’s obvious Harry has no interest in receiving him.

“I didn’t understand exactly why when a person, who looks like Louis, would want it so bad with a random that he’d come on to someone like he did to me the other night. But then Brad said that you were in the sex trade business. That sort of explains everything. I’m guessing Louis needed to make quota for you. What he was saying to me at the party makes total sense in that regard. He said something about he’d prove how much he could get for one good fuck, then you showed up. So that makes you what? His pimp, is that it? Didn’t like your twink going off making his own private deals without you taking your cut off the top.”

Maybe because he’s caught off guard Harry is taken back too much to act on his initial urge to punch the guy. Instead he sputters with words evading him in the face of this. Questions that are irrelevant spin in his head. Things like how did Brad know what Harry used to do? Harry never discusses it. Louis’ actions the other night were not at all what the guy is assuming yet Harry’s at a loss for a defensible explanation.

“Was thinking I’d drop these off, we could talk price. Nobody was home yesterday. The wait is killing me to finish what we started before you interrupted. Don’t really care what it cost for a go at that fine, fine ass? Twinks like him don’t fall into your lap every day,”

Harry would have finally unleashed a punch if it were not for at the very second Harry’s hand, already bruised from their previous fight, clenched the guy looks past Harry saying, “Ah, and there he is, Sweet Cheeks in the flesh.”

Harry looks over his shoulder. 

Louis.

Louis, who earlier today at the Visser’s, visiting with his sisters, following a night of long awaited sexual fulfillment was a picture of contentment and well overdo freedom from stress and abuse, is now standing behind Harry with a look that is far from happiness to see the guy.

“Princess, I’m here to negotiate with your daddy.” He says to Louis. 

Louis closes his eyes in a paused blink. Opening them he sasses. “I’m no princess and Harry is not my daddy!” 

“Louis,” Harry’s says as he is about to settle things once and for all with the offensive arse, when Louis steps forward and interjects. 

“I got this Harry. This was my doing,” he says with soft resignation in his voice to Harry before turning his attention to the guy, appearing to puff his chest out like he’s making himself more imposing even though it’s a comedic failure for him to even try. With a sharp voice laden with sass he directs his words to Party Fight Guy. 

“First, I’m no princess. Second, he’s not my daddy and third your not invited to speak to me ever again. I made a mistake, but that doesn’t give you the right to be a here.” 

Louis slams the door. 

Leaning back agaisnt it Louis reaches to pull Harry into him. Harry let’s their bodies melt together, making the birth of a new session of kisses start soft and sweet. As soon as they pause for breath Harry is met with a Louis springing up onto him so Harry is rushed to catch Louis. Hands under Louis’ bum to support him, Harry carries him straight through the flat to the bedroom. Seems like an eternity already since they made love. 

*** 

The audition was not something Louis wanted to do. Simply, he said, for him the prosepect of a financial reward from the music department was not persuasive. Indeed Louis has already gotten a merit scholarship for his first year from the English program. If he got the additional award he’d have to be a major in two areas of studies, or at least carry one area as a minor. Louis was resolute he wanted to study education with a minor in English Literature. If he picked up music that would reduce his ability to study for a degree qualifying him to teach. 

But in the two weeks leading up to the open auditions for an award from the School of Music there had been a persistence on the part of Gerina to persuade Louis to do an audition. Any student receiving an award would have tuition waivers for two years. Contingent upon making good grades the award would extend for a third year. For reasons Gerina didn’t specify she felt very strongly that Louis should try for the award even though he remained resolute he had no interest in enrolling in music classes at Uni. With Harry going back to relying more and more tutoring from Louis as final exams approach, Louis was on campus frequently, always there to help Harry who’s grades had been recovering well with the tutorage from Louis. Somehow it seemed like Gerina would always find them if they were working at the library, she would push for Louis to consider this opportunity. 

So here they are. It’s the Friday before the week of final exams. Many other currently enrolled students or prospective incoming students are gathered for their auditions. Almost every hopeful is looking nervous which is in total contrast to Louis. Maybe it’s because Louis doesn’t care if this goes well or not, maybe because Louis has performed enough times whether it was when he was at the park or with Eleanor, but whatever the reason, Louis seems too calm. 

Gerina appears from behind a door that leads to where there is a small amphitheater where auditions will take place. She greets Harry first then Louis before sharing her take on how this will work. 

“Louis I will not be on the committee elevating candidates since I was put down as a member of faculty who recommended you. You’re list of songs for this is really strong I want you to know that. I like what you’ve chosen even though it’s a little surprising. I wasn't sure if would consider that one piano concerto you’ve done many times with Eleanor. That’s a good contrast to the more contemporary pieces you have listed.” 

She looks at Harry. “You agree Harry, he’s going to do great.” 

Harry smiles at Louis with pride and admiration. “Yes, yes. He’s always great.” 

Harry turns to Louis wanting to support Gerina’s position knowing how Louis has been not fully convinced about doing this. 

“I know you don’t want to do this because you’ve got one scholarship in hand. And next year, I could pay or your tuition. I’ve told you that. Do this for me though. I love your voice. I love how much you love playing music when it’s just for fun. Do this like it’s just for me. And if you get this, I promise, I’ll take music classes too. We can sign up for the same ones.” 

“Promise? You will do anything for me?” Louis asks with a slight shift to be much closer to Harry, looking up into Harry’s eyes with a seductive persuasiveness to his expression. 

“Promise. I’ll do anything for you.”

Louis looks away with a smile that Harry can’t read.

*** 

When it’s Louis’ turn the pressure hasn’t sunk in at all. He seems calm and unaffected. Several other prospective candidates had some difficulties. Harry’s convinced Louis will shine like the star he is. 

Sure enough Louis’ first piece, the piano concerto, makes an impression. In the audience of fellow competitors, their supporters and onlookers, Gerina is sitting with Harry. She confirms the effectness of the concerto by whispering to Harry about how the concerto is a highly technical piece that few master with ease so that made a strong start for Louis. As she whispers, Louis switches from piano to taking his guitar. He approaches the mic, adjusts it, appears cool and collected as he’s preparing to do next what Harry knows is a more contemporary piece of music. 

When Louis starts playing guitar Harry is confused. It’s not the best thing for Louis’ vocal range. Louis stops playing which Harry assumes is because he’s realized it’s not what he wants to perform. Maybe Louis is under more pressure than he shows. Instead of going to the song Harry is expecting, once again Louis starts the same, wrong song, once again. He stops again before the lyrics come in. Harry gets a funny feeling when Louis looks right at him. 

“I’m going to yield the floor to another applicant. Harry. Harry Styles. Harry, may I accompany you with guitar in your audition?” 

Harry gets a sharp pain to his head. Louis mouths one word to him with a meaning only Harry understands. Promise. The word is promise. 

Harry did promise he’d do anything for Louis.


	54. Chapter 54

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Harry realizes just how creatively clever Louis can be while he also learns how well his own voice can be received as final exams are looming. Louis takes Harry’s stress down.

Harry finishes his last of the three songs he knew well but had did no idea he was there to perform. The impact of his audition is evident. Harry can feel the positive reaction in the auditorium for the quality of his voice. This response leaves him astonished as does how this unexpected turn of events came to be. He looks over at Louis who stood to his side and back a step the entire time accompanying, directing him, with each song choice Louis made for this performance like this was an expected arrangement for Harry’s entry into the competition. 

It occurs to Harry just precisely how sly Louis had been as Louis smiles at him while making a face suggesting the impromptu throwing of Harry to the lions was an acccident which Louis had no role in. 

Right. 

The reality is from the time Louis began making considerable effort into resuming Harry’s tutoring again he had this objective in mind. The resumed tutoring began the day after the rollercoaster weekend when Harry set Louis off by suggesting he’d go back to postitution when Louis embarrassed him in front of peers at the library. The weekend that ended with the two of them committing to a path together in trust and loving. Harry realizes now how there had been a strategic pattern Louis established on the following Monday that led to this moment. 

It’s a reality that rushes to the forefront of Harry’s mind as he can see the exitment over his vocal performance among the judging music department committee and even among the large group of other competitors for the coveveted award. Louis wasn't only using songs as distractions during study breaks. He was having Harry practice some songs leading up to this, preparing Harry though Harry was completely unaware. 

Over the course of two weeks Harry never suspected Louis was having him rehearse. Never once. How could one suspect? Afterall most times during study breaks if they were at the flat Louis would be sitting there naked (because they’d had a quick shag), only a guitar shielding his form, playing songs, pouting if Harry didn’t want to do the vocals, always seemingly trying to keep Harry’s anxiety over impending final exams at bay. 

Furthermore how did Harry apply? He never filled out any forms.

As the crowd in the auditorium are still acceptably noisily talking among each other while the next candidate prepares to take over on stage, Louis is putting his guitar in its case, Harry realizes that Louis must have filled out an application as Harry. The fact that Harry saw how Louis had to prepare documents for his own application allows Harry to know that Louis could have easily done a set for Harry without arousing suspicion. 

Harry wathces Louis leave the stage, going through the auditorium to put his guitar down in the back. The large room of people are clearly a buzz about Harry’s audition. As Harry tries to go to Louis at the back of the concert hall he is stopped repeatedly by others, most of them are fellow hopefuls, all of them are giving Harry genuine praise. The reaction is so pronouncedly positive Harry feels awkwardly exposed. That’s an odd emotion for Harry. Considering how Harry’s life has been he’s confused having this feeling so he looks for Louis as he is swarmed by others. 

Harry passes through crowded hall toward Louis. With each complement he counters “thanks, you were great too”. As he heads to Louis Harry sees that smile, the one that is legitimately now for him and him only. It’s the one that when he saw it the very first time started all of this. The smile that made Harry feel like it was his birthday, like he was home every time since the beginning, like the sun alone is shining for him 

Louis isn’t moving to approach Harry. He’s waiting in the back of the hall, away from the crowd, clealry pleased with himself and clearly delighted for Harry. Louis looks to be drinking in the way each person Harry passes wants to acknowledge Harry as something special. 

When Harry gets over to where Louis stands waiting there are many, mostly women, still watching Harry. It’s obvious among those who were staring at Harry that they shared a decidedly keen obsession for Harry. Harry’s innate charisma has captivated them, his voice has sung his way into their hearts. Once he gets to Louis those watching him hoping for him to notice them back are crushed; Louis threads his arms around Harry as Harry gives Louis a long, deep kiss, crowd of onlookers be damned. 

Once the sound of music starts indicating the next candidate is starting her entry Harry let’s the kiss end. “You’ve been planning this all along haven’t you.” Harry whispers to Louis. 

“Yes, of course I have. I think after today I’m not the only one who knows how special your voice is.” 

*** 

It’s the third day of finals. Harry wakes with a Louis wrapped around him like a Koala. Though it’s comforting to think of staying in bed for a little longer he knows he’s got to get an early start today. He slips himself away from Louis who appears to be very much solidly sleeping. 

In the shower Harry goes over his concerns for the exam ahead. Ethics. It’s all riding on his last paper which he receives back after the exam and the outcome of the final that has been described by prior students as grueling last opportunity of yet another essay. What can you say to be influential in a two hour timeframe on a topic sure to be challenging without the benefit of background materials or, as in Harry’s case, a gifted proof-reader. Louis has assured Harry in the days leading up to the final that his writing skills have transformed over the first term, Harry will do well Louis repeatedly says, bu now Harry has the stirring of nausea as he showers and contemplates. 

Something outside the shower is visible through the foggged glass. Sure enough Louis finishes a pee then joins Harry. After he enters the shower Louis kisses Harry in a lengthy delving of tongue deep into Harry’s mouth, a minty flavor on his breath, before he moves to the floor. His mouth finds the kiss made Harry somewhat hard. It takes no more than a single hand taking hold on Harry for Harry to breath out a gasp. 

Louis gives Harry’s length a lick along the vein then a lap plays on one testicle before Louis explains. 

“Imagine, my curly is, pretty stressed, gonna, give him something, to, think about.” Louis says, his words in disjointed fragments as he licks length like the tip of his tongue wants to feel all the little changes as anticipation gets Harry hard rapidly. 

“Like that, really like that,” 

Harry lips stop before he can say what he thinks will be funny something like or have Louis in his pocket for help becuase Louis has him paralyzed by the way he is sinking down on so much of Harry he’s borderline inducing the gagging reflex. As per usual, Louis doesn’t gag. He has as much as any human can take of Harry where he adds to this a throat contraction thing which gets Harry building urgency every time. 

Harry gently touches the side of Louis’ face giving him praise. “God Louis you’re so good, always so, so good,” 

Louis hums, comes back off from the deep throat, gives Harry a split second of direct eye contact before the shower water and task make him close his eyes and go back to using his mouth and one hand so as to suck Harry into the sounds of panting and gasps. 

Louis has gotten some liguid shower soap with his other hand. Harry knows this because the hand slips around come to slide between Harry’s cheeks with Louis beginning a little teasing with a finger playing over Harry’s hole. Somewhere since they committed to doing ”proper dicking” Louis discovered his top enjoys when his own hole is being stimulated while he fucks his bottom. It’s not uncommon when they are making love for Louis to do this little tickle over Harry’s entrance as right as Harry is fucking Louis into orgasm. Every time it makes Harry come too. Louis little finger tip causes a frenzy in Harry, after all, metaphorically Louis has Harry completely wrapped around it. 

Like that Harry is coming. Louis stays on the pulsing dick, swallowing it. He only gets to his feet when he must guess Harry’s legs are somewhat weak. With his arms going around Harry’s waist Louis kisses him again just briefly, this time the mint flavor is gone, in its place is Harry. 

“Gonna ask you to think of that when you get stressed. Not so much your bulge is noticeable, but yeah, think of me mouth in your massive cock. Me waiting for you at home. Maybe finding something interesting to surprise you with.”

Harry makes a quick check of Louis with a hand. Frequently Louis gets hard from sucking off his boyfriend. He was well fucked at the start of the night so Harry not surprised that this time Louis is still flaccid. Instead of delaying the dread of facing this daunting final Harry leaves his token back to Louis as some kissing before yielding the shower to his lover. 

Stepping out to dry himself while Louis washes Harry asks, “So what’s your plan for today?” 

Harry tried to sound causal. While Louis said he’d be planning some surprise it’s not lost on Harry what he knows is the thing that got Louis’ focus. 

Today is the final court day for Hathaway Tomlinson. Before his, trials were concluded on other parties. The people who were enlisted in the abduction faced their crimes. With exception of the helicopter pilot who has some leniency in his sentence because it appears upon taking his passengers to the wising aircraft, he called in the crime, himself. The jet crew went down hard, especially the woman who struck Harry with the fire extinguisher. Of them all Eleanor had the harshest outcome. Her years would be spent in prison until she reached age 93 though she would probably get sent to a mental health facility given her role in sexual abouse of a minor having been so abused in her own childhood. 

But today. Today it is the sentencing of Hathaway. Harry wishes Louis will say he’s going to go to Visser’s. Or. 

How Harry really wishes he could be at home with Louis. Maybe stay in bed. Make a tent over it with covers like they are kids. Pretend the world is a perfect place. 

From in the shower Louis’ voice supplies an emotionless response. “Like I said nothing really. Just sort through your lacy things and see which makes my bum look best.”


	55. Chapter 55

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Reconciliation. Realization.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ***  
> And it’s short.
> 
> ...head space.  
> ***

Harry looks up from where he’s sitting scrolling through his phone to avoid doing what he wants to do, which is review more for the test he’ll take in about twenty minutes. 

That is exactly what Louis said absolutely, positively, for him NOT to do as Louis soothed Harry with an in-shower blowjob. Louis maintained that any last-minute cramming will only add anxiety. Harry tries to hear Louis morning sex voice, he did swallow, and reel calm only to have it disrupts when he catches sight of Brad coming his way like he’s got an agenda with Harry. Harry would avoid Brad, go into the classroom instead of sitting in the hall except the room is still in use by the class before Harry’s. 

Harry would rather not talk to Brad right now for several reasons.

Or for one major one. The party in which Harry came to fists over Louis with some hyped-up random.

“Harry! Have you been avoiding me?” Brad says as he reaches Harry. “I’ve been trying to catch up with you ever since I let Cal take Louis’ jacket and phone to yours. Haven’t you gotten my messages?”

There it is. The one major reason for Harry to be avoiding Brad. 

Harry stands. Talks in his typically slow, methodical manner to show nothing of his emotions. “Cal. That is the bloke’s name? Didn’t ask him when I was pummeling him or when he miraculously, unexpectedly showed up at my door asking to negotiate for sex with Louis. M Y BOYFRIEND!”

Brad looks slightly put off yet determined to reconcile. Harry can’t further express his anger because Brad jumps in. “So the other night, that, that... was amazing...” 

Harry was about to get into it based the comment Brad made assuming it being about the night at Brad’s party when Brad takes the context of what he was saying in a totally different direction. Fortunately for them both it was before Harry took a totally hostile posture. 

“...you were great. I mean, Harry, do you realize! The entire room lost their breath listening to you. The girls, well you know how it is with the girls when they see your legs, that hair, smoldering green eyes. Not to mention those dimples kill them. But that’s not it. Great audition!” 

Harry, realizing the context is not what Harry defensively assumed, is disarmed. “Um, thank you, you were there?” 

“Yes, I was. Not to audition though. I sing like shit. My younger sister however, is starting here next term. She’s in opera, actually is her thing is amazing, though I biased. She was working Friday night so she was on the huge list of hopefuls auditioning on Saturday. I was there Friday to see the competition. She wanted me to report to her so she knew the competition. I came with her Saturday to support her, told her how there was this one lad, Harry Styles. You didn’t come back to watch the competition on Saturday did you? I would have introduced you but I didn’t see you, or Louis...” 

“No. No. To be honest I didn’t know about auditioning until the second Louis called me up to the stage. No clue that I was scheduled to do that. Apparently Louis filled out my application, all that, without me knowing. I was thinking I was only there to support him.” 

Harry gets an after-thought and asks. “So there were a lot more people auditioning on Saturday?” 

“A lot more? I’d say they had three times as many people scheduled Saturday as Friday because they had more time. More time, more auditions. Besides I think most all the currently enrolled students prefer to have their Friday night off ahead of the exam week. It takes real detication to go do what you did after a week of classes, each with last assignments due, grades on the line, exams looming.” 

Harry sort of realizes he gets a twinge of desire; desire for the award. Before this moment, Harry wasn’t really thinking this thing, monetary scholarship reward, but now as he is talking with Brad he gets a knawling feeling that when he looses this opportunity he’ll regret it was a singnifant opportunity missed. In retrospect, any money that helps he and Louis, money that he didn’t have to make getting fucked, fucking in a loveless situation, is actually comforting. Dismissing his feelings about this to not show his weakness to Brad he feigns nonchalance. 

“How did your sister do on Saturday? Opera, wow. That’s next level.” 

“She’s great. She did fabulous. Her life is singing, music, voice, she has been studying with a voice coach from when she was eight or nine. Actuall, she knows Louis. I just learned this with the competition. At least it came up when I told her about the people at the Friday auditions, about yours, about how Louis was there and stepped out, like he kind of planned it as he propped you up in a way. That’s when she said she knows Louis Tomlinson. She’s been at The Dorchester on many Saturday’s before when Louis was there too. Her vocal coach would take her there for a fancy lunch as a reward for all her hard work. She told me she has seen him there with a violinist. Anyway my sister has had a crush on him for years she’s seventeen too.” 

Brad looks down like he’s got more to say. Harry allows the silence to hang in part to synthesize this information. Sure enough Brad looks up, conviction written on his face to address the unspoken problematic thing that’s between Harry and him. 

“I’ve been hoping to talk to you since my party, the fight between you and Cal, was bad. I’ve been trying to put things together in my head. I think I mislead Cal, actually set things up all wrong about Louis. I was pretty lit that night. At the auditions my sister revealed some hints I didn’t know about Louis. I told her about the shocking moment when this candidate, some lad name of LouisTomlinson, dropped out, choosing to push you into the limelight. I said his name; she freaked. She went on and on about Louis, Louis is this amazing artist, sadly saying how he’s like in some weird family, mind you all of this she’s figured out only from seeing him over the years may be a few memorable times each year at the hotel. Perhaps because she thinks he’s really cute she’s thought it out. She has picked out things, like she knows he’s got some big, big issues. After we talked about the auctions, your audition, and Louis I suddenly realized I’v been a total idiot. I mislead Cal. I’ve misrepreanted people I don’t know, don’t own, have no right to maligne. You see the morning after my party I found Cal was stretched out on my couch, sleeping off the alcohol, suffering the bruises you gave him. I woke him up because I was noisily picking up the after party mess. When I found a coat, phone in pocket, I mentioned to Cal that it Louis’. He jumped up all excited, suddenly awake. I didn’t hesitate to givethem to Cal when he asked for them because we were laughing about how fucked up that fight was and he was telling me how he’d really, REALLY like to see Louis again. He said Louis came on to him. I should have called you, but I I had no idea about who Louis is at the time me and Cal are talking other than it seemed, sure, Louis was into men. I was wrong based on the one time you brought him to mine for another party and I saw him giggle when lads touched him or talked to him and he was blank with the girls. Not until this past weekend at the auditions when my sister enlightened me did I realize how messed up Louis’ life is, was. I don’t know him. So back to the morning after. That morning, after the party I said to Cal some really ugly things about you, repeating rumors I’d heard. I was popping off with Cal, both of us probably still mostly drunk, I was speculating about Louis who like I’ve said I’d only ever met that one time, like I said before.... I, I owe you, Louis, a massive apology. Louis. He’s in that mess with that monster, the Barrister Tomlinson. My sister is crazy about him, she doesn’t know this but she actually blushes whenever she talks about Louis, her crush is so intense. I don’t have the heart to tell her that Louis is gay. If she knew about the party she’d kill me, little sister or not! Clearly she knew he had family issues and she still is infatuated with him. She’ll figure out that gay thing out on her own if they cross paths here. I will devastate her.” 

Harry ignores the part about the crushing little sister. He accepts the apology. He’s glad to know the context becuase the Sunday morning drop-by of Cal suggested Brad was a total wanker. Harry doesn’t even care to inquire where Brad got the information that Student Harry Styles was once Escort Harry Styles. He’s ready to move on. Furthermore, the room that Harry was waiting to enter is emptied of students who were taking an exam before Harry and Brad’s class.confusing resolved. Explanations made, they wish each other luck, enter the room. 

Harry takes a seat strategically on the far side away from the doors, near the front of the room where the prof will be a deteriorant to distractions as to have less distractions troubling him, another of Louis’ test-taking tips for him. He sits. With ten minutes before the exam Harry decides to text Louis. 

“Here ten minutes to wait. Okay nerves, thanks to you. Wish me luck.” 

The phone says message delivered. After no reply for over a minute Harry is curious. “Well, have you found the one? I’m guessing you’ve picked the silk satin baby blue?” 

Minutes tick by. The professor enters putting down his necessities and surveying the room which is now full of seated, nervous coeds. 

Harry looks over and back to where Brad sits. He looks cool, collected as naturally Brad should be since he’s an acceptionally good student. 

Harry turns to face forward. As the exam is distributed, Harry does the next thing Louis told him to do. He closes his eyes. He takes a couple calming breaths. Before he opens his eyes Harry thinks about the morning shower experience only to the degree that it’s a relaxing type of distraction not an arousal triggering one. 

When Harry opens his eyes he reads the instructions printed on the exam booklet placed before him. 

“Students are to select from the topics below, select any two topics from the list. In the time allotted you will write an essay on each of your selections justifying your point of view on the subject.” 

Harry looks at the list. 

The topics to challenge them include among others age of consent for sex between minors, prostitution (who is the ultimate cause of the crime), same sex partners rights (why is that good for society), child abuse (why does it still happen in a modern society), the list goes on with seven great options for Harry to write opinions with authority. What to choose?

***

Throughout the exam Harry was lost in his writing. He had such ease with the topics he selected that he had no difficulties staying focused. He only checked the time to make sure he put equal time to each essay while allowing himself time to do a quick read over things at the end before his time is up. It’s only them that it occurs to Harry how he’d never felt his phone vibrate an inaudible alert informing him of a incoming message. This is not like Louis.

Sure enough when Harry turns in his work, exits the room, there is yet to be a reply from Louis.

“It’s blue. You’re wearing it now aren’t you? Are you too busy planning for me with you to reply?” He hits send. Types another message sure to get a response. 

“You’re not using a toy are you?” Harry writes in his last text.

Nothing.

Harry is about to call Louis when Brad comes at a quick pace to catch up to Harry. 

“How was that?” Brad asks about Harry’s exam experience. 

“Actually that was easy for me. Either that, or I’m so dim I don’t know how bad I am. But I felt like I had complete ease with the topics. You?” 

“Honestly I think I did good.” Brad answers modestly. “So when I turned my phone on a message came up from my little sister. She says she got a call back. You? You were really great.”

Harry looks at his phone. No messages. It’s not that he doesn’t have a call back from the Music Department that bothers him. The lack of a reply from Louis, that’s the rub. 

Harry’s about to respond to Brad’s question when a text from Niall catches his attention. 

“Hey mate. We weren’t supposed to tell you, but all of us are here with Louis. By all, I mean those who could get off work to be with him. Or by here, I mean those don’t have exams today. By ‘here’ I mean, we are all who are those are at the courthouse now. You need to know. They are bringing Hathaway in soon. Louis asked to make a statement before the sentence is made. Louis didn’t tell you, I know. Louis didn’t want you to worry about this. You know him, he’s worried about your fears, your exams, but we all think he needs you here.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to .on and Pt,  
> (Without whom this work would be shelved.)


	56. Chapter 56

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Louis addresses the court at Hathaway’s sentencing.
> 
> ***

Harry arrives to the courtroom where the Tomlinson trial was being held. The trial of Hathaway Tomlinson has become somewhat a sensation so Harry is not surprised to see many people are in the hall outside the room because there are always more people who want to attend this trial of the now infamous barrister than the room has capacity to accommodate.

Harry sees Liam waving him to come so he pushes through the crowd. Liam greets him with a brief, strong hug that says “I’m glad you’re here” while what he says is “I have a seat for you. Unfortunately they are running late so I have to go to work at the hospital before this is done but I’m going to lead you to where we are sitting before I go. We decided once Louis was set that you really need to be here too. The room is packed.”

Entering the courtroom the first sensation to hit Harry is that it’s hot. Really hot. Outside it’s winter. Final exams will release students to a whirl of festivities that descend as the holidays sweep in. The things outside the courtroom, cool air and people gearing for the coming celebrations is nothing like the atmosphere in the room.

In here it’s hell. Hot. Tense. Warring fractions sitting opposed.

Harry sees the Vissers are mostly all present as are the Deakins, mostly. This gives Harry the impression this is a secret only to him that Louis would be here today. Missing among the families is Lottie, she must be unable to get off work, and Soren who Harry knows had a prior commitment that took him over to France for the week. Liam directs Harry to sit next to Zayn and Niall. Harry is directed to slide through a row of filled seats to the one open spot. Before Liam starts to leave Harry asks, “Where's Louis?”

“There. Over there. Behind the prosecution, sitting between Troy and Dan.”

Sure enough sat there between the two fathers is Louis. Harry didn’t see Louis because of his diminutive stature. One member of the prosecution team is turned in his seat that is in front of where Louis is sat as if he is talking to to Louis.

Harry can see Louis is in a dark suit, charcoal grey, white shirt, likely also wearing a conservative tie. Even from behind Harry can tell Louis has styled his hair so his fringe is off his forehead, not in a big quiff, but more parted to the side in a very clean cut conservative look. Every detail was planned by the prosecution to make Louis look like he is not overtly gay just a typical all-around normal, whatever that is, sort of lad. 

Harry is desperate to see Louis’ face. How is it possible that Louis put this all aside, hiding from Harry the impending confrontation? Immediately Harry knows why. Exams. Louis wasn’t going to cause Harry distraction. How sweet. How brave. How foolish? Harry isn’t sure what it is but his heart is racing.

The door to the right side of the courtroom opens. In comes Hathaway Tomlinson. He’s not looking like the most powerful barrister although his composure is impressive. His eyes find Louis immediately and lock there. Harry can tell both Troy and Dan shift in their seat like they are reacting to the stare on the down low, likely saying something to Louis, maybe patting a knee.

Why is Louis here? Harry questions this in his head totally blanking out what Zayn and Niall are saying to him. They are commenting to Harry about Hath. Harry isn’t hearing them because he’s got thoughts of Louis filling his head. How is Louis doing this? Why? He’s still a minor. Soon he’s turning eighteen but right now he doesn’t have to do this, no need to confront the monster. Harry has a sudden, overwhelming urge to go to Louis. Pull him into his arms. Pick him up and take him away from here. Far away. 

Harry must have started to stand in his daydream because two things signal this; both Zayn and Niall pull him down to stay sat. His stand, brief as it was distracts Hathaway’s stare and he suddenly looks at Harry. It’s only a second or two, his scowl signalling his displeasure before he returns to a stare at Louis. Those in family Visser and Deakin catch the split second shift of attention so they take a look at what Hath set a sight on. This is the first they realize Harry is here. They smile through nervousness evidenced on their faces. Everyone, apparently, shares Harry’s concern about Louis being here.

Harry is sat again by his friends gentle guidance by the time the other side door of the courtroom opens. It’s announced the court is in session, a robed judge in a white wig is announced.

The session starts with a review of what the decision of the jury was on the charges. What a list of charges. From the most minor, bribery charges of various officials, to murder. The murder of Aiden Visser, which Harry learns now in court as the verdicts are reviewed, was indeed a hired job. In the middle of all the list were all the verdicts on the charges relative to what Louis’ experiences. 

Why is Louis here? Harry can’t understand.

The answer comes swift. The prosecution has arranged for a statement to be made before sentence is set. A statement from Louis. 

Louis stands, buttons the single button on his exquisitely tailored suit jacket, steps forward. The room that was quiet goes more silent still. Harry thinks his own breathing is the only sound anyone can hear as they wait for Louis to speak. 

With Louis standing between where prosecution team and defense team are stationed he is easier for Harry to seefrom the side. Harry knows what Louis’ skin looks like in every scenario. Fresh from the shower, chilled in the brisk air, during exercise, oh and shimmering with heat from sex. The Louis standing before this pressure is a Louis who is cool, calm, very collected. He’s not even verging of breaking a sweat. 

For sure some people must have a hard time hearing Louis from the back of the room as he speaks deliberative and slow. What he says opens with immediate impact. 

“Hand around my neck while this puppet master’s strings pulled levers in my brain....beginning when I was eleven. It was not when, as he testified in his trial, when some boy two years older than me saw the gay in me and forced me, no. It was also NOT when his hired child psychologist, hired to excise the gay from me, forced himself on me. No. It was not either of those times.

It happened first on the very same day when my mum’s coffin was lowered into the ground. 

We left the cemmentary in the rain. Typical looking day like is overly played scene of grief and loss in some movie but this scene was real.

After the guests who followed us back at the manor with more time paying more respects the only father I’d known took me upstairs. He said he observed how I was shivering even though once home, inside, it was warm and dry. Even in a wool suit I couldn't shake the cold of me mum’s passing.

That is why, he said, and I’m paraphrasing what his words were because I was only eleven, me mum dead after a brutal illness took her so I might not have every word exact, but he said he should like to get me warm. Make the shivering stop. I know now th cold was coming from my core. A chill I couldn’t shake, not even in warmth.

Numb. Obedient. I accepted his lead.

We went to the bathroom in his room. He made a hot bath for us in a giant tub into which he went first. For a long long time we soaked in quiet. I think, I seem to remember it that I fell asleep. 

What made me wake it was that he was washing me. Starting to talk. His voice was soft, I think I liked how his voice was because I hadn’t heard him sound like that for a long time. In the year or two before my mom died they fought a lot about me, so that is why it sounded strange, and well nice. He was telling me how important he is. How much people respect him. Admire him. Fear him. He laid out expectations for me. How the Tomlinson heir would need to be.

He described a son, well a son, probably not so much like me, and that is who I needed to be. 

Water became cool.He took me with him from the bath. He dried me. I distinctly remember he had a hard time looking me in the eyes. It seems to take him a long time to decide I was properly dry. 

When he did he said I was still cold. I remember that clearly. Instead of comfort this deeper cold had penetrated me withbhis words. His voice again sounding different. It was then I realized that I was shaking badly. 

We went to his bed. He said I need his warmth.

That meant I was to remain naked. Him too. He wrapped himself around me and I think in the heat of his body and the blankets made it so I slept. 

Next thing I remember was being rubbed all over. That is what woke me, his hands running over me. Was I cold again? I don’t think that was the feeling, I had been sleeping. Then it happened. His hands that hand been rubbing over me suddenly got me wrapped into him, a near crushing hug pulling me against his body, me bum side pulled into his front and I felt this wet, hot goo between us where there had been skin to skin. The goo came in squirts I felt, with each wet squirt he made this strange noise. There was this smell. I remember the smell. It was weird. I didn’t know what it was. The strange thing that was happening between us stopped. I was scared. I didn’t speak. I pretended I was still asleep even when he left to get a towel, even while he whiped the goo off of me. The entire time I just pretended I that was sleeping through it. 

This was months before the encounter with the boy next door who, in his testimony, he suggests I seduced. It was months before the psychologist he hired began treating me for being, as that child psychology expert described, a trigger for men’s desires. 

Speaking now on the subject of his sentence for what he did to me I have a plea.

Right father? That’s what you want? A plea from me for your case. Does your defense team know that a man brought to my guardian the an offer from you? Inheritance intact for a plea of leniency from me on your behalf?

Okay. I’ll plea for you. You, my loving father from when you adopted me at two years old, who has only ever tried to make me safe by teaching me that my sexuality is wrong. My sexuality causes the pain I’ve suffered. Everything that anyone ever did to me, the lad who lived next door, the psychologist, my own father, was my making. I accept that. I beg the court for his sentence to be light of the charges pertains to what my father did t o m e. He should have the best of care for his suffering. He too was grieving me mum. He couldn’t control himself. It was always my fault. I’ll accept that. 

But for this plea for leniency for him I don’t want his inheritance. Not any of it. 

Here is what I want.

I want to wake up a to se my guardian Patti Visser hasn’t got puffy eyelids in the morning from crying herself to sleep the night before. Her youngest son gone. His brothers say he was the best of them; Aiden Visser was a warm, kind, dignified, loving person. Loved by all who knew him. I’d give a trade to live thousand years in hell with my stepfather’s abuse if I could give Aiden back to his family. That is what I want for a plea of leniency.” 

Louis stopped. Harry senses that he had to at that point. Louis only speaks again to express gratitude to the court for the opportunity to speak. He turns and swiftly goes to sit. This gives Harry one fleeting glance of Louis’ face. Blank with resolve to do this without breaking into a thousand pieces Louis looks as Harry has seen him many times before when Hathaway played the puppet master. Harry has seen it at Payne’s, at the office of a client, at the art gallery, whenever, wherever, Louis has bottled up his emotions. Every time Louis does this Louis takes on a doll-like appearance that makes him seem like a porcelain figurine rather than a living, breathing, feeling person.


	57. Chapter 57

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Three really good things happen for Harry. (Maybe not the three he anticipates.)
> 
> ***

Insanely boisterous is the atmosphere outside the courtroom when the sentence reached the crowd gathered in the grand hallways. It would take a person multiple lifetimes to outlive the number of years Hathaway would face in prison. 

When Louis was escorted from the room Harry was unable to catch up to him because the entire courtroom flooded out in one packed mass of people. Many of those in the courtroom, not just Harry, wanted a word from Louis, a comment about the sensational experiences he had suffered. It took Troy, Dan, Grayson and Beck sheltering Louis in a walking huddle or sorts to shield Louis from questions and remarks. Harry couldn’t break through the crowd to gain ground. Forced to be held back traveling along with the crowd Harry too far behind Patti who had the escort of the three Deakin girls. 

Obviously the exit strategy was preplanned by Troy. From behind Louis’ huddle of escorts Harry notices that Walter must have been waiting outside, instructed to be so. Harry witnesses Walter being brief but direct to anyone snapping pictures of Louis. Probably Walter is informing them that they can’t use the photos for their tabloid rags because Louis is a minor. Suits will be filed for violating his privacy.

Once Harry makes it outside he has a view of a car waiting at the curb into which Troy tucks Louis before he and Dan join Louis. Grayson and Beck remain. They look to be waiting for their mum and Louis’ sisters. 

Harry feels an arm around him. It’s Zayn having caught up with Harry. “Hey you. You okay?”

Niall comes to Harry’s other side. “Pint. We need to get several pints.” The comment reflecting a natural reaction to the scope of the drama that has left them all drained even though the outcome for Hathaway was extremely bad.

Outside the courthouse the crowd that was present disperse. Less constriction from being in a mob of people doesn’t lessen a feeling of constriction Harry has in his chest. 

“Louis, I need to get to Louis. Where do you think they’re taking him?”

“Call him you idiot.” Zayn says as he lights a cigarette. 

Harry calls Louis. The voice mail message plays immediately indicating Louis’ phone is likely still off. Zayn says “Troy” so Harry tries that number. Troy isn’t the voice that answers. It’s Louis’; it’s soft and tiny bit wavering like maybe in the car, away from onlookers Louis is having a breakdown, maybe crying now that the horrible events are over with. 

“Haarreh, where are you?” 

Where am I, where am I? Harry thinks. “Where are you Louis?” 

“M’ on me way to surprise you, your exam, how’d it go?” Louis sounds so soft, exhausted, it’s almost identical to what his voice is like when they’ve finished several bouts of sex and the need for sleep takes over such that Louis mumbles more than he articulates. 

“Surprise me? What? My exam, forget that, where are you? You’ve already surprised me. Louis I was there, I’m standing outside the courthouse right now with Zayn and Niall. I heard the entire thing. Every word you said.” 

“Oh.” Louis says. There’s a long pause. It is so long that Harry looks at his phone to see if their connection has dropped before Louis whispers still more faint, “Um...surprise?” 

“Yes Louis, surprise. You are a constant surprise. I don’t know how you did that, but you did and you are amazing. Amazing, surprising, complicated, perfect. And you’re mine to care for so where are you?” 

“With Dan and Troy. Going home, to the flat, to surprise you...after your exam...” 

“Never mind that. Hey, look me and the lads are leaving here now, you tell the dads to bring you to The Pub in the Alley. Let’s celebrate the sentence, have you eaten? I bet you haven’t. You never eat when your stressed. Let’s get some pub food like you love so much and celebrate his going away for an eternity.” 

*** 

The Pub in the Alley is so named because it is...a pub...in an alley. It’s an understandably low-profile establishment, the type of place locals know but many never discover despite how good it’s food actually is because of its odd position off the main thoroughfare. 

Harry, Zayn, and Niall arrive and find Troy and Dan have a table for ten, Louis sat between them, their arms around him. As the three approach Dan yields his spot to Harry who takes no time to wrap Louis in his arms while he kisses Louis’ forehead twice before planting a public ally acceptable sort of kiss on Louis’ lips. As Dan settles into a different seat, Niall and Zayn sitting too as a waitress brings a pitcher of beer. Seeing there are more people she says she’ll be back with more glasses and menus. 

Within a few minutes Grayson and Beck arrive. Once they join the group everyone begins talking animatedly with no one saying a word about the thing that just happened. It’s likely that they see how Louis is sort of clinging onto Harry; Harry having an arm around Louis back, Louis has an arm around Harry’s back too and the other one extending across Harry’s frontside with his head laying on Harry’s shoulder. Louis’ face shows fatigue. Louis remains quiet as everyone else chatters leaving the two lovers to be at peace while their artifically pleasant conversations are acted out so to pretend like no one is thinking about the past anymore. It’s past. 

Harry does a pattern behavior as he listens to the gragarious conversations around them. The pattern is that Harry takes a sip of his beer, puts a kiss on the top of Louis’ head, continues taking in the conversation of others. This pattern continues through the ordering of food, more beers, food eaten by all, except Louis who picks at things but eats virtually nothing. By the time the tab is paid Louis looks to be nearly sleeping where he remains more or less tucked into Harry processing his day. 

Later, after Louis and Harry are seen home to their university district flat by the group, Harry gets Louis to bed after a very slow, sensual process of undressing his emotionally drained lover. 

Louis’ suit pocket has his phone. Harry turns it on just in case anyone wants to reach Louis given that he knows both the families Visser and Deakin would rather have Louis with them to dote on, but they won’t call, just let him rest. Harry will take care of him. The activated phone dumbs messages across the screen. Several are Harry’s from earlier. One identifies the Department of Music. 

Harry can’t resist. He plays that voice mail. 

“This message is for Harry Styles. A formal letter is coming but we at the Department of Music but we are happy to inform you that the Department is offering you the award. Great job with the audition. We look forward to setting you up with an advisor to assist with the courses you should consider. Contact us as soon as you can to make an appointment particularly if you’ll be traveling over the holidays since we should have your class schedule made before the coming term starts in the new year. Very excited to offer you this. Congratulations.” 

Harry looks over at the sleeping Louis. Exhaustion of years wearing him into this state of sleep that’s so deep it’s near death. His breathing is barely visible. His skin normally sunny and warm to the eye to behold is paler. Even in his rest his eyes have darkness under the place that lashes rest because he’s so weary from years of the suffering reconciled some, yes, by the sentence. Yet no. No sentence will bring back Aiden. In the court today that is what Louis asked for. Harry looks at Louis phone. The message said Harry has a scholarship of sorts. Less money from his pocket he has to spend to educate himself. Louis has his one year stipend too. Every cent Harry can avoid spending on his needs in a cent he can use to take care of Louis. Louis who by virtue of the Tomlinson inheritance Louis should be living like a prince when he turns eighteen. Instead he pushed it all away. Only Aiden’s resurrection would have served making him bow down one last time to the puppet master by making a plea for leniency. 

***

Harry wakes wondering why he feels this urgency again because he did, after so many pints consumed at the Pub, already wake twice to have a pee, when it strikes him. 

This is not a calling of that nature. 

No. It’s Louis. 

Barely any light comes in to the bedroom as the hour is early yet there is light enough for Harry to see why he feels so urgent. Louis is between his legs, Harry’s cock in hand as he is slurping loudly as he swallows dick. 

“Louiisss,” Harry softly murmurs settling into this waking. Louis hums an answer that is sort of tone raising like to say “Huh?” 

Louis doesn’t break off from his tasks. Instead one hand runs up from Harry’s pelvis area seeking a nipple. Finding one nipple by feel Louis twists it. Harry’s back arches. This has Louis popping off, coming up moving to hover over Harry to bite the other nipple while his finger plays with the one he’s just twisted. 

Before Harry can make a little squeal again Louis kisses him, silencing Harry. 

Louis sort of lays on Harry staying with kisses as his body does some rhythmic rutting over Harry’s. Harry hands find Louis’ bum where they stay letting Louis drive the intensity of the kissing, enjoying the sensation of each hand filled with such a spectacularly full bum. Harry feels Louis’ body becoming more aroused; Louis’ cock fills out with each undulation of his body against Harry’s. 

As soon as Louis pulls back and slips down between Harry’s legs to resume sucking Harry off Harry thinks his first cognitively composed thought. 

“Stop babe, it’s supposed to be my job to make you feel good...” 

Harry was meaning to refer to following how the stress of the day before was so great it was his job to do Louis but Louis seems to want to have none of it. He stops only for the purpose of lightly nipping the inside of a thigh then resumes consuming Harry’s length, a hand working in concert. It feels so good Harry hasn’t the ability to try to stop Louis again. Louis sees him through an orgasm. Only after Harry’s shouts turn to whimpers does Louis slide back up along Harry’s body coming to lay at his side, arm over Harry’s chest the two cuddled tight. 

“So what do we do,” Harry asks stealing a brief kiss mid sentence, “about this hard prick of yours poking my hip?” 

Louis springs up. He straddles Harry’s face. “Lick me hole.” 

Louis doesn’t have to say more. They shift positions. 

Harry somewhat adjust Louis with hands on hips so Louis is the right place for his mouth to make Louis sit proper for this as he licks over, around a tight puckering of skin. Harry knows Louis is pumping his dick it’s the only thing that causes motion as Louis is staying precisely where Harry has him Harry can do his magic without even impaling Louis. Within a minute Louis thighs signal orgasm, his puckering to, which Harry enjoys too as he keeps his tongue pressed there liking that he can make Louis come with such ease. 

Finished, Louis flops down beside Harry. The light in the room growing so Harry can see Louis face is restored, the dark circles of utter exhaustion are gone. Replacing that is a refreshed Louis, one with hair toused every which way, eyes bright and slight smirk on his face of contentment. 

“It was for me to do a nice wakeup call for you today, not the other way around.” Harry says taking Louis into his arms pulling them into one. 

“What d’ya mean? I’m not the one taking an exam in maths today. It’s essential we keep the tradition through the entire week so you do your best. After yesterday, all I want is some good news so we can start living a happily ever after.” 

Harry smiles. “So Louis, you should really check your phone messages.” 

*** 

Harry thought the ecstatic feelings he had when his grades were posted at the end of his first term, all very good, there could be nothing more exciting to share with Louis. He was wrong. 

Next, Harry thought after his first meeting with his new academic counselor for the music program, his award bringing him into a new community, that this is the most exciting thing ever, was something so exciting that he could not wait to share it with Louis. Harry was wrong about that too. 

However, now as Harry is leaving the jewelers with the ring he and Bethany designed for Louis, Harry wishes it was already the 24th. As Bethany promised the ring was finished three days before Louis’ birthday. Now that Harry has the ring Harry can’t wait to share this with Louis. He smiles thinking how it will be a huge surprise. Harry has taken measures to reveal this plan to absolutley no one. He’s looking forward to being able to take away from Louis the only thing Louis has left teathering him to Hathaway, the name Tomlinson, since Louis’ action in the sentencing certified the Tomilinson estate would not go to Louis. This is why Harry thinks, if they were to get married soon, like Harry hopes, Louis could start Uni in the new year as Louis William Styles, a Tomlinson no more. 

Harry is playing a scene through his mind of how he will actually to the proposal while he is on his way to meet Louis at the Deakins. He knows he’ll take a knee, maybe offer Louis a single rose with the ring on the stem. Is that too predictable? Harry can’t decide. He’s got a couple days to organize the details. How ever he does this he must make it memorable and romantic. The more Harry runs proposal scenarios through his mind the more he thinks he would like the evening with Dan and the girls to end particularly early because he thinks he can only resist giving this ring immediately to Louis if he staves off his desire by giving Louis his heart in other more physical ways. 

In the few days he has to wait until it’s Louis’ birthday, this the holiday season their nights have all been scheduled. They are to spend with one family or the other, Visser or Deakin, along with their three closest friends. It’s seems since the trial of Hathaway the relationships between Mr Horan and Mr Malik and their sons have dissintigrated. Both men are challenged to reconcile how they turned a blind eye to the abuse going on in the house next door. How they would socialized with Hathaway routinely, the three men frequently discussing how homos were an aberration meanwhile Hathaway was hiding his brand of deviancy, the real sin. This Niall, Zayn and Liam, of course, have become as much a member of this Visser-Deakin clan as Harry is, all of them tied by the love Aiden had for Louis and the support of Aiden’s family for Louis even after Aiden’s passing. 

Harry thinks about how in some ways it’s impossible to separate these two families as two distinct units because in addition to Louis being the glue it seems Soren has become very seriously involved with Lottie. He hasn’t said it, but Soren can’t seem to away from Lottie for a second, unless they are at work. It’s a whirlwind pace between the two; a relationship everyone embraces. 

Arriving to the Deakin home Harry takes a look at the ring one last time. It’s platinum with a rope enlay of yellow gold that goes around the ring broader except for on the top where it makes an eternity knot so the loop is continuous. Pleased with how this represents them, Harry stows the ring in the car before he goes in to join the family. 

The large, shaggy family dog, Buddy, who is more hair, than bones and muscle, greets Harry at the door. Voices indicate that everyone is in the living room. Entering that room brings Harry to hysterics. 

Standing on a stool in the center of room is Louis. He’s as Harry saw him when Louis left their flat in the morning to do some “Christmas shopping”, which Louis has been doing a lot of for the past week, before coming here. Louis is wearing some faded denim jeans, a sweater with a sloppy neck line that shows his collarnones, sleeves that come down over his hands but notably Louis is in additional, holiday, trappings. 

Trappings in the form of being wrapped in wide, shimmery ribbon and a strand of fully lit Christmas lights. On his head is a large gold fabric bow that looks made to be for a very large package. 

Three Deakin girls receive Harry as a group pulling him toward the bound, decorated Louis. 

“Harry we couldn’t decide what to give you for Christmas so we put THIS together for you. Isn’t IT perfect! Do you like IT?”

Louis can’t raise his arms. Or step down. He’s wrapped so tight. His smile he is giving Harry shows how he could care less because he loves this attention from the girls. This is the life he deserves. Loved by a family. Accepted without condition. The estate of Hathaway Tomlinson, its massive fortune? Louis could care less about the latter. 

*** 

Harry and Louis are the last to arrive to the Deakins’ on Christmas Eve. Louis was waiting for something he has planned to give Harry for Christmas, thus the delay, as Louis insisted the delay was essential. On this, Louis’ birthday, the plan is to do the gifts. A long time ago the plan was made so that the two families, three dear friends, all could go to a shelter and do volunteer work in the morning on Christmas Day. After the service they would then have a family (and friends) dinner back at the Visser home. 

Harry has an orchid that he is using for how he will give Louis the ring as he proposes on one knee with everyone present. Louis seems clueless. He has something distracting him. Something about his gift for Harry. Whatever it is it cannot come close to Harry’s, how could it. 

Harry and Louis enter a lively, festive home. As soon as they do Harry is aware of how he is being stared at. 

What is going on? Did someone figure out his plan? Why are they looking at him with weird smiles, Cheshire grins, intensely watching him? It’s not his birthday. 

Harry looks at Louis. Louis has a tell-tale grin too. Louis eyes meet Troy’s. It’s a question. Troy nods an affirmative. Louis takes Harry’s hand. The hord of Dan, Lottie, Soren, Fizzy, Patti, Phoebe, Daisy, Liam, Zayn, Niall, Beck, Grayson and Troy who were all standing, shift so as to part. Behind them, blocked from Harry’s sight because of the thirteen family and friends prior positioning is a young woman seated in a wheel chair. 

When she is revealed she smiles at Harry. Her dark brown eyes are warm and kind. Her smile known to Harry. Like a wave. Harry is kicked by an indescribable force. 

Louis still holds Harry’s hand. He tugs Harry as he states for Harry what Harry can’t imagine is real though Harry is staring at the person before him with his own eyes. 

“Harry I realized it’s been eight years since you saw her last. During that time she’s been in recovery after a long time kept in a medically induced coma, for years after she has been in one painful rehab program after another to try to regain use of her body, but I’m sure you recognize Gemma. Your sister. Happy Christmas Harry.” 

*** 


	58. Chapter 58

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The greatest gift and a proposal.
> 
> ***

When two over hours have passed Harry has been talking with Gemma non stop as Louis has presented him with the ultimate surprise, the best present ever, one that is in short nothing less than a miracle. 

Harry learns this miraculous discovery involved Louis getting help from both Troy and Ben Winston. Louis requested both help. They began turning over a stones after Louis came to them with copies of the reports from newspapers published years ago about a fatal car wreck at the time Harry family were lost. To Troy and Ben Louis questioned the wording in the newspapers, suggesting it was interpretable in more than one way. Sure enough, with relative ease, Gemma was found to have been a survivor. Not that her story was an easy one. 

The papers said three lifeless bodies of a family had to be pried from their car, but reports didn’t accurately address the condition of all of them once they were successfully extracted. The administrators at Harry’s school were acting on the facts that Harry’s parents were dead on impact. Gemma was actually alive though her condition so bad, it was believed she wouldn't live beyond another day. The ideal way to communicate this didn’t come to be said because the shocked child-Harry literally ran out from the office before everything could be explained.

Scared, Harry was on the run and in self-imposed hiding from the moment he fled his school. He had no way to know when Gemma held on for another day. Two days became three, four, a week. In time her condition became such that the doctors became hopeful that Gemma could be brought out of her induced coma though her life going forward would be one of pain and constant extreme medical needs. 

Gemma describes herself to Harry as more metal pins and rods than flesh, but she doesn’t make it sound like she minds. Her sense of humor about her misfortune is exactly like that of the sister from his childhood that Harry remembers; the sister who liked to paint her little brother’s nails all those years ago, always making one nail an odd color in contrast to the other nine just to make sure his hands would be noticed. As they talk Gemma’s humor about her misfortune is so true to the sister Harry remembers that she evens beams as she tells Harry how Louis, on their second or third of daily meetings before this surprise reunion brought magnets on one visit with her. Gemma shares how Louis shows up with them saying he wants to put magnets on her to prove to himself if she really is more pins and rods than actual flesh.

That story has Harry looking over to Louis who is sitting with Zayn and Liam. Like everyone else Louis is letting brother and sister talk on on one, organically discover each other’s missing years, while the others all go on about Christmas Eve festivities. While Gemma and Harry catch up Louis is clearly enjoying watching them, pleased with himself, his smile tells Harry all is good. So this begs the question, how much did Louis tell her about Harry?

Harry happily avoids talking about himself. He intently listens to the story of his sister’s life over the last eight years. 

Gemma’s life was mostly spent living in the hospital for surgeries, rehab between the numerous operations it took to rebuild her 39 broken bones. She tells Harry how immediately after the accident her and Harry’s living relatives were contacted. Their aunt, Anne’s sister, was already living in a home for persons with Alzheimer’s, as sadly she had the early onset of the disease. She could be of no help to Gemma or a missing Harry. 

Given that the aunt, who was unmarried, was unfit the role of guardian, the respondiablity fell to their uncle. Anne’s brother, married, with three children of his own, took on overseeing his niece’s care for the first two years. He worked with the bank to obtain the house go into sale for covering her extensive medical bills. Once the money from that sale ran out, which happened within the first year, he tried to pay for Gemma’s continued extraordinarily expenses on his own. By a year of that the strain it put on his family was evident. He died of a heart attack the very day he was to start a third job to pay for all the demands of his family’s needs and Gemma’s. Once he was gone his wife submitted to the courts that she didn’t want to be the guardian of the child of no blood relation to her. Gemma was a made ward of the state.

All this time, despite the odds as she got stronger and stronger, she tells Harry, she wanted to know what happened to her baby brother? Where was he? If he was a runaway why has no one found him? No one could give her answers.

“...you see Harry while was being moved around from place to place hoping to continue to get better all I wanted was to be able to stand up, walk out the door, back to where they saw you last and search for you. As much as I was in pain I wondered, where was my beautiful baby brother. Why did no one care about him? Why was no one looking for him, you...”

Gemma’s confession told in tears has her and Harry hugging, something they’ve been doing a lot of over the course of two hours. It’s probably the twentieth time they’ve both broke into tears and cried, but mostly these have been tears of joy of being found to each other again. 

Gemma composes herself, gets back to what happened to bring her back to Harry. “Seems like everytime the state moves me to a new place it’s worse than the last one. Where I am now is funded by big drug companies, they like to pray upon the residents, deceive them about therapies, have people sign off to be guiena pigs for drug trials. This is why when ten days ago, I’m told I have a visitor, I’m worried immediately. Even though I’m in constant pain I really try to avoid anything that keeps my mind from staying clear. 

A nurse tells me about a guest requesting to see me. She sees I’m worried, says I should agree to see the guest; he’s not from big pharma, and she emphasizes, he’s really cute. This particular nurse is like my only real friend. She tells me the guest is waiting for me in the lounge should I want to meet him. She says I’ll know who he is by the flowers. He has flowers for me! He’s got flowers, she says. 

At this point I wonder if it’s you. I ask her to describe him. She says he’s young, barely legal if that, insanely good looking. I’m positive at that point that it is you. It has to be. That is until she says he has gorgeous blue eyes, no, not just blue, she corrects herself but cerulean. I was so hoping she would say green. My baby brother has green eyes no one could confuse as some other color. 

Okay so I know that it’s not you. But what the hell, nothing exiting has happened to me, since, we’ll forever, so I go. The lounge is a big room. Lots of activities go on there. Most residents who socialize regularly are there so the room is busy. To be sure I saw the flowers on a table by a couch as I wheel myself in, but I don’t know this lad whose brought them. He strikes me as a perfect incarnation of Peter Pan. With in seconds of Louis introducing himself I am in tears because he’s there to see me because he’s hoping to bring me to my brother who all these years has thought I was dead.”

Gemma trembles, before she can cry agian Harry is hugging her. “Louis has been coming every day since to see me. He brings me flowers, orchids because they are my favorite, he learned. He brings me treats, candy enough so the entire community of residents love his arrival because we always share them. He’s been bringing me new clothes, like this outfit I’m wearing. Louis said he picked it special for today because he says you’d love it. He’s been telling me little stories about you. And seeing how rundown the faculty is he started preparations for securing me a new home for residents with my kind of needs, although it seems, I just learned before you showed up that Troy and Patti have an idea of their own. They are in the process of looking at ways to accommodate wheel chair access in their home for me. I guess they have a big house and lots of extra rooms since their youngest son died, a tradgedy I understand happened not so long ago.”

Harry senses that Louis hasn’t told Gemma all the details of his relationship to Aiden Visser, Harry, the dynamics that tie two families together. As if to verify that she goes on sounding happier as she asks Harry something he’s been wanting to avoid as he is not entirely sure how to address.

“...so I understand that for a short time you and Louis were living with them, but now you’ve moved back into you own flat, something he said about how you’ve completed your first term at Uni, panning on paying your own way through, apparently despite being virtually an orphan you’ve made a success of yourself at a very young age.”

Harry looks at Louis. Louis must know from a change of expression on Harry’s face that Gemma is asking the question. 

“So tell me Harry, Louis has told me so much about you that are the little things, not really about what you do, or how you came out of being alone to raise yourself and yet he says you are very well set. Uni education is to embark on a second career, retired from some lucrative one you were working.”

Harry is sure he doesn’t know how to do this. Gemma’s face shows how she is genuinely open and kind, just understandably curious. How does he tell her?

As if by cue to rescue him Patti and Dan come from the kitchen with fourteen glasses of champagne on two trays. Dan is saying they are to toast so many things to celebrate, the season, having family, finding long lost family, friendships, a birthday and so on when Soren jumps in and cuts himmoff once the glasses have been handed out. 

Soren electing to set his champagne glass aside says, “Ah yes but wait, first, before we toast. Can I ask one question so maybe we have yet another thing to celebrate?”

Oh wait, Harry thinks as he sees Soren reach to take something from hiding that was behind a chair. It’s a single long stemmed, red rose. 

No wait, Harry thinks as Soren goes to one knee taking Lottie’s glass away to have her left hand in his.

No, no wait! Harry thinks as he looks at this scene that should be his and Louis’.

“Charlotte Deakin, I know we haven’t known each other long but will you do me the honor of marrying me?”

Everyone is stunned, none more than Harry. Lottie, clearly caught by surprise, says “Yes! Yes Soren Visser I will marry you!” Kissing him while he is still on his knees before her.

It seems way too fast for Soren and Lottie to be going forward, Harry thinks, but as everyone is clapping, toasting this joyously and happy surprise. 

Harry sighs. He is left mute. Alone to think, damn that should be his thunder of applause. Louis is heard to say “...best birthday ever,” about this turn of events. Before Harry can think what to say as his opportunity was stripped away, he steps out of the room to recover the orchid in a box he’d stuck behind the open door between the two rooms. Slipping off the lid, Harry removes the ring, stuffs the ring safely in a pocket. Replacing the lid he steps back into the room. Coming to Gemma’s side as she watches the happy congrats shared around by families Visser and Deakin Harry sits again offering her the box. 

“It’s seems ironic, mystical in a way, that for some reason I was compelled. I bought this today. Picked it out for someone special but I didn’t know why. Until now. Happy Christmas Gemma, but going forward I want to make everyday like Christmas for you. I just want you to know this bad thing about me, to be honest. I wasn’t retiring from some great career like people want to brag about. Was I doing something illegal? Yes. Did I hurt people? Well maybe, if they wanted that. You see Gemma I was an escort. A prostitute. A high class whore.” 

Gemma was looking at the content of the box whose lid so easily open to reveal the flower until Harry’s tone turned to a series of dark questions. Having everyone distracted by Soren and Lottie is perfect cover for this reveal between them. Gemma’s face once bright and smiling as she looked at the flower turns as she studies him as he completes his confession. Gemma’s expression is shows her perplexed state, her confusion. It takes several seconds before she sorts out what she heard. Harry can see the transformation as soon as she sets her mind to it. Her heart goes out to Harry, this is clear. She takes a hand to the side of his face setting it there to cup his cheek. Some tears swell in her eyes. 

“Harry, you should never have to suffer making such a choice. Your older sister, child too or not, should have been there to protect you. I’m sorry. Being a penniless cripple wouldn’t stop me if I could have been in your life to guide you even though I was a child too.” 

Louis has appeared beside them finally with neither noticing until he repositions to sit so close to Harry it’s nearly in Harry’s lap. 

Seeing the complex emotions written on their faces Louis summisses what has happened. “We confided everything I’m gathering. No secrets? No shaming? Sure hope so or this isn’t the perfect birthday.” 

Harry kisses Gemma’s hand which he steals away from his face. “Perfect birthday intact. No secrets. No shame.” 

Louis smiles at brother and sister. Seeing the flower laying in the box that is sat on Gemma’s lap he says, “Well isn’t that ironic? That she should be here with you knowing nothing about it, that being her favorite kind of flowers. That sure is an exceptionally beautiful one Harry. Sort of makes Soren’s rose seem drab.” 

“I’ll have you know Louis,” Harry starts to say. His fingers find the ring in his pocket. He fiddles with it. 

Louis looking bemused about everything says, “Know what? You’ll have me know what Harry?” 

Harry decides to leave the ring. He slips his hand out of his pocket, takes Louis’ hand with his much like how Soren just took Lottie’s as he proposed. 

Holding Louis’ hand Harry’s says, “Something’s are simply just perfect. Like your present to me. I had a feeling something very, very special was going to happen today. I don’t know why but I was compelled to buy this. Wish I could tell you why. Oh and hey, I did get a nice gift for you too. Reach into my pocket Louis.” 

Louis has two choices. Two pockets. In one is the ring. In the other is an envelope. The envelope was to back up the ring, the proposal. Had Louis said “yes”. Harry would arrange for them to get a marriage license on Monday, go to the justice of the piece on Tuesday, get the legality done immediately to take away the name Tomlinson. Later they could do a formal wedding reception or post wedding party. For certain though, before the classes began, Harry wantedthe name Tomlinson gone, a mini honeymoon shared. The envelope was that part of Harry’s romantic planning. Inside the envelope is a reservation confirmation for the honeymoon suite at a luxurious Paris hotel that Harry particularly likes. 

Harry leaves it to fate. 

Louis reaches. 

His hand slides into a pocket. Why did he do that? He reached around Harry to the pocket farthest from him. It’s the envelope Louis slides out, not the ring. 

Harry sighs. Seems engagement today was not meant to be.


	59. Chapter 59

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Harry does a balancing act, ring in his pocket, burning need to propose.

Christmas Day comes and goes without Harry getting a chance to propose. 

Harry would have. 

Unfortunately most of the day was spent at a large London homeless shelter with the Visser and Deakin families working together as volunteers helping shelter volunteers. 

To be sure, this was certainly not the kind of romantic setting Harry was looking for doing a marriage proposal. Moreover it also never felt right because anytime Harry would look over at Louis, he realized that he would have to take Louis away from doing one of the things Louis is best at. Insert Harry’s sex dream, not that, thing, but his o t h e r talent. As everyone else volunteering was serving food, Louis who came to the shelter with a guitar, had come to charm even the most diehard, raggedy bunch of underprivileged homeless vagabonds, much to the delight of the shelter staff. The staff encouraged Louis to stay with doing his impromptu performance since he was bringing out in some of their shelter regulars a more social side than the somewhat estranged types show normally. 

After the long day volunteering the two families met up for their Christmas Day dinner. Since Gemma had been determined to help at the shelter, demonstrating her remarkable ability to put the needs of others ahead of hers, the Christmas dinner became more of another celebration of having Gemma back in Harry’s life so this lead Harry to feeling it would be odd to flip the direction of the evening into over to a proposal.

This is why when the families were getting together again on Monday, meeting out together for dinner at a restaurant, Harry is looking forward to a chance to ask Louis to marry him. Harry had spent most of the day with Gemma, brother and sister getting to know each other better. By the time Harry arrives to the restaurant, bringing Gemma too, it feels as if the ring he’s got in a pocket is about to burn a hole through the fabric. He wants so desperately to ask Louis. 

Harry hopes he has come up with a properly romantic way of going about doing the ask. Escorting Gemma into to the restaurant it seems that Harry and Gemma are joining a nearly full table. Only a chair for each of them remains vacant. The presence just poured glasses of Champagne at every seat suggests there is more to celebrate. Harry assumes the Deakins and Vissers were preparing to do more celebration of Soren and Lottie meanwhile Louis appears to be exceedingly hyper, springing up to greet Harry, his body nearly melts into Harry’s as he gives Harry a hug and a passionate kiss that’s a little more overt than most of his public shows of affection.

This gives Harry encouragment that he can order for Louis something nice for desert after having arranged with a waiter for the ring to be placed with. While it won’t be as good as his original plan Harry needs to get this done, get their union sealed on paper before they use their Paris reservation for the 30th, 31st and more important, have Louis name made Styles before the start of classes in late January.

Harry fingers the ring in his pocket as they first find the best place to have Gemma sit as Grayson takes charge of picking her up from the wheelchair, placing her in an open seat by him, leaving awkward wheelchair off to the side away from the path of restaurant patrons and staff. Louis is pulling at Harry’s arm wildly pestering him. Harry wants to make sure his sister is set, while he’s ignoring Louis even though his brain is thinking “ring, the ring must be put on Louis’ finger”. 

Several minutes into Louis talking with Harry focusing on a weird attentiveness by Grayson directed to Gemma, Harry begins listening to what Louis says as he’s tugging so very excitedly while he speaks.

“...it’s just inconceivable, wait until you see them, tons of pictures, letters, and more. I’d like us to be alone when I go through them because I don’t know how to do it. It’s just insane having everything he took away back and more, things I don’t rememdber were missing.”

Harry suddenly realizes his not listening to Louis is very poorly timed. He stops focusing on Grayson's manner with Gemma, switches his focus to his intended fiancé. 

“Louis, Louis, slow down. Whatever are you running on about? Your talking so fast it’s hard to keep up.” Harry says slowly in contrast to Louis’ hyper rambling. 

“Haven’t you been listening? I said a courier delivered a packet of legal documents, because I’m eighteen. It’s papers from the bank that me mum had an account that she never turned over to be joint property with Hathaway. Papers authoring me to have access to keys for a safety deposit box that was put in my name exclusively following her death. Apparently Hathaway was able to put deposits into it, as guardian, but he had no authority to remove things. Troy and me went to see what the contents are, it was so full they had to put most contents into a secondary box because that is where Hathaway was putting the pictures he took, and there’s more,” 

Everyone round them seated are sipping champagne and softly talking among themselves except Troy, Patti and Dan. The three of them are studying Harry and Louis who are standing as they speak. Harry looks at Troy. Troy nods. Harry looks back at Louis, “So are you saying that there is a safety deposit box that was secured because it was solely in your name after your mum died?” 

“Yes.” 

“And for some reason Hathaway was putting personal items like pictures in there for safe keeping?” 

“Yes.” 

Harry searches his mind. “It’s hard to fathom why he’d do that. Why would he do that?” 

“I don’t know. Troy and me went to the bank immediately after the courier came. I was given a set of keys. They told me a safety deposit was set up by Jay years ago, after I was born, and she never released the contents to be handled by anyone other than her or me if she were to die. The woman who handles safety deposit boxes said that some years ago Hathaway would show up with legal envelopes, sealed, and request to add them to the box because he was my step father. She said this went on for some years and then one day she recalled after always adding contents, he wanted to go through the contents. That’s when he learned, married or not, he had no authority to extract contents only add them. I think that was around when he thought I was being a proper daddy’s boy. From what she said I gather that is when, you know, I was more pleasing for him, maybe he intended to reward me with something he took, bringing something back. The point is, it seems every picture I remember from my childhood is there, others too, ones I don’t remember. And Harry, Harry there’s so much more. You are going to have to help me with this, we discovered looking at the box of stuff, it looks like me mum was writing to me every day after she got sick, when she had to stay at the hospital. I never saw any of the letters. He had them. But here’s the irony, he stuck them in the box, the box he didn’t know he couldn’t access. That’s why the champagne, we’re celebrating this, and Gemma, and Lottie and Soren’s engagement.” 

Harry cradles Louis’ face in his hands. He kisses over Louis’ face. This gift Jay left which was unknown to Louis all these years since her passing is huge. When Harry pulls away Louis smiles yet some tears well up in his eyes, this gift significant beyond measure as he completes his thought. 

”It’s like first we got your sister back and now in some small way it’s like I get some part of me mum back. Can you believe it? I tried reading one of the notes me mum wrote while she was hospitalized, I couldn’t do it. Later, maybe tonight, because were supposed to be celebrating, you have to help me read them. Maybe slowly, in order, I don’t know. I’m just sort of overwhelmed, happily, but maybe also a little afraid. Reading her words, it’s gonna be...”

Harry doesn’t care that they are standing in a busy restaurant, easily observed by many. He cups Louis’ face again and kisses him. He cares not who watches or about the ring. He only cares to convey to his lover his depth of compassion for this significant recovery. 

*** 

“My sweet Louis, 

I’m going to be here at the hospital for a while longer. The treatment now is starting to make me very sleepy. I’m sorry, I’m afraid I might be asleep when your father brings you to see me. This is why I am going to write you. Everyday my sweet sweet Louis, I will write, leave the letter beside me so if I miss you there is for you what I would say. You can leave me notes too. Or those doodles you do. Just let me know everyday that you are doing okay. Tell me what happened at school, with friends, whatever. 

I spoke with your father. He promises he let you be you. I know you heard us arguing about that. It’s okay sweetie, I promise you it’s okay for you to be exactly who you are, my brave, sweet, playful, talented little piece of sunshine. Be true to who you are. You make me proud.” 

By passing to Harry the first letter Jay wrote in hospital is the only way Louis can let him see it’s contents. Harry has to read it himself because one brief note has Louis with tears making everything a blur. Harry understands. The bittersweet is powerful. 

Harry reads the note, hands the it back. Louis is sniffling. The one note, be it short, is enough in and of itself to send Louis over the edge, emotions a mix of so many. After dinner last night they decided to leave these treasured discoveries for morning. Once they got to them on Tuesday Harry finds that Louis had probably spent his Monday sorting the piles of paper into catagories. Photos in several piles, letters sorted by date. There are two piles of letters. Letters from mother to son and son to mother. Interestly at some point the ones from Louis became notably unopened. 

“Did you see her every day?” Harry asks as he flips through a handful of the letters from Jay. All of them, except the first one they’ve just read are sealed. 

“No. When she got to this point he stopped letting me see her. That’s when he took me out of school. The last time I saw her she said she would be writing me notes everyday, basically what this one says, she’d write me incase she was too tired. I should write her too, she said. When he went to see her after a certain point where she wasn’t seeming to be getting better, he went without me. He said it was me being young. I knew then she was really sick. I wrote to her. Gave them to him to take to her.” 

Louis stops. He’s got the second letter from her. He inspects it’s envelope before he dares to open it, gives Harry more than an inkling of his thoughts. 

“He gave her not one thing I sent with him for her. You see the pile from me are all unopened. Can you believe that? I sealed them because they were private, I don’t want him reading what I wrote. I rather not think about it but he had to have lied to her, made up a story. I know what he told me. I was told she was too tired, but when I was sorting these yesterday I noticed the earlier notes are written in her normal handwriting, like she was okay. As okay as she could be. Then the writing becomes messier, like she’s gotten worse. The last of them are labeled with the date and it is in someone else’s hand writing ‘To Louis’. I can imagine as she got weaker she kept writing my but be dictation all the while everyday he saw her and she had nothing from me. I know I never stopped writing her until she was gone. I know that. It’s not the type of thing I could forget. Now all I can think of is how cruel he was. To keep me from her. Her from me. He had to take me from school because of, as he said, ‘my problem with boys’, but why did he have to do that? Why did he have to deny her my love?” 

Harry makes Louis give him the second letter. He opens it being as neat with the envelope as he can as to preserve it. “Maybe I should call Gemma and postpone going to get her?” 

“No, don’t do that. Patti has the contractor coming so they can modify for wheelchair access and she wants Gemma to decide which room she wants. This is really important for Gemma. You have to admit that residential care home is kind of shit. The sooner she gets out of there the better she is going to live life. We can do another letter later, when you get home. I want to sort the pictures more anyway. I need to pick some to put back in frames, decide what kind of photo albums I need for the others. I’m okay doing that myself. Go on Harry. Help your sister. I’ll be fine.” 

Harry lays the sencond letter from Jay on the table. He notices a large envelope that looks like no other off to itself. Picking it up Harry’s says, “What’s this?” 

Louis looks at the legal sized envelop with a bank label on it. “Don-know, open it.” Louis says looking disinterested in something impersonal looking. 

Harry opens it. Inside are printed sheets indicating Jay’s ownership of Premium Bonds. Harry counts up the amount. 

He looks at Louis who appears absorbed in memories as he’s sorting photos. “Louis, these are bonds. Jay had investment bonds in her name, securities that she never shared with Hathaway. This means these are yours. The dates suggests she purcheds these while single starting when she was probably pregnant with you. It continues for three years. She put away money for you Louis. Single mum or not, she saved for you. This is amazing, I’m not saying it’s a fortune but it’s considerable. This must be the reason for the safety deposit box to start with. This is the sort of investment Hathaway would never know about.” 

Louis looks a bit dazed. Harry knows by the way Louis stares at a certain picture it’s not what he’s just heard Harry say, it’s something in a certain picture. The picture is mother and son. Jay has Louis in her lap. Her smile is warm, contented, a young woman at peace. Louis, in a green jumper, is about 8 months of age. His eyes are big and their is blue set off by the green cardigan. His hair is more blond then than it is now, it still has the tinge of chestnut of today. Something about this photo captivates Louis. Maybe it’s that Jay seems so very young. 

Harry doesn’t want to leave Louis. He wants to take Louis to bed and make love all day. 

Louis doesn’t look at Harry as he determinedly pushes Harry like he can read Harry’s unspoken thoughts. 

“It’s okay Harry. You should go. Go be with your sister. I’m okay. Promise. I’ve got something of me mum back.”

*** 

*** 

Gemma is set to go over to spend a few days with Patti to redecorate one of the brother’s former rooms while Harry takes Louis on a little romantic holiday. Grayson seems to be very, very attentive to her, more and more so each day ever since the normally flippant Visser son spent most of Christmas day working along side of Harry’s sister. Harry tells himself this, this unspoken thing about how Gemma is impacting Grayson, one would have to be blind not to notice. So as he and Louis are off to Paris he’s sure giving it a break from seeing her each day is fine. Grayson will look after her. Besides, it’s clear not that Louis needs Harry in an entirely different way. Going through letters from Jay, even a limited number of them takes an emotional toll on Louis. 

Balancing the bittersweet of reading through letters from Jay has been a process. While at times Louis uplifted by the outpouring of love mother had for her son, her confidence in he son, the strength of character she demonstrates between the lines doesn’t hide that its inevitable; she will die soon, the chronology is slowly taking Louis to her last letter, her last hours of life. No matter how wonderful it is to have these notes from Jay in the end it is hard each time Louis finishes another letter. Fate is upon her soon and with her fate so goes Louis’. Just the night before they are to leave for Paris Louis read the last letter that was written in Jay’s own hand. Harry had just gotten home from seeing Gemma. He found Louis was staring out a window in their flat, watching an uneventful scene outside as a cold rain had descended. Hearing Harry he said something like “It won’t be long now.” 

Harry mistakenly thought Louis meant it’s only hours until they go on their two day trip. Harry started to reply “yes”. To state how he was excited for morning to come so they could get away, when Harry realized the tone in Louis voice. Harry stops before he makes an unintentionally stupid remark. Louis was just continuing to stare out the window at the falling rain. Beside him was a letter from Jay. Louis had laid the letter aside like he was letting the misery of the contents of the letter be echoed by the visual of the miserably cold rain. 

But when this morning came, the rain continuing, Louis was quiet, quieter than normal, but he says nothing of letters from Jay. Harry’s relieved Louis doesn’t appear to plan on taking them. He closes up his small pack of clothes, doesn’t say a word. Doesn’t look at the small pile of letters yet to be read. He just takes Harry’s lead and they start on their journey. 

Louis and Harry get to Paris where the weather is a beautiful, fantasy-like, lightly falling snow. Each mile of their journey, as the letters were literally far from sight, further out of mind, Louis became lighter, happier, more his normal self. He tended to hold on to Harry’s hand when he could. He sat chose to sit close, body in contact with Harry’s whenever they sat. When they got to Paris and Louis saw the weather he flipped from quiet and reserved to loud and hyper-energetic. 

“What is the name of the hotel? The Park Hyatt Vendôme?” Louis asks Harry as they are getting a cab. 

Harry is handing their small collection of luggage to the cab driver as he’s just learned another new thing about his would be fiancé. When they hailed this car over to the curb, Louis immediately spoke to the man in French. Harry is astonished he has never learned this until now. 

“Yes, maybe we should ask to have a more scenic route taken? What do you think? Or do you want to get to the hotel immediately?” Harry adds the latter because it’s been days since they’ve been intimate, uncharacteristically long for them to obstain from each other. 

“Scenic,” Louis says to Harry before he switches to what sounds like not only French, but very fluent French, as he addresses the driver. 

Several minutes later Louis is sitting nearly in Harry’s lap as the they are being driven. The driver speaks to Louis in French first then he repeats what he’s just said to Louis in English for Harry, his English perfect. As he gives them a picturesque look at the city for lovers Harry fingers the ring he has in his pocket. Should he propose now? Wait until they are at their New Years Eve dinner he’s arranged at the finest restaurant in Paris? Wait until after with fireworks lighting the sky? 

Harry is about to pull the ring out when Louis freaks out excitedly shouting. “Wait stop!” He catches that in his excitement he switched to English so he repeats though it’s unnecessary, “Attendez, arrêtez.” 

Finding a safe pull off the cab halts where there is a view of some large, frozen over ice encircled by a stone pathway, park benches and a ring of trees sparking with tiny white lights. On the ice are many people, all are dressed in seasonal clothing, enjoying the snow as they play on the ice. 

Louis asks if this ic close to the hotel, upon hearing that it is, he clamors onto Harry, excitedly. “Harry, Harry, isn’t this spectacular? I’ve always want to do something like this, skate in freah falling snow! Would you? I mean do you skate? Could we go check in and come back? I so want to do this, I’ve dreamed of doing it!” 

Harry is sure that Aiden, naturally, would have been a talented skater. Seeing the gear he had in his SUV, it’s obvious. He probably was a hockey player, naturally, being the manly-man he was. 

Louis has such happiness on his face as he anxiously awaits Harry’s reply. Even though Harry doesn’t skate, afterall Harry is all legs, a virtual Bambi on ice, how can he refuse? He pushes the ring into his pocket to the deepest recess for safe keeping. Maybe a proposal in Paris, under the falling snow, in a romantic park setting on ice is just the perfect approach. 

“Of course we can babe, whatever you want.”


	60. Chapter 60

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> What should be a romantic holiday to Paris becomes something else.

Harry and Louis enter their expansive suite at the Park Hyatt Vendôme where they are met with a number of flower bouquets and a lovely bottle of champagne on ice. This is the honeymoon suite, booked for two nights including New Years Eve, and at a nightly rate more than most pay for an entire month of rent. Harry begins to open the champagne while Louis immediately runs around the spacious suite excitedly checking out its enmities. Maybe Harry can channel some of that energy into a badly needed, completely different, kind of physical release, or so he hopes.

“Champagne?”

Louis sprints back into the front room where Harry stands, with bottle in hand, preparing to release the cork into a hand towel.

“It’s kinda early isn’t it?” Louis questions.

“Oh, when on holiday, Louis, it’s never too early for champagne.” Harry pours a glass for them both, offering Louis one, making sure to keep his fingers in contact with Louis’ as Louis accepts the glass such that Harry can lead Louis to come in closer to him.

The two take a sip in unison with their eyes locked on each other. Setting his glass down Harry slips an arm around Louis to pull him in tighter with what becomes a gentle but firm, explorative kiss. The once frenetic Louis accepts Harry’s restraint, melting into Harry’s kiss, his body. Harry makes a move to take Louis glass, setting it beside his own so he can begin walking Louis backward toward a reclining chair that is wide and plush. Harry thinks it represents a perfect place to fuck Louis in their palace as he’s sure there are many other items of luxury to use as well for what he intends to be a solid 48 hours of making love.

Louis pushes back as just as Harry gets them within a step of his objective.

“Harry, skate first, before the snow stops or turns to rain.”

Harry has no desire to skate. He is horrid on ice. And it’s been days without getting to feel Louis’ body responding to what he does to it. However with Louis determined to have a romantic adventure or sorts what can Harry do?

“Wanna change first?” Harry asks as he very reluctantly resigns himself. Taking their bags, which were set in their suite while they checked in, to the distant suite bedroom he makes this slow. Hopefully Louis will warm up to indoor sports. 

“I’ll be fine in these jeans, thank you. If that’s a ploy to get me undressed, too bad.” Louis’ tone in the retort is sharp but teasingly so. Harry opens his bag and is sorting for what to wear to have movement on ice when Louis comes form behind, snatches a garment from Harry. The stolen jumper is a favorite of Harry’s and way too big for Louis.

“Wait! That’s mine. You get your own clothes, besides that’s way too big on you.”

Louis pulls a funny face. “Okay you didn’t say that the last time I wore it.” 

The way Louis is smiling with a tiny smirk makes Harry yearn all the more to have a good go int their expensive, palatial room with Louis. 

“Ah, you are right. The last time, I recall, was when you wore o n l y this jumper. The fit on you was like some kind of mini dress. The neck kept slipping down on one side so it was off one shoulder. That’s why I had to leave it on you as, as I seem to recall, as I bent you over, fucked you with the jumper remaining on the entire time. So is that the time you’re referring to?”

Louis giggles. He steps into Harry to give Harry a very quick almost platonic kind of kiss before pulling away to search through his own clothes that he dumps into a heap on the bed with total disregard for any type of order or neatness. 

“Yes. That’s the time. Be territorial about your stuff. I want a tighter fit for wearing skating anyway.”

Tossing clothes around more, Louis makes more a mess complains he can’t find the beanie he wants. Harry steadily makes a moderate clothing change as he neatly sets his clothes he’s not needing into distinct piles. Once Harry has comfy layers that allow plenty of movement he pulls Louis’ beanie from a pocket on his weekender bag where both their beanies, gloves, scarves are stowed. 

It was just nice to make Louis sweat over his disorder as a ploy to get Louis to accept a other drink. 

A few minutes later the two are finishing a second glass of champagne before they leave their suite at Louis’ constant persistence. 

Once outside Louis takes Harry’s hand; he’s shining with a giddy exuberance about the prospect of skating as he drags Harry.

Harry should admit to Louos that when they get to the ice after a short walk that he’s really nervous about falling, braking an arm, but he can’t seem to get a word in edgewise. Louis gives him brief picture of the experience he has in skating, “...me mum had me in skating when I was very little. Then ‘he’ made me go into hockey because it’s, what he called, a proper form of skating for lads. I had good puck handling skills, agility, but my size was a problem. Me mum pulled me out when all the other lads were getting so big and I was still so small.”

This story gives Harry a picture of the tiny Louis skating like a demon on ice, much like how he is at football, as he turns the bigger players into clumsy oafs. 

At a small skate rental station beside the ice they pay for skates. Louis is saying everything to the attendant in French. Harry immediately looks for his size skates in figure skating style. Louis goes for the hockey skates. 

With Louis being quick to change footwear, Harry makes an excuse about his lagging as being need for micro adjustments of his socks, suggesting Louis go ahead to the ice; he’ll be along soon. Maybe, just maybe Harry hopes, some distraction can save him from going all the way. He sees how as soon as Louis touches the ice that Louis is very much at ease. Louis makes several rapid laps avoiding others with ease like skating is what he does everyday. He stops by the place where Harry sits. Harry acts like he’s still fiddling with tightening laces on his first skate to deliberately delay. 

Harry’s attempt to play oblivious is ineffective because Louis tells a man standing there behind the rail just off the ice to get Harry’s attention for him. The man, tall, seriously attractive, dressed in a sophisticated style walks over to Harry. 

“Excuse me.” He says in a French accent while speaking in perfect English. “Someone is looking for you.”

Harry notes the man is taking in Harry’s appearance. Harry’s experienced this thousands of times, the way men do The Stare at his mouth, unknowingly revealing their thoughts, desires for the feel of it, told by the way the lick their lips as they stare. Becoming aware of his unguarded display of interest in Harry the man blushes, averts his stare, puts his eyes on Harry’s shoes. 

Going a different way to hide his interest, the man comments on Harry’s shoes, “Gucci, very nice, very nice.”

With that the man’s steps back to the rail where he resumes what appears to be watching skaters. 

Still waiting, Louis shouts at Harry.

“Oi, oi, oi! Curly, gonna sit there all day or come skate with me? Come on hurry! It’s gorgeous ice, perfect, not scatched up or anything.”

Once Louis finishes chiding Harry he the attractive man start a conversation. It’s all in French. Immediately Louis has the man laughing. His comments also have the handsome man looking back at Harry off and on. The easy friendship that seems to have started between them chills when another man, younger, pretty, a very effeminate looking figure skater stops by where Louis and Handsome Man are chatting like old friends. 

The skater appears to be a very serious devotee of figure skating. He’s dressed for it, even looks like he’s the type to be in skating aa an Olympic level contender. Harry reads the body language as Louis talks with the two French. Handsome tall man is laughing at everything Louis says, looking back over his shoulder at Harry occasionally suggesting the talk is about Harry. The younger, effeminate skater does not appear too pleased. He must be a friend of the tall man. He also doesn’t seem to like how Louis has his slightly older gentleman companion laughing. At one point Effeminate Skater actually does a visible huff, his metaphorical tails feathers ruffled by something Louis said, and he skates off. 

This appears to make Louis give up the conversation with new acquaintances. He again prods Harry with a hand wave to hurry, come. 

Harry stands in his skate-clad feet reluctantly. Is he really going to do this? 

As Harry walks past Handsome Man to take the ice he realizes that even wearing skates he’s not as tall as the handsome man standing watching skaters on the rail at the outskirt of the ice. 

Once he’s on the ice Harry leaves one hand on the rail for fear of falling. Louis has to skate backwards to let Harry follow him in the direction of the flow of skaters which takes them right along the rail in the direction where they pass right in front of Handsome Man. As they slowly past him Louis makes a quick introduction, “Claude, this is Harry, although you’re not the only one to give him the nickname name of ‘Dimples’. Harry this is Claude. The angry skater boi is Martine.” Harry stops. Enjoys relying on the rail. “Martine? Don’t you mean Martin?”

Louis giggles pulls one of Harry’s hands, “Non. Not Martin, M a r t i n e.” 

Slowness of Harry’s pace has them barely past the place where Claude is standing. Harry can hear how Claude laughs at the way Louis emphasizes the name M a r t i n e. Harry gets the distinct feeling that in the short time that Louis, Claude and Martine were talking that Louis made an impression on them; he amused Claude, got under Martine’s skin. 

A few strides further along and Harry says, “Are you going to hold my hand the entire time?” 

Louis keeps consistently slowly skating backwards. “Yes, yes Harry I am. I don’t ever want to let go of you. You wanna let go of that rail?” 

Harry does let go. Louis immediately takes Harry’s other hand so he has both hands as he continues to skate slowly backwards. 

After a complete lap around the ring of ice Harry realizes that they are going slightly faster, Louis being the locomotion and Harry being a mere follower. Harry comes to love this. He realizes he feels completely free. The faster Louis goes the more Harry’s heart races, the more elation he feels. Freedom. Guided by Louis who is taking them in a series of continuously swooping path the entire circumference of the ice, they pass Claude again several time having made another full circle without Harry realizing how many times they’ve lapped the circle. 

Surprisingly Louis stops being Harry’s momentum. Plants a hockey stop such that Harry can’t help but to plow right into Louis. Louis doesn’t get knocked down or moved much if any by Harry coming into him, rather Louis makes it very clear that his intent was to capture Harry. Stopped near the center of the ice, out of most traffic, Louis threads his arms around Harry and they kiss. 

There can’t be any question Louis’ kiss is deeply intentional to convey his love. It’s still snowing lightly. Harry opens his eyes to peak at Louis whose lush, thick lashes have a sprinkling of snowflakes. The skin under them is likely too warm for fallen flakes to stay formed, melted they give his skin a slight shimmer sort of making him etherial-looking under the lights that have come on as the snowy day has yielded to a snowy night. 

Harry wonders if he can get his hand into his pocket while wearing the soft, thin leather gloves he has on. Could he manage this and not fall down? He’d feel like an idiot falling on the ice in an attempt to be suave and debonair to take a knee and propose. Feeling like they are being watched he pulls back slightly. 

Snap. This immediately puts Harry off balance. As he feared he falls down. This has Louis bent over in laughter. Harry can’t help but laugh at himself too. Harry lays back on the ice enjoying looking up into the dark seeing the fuzzy transition zone where the snow goes from looking like a layer of mist until the flakes get closer and become individuals. Louis comes into view looking down from standing over Harry. 

“Wanna hand up?” 

Once Louis offers a hand Harry gives it a deliberative tug. Down comes Louis onto Harry. This leads more kissing while laying on the ice as the snow falls, skaters circling them. 

Laying on the ice should feel cold, the sensation of Louis on him, laughing through their kiss makes Harry want to try again to pull out that ring. He’s trying to this with the added constraint of Louis half-laying on him when the sound of someone skating too close by in passing by them, the skate blades make a sound of etching into the ice, as if to make it obvious followed by an unnecessarily terse chiding. 

“I think Pretty-Boy-Dimples should keep his clumsy arse off the ice. Laying on it is a both a distraction and a hazard.” 

The way the word “hazard” was particularly drawn out with the French accent layering distain heavily has Louis jumping up to his feet. He gives it back. “Oh looks it’s M a r t i n e, with his snow-smeared blush and mascara, who is such a distraction, it’s practically a hazard to look at you, give zero fucks what distracts you, M a r t i n e.” 

Martine wipes his face underneath an eye which must get a black smudge on his white, sparkle-embellished glove. He looks at the smudge, gives another huff before he goes skating off briskly making it a point to power into some sort of double jump the name of which Harry couldn’t name because he’s never been a face of figure skating. It’s clear that Martine wanted this to be seen as some sort of snotty suggestion of his greatness to counter Louis’ take- no-prisoners comeback. 

“Come on Harry,” Louis says guiding Harry to stand by first helping Harry in getting to his knees, then one foot blade down so Harry can straighten up over that leg and come to two feet, “let me help you. He’s just jealous because he got wind of a crush on you when Claude was asking me about you, Dimples.” 

Louis gets them moving again, Louis skating backwards, giving Harry stability with his two hands taking Harry in lead. Harry thinks he is getting the hang of this. Begins to think he might want Louis to let go of him. Around them so many other skaters were of so many levels Harry this gives Harry confidence despite the fact that Martine seems to be purposefully skating very close to them, constantly throwing off some spectacularly athletic move, mostly jumps as he passes nearby. 

It’s doesn't seem to distract Louis from Harry at all. Louis keeps smiling at Harry, begins singing along with the upbeat music playing over some rink side speakers. Playfully Louis is mixing up all the words, encouraging Harry to join him. “Go on Harry, give it a try singing while you skate, think it will make you stop being as tense because you’ll have to think about what your mouth is doing and not worry about your feet.” 

Harry is about to say that he knows what he wants his mouth to be doing, an image of eating Louis out entering his mind, when Louis gets this sudden look of shocked fright, says “Harry!”

***

At a hospital in Paris some young man visiting from London arrives by ambulance following some accident on an open air ice ring where witnesses reported to the EMTs that some skater who was showing off doing Olympic style jumps collided with him. He is suffering with a head injury and a nasty slash from the blade of the offender’s skate.

Minutes later his companion, also from London, arrives. Escorted in by some native Parisian who just met the pair, was at the ice rink watching skaters, witnessed the entire thing.

When a nurse brings the londoner’s companion the patient’s valuables she explains he’s unconscious, his condition overall good, but for the night they want to keep him just to be safe. She’ll return when she can bring the companion to see him but he’ll be sleeping, medically induced, for the night.

Later the same nurse goes to take the patient’s companion from waiting room to her patient, Harry. Once in Harry’s room companion, Louis, pleads to be able to stay for the night. She allows it. Later when she checks on Harry she isn’t sure how this Louis has squeezed himself onto the small hospital bed with him, but he has. She doesn’t have the heart to tell him that’s not appropriate. Besides, the two beautiful boys look like a pair of kittens balled up together. She lets them be.

Three times during the night the nurse wakes Louis because a supervisor is roaming the wing of the hospital and any guests will be thrown out. Once the supervisor leaves the ward the nurse allows Louis to stay on, she even gives him an extra blanket. The nurse fears that the companion, Louis, has some sort of trauma because of the accident that befell his friend; the Paris gentleman that escorted him into the hospital earlier claimed the companion of her patient Harry is fluent in French, however... 

However, evrytime the nurse encounters this companion Louis he jumps erratically between English and French making little sense in either language. Each time she wakes him he does the same and makes concerning statements. He rattles on about losing someone, named Aiden, fearing Harry is going to die too, says something that makes no sense like how his love curses those who he chooses, he IS, afterall maybe the spawn of the devil, The Monster is right. These ramblings make no sense to this nurse. She can only assume that this young man has had some major life traumas so the nurse breaks protocol for sake of his well-being; she allows him to stay. She even goes so far as to hide his over-stay from her supervisor, keeps the stowaway as comfortable for th night, along with her patient, as she can.

***

Morning is weirdly unnatural when flickering of waking prods at Harry’s conscious. He’s feeling pain, massive pain in his head, neck and back. On top of him, more or less, he knows is a familiar feeling of a sleeping Louis. So many days waking with them in a clump of limbs, his body has learned to find an odd synchronicity with Louis’, so this union is one comfort despite how Louis’ body presses down on his pained one might make the unexpected pain he’s waking to worse.

The questions are, why does he hurt? Where the hell are they? This can’t be the Vendôme, can it? No. The bed is crap. It’s small. The slightest shift and he’s aware the bed ends to his left or right side like it is very small. Surely this is why Louis is quite literally sleeping right on top of him.

Harry also feels like he is somewhat naked. Or at least oddly clothed. At the very least what he has on is not anything like he owns. Meanwhile he can feel Louis’ is wearing jeans because where Harry’s gown length clothing-thing ends there is sensation on his legs that suggest Louis has clothes on. Sliding an arm up from where it was at his side Harry’s hand takes stock. Louis is in a shirt, his knit jumper. Sliding his hand farther to gently wake Louis who might explain this situation Harry’s hand runs over a bent elbow, following Louis’ forearm to his wrist then taking Louis’ hand intending a gentle waking.

Harrys hand over Louis’ hand Harry makes an odd discovery.

Louis is wearing a ring. Louis, unlike Harry, never wears rings. To Harry’s knowledge the one he has intended to give Louis will be Louis’ first. 

Wait? What? Where am I? What happened? Why is Louis and me in some tiny bed, aren’t we in....um, Paris? Wait? Why is there now a ring on what is, traditionally, Louis’ unadorned hand?

When Harry tries to lift the hand to see it, an effort small but one resulting in more stabbing pain dispute its tiniest of gestures, Louis suddenly startles like he’s hit by electric shock. This causes Louis to quite literally fall off Harry and subsequently off of the bed.

Louis no sooner hits the floor than he’s jumping up. Standing. Looking a funny mix of confused and very sleepy. 

“Harry! Harry you’re alive!” Louis tired voice squeaks, hands going to Harry’s face, lips to Harry’s kissing him with tears from his closed eyes hitting Harry’s cheeks as he does so.

Harry let’s the kiss unfold. With Louis hands still on his face he can feel them shaking. The kiss lightens such that Harry takes Louis’ hand that on the right side of his face, Louis’ left hand, let’s Louis pull away before he says while looking at the ring on Louis’ finger, the ring Harrys has been carrying, burning with desire to place precisely there. 

“What on earth happened? Where am I? How did you get this? Did I...” Harry asks confused. 

“M’so glad you’re alive. I thought I’d lost you. All my fault, again, because I made you go skating, I set off that bitch Martine, my fault we were there, and this happened to you. Your in a Paris hospital. This ring I found after they gave me your valuables,” Louis says holding out his hand, looking at it like it’s miraculous, tears still welling in his eyes, “ I didn’t recongnize it so I tried it on. Seems it’s perfect. Like you. Don’t know how it fits your fingers though.”

Louis throws himself over Harry’s chest crying openly. “Do you know I couldn’t take it if you too were gone forever? My fault again? There was so much blood on the ice, the gash so bad, I was sure you would die of blood loss before the ambulance got to you. All I could see was you bleeding, to death, probably exactly like Aiden did, I, I...”

Two nurses come in to check on Harry maybe because of a sobbing Louis almost laying over Harry was heard from outside the hospital room. Thankfully the monitors foretold them nothing horrifying had occurred to their patient. It turns out this was a routine scheduled nursing staff shift change. Harry wathces as a nurse, a night shift nurse, softly pries Louis off, giving his name to the other nurse, then telling Louis this is, the nurse who will be taking over working with the doctors tending to Harry. The doctors will be making rounds soon, likely to decide about releasing Harry. The night nurse gently takes Louis to a chair in the corner of the room telling him to sit and dry his tears. She assures him Harry should be fine. At least it seems to Harry that was what she said but it was in French. Next she turns to Harry speaking English to him.

“Nurse Pérone is taking over. She will be with the doctor when he comes in this morning. Just wanted to see you before I end my shift.” 

The kind night shift nurse leaves as Nurse Pérone begins to check Harry’s status, sees to him swallowing some Tylenol, assures Louis with everything she evaluates about Harry. She leaves them saying only she’d back soon when the doctor comes; he should be releasing Harry the nurse presumes based on his status.

No sooner has the nurse left than a knock at the open door announces someone, as in Claude from the ice rink, enters. A large, eleaborate flower bouquet in hand he says to Harry in perfect English, “Good morning. How is Mr Styles today?”

“Why, why are you here?” Harry says not sure he wants to see anyone in the world right now other than Louis particularly since the Tylenol hasn’t set in yet.

Claude strides more fully into the room with an air of confidence. He’s dressed in fine men’s apparel including a long wool coat, silk scarf, appears to have a suit on under the outerwear. Setting the bouquet down he replies running over Louis’ explanation to Harry with his own answer dominating. 

”Wouldn’t expect your disposition this morning to be any different than it appears, understandably, but my reason for coming is to make sure a formal apology is made. Besides, I was the one who assisted by bringing Louis to the hospital after you left in the ambulance.” 

Louis comes to Harry’s side, slips a hand under some of the blanket covering Harry, strokes Harry’s chest on skin over where his heart would be while confirming Claude’s statement, “It true Harry. Thankfully Claude brought me here after the accident. I haven’t a clue what I would have done without him. I was paralyzed with fear for you. Claude even helped my get my shakes off, with me wearing no shoes, he carried me to his car, for me to get here fast, really fast in fact.” 

“Carried you? Aren’t those your shoes over there?” Harry says spotting Louis’ shoes on the floor in the corner. 

“Yes, yes, carried your Louis, on my back, with his shoes in hand to get here vité, vité. He only just slipped on his shoes as I drove him but it was very frightening for him seeing you like that. He kept saying, so much blood everywhere, like he was shocked from your condition.” Claude explains. 

Harry is realizing how Claude is calmly assessing Harry who is deliberately giving Claude no latitude. Harry’s got an image of Louis riding on someone’s back and while if it were one of their friends, Liam, Zayn, Niall, he’d think nothing of it, but this man has got too much posh, confidence, and much too alpha male for Harry’s liking. This train of thought is interrupted when Claude continues. “Besides, I was responsible to do what I could because of my part in the tantrum, Martine, you see, Martine...he is so jealous, always, très emotional. It’s what keeps him from being a top skater how he is so difficult sometimes. This is the worse he has ever behaved.” 

Now it’s Claude who stops talking to think. He realizes he needs to measure Harry’s disposition for peaceable settlement. “I am here to do whatever I can do to see to it that this unpleasant incidence stays between us,” Claude adds after pause, “a m o n g friends.” 

Louis snaps around to look with astonshment at Claude. Harry pipes up offended by the overconfidence. “F r i e n d s? Friends? We aren’t friends, Claude. Nothing of the sort.” 

Claude moves from where he was standing. He comes closer to the bed looking at the open door like he might not want this conversation overheard. “I think we can become friends so that you can have a proper apology, perhaps find forgiveness. This incident doesn’t need to involve others.” 

Harry realizes that this is Claude’s way of saying don’t speak with the police. Don’t do anything that could lead to formal charges. The early arrival to Harry’s hospital room has a more pressing motive beyond apology and flowers. 

Louis goes white. Harry is distracted from Claude because he feels something in the way Louis’ hand under the cover twitches almost imperceivably slight. 

“Harry, don’t bother with this. Like he says, we don’t say anything to the police. Please. I want this behind us. Like Claude says. Please. No need to file charges, no police.” 

Claude steps in closer still to where Louis is beside Harry’s bed. He puts a hand on Louis’ shoulder. Given how tall he is, his hand large it’s easy for his fingers to stroke the side of Louis’ neck running to underside of chin while his hand sits there. It’s a sure sign of appreciation of Louis as a thing, a sort of precious token. “He’s both pretty and smart this one,” Claude says of Louis as if Louis is akin to a slave or property of Harry’s for the to be speaking of while neglecting that Louis has his own feelings, “I’d keep him happy if this were mine.” 

Breaking the tension is the sound of three voices announce, incoming medical personnel. One is the nurse, the other two are doctors, one being a young female resident, the other a man in his mid fifties, the senior physician on duty. The room is overwhelmed by the additional people, but the doctors seem to mind very little that two guests of their patient remain in the room. 

Harry makes sense of the things they say in French only because Louis translates for him as they are speaking. Louis trauma over Harry’s condition lessened so his brain seems focused. He’s reassuring to Harry which is comforting beyond measure even though after their exam is complete the older doctor switches to English to address Harry. 

“Young man you are very lucky. A few centimeters closer to the side of the neck and the blade of that skate would have slashed your jugular. The knock on your head hitting ice, unpleasant, I’m sure you’ll have headaches for a few days but must be fate was looking after you. The scan from when you came in showed no brain injury, your being here last night a precaution. I’ll say in a few hours you should be out of here, though I fear champagne for New Years is not in your best interest.” 

The doctor gives the clipboard he’s written remarks on, signed to the nurse, says more, “I’m sorry it takes so long to process, holidays are always slow on the record end of things.” 

The doctor and intern leave the room, nurse Pèrone clues them in in what next. Harry’s clothes were saturated in blood and had to be cut off upon arrival. She suggests Louis should get him some fresh ones assuring Louis that it will take a couple hours before he will be discharged. Claude jumps in. 

“Louis I will take you where you need to go, bring you back, touté suite.” 

Claude’s hand is again on Louis. This time it’s gripping on bicep, again contrasting the size of Frenchman to Louis making Harry’s blood pressure rise as he’s not sure he likes the sound of this arrangement. Louis however seems anxious just to get Harry clothes so he can leave once released. 

“I can get to the hotel, just fine Claude.” Louis says dismissing Claud’s offer. “Harry, I’ll be back soon.” 

*** 

It’s a full two hours later before Louis comes back. He comes into the room with some clothing looking distraught. Breathless. He takes his time helping Harry get dressed and doesn’t directly answer what took so long. When Harry is guided by an orderly to sit in a wheelchair to be escorted through the hospital finally discharged Harry gets a flush of anger as somewhere along the way, at some point Harry doesn’t immediately notice, Claude comes along side them. 

Why is he here again? Harry is about to ask when Claude gives some indication of his purpose. “I made sure Louis was safely to the hotel. The Vendôme, the honeymoon suite? Very nice, very nice indeed. While Louis was getting freshended up and gathering your clothes I made arrangements with the hotel. Your accommodation has been extended another night. At no expense to you, of course. I just want to be certain you are feeling much better so you don’t travel on a day sure to be the worse for you, discomfort considered.” 

Harry doesn’t want to think about this interloper being in his sort of fiancé’s company, especially in their room, alone together. Two hours? Even with essential transit time a lot can happen in two hours. 

And Louis. 

He’s distraught. His behavior is off. He’s playing with the ring he’s wearing that wasn’t given to him in the manner it should be but at this moment, preparing to leave the hospital, the ring has all of Louis’ attention as he spins it on his finger. Once they are outside th hospital, met by Claude’s very spacious auto, a BMW suv, Harry stands, feeling the discomfort of waning pain med and some significant lightheadedness. 

He leans heavily on Louis. Let’s Claude only give him assist to step up, and slide into the back seat of the BMW with Louis slipping into the vehicle ahead of him. 

On the drive to the Vendôme Louis says nothing. Claude points out a few things like they are his visiting friends and he is their host, tour guide. It’s annoying to Harry so he mostly grunts a humf-like sound as if to say “oh that’s interesting” until the way Louis is so quiet and lost in his activity of spinning the ring gets to Harry. 

The next thing Claude says about another thing of something of interest has Harry snapping. Maybe it’s because sitting up his headache is worsening. Maybe it’s that Harry is sure that something is wrong with Louis. 

“So you know Claude. I’ve been to Paris several times on business. In fact to France many times, maybe on average 5-6 times a year going back about eight years. I don’t need a fucking tour guide, my friend.” 

The way Harry emphasizes “my friend” has that sort of suggestion to the contrary. Claude is quiet after the outburst. Quiet but he smiles. He smiles to himself and he looks to Louis through the rear view mirror. Louis glances once quickly then looks down. Something is not right. 

They’ve arrived at the Vendôme. Several traditionally dressed doormen open three doors in flawless, simultaneous coordination. Claude steps out telling the doormen he’s just dropping off guests. Before he speaks again Harry shuts all this down with an overtly suggestive tone of dismay as he addresses Claude. 

“In my business, I know how, and when to use my mouth. I’d suggest you learn to do the same.” 

Harry would like to say more but Louis threads an arm around Harry pulling Harry along, saying nothing to Claude other than “merci”. 

Harry can’t be certain but he thinks he hears Claude say, “D’acorde, cètte est true.” 

*** 

Their room has many more flowers in it than the ample arrangements the suite had when they first arrived. These are not part of the honeymoon suite fanfair. They are from elsewhere. Harry’s sees one bouquets has a note, sure, it’s from Claude and Martine, Harry grabs the bouquet from the vase, despite great pain and instability to himself for the effort. He goes to their door, opens it, tosses the beautiful, expensive flowers out, onto the floor outside of their suite. 

Turning around he can see the look on Louis’ face is shock. Shock and something else. Maybe fear. 

“Was he in here?” Harry snaps, his back hurts now too adding to his painful neck and headache so he is sure his tone says “ I’m angry”. 

“Yes.” 

There’s a stabbing pain. Is it his injuries or his heart? 

“Did he touch you?” 

“No.” 

Louis says “no” but his yes are down. He’s pulling the sleeves of his shirt down so both hands are hidden. Louis’ voice sounds unconvincingly sad for a straight up, honest denial. 

Harry strides to Louis with the most composed movement he can muster. It causes considerable pain. 

“Did he touch you, I asked? Don’t lie to me!” 

Louis’ snaps back his downcast stare remains to suggest his vulnerability. “I said no. Don’t you believe me? I said no.” 

Then he looks up. Tears in Louis’ eyes, they are a pale blue sapphire color. Harry’s sure he’s making Louis defend something because something is not right with them and it’s never been like this between them before. 

A little voice in the back of Harry’s head speaks the obvious; Hathaway always believed Louis became a siren to any man who was alone with him. He always accused Louis. Don’t do this. This is ripping open a wound that can’t be healed. 

Harry steps back. His head pounds. 

Louis looks back down. “I wanna go home, to London. Now. Can we just go home. Please.” 

It’s the way Louis says “please”. Some sniffles the only indication he’s working to suppress tears. 

Harry softens. He goes to Louis slipping his arms around Louis while actually hoping that Louis doesn’t return the hug because Harry is sure to crumble under the pain of the slightest touch. 

“We can’t babe. I’m sorry. I’m so, so tired, in incredible pain. I think that is why I’m being such a wanker. I should know better than to suggest anything. But I think what I need right now is to sleep. I’m sure your tired too, you couldn’t have slept well crammed onto the tiny bed with me. You must be hungry too. We have dinner reservations for later but I don’t see us spending a romantic New Years Eve out like I planned. Maybe you can order yourself some roomservice, then come join me for a long nap toghether. I even can’t bear to stand any longer, much less travel. Or to fight. I need to lie down. I’m being a fool.” 

Louis’ body softens. Where Harry could feel Louis relax he releases. Louis slips a hand to Harry’s hip bring Harry along as he takes them to the massive bed in the suite’s private chamber. Helping Harry sit cautiously, Louis slips off all of Harry’s clothes gingerl, pulls back the blankets for Harry, makes sure Harry is tucked in. He then gets the bag of Harry’s jewelry, rings and necklaces, out of his coat pocket, sets them down on the bedside table. Harry being so accustomed to his rings he frequently wears them. 

“I’ll set a timer for when you should take your pills next. You sleep until then. Tthink I will eat something before I come join you. Want some water?” 

Having gotten into a comfortable bed, having some water that Louis brings, Harry is thinking to say “I love you.” 

... 

...Waking when the hour is late in the day, a decline in natural sunlight telling Harry this, it occurs there is a soft beeping noise that woke him. The bed beside him is warm as if Louis was on just sleeping there; he’s recently left Harry’s side. Harry reaches forwater and some pills the Louis set there before sleep took Harry. Sounds from the bathroom suggest Louis has gone to shower. 

Fuzzy with pain and sort of confused with sleeepiness Harry’s hand makes a clumsy grasp for meds. One pill scoots away from hm. As his fingers stumble on the bedside table for the wayward pill Harry makes a discovery. 

Along with his two necklaces, six assorted rings is a seventh, not his own but the ring which has been burning in his pockets for days practically weeks, the one he intended for Louis, and that Louis was wearing earlier without Harry having his chance to propose. The ring now sits with Harry’s property. 

Seems that Louis wears it no more.


	61. Chapter 61

Harry lies back listening to the sound of the shower running hoping time enough let’s the pain meds take effect.

A comparatively weird question pops into Harry’s mind. He begins to wonder if some of his much coveted, long hair is shaved given where it feels like his cut is close to his hair line. Vanity has never been Harry’s thing. He’s attractive, stop traffic attractive, so why does a silly thing like a small shaving matter? 

The sound of running water stops.

Wanting Louis to wake him with the Lover’s Method that Harry is accustom to Harry pretends to be asleep. The sound of Louis soft footsteps makes Harry’s heart race because Louis comes to his side of bed. 

Unfortunately Louis sits. 

Harry was hoping Louis would climb over him. Wake Harry with his tradition; something that starts with nuzzling Harry, usually nuzzling over Harry’s pelvis, followed by kisses, licks and when in good fortune Louis with suck Harry’s dick sometimes finishing Harry with only his mouth and hands. On more leisurely days Louis typically likes to sit on the erection in Harry that he creates and finishes by riding Harry’s cock.

This time it’s neither. It sounds like Louis is checking the phone. This means he knows the alarm went off for Harry to take meds. Besides the pills that were there beside are gone.

“Harry?” Louis says in a whisper. “You awake?”

Harry opens his eyes. Louis is in simple sweat pants. His hair is slightly wet, toused, on shoulders hangs his towel. Louis smells like the Cèdre Orange scented soaps the Vêdome supplied. He looks refreshed. 

Questioning. 

Concerned. 

Harry hums an answer. He wishes for a kiss. 

Louis resists Harry’s kitten hum. He stays, sat where he is although his actions yields sensitivity to Harry’s plight. A hand slides over Harry’s skin, face first, chest, seeking everything and nothing. 

“See you took the pills Harry. Hungry? Or want to sleep more.” 

Then Louis stands like to leave and states a platonic sort of thing. “You should drink all that water, maintain hydration. I’ll bring you more.” 

He walks away drying his hair more as he goes. “So if you’re hungry, what would you like me to order?”

Harry makes the commitment to endure the pain it takes to roll to his side in order to get a glimpse of Louis as he walks away. It the way Louis’ sweat pants hang ever so slightly low. The sight of the exposed hips, top part of bum cheeks peeking. Always a fit of these garments on Louis is a trick. Louis waist is so small that it’s a full bum that always holds the sweats up because Louis refuses to accept wearing an extra small size.

“Order want you want.” Harry tells Louis. He glances at the ring laying with his collection of his own rings and necklaces. 

Louis disappears from sight into the bathroom. A few minutes later Louis returns. His hair is slightly combed, mostly dry, lying in a soft fringe. He is wearing a hoodie unzipped with no other shirt underneath so he looks perfect for ravishing Harry thinks if only his body could allow it. Reading the menu for hotel room service Louis makes a call saying it’s him, again, indicating he’s ordered once already since they got back to their suite, or so Harry thinks because it’s hard to follow; Louis is speaking French.

Almost finished with the order Louis adds one last thing, some champagne. 

After placing the order Louis comes back to Harry. Sitting again. Somewhat distant. “How can I help you? Feel like a bath? It says not to saturate the bandages for five days, so you’ll need my help. In the discharge instructions it also says to see your regular doctor in five days unless headaches get persistently worse, elevated wound site pain, or signs of infection. If your doctor at home approves your recovery progress you can resume normal bathing or showering.”

Louis flips through the sheets of instructions and precautions from the hospital like he is looking over the discharge information again for missed points. 

“Oh and it says the medications might cause side effects like personality changes making you a bloody wanker if not a complete, utter arse. So there you go.”

Harry is not sure if that is a a pass on his earlier poor judgement in comments about what Louis did in the two hours in question, however, innuendo made, Harry can only stare at Louis’ hand, the left hand, he wants to will Louis to choose to put the ring back on. 

“I might pass on anything involving moving. Moving to the bathroom might make me grumpy again. Might make me regret my actions, words, more than I already do. Please forgive me?”

Louis pulls a face. He makes a quick peck on Harry’s lips, kind of deliberately fleeting kiss, as his only contact with Harry. This sends a message the acceptance of the apology is a “maybe” but feelings are still hurt.

“Make me some tea?” Harry requests sweetly. This sends Louis immediately wandering from the bedroom to the front room. Louis is not making anything easy on Harry but at very least Harry has the comfort of getting to watch Louis’ arse again. 

***

Having some food in him makes Harry immediately sleepy. He is just starting to doze off, aware once Louis removed their dishes, when he gathers that Louis opts to sit on the lounge chair in the bedroom far way from Harry while sipping some champagne until, perhaps Louis thought, Harry had faded off. When Harry doesnt reply to Louis whispering his name Louis moves back to come to their bed. It’s makes Harry realized Louis was being a shit about lettting the error go. Now with Louis sitting on the other side of the bed he has chose to be closer to Harry while continues sipping champagne, reading something, staying still as to not disturb Harry who soon enough actually is taken by sleep comforted by Louis restored closeness. 

***

The strange popping sounds wake Harry. He shifts slowly in bed because everything hurts. He’s due for more meds soon but he doesn’t reach for them. Instead he lets his eyes adjust to the way the firework display outside for mice night New Years makes something like mood-ring changes in the light invading their suite from the windows. Certain colors predominate one second, others the next.

In this softly shifting light Harry can see the rings where they’ve sat. The ring intended for Louis is gone from the collection again. Slowly adjusting Harry finds he can see Louis is standing by a window. The floor to ceiling window has a sheer curtain that partly masks details of Louis’ form. Some of him is completely exposed. He must have been in bed before the fireworks began because he’s standing there totally naked. Something about the shifting shades of light, the half shielding of his form by a sheer curtain, combine to make everything about Louis surreal. Simply his shape, curves and angles, is stunning. How could Harry have been so carelessly say something so insensitive after all Louis has been through? 

Louis must hear the small shift Harry makes. 

“Harry, you wanna sees this? It’s beautiful. Come on, I’ll help you up.” 

Louis comes over to Harry electing to crawl over the bed. This gives Harry a glimpse confirming the ring is on Louis’ hand. Louis pulls back the covers some for Harry, helps position Harry legs and feet, then offering his hands. With assist, Harry stands which leads to an immediate crack of pain up and down his spin.

“Pills?”

Louis puts Harry’s arm over his shoulders so Harry can lean on them, “Okay babe. Fireworks first though, then pills after when you are back in bed. Come on, look at the fireworks before they end.”

Standing at the window Harry finds he likes leaning on Louis and has come to do it with Louis in front of him, Louis’ back to his front. Harry is nude like Louis too. Standing there, just skin to skin, despite the pain Harry’s body responds. His dick stiffens, as if by its own consciousness, it takes a place resting on center where each side of Louis’ bum gives it a cradle. 

Harry is sure that if his pain were not so great he’d make Louis bend over and dick him there in the ambiance of the softly psychedelic changes in light.

All too soon the fireworks cease. Louis sees Harry getting back to bed. Another dose of meds. Sleep.

***

Harry wakes The ring is back on the bedside table. Why? He thought during the fireworks, some quiet standing together soaking in the beauty, bodies pressed together, that there would be some lasting softening of the hurt and anger. Maybe not. 

But where is Louis now? It’s the first, a new year. They would be checking out today. This causes Harry to fuzzily come to recall that Claude said he’d extended their reservation, paying for it too. With the soreness at its worse yet the offer Harry resented seems wise to have decided to use. Harry checks the timer on his meds, he has under an hour left. Harry takes the meds anyway. He lies there wondering where Louis went. Wishes the ring was on the hand it’s intended for. 

Louis keys into their suite returning about when the alarm would have sounded for Harry’s pills.

He’s wearing joggers, a loose neck tee under a hoodie and a beanie that is keeping his hair off his face. He has on shoes but no socks. Wherever he went he probably wasn’t outside; it is entirely too cold outside for how Louis is dressed. From the bed Harry can see Paris is getting snow again. Snow on the first day of the new year to blanket everything in white. A symbolic fresh start.

Louis comes to Harry and slips over the bed to get close to Harry without disturbing Harry like he thinks Harry could be sleeping. His arms go carefully around Harry knowing where to avoid that might be tender.

“Awake already? See you’ve taken the pills? Much worse today?”

Harry enjoys that Louis is being a cuddly Louis. “Yes. Not wanting to move at all today.”

“Okay, well you remember we do have the room for another night.”

“I remember. Rather not mention Claude. Or Martine. Or give any of them another thought.”

“Same.” That’s all Louis says on the subject. Slipping away from Harry, off the bed he asks, “Hungry? Since the bill is his to pay now I’d rather like to order one of everything on the menu, you?”

“Oh sure. Make it two of everything.”

***

Tenuous.

It’s tenuous following their trip to Paris. Everything seems turning into something Harry can’t understand. Maybe it’s that when they got home to London, his pain still making him such an invalid that Louis was a mix of tender-caretaker but uncomfortably platonic. 

Although they lived together at the flat it seemed they each were spending almost more time with their respective families, Harry with Gemma, Louis with one of the Deakin girls, than with each other. 

The day after Harry had his first follow up appointment with his own doctor the ironic thing happened when he developed a fever. Louis was genuinely, deeply worried. It was the most emotion Harry had felt from Louis since their failed romantic Paris trip. That was the upside. 

The downside was that the diagnosis when they went back to the doctor was that Harry was only diagnosed as having the flu. 

After several days pass and Harry feels better, it’s Louis who gets the flu. Matter of coincidence or not it seems more and more like somehow he and Louis are becoming roommates, not lovers, or so Harry is explaining to Gemma one day when Harry took advantage of Louis being sick in bed to go see her. 

Gemma is settled in living at Patti and Troy’s home. Harry has discovered since the Paris trip that indeed there is some sort of spark between his sister and the second eldest Visser son. It’s rare since Paris that if Harry visits his sister they have time alone unless Harry comes buy specifically when Grayson is working his internship. On this day, Grayson at work, Harry is finally able to share privately with Gemma how, since the trip, the nature of his and Louis’ relationship has changed.

“What I don’t think I understand Harry is what you did that was so bad to make things different? Besides, Louis is so obviously in love with you. There would have to be a bad, really bad thing, for him to stop. You told me about the accident on the ice, the crazy skater, the skater’s friend, but there’s nothing in that which justifies a shift in Louis’ feelings for you.” Gemma says.

“Well I haven’t told you everything. I didn’t want to go into it when Grayson was around. It’s sort of embarrassing. You know how I said I don’t like that Claude was trying to be so helpful, what I didn’t say how Claude went out of his way being helpful when I was in the hospital. He escorted Louis to our hotel when I was there. What should have been fast trip to allow Louis to get me some fresh clothes took about two hours. When Louis came back he was acting strange. When I discovered after my release that this arse Claude was taking us to our hotel too it just felt way too artificially friendly. That’s when I might have implied the wrong thing.”

“The wrong thing. What does that mean?”

“Without question Gemma, this guy Claude was hovering. I know men. I know when they have interest. Fucks-sake, his own boyfriend had this psychotic jealousy thing. That doesn’t come without reason. So I asked Louis if they did anything, what took them so long.” Harry stating his explanation out loud has him feeling that it was really, really stupid. “It may have been the meds.” He adds in his defense as Gemma is trying to read between the lines of intent. 

Then she gets it.

“No you did not! Oh Harry! If I was Louis I wouldn’t take that well either.”

“Yep.”

“And he’s been distant since then.”

“Yep.”

Gemma tries to regroup seeing her brothers shame. “Have you been intimate at all since then?” Gemma asks with a blush like maybe she’s prying too much.

“Nope. Not that it’s not entirely understandable even without my comment. I mean for days I was in massive pain anytime I moved the slightest, then I got the flu. Now Louis has the flu. We start classes next week and I already have so many assignments to take care of before then. The addition of the music classes means I have all this preparation I have to do before Uni begins so it’s entirely impossible to plan anything to make my apology meaningful or romantic enough. I fear I’m losing him.”

Harry realizes he’s feeling bleak like he might have permanently pushed Louis away.

“I think, if you want my opinion, you should see when Louis has his next therapy session if you can go with him. Maybe talk about this with the therapist as a mediator. See if you can’t resolve it that way.”

Shocked, Harry almost screams. “What? What therapist?”

No time in has Louis ever showed any interest in therapy. Not once in the many times that Patti floated out the idea to Louis that when his stepfather was no longer controling him has Louis shown any prospect of interest in seeing a professional specializing working with victims of child sexual abuse. 

“Gemma,” Harry says, “what do you mean therapist? I don’t understand. Louis has always pushed back against seeing anyone, especially since one of the first people to abuse him was a psychologist.”

Gemma nervously qualifies. “I was under the impression you knew. Last week he started seeing someone. Patti had the name of a good, highly regarded specialist. I’ve been told Patti and Troy been hoping for a long time Louis that would eventually accept the offer to see someone to help him. Allow them to pay for it. They had him getting in with the doctor last week while you were bed-ridden, Patti even went with him the first time. You didn’t know?”

“No. No idea. I was sick. So are you saying he went the first time last week, like when he told me he was going to meet Fizzy, or one of the girls, that was not all he was doing?”

“Harry, don’t take this as fact, but I think Louis met the doctor everyday last week. I think because I know Patti called him everyday after the first session. I heard her ask Louis if he wanted to go alone or if she should go with him.” 

***

Harry comes home to a quiet flat. In hand he has some flowers and some soup. The flowers he puts in fresh water before taking into the bedroom. The soup is from Louis favorite deli. Hopefully Louis is ready to try to start eating. It took Harry several days to be able to keep much down. If Louis is on the same trajectory, he should be able to stomach the clear broth.

Entering their bedroom Harry finds the room is dark for daytime since the shades are down. Louis is shifting like he’s awake.

“Any better?”

“Um mum, my nausea is gone it think. Made it through drinking all the water you left. How was Gemma?”

Harry sets down the bowl of soup. He takes a spoon in hand as he instructs. “Here, sit up some. Want you to get a couple spoonfuls of this in you. See if it seems safe for more.”

Louis slides up on a backrest of a pile of pillows. He looks soft, sweet, kinda sexy even though he has dark circles under his eyes and a pale complexion in contrast to his norm. 

“Thank you.” Louis squeaks.

Harry fives him a couple spoonfuls then stops. He puts the spoon in the bowl. Sets it aside. 

It was last week that Louis was tending him, Harry, after being a pillar of strength following caring for Harry in the aftemath of the Paris trip. Why does it feel like there is a void between them?

“Louis. I think we need to see someone, like a therapist. I think it’s time we talk with someone about our messed up lives, our fucked up childhoods. What do you think?”

Louis looks at his hands not Harry, his left hand unadorned. With his voice soft and strained. “You know how I feel about therapists. No. Not since the first time I was seen by one he was the first, first adult, to use me like that, no.. no therapist.”


	62. Chapter 62

On the first day of Uni as Harry and Louis go together to campus Harrys’s feeling of being lovers is the strongest it’s been for two weeks. Louis is giddy with excitement and he takes Harry’s hand every chance he gets. Each time Louis takes Harry’s hand he gives Harry a sweet smile, frequently a quick kiss to. Earlier in the morning Louis had gone through at least five outfit changes before he decided on a look he liked enough to wear out the door. Harry had to remind himself that it has been forever since Louis walked into a classroom of peers, naturally he’s self-conscious about impressions. Besides, Harry surmised that back when Hathaway was in charge of Louis’ image, he tended to decide what Louis would wear in public.

Their first class is the only one they share on their schedule. It’s Intro to Music Theory which Louis is taking because Louis agreed he’d sign up for courses that would allow him to opt for a music minor given that he threw Harry out there for the audition and pushed Harry music.

They walk into the large auditorium which accommodates the huge intro class, the class being so large because it is a prerequisite for all music students. Harry notices that a lot of students look at them longer than just a passing glance. Louis seems oblivious, merely concerned with where they should sit. 

Their instructor is a young thirty-something member of the Music Department who appears to have a fan-girl base in the class. At least most of the girl students seem to be infatuated. The first thing the professor does after the class is settled is to give review of what the syllabus they’ve received from him and what his expectations are. Then he proceeds to give a test. The test he says is not for counting toward their grade but rather it is a way for him to assesss what the basic level of knowledge is given the introductory class can have large variations he explains.

When Harry finishes his test he looks at Louis who appears to have finished well before him, deispite writing about twice as much per question as Harry, is preoccupied with doodling on the margins of his test. One figure Harry can make out is a stick figure on a skate board and in bold above the doodle “Oops!”

After music class Harry and Louis have to part ways. Harry is off to a class in History, Louis to maths. They will meet up again after their respective second classes of the day to walk together to their third classes that are in neighboring building on campus, finance for Harry. After their third class of the day they have time to have lunch together. It is not that long really just once class period before they see each other in passing but it warms Harry’s heart how before they part how Louis initiates stepping into him, planting his body firmly against Harry’s. While he does this he ignores people around them, gives Harry a properly, lingering kiss like lovers do before they go separate ways. 

***

It’s only the third day of classes when their music professor having his stack of pre-test with him, asks if can he see a “Mr Tomlinson before we get started.” 

The professor takes one test from off the top of the stack of pre-tests he’s set on his desk. Trepidaciously Louis goes up the to front of the class to speak with him. Harry tries to determine what the conference is about. He sees how Louis goes from a nervous look to a calm one all the while the teacher seems at very ease, non confrontational as he refers to what must be particular passages on Louis’ test he holds in his hand while they converse.

A conclusion between them is made within a minute or two. Louis turns to come back to his seat with a slip of paper from the professor in hand. He comes to where Harry is sitting but doesn’t try to resume taking his seat on the far side of Harry’s. Instead he says, “Harry hand me my things, please, I am to go to a different class. He’s putting me in Music Composition because of my test.” 

A student sitting off to the side and a row back from them who always stares at Harry has to jump in. “What? You got bumped into Composition? Music Composition? But that requires this and another first year music class, Intro to Music Compostion. That’s a two class jump into second year.” 

Louis fives her comment a shrug, staying with talking to Harry, “I have to go to the other class right now, sorry babe. I’m expected there.” 

Harry passes Louis his messenger bag. “Okay, well then I guess I’ll see you after Maths then, before third period?” 

*** 

By the end of the week Louis being put in the more advanced class seems to be unfortunate because for the first time ever Harry is seeing Louis be the one who is stressed over school. It’s such a role reversal even to the extent that Louis had begun doing a study group one evening which is something Harry found hard to believe Louis would ever need. Louis had tutored him across a diverse number of subjects so this is a surprise. Harry would like to know how the first study group first went, the one that was just the previous night, but Louis says he doesn’t want to talk about it. 

Harry gives up prying. They are leaving campus, heading out to meet Liam, Zayn and Niall at a pub. Unlike Harry who has had a great first week and wants to celebrate hat Louis says “At least I can celebrate surviving my first week”. 

At the pub they join their closest friends but Louis doesn’t talk much about classes. Or anything else. He lets the other lads fill the conversation. He does, however, drink a lot. Hours later when they leave Harry decides he should keep an arm around Louis because walking is a bit of a challenge for him. When they get home Louis passes out the instant he’s sat on their bed. Harry has to undress him and get him under the covers. Harry would have liked to make use of the way the term had started and how affectionate Louis has been. Unfortunately no, not this night. 

*** 

It’s February first. Harry wakes with Louis under the covers where Harry can’t see him but a visual isn’t necessary to know what is at hand. Literally. Louis has Harry’s cock in one hand, lips and tongue burning marks into skin. Someone is starting Harry’s birthday the most perfect of ways. 

Harry hopes to be ridden. He’s endured a lot impediments to sex lately. Unfortunately there has been so little intimacy between them such that Harry’s body becomes too ready to advance too fast. Once Louis begins taking Harry’s erection into his mouth Harry gets a stirring like he’ll be coming in an instant. 

“Louis,” Harry whispers, “Louiiiis,” Hary repeats, his hands forcing down the covers so he can watch as he wants to warn Louis that he won’t last long. 

What a mistake to expose Louis to his sight. Now Harry has to experience the visual beauty along with the beautiful physical sensations Louis creates. He has to admire how pretty Louis is with his eyes closed so his thick lashes feather across his sculpted cheekbones. How his taking Harry’s length requires one delicate hand has to be on the base of Harry’s cock to manage it. These things combined with how Louis is humming, making a vibration in his throat, sends a wave through Harry that he has no time to announce. 

Louis doesn’t take the pressure off Harry until he’s come through the other side of the orgasm. With Harry so relieved Louis follows up with a Harry-flavored kiss.

“Wanna dick me after I get you hard again, watch me use this, or use this on me? Birthday boy wishes are my command?” Louis asks. He’s sitting on Harry. In his hand from under the pillow that was his last night he pulls out a toy. It’s in Louis’ left hand. The hand that should have it’s ring. Harry almost says he wants something else. Almost. 

What Harry wants? He wants Louis to give him his hand, his body, his soul in marriage. 

*** 

Harry has the ring burning in his pocket again when they enter a pub later in the day. 

It’s crowded and loud where everyone is meeting for Harry’s birthday gathering. Grayson was planning to bring Gemma there so Harry could spend his entire day with Louis. They younger generations have joined together for this party with out the invitation including Patti, Troy or Dan. 

Everyone gives a cheer as Harry comes to their table, full with all the Deakin girls, the Visser lads, Gemma, Liam, Niall and Zayn. Zayn is also quick to comment on how they, the table, doesn’t need to ask how Harry day has been so far because it’s clear given how Louis walks. 

It’s true. 

Harry probably made up for a long time of too much life drama suppressing his access to Louis. The drama, the tension seems behind them. The way Louis was today, they’ve gotten past what was an issue in Paris. 

Hours later at last call Harry decides to get the final rounds of drinks. Getting the attention of a waiter is hard because the entire pub is putting in orders. Harry decides to go to the bar and get two more pitchers himself. 

After getting the bartenders attention, order in, he’s grabbing a few bowls of the free snacks to bring back to the table when the lad sat next to his position asks wha the party table is celebrating. 

“Birthday. My birthday.” 

“Happy birthday. Get anything good?” 

“Maybe. Will see. It’s after midnight, so technically my birthday is over, but I hope my boyfriend will accept this ring in my pocket. I’ve been carrying it around since before Christmas. Can’t seem to get a break.” 

The stranger at the bar looks at the table of Harry’s friends, family. “Louis Tomlinson? You’re proposing to Louis Tomlinson? Awesome. He’s so sweet, insanely pretty if you’re into that, which clearly you are. He’s smart. Wicked talented. Congrats, mate. Somebody needs to snag that one.” 

Struck by the guy’s openness, his knowledge of who Louis is, Harry introduces himself, “I don’t think we’ve met, I’m Harry. Harry Styles.” 

“Lloyd McCullock. Louis and I have compostion together. He’s brilliant.” 

Now this catches Harry’s attention. Ever since Louis started the class he’s been unlike the Louis Harry knows. How is it that Louis seems bothered by the class switch but this mate says Louis is so...brilliant. 

“So that’s funny, Lloyd. I mean I know what you’re saying, Louis is excedingly smart, talented. But you see ever since he got put into Compostion, and it’s Compostion II, right? Not even one, he’s been down about Uni. Last term he tutored me in most of my classes so this shouldn’t be so hard but he’s struggling a little. At least with composition. I guess he’s doing a study group one night on campus. It might be helping but I don’t ask cause he’s not really into talking about it.” 

Lloyd looks like Harry is talking Martian. “Dude,” 

Lloyd says that, “Dude” whatever comes next is not right, at least with Harry’s perspective. 

“...dude, Louis is doing fantastic in our class. Outstanding. He’s kind of everybody’s favorite. The prof’s too. I mean everybody, as in e v e r y b o d y, loves Louis. I don’t know about a study group, never heard of that for music, any music class. We in the music program are more the do-it types than the memorize-types. But if I were to guess, because you say he doesn't want to talk about Uni, think about the things he says about his class in Maths. He has that class second, after ours. I know because a group of us walk that way across campus. Every day when we leave class we can see how he dreads the next class. One day I thought he was going to throw up he looked so bad when we got close to the building it’s in. If I were guessing I’d say he’s got a problem with math.” 

Lloyd gets out his wallet to pay his tab. He’s got Harry totally confused because mathematics is very easy for Louis, always has been. Then again... Louis never said about Uni that it was music that was his bane. Harry just assumed. 

Lloyd gets off his barstool and fives Harry a pat on the sholulder. “Nice to meet you Harry, and congrats. I mean I’m sure it will be a ‘yes’ from him. He’s kinda private about some things but when you see what he writes it’s clear he’s got someone very special to him. I’m glad it’s someone equally stunning too because the joke among us straights in Compostion is that if we had to go gay, we’d all go hard for Louis.”


	63. Chapter 63

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It’s short. Plan to update again very soon.

Harry really didn’t expect to have little interest in sex when he and Louis got home after his casual birthday celebration. Maybe the lack of interest was because they had done so much together during the day proceeding going out, but as Harry pulls the ring from his pocket, puts it in a drawer while listening to Louis talking to him from the bed as he undresses, Harry’s back to Louis, Harry is not thinking about anything of what Louis is saying. Harry is only thinking of what Lloyd told him.

Until. 

Turning to look at Louis, it’s hard to pass on taking advantage of the way Louis is looking at him, so hopeful and wanting. Louis was quicker than Harry to get undressed. He’s laying on their bed with his eyes fixed on Harry’s body showing a thirst for it. He has a semi, his ever-still-so-ring-barren left hand playing with himself. Why is it, Harry asks himself, that he doesn’t want Louis now?

“What?” Louis says seeing disinterest in Harry’s eyes.

“What? What?” Harry sort of tries to recover when he knows he wasn’t listening or interested. “Um, what I mean is, what were we talking about? I’m sorry. I have a headache. Drank too much, maybe? What do you think about we pass on this tonight.” Harry nods at Louis’ self play to certify what he’s passing on. 

Louis looks extremely disappointed, however he doesn’t fuss. He stops his palming, gets up, comes to Harry to slip his arms around Harry as he softly kisses over skin on Harry’s chest. “Sure. Whatever you want. Take something for your headache?”

With Louis being so sweet Harry almost wonders out loud why can’t he talk about the issue bothering him.

“Sure. Thanks. And get to sleep.”

Harry goes to their bed. He gets under covers as Louis brings him ibuprofen and water. It’s a soft, loving, sweet Louis who comes to lay with him.

Harry takes a risk. “Did you know there was someone from one of your classes at the pub too. We spoke briefly. Some bloke named Lloyd, from your composition class. He seems nice. Is he in your study group?”

“No. He is really nice though.” 

Louis leaves it at that. He attaches himself to Harry more firmly so Harry is the little spoon saying two words before there is silence. “Sleepy too.”

***

The next day Harry makes certain that Louis is in the shower before going through Louis’ messenger bag. Harry snoops for answers. 

In the bag Harry finds the folder of graded math assignments that Louis has received back. Looking at them Harry is amazed. There’s a lot of red. Remarks, mostly negative, reflect Louis isn’t doing well. Harry doesn’t have the background yet to understand where Louis’ mathematical proofs are weak, but the comments suggest a second prevailing theme; Louis is doing substandard work. The teacher, a Mr Knolls, expects Louis to come see him about. It must be that Louis hasn’t because the red marks go on from the first week. How can this be? Harry remembers when he was struggling in classes how Louis was advocating for Harry doing precisely the thing this Mr Knolls asks of Louis. So what is the big deal? Why don’t the same rules apply to Louis as did to Harry? 

Harry has the papers nearly back before Louis is out of the bathroom. On their way to campus Harry is quiet. He breaks his silence as his confusion about Louis’ apparent deception forces him to test Louis on his truthfulness. 

“Do you have the same schedule this week with the evening study group?”

Louis says “yes”. He adds nothing more.

“You don’t talk about it Louis. Is the study group helping at all?” Harry prods.

“I think so. I need a lot of help though.” Again, Louis says very little, like the less deliberately saying less so that he doesn’t overly complicate a lie.

“Good.” Harry says. This is getting them nowhere.

***

The night of the next so-called-study-group Harry has the look of spending a causal night in wearing sweats and a pullover hoodie as Louis prepares to go out. Harry acts like some show on TV is of interests as Louis, school materials in hand, is stuffing his messenger bag. Louis gives Harry a simple kiss, saying “see you later” as he leaves. 

As soon as Louis is out the door Harry checks his phone app for “Find Friends”. It reveals Louis’ path in broken, steady increments. 

Louis goes to the main road where he should next be turning north to go to campus. Instead Louis heads south at the main road. According to the pace of his position movement that he took public transportation. Soon his phone shows he’s not moving. Louis has arrived somewhere. Not on campus. Harry goes to change his clothes, grabs his keys, gets the address set for navigation as he drives to the location.

It’s an office complex. Medical offices. Dentist, optometrists and one office that appears to be the only one lit up for patients. Dr Janson, psychiatrist, the signage says. Harry looks up the doctor before he leaves his car. Dr Janson is a well-respected specialist in dealing with childhood sexual trauma.

***

Harry has been sitting in the front waiting area of this Dr Janson for at least an hour and a half. The after hours instructions for those entering the office suite is for a person to wait in the welcoming reception waiting room as there is no receptionist after five. So Harry waits. 

And waits. 

And finally after all the waiting, over an hour, a door opens. Out comes a smallish, older man, wearing glasses that blend with the color of his messy grey hair. 

“Excuse me,” the man says with a tone comforting and kind, “I was with a patient. I wasn’t expecting anyone tonight, how may I help you? I’m Dr Janson.” 

It occurs to Harry this might look like he’s a walk in. A person who maybe has come in to see him at some moment of crises or desperation. Harry replies in his typically slow form. 

“I’m Harry Styles. My boyfriend came here. I’m here to see him home.” 

The doctor looks taken back by this. He steps back and inspects Harry like a person does when they are assessing another person. 

“I’m sorry Mr Styles. Who is this boyfriend? And you say you are here to see him home?” 

“Louis Tomlinson. Yes. I’m escorting him home.” 

“Mr Styles I can’t devulge my patients names. I can only tell you that when my patients leave, to protect their privacy, if an electronic signal is tripped in my office that indicates, as it did tonight, that I have an unexpected patient in my waiting room, the patient in session with me has the option to exit through the private, back door, as my patient tonight did. I prefer to give all my patients total and complete confidentiality. The person I was with when you entered my waiting room left twenty minutes ago. I was making notes when alone as is my tradition with each patient. I’m sorry. Is there something else I can help you with?” 

Harry looks at his phone. Louis appears to have gone toward home. It’s clear that he has gotten onto public transit again but the pace. Harry doesn’t mean to be rude, but the way the man was concerned suggests that w h e n Louis is here as Harry knows he was, with this doctor, Harry the topic discussed. 

“Thank you, no.” Harry says. He has to find Louis. 

*** 

No sooner is Harry in his car than he try’s calling Louis. 

Louis answers Harry’s call with a lovey-sounding voice as calls Harry his “babe”. 

“Where are you Louis?” 

“Harry, silly, you know I was at study group, remember? Geez you’ve been strange since your birthday.” 

“Where are you right now? I want to come get you.” 

“Harry, that’s so sweet. No need. Heading home now. See you there soon.” 

Harry knows he sounds more menacing than anyone should when he responds. Somehow he can’t control it. “No. I’m not home Louis...I went to Dr Janson’s office...I know you aren’t going to a study group! You haven’t been honest with me.” 

Louis is silent for a long time. “How...who....what? Why... I mean, did Patti tell you where I was going?” 

“Is that Louis? Is that all you have to say, did Patti tell me? Did Patti tell M E, really! No Louis, Patti did not tell me. Lloyd told me you are not doing a study group that he knows of. Mentions that you're struggling in maths of all things. It was your phone that clued me where you went. Remember Louis, we have find friends on our phones.” 

Harry knows his tone is scathing. Forceful. Possessive. A violation of privacy confessed, it’s out there before he can feel his regret. 

And like that Harry immediately wants to take his words back. 

Harry is starting to do that when he realizes that Louis has hung up. Also, as soon as the disconnect Harry’s Find Friends app location for Louis goes off.

***

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The next bit is giving me trouble making it readable and not too weird so I pulled it off this chapter to treat it with hopefully something to compete the direction of Harry and Louis as fateful soulmates despite being broken. 
> 
> Thanks for reading, the kudos, comments!


	64. Chapter 64

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here is the second part intended to be continuous with the last chapter. Thanks for reading/ endurance!  
> ***

Not able to get Louis to answer his phone, Harry’s panic goes stratospheric when he discovers that, indeed, Louis did also not go home once the call terminated. Harry goes back out to look for Louis after checking their flat, calling him over and over again, all the while kicking himself for his words. An hour into this physically searching the streets while calls go unanswered the voice mail box on Louis’ phone tells Harry it’s full and can no longer accept messages. 

At this point Harry gets Zayn and Niall involved. Liam is at work at the hospital. At least the good thing about that is Liam is able to have emergency room admissions alerted for a person matching Louis’ description. 

A couple hours later with no sign of Louis, they have Beck and Grayson helping. Soren and Dan are both traveling for work. By 5am the search team that includes Louis’ sisters, convinces Harry to call Troy and Patti. Harry had already called the authorities who were not convinced that this wasn’t a typical young lovers quarrel and treat this as not their concern until sufficient time has passed or supportive evidence that there was something nafarious afoot. 

Troy and Patti however take a much more reactive approach. The secret they’d kept from Harry, at Louis’ request, is out; Louis had finally begun seeing a psychiatrist but the trigger for this move, why he chose to not tell Harry, they could not explain. All they can say is they thought it has something to do with the trip to Paris. 

It absolutely was a result of Paris, Harry knows. He’s felt it everyday since. Troy makes a point to schedule a time he’d meet with Harry to go over everything once, suggesting, he’d investigate, or as Troy says, something that sounds like that but not that actually that because he only says “ambassador-ish”-things. Meanwhile Patti plans to push Dr Janson to violate confidentiality since is almost twelve hours since the last exchange between them and there is still no Louis. 

By the time first morning classes are to start at Uni the plan is to send someone to every one of Louis’ classes. Maybe he has a friend he might have gone to outside of the circle that includes families, footballers, and any other person they could come up with who Louis normally associates with. Harry has already called everyone he can think of, even someone as insignificant as Brad, by example, just to be thorough on the off chance of finding where Louis went after he hung up. By later in the day there is still no Louis. 

The flat Harry and Louis live in seems small, though it is not, it only seems so because everyone is there. Harry has gotten an appointment later this evening to meet with the officer who stakes statements for missing persons. He has to wait until it’s been a full twenty four hours since Louis was last in contact. Harry is checking the time in constant anticipation of filing a report.

Following meeting with the police Harry, with Troy accompanying him, comes back home to a flat full of people, yet it still feels vacuously empty. 

The hour is very late. No one has anything new to share; they hope maybe Harry does. Harry is too exhausted to talk. With his closest friends, his ‘brothers’, Zayn, Niall and Liam, opting to stay at his flat for the night Harry pretends to appreciate it when they make him something to eat. He can’t taste it when he tries to eat. Food is tasteless. The emptiness of home grows. 

The next day they plan to do the same thing as today all over again to look for Louis who surely should be over the insult with this much time having passed. 

*** 

Five AM Liam wakes Harry to talk to Troy who has called Liam’s phone this extremely early hour because Harry’s sleeping through his phone ringing due to emotional exhaustion. 

Troy tells Harry how he’s just leaving from speaking with Dr Janson. Troy suggests the plan for searching for Louis to be to rethink what they haven’t done to find him, but first Troy wants to address what he coins “the sensitive subject of Paris” with Harry. 

Harry’s trying to put his mind around how early this call at five AM means Troy started his day, maybe a sign Troy could not or did not sleep in his worried state. Liam leaves the room going to make Harry some stout Yorkshire tea. Harry is grateful when Liam returns with the tea as he tries to waken from a blurr of stress. 

“According to Janson the reason Louis has been seeing him is because of something that happened in Paris. The thing about it requires me to ask you something. Something you might not like to answer. Not that I see how this has anything to do with the where Louis went when he hung up on you, but his mindset might help explain the why he did that.” 

Harry is sure now more than ever his somewhat close to a Hathaway-like reaction over Louis taking too long with Claude is the justifiable the cause. 

“Okay. I can tell you anything you want to know. I probably should have told someone before now that I was particularly not entirely nice once while in Paris when I was sort of worried that Louis was...well I kind of told him I don’t trust him around other men. I did not mean for it to sound like what Hathaway would say but I’m sure from his perspective it absolutely did.” 

“Harry...Obviously Louis hasn’t said anything to anyone in our family about that sort of thing. However the psychiatrist did say quite specifically that Louis had a regretful decision he made in Paris and he couldn’t shake it. The decision had a motivation that is not maybe what you would expect. Perhaps you can tell me. How many times have you been to Paris before you and Louis went this time? How old were you when you first went there, was it for your work?” 

Head spinning, Harry answers as completely as he can. “It was for work, yes. I have to guess the date because I can’t be sure. I think it was when I was about thirteen. I had made a transition into only taking a more wealthy clientele. I made a few trips during that time with a man who was from France. A very secretive sort of fellow. Most my clients are, were, but he was particularly that way. Why? What does this have to do with me and Louis?” 

“How can I say this, son, sometimes people do things for reasons we don’t fathom. Dr Janson is working with Louis to help Louis decide if he is who he wants to be, or if he’s living in the shadow of so many years of things such as what that monster said he is or if he is who he chooses to be. If you suggested to Louis you were reflecting a belief, shared by Hathaway, that when Louis is with men, he makes them want him, you may have opened a huge wound.” 

Harry sorts among a thousand thoughts in his mind. “Troy I don’t understand. I know I did the sort of thing that, well, we both know Aiden would never have done, but I don't understand what would any of what I stupidly said have to do with when I was in Paris years ago?” 

The mention of Aiden has Troy on the spot having to confront something, Harry assumes, Troy prefers to avoid. 

“You know Harry, we, me and Patti, our other sons, will never stop wanting Aiden back. That’s a given. I’ve wondered thousands of times, did he ever feel a threat? If he did why didn’t he tell me.Don’t add his death to this, to your situation. Sure those of us who knew and loved Aiden believe he was perfect in so many ways, yes. In everything Louis needs? No. He never had with Louis what you and Louis have, so much in common allowing you to understand each other, both having such horrible, horrible childhoods. It’s a bond that makes you uniquely perfect for each other. Pretty sure in some way Aiden was trying to foster for Louis a friendship with a person who he believed Louis could have that shared understanding of lives not perfect. How Aiden ever agreed with being patient about things, specifically like tolerating Louis pushing back from being rescued by intervention, I don’t know. I guess he was afraid Louis would do just this sort of thing, run away from him. We’re addressing decisions made by children, teens. You lads all are so young. You, Louis, Aiden was. If only we’d known the thing Louis needed, those pictures of Jay, her letters, if we’d only know that they were coming to him with or without what Hathaway tried to control, once Louis was eighteen, maybe we could have forced the extraction of Louis, saved him from the years of abuse and minimized it’s effects on his psyche. But who are any of us to understand how his environment made Louis what he is now.” 

There is a pause then Troy puts away his reflections based on Harry mentioning Aiden and returns to the now. “In a way that bond with Louis through both being used, which you, not Aiden, are uniquely qualified to understand, gets to this we are trying to figure out now. What happened? There is some thing about events in Paris that, rational or not, Louis could not share even with you. It appears the the man you met at the ice rink in Paris, this man Claude, Claude Bernard, that is his name, and you are at the core of this. Claude Bernard is not what he seems to be. He has some business connections that he uses to mask what he really does. He has a public profile as being some sort of professional skating coach, while he really works as an assistant to people who prefer to have their business completely unknown. One person he works for is the sort of person who would see a young prostitue that he likes in London, maybe bring the prostitue to France, once he was done the child, his dirty secrets hidden away he sends the child back. Or he could have killed the prostitue. I’m talking about you Harry. A man you went to Paris with years ago, around when you were just thirteen, could have killed you. I’m guessing he planned to. Maybe in your case you were let go after your rendezvous because the client had an attraction that he couldn’t sever after he was with you. You said you went to Paris more than once with that same man. That made you the ‘lucky one’ perhaps. Maybe lucky enough that the man even went so far as to ask Claude to photograph you together as some keepsake, so he’s aware of its existence. Here’s the thing. Hiding the identity of this man, his obsessions, like Claude is doing of someone who doesn’t want to be outed from the closet is The Job. So how it is now that this Claude decides to show a valuable thing, this photo, the keepsake we’ll call it, to Louis, trade it even, I don’t know the rationele. No clue why.” 

Harry wonders if he’s hearing what he is hearing. “What are you saying? I don’t understand.” 

“I’m saying what appears to be a picture of a much younger Harry Styles photographed with someone who doesn’t want to be outed, someone who is very dangerous, was given to Louis in Paris when you were on holiday there this year. I assume given to Louis by the person who took the picture many many years ago, the man named Claude Bernard. There was a sort of trade between Louis and Claude. By that I mean in some way Louis paid for the photo.” 

“Are, are you saying...how did you get this information? The doctor, he wouldn’t...” 

“Dr Janson didn’t want to reveal this photo, it’s existence to me without significant assurances, it’s tied to confidentially with his patient. That was until this morning when, confidentially agreements be damned, now that Dr Janson is very concerned too that Louis is in real trouble when I told him what happened between you and Louis. I went to the doctor’s home this morning at 3AM, woke him up, insisted we deal with this bizarre disappearance before any more time passed. From there we went to his office. The picture is locked in a file Janson has on Louis. Louis gave it over to him on their first meeting as Louis was on a precipice of some sort of breakdown after you were home from Paris. That was the week when you came down with the flu. When Janson showed me the picture I immediately recognized the man who is in the photo with you Harry. We work in the same sort of circles. No idea he is gay. He probably doesn’t want anyone to know that . Going back to some six years ago when you went to Paris with him would put it back when Claude was working for him, kind of like a French version of ‘a Walter’ who works for me now, if you get my meaning. For some reason, Claude must have decided after all this time to offer Louis the picture. Not sure how wise that move is for Claude to risk. My understanding is the man in the photo, your client, still works for his government. He’s still considered extremely dangerous. Claude shouldn’t take risks like that, to pass on the photo even to Louis, even though he knows Louis must have wanted to bury it.” 

Harry has a recall of every relevant exchange between he and Louis leading up to now. It is like a replay of a film of them where every critical moment since they took the ice in Paris until now runs through his mind. He remembers how this tall man at the ice rink had a thirst in his eyes when he looked at Harry’s mouth. He remembers how after the accident Louis would be wearing the ring one time when Harry woke, then the next time he would not. He remembers the seemingly unnnecessarily lengthy amount of time passing waiting to be released before Louis returned with clothes. It was two hours, too long for a quick errand from hospital to hotel and back to grab clothes. Then there was Louis with that odd behavior after. 

“I’m not saying Louis knows any of this history of the client. He really can’t, at least I can’t see Claude telling Louis who the man is that was photographed with you. I really, really am grasping with the risk of him passing it on. Nor do I understand how Louis can possibly think this is the only copy. It’s Dr Janson’s understanding of what Louis knows that this is only some random, ordinary client of yours that you are pictured with. That one picture is apparently worry enough for Louis. Dr Janson claims Louis’ motivations were to keep the picture from its adverse effects on your fixture should someone run with it. He is afraid it could be put on porn sights or worse, for public consumption to destroy your new direction. Janson suggests that during their sessions Louis spoke of how he believes you’ll be this amazing pop star someday, or something like that. The photo would be damning. The thing is, Louis feels like it’s a betrayal to your relationship, something he did. He did ‘allow’ something in trade. Does this sound like something you and he have as the underlying cause of friction since Paris?”

Oh god, ‘yes’, Harry thinks. “Troy, what do we do? We have to find him. Last night, without knowing about this I started wondering was Hathaway behind this. I couldn’t come up with any other explanation. And now you are telling me that we have got some crazy henchman, working for another henchman, out there running around with pictures of me and he was bribing Louis...if I’ve put Louis in danger...” 

”Stop there Harry. Look, first Hathaway is not free to order actions of vengeance. He just can’t. Don’t even think about that. Claude’s motivation is unusual, but I think it was circumstance. I don’t think in a million years that he expected to run into you. This doesn’t drawl Louis into the thing between him and another man who Claude should not be so foolish as to tamper with. However Harry. However, it does tell us why Louis was so easy thrown into a behavior that irratic. This photo, the bargain, explains the why he was keeping things from you, now we have to work on the question of where could he go. Louis must have encountered someone when he hung up on you, probably only serendipitously, that he knows. When we were with the police I took the liberty of suggesting they look a transit footage for him. They didn’t want put people on it yet so last night after I left your flat I found the people who working the route, talked to three of them. You know where it was Louis that got off after passing the stop closest to your flat. One of the three people I spoke to recalls seeing Louis. Knows it was him, right down to the color of Louis’ beanie and details like how Louis’ sleeves covered almost his entire fingers. He confirms that Louis got off between yours and the first stop before campus. Who does Louis know that lives around there? He hasn’t gone any place in public that we know of. His card would be used unless he happens to have a lot of cash that he’s able to spend. Since we issued him that card on an account we manage for him Patti has been all over checking it’s activity ever since you called us. He hasn’t used it for days before all this. Last time was a coffee shop on campus last week. So he’s got to be somewhere close. Has to be. He’s with a friend. Who is it Harry? Who could it be? It’s not someone who knows you, or the other boys, who is it? Think about it. Today we canvas the classes again. Think about anyone he’s mentioned even the most casual of interactions.” 

*** 

It has to be Lloyd. Harry’s convinced. Everybody loves Louis, Lloyd said. All the hets said they would be able ‘to go gay for Louis’. It’s Lloyd or someone Lloyd knows Harry is convinced as thy get to campus. This morning everyone wants to skip classes, or work, go with Harry to confront the suspect Lloyd. They all can’t act as a mob. It’s elected that Harry, Troy and Dan who abandoned an engineering assignment in Northern Ireland, to help find his son, who go with Harry. Niall kind of shadows the three of them. Though he’s not officially part of this team, it Harry kind of likes that because it’s badly needed humor to see how poorly Niall stands out when he’s trying to be spy-stealthy. 

The music class has a lot going on so that walking in and approaching the professor doesn’t phase the students. It’s practially like walking through a scattering of orchestral players during warm up before a symphony. Or a jazz concert on speed with ADD. This is because the groups of students that are clustered are all indeed warming up before they are to be going one grou at a time to preform their piece they’ve been working on as groups of four to five. 

The professor takes the missing Louis story seriously, says everybody loves Louis in fact, and gives them free range to ask around. As it turns out Louis is not inna group with Lloyd. The prof indicates his group on this assignment is the one with only three students, Louis would have made four. 

The three women who are Louis’ team are instantly upset by the situation. So much so it makes the three of them feel bad but they press through questions trying to be a bit more gentle. 

Next they talk to Lloyd’s group. Lloyd is understandably upset more than the three young women because it’s obvious he’s the one person Harry has met and he immediately thinks it’s because he confided how Louis is appealing. In that way. 

Harry gets a distinct feeling that this is going no where when the entire class is interviewed and they leave the room. Standing in the hall, Troy and Dan getting organized about the next class, a maths class, not so easy to roam around during and interrupt, when Lloyd comes out to the hall. 

“Hey, I got to tell you, dick move aside, cause that was seriously a dick move to suggest anyone in the class was playing at abducting a fellow student, but I think I want to help because it’s pretty clear you, all of you don’t know what was in his head sometimes. Or anytime. I could se him go from one person to some other person in a snap like he keeps this horrible secret inside and when he’s someplace safe he’s like the light, the sun this energetic ball of fun. But then at times he goes into this shell and it’s like he’s a totally different person. Like something is tearing him from the inside. I would never hurt him, but since something was implied, you own it, I’m going with you before you offend every student on campus who is in class with him. And I’m doing it to help find him, not because I care if you believe anyone or not.” 

Lloyd’s high ground speech has them mute. Dan says okay, Troy elbows Harry, Harry apologizes. 

Llyod resumes particaping in class. Harry can hear the differ group’s performance pieces. He knows exactly which one is Louis’ group even with them missing his constribution. It’s a song Harry has heard Louis practice. This is the first time Harry has heard Lyrics. 

Damn. Salt in the wound. The lyrics have Louis’ hand in them. 

Fucking damn. Embedded in them are references to Harry. Louis loves him. 

*** 

As they head across campus to maths with Lloyd a self designated leader he acts like a de facto tour guide. At one point he says, “...and here is where Louis usually starts to turn pale. He gets oddly quiet. He pulls his sleeves down over his fingers more like he does sometimes if he’s cold, he adjusts his fringe under his beanie. This is where he gets closed into himself. He stops smiling. And here we are. Entrance to the building of the Department of Mathematics. Come on. I’ll show you which room his class meets in. I had to take him all the way there one day, when Louis on that particular day, actually did throw up on his way here. So after that, we, me and another classmate from music made sure to help him clean up and walked him here because he insisted he was still going though we thought he should skip.” 

At the door a bunch of students are entering the class looking stereotypically math-nerdy. At least many of them had pocket protectors holding their fine point pencils. Certainly none of them looked like the type one would fear could abduct a fellow student. Friendly with Louis? Yes, though his type skews to a roudy side, but yes. 

They are about to enter to insist upon an inquisition when Lloyd stops them. “Wait.” He looks in, check his phone to verify it’s the same class then explains, “at first I thought this isn’t the same class. It’s the same room. A couple students look familiar, at least I think Louis sits over there by that girl with the black hair. It’s just that the teacher is different than I remember. Much older. At least I think,” 

Lloyd interrupts himself to catch a student passing between them to join his class, “excuse me. Could you tell me, this class is Theoretical Mathematics right?” 

The student nods, looking like the group of four arresting his scamper to class-nerdville is frightening. Lloyd questions more. “What happen to the teacher, that isn’t the same one that was here at the start of the term is it?” 

Scampering student adjusts his glasses, nervously answers. “No. This is Professor McCoy. He is the regular professor but he was gone at the start of the term. A medical family thing. His grad student was teaching for the interim, your thinking of Cal. Cal Brian Knolls. Or as he likes to be call MR K N O L L S. Real arse, um, sorry, ur if you don’t mind me saying. Thankfully we haven’t seen Cal for two days since Doc got back. Really hope the heath front continues well for Doc McCoy, he’s a great teacher.” 

Harry gets a feeling. The hair on the back of his neck goes up. “Directory. We need to look at the staff directory. I need to see a picture of this real-arse-Cal. We know a Cal. Me and Louis. Not know him know him, but we’ve had encounters.”


	65. Chapter 65

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just for reference we have the young doctor Eric Johnson coming back into this chapter. He was the doctor who saw Louis after the last time Hathaway assaulted him. 
> 
> We also have the docots’s brother mentioned.
> 
> We have a lot more clarification on Troy.
> 
> That’s about it. Sorry it took so long. Damn work thing...  
> Thanks for reading!

The picture in the staff directory of Calbert Brian Knolls states that he is a teaching assistant working under Dr McCoy. Calbert is indeed the same Cal who was pressed against Louis, a hand inside Louis’ pants, mouth all over Louis when Harry went looking for Louis finding him party at Brad’s the last time Harry and Louis hit a rough spot in their relationship. Harry could never forget coming upon Cal and Louis in the back of Brad’s flat, Cal’s chiding way of telling Harry to basically wait his turn, the meaning of that implication of tandem sex with Louis. That started a fight between them. Separated by Brad and other party-goers, Cal’s claim as he spat back at Harry was that Louis came on to him. This made nothing better in Harry’s opinion of Cal. Nor did it help when a couple days after the party that Cal showed up at their front door somehow getting the false idea of Louis being a twink for hire under Harry Styles’ “management.”

With the door slammed in Cal’s face by Louis it seemed like that should have literally shut the door on any interactions going forward between the three of them. It’s a unpleasant coincidence that Louis would end up taking a course where the teaching assistant is Cal. It’s particularly surprising discovery given that Cal is built like a rugby player more than a math geek. Confronted with this unlikely scenario it’s dawned on Harry why Louis never mentions maths, why he had such dread for the class each day. It also explains why he has the bad marks on his work and a non-receptive attitude to meet alone in the teaching assistant’s office to ‘discuss the work’.

Was Louis bidding his time until the professor came back to work in hopes his grade could recover? Perhaps. 

The perplexing question is why would Louis have turned to someone like Cal? 

Thanking Lloyd for his assistance the three seekers leave campus after they learn from the department of mathematics secretary that “teaching assistance Mr Knolls is not on campus. He requested a few personal days off now that his mentor and direct advisor resumed teaching his classes”. Troy doesn’t even bother to press the department secretary for the address of Cal Knolls. Somehow “the so-called ambassador” has located an address from a search using his phone. Harry is sickened when the address appears to be in the vicinity of the place where Louis terminated the Find Friends connection between their phones. 

*** 

The building that Cal resides has security code for entry. Apparently Troy’s phone has an app for that. Or so Troy it seems. Harry, Troy and Dan get to the front door of Cal’s flat where Harry prepares to beat on the door but Troy pulls Harry’s fist back. The so-called ambassador keys open the door with a small device Harry can’t see as it’s swallowed by the hand in which Troy uses it. Oddly just now as Troy does this Harry notices that at sometime before this point in their roaming search Troy has decided to put on a pair of black leather gloves. 

Once the door is unlocked Troy slowly pushes it open only slightly at first. Harry wants to rush but Troy signs silently for Harry to stay put, to be quiet. Ever so slightly Troy opens the door more doing it very slowly as to not make any sound or draw attention. 

Dan stays close to Harry, taking the spy-like lead of Troy in stride. For Harry it is a strain to stifle his need to call out for Louis but he follows Troy in a stealthly quiet entry into the flat. 

It’s sort of unusually dark in the the room front room. The sky outside is rather dark for day hours as it’s cloudy, there appears to be rain coming. Adding to this the shades in the living room of the flat they’ve entered are all pulled shut, no lights are on in the room although this flat is not vacant.

From a room, one of three off the main room, is a sound of voices. Troy points, not that there is need, to the couch as they invade this private residence, moving slowly further into uninvited territory.

Laying on the arm of the couch is a familiar coat and beanie. On the floor beside the couch is a messenger bag, also Louis’.

Harry feels himself flush with rage. Hands form fists again. This time they won’t fail to be used.

From the back room, the only one with an open door they hear two men in conversation. The first says, “Unbelievable, that was so good, he’s so so good. Care to get in there, dick my cum out of him again?”

“God, yes!” 

Harry runs into the room from which the voices came. He gets Cal by the throat just as Cal is pushing himself off a motionless, sprawled-out, face-down Louis who has just received a load of cum probably just a minute before Troy keyed into the flat.

Coming into the bedroom on Harry’s heals, Dan lunges at the other man, the person Cal was talking to who was clearly ready to take his turn as Harry heard him exclaim. Enraged, Dan appears completely undaunted by the reality that the man he attacks is larger, younger, more heavily muscled, or even that the man is completely nude, caught off guard with an eager erection in hand.

It’s Troy who puts a stop on Harry’s attempt to plumult Cal by putting his arms around Harry’s waist, taking Harry back so to break Harry’s throat hold on Cal. Harry hears the scuffle between Dan and the second offender goes uninterrupted, as Troy says, “Harry take Louis, listennto me, I need you to take him.”

Released by Troy such that Harry is dropped down beside Louis on the bed, Troy turns to Cal. 

He’s brutally efficient. Harry is amazed. Troy has Cal down having beaten him in the face several times in quick succession. Cal seems “suppressed”, conscious but whining in pain, hand over his face. Troy turns to help do the same with the second young man who was getting the better of Dan. 

Harry wraps a blanket around Louis who responds not at all to the sound of Harry’s voice. Harry lifts Louis who remains disturbingly limp in Harry’s arms.

Dan gets out of Troy’s way, seeing that Harry has Louis in arms, starts to use his phone as Troy moves assist Dan. Troy quickly beats the second young man into submission taking him to the floor. “I’ll call the police.” Dan says. 

“No.” Troy tells Dan arresting the phone call before Dan can make it. Troy hovers where he has put the second man into rubble on the floor. “No, no don’t call them. Leave it to me to take care of these two. Take Louis, just get him out of here now. I’m going to have a little chat with these two. When I’ve finished with them they will have what they deserve. We’re not putting Louis through a trial again. I don’t think he can take it. Vengeance is swifter, at least mine will be, longer lasting than what the courts will do to them.”

Dan looks puzzled. He accepts Troy’s vigilanteism. 

‘Oh sure’, Harry thinks, ‘so Troy doesn’t seems so much like an ambassador does he’, but he says to Dan, “No argument here, hospital Dan, let Troy have them.” Then Harry repeats “Hospital.”

A very disheveled, slightly confused Dan with several cuts and bruises on his face, helps tuck more of the blanket up around Louis so Harry can carry Louis without the dragging or tripping on the blanket. Heading out through the front room of the flat Dan picks up the scattering of Louis’ personal items as they leave. Away from the scene of Louis submitted to the assault Dan is speechless, sort of strangely lacking words, guiding Harry with a soft hand on the center of Harry’s back. Unlike Harry who has seen this too many times before, Dan has only seen this as an aftermath from the one time. Harry wonders if Dan isn’t also in need of some help coping because he has a new revelation of what a fucked up world his son was left to endure without a proper parent like Jay or him.

It’s an advantage that Niall had continued shadowing them when it comes to getting Louis to the hospital. Liam must have also been informed by Niall where the search lead because by the time Harry with Louis in arms, Dan and Niall arrive at the hospital it’s clear Dr Johnson would had seen Louis after the last encounter with Hathaway was expecting them. 

In fact Liam comes with the doctor, stops shy of approaching beyond the curtained off area of ER where Louis is to be seen while Eric Johnson pushes on, almost literally pushing aside the on-duty physician, saying he will take over with this patient. 

When Eric and the nursing team peel away the blanket, it becomes impossible for Dan to witness any more; he becomes ghostly pale, turns away, hand over mouth, leaves at a sprint looking to be sick. 

Harry’s seen all of this with Louis before. 

So many bruises. Mostly on Louis’ throat and neck. Also shoulders, arms and many clustered everywhere around his pelvis and thighs. Eric is making comments to a pair of nurses working with him, being careful to talk calmly and quiet. The team is preparing to have this test or that test run, something about Louis’ status makes Eric want certain, specific, additional tests. He has a specimen collection that he is making, Harry recognizes this as what they do when samples are submitted to a crime lab for testing to verify sexual assault. Also there are the photos they do for that which Harry watches as he too has a stomach that is churning uncomfortably. Harry almost tells Eric what happened but Harry is cut off when when the young doctor makes a passing statement directed to Harry. “When the news reported that Hathaway was convicted I thought for certain that we’d seen the last of this”. Harry offers nothing. He’s at a total loss for an explanation only able helplessly watch while Eric is on auto pilot proficiently working with his nursing team while exercising extreme tenderness in every touch. 

It doesn’t take long before Eric concludes what he can do in ER and addresses Harry. “Harry we are going to take him to different area of the hospital to check out a few other things. After that we’ll transfer Louis to a room. If I can’t come get you myself I will have someone find you, bring you too his room when Louis is assigned one.”

Harry’s relieved that Eric doesn’t ask for any details from Harry and he assumes Harry has no hand in this. Instead Eric pats Harry on the shoulder, says “Don’t worry. We’ll take good care of him.” 

As Louis gets rolled from the ER the gripping pain of remorse takes over Harry. Why did he say anything to Louis, why did not wait until Louis came home? 

Harry finds he’s not the only one trying to sort out emotions. He finds Dan standing in the busy waiting area. Liam has found Dan and is comforting the very distraught father. Once Harry joins them Liam walks them to a different waiting area in a different wing of the hospital. It’s one Harry has seen before, in fact the where he first met Dan the last time Louis was at this hospital. There they wait with Liam leaving them because he’s got duties to return to. 

*** 

While Harry and Dan wait for what seems an eternity Dr Janson arrives with a brief case in hand. He is timid as he approaches Harry seated with Dan. Probably because Dan has numerous painful looking bruises from the scuffle at the flat. When Harry introduces the mouse-like man, Dr Janson, as the psychiatrist Louis has started seeing, Niall leaves to find a snack cart or so he says like he doesn’t want to admit he’s giving them privacy. 

After introductions Dr Janson takes a seat, explains his timely arrival, “Mr Visser called me fifteen minutes ago to tell me you found Louis. Told me he would be here. Mr Visser tells me some of the behavior that unfolded following young Louis’ departure from my office and subsequent disappearance. I take you found him with the wrong crowd?” 

“Wrong crowd? A little more than that. Any chance you can explain to me what he was thinking? I want to understand all that is behind what makes him do something so hurtful to himself.” 

Dr Janson has a practiced calm to his mannerism, his tone of voice. In someway Harry suspects that the psychological expert has a great deal of understanding that Harry really isn’t anymore normal, if normal means undamaged, than Louis. Both Harry and Louis are products of a horrible childhood. Harry just has the advantage of the illusion that his life was his choices and in his own power. That doesn’t mean that Harry isn’t also entirely fragile despite what Harry likes to believe he shows on the surface. 

“Harry I can tell you Louis was leaving that night from our session with a commitment that he was going to try to talk to you about what was troubling him. I think if there hadn’t been a conflict setting him off he would have come to you quite soon, maybe even that night, about his fears, his failures. I can only guess since his path took him instead to another unfortunate encounter he had some triggering event.” 

“You could say that!” Harry says somewhat sharper with anger to it. Whether Harry is angry at anyone other than himself he can’t be sure. What stops Harry from saying more is seeing Troy coming their way. He’s taken off the black gloves. The only sign he had any adventures earlier was how his thick, greying hair, normally neat and styled is slightly a mess. Unlike Dan he shows no sign of any altercation. 

Troy makes a direct line to Harry, Dan and the doctor. Sitting in a chair that he pulls around to make a tight, more private setting for them to talk he opens with a pronouncement. 

“You’ll both be happy to learn that the Maths Department is gong to need a new teaching assistant...those lads have just given notice to the landlord that they no longer will be living at that flat. Seems they will be leaving London.” 

Dr Janson doesn’t understand the meaning. Harry and Dan do. “I can give you more than you want to hear about our chat or stick to the minimal facts.” Troy says before he launches into what he learned from them. “So Louis took wrong exit at the wrong time because those two had just left their flat, going out for some pints. They see Louis, Cal, seeing him, points him out to his flatmate. Seems Cal had previously told his flatmate a great detail about this certain boy, going back to some meeting at a party last year, a flirtation between he and Louis, Louis coming onto him, then going and how to his delight the same lad was in the class he was teaching. Voilà, there, out of the blue, there on the sidewalk the other night was the same enchanting lad. They said Louis was just standing there a few feet away from where he exited sort of looking lost, confused at least. Looking at his phone.” 

Harry is sure that is precisely when Louis had just dropped the call, switched off Find Friends. 

“They approached Louis who was...jittery, that’s what they said when he saw Cal. He was obviously startled at accidentally stumbling into the very person who has been harassing him. From Cal’s own admission Cal said he’d been spending considerable effort to try to manipulate Louis in maths since he had leverage over Louis’ grade hoping Louis would hook up with him for sex. Louis apparently, snapped realizing he was in a bad place, shaking off the surprise streetside encounter by simply telling them to fuck off, turning to leave. He ran, they said.” 

Harry can picture Louis. Caught off guard but nevertheless the same spit-fire Louis he is in most conflict settings, of course Louis would tell someone he dislikes exactly that, to fuck off. He turned to leave? Which direction? One direction was toward campus and away from home. The other would take him back to Harry. 

“Which way? He turned to go which way? To campus or ours? Did they say?” 

“Home Harry. Louis ran for home. But they persued him, tackled him, by force tried to get him out of sight. Louos being smaller didn’t stop the fact that it took some considerable effort to secure him. It sounds like there were too many people passing by. They subdued him as best they could so that he appeared only to look like some stone-cold, knackered companion they were seeing home.” 

“Once at their flat they didn’t wait; they did have an initial, renewed struggled with him. However once he was pretty battered he became, well, what they said was freaky as they began to try to, you know. They said he was resisting them once second, the next second he was almost laughing about them or this thing happening to him, something about ‘someone’, someone, he described as ‘so right about him’.” 

This is where Troy pauses. He looks at Dr Janson seeking clarification. “Louis kept saying the same things over and over again if he wasn’t full out resisting. ’He’s right’, Louis would say. Or. ‘I make all the boys want this’, Louis would say. Things like that. Though they didn’t understand his meaning, sounds to me like what was coming out of his mouth was what his step-father preached to him during the years of being sexually assaulted. While these two blokes had no clue why Louis would start saying things like this, while also doing some kind crazy almost laughing at times, they said he would other times go complete placid, giving to their desires for a few seconds as he’d say crazy things, some weird acceptance. Then suddenly there was a switch, he go back to fighting them. It was like he was split into two people, they said. One some slut, compiling wih his fate, the other this determined resistance, refusing to submit to having sex.” 

Harry is expecting Janson to label this, this behavior that describes what sounds like a complete mental breakdown, but Janson says nothing. Harry looks at Dan, his expression the reason for reserve from the doctor. Dan is aghast. 

Harry puts an arm around Dan before he broaches another question. “But he’s been in their flat this entire time, so what... they’ve been just being happily entertained? What were they thinking they were going to do after they had enough?” 

Troy is aware that Dan looks like he could puke any second. “Because he hasn’t been boring I don’t think they thought that far. They have been having a very good time. His behavior triggered some kink, or became such a turn on, they tried to convince me it overwhelmed them. The roommate in particular tried to convince me that he’s not into boys, never has been, so this is a first offense sort of thing. I think he hoped that this argument would work, like a plea for some leniency. It sort of ruined it though when he admitted how Louis was, as Cal described pretty, naturally sexy, the perfect twink. I think when Louis was sitting the class Knolls was teaching everydayit gave Knolls opportunity to create his own pages of fantasies and fetishes. Once they had Louis Knolls was taking his pleasure off his list one at a time, sometimes enjoying sitting back and watching, letting his flatmate fulfill the dream. The two of them are both big enough, built muscularly enough, to manhandle Louis with relative ease. It looked to me like at some point one of them left the flat to go buy some stuff, you know, that kind of stuff, since they had used Louis pretty hard.” 

This sends Dan rushing out of the waiting room. Harry is sure Dan is seeking a men’s room. Harry wants to go too. For his own need to purge or maybe also to assist Dan. It also occurs to him how Dr Janson sits listening, observing, saying nothing. Harry can’t form a thought even though he watches in his numbed state as Troy hands Dr Janson a watch that Troy removes from his wrist passing it saying “Voice transcript of their confession. Maybe something there will help you help Louis. There is my voice, theirs and a sort of associate of mine, Walter, who came to hel me after Harry and Dan left taking Louis, but Walter doesn’t say much.”

Harry is staring at the watch. Troy explains how to download the transcript if Janson wants to read it rather than play it. Harry wants to grab the watch and take it for himself. Emerge himself in the evidence of psychological destruction he triggered and the details of the prolonged sexual assault Louis has endured. But then. There is doctor Johnson. Standing there looking optimistic, wanting to address Louis’ family. 

“Harry, Mr Visser, Mr Deakin I see stepped out,” Eric says while he eyes Dr Janson as the one individual he doesn’t know, “and you are?” 

“Dr Janson. Louis is my patient since sometime back in early January. I’m a Doctor of Psychiatry and Neurochemistry. In fact I’d like to consult with you or the attending physician about Louis. I believe we need to address Louis recieving some targeted pyschotropic medical help.” 

Eric obviously appreciates the suggestion. “Perfect actually. We have a resident team of specialists but I’d prefer where ther is an ongoing relationship that we work together. Is he, was he, by chance been on any medication for anxiety or anything? We have no record of that on his chart.” 

“No. I had recommended he start some mild anti anxiety medication but he was resistant because of suspicions it might arouse if the medication were discovered.” 

What that means is clear to Harry. Louis was hiding the help he sought because he was afraid what questions would come up if Harry discover the anxiety medication. 

“Okay well then, Dr Janson, we should consult on this, but first I want to take Harry to see Louis. If you all don’t mind waiting here and I’ll be back in a minute. I know Harry must be anxious. Louis is heavily sedated so we have time to discuss what to do going forward. Excuse us, and I’ll be right back.” 

Dan is wandering back toward them. Eric has a hand on Harry guiding Harry. In passing Eric tells Dan he is taking Harry to see Louis and he’ll be back to update Dan momentarily. 

The way Eric pushes Harry on after putting Dan on hold basically has a feel of intent to it. Eric keeps one hand on Harry’s back. He reaches across himself to take Harry’s arm that’s closet to the space between them. It’s a very directed, gentle, private sort of leading like he’s got a secret. 

They get away from where there are more people in the hospital corridors coming to hallway area that’s fairly quiet. Here Eric lets go of Harry and gives up the reasoning for his separating Harry from Dan. 

“You remember my brother Mitch, right. The EMT? Well he moved back to London not too long after that whole thing with the abduction. It’s been nice having him here. It give our parents a second chance at acceptance, acceptance of him, for him and for themselves, though it’s still really hard for them despite that they are trying.” 

Eric stops. On the other side of the door at a room marked “patient recovery room 1022” Eric maintains direct eye contact as he continues on. It may still be one of the hardest things for me to think back about the time Louis came in back then following what his stepfather did to him. I’d never deal with that much, not a father and a son. At the time it was the hardest thing because I was thinking how ‘this could be my younger brother’. ‘No one should be treated like this, gay, straight, man, woman...child’. I mean it is a fact, Louis was abused for years by that man, that monster. I ask myself why does the world need any people capable of something like that. I remember thinking when I took care of Louis how fortunately something like that had never happened to my brother. Pretty sure I believed it never would either because you know, Mitch doesn’t skew stereotype. He’s a good looking kid, great build, all that. He seems like any other straight young man. But then it did. It happened. 

One night between Christmas and New Years Mitch was out twitch his new buddies here in London, other EMTs, firemen, the type of guys no one wants to mess with. Men’s men. When the group left the pub together they walked as a group. Little by little the group fragmented as people split off taking different routes home. When Mitch was walking all alone they came. Four of them. Came running from behind, took him down. Kicked and beat him. Drug Mitch into an alley, where they did more of the same. The whole time they said all the worst of things, names, accusations. Fortunately in his case, someone passing by heard them. Shouted, called the police while putting the light of his phone on them to make them scatter and something worse was averted.” 

Eric puts his hand on one of Harry’s shoulders. It’s the first Harry realizes he’s got shakes and tears in his eyes. “Harry, Mitch can handle himself. He’s a strong, highly trained guy. He gives off no signals about his sexual orientation. And for shear reason of stupidity he got targeted and beaten...being on duty the night my little brother was brought into my hospital is absolutely the worst thing I’ve expreinced. Worse for me than grappling with the even nastier suffering Louis experienced when I tended to him after his assault. It was probably good for me dealing with Mitch having been able to care for Louis. At least I think it made it a little easier. Hardest part was my anger. If I could, I find the people, the people who beat Mitch, the people who’ve hurt Louis this time, and I’d probably loose my license to ever care for another patient because I’d kill those men.” 

Harry and Eric embrace. Harry thanks Eric for sharing that afterward he admits, “I really feel the same. At this time I honestly want to go right back out there to Troy Visser, tell him enough with this ‘being an ambassador stuff’, take out Hathaway, I know he can, take out those two who is this to Louis, just do something to make the evil stop.” 

Both having confessed they stand with silence between them. Each reconciling their anger. Resigning their beliefs. It’s another minute passes before Eric chooses to conclude their confessions. 

“Well that feel better doesn’t it? Got that off our chests. Besides, we both know violence and hate just breeds violence and hate. Better go back to being part of the positive in the world. It’s the only way to defeat evil.” 

Eric turns, “Also better get back to Dr Janson to hear what he wants for Louis. By the way Harry, Louis is going to be out for a while. Would like to see what his psychiatrist has in mind because at some point he sort of woke unexpected. In the seconds before we could address his state of conscious he was sort of scary to try to assess. He’s very fragile. We are choosing to keep him sedated for now. I’ll send the others down in a little while but first give you some time alone together.” 

... 

Harry steps into he room. Louis seems small. He always does, but when he’s like this it’s so different. He’s more delicate and precious. Harry sits beside him taking a hand that pokes out from under the covers. 

Staring at the hand, Louis’ left hand, the hand on which there should be a ring by now, Harry talks as if Louis can hear what he is saying. “There is no trade to save me that is worth what that did to your psyche. Any time my past can come back to haunt me. I don’t care as long as I have you. I love you Louis Deakin Styles. Will you marry me?” 

***


	66. Chapter 66

Dan, Troy and Niall make their way into Louis’ room. Harry doesn’t look up from where he has his head resting, forehead down on the bed. In one of Harry’s hands he still holds one of Louis’. Troy suggests Dan take the only other open seat. Dan begins sending texts as Troy gently tries to explain where the plans stand to an obviously emotionally collapsed Harry.

“Drs Johnson and Janson are having some extended private conference about Louis. I’m sending a message to the family telling them that we should keep the tribe here small since it seems they won’t send Louis home as soon as tomorrow, not until things seem good with the meds they are putting him on. You should talk with Dr Janson as soon as you feel that you are up to it. Oh, and I have his private cell number, I’m sending it to you. He’s going to reveiw the information I gave him from the incident, he wants to get organized, then he would like to talk with you about some things you’ve experience with Louis. Would you say that is a good summation Dan?”

Dan stops texting. He was likely also telling the Deakin family to hold off on swarming to the hospital, answering their questions as he created them with his text. Harry looks up at him. Dan looks worse for the wear because of how the day unfolded though he calmly confirms what Troy tells Harry. Dan even tries to give Harry a reassuring smile. 

“That’s right. Like Troy said, you should talk with Dr Janson. I think he has a good idea, even without the entire transcript of the things the two punks said, about Louis, where Louis is mentally, why he was on some edge. For right now though you should get some rest, go home. We can stay here with Louis. You need to take care of yourself too. Louis is going to remain sedated as they start him on these new meds.”

Harry notices just then that Niall is also with them in the hospital room too. He’s kind of behind an open door to the bathroom. Niall and the other two all are nodding in agreement. Caringly. Harry must look a frightful mess for the poor disheveled Dan to be nominating himself to stay. 

Harry

Just

Can’t 

Leave. 

Can’t.

“I can’t go. I absolutely cannot go home or sleep. No. Can’t. But Niall would you mind doing a favor?”

Harry stands, takes Niall from the room into the hall where he quietly tells Niall what he needs. “Please go to the flat. In the top drawer of armoire that is in our bedroom closet is a ring. It’s the one with a rope boarder. Please bring it. Terribly important. Don’t stop to rescue any kittens along the way there or back. Just find the ring for me. Bring it back here with you, would you please.”

Neither Troy nor Dan seem phased when Harry returns to the room and upon seeing both are sitting in the only two chairs he decides to crawl onto the small bed with Louis. Harry sort of consumes it, Louis snuggled into his lanky form by an arm’s claim. Somehow Harry doesn’t realize he’s asleep until...

Harry smells Niall’s return before he sees him. Seems Niall is back with insanely aromatic food for Harry. Someone is whispering to Niall. It’s Liam. Harry peeks to see Liam is out of his hospital scrubs, like he is preparing to leave, his shift done. Niall has some food indeed and set on small table beside the bed with the food is the ring. Deliveries made of food and ring Niall and Liam leave quietly waving a goodbye to Troy and Dan.

Harry nevertheless waits until the two fathers decide to leave, perhaps thinking Harry is still asleep, before he moves to reach for the ring. Louis’ still exposed left hand provides Harry an opportunity to slide the ring on his finger. Nothing else to do Harry he eats the food Niall brought. It’s cold by the time he does so but it’s Harry’s favorite pub sandwich and chips. Once he’s done with the food Harry let’s himself lay back with Louis and sleep again.

***

Sounds of people wake Harry. Surprised, the nurses are discussing this, how it is that their patient has a guest in his bed. They are extraordinarily kind about it. Calling Harry “dear” and “sweetie”. Offering him a chair, they tell him they won’t be long, just a couple things, minor things to do for Louis, then they say that they will leave Harry and Louis be.

One however very astute nurse notices that Louis has a ring on his left hand that shouldn’t be there because of the policy of securing valuable personal affects at admission. “What do we have here? Our young Mr Tomlinson seems to be wearing something that should have been safely secured when he was admitted.”

The nurse starts to remove the ring. Harry jumps. “No!”

Realizing he’s shouting Harry softens his tone. “I mean, please no. He wasn’t wearing that when he came in. But he needs to have it on now, please. It’s very symbolic. Let him have it, please.”

There is some exchange between the nurses. Unspoken. One looks at the chart. She hands it to another. They seem to interpret something in the notes. They’ve started new meds Harry knows. Powerful meds like to suggest Louis is someone to be taken extra tender care for.

The nurse who was about to remove the ring steps to Harry patting him reassuringly. “Okay sweetie. Okay. If it makes you both feel better, we’ll let this pass. Now, do you want an extra blanket for yourself if you’re going to crawl back into that bed or are you okay as is?”

***

The following morning when Harry wakes it’s because Dr Peter Morgan, Liam’s young physician friend, who comes in with a nurse to assess Louis. 

He and the nurse take time with Louis. Peter tells Harry that Dr Johnson, assigned to Louis, and a psychiatrist are coming around later. He sends the nurse on her way before he takes a casual approach, sits and chats. Harry likes this friend Peter of Liam’s. Maybe it is because Harry is still so very grateful for the one time when Peter saw Louis. Or maybe it’s because Peter is so newly a resident doctor at the hospital that Harry hopes Peter will be more casually, unconstrined and open with himabout what alouos is recieving through an IV drip. Switching from something Peter was mindlessly saying warning Harry about the hospital food Harry boldly asks.

“Peter, I know they’ve started Louis on something. Something Dr Janson prescribed, but can you tell me what it is, what it’s for?”

Peter shifts uncomfortably. He looks at Louis. Rocks a bit. Looks at Harry. Harry knows his face is pleading for answers now.

“I could have one of the residents who is a psychiatric specialist explain, but there are two additional meds they are using aside from those for pain and sedation. One is common, I prescribe it a lot when patients have trauma where they have anxiety. But the big gun, the one I don’t know for sure, is used for a lot of things. PTSD, bipolar, schizophrenia or personality disassociation. It’s complex. They are delivering these as a titter. If you know my meaning? He’s gettting a changing dose of the one, the big one, like they are being cautious. And today they are pulling the sedation that has him asleep. So that’s all I can tell you. I honestly don’t know more. That psychiatrist Dr Janson, who prescribed this protocol, isn’t on our staff. I looked him up, asked the other doctors about him because I don’t know him and this case, Louis, is important to Liam, makes Louis very important to me so I was curious. All I found is how much Dr Janson is revered in his field. He wrote the book on several things, literally, like childhood sexual abuse and it’s role in a variety of conditions, disorders, victims defense mechanisms.”

Harry’s expression must show his devastation. Peter can’t know the role Harry thinks he plays in this latest twist in Louis’ life, but being sensitive to Liam’s friends troubles he tries to reassure. “Harry you must know Louis is in good hands. He’s got the best. The best doctor, you, friends. He’ll be okay. He probably should have been seeing this head-doctor guru from the moment he was freed from that hell. How you talked him into seeing Dr Janson I don’t know. I see on his chart that Dr Janson became Louis’ doctor in January. Liam, I remember when we all went out to celebrate on New Year’s Eve said you two weren't coming to join us lads because you were on some romantic holiday. I presume that means you got through to Louis on your trip, convinced Louis, convinced him to reach out for help. I’d say well done chap, well done.”

Harry feels sick as he lets the word “thanks”, thanks for the undeserved praise, slip from his lips. He’s glad when Peter gets a wave from a nurse suggesting he needs to join her to finish seeing otuher patients. He jumps to his feet, takes his tablet with his patient log in hand, “Oops, sorry, rounds to finish. Gotta go. Oh hey, two other things you should know so not to worry you. First, Louis is going to get more restless over the few hours. Sedation is dropping, but he has plenty of pain meds in his system so don’t worry that he’s hurting. He won’t be. Secondly, congrats. Nice ring on that finger so I guess it was romance and ceremony on the new year. Liam hasn’t said a thing about that but I understand, gay couples keep things down low, but congrats. You make as a beautiful a couple, gay or not, imaginable.”

The same nurse returns at that second giving the young doctor the death stare for his continued delay. Peter shirks his shoulders as he leaves. Harry immediately crawls back into Louis’ bed. As tight as he dare Harry holds Louis in his arms. He puts Louis’ adorned ring hand inside his, counts heart beats, watches breaths. Dozes.

... 

It’s decidedly more noisy in the hall outside Louis’ room as the day creeps into mid morning. Louis begins stirring. It’s slight at first. Then some sudden, but abbreviated moves. These moves themselves seem to cause Louis some duress. Harry’s worried it’s pain. He remembers what Peter said. He tries to consistently hold Louis’ left hand. Sometimes that becomes hard with the restlessness but if the hand slips away from Harry’s he lets Louis settle before he takes it back into his own hand again. Always Harry kisses over where the ring fits on finger, whispers sweetly that he loves him. 

As Louis becomes more restless Harry begins soothing him by talking softly, more of a repeatition of reassurances that Louis is safe, until finally some narrative takes over Harry and he makes a promise to Louis.

“You will always, and forever, going forward be safe. This ring on your finger, it’s a sign of our love, our commitment, that you are claimed and protected. No one can dare hurt you ever again. They will see this ring and know it’s a bond. You are mine. I am yours. So sleep peacefully sweet creature. You are safe.”

After a bit Louis doesn’t wake more but he begins a sort of sudden hyperventilating and thrashing like he’s fighting something in his sleep-state. The sudden transformation must signal nurse stations through the monitors because the change in Louis sends into the room a flurry of activity. Three nurses, two women one male rush to the bed. Harry is pushed aside. The male nurse gently, but firmly secures Louis so he doesn’t pull on the cords and tubes attached to him. No one seems to care that Harry is there, in seconds that follow Dr Johnson comes sprinting in. This is the first Harry has seen him since the day before but Eric seems undaunted by this chaos as he calmly says something to his crew about the meds Louis is on. No one acts fast enough to what Dr Johnson expects so he barks for a hypodermic, a pharmaceutical drawn into it that Harry doesn’t know the meaning of, pulls Louis’ arm, the one devoid of other IV infringements, to a position such that Eric administers something that has a near immediate effect of calm on Louis. 

Harry witnesses the unified sigh of relief that is sounded when everyone can take a normal breath. The reactivity of the patient diverted, nurses see to straightening out Louis’ mess of cords, tubes, blankets. One takes a cloth, wets it, does a little sponging over Louis’ face which is the first Harry notices Louis broke into a sweat though now he seems pale like he’s cold and quite disturbingly back to a deathly still. 

Eric addresses one nurse. “Clara, go see if doctor Janson has checked it yet this morning. He might be here somewhere but taking his time going over the night report on Louis. If he’s not, would you have someone call him. We have to adjust something soon. I don’t like that t h a t happened.”

The nurse, Clara, nods and departs. She is followed by the other female nurse as only the male nurse remains sort of dottingly tending to Louis as he is going through his checks of everything. As Eric stands there reading data, thinking, calculating, so intently trying to make sure all is right and confirmed Harry realizes Eric knows Harry is there but can’t afford the luxury of taking the time or consideration of giving Harry any assurances. He looks at the nurse once, gives a head nod to Harry’s direction and that’s all it takes for the young male nurse to take the initiative to explain something to Harry. 

“He’s okay now.” The nurse says to Harry. “Okay. And I know he’s small but I wasn’t hurting him when I restrained him, promise. You looked frightened. Don’t be. Go get yourself a drink or something, I’ll be here awhile with him. Get yourself a coffee, tea or something and I’ll stay here until you come back. Promise he’ll be okay.”

Harry goes for tea not because he wants to but because he wants Eric, their champion so many times now, to stop looking at damn numbers and explain what that was to him. What the hell, Harry is thinking. Where the hell is the brainiac Dr Janson? Why the hell did Dan and Troy leave telling everyone not to come!

Harry knows his underlying belief is that he is somehow responsible for all this. When walking down the corridor he relieved to see Zayn and Liam coming his way. Liam looks to have changed from the street clothes he left the hospital wearing earlier. Harry can imagine because of their laid-back vibe that they’ve come to the hospital following a fulfilling bout of sex. How they are in their own private little lovers-bliss is a place he wants he and Louis to be. Instead of resentment seeing them so happy together he is only grateful to see them. Going to them he embraces them both, allowing himself to cry.

“Just now, a few minutes ago, or, um more Louis became this...I don’t know what it was, but he was...” Harry can’t define it so his attempt trails off. 

Liam pulls free of the embrace while marking sure that Zayn has a hold on thief sobbing Harry, “Harry, shh, it’s okay. Don’t try to explain. Who’s in their now? Eric? Look, I’ll go find out. Zayn, get Harry a chamomile, a smoke, or something. You both wait around here someplace. I’ll be right back.”

Zayn pulls out a cigarette offering it to Harry. 

“Zayn, this is a hospital.” Harry says as he uses his sleeve to wipe his face.

“So?” Zayn says as he lights up a second cigarette that he has put bewteen his own lips.

“And I don’t smoke.” Harry points out.

“Lad, today you should start. Have you seen yourself? You’re a mess. So tea? How ‘bout we get you some of this fine hospital tea then, a nice chamomile.”

Zayn takes Harry in tow. They pass several nurses who look hard at the cigarette Zayn is smoking but then blush at Zayn who winks at them until finally he passes the one stern, brick and mortar built nurse who busts him for the cigarette snapping it from his lips, telling him there are sick people here and “those things will kill you”.

Zayn says “Sorry, you’re right.”

Harry mutters. “Zayn you can be such a wanker.”

“Yes Harry. But let’s see about that tea, shall we?”

***

Liam finds them in a lounge Harry sipping tea, Zayn playing with an unlit cigarette, Liam gives Harry the “come with me” wave. 

“Okay so Janson is in there now with Eric. They are going to change all the doses on medications. They hope that slows Louis waking to have him gain a more cognitive grasp. He might have been waking too quickly, mentally being back in that flat, fighting. They want to know if you’re up for this, to help, to come back tot he room. The next time when they drop the sedatives they want you to be there talking to him. You okay with that?”

“Of course I am Liam, but I was talking to him the first time! I was! It didn’t matter it was still like I wasn’t there!”

Liam’s arms embrace Harry. “Harry, I get that. But this time they’ll be there too. They want to try to pull back the sedatives again. It’s a tiny line to find perfection in this chemistry. And Louis’ body has been through a lot. He’s kind of hyper-reacting to things. I mean that’s the least-sciency way for me to say it.”

Harry understands. Sort of. All he knows it that he wants to be there for Louis.

As Liam walks him back, Zayn shuffling around sort of finding conversation with one of the nurses who passed him with lit cigarette in mouth only reacting in the way of a blush for recieving a Zayn Malik wink, Liam says to Harry off subject for purpose of distraction. “I find in amusing how he flirts with them, pretty women. They always blush, giggle, behave like they haven’t a clue he means nothing in his flirtations. But then I know down deep Zayn is very bi. I think I keep him satisfied, but he is complicated. And moody. And he smokes too much. And did I mention H E is moody?”

Harry almost feels a laugh over that. He’s going to comment something like ‘why are they together then’ when a nurse coming from Louis’ room is seen sliding a small shining thing into a small plastic bad. Harry stops, grabs her arm, snatches the bag. Inside it is the ring. She’s caught of guard, Liam too, Harry snaps, “No! That is not to leave his finger! You don’t understand! He needs to wear it!”

Liam stops the nurse from making her explanation. She knows Liam, that is clear, “Sorry, Nancy. We need that ring back, it’s been a trying time for him, it’s important.”

The woman leaves the ring and Harry to Liam as Liam walks Harry into the room sort of whispering in Harry’s ear as an arm guides him. “Harry she was just doing her job. You sure you are okay with this? You seem intense for you.”

Harry enters Louis room to what is anticipation on the faces of the two doctors and two nurses now in Louis’ room who are preparing to dropping the sedative levels while monitoring Louis closely.

“I do Liam.” Harry says in a deep voice his tone that of conviction, inner perseverance. “I do. I just don’t want anyone to take this ring from Louis ever again.”

***

As Louis begins to twitch a little, small sighs of waking, Harry has in his mind well-preached instructions from Dr Janson. “Whatever you do, speak to Louis calmly, keep talking to him, even if their distracting things going on around you, or he’s reacting diffent than you expect. Just keep your voice calm, keep talking to him.”

Harry takes a deep breath, looking at Louis’ left hand, ring on his finger for strength. He is standing so he’s out of the medical team’s way but extremely close. The male nurse who restrained Louis is poised to help. Liam remains in the room too, though he’s still in his street clothes, he’s encorporated into the effort.

Louis stirs more Janson tells Harry to start taking, “reassuringly”. 

Suddenly Harry can’t think of a word. He sort of is hit by an almost ocpverwhelming urge to cry, ask for forgiveness but he’s thinking of how Dr Janson said, be calm and reassuring. So why can’t Harry think? 

As Louis starts to writhe a bit more the sounds of instruments in the room indicate heart rate increase, breathing more rapid, Louis descending into an imaginary hell, Janson says in an odd bookish voice, “Say something now Harry, let him hear you.”

Harry tries, “Louis, stay with me. Stay with me. Don’t go there, stay here Louis with me, you’re safe, you’re here with me.”

Around Harry exchange between Eric and Janson indicates Louis’ in a mixed-conscious level experiences heightening panic. Janson tells Harry keep talking.

Harry pushes a nurse aside and takes an odd approach. He literally climbs onto the bed, both his legs set on the bed to either side of Louis so that Harry straddles Louis like a bridge positioned over Louis. The only contact Harry makes with Louis is hands on either side of Louis’ face while he looks down from his towering place at a more and more distraught, restless Louis. 

Harry repeats, “Louis I want you to stay with me, here with me, no dark places...” 

A nervousness comes over Harry. He takes Louis’ hand, the left, looks at the rope on the ring, kisses the finger in which the ring rests holding it as he tries to reach Louis, “Louis you are my home, when we are apart being away from you pulls on me like a rope, a rope bring me home, home to you. Come to me, push everything else away, with me you are home.” 

Putting down Louis’ hand softly at his side Harry bends down from his unconventional stance to softly press his lips on Louis’. If anyone doesn’t like Harry’s odd approach it’s not indicated, not even when Harry takes advantage of Louis’ lips parted so little as to let his tongue enter, letting his kiss deepen. Conjuring words is a loss for Harry so why not this as he and Louis together are physical beings. It’s been that way from the beginning, first brought together by some immediate physical attraction, then put together in Hathaway’s bizarre manipulation only to inherit each other more or less; two broken people put together by loss, fate, misfortune. 

Harry pulls back when he feels a saenation of some subtle change in Louis. It’s not Louis giving to him, but it’s not Louis being a void. He looks into what is the sea, cerulean blue looking into his searching eyes. 

Painfully soft his name leaves Louis’ lips, “Harreh”. Louis has a disjointed sort of breathing. He’s shaking. But his blinking eyes are open seeing into Harry’s like what is there is the often described lens into the soul, Harry’s soul. 

Louis awake Eric and the nurse act together assist Harry to dismount from his perch by pulling Harry up and off Louis. Louis tracks Harry’s shift like he can’t let go of the tie to the sight of Harry’s eyes. The two stay each other’s focus as Eric and the team assess where Louis’ vitals stand. It’s seems a clam is descending over the team. Louis is awake, not in a struggle with his demons. Harry takes ahold of Louis’ hand. Again it’s the left and he kisses the fingers making his lips touch centered over the adorned finger. He’s not sure if Louis is feeling the ring there. It’s of no consequence. That can be something for later. 

“What is that?” Louis asks feeling the ring, Harry’s attention to it directing Louis to it. 

“You’ve worn this before Louis. In Paris. Paris where I was going for my hundredth attempt to put it on your finger and ask for you to marry me, something I began trying to do on your birthday. Soren beat me to my chance by proposing to Lottie. Pretty much every time since I’ve meant to ask something happened. So now in the worst possible place, with no privacy, both of us looking a mess, I to ask you to be mine forever. This ring, only to come off if for some reason you no longer want me.” 

Louis begins crying. His hand goes over his eyes hiding his face. It’s tough seeing the shaking hand, it bears some bruises that until now Harry has sort of overlooked as they weren’t the most substantial. 

Softly in a voice broken and stained Louis say, “I can’t do that...” 

*** 

Dan and Patti were with Louis when Dr Janson took Harry down the hall to a room near Louis where Eric arranged them to have some privacy to talk together alone now that Louis is back asleep, the sleep a natural exhaustion, not an induced sedation. 

The three of them had come into the hospital room on the heel of Harry’s proposal with Louis having just said he couldn’t marry Harry. This made everyone, even the not personally involved nursing team stand silenced, breaths held. The “can’t” Louis explained. He wasn’t deserving, he was only going to cause Harry pain, he was too “fucked-up”, Harry deserved better, who would ever want him, or trust him, or, or, or. 

It didn’t matter what Louis said was why they can’t marry. Harry accepted no denial, calmly telling Louis how he is perfect exactly as he is, messed up or not. Harry made a long list of all the ways Louis was his ideal. In Harry’s list never did he say Louis was beautiful, or sexy, or anything about his looks except for one comment about Louis having “a nice smile”. Indeed it was the smile that got Harry. The very first time Louis gave him “that smile” the room was spinning. Harry remembers it like yesterday. Standing in Payne’s their eyes met and That Smile. The way the smile made Harry feel back then launched all of this. Every thing Harry said about Louis, except for his smile, was a list of character traits that Harry loves; he loves that Louis is funny, he loves that Louis is a nice person, easy to talk to. Harry even says it’s one of his favorite things to just sit and admire what Louis is like, how he can be brash and brutally competitive with the footballers, then completely sweet, playful and silly with children. By the time Harry finished his ode to All Thing Lovely About Louis he had most the room in tears and Louis promising to become his for life. 

When the room returns to a less strained population of witnesses, the doctor and nurses finished, Louis is again tired, fatigue coming easily Eric explains to Louis and Harry because he’s still got a lot of drugs in his system that his body is adjusting to, adding to that there is this emotional rollercoaster. Dr Janson is very kind in his approach stepping in to peel Harry, proposal accepted, away from Louis with the comfort of knowing Patti and Troy are there. Harry understands. He and Dr Janson need to have a conversation. 

Walking through the hall Harry is sure the doctor needs to learn much from Harry but rather than pepper Harry with questions he does something unexpected. 

“Harry, what would you like to ask me? Let’s start with how you are doing. It must be a shock to have Louis act so erratically, even with something so wonderful as commitment to marriage. So tell me if you want, before we discuss Louis, how are you doing?” 

Harry is astonished. “How am I doing? How do you think I’m doing!” Harry catches himself being confused and angry. He understand the opening was meant to allow him to put to rest his fears but he’s confused. 

Harry runs his hands through the entire length of his long hair taking it back, twisting it, knotting it into a bun-like ponytail. 

“I don’t understand what was happening to him. I thought the idea is you’re some expert and you had all the best therapies n’such. What went wrong? Why was he so, so, so whatever that was?” 

The older man moves slowly to sit down when they come to a private place where Eric suggest they talk. Harry gets an idea that the slowness of movement is deliberative, meant to take down the energy and volatility that this practiced scholar knows is driving Harry’s disposition. Harry resigns himself to dial back his frustration, fear and confusion and join the doctor in sitting. 

“Harry. When Louis first came to me. Mrs Visser bringing him, he was so over-wrought that he was trembling. Shy. Barely able to speak. We sat. Mrs Visser too, for nearly an hour with Louis saying nothing. Me waiting. Mr Visser said she’d need to make a call and dismissed herself. Mind you when they came into my office Louis had made it very clear he wanted her there, but then when she left he caved in, appearing unable to keep himself strong without the support of someone he respects. 

“He first told name he wasn’t sure why he was there. Maybe it was a mistake. He then asked me what I thought about good and evil. He next said something that surprised me. This lad of no more than eitghteen took excerpts word for word from many of my past research papers, quoted them to me, challenged me to defend the ideas in them. He was almost combative, this lad, initially too scared to talk or even make eye contact. But something snapppd in him and he drove on hard with these challenging questions. 

“At that moment I knew I was dealing with a very smart, very troubled, very desperate young man. One who knew he was in trouble and only wanted hope. Are we innately good? Are we born bad or as he said ‘damaged’? Can we make choices? Are we determined at birth? 

I decided I wanted to meet with him everyday for a week, sometimes for several hours, because I knew immediatley what was going to come out of him was so long surprises and he was so vulnerable and maybe a bit of a threat to himself. It was fascinating and bizarre how well he’d studied my work. In part this was an indicator that he had come to a turning point. He was a person of a precipice. Of what I don’t know. I’d would have to open a door and hope he could tell me before something terrible happened.” 

The doctor leans into Harry. He puts a hand on Harry’s forearm to make an emphasis. “Then it did. It took four days of more philosophical talking around the reason for him coming to see me but on the fifth day he said something happened on a holiday. He described it by saying he felt he’d stepped into some other world. He said something, something like ‘before Paris The Other was external. It was That Person was some Other Person. Now the other is internal. The person I Am is some Other Person.” 

That said both psychiatrist and Harry take a moment to absorb its ramifications. 

Harry asks, chills going through him, ”What does that mean?” 

“I understand Louis’ implications in his describtion because I know the body of work of mine that drew him to seeking my help. What he chose to talk about after a brief review of his horrifying childhood abuse, which he didn’t want to delve into, was how he feared he’d lost control of himself. Or maybe he misjudged himself, perhaps he did have a twisted monster within. So while he wanted to push back on what had been beaten, literally, as I understand it, into him, that he was the evil, his experience in Paris made him doubt for the first time. He began to wonder if the monster within him theory wasn’t perhaps actually true. 

What I’m trying to tell you Harry is very complicated but it’s like this. When the stepfather who molested him, Louis’ defense when that was happening was pretending it was his boyfriend, not his father. That was a shield, an alternate reality he contradicted. He knew it was pretend but it lessen the severity. In the recent abscence of being able to do that Louis allowed himself to slip into believing, as his molester had proclaimed, The One who made the acts of deviancy, immortality happen.” 

Every neuron in Harry’s brain is trying to grasp. He knows Louis used an external “Other” to replace Hathaway at times when Hathaway raped him as a way of self defense. It’s why for a time Louis became more pleasing to Hathaway and in turn less frequently beaten an assaulted when his father needed him for pleasur. Indeed, Harry has participated in this exercise of defense during assault by conjuring a fantasy. If Louis could imagine his body filled with Aiden, he could behave to daddy’s liking. Harry replaced Aiden. Always there was this Other, external, that allowed Louis to endure. 

So who is the internal Other? How did Internal Other form? 

“Who is the, what did you say some other? I don’t understand.” Harry says his chills growing making him aware he is now the trembling one. 

“Harry my work with children who experenced abuse, particaulry sexual abuse, focuses much on the underlying consequences. For many children the scars that go into adulthood include the obvious, fear of relationships, attention problems, anxiety, difficulty with trust in even simple societal interactions, depression, so on. For some children though they masks the damage in a unique way. For some they create an anternate reality. Like what Louis told me in sessions that he did. In his words, he only pretended. When suffering the abuse of his step father, he would pretend it wasn’t his father. In that way he could endure, maybe even effect a more positive outcome if his step father felt he was complying, placant, accepting. 

But it took a toll. In Paris Louis could not longer pretend someone other than you was the person he would want. Without his standard defense he became drawn back into what his step father had said over the years. Suddenly Louis was convinced he had been deceiving only himself and that some part of him was the siren. He used that word, siren. 

When Louis decided to come see me for treatment he eventually described to me an act, him and, well let’s just say what he describes is when a person has two distinct identities. It was rudimentary, like this was recently a very new manifestation. However it seems to be something he repeated during the the incident that happen the other night. What Mr Visser documented from the testimony of the aggressors was to a word a transcript of two different people being in Louis’ mind in alternating succession while he was with the people who assaulted him. It’s striking actually how clear it is the way Louis moved in and out of two personifications when with them. The one Louis, yours, fighting them. The Other almost taunting them because he causes men to want him. It’s totally, tradgically evidence that trauma of a certain nature can fragment someone so, where there was one person, their mind can spilt them into two. The medications we are using, it’s to treat Louis. To hopefully take away the chemistry his stress is putting on his natural biology in hopes to stop a progression that could result, likely would result without treatment, in a Louis who is the one you know and one who has been created.”

***


	67. Chapter 67

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Louis leaves the hospital. Harry has a few surprises.  
> ***

Harry had Louis dressed and ready to go well before Dr Janson showed up to talk with Louis before Louis is to be released. 

Louis is searing in dark jeans, a grayish-lavender cashmere jumper and a berry colored beanie when Janson arrives. Only Louis’ feet remained undressed as Harry leaves the room so doctor and patient can talk alone “only a brief chat”, doctor Janson assures Harry as he requests the privacy with Louis. 

Harry steps from the room he taking one quick glance back at Louis. 

Louis looks like a child, his feet dangling from the bed, kicking in a nervous pattern. Louis’ fringe is messy the way it pokes out randomly from under his beanie. Louis is pulling his sleeves down so he has sweater paws. Even though the doctor is a smallish, bookish man Louis looks a little nervous.

Harry knows why. The doctor is going to suggest Louis get on with telling Harry what he intended to share the night that Louis was plucked off the street by Cal and his flatmate. The doctor had already told Harry that he was going to be encouraging this when he and Harry spoke in brief privacy prior to the decision by Dr Johnson to release Louis today.

While Harry waits in the hall just down from Louis’ room thee sound of Eric’s voice calls his name. 

“Harry! All set to go are we?” Eric says coming to Harry with a warm smile and a welcoming pat on the shoulder. “All is paper work is signed accept for what I have here. I wanted to go over these instructions personally before having Louis sign off on regarding the discharge instructions. Here, I’m also giving you several days of his meds so you have time to get these prescriptions filled without a rush to do that today. Like we discussed about the meds last night just look for any of the side effects, if they occur call me or Dr Janson immediately. I don’t think that will happen, we’ve got his dose well defined now, just keep him on a schedule with these, don’t let him skip them, have him take them the same time of day. Also. About sex. He’s fine to resume activity. I know for it’s got to be a mountain of emotions that you both are going to have to work through. I’d say when it comes to what to do, if you think you should or not, just remember to trust your instincts. Listen to your heart. Physically he’s going to be fine. Any questions?”

Harry wants to hug Eric. Clarvoyent, Eric says to him, opening arms, “Come here you, give me a hug.”

“Thank you,” Harry manages to say. “Thank you for everything. For taking such good care of Louis and understanding all of this.”

Seeing Dr Janson has left the room, Eric says, “My pleasure Harry. You and Louis are both really good people. Sometimes bad things happen. Nobody deserves what the two of you have experienced. I’m sure in time, with Janson’s help, stability of supporting each other, that you will find your happily ever after.”

Eric takes his clipboard of release papers going into the room Janson vacated while Janson comes to Harry’s side. “Louis is good to go. Dr Johnson went over the precautions?”

“Yes. Yes he did. So now we just come to see you for the appointment in a couple days and that’s it?”

“Yes, that and listen to your heart with Louis, When you get home try not to be nervous with him or treat him differently.”

“Eric said the same thing, instincts, listen to my instincts, instincts or my heart, the same thing really. And where you able to contact the university regarding all the classes Louis has missed? I tried to call his professors when I checked in with mine yesterday morning but they wanted a doctors verification, didn’t have authority to speak with me because you know, we’re not family?”

“Yes Harry I have, earlier today spoke to the last of his professors. Louis is clear, whenever he is ready he’ll be allowed to make up work. The Professor of Mathematics, a Dr McCoy, was most alarmed to learn there was some improprieties. He’ll be wanting to see all the work Louis received the poor marks for during the teaching assistant’s tenure. And by the way Harry if you need any help with being excused from missed work in your own classes by your professors please contact me. They should make allowance when you have family with medical issues. That’s how we’re treating this, no different to the school than if a person missed for cancer treatment. Medical challenges effect the family, not just the patient.”

On subject of family, on cue Dan comes to join Harry and Dr Janson. Dan returns keys to Harry and Louis, their flat he and the girls have been preparing for the homecoming promising Harry it will be clean, stocked with food and set for he and Louis to get settled without needing to leave for anything until they deem themselves ready after this ordeal. 

Dan looks so much better than he had on the eve they took Louis from his abusers. It seems like he’s been able to put aside some of the challenges of being at the scene of his son’s assault. As he greets the doctor, a question, could he come meet with the doctor sometime just to learn more about what this is Louis is suffering from. Harry let’s them talk, wandering back to Louis’ room where Eric has finished up. Released papers all signed, Eric sitting in a chair handing Louis his socks and shoes like he’s the hand-maid while they are casually talking about football like all this is ordinary.

Louis brightens when he sees Harry. 

“All set are we then?”

“Yes” Louis says as he slips off the bed having taken Harry’s hand, Harry guiding him to sit in a wheelchair as standard for taking patients to hospital exit. 

Dan walks with Harry as he wheels Louis to an exit. At the exit they part, Harry and Louis taking a ride Harry hailed despite Dan’s wish to see them all the way home. 

Harry has a few stops to make on their way home he tells Dan dismissing queries from Louis and Dan as to what essential stops are for.

***

Dropped off a few minutes drive from the hospital complex Harry takes a turn in the maze of streets in central London pulling Louis by the hand to enter a government office building taking an elevator to a floor where the offices are identified as the public service for processing “Certifcates of Birth and Licenses for Marriage”. Louis looks trepidacious. 

“What is this?” Louis says stopping cold.

“What do you think? This is where you get a marriage license, of course. We’ll need one of those.”

“Wha....”

***

Many seemingly eternally, long minutes later Harry pulling Louis gently in one hand holds a piece of official paper all certified and stamped, ready to use stating they are legitimately cleared for marriage. 

As they leave this towering building of all things official Louis is pulling back from Harry a bit, squirming, being mildly less than commital. 

“Harry wait, wait. What are we doing?”

“I think it’s perfectly clear don’t you?”

“No. It’s not. I don’t think you’ve thought this through. There are things...”

Louis stops. What he might have wanted to say he might be measuring now if the words are the right ones. Harry’s proposal was first met with the “I can’t” but Harry succeeded in getting the concession. Now faced with the legal permit it’s another hurdle. Louis looks doubtful again. 

Harry senses a desperation. His. Louis’.

Then behind them, so insignificant when they passed that Harry never gave it a thought, was a street vendor who was fighting the struggles of selling fresh flowers in abismal London winter weather. Without hestiation Harry tells Louis to wait, runs over to the pathical looking vendor. He buys a rose. One rose. He gives the poor young vendor enough cash to proably pay for twenty roses. 

Running back to Louis Harry puts the rose between his teeth, one knee on the pavement, taking Louis’ hands in his speaking through his stem-clenching teeth he asks, “Louis William Tomlinson will you marry me?”

Louis pulls his hands from Harry’s. In that split second Harry’s world is on the precipice of caving in...

...until the softest, most delicate feather-soft touch of fingertips to side of his face restores their connection.

It’s only a few seconds before Louis withdraws one hand, putting it over his mouth, and though his eyes close Harry out his heart does not. 

“Yes Harry Edward Styles. I will marry you.”

“Okay great!” Harry’s says jumping to his feet. “Come with me then, we have an appointment.” 

Harry grabs Louis by one hand and tugs him along as they weave through a thicker pedestrian crowd once they make a turn to the courthouse. As they approach Louis gives resistance, pulling his hand free once more. Looking past Harry giving Harry reason to follow his gaze, Harry finds the thing of Louis’ interest. 

As Harry requested there stand three good friends. Brothers almost. Liam, Zayn and Niall, all wearing finely tailored suits, each with a boutinère on their lapel, stand waiting half way up the courthouse steps. Liam has a box in his hand. A florist’s label on top. Inside it one could only fit something as small as additional boutinères. 

“What is this?” Louis asks. 

“Quickie marriage, at the courthouse, witnesses... you don’t think after letting Soren beat me to the perfect timing of romantic proposal the first time that I’m going to let his and Lottie’s big wedding planning stand in the way of us marrying? I took the ring with me everywhere after that took precedence over my intended one, even took it to Paris, as you know. Took it with us to hopefully make a new approach to asking you and yet it seemed every time I tried harder to propose things fell apart. Before you go back to classes, before another day passes I want to strip that Tomlinson-name from you and put all the abuse behind us. I want you from this day going forward for you to know that are loved, for everyone who sees you to know you are taken. I want no shadow of doubt that you are mine. The lads are here to bear witness. Later, when things settle, we can have a nice party or a big ceremony, whatever you want. Today though. Today you need to be mine for eternity. Me yours.”

Seeing Louis burst into tears has the lads running to his and Harry’s side. He’s just happy Louis says. A little emotional he says. It might be the pills, he says.

***

It’s a few hours later when Louis is carried over the threshold of their sparkling clean flat by Harry.

After their short legal ceremony they went to Payne’s. The five of them enjoyed a specially prepared menu planned by Liam made just exclusively as Harry selected favorites of Louis’. Many courses later, maybe too much champagne too for everyone except Louis who’s drinking Harry is monitoring closely with the new meds being a consideration, they have desert. By the time they have finished a lovely little cake made for six decorated with pink and blue hearts on a rich buttercream icing Louis looks to have hit a wall of exhaustion. Harry takes him home.

Once through the door Harry heads right to the bedroom putting Louis on the bed. He sprints back to close the front door their flat. As he returns to Louis while noting how their flat is decorated with numerous fresh bouquets he grabs a long stemmed flower to once again place between his teeth mimicking what he did earlier streetside. 

Louis who is laying exactly where Harry sat him looks even more tired than when they left Payne’s but happy. He giggles as Harry crawls up the bed toward him. Louis is shoeless but otherwise still dressed. Harry has the flower between his teeth and a playful gleam in his eyes. 

“So do we consummate our relationship now?” Louis asks. His hand goes to push against the front of his own jeans suggesting there is an anticipation stirring in his crotch. 

“Oh I think that might be in order...” 

Harry dropped the flower when he spoke. He’s crawled over Louis, Louis between his arms and legs, sliding down to lay flat under Harry. 

Harry remains in his place over Louis only letting their lips be what touches as he begins kissing Louis who is quick to put hands on Harry, feeling over him while accepting Harry into his mouth. 

When Louis tugs on some piece of Harry’s clothing they break their kiss so that they can work together to remove a single piece of Harry’s clothing between resumed kisses. Soon Harry is nude, still bridging over Louis who remains in most of his clothes except for the bare feet. When Louis says “please” because his fingers find the closure on his jeans fussy it takes only a matter of seconds before Louis too is naked, Harry dispatching his clothing in quick order. Once Louis is fully undressed Harry stops to pause to inspect Louis. 

Louis looks beautiful. But there are bruises still. Eric said it was okay to resume sex so this should be okay but the bruises make Harry pause. 

Louis looks bashful as he reads Harry’s face for cues. One hand plays with his dick which has a semi while he studies Harry. 

“Are you sure about this?” Harry asks. His body normally craves Louis’ and yet now he’s totally limp, emasculated by the violating marks of another on what is his lover that Harry still feels he bears responsibility for. 

“I’m completely sure, hundred percent.” Putting a hand on Harry to pull him down Louis brings Harry to bend back toward him so they can kiss. While deeply plunging his tongue into Harry’s mouth his other hand finds Harry’s dick and gives it a few tugs. Instantly Harry’s got an erection forming. They kiss like this for several minutes, Louis with one hand on Harry’s dick, another on the back of Harry’s neck keeping Harry close while Harry takes a position straddling over Louis. 

Louis whines his desire through their kiss. “Want your hands on me,” he says which makes Harry pull back, take the flower and promote his own agenda. 

“But you still look so... I don’t know how to say it, destroyed.” Harry takes the flower, holding it by the base of it so it’s petaled head is extended beyond his hand two feet by the length of the stem. “Only something a soft as a snowflake, a butterfly or a petal of a flower should touch your skin, you look so precious.” 

As Harry states this he touches Louis over a set of bruises with the flower brushing delicately under Louis’ chin on his neck where a series of bruises make a line pattern that one can imagine was because of a hand choking Louis. 

The affect is immediate. Goosebumps rise, Louis’ cock stiffens, he makes a small gasp. Harry moves the flower to another bruised area, making a sweep of feather-soft petal touch dance over a nipple as he goes for brushing over the bruise that is clearly a reminant of a bite mark probably made by one of the men ravaging Louis and indulging in making him nearly bleed. 

Harry has made similar such marks on Louis before. He’s never made one so angry looking. It also takes makes Harry’s stomach turn to think of the pain this must have caused but Louis wiggles such that Harry stays in this moment and pushes that destructive image clouding his thoughts aside. He makes a couple runs down the entire length of each arm with the long stemmed flower, one arm after the other because Louis had so many bruises on them, a sign of his resistance and occasional bondage. 

And then there is that soft poof of belly, just below Louis’ belly button. The one place that always seem to have a little extra fullness to it even though Louis is mostly thinly muscled, every muscle very defined, shapely with the curvy places of Louis’ body contrasting his muscle tissue by the presence of his uncannily, sculpted bone structure. His collarbones, his rib cage and the points of his pelvis are always such a paradox to his soft places. It’s the pelvis bone where Harry’s flower runs across next eliciting more gasping, rapid breaths and a body wanting to writhe under Harry’s seductive torture, Louis’ cock stiffening, revealing that he wants this so very much. 

Harry wants to slide down and settle between Louis’ legs so he can play but seeing the way Louis is staring into him, not at him, but into him, makes him afraid. Still he move to position himself so. Breaking off the flower head from the length of the stem so it’s easier to work with in close proximity Harry settles on his belly between Louis’ spread legs and picks spots to tease with the flower tickling the inside of Louis’ thighs. Louis’ hands take turns one plays with a bit of Harry’s hair that he can just reach, one takes hold of the sheets under him to grip. It’s clear his hand needs to stay away from touching himself or this forpay will have him coming. He expresses this concern in a slightly sharp, demanding tone. 

“You going to take all day? I don’t think I can take much more of this?” 

“Can you just not? I’m an artist, you know. I haven’t spent my life doing a study of sexual pleasure so to as to fail with my husband on our wedding night.” 

It’s sheer delight that Harry’s stroke up the underside of Louis’ cock with the flower petals has his slit expelling a bead of precum. 

Harry whisks the bead away from flesh taking it off with the flower. Harry pops up into view then so to make sure Louis who made a noise of “grumfff” in protest at the sensation, delightful yet not what he wanted, can see as Harry proceeds to lick the bead of precum off the flower before engulfing the majority of the flower as he makes a muted “umm” sound while he sucks the residue from the soiled flower. 

“You did not.” Louis manages to say, some playful dismay in his voice. 

“I did. He’s I did that. But you know Sweet Cheeks, I’ve seen a far prettier flower. Better tasting too...roll over.” 

A tiny squeal of delight escapes Louis as he skillfully shifts over to face down without kicking Harry. Louis immediatley gets himself the perfect degree of prone, tilted, legs spread. His hands go to his bottom, he spreads his cheeks for Harry anxieous for more. 

Harry is perfectly content with this. 

Louis’ back side has its own complement of extensive bruises. Seeing them Harry realizes how he wouldn’t be entirely comfortable with playing with Louis’ bum which normally he can’t help but fondle and squeeze. 

Harry touches skin close beside Louis’ flower entrance with the now maimed botanical flower so Louis knows the two ‘flowers’ are side by side. Of Louis body Harry says “Yes, yes, this one here is far prettier,” Harry says tossing the actual flower aside as he takes a couple licks over Louis’ tight, entrance. 

“Umm,” Harry says lapping a few times in kitten licks. 

“Umm yes,” Harry says after he used the tip of his tongue and his pursed lips together to do a small sucking gesture on the pink radial tissue to torment, “yes indeed. Taste better too.” 

To that end Harry dives into licking and sucking, tongue prodding making Louis whine as Harry eats Louis out. He takes his time introducing a finger. To deliberately torment a begging Louis Harry puts only the first digit of his index finger into Louis preferring to be almost sadistic in the way he solely focuses on simulating the rim. 

He could tell Louis that he sort of wants to certify for himself, Eric’s assurances aside, that Louis has not tiny scars, but Harry doesn’t. He fears anymore mention of the recent assault will spoil the homecoming. Instead he takes the scolding that Louis dishes out for being a “wanker” and not “getting on with the “dicking” and tries to be gentle with Louis and cautious for signs of discomfort. 

By the time Harry has finally worked the entire length of two fingers into Louis such that the stimulation is enough for Louis that has Harry to battle to establish a line line of engaging scissoring to prepare Louis while avoiding bring Louis to orgasm on his fingers. Basically Harry has to stop all movement frequently. And endure being filthily scolded for it. Scolded again as his inserted fingers repeatedly come to be stilled as he tries to explain to Louis to calm or he will come too quick. Meanwhile another hand soothingly rubs over arse so as to also help to settle his boy because Louis repeatedly states that he “just wants to be fucked”. 

By the time Harry starts his first slow penetrations Louis is extremely hard to put off; Harry almost has to constantly use a hand to push down on Louis’ backside, to pin him still, otherwise without Harry’s restraint Louis will begin moving his pelvis to powerbotton, full-on fucking himself on Harry like Harry is nothing more than his toy. 

It’s takes Harry by surprise a couple times when Louis gets away from him. Perhaps it is the sweat on Louis’ back that lets Harry’s restraining hand slip and when Louis undulates his body taking over to impale himself with Harry such that it’s an intense force that spins Harry’s sensory world. The attempts to be soft and slow as to stay mindfull and gentle with Louis are challenged by how Louis’ actions to overtake the gentle pace Harry wants, Louis creating an edging effect on Harry. Harry’s sure he could be content to do this for eternity. 

Until. Unexpectedly. Uncontrollably. Harry can’t. He comes unraveled. It’s hits him so hard that his hamstrings seize, he’s getting off deep in Louis’ body, punishingly so, but neither the pain of the cramping in his legs nor the fear of hurting Louis stop him from pounding with brutal force throughout his entire orgasm. 

Harry goes down on the bed in a heap beside Louis the instant his body frees him from the orgasm. In that instant he sees, vision once blurred restored, he had Louis heavily pushed into the bed under them, perhaps constraining breathing. But pulling Louis over Harry is relieved to see his boy is breathing, though he’s listless and a little too quiet, but once Harry has him to his chest, Louis head tucked under his chin, Louis’ face on Harry’s chest, Louis gives out a big sigh like he’s contented by the pounding not broken. 

Softly, like maybe Louis had been screaming into the bed, perhaps Harry’s sensory-abduction during his orgasm also included muting of auditory information, Louis speaks in a raspy, sex-wrecked voice, “so that’s what I’m talking about. Some kind of Sex God you are. Some kind of God.” 

***


	68. Performance Piece

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Any descent Sex God should have a crown.” Louis says as the newlyweds continue making love.  
> ***

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes this is quite short but I wanted to say thanks for all the times you were patient about long waits for new passages and get you ready for the next bit.  
> ***

Harry realizes that Louis is awake when he feels the wet heat.

Louis is sucking his cock. It’s fortunate he’s been to the bathroom sometime midnight or this wouldn’t be so good but as it is waking to Louis making him aroused is perfect. Palming Harry’s balls Louis pulls off, “morning”, he says before sinking again on Harry’s now nearly fully erect cock.

Harry gets an additional surprise.

On Louis’ head he’s wearing some sort of flower crown. He must have braided together some long stemmed flowers from the bouquets before walking Harry. Heaven knows they have enough flowers throughout their flat that thinning a few arrangements doesn’t diminish the beauty the Deakins prepared for their homecoming.

“What are you wearing?” Harry asks as his body responds more to Louis with his pelvis moving to and fro ever so slightly careful to not disrupt Louis’ rhythm.

Louis pops off with a slurp. He whipes his mouth before he explains. “This I made for you. Any decent Sex God should have a crown.”

Louis sort of pulls on Harry suggestive of Harry sitting up more against the backboard of their bed. Crowning Harry, Louis sneaks a swift, small suck of a nipple before he crawls onto Harry’s lap and like that takes erection in hand, pushes head to his hole and sinks.

Harry is set on fire as soon as he slides in a few inches or less. Louis latches his arms around Harry’s shoulders to give himself something to hold onto as he begins a shallow pumping riding Harry shallow as to maximize sensation working on Harry’s knob.

This has Harry developing a sheen of sweat. He cups his hands under Louis’ cheeks liking how the ample bottom fills his hands. “Sweet Cheeks so good at riding dick, so so, insanely good.”

Louis shifts to taking somewhere over six full inches of Harry, still shy a few inches of the entire length. This is when Louis begins to rock his pelvis with a pattern that Harry knows will mean Louis is trying to bump against the sweet spot deep within himself while not letting the pleasure overtake him too completely. Louis has to keep his forehead pressed to Harry’s, his arms keeping them tighter while he rides cock so dangerously tempting his own as this nudges him closer to loosing his control. 

Harry realizes he’s more intensely gripping Louis’ bum matching the degree to which his pleasure intensifying. What was once gentle cupping is no more. Suddenly he worries he’s fondling too rough where such terrible bruises remain. It must cause him some physical change that Louis registers because instantly Louis ceases all movements and stares into Harry’s eyes.

“Don’t!” Louis snaps. “Don’t go there!” The desperartion in Louis’ eyes say that he is indeed reading the transference of thought coming from changes in Harry’s hands; Louis must know Harry is afraid of being too rough. 

Harry tries to kiss Louis but Louis turns his head so lips hit his cheek only a split second before Louis takes all of Harry’s impressive length in a hard move dropping to bottom out with Harry’s knob deep within him. This has Harry’s flower-crowned head pressing back as he gasps, his body shudders a little. What was entirely perfect dicking as it was becomes even more so. Making a rise such that Louis’ shifts, exposes much of Harry’s cock, Louis again impales himself hard of Harry’s length once more. Louis has Harry completely under his control. Almost symbolic of this claim Louis’ hands go to frame Harry were fingers touch part of Harry’s neck and jaw while he kisses into Harry’s mouth.

Louis stays with kissing deeply into Harry’s mouth as he maintains this pattern of fucking; exposing most of Harry’s cock with a slow rise, making a fast hard descent to impale himself fully on Harry. Each time Louis bottoms out on Harry, Harry thinks he’s sure to come. So deep the sensations of pleasure Louis has created Harry that he wishes could live forever in the expereince of this as if it was to end he would never to be allowed to have sex with Louis e v e r again. Lingering in the thought Harry reaches a point where he knows he can’t endure another downward stroke, cock sunk so deep in his sassy, determined, power bottom. Harry gently pushes Louis backwards taking Louis down to lay flat on the bed. Moving over Louis who was caught by surprise, probably lost in his own pleasure, his world narrowing too with that tell-tale feeling building in his core, Harry grasps his own cock tightly with Louis’. 

Holding them both in his large hand, Harry watches Louis for every beautiful detail as he takes them both to their orgasms with his calculated, deliberative hand-strokes. Harry’s crown falls off with doing this. As the crown hits the bed many petals are cast around where Louis is laid. It’s funny how this the mix of scattered petals and scattered jizz becomes every bit of an artistic performance piece almost like it is made for a public gallery, at its core is lays Louis.

Louis puts a hand on Harry’s face. “Harry?” 

The next was said with trepidation, “Will you forgive me? I have to tell you what happened in Paris.”


	69. The confession

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Like the title says, the confession, or, Louis tells Harry what happened in Paris.

***

The potential ramifications on Louis’ psyche with any slight miscalculation in Harry’s response has been well coached by Dr Janson. Harry prepared to be absolutely calm and patient. He pulls Louis into him tight. 

“We can let the past go if you like. I know I jumped to asssumtpions. I know you deserve bettter. I wish, I wish...that I could be more like Aiden was.”

“Shhh!”Louis says. His fingers for to Harry’s mouth. Softly they lay there so to make sure Harry doesn’t say more, or anything like that. “Never make that wish. I love you Harry, I love you just the way you are. You need to know that...”

This is when Louis turns away. He tucks himself into a ball, pulling sheets over to almost cocoon himself before he continues. “You need to know I would do anything for you, to protect you. Even if it meant you would hate me for it. Even if it means you can’t bear to look at me because I disgust you.”

Harry moves to be laying behind Louis pressing into him. It’s deliberate that Louis has turned away. Dr Janson forewarned Harry that Louis might not be able to talk with Harry if anything was confrontational. Confrontational could be something as simple as eye contact. The way Louis has closed himself into a ball is symbolic. Harry makes an equally symbolic move; he pulls himself closer against Louis, arms around his lover. Harry’s lips are tickled by the back of Louis’ hair and he knows Louis can feel his breath on the back of his neck. Harry his breathing, his body suggesting this is a safe space.

“You could never disgust me Louis. Have you no clue how much I’ve done in my past by my own choice that is fowl and disgusting, my motivation only to make money?”

“I understand that.” Louis states. “Of course I know what you were from the beginning. To be honest I never thought less of you about it. I came into knowing you when you are like this rockstar. That’s actually how I saw you the very first time. Like a rockstar. You see I know you think I first saw you that time at Payne’s. That’s not really the first time I say you. The first time was long before then. 

“It was long, long before the meeting at Payne’s actually. I was sitting in the Bentley one day waiting for Him. It was just me and Howard. You came out of this building we were parked across from. You and a man. I thought he might have been your bodyguard, maybe you were a model or something. You were dressed like one. Howard saw in the rear view mirror that I was straining to watch you as you walked with the man down the sidewalk. Howard told me that he knew that you were an escort. He told me that like he wanted me to know you were trouble because he saw my emotions on my face. At least I think I must have looked like I was star struck because he knew what I was thinking. Seeing you the first time was the only time I’d ever had anyone other than Aiden make me feel like you did.

“After that day I was suddenly seeing you around all over the place. Always with men. Like once I noticed you I couldn’t believe I’d never seen you before because you were frequently at nice places like that was your habit. Then I found out we knew some of the same people. Liam, Zayn, Niall. Once when I was on one of my secret outings with Aiden we passed you in his car. He saw me do this head turn and immediatley guessed why. I remember how Aiden teased me.

“The thing is all that time I had this image of you. I assumed men would fall down at your feet and beg for you. They’d be nice with you. Grateful for even the gift of only the sound of your voice. Different men would be with you; different than how He was with me. More like how Aiden was when he took care of me. I just couldn’t imagine anyone so beautiful being anything other than cherished.

It’s a long pause. Harry waits. This disclosure is tenuous. One wrong word and it might end. As a prompt Harry offers Louis a loving squeeze and a kiss on his hair. Then Harry waits.

After a few minutes Louis continues. “In Paris we met them. Claude and Martine. While you were in the emergency room Claude stayed with me. They transferred you to a room, Claude was there to be helpful. He felt responsible. He made no excuses for Martine but he wanted to make sure we didn’t cause trouble. He alluded to some motivation. Martine’s motivation some jealousy. It made no sense and I was only worried about you.

“There were things Claude said that were coded. I had no clue what he meant but I really didn’t think about it because I just wanted you to be okay. I played with your stuff, your jewelry during the wait. I found this ring, I pretended we were married, ironically. All the time while Claude was checking in, I could only assumed his reason was so we didn’t press charges against Martine.

“The offer to take me to get your clothes was when I learned the true motivation; why Martine was so deliberate in his attack. Claude said he had a history. You and he had a past. He was surprised you didn’t remember him, but then you weren’t the client. His superior was. 

“By then we were at the Vendôme, he called Martine. Told Martine to meet us there, and to bring it. It. It, was something he wanted to share with me.

“When Martine came strutting into our suite, he proudly handed this large envelope to Claude. Claude pulled out this photograph. My world crashed down. There was you in this picture with two men. You were so much younger. Your hair was much shorter, your curls were better described as girlish, your child body so different. You weren’t this rockstar escort like when I first saw you on the street. In the picture you were a mere child, a child being molested. The man who was fucking you looked, well he...he reminds me of my stepfather though he was younger than that, and built more...massive. He looked dangerous, something about him was dangerous. And the orientation of the picture, there were two of them. The man with his horse-sized dick buried in this child Harry, the other man the one who must be the photographer, maybe he had on a watch with a camera, he was taking advantage of how the man topping was pulling your hair so your head was forced up while the man in front appeared to be choking you with his cock. I couldn’t make out the face of both of them, just the one who was behind you. It was horrible. I became...unhinged.”

“It took so long for me to come back, not for what your were, or are thinking. I tried to get the picture, Martine tried to protect it from me, Claude wrestled me until I stopped freaking out. I don’t know how long it took before I stopped fighting. It didn’t help that Martine was taunting me, talking about the incident in the picture, like he was there. He wasn’t, so he was just enjoying being an arse. When Claude got Martine to shut up, me restrained, he explained. 

“He described the photo as a very dangerous picture to possess, and an even more dangerous subject, meaning the man it shows, or so that’s how Claude said it. He held it in secret for years. Martine found it when snooping around where he shouldn’t have in Claude’s possessions. He and Martine, they are not just coach and skater. They are lovers. Claude described it as pivota, the time when he discovered that he liked more being with young men rather than women after the incident. It’s Claude who the other man with you. The man it features, Claude said works for on what he called special projects, was the man who bought this young lad for a weekend, you, someone he brought to Paris from London. As Martine pranced around being a flaming arse with throwing out random, stupid remarks, Claude went on to explain more that makes the situation unique. He said the man with the two of you normally uses a whore only once. They are not seen again. The photo Claude took was on a second time bringing you to Paris. And like the first time after this incident he let you leave. Claude said he never lets them leave. He never lets them live. It’s too risky to his identity to be discovered as a homosexual. 

“I was so confused at that point. All I could think was the danger. To you. That you have this former client who would kill you. Why would Claude keep the picture? What were they doing, he and Martine, why were they showing it to me? That when Claude said he was astonished when he saw you at the ice. He almost didn’t think it could be you. First he assumed you were killed, eventually. You were too much of a risk to leave at large. But he said he knew it had to be you. Your mouth. He said it was your mouth that gave it away. He was not surprised you didn’t recognize him. He said that. But he was sure it was you all grown up and very much alive. 

“After our paths crossed at the ice, Claude’s interest in you peaked Martine’s curiosity. The revelation that the tall, clumbsy skater was the whore from London in the photo made Martine jealous about you. Apparently there was already more to what is between Claude and Martine’s relationship.

“By this time, it’s at least an hour since I left the hospital just to get you clothes, and I’m more and more sickened. Martine is still being more and more of a twat. He’s going through our things, he’s making snide comments about your clothes. He’s telling Claude to get on with it. Whatever ‘it’ is. So Claude does. He had thought when he recognized you that I was paying for you to be with me. In our seemingly normal conversation he concluded that was not what we are. He tried next to discover in a not blatantly obvious way if we were working the samegig, whores on holiday. He concluded it was not that either when we looked all romantically linked while laying on the ice. Like we were lovers, all the while Claude is telling Martine some of his observations about us anytime Martine skates by him. 

“As we were skating this entire time you were pretty focused on avoiding falling but I saw things. Like how Martine always stopped by Claude between doing a laps around the ice. How Martine was being deliberately obnoxious by coming too close to us on each lap, always throwing out some double or triple like he wanted attention. I should have seenwhat was coming... 

”What Claude told me next while we the two hours at the hotel was how he and Martine had made an agreement between themselves sometime back. Well before serenditiously running into us. Martine wanted to swap places at least once with Claude. To top. Claude said he wouldn’t bottom for Martine but he would find a way for Martine to experiment, to get to be a top. When Claude saw you he knew he had a chance at that. But Martine didn’t want you, you’re the boy who turned Claude.

“That’s what made Martine get really pissy about you on the ice. He was already harboring resentment for a long time because of the cherished photo of some boy-whore imported from London, the one who started his boyfriend’s lust for sex with men. Martine wouldn’t risk to have you be with Claude again. This was the reason Claude decided show me the picture. Martine said he wanted Claude to pressure me, not you. He said my snarky quips on the ice made him like the idea of making me his bitch. He didn’t want Claude to be with you again. Ever. You were a threat to Martine. You, your perfect mouth. 

“Photo for a fuck; that’s what they said at the hotel. I had twenty-four hours to decide. Claude would secure them a room at the Vendôme and pay off ours for another night. This would give me a chance to come to them while you recovered. Unless I wanted Claude to find ‘other uses’ for the picture they said. 

Harry is fully aware of how Louis is trembling as he reveals the unfolding of this. Though Louis’ voice is staying monotone, a manner of speech not typical of Louis, but his body reveals him to Harry. His internal strain is palpable. 

“So you didn’t do anything on the day I was released when you were gone for two hours.” 

“No.” 

“And when you told me you wanted us to leave Paris immediatley that was why.” 

“Yes.” 

“If we had left, you ignoring the threat, what would you have done?” 

“I don’t know. Maybe I would have told you. Or asked Troy and Patti...or, you won’t believe this, I remember a case He had that reminds me of a bribe like that. I might have gone to see Him to ask how to deal with it. He’s so connected and evil maybe he’d have a way to deal with Claude.” 

“Nooo!” 

As soon as Harry shouts, Louis cringes in his arms and Harry fears he’s broken the rules Janson spelled out. He hears Louis is chanting “M’sorry, m’sorry, m’sorry,” in some soft, rapid loop as Louis tires to cirl his form into a ball. 

Harry gently slips Louis into an exposed position on his back so Harry can see his face. He sees how Louis is almost glassy-eyed like some part of him is slipping away. It suddenly hits Harry it’s past the time when Louis should have his pills, surely not so much so to make it like this but still, it’s not of perfect schedule. Meanwhile it seems like Louis is fading, the confession taking a toll. His shame, feeding his emotional path, fueling his belief that he is creature not deserving of anything but his pain. 

Harry jumps up, leaves bed, comes back in a sprint the pills in hand and water. He insist Louis take them as he slips down beside Louis back to pressing them together as he tries to sooth. It’s some time after that before Louis seems less fractured. After a painful pause of maybe nearly an hour Louis rolls to face away, Harry to his back. Harry let’s him once again wrapping himself around Louis, kisses his hair, his neck, the back of an ear where the curvature is so appealing. He waits. Suspense painful. Eventually Louis resumes. 

“It wasn’t until the next day. Morning actually. You were sleeping. I’d spent the night putting the ring on my finger pretending I was yours. That I deserved you. I couldn’t bear it anymore. I made sure I would have time enough while you slept and made my way to theirs. 

“The door opened. It was smug Martine who pulled me in. I made them put the picture in the envelop, call a concierge to have it put into the main safe for just me, no one else to recover. Then I waited instructions. 

“Martine ‘ran the show’ as Claude said this was all for Martine’s pleasure, Claude wanted, or so he said, this to be all about and for Martine. Claude sat of a chair away from where Martine lead me near their bed and helped himself to champagne watching us. Martine said Claude should undress. He did. He sat again drinking more. Martine insisted I go sit on the floor at Claude’s feet to suck him. Martine wanted Claude to be hard, have his hands have something to play with while he watched. 

“Once Claude was suitably hard, Martine content with that he said for me to undress. I was only in joggers and a hoodie, he liked that. 

“He made it a point to walk around and inspect me from a few feet like he was buying some slave. He took great pleasure in telling me what he liked about me body. Where I fell short. 

“He made me go ‘present’ myself to Claude. He wanted Claude to see me entrance first for some sick kink of having Claude describe me, tell him if he would also like to fuck me or was Martine still the one and only. Claude took no loss of time to say he would fuck me, but he was extremely happy with his Martine. 

“Next he said for me to undress him. I was doing that when I got shaky undoing the closure on his pants and he hit me across the face. That’s when Claude jumped up, picked me up because the surprise took me down. Claude scolded Martine telling him the deal was off if he left any marks. ‘The whore is not to know’ Claude said. ‘The whore is not to know we made his whore ours.’ 

“Martine did his pouting noise and told me to kneel. He wanted to fuck me mouth to get hard. 

“To be honest I was not surprised his prick was so tiny. It suits him. It measures not much more in length and girth than your fingers. 

“Once he was hard he made me lay face down on the bed. There he played with me all the while making his derogatory comments asking Claude to concur. Claude obliged half-heartedly. After he horsed his slicked fingers in me like he was fucking me with them I thought he was going to get to fucking me but Claude pulled him aside. 

“Claude said he had to make sure there was no evidence. Should the whore want sex, unlikely given his injuries, he had to see a pristine body. Claude said to him it looked like I needed more prep. He told Martine to use his mouth. Martine said no. ‘He wasn’t that type of top.’ This made Claude push Martine aside, Martine protested, Claude ignored him and I felt his hands on me bum, his mouth went to me hole and he made me a wet, mess. When he pulled back I could tell Martine was mad at him. I didn’t dare look at them. I just kept quiet and waited. 

“That’s when Martine sassed, I heard Claude slap him. They wrestled shortly before I heard what sounded like a whine of submission from Martine. Claude told Martine to put his dick in me because we didn’t have all day. 

After what is another long pause Louis starts to recount. His voice sounds like he’s staining to keep back tears. “I felt Martine slide in me. He took a couple thrusts, then it felt different, Martine’s weight was different. Claude had come to top Martine while Martine was in me. Claude made the pace. He made sure he dicked into Martine precisely the way he wanted. His hand would come around Martine to me. Sometimes he wanted his fingers in me mouth. Othertimes he wanted his hand on me balls or me dick. He made sure to call me the ‘whore’s whore’ or the ‘whore’s twink’. 

“He made Martine dump his load in me. Then he made Martine eat his cum out of me. He said if Martine wanted to be a top he needed to learn how to be a proper one if he wanted a bottom as fine. He said that, ‘as fine’, like that was how he defined me. Martine responded with anger. I think he was going to hurt me because Claude jerked him away, maybe punishing him, I didn’t move to look. After a whine from Martine, their struggle concluded, Claude told me to roll over and as soon as I did Claude proceeded to jerk himself off until he came on me. My face, my chest. 

“Looking at me, like he admired what they did he got a displeased look that I was not hard. That I had not come or been aroused at all. He chided his submissive Martine. ‘A good top must always make his boy cum’ he said to Martine. 

“He came back to hover over me, took me in his mouth. Meanwhile Martine was fuming. Claude was being rough with me but effective. He makes Martine more angry saying how pretty my dick is while alternating making a demand that I come as he sucked me between these comments and demands. He succeeded in making me hard and I couldn’t contain what happened. I suddenly wasn’t there. I heard them in muted voices like I was listening from underwater. Martine was frustrated with Claude. Claude pushing me on with encouraging words while he drove his fingers deep into me, he kept saying that I had to cum or I couldn’t go back to my whore. He shoved his fingers into me a different way and lie that I was back. I could hear them clearly, I wanted to make it stop so I cried out. Claude had made me hard and warm, my body betraying me. Suddenly just like that after I cried out I went underwater again. At that time it was like I heard someone else with us, not me, like there were four of us. It wasn’t Martine, it wasn’t Claude, it wasn’t me. The other voice said “Daddy’s boy makes them do him like this. He wants them to make him come. Make Daddy’s boy come.” The other voice said he wanted them. Wanted them, Claude, Martine, to make me come. 

“I can’t describe what is was like when I felt the orgasm. I was there, I wasn’t. I was there. I wasn’t. 

“I was unconscious maybe when I felt it revive me. I heard it. Claude was making Martine clean me with his tongue, making him be submissive by demanding Martine crudely slurping up cum, hum for Claude like it was tasty, Claude insisted, Martine enjoy it, a mix of our jizz his to eat up. When Claude was satisfied that Martine had licked me clean he took me off the bed. I literally couldnt have moved. Taking me to the bathroom he bathed me. Dried me. Made sure to inspect me. ‘Just making sure’, he said, me hole looked like nothing even as small as Martine’s tiny prick had been in me. They both dressed me. Claude made a very pouty Martine stay in their room while Claude escorted me to our door. 

“He tried to kiss me before he let me go. Maybe he thought I was still dazed but I bit him hard. I thought he’d hit me for that. He didn’t. He laughed, said ‘that whoring top of mine knows how to pick them. No surprise.’” 

***


	70. Random

It has been two days since Louis and Harry married; two days since Louis confided with Harry about the incident in Paris. In the last two days they’ve not left their flat. They have stayed in, grateful for the groceries the Deakins left stocked for them, content to lay together, make love, do some gaming or just watch a movie while in each other’s arms. Today, however, they are committed to get back to school. Both have a massive number of makeup assignments to get to work on. Louis has a list of professors to meet with about his abscence, most certainly Dr McCoy of Mathematics tops the list.

Before they leave for campus, early hoping to have a few meetings with profs before their classes start Louis must have done many wardrobe changes, more than what he did on his first day at Uni when he was nervous about first impressions. Today Louis is even more self-conscious. Timidly Louis holds Harry’s hand as they walk to his first meeting, Department of Mathematics. 

Harry takes Louis all the way to Dr McCoy’s office door. Sending Louis in after a soft kiss and a tender, unnecessary adjustment of the scarf around Louis’ neck, Harry assures him, “You’ll be fine.” Harry says. “He only wants to see the packet of past assignments you have so he can determine if the grades you were getting are accurate or not. That’s all. He isn’t going to ask you about Cal. You’re not under any scrutiny for the things that happened.”

Once Harry sends Louis in to chat with the professor he takes a seat right beside the door to wait. As he is waiting, without warning, Niall shows up. He’s wearing his big duster coat. From inside the coat somewhere there is a soft mewing noise. Niall says, “Thought I’d come by here since I don’t have morning classes today. Thought it would be nice to walk Louis to and from classes, don’t you have your own make-up work to get on to?”

Harry passes on the offer. “My own absences are not my biggest concern, I’ll get around to my classes once Louis is okay.” 

This doesn’t persuade Niall to leave. He hangs an arm over Harry’s shoulders, has a delightful litany of inane stories to share with Harry. He ask how it’s been since they are official newlyweds but doesn’t wait for an answer, maybe because Niall doesn’t want to actually hear about any details about private stuff, in part because Niall seems determined to be a distraction as to keep Harry from clock-watching as it seems this little meeting to review potentially wrongly graded work is taking much longer than expected.

Finally Louis comes out of the office, the professor walking with him, a hand on Louis’ shoulder as the professor is reassuring Louis. “You’ll be fine going forward. I hand back your work once I’ve gone through all of it and reentered your ammended grades. You’ll want this original work for your review at the end of the term since my finals are always cumulative. Don’t be worried, I’m pretty sure you won’t be pressed by the content of this class going forward. You have a keen understanding, you should do quite well in this class.”

The professor ends their meeting with a pat on Louis’ shoulder, giving Harry and Niall a passing nod before returning to his office. Louis turns to Harry. Relief is written on his expression.

***

The rest of the day Harry sees Louis to each and every one of his classes. Any professors who needed Louis to make an additional appointment with them about missed work Harry insists their meeting work into when he can escort Louis. Harry’s prtectenss is heightened. In the back of Harry’s mind he twice thought he saw Cal lurking in some corner. Despite on going phantom concerns, as the day went on Louis sloughed off more and more of the timid shell. His smile came more easily. 

By far the best reception among Uni peers was the welcoming Louis received from his classmates in music. Llyod particularly emphatically lead the students in literally embracing Louis, carrying him into the room with Lloyd and another student hoisting Louis onto their shoulders. By late in the day as Harry and Louis leave campus they’ve secured all of Louis’ abscences as fully excused. They also have their first post-hospitalization appointment with Dr Janson on their itinerary later this evening. It’s been an emotional day for Louis. Despite all the outcomes of meeting with professors being positive for the prospects to makeup work, nevertheless, Louis is fading again into a more timid self. Perhaps it’s daunting all the work Louis has to make up. Perhaps it’s something else.

Harry decides that he wants to skip the doctor’s appointment and take Louis directly home. As if Louis can read Harry’s thoughts, he asks “Harry can’t we just call Dr Janson and get the session rescedhuled? I’m kind of tired.”

Harry gets another weird sensation, a fear, that someone is watching them. Where they’ve stopped on the street, an impasse as to which route to take, home or the doctor’s office, it feels too exposed. Harry slips an arm around Louis’ waist pulling Louis tight to him. “Sure babe. Let’s go on directly home. I’ll call Dr Janson from there. It feels like the weather is becoming colder fast. Let’s get you home before it rains or something.”

Once home Harry shakes off the feeling of being stalked. He calls Dr Janson from the bathroom so Louis doesn’t hear the call. The doctor is understanding but he’s firm. He insists on having a session with Louis soon, tomorrow, after classes. He mentions to Harry that he has met earlier in the day with Troy. Says he’ll explain it later to Harry but reminds Harry it’s important that going forward he work sessions with both of them. It will take time for Louis to properly learn how to manage his disorder. The doctor empahsizes how hard it will be for Louis to face his demons and Harry’s support is a huge part of that process.

That’s when Harry shares with the doctor what is clearly a surprise. “You should know that although you told me in the hospital after the latest assault the chance was not good that Louis will come back around to easily trust sharing with me about the Paris incident like he was going to before he was assaulted but you should know Louis did actually open up and told me everything. Pretty much he did that as soon as we were alone togheter at home. More or less. We’d been intimate, afterwards Louis broke down, gave me the entire story about Paris. I did like you said, if he wanted to talk I just listened. I didn’t push him or ask him more about things than he offfered. I only listened to him, held him, kissed him in a very gentle way. This wasn’t easy for Louis, or me, kind of broke my heart to have to hear his reasoning, how he was thinking he would be protecting me. It hurt even more to hear that when confronted with the bribe he almost relied on Troy, or scarily, he even considered asking Hathaway for help.” 

There is not even a second of pause before the doctor responds. “Harry, that’s remarkable that Louis took the emotional risk to have faith in your bond! It’s a very, very positive sign. Knowing he did that makes me feel at ease about you not bringing him tonight for a session as we scheduled. I’m sure he needs extra rest, but tomorrow after classes, you both come in for us to talk. Unless Louis wants to meet privately with me first I really think it would be best that we address going forward what his challenges might be and how you can be his support. He’s going to have to manage the voice in his head if it’s triggered, if it tries to take over. Something as simple as an encounter with anyone that reminds him of any of his abusers could challenge him. Troy mentioned you’ve taken the step of having a quick marriage to secure your relationship. Am I to assume his name is no longer Tomlinson?” 

“That is correct. He’s now Louis William Styles. We’ve been changing his name over to it at University as he went to each class today. I think that’s why he is so tired, it was kind of overwhelming, a few people stared, maybe because not everyone in his classes already had figured out that he was gay, or whatever. You really can’t see where he still has bruises so I don’t think it was that causing some whispers around his abscences. Or maybe me being there before and after every class drew extra attention to him, but I couldn’t let him do this alone.” 

The doctor assures Harry it was absolutely the best thing to be by Louis’ side, attention drawling as Harry might be or not. He advises Harry to not take it too far though; if Louis doesn’t want him walking him to class tomorrow or the next day, let it be. Louis needs to manage himself sooner or later without a constant chaperone.

And what of Troy’s meeting with the doctor, Harry asks, what was that about? 

“The photograph of you, Harry. Troy is going to see it is returned to its rightful owner. He wants to make certain nothing comes back from your past. He doesn’t trust the other man in the photo.” 

*** 

The haunting feeling Harry has had for days after he and Louis had their first day back at classes begins to knawl at Harry. As Louis is showering one morning before they dress for school Harry phones Troy to tell him about this odd hunch. To his surprise he learns that his suspicion is justified. Troy has Walter shadowing them, again. “Just for a short while, Harry, just until I’ve met with your former client, a man whose private life holds many dangerous secrets, evidence of his lifestyle among them. Such a person Claude Bernard should not be so foolish as to share a picture like that with anyone. I’m going to pass it on to him. I think it’s better he doesn’t learn someday, perhaps under mistaken circumstances, that the image exists and decides to come around to recover it.” 

Louis has his head full of tasks to complete to make up missed work in classes so as Harry escorts him to his first class he’s unaware of how Harry is distracted, looking over his shoulder often. Walter makes no effort to hide from Harry. He stays respectfully out of sight of Louis but gives Harry a nod as if to say it’s all okay. 

By the end of the day Harry feels worried more and more that it’s not okay. What happens if Troy giving the picture back to the client stirs up something long ago put to rest? 

*** 

*** 

Spring arrives and it’s been months since the last time Walter was secretly acting as private security. Enough time has passed that Harry is back into a completely routine of a normal student at Uni. Louis too. All seems well with them, so much so that even their sessions with Dr Janson have become less frequent. 

In anticipation of the term ending all students in the music program are preparing for end of year spring recitals, concerts, solo performances. More than most, there is a lot of pressure on Harry. Not only does he have his recital for his music class to perfect but he also has additional requirements as part of his scholarship. Louis has successfully resurrected his stellar grades in all his classes so if he’s not distracted by helping Lottie with wedding planning for her and Soren’s mid summer ceremony, Louis is preoccupying himself with various techniques to boost Harry’s confidence in his ability to deliver an outstanding set of performances for his requirements. This is why, so Louis says, he’s dragging Harry to yet another public open-mic sort of thing. 

Louis has been making Harry do these impromptu performances more and more often as of late. While Harry has to admit, getting in front of a crowd, be it at a pub, or like this morning, at a coffee shop, the pressure to do a spontaneous performance for an audience he has to win over is making Harry a lot less nervous. The less stressed Harry becomes through these practices, the more Harry learns to trust his voice, his confidence gaining. 

Today they enter a popular coffee shop just off campus. They are greeted by some of Harry’s classmates he was partnered with for a final project in their music class. Sometimes at these little public performances Louis arranges for this trio to meet up and accompany Harry. Onohter occasions it’s just Harry singing with Louis backing him on guitar. Harry always prefers it when Louis performs with him over being partnered with the trio on which his course grade relies. This is for two reasons. Mostly it’s that Harry loves doing anything with Louis. Even in front of a room full of people Harry can’t help but to look to Louis for strength as he sings, making it a point to sing every song like it’s only being sung for Louis. 

The other reason Harry prefers to avoid extra practices with his assigned team of classmates is because the two girls in his group are constantly flirting with him. One of them, Tina, is particularly forward in her unwelcomed advances. Despite that Tina is very attractive, with a fabulous voice, sensational on violin, she is nothing like Harry’s dream partner for a performing. This is because Tina can’t seem to stop blatantantly suggestive comments about hooking up with Harry. 

By the time the four of them are set up for performing in a corner of the busy coffee shop, Louis has long since wandered off to chat with some random patron while sipping chai, meanwhile Harry has had his fill of Tina putting her hands on him for the twentieth or thirtieth time. Harry knows her patting his bum or gripping his bicep will only cease once she’s forced to get her instrument in hand so he goes to the mic and jumps in catching her, and the other two by surprise as he just takes on opening with singing accepello. 

Harry’s initiative to sing brings Louis around into view. Louis is followed by the random he was talking with. As Harry sings, his eyes boring into Louis’, Louis appears to not shake off this random who continues blathering on, lips near Louis’ ear. 

Louis stays with looking at Harry. An occasional small nod from Louis suggests Louis’ attention is split. Louis is half-listening to Harry’s heart-felt singing while half his thoughts might be on the one-sided conversation. 

Once Harry is finishes the first unaccompanied song some of the patrons seated closest to the informal stage area make a brief applause. All Harry needs in recognition is the smile he gets from Louis. It’s a brief smile, a wink, followed by Louis saying something to the random bloke at his side. 

Harry is pushed into the next song as selected by Tina who leads off playing her violin signaling her song choice. Before Harry can sing his first few lyrics the random is back to talking into Louis’ ear, paying modest attention to the four performing but more generally trying to engage Louis.

This is getting annoying, Harry thinks. 

... 

Once again, Harry has to admit to himself, this is getting annoying. ‘This’ is becoming a routine thing; it is at least the fourth time when Harry and his three classmates are performance while off somewhere in the crowd some random bloke is hovering with Louis engaging in some conversation. This pattern is so concerning that this time Harry is watching, studying for unspoken innuendos. By the time the four students finish the sixth and final song Harry is certain he’s seen an exchange between the Random and Louis. They’ve taken out their phones like one is taking the other’s number. 

Leaving the cafe where they were playing as a group, Louis, Harry, Tina, Phil, Spence and Amy are casually talking except Louis is kind of focused on his phone. The idea of what Harry thinks he saw makes Harry irritated. That, and the way Tina has decided to take his arm with her free one that isn’t carrying her violin. Her plathering on and on about how good his voice is makes him more grumpy, particularly when she says she thinks it would be nice to hear his voice first thing in the morning like to imply after a sex-laden sleepover. 

Harry snaps. He shakes her hold of his arm off. Stops walking. Turns to her. “Tina, you’re suggestive shit is as annoying as it is pathetic.” 

Everyone else is stopped cold on the sidewalk. Their attention is arrested by an uncharactirtic snap from Harry. Louis has unglued himself from his seemeingly oh-so-important text. No one says a thing as Harry lashes on at Tina. 

“Pathetic, Tina. You know I’m with Louis. Why is it that you insist upon acting like he’s not even here as you flirt with me, hang on me. Don’t you have any self respect? We, me and Louis, are t o g e t h e r ...married. Very married. Happily in love.” 

Tina takes a step back. “Oh sure Harry. So why is your so-called very married in love lover always having so much fun with other men right under your nose when we perform, and taking numbers? Hum? Who is he was texting just now? Maybe it was that handsome guy who was just sitting with Louis, whispering to him all the while you sang like some pathetic, yes pathetic idiot to him. All the while Louis is off of the side, playing the field. Was Louis texting the man of the night tonight or was he texting the guy from the last time, or the time before? Think about it Harry. Think about how very married that seems.” 

Tina takes pride in her sharp reply. Louis does not.

It’s Harry who sees how subtly, but tellingly, Louis is taking offense to the accousations implied by Tina. Louis stands there, mouth open in shock, phone in hand. It’s a split second before Louis stuffs his phonein his pocket, straightens his posture and steps toward Tina with a confrontational intention. 

Harry steps into Louis breaking off Louis’ stride. Harry’s arms go around Louis, Harry holding him from behind not before Louis let’s loose a stream of derogatory adjectives trailing off into offering some form of self defense, “...and what business is it of yours who I talk with?” 

“Harry is not seeing the game you’re playing at, but to the rest of us it’s blatantly obvious. You set up these little performances for us so you can flaunt around.” 

Phil interjects that Tina is taking it too far. Amy remains neutral. Harry finds he has to struggle to pull Louis back. Louis wiggles free of Harry which has Harry having to make a forceful grab to arrest Louis’ intentions which seem bent upon getting into Tina’s space. 

“Louis, leave it be.” Harry says as he gets Louis back in his grasp, giving Louis a tug acting to put some space between them as he turns taking Louis along with him as he addresses the other three, “we get it Tina, you get crazy ideas that you are too dim to know not anyone else gives a fuck. If all of you share these ideas we should speak to the professor about dissolving our team. I don’t want to work on any project with people I don’t trust, people who don’t respect what is my private life, is just that, private. Me and Louis, our relationship, is no one else’s business.” 

... 

Tina might have hit some nerve. Harry assumes this because the entire way home Louis said nothing. Body language, though, Louis’ body language says a lot. His face stays flushed, at least when his eyes meet Harry’s he blushes. His posture remains stiff, his movements suggest he’s unsettled. He explains nothing. Not a single attempt. 

Harry opens the door to their flat. He no sooner closes the door than he pushes Louis back against it, pulling at Louis clothing as he forces his tongue into Louis’ mouth. 

This makes Louis soften. He moans a response to Harry’s gropping, his hands make a traverse across Harry’s body. 

Harry makes use of the stabilizing door behind them to easily pick Louis up. Louis’ legs grip Harry’s waist. He at long last says something. “I’ve not been making these plans for your group because I’m trying to use the diversion for flirting with men.” 

“I know that. Those opinions are theirs, not mine.” 

Letting Louis drop to the bed, Harry begins undressing Louis, then himself. He climbs over Louis who has scooted to the center of the bed after retrieving his phone from his discarded clothes. 

“Here Harry take this, look at the call record. Call any number you don’t recognize. All you are going to find is people I’ve contacted about the wedding.” 

Harry takes the phone he was handed and sets it aside. His mouth goes to Louis’ belly where he nuzzles between words. “Babe, I’m not going to insult you by doing that. I’m not going to be misguided by that demented girl’s foolishness.” 

Harry gives up speaking to make a concerted effort to kiss and sensitize skin making his path to places that tickle Louis most typically but keep some distance from a virgining erection. Louis lays his head back, he makes a sound of resignation, hands go to Harry’s hair. 

“Maybe I can show you how I feel about you, make you forget everything but how my body makes you feel.” Harry says just before he takes Louis in his mouth making what was a semi become full and stout. 

*** 

Harry arrives to the concert hall on campus where groups of students are sitting in clusters. Each cluster represents partnerships set out earlier in the term for a final performance on which they will be graded. Performances will represent one half of their total grade they will receive for the course. 

This Saturday evening timing is strategic. 

This is arranged so that other university students can come see these first year student performances. Over the years their freshman year final performance has become a ritual. It’s where the first year students are vetted by their peers who are upper class men. It’s sort of a big reveal of who is who when it comes to raw talent. Those first year students who stand out as acceptional are usually courted by other more senior students going on in the music program. A few of them learn at this point that musically, perhaps, they don’t cut it. It’s highly unusual is when a freshman does as Louis has, skips out of this required course by being advanced through by the decision of the professor, but indeed, in Louis’ case, that did happen. For most other first years students their one song team presentation of their skills is an all or nothing event. Nerves are on edge. 

The pressure, the ramifications of this public presentation cascading down on him, Harry realizes how grateful he is for all the practice Louis has made he and his team do. It seem odd at the time but for now Harry is grateful. Once in the concert Harry spots his two team players Phil and Amy. They are standing off together to one side of the large hall. Harry goes to join them. Greeting them Harry can’t help but notice they both sound down trodden in their reception like something, maybe the stress. Is bothering them. 

“So where’s Tina?” Harry asks. She’s always ready with a snappy comment since her advances on himhave beeen passively put to the side time and time again. 

Before Phil can answer the music prof comes to them having seen Harry has just arrived. He’s clearly got many things to do before the process starts yet oddly he stops everything he’s in the middle of attending to address Harry with some urgency. 

“Mr Styles, good, you’re here. Couple things,” he says rushedly, “first since you got the merit award you know you will be doing an extra song choice. I think it’s only right that you also go first. Kinda set the bar with that voice of yours. Then your group can do the song for your team’s course grade. The other thing we need discuss is a bit contentious. Your teammate, Ms Tina Wilder, came by my office late this afternoon. She asked to be place on a different team. She said something about sexual tension within the group, you specifically. This is hardly the forum to delve into that now but I’ve honored her request. We can deal with her allegations later, perhaps, but for now I want you to think about which of the songs you’ve been working on are best which one for the your group performance grade and what song you will for your requirement having received the scholarship nearing g in mind you’ve lost your violinist.” 

Harry looks around the auditorium. In a group of other violinists sits Tina. Tina who is looking over at him with a telling smirk. 

“She lied to you Professor. I just want you to know that.” 

“I understand things better than you might suspect, Mr Styles. No formal complaint is being discussed. I have to deal with that issue later, we’ve got the hall filling with people from all over campus and general public coming here within an hour. That gives you, Amy and Phil very little time to decide how to handle a missing link. I also understand that you’ve been doing some improvisational performances around, off campus. If there’s anything you can take away from that to offset the missing violinist, I give you full latitude.” 

Leaving it at that the professor goes rushing off when he another student he needs to speak to. The rush to catch the student diverts Harry’s attention just outside of the hall door that is being opened repeatedly by incoming audience filling the venue is Louis. 

If he listens, Harry can even hear Louis’ distinctive laugh anytime the door opens like someone with Louis is amusing him. Harry goes to the door, holds it open with a string of people passing him as they enter. Harry was prepared to simply ask Louis to come on inside when the sight he discovers makes him stop. 

Standing in the hall with Louis are two young men who look familiar. Harry thinks maybe they might be two of the Randoms Louis made friends with over the course of several off campus practice performances. The third man, older, maybe fifty, distinguished and dressed suggesting money comes with ease for him though his look modest, is not anyone to overlook. 

This Frenchman, one Harry hasn’t given any thought of for weeks, months, who Harry had last seen in the flesh when he was thirteen is absorbed in the conversation with Louis and the two Randoms. It is one of the two younger men has Louis is stitches over something he’s talking about. The four look at ease laughing in the hall, Louis laughing the most almost as if the others are competeing to entertain him in their conversation. At this point the Frenchman puts one of his hands on Louis’ shoulder like to stabilize Louis who is laughing so much that he is literally bent over. 

Harry is aghast to see this person near Louis, part of a party making Louis laugh, much less putting a hand on Louis. Louis having selected to wear to this event a black sloppy neck long sleeve tee allows the man’s fingers to land on bare skin where it rest on his shoulder. The tee being so sheer that Louis’ body, his nipples, his bellybutton, can be seen through it, adding to the cut of garment with its the neckline so revealing; revealing where fingertips undeserving make contact with flawless, amber skin, silky and smooth. 

Harry must have made a sound at that precise moment because the four turn to him. Louis immediately pipes out a “Harreh!” He bounds over to Harry making his arms that go around Harry’s waist thread between Harry’s tuxedo jacket and Harry’s white silk shirt. 

Louis puts a kiss on the underside of Harry’s jaw causing an immediate rise of gossebumbs because it’s a quick soft with an even more brief kitten lick before lips pull away. A crazily exuberant Louis starts to ramble. 

“Babe I know you’re anxious, but trust me the four of you will kill it. So I was saving telling you this until later, after, but I want you to know since I know you were curious...about the people yours saw me talking with when your group was practicing. You see Harry I had alternative motivations. I knew you would never walk into a talent agent’s office, or a recording studio, so all that off campus practice for tonight was not about making the course grade solid. Well it was a little, so that is not total lie, but a diversion. Just want you to know because you’ve found me out here so I can’t pretend like these are just random strangers coming for the show. I’ve got people to introduce you to. Again, not wanting to add pressure but these three are here for you, to meet you, to see about signing you to a recording contract. 

Harry looks at the pure enthusiastic love for him radiating off Louis. He’s searching Harry’s face like he wants this news to have meaning of love and support, a measure of Louis’ confidence in his lover’s potential. 

But in the background, not getting a direct acknowledgment from Harry, seen only in peripheral vision, is the man. The very dangerous French, French what? Special operative? Assassin? Surely not “ambassador”. 

Louis pulls at Harry’s hands he with his like to bring him to meet the two Randoms Harry recognizes but doesn’t know and the one man Harry does know in the entirely worse sort of sense of knowing. Dangerous former client with a history of doing others away. 


	71. The Loan

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Abandoned by one of their team Harry’s group gets unexpected help.  
> ***

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ...because I took so long to get the last update this is coming more quickly although it is a bit short. Hoping to wrap up all the little loose ends like the Frenchman before the big finish.  
>  ***

Louis has a soft pull on Harry’s hands bringing Harry toward the Randoms, otherwise know as some music industry types, and the man for whom Harry performed so wonderfully for as a prostitute. At the time, Harry just thirteen, didn’t know that this person, a killer by trade, would normally not let someone like him to live after. He did let Harry go. Now the Frenchman is here. 

In the Frenchman’s face Harry can read the anticipatory reaction at their reacquaintance. The man is curious with his eyes set on Harry. Harry can see that he is looking forward to this.

But Harry won’t have this. He makes one quick survey of others in the hallway wishing to see Troy magically appear to rescue them but he knows that rather unlikely. Last he heard Troy was currently out of town doing ‘ambassador things’. 

Harry’s returning hold of Louis’ hands in his makes their contact more tight before he pulls Louis back to him and away from where Louis is trying to lead them.

“No, no, Louis. I need you to come with me,” Harry’s sudden tug to impede making an introduction with the three surprises Louis nearly taking him off his feet before Harry scoops Louis into him, an arm going around Louis’ waist securing him as Harry seeks to explain, “no you and me need to talk, right now.”

Guiding Louis into th concert hall Harry looks over his shoulder seeing how the three men in the hallway resign they will have to wait to meet Harry. Only the Frenchman bears an expression of understanding why. 

Louis starts to protest, “Harry I know the final performances will start soon but just come say a quick hello. We’ll go for drinks after,”

Harry cuts him off. He decides to explain his behavior with the simplest of issues, a missing violinist, then maybe after his group has done their song he can reconcile what to do about the narfarious former client with no Troy to rely on.

“Louis we have a problem.” Harry starts.

“I know you thought that, but you see, we don’t. That Tina was making things up, and completely wrong, wrong about everything.”

“Well actually Tina is the problem, a new problem. She went to the professor this afternoon with a story, made a case to switch groups. She’s now sat with four other violinists. We had every song worked around her violin and now me Phil and Amy have to go on tonight with only the three of us.”

Louis stops in his tracks. He looks around the hall he’s being lead through that is filling with more and more spectators. Spotting Tina off with some other violinists, Louis pulls a face at her just as Phil and Amy approach. All the silly little impromptu performances have a new meaning now. Louis’ role in pushing them into the venues, suggesting through constructive commments what music they should do, how to approach things has made Louis a defacto mentor of sorts. With a relived look they join Harry and Louis looking to Louis for direction. 

“Okay Louis, your good at this sort of random thing, any ideas? We’ve been working all our song arrangements around Tina so much that it’s going to leave a hole, gutting our chance of doing our best.” Phil says. Amy nods. She adds, “We’ve been given latitude to do whatever, but we also have to go first because of Harry’s scholarship. We don’t have time to do much reorganization.”

Louis looks across the huge space to where Tina is still sitting with a smug look as she intently watches them, her delight in their predicament evident. Harry is sure Louis is going to flip her off so he takes Louis’ hands. Louis asks about the group she is with. “Those other four, are they going to be happy about her coming to their group? They have to know what a bitch she is.”

“They’ll be fine with it. They all know each other well. They are doing a very traditional classic concerto, she won’t throw them off. She’ll help them actually because she is one of the best players.”

Louis looks around at the other groups of musicians and singers. Nodding at a group of four classmates he sees that has a pair of violinists, a viola and a cellist he asks “What about them? What do you know about them?” 

“The Asians? Nothing really. They stay to themselves a lot. They are a bit odd. The two violinists, twin sisters, are from Taiwan. The cellist is from Japan. He’s nice. The viola player is from South Korea. Everytime they talk among themselves they usually are speaking in French, like they won’t use English as well not like they are deliberately trying to be secretive. In other words they don’t usually seem comfortable to mix with many other students in this class though even they are in orchestra or symphony together with some other students in this class.”

Louis makes a sound blowing a breath through his lips. “What is the name of the lad who plays alto viola?” 

“Jeon Jung-kook. He goes by Jungkook. Why? You know Louis that no one is going to step up and do anything to help another group with no practice.” Harry says. 

Trying to guess what the constantly unpredictable Louis is thinking, Harry can’t fathom the question about the Asian group of players. Louis’ playful nature has always thrived on spontaneity, mischief or taking on unexpected challenges whether it’s a challenge on the football field or during sex. The question about the violist Jungkook makes no sense to Harry. His team, Amy and Phil, look at Louis like they too are slightly confused. Like Harry they probably just want to decide on what song to do for their course grade with a missing violinist and which other song to do in their role to back Harry up for his extra requirement. 

“Latitude, you have latitude, whatever that means, taking a chance can’t hurt.” Louis looks around the room one more time seeing how Tina smugly studies this fractured group she’s abandoned before he adds adds, “Wait here.” 

Louis flips Tina off as he turns to weave through the growing crowd of people filling the concert hall to find seats. While Louis is making his way to the spot where the four Asians are standing, instruments resting in their open cases, Harry notices other people who have enter the hall, taken seats, in the quickly filling concert hall. 

The three men Louis wanted to introduce him to are sitting near the middle of the venue’s seating like they want to take a prime spot with the optimal acoustic quality. Sat rather far away from them, having arrived while Harry and Louis were discussing Jeon, Grayson has escorted Gemma to a space designed for those in wheelchairs. With Gemma and Grayson are Lottie, Soren, Niall and Liam. The six appear to have dressed for the occasion, perhaps taken in a nice dinner out before this. Zayn had a art student committment and wasn’t planning to attend. 

It is impossible to overlook how welcomingly Louis is received when he makes his way over to the four Asians. They all smile, Jungkook most of all, while Jungkook is seen to also be blushing. Harry identified very early on in the term that Jungkook is not only a gorgeous lad to look at, but also that he is quite unabashedly gay. Something Louis said to the group made an immediate impact. In a fraction of a minute he has them all laughing. An uncharacteristic thing for them. Jungkook appears charmed. He can’t take his eyes off Louis. He smiles like an idiot when he’s not outwardly laughing like he’s hanging on Louis’ every word. 

A few minutes of this results visit from Louis results in Jungkook picking up his viola. He and Louis are seen as talking exclusively about it with the other three listening to them with a continued expression of openness to whatever the conversation is, apparently focused on the viola. Jungkook’s viola. 

Then it happens. Jungkook sets down his instrument. He takes off his black tuxedo jacket. He hands the jacket to Louis who puts it on, then Jungkook picks up his instrument and the accompanying bow and hands them both to Louis. Louis makes a commment that makes the four all laugh again heartily. It’s some comment that also makes them turn to face where the five violoinists that include Tina sit. Harry is fairly certain Louis has found someway of making use of what has always been a bit of unspoken competition between these two groups of string players. 

Louis comes back to Harry, Amy and Phil. He has a smile on his face that is a mix of mischief and satisfaction as he carries the viola and the bow. With Jungkook’s jacket adorning him the rather seductive look Louis was presenting a few minutes earlier is transformed into something more general audience with a fashion forward edge because the Korean Jung-kook is known for spending on trendy, expensive, designer made apparel. Jungkook’s choice in turxedo fashion suits Louis’ body. 

With the viola and a bow in hand Louis says to them, “Okay what do you want to do? I think you want to stay with the Verve Pipe’s Bittersweet Symphony for the group’s graded piece. We have a viola now so Tina can sit on her violin.” 

Mystified by what Louis is doing with a viola, Harry, Amy and Phil are dumbstruck by his casual demeanor and the apparent reason for the borrowed jacket and viola. 

With continued casual nonchalance Louis registers the blank stares of the confused. “What? Why are you staring at me like that? Kiss Me.” Before Harry can sort all the confusion in his mind,everything Louis is doing, saying, Louis clarifies his meaning of stating ‘kiss me’. He goes on suggesting the pieces to select. “I don’t mean kiss me, like that, I mean the song ‘Kiss Me’. We should do that for the scholarship requirement. I think I can do that. You know how Tina replaces the accordion played by Mitch in Sixpence, at least I think this will work for me to do viola, if, I F, I still remember how to play. It’s been awhile.” 

With more stunned, gapping astonishing expressions from Amy and Phil, both still mute, it’s Harry who finally snaps out of his confusion. “Louis, do mean to tell us you can play that thing? Since when? I mean, why have you never mentioned this ... I mean it’s crazy enough that you play the guitar and the piano so beautifully well but this... a viola? What the fuck? Why have you never mentioned it? Why have you never played a viola for me? It’s something about you never even mentioned by Aiden in the diary or anything. You keep the strangest secrets.” 

Louis gets a funny look on his face. It’s a bit of angst with a hint of cringe as he scrunches his face and shrugs. “Got bad karma on the hole viola thing. Eleanor. Not going there. Gives me the creeps to even touch this thing.” 

“Oh god”, Harry thinks. He’s walked Louis right into a past that is part of all the harm. Harry brain can incarnate as scenario that his mind sees like it’s a film played in his head. Back when Hathaway brought Eleanor around it was in part to fuck the gay out of Louis as much as it was to develop his breadth in musical skills. And Eleanor’s best instrumental knowledge was with strings. Before Harry begins to think of what to say Phil and Amy break their silence. 

“Perfect.” Phil says. “Viola replaces Viloin.” 

“Yes, great.” Amy adds with excitement, “So we will do Bittersweet Symphony followed by Kiss Me so Professor Spenser will know which is our graded piece. We do have latitude, he did said that, he can’t mark us down by having a third instrument contributed by Louis, not when we have worked on this for so long. Anyway, I mean if Tina can cut out of our group, we have to have someone to step in to replace her because it’s not fair to leave us with only a base guitar and percussion. That leaves us entirely too shallow. Everyone else has four instruments or five.” The “five” was said with emphasis to reference the violinists that Tina joined being now a very strong group as Tina is among the best in the first year students new to University though they all feel, not only Harry, that Louis is exceedingly advanced as he was put through to a sending year course requirement rather than stuck in year one musics. 

That said Phil and Amy are quick to begin patting Louis on the back and shoulder, fawning a bit over him with gratitude. Harry sees the beginning signs of some small internal turmoil resonate in Louis’ expression. What minutes ago was certainty when he borrowed the viola from Jungkook is disintegrating into suppressed fretting. It’s hard for the other two musicians to read Louis like Harry can but for Harry emotions are transparent. The viola is kryptonite. The longer Louis holds in his hand the more he is drug into a bad place he’s tried to leave in the past. They have enough Past to deal with. The Frenchman is here. “Louis. We don’t need this.” 


	72. The Frenchman

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Performance night continues. After their performances the music students go to a club for an after party. As does a very unwanted guest.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Recommend setting the mood, by listing to ‘Bittersweet Symphony’ by the Verve Pipe and Kiss Me by Sixpence None the Richer unless you dont like throwback music. To be sure, someone might find much of this as boring but ‘Kiss Me’ with its reference to shoes and “flowered hat” lyric has Harry written all over it and it’s reference is the basis for the smut inspiration to come.
> 
> Introducing Ted Rogan/Henri Thibault  
> Industry blokes Simon and Chester.
> 
> ***

Concert hall lights flicker. Sign for the room to quiet. This takes doesn’t happen immediatley because the room is packed. Student groups have their assignments of order to go. First up, Harry, Amy, Phil with an unexpected accompaniment on viola by Louis known by the other students of this class as the boy who got advanced into a second year music requirement after a few days in their class at the start of the term.

Harry’s group waits patiently for the crowd to hush. It seems like the other students in Music I for Majors are in a buzz about why the threesome has no Tina no but a substitute. Only the Asian group that Louis borrowed the viola from are silently waiting knowingly. A lot of students are looking over in puzzlement at Tina; everyone thought they knew who the assigned groups are. Why is Tina now with the other tight group of violinists? The printed program for the evening still list Tina in a group first to go, so what is this?

Louis leads off with a nod to Amy. He makes a few fairly smooth notes playing the viola before he abruptly stops well before where Harry’s vocal is to begin. This song has a long string intro that was in their arrangement before Tina left them but Louis stopped short before Amy, Phil and Harry came in. He pauses in a frozen like pose. He almost looks like a marionette doll in the way he does so. 

Shaking his head “no”, Louis lifts again the viola he’d lowered when he abruptly stopped and froze. Looking ready to play once again he nods at Amy who will come in first after his lead.

Louis plays not much further than he did the first time before he stops again. Whether it’s that he’s incapable of conjuring the correct way to play, or whether it’s something else, Harry can’t be sure. Amy and Phil seem calm, though perhaps caught off guard by Louis stopping because they can’t hear a flaw to be the cause. 

Harry 

can 

hear 

it. 

It’s the sound of Louis’ heart; the sound of his heart being carved open by accepting putting the viola in his hand. Harry starts to leave his mounted microphone to step over to Louis but Louis shakes him off. He stays at his microphone, raises the viola a third time and gives Harry a glare like to say “Don’t. Don’t come to me.” The sense Harry has is that if he goes to Louis, Louis will shatter. 

Harry hovers, almost going through the block Louis is trying to put up, wanting to be able to put his arms around his lover, but then he’s stopped by the odd thing that happens next.

Leaving Jungkook and the cellistthey were with, the twins, their instruments in hand, walk to the stage. They come to beside Louis flanking him. They give him a smile. Raise their instruments. After a nod it becomes three strings combined that begin the sweeping sound that opens the song Bittersweet Symphony. It’s played so well by the sisters one would hardly know they had not been formally preparing. It’s a surprise to all in Harry’s group but with Louis getting help from the twins they help Louis play past his block taking the song to the point where Harry should come in. As he begins to sing Harry never stops being sort of turned facing to look at Louis. The song has an effect in Harry’s mind of an image that is metaphysical. The strings play and with this Louis is lifted like angel by these sisters like they are taking one of their own home. Or so it is Harry imagines. 

The song is over before Harry could fathom how to pry his eyes off Louis. Harry’s first look at the audience that comes to standing, his classmates, Professor Spenser, is when they’ve played the last note. It’s the first time he’s realized there are many other familiar faces in the crowd. Louis’ friends Lloyd and others from Louis’ music class are grouped together in seats near the front. Professors Foust and Miller are in attendance. Harry’s friend Brad is there, joined by his sister who had competed against Harry for the scholarship. Brad’s sister is smiling at Harry with obvious heart eyes and great enthusiasm to her applause. If it wasn’t for the Frenchman in the audience, working some con as he’s come along with people from the music industry, or so Louis thinks they are, this adulation could be perfect. 

There’s no time for Harry to sort out anything about the unwanted man in the audience who stares intensely at him. They have another song to do. 

Off to the side Louis is speaking in French with the twins with the viola positioned like he’s going to play it again to fill in for Tina. As he does a few measures of the song “Kiss Me” it occurs to Harry what he’s doing. He’s hoping one of them can help again. Tina was to play through the entire song like she was substituting for the rhythm guitar role. Louis takes Amy’s sheet music for the song since Amy has really no need for it having done this song so many times during their practices. 

Louis having done a quick direction on what to play places the music on the stand before the twins and as the audience is quieting in anticipation. It’s surprising that Louis then sprints off stage. 

Two of the people in the front row are students in Harry’s class who opted to be the only two-person team doing a final group project. The lads being very good friends actually preferred to take the assignment as a stripped down pair because it suits their musical style and their temperaments. To these two Louis bounds. A quick ask and Louis is able to bring back one of their guitars. In a matter of seconds with securing having the twins on remain on stage to take yet another role, Louis is back to their broken and restricted group, habing put a spin on the entire final performance situation. What had been a rather competitive thing in this class, where each group for was rather selfishly all for themselves, has become more of an exercise in comrades coming together. 

Louis plugs into the guitar, strikes the first note of Kiss Me with a nod to Harry’s team. He takes care to stand where he’s close to support the twins for cueing them. It occurs to Harry he’s made an impromptu artistic decision. 

Take the body of the piece they had planned for Tina’s violin part and play it like it’s done in the original song, on guitar, yet still include two violins. The violins, should Louis have instructed the girls right, should come in on the song only where the accordion plays in the original version by the band Sixpence. All these changes being made on the fly, will be brilliant, if executed correctly. This mastery of production is why Louis was advanced out of this class. Ur now most of what will “fly” is on Harry as he hasn’t gotten to rehearse this song as much as the others. Of their six most practiced pieces this wasn’t even on the list; Tina made sure of that though until now Harry never understood why. 

The split second arrangement of the use of instruments is indeed brilliant. The twins are on point at the precise time to immediate the use of the accordion with their violins. Base, percussion, guitar play through the song with ease. 

Harry realizes for the first time something he’d always never understood. Why it is that Tina always hated the song. While the band Sixpence None the Richer was known as Christian rock genre the song lyric has a very pronounced undertone; is it really strong undertones. The lyrics could be suggesting it’s point of view is written as words from one woman to another. Or maybe, Harry is realizing it’s not specially gay lyric but at least a genderless love messenge wrapped up in some beautifully, technical songwriting. As they complete the piece they once again have the hall on their feet. Everyone it seems except Tina and very few others. 

Gemma, unable to stand, is being held bridal style in Grayson’s arms, all the rest of family and friends standing, rousingly applauding. Even the two music industry reps and the Frenchman are in lively form as they cheer the performers. Professor Spenser comes onto stage. He goes to Harry’s mic which has the audience quieting, taking their seats. 

“What we have there was our scholarship recipient, Harry Styles, accompanied by his team, the group having unexpectedly transitioned from an original four to this newly configured group of six. I just want to say we can see why Mr Styles was given the merit, clearly deservedly so, but my praise goes out to all six of you, including our wayward student from another section of music, because, for the record, these six had no preparation for doing these songs as they did here tonight. I’d like to given them another round of applause, great job, great job.” 

Harry enjoys drinking in the attention though he’s deeply bother by the Frenchman being there. He can feel the man’s eyes on him and when he does it makes him feel dirty, exposed, like a cheap whore. Harry hasn’t felt like this before. Long ago he turned his role as a simple street rat performing blowjobs for mere change into being the escort to be coveted, desired, begged for. Now suddenly that seems stripped away. This person being here makes him feel like the lost child he was when he was at the greatest need for love and caring. 

Looking over at Louis who has the twins beside him, each with an arm around him as people applaud for them again, Harry’s heart swells with love for knowing that he can never be a lost child again. Not now that Louis is him. Two half broken people made as one whole. Willing to do anything for the other. 

Harry has to put distance between them and the Frenchman. 

*** 

“You keep pulling him away from us, putting distance between him and my associates.” The Frenchman says referring to Louis. He is speaking to Harry with an accent that’s not French, nor is it anything else Harry can recognize. Maybe it is a nonaccent of his own creation afterall this man, has a path in life that’s filled with deceptions. Like Troy Visser, he most likely claims to be something other that what he actually is. So when the last group of students finished their performance at the concert hall on campus, the vast majority of the students elected to go to a place just off campus for live music and drinks. The three men Harry is sat with followed them to the club on Louis’ request. 

Once at the club with so many music students all in a celebratory mood Louis somehow convinced the hired dj playing the club to allow an occasional open mic or random jamming to occur between dj and students. Amidst this Louis keeps trying to get Harry to peel away from the students Harry preferred to use as a buffer. Unknowing of the danger Louis kept suggesting it is rather important that Harry visit with the music industry fellows. 

The more Harry tried to put space between he and Louis and the three men, the more Louis won’t have it. Even as Harry whispers to Louis that he’d really like to explain something in private to Louis it becomes a complete failed attempt. Louis only blindly insist that Harry must make a plan to formally meet with them, but first, at least hear some of their thoughts as they enjoy a casual meeting the club setting. It’s apparent Louis has worked hard to get Harry in front of what Louis calls “all the right people”. 

Louis couldn’t be anymore unwittingly wrong as he glows with pride over Harry’s eminent discovery and chance for fame. 

Harry gets a little relief from his unshared misery when Louis is pulled away from the table, pushed to the stage by the urging of Junghook who has conspired with Amy about getting Louis to do a song with her and the dj. 

With Louis swept away Harry is trying to ignore the three men eagerly courting him. He has yet to respond to The Frenchman’s comment. He sends a text to Troy. His hope to have Troy’s help is met with discovering that Troy traveling for work. So comes the auto reply. Harry looks to where Grayson and Soren are sitting way across the club, with them Liam and Niall, and it’s clear they are not aware of the situation. Could they even help? To their knowledge, the other classmates knowledge, there are some talent scouts in the midst. That’s why Louis was trying to sequester Harry off to the back of the club with these people, away from the other celebrating students so Harry could potentially make a leap to fame. 

Harry looks at Louis roped by Amy to do a song with her. Harry is calculating his words on how to reply to The Frenchman going by the name Ted Rogan. Harry’s reply needs to be a speaking in code between Harry and the Frenchman because Harry is on his own in this mess with Troy away. This timing is the only indication Harry has that the industry reps might not even know themselves who this man with them is. They seem to think he is senior partner of the music label they work for. Ted Rogan they’ve called him. Ted Rogan comes up on a public search as a person who is a top executive at the record company. The thing is the name Harry knew him by is Henri Thibault. 

“Yes, yes Mr Rogan, seems that I am. I am indeed. Putting distance between Louis, me and this situation.” Harry makes sure to say Mr Rogan in a slightly, snidely emphatic way. It becomes a slight test to whether any of these men are who, what, they say they aren’t Rogan’s partners in a frightening sense. 

Record Industry Bloke One, Simon, laughs as he suggests his understanding of Harry’s odd, unexpected reluctance. “Would that be because you might see that Louis of yours as someone exceptionally talented as well? Could it be that while he’s promoting your talents that you are kinda jealous or something of his? Maybe worried that we might be interested in him as well? Like we’d mistakenly play him against you? We were noticing how you had all these pretty boys around you when you left the hall for this club. You, your friends over there,” Simon continues as he points to Liam, Niall, Grayson and Soren, “do they sing as well? It’s like the makings of a perfectly packaged boy band.” 

Record Industry Bloke Two, Chester, nudges Simon, laughing at this plausible explanation for Harry’s standoffishness . He indicates with a hand he’s referring to Louis who is still on stage with Amy are doing another song that was practiced by Harry’s group. Louis and Amy chosen to do it as a duet but in Louis’ typical playful form, magnified by the drinks he’s already had, is making up new,ridiculous, funny lyrics, while Amy tires her best to play it straight. 

Chester adds, “We see you are together Styles. It’s okay. We can work around the, how did you say, s i t u a t i o n.” 

Is this referring to how they are a gay couple? Or something else. 

Harry doesn’t care that he sounds even more deliberatively rude. “No, no I really don’t think you can.” Harry stands. He pushes away the drink that they had ordered for him without having taken a single sip. He stands. He looks “Ted Rogan” in the eye. 

”I am absolutely not looking for a career in music. I don’t need to explain ‘the s i t u a t i o n’. Or any reasons why.” 

Simon stands up clearly wanting Harry to stay, not say write off the opportunity. “Harry, how about we see what Louis wants. He’s worked hard to get you in front of us. He’s been very effectively representing your assets as well. Your talent, your persona, your made for camera looks. You should at least consider what he wants.” 

“I said not interested.” Harry snaps. He begins to walk off. Louis is just coming off the stage. A few other people from the music class have taken his and Amy’s place onnstage with the dj. 

The second Louis is off the elevated stage, standing near it by virtue of being trapped there by the denser crowding of bodies, he has a new drink put in his hand by some bloke that must have bought it for him. 

The young man looks like he can’t be any older than Louis or Harry. He is tall, lanky not so different in build than Harry. Very attractive much like a Harry Styles with short hair. 

Harry tries to make it their way which requires he fight to squeeze through the crowded club floor. Before he makes it very far a from the table he abandoned a hand pulls him by the arm. 

It’s the Frenchman. 

“He’s going to be disappointed, that one.” Henri says nodding Louis’ direction. “I understand from when Simon and Chester brought me in that this lad they’ve been meeting with has got so much faith in Harry Styles, the prospect for your future. It would be a shame to let Louis down. Don’t you want to take care of him...” 

Harry pulls his arm away. He makes it a point to brush off his sleeve like the touch of the former client’s hand on his arm left the sleeve filthy. 

”Don’t try to tell me what Louis thinks, or what he needs. I don’t know how you got yourself inserted here, into this, unless Simon and Chester are actually not part of some record label, maybe they are another Claude Bernard in this elaborate rouse you are hoping to pull, but whatever, I don’t care. Just stay away from me, stay from Louis.” 

Henri snorts. “Claude Bernard? Simon and Chester are not another Claude Bernard. They at least have a measure of intelligence enough to know where their lanes are, music talent. They are legit. They only know me as what I’ve presented to them because that’s what I do. Claude on the other hand, Claude made the mistake of making a document that was not in his best interest to create. Can I blame him for wanting to retain some keepsake of you from that one time with us years ago? No. Not in the slightest. He should however been smart enough to have weighed consequences of trying to benefit from it. Having received it I was going to only deal with Claude then let things be. But I couldn’t. Just like I couldn’t do with you what I should have years ago and I realize why. You were then, you are now something special. There’s a past you have. A past that is always going to follow you.” 

The hair on the back of Harry’s neck rises. His chest tightens. “Are you threatening me?” 

Harry’s confidence in the face of this blurred meaning generates a smile from Henri. The smile absolutely does not make Harry feel any quotient of more ease. Harry scans the room looking for where people are. Louis is still standing just off from the stage, Harry’s fellow students are still scattered around some wanting to take a shot at getting on stage. Harry wishes Soren and Grayson weren’t all the way across the club so far as to be out of sight from where he stands facing the worst of his past. 

“No. Why would I do that? I’m not here to bring you suffering. Believe it or not. I’m here because...” 

He stops. His break in the line of thought makes Harry look where Henri is intently looking. Harry sees the bloke who was regaling Louis and Junghook has put his hands on Louis. Junghook looks aghast, pulls Louis to him like to take Louis away from hands that are unquestionably taking in some less that appropriate license in their straying touch.

Harry starts to plow through people to break up the behavior when he’s prevented by the way the bloke looks directly, without any question, deliberately, to where he and Henri are standing. Not only does he look at them, but dismissing his briefly handsiness with Louis, he winks at Harry. Winks, then nods at Henri to suggest some coordination or scripted intention to his conduct. 

Harry realizes. “He’s one of yours. That one with Louis. He’s one of yours. These two music reps are unknowing pawns and he’s yours. Like another Claude.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please tell me where are the visual artists leaving Tumblr might be meeting up. Those of you who draw are a huge source of inspiration for the smut those of us who write do.


	73. History

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Harry’s past has swept back with considerable force.  
> ***

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Was derailed for a while by writing a one-shot. I can’t do that very well apparently...it took weeks and went to 40K word count. It’s a monster for a one shot but check out Bad Boyfriend and please leave comments on any, thanks for reading!  
> ***

“I assure you Harry, That One is not going to harm your little one. He is with me, but he’s not in one the sense of another Claude Bernard. Not a hired man. That one is actually my responsibility to take care of. I couldn’t get him to stay home. Once Visser showed up with a piece of the past, I had to explain the picture to him. When I had an opportunity to come settle about you, waiting until Visser was occupied traveling elsewhere, I was persuaded to bring him along. I’ve been around studying the situation for sometime. That One of mine has become quite taken with your Louis. Finds him amusing. The question I just asked remains, don’t you want to take care of Louis? He’s such a precious little thing. Oddly feisty on one hand, sweet on the other. Kind of a paradox.”

Harry grapples with the implication. Henri has come for what? As what? Escorted by what? Who? That One, who is Henri’s to take care of is what... Escort? No older than Harry, is That One yet another street whore that as a teen this man has associated with? 

“Are you, he, is....is he another...sex for hire?”

“Peter? A whore? No. Well at least not now. He was when we met. Actually When I met him I was still trying to decide how to handle you, what to do about you. I wanted to keep you but it was pretty clear you weren’t going to be an easy thing to slip under the rug and keep hidden. While Peter was no older than you, as gorgeous, had one advantage to allow me keep around on a more permanent basis. At least Peter is French, I wouldn’t travel to import him as I would have had to do with you. For sure the biggest difference was how new Peter was so new to the street whore scene. He had none of your independent tendencies. Peter made the transition to being mine alone to keep, secretly, with ease and great willingness. 

“After we were together for sometime I was too attached to let Peter go. Still harbored my fantasies of you though. So with the two of you my previous tendencies to use boys, and clean up the evidence after, wavered. The longer I kept Peter the less I felt any need to worry about your whereabouts. Until Visser revealed the way Claude played with your past with encounter with me to manipulate Louis. The connection between us I thought was all in the past. When I delt with Claude for his transgression using Louis it was to my surprise he’d already revealed to Peter about you and me. Embolden by his success with Louis, Claude wanted to manipulate Peter into some threesome like Visser told me. Claude made the foolish mistake though of not realizing the extent to which I have been honest with Peter about who I am, what I do, what I’ve done. That includes what had been my past with other young male prostitutes. Peter was able to resist the attempt to be manipulated. Now you may find this hard to believe Harry but I am very changed by Peter. He is very special to me. I don’t ever want anything to come between us.

“That’s why when Peter insist he come along on this trip I acquiesced. Together we have had a couple weeks to watch you, the daily routines, habits of newlywed the Styles’. With Louis sneaking around to set up his grand plan to get you discovered it was relatively easy to drop myself into the role of company executive and gain his trust. Why not let Louis set up our meeting? So you see This is why I say Peter is not going to hurt Louis. He’s just excited to encounter Louis, finally, out in the wild where he can nonchalantly talk with him for once. All this time we’ve been following your daily activities Peter has been right there with me. A few times we had to spilt when the two of you parted. We went with Peter following Louis. Me following you. Mostly though we’ve been together on this every step.

“Together on this? Together on what? What the hell are you trying to do?” Harry says with fear, exasperation and confusion.

“I’m trying to show Peter how much I am true to him. To prove my changes are earnest and lasting. The appearance of a dirty secret from my past, one street whore other than him who dodged my traditions is potentially a good thing for me if, if it becomes proof of a genuine indication that I am honest with Peter. My chance to dispell the concern for him that a long time ago I thought you were special. Peter deserves proper assurances. Particularly because he already knew from Claude’s attempted manipulation somethings about you being the only other one I let get away. Peter hadn’t told me not until Visser came with the picture and the Paris story. Peter saw us meet, asked why, broke down and explained why he had had been acting odd once he knew Visser had some news from a past secret. Peter confessed he was worried about you being potentially still desirable to me. Accompanying me is the only way I know to assure Peter. Peter has been able to see for himself the relationship you have with Louis, that you are not a threat to ours. He can’t imagine you ever leaving your little twink for me. Like I said Peter is enamored with Louis. Calls him ‘Harry’s precious little twink’. He can’t see you as a bottom, so he’s having a hard time believing you were ever the one for me. Making this trip to England together has been a good thing for our relationship.”

“What you’re saying is that your boyfriend tags along with you on your record company dates so you can gain trust from him about the security of your bond?” Harry tries to work out a format in which any executive would take their lover in tow. It hardly lends credibility to the image Henri has conjured.

“On, no, of course not Peter only is with me when I’ve been observing your more private interactions. We have to be discrete. That’s why he wasn’t with me at the concert hall and staying away from me here at this club while I’m playing Ted Rogan with Simon and Chester.” Henri says. He and Harry both look over to where Peter and Louis are. Junghook continues to more or less keep his arms around Louis. 

“Wait. Did you just imply that you’ve been inside our flat?” A cold shudder over takes Harry. 

“Only once. To drop off a few devises. And don’t be so worried. You were there actually. Both of you. You were in the shower when we entered. Meanwhile Louis slept all sprawled out on your bed after what, I can assume, was one of your routinely vigorous morning bouts of sex before you get ready for your day. At least that was the impression I got after several days of observation of your routines. After installing some devices we got to see you in action; we came to understand how it was that might have left your lover like he was the morning when we went through to leave surveillance devises. You tend to wake early every day, render Louis exhausted from the breakfast sex so that he drifts off for a little more sleep to recover while you go shower first. Often times Louis is just laying there like we saw, sprawled in bed with his bum coated from it, his smooth skin slicked with it, accentuating his phenomenal posterior until you eventually make him get up because he’s not the best morning person. At least that’s what your routine is on class days. Weekends it’s different. You both sleep in and leaisurly shower together. Saturdays and Sundays are shower sex mornings.” 

“Could you be any creepier? Or insane? How can the violation of our privacy, watching us, be anything to boast about?” Harry says with his shudders becoming more intense as waves of cold and anger mixing together. 

“I’m just being honest Harry. Honest because I think I can help you which in turn makes it more secure for me with Peter. Him seeing how you and Louis are together has put Peter’s concerns, I would leave him for you, aside. Peter is completely convinced Louis has you whipped. You would do anything for Louis. Louis for you too, obviously. Like Louis’ efforts to see you get the recording deal, it’s symbolic of the devotion he has for you and his confidence in your talents, your star potential. You go that route and I can see to it that you and your precious little twink lover have all the best people in personal security,” Henri says nodding in Louis’ direction, “you’ll never have to worry about someone trying to take him away from you, rooftop helicopter or not. And think of the fortune a face like yours can make. It’s not just the voice and your face, it’s your charm, the body, everything. Other than Peter you are the most beautiful creature I’ve ever seen.” 

“Now you listen to me”, Harry growls, his anger taking lead over fear from threat, “I can not tell you enough how much I want no dealings with you. I have plenty of money to take care of us. I’m not selling anything of myself anymore, and furthermore, are you threatening with a Hathaway Tomlinson rooftop reference? Everything you say sounds like some subtle, deeper, darker threat. Kind of doubt Troy did an exposé on Louis’ and my history.” 

“Visser reveal things? Not his style unless he has to, like he did need to share what Claude did with Louis, which was imperative. Visser had to be forthcoming on that history only due to bringing the picture so I knew the context of how it came to him. I decided to look into who this Louis is that took you off the market. Connected the dots between him, you, Visser’s son, the explanation why Visser has this attachment to these two homosexual boys of no relation to him. Tragic thing Visser did to let someone off for murdering your own child, then go on to sodomize a rare treasure like your twink, I would never let Hathaway live to see another day after that. Prison or not. You see Harry it is very easy for me to get the history on someone. Protected information or not. The service I’m offering you Harry is something Visser is far too moral and ethical to provide. He won’t take care of Hathaway like he should have because he only does the job, he’s not the vengeful type. He’s circled his would-have-been son-in-law in some manner of protections, but look how easy it is for me to slip onto the scene when he’s not around. Wouldn’t you feel better knowing I guaranteed no helicopters, no rooftops, I mean look at him,” Henri again nodding to where Louis and Peter are. Junghook is still giving Louis a barrier to touchy behaviors by others in the cramped area near stage from coming too close to Louis. “What are you going to do with him? Is Louis going to have a Koran body guard, a gay Koran body guard, following him around twenty-four-seven?” 

“There is no need for anyone to look after him, us. We’re not of public interest. The implication of taking care of Hathaway is an offer that fullfills a fantasy I’ll admit I’ve had many times, but it’s not seriously something I would ever consider. He’s got prison for life. Unlike you Visser doesn’t get pleasure from killing.” 

Henri ignores the attack. In his trade he always stays cool and on point. “Don’t be so sure that the benefits of celebrity isn’t the best life for you Harry. You have to know many former clients of yours would be happy to take you to bed anytime.” 

It looks like Henri was to say more. He stops though. Halted by sight that Louis is coming toward them, Junghook and Peter trailing behind. Louis looks tipsy and blissfully happy. 

“Getting somewhere I hope?” Louis says before introducing Peter to both Henri, who he identifies as Ted Rogan, and Harry followed by introducing Junghook to Rogan before Louis gets himself tucked under an arm of Harry’s. Louis treads one arm around Harry’s waist, smiling as he looks up at Harry oblivious to the temperaments of those he’s joined, oblivious in his tipsy state to the conflict between Harry and The Frenchman. He also doesn’t pick up the casual ease between the newly met random guy at the club, Peter, and The Industry Executive. Even Junghook who has no cause for interest in these interpersonal dynamics has more awareness of something odd about Rogan and Peter. A familiarity of sorts exists. Louis just chirps on with all smiles for Harry. 

Harry’s increasingly more angered at The Executive who is enjoying watching Louis’ pleased demeanor. Peter is also increasingly looking pleased at Louis’ animated demeanor like this enchants him. These dynamics taken together have Junghook more and more challenged to understand the rising sense of conflict until it becomes blantant when Harry snaps, ending Louis’ banter. Harry makes a sort of tighter hold onto Louis as he steps mighty close to bumping into Peter to walk he and Louis though pushing others aside in the process while telling The Executive how it is. “The only business I need to see to at this time is the business of seeing to an exterminator to clean out my flat.” 

“What? Wait Harry...” Louis says trying to pull Harry back. Harry pulls in return making that impossible. “Harry?” 

The way Louis questions has Harry realizing how much he’s manhandling Louis. It’s not meant to be so but in his need to defend his lover he’s not particularly refined in his approach until he detects in Louis’ question that he’s gotten too rough. Harry knows this can be a trigger for Louis but he remembers it too slowly. Louis jerks free of Harry. The motion causes Louis to step back into a couple that is dancing such that Louis knocks into the girl quite hard. Her male friend responds by pushing Louis with a hard shove using two hands centered on Louis’ chest. Louis has yet another unintended path of motion, this time falling to the floor on his bum. The act of the defensive male creates yet another snap in the ever more intensively strained Harry who pulls back his arm to take a punch at the bloke when Harry’s arm is arrested by a grip, Henri’s, as Peter comes to assist too by picking Louis up off the floor. 

Confronted by three the honest-intending defender of his femine dance partner lashes out verbally at Louis who Peter is fawning over. The defender states “he should watch where he’s going next time, twinkish imp or not”. Left to adjust to the imposing presence of three men rallying around Louis to decompress from his fight mode the bloke resigns to do so. Harry too. Unfortunately this has put Louis and Harry right back in the hands of the Frenchman, accentuating Henri’s point. As Peter looks to be continuing to dote over Louis, dusting him off, inquiring if he is okay, there is Harry stuck where he wants not to be. In his ear the Frenchman says, “You see. In the world it is not a safe place for some. Countless countries jail or kill people for their sexuality. Louis, think of him. See how easy it is for him to get in trouble.” 

Harry gives Henri a hard stare dropping his voice to muster as much authority to it as he can given the pulsing music makes the effect a challenge for him to be heard. 

“Not your problem.” Just like thatHarry strips Louis away from Peter whose tending was gentle and kind of reminiscent of how the Visser boys always treat Louis with the respect that comes from being Aiden’s pretty little doll. It’s probably the strongest signal Harry has gotten that Peter is a sub, and while he might be infatuated with Louis, it is not the type of infatuation where he seeking satiation by taking his pleasure with Louis. Still, everything about their situation is a threat. Pulling Louis away without explanation he says. “Louis, we’re going. Come.” 

The medieval nature of this odd behavior Louis again pulls against Harry before they make much progress through a thick crowd trying to reach the door. “Harry! What the fuck is wrong with you, that was so rude...” 

Again Harry takes Louis back into him. He notes how Henri and Peter are hanging back from where he parted from them. Behind them very confused is Junghook. Off of the distant platform with view of he and Louis are their friends who seem to be paying a tab watching he and Louis as they are suddenly leaving. They can't know anything that transpired on the other side of the club but maybe they saw the scuffle on the floor level, the pushing, the shoving, tha falling, the near fight, because they seem to be trying to pay quickly as to follow. All Harry can know for certain in the instant is that Louis is exasperated by his husband’s inexplicably odd behavior and resisting Harry because he’s clueless to their peril. 

This is why Harry hushes Louis by stopping the protest by a kiss. It’s not any kiss. He’s got Louis wrapped in his arms and his tongue is deep and forceful. Louis’ feet are taken off the floor as Harry envelops him. It isn’t instantaneous, but soon Harry can feel in all of Louis’ responses softening, yielding ever so, then reform to return of the passion of their kiss. 

When Harry sets Louis back onto his feet Louis is quite breathless, a little dazed, his eyes darkened with pupils that show he was feeling the kiss in his entire bodily response. “Louis,” Harry says. 

Crowded club or not Harry takes a knee to show his primitive manhandling is stopped, “listen to me. Please. It’s extremely important. Do you trust me?” 

A perplexed Louis looks around at those who are close to them maybe the crowd of club-goers caught in the question of why is one lad kneeling like to propose to another. Both wearing wedding rings. 

Confused Louis says, “Y-yes. Of course. Of course I do Harry.” 

Harry’s got a peripheral view that tells him Henri and Peter are inching closer. “Then listen to me. That’s not who you think it is. Henri, I mean Ted Rogan. He’s not the executive he’s pretending to be.” 

“What do you mean? Harry’s know who they are. I went to their offices. I’ve met Simon and Chester there, they’ve come to the places I’ve said you would be playing with me.” 

Harry stands up. Putting Louis positioned turned toward Henri and Peter, Harry pressed at Louis’ back, and arm around his waist, another hand holding Louis’ lower jaw like to direct Louis’ face to where Harry points his view, Harry calmly talks into Louis’ ear. “That man has a duel identity Louis. He is not just Ted Rogan. He is Henri Thibault. A French operative. A man I serviced a couple times years ago. He is the man that Claude Bernard was working for when you were presented with a picture taken of me, and him, Ted Rogan, or Henri Thibault, during sex. He is the enemy Louis. He has been in our flat unbeknownst to either of us. He’s been trailing us. He is not a friend.” 

Louis spins around in Harry’s arms searching Harry’s face. His softened eyes show fear in replace or the lust Harry’s kiss stirred up in Louis seconds ago. Thoughts must be spinnning beyond his control; he opens his mouth to speak nothing comes out. But still in Harry’s arms now facing toward Harry again Harry can detect the trembles, see the confusion, fear seeping in. He also sees Soren, Grayson, Liam and Niall making their way through the crowd like to try to intercept Harry and Louis. 

“Louis, come with me. We’re leaving. We going to go to Aiden’s house. We will be safe there.” 

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End file.
